Hello, boys.
Hi, Steve.
This is Doc Chesley, my
veterinarian. Hi, Doc.
I want to get right
to the point, boys.
My horse Dream Prince is entered in
the last race at Ascot this afternoon.
I'll send him out to lose if you pay me
a thousand dollars each. Why would we?
You want me to draw ya
a diagram?
The horse loses, you don't have to pay the
bets people have made with ya, and you clean up.
Why pay a thousand dollars?
Might lose anyway.
He won his last two races on dope.
He can win again today on dope.
Why don't you dope him?
You tell him, Doc.
If we give Dream Prince a
speedball today, he'll win the race,
but it'll kill him.
He'll be dead
an hour or two later.
You sentimental about Dream Prince,
Steve? No, I'm short of cash.
I haven't got enough to make a big bet,
so I can't afford to kill him today.
That's your tough luck.
I ain't kicking in.
How much is bet on him in your
book room? Between 1,000 and 2,000.
- And you?
- Thirty-five hundred.
- Sixteen hundred.
- Two grand.
- Eighteen hundred.
- Nearly 5,000.
I'm not in this racket
for my health.
I see a chance to clean up
10,000 by letting my horse lose.
I want that 10,000,
and I want it now!
Or I'll send Doc Chesley back
and let him shoot the speedball.
But you said it'd kill him. It
will, but he'll win the race.
And you saps will pay off to your customers.
I'll give ya three seconds to figure it out.
Looks like you
figured it out for us.
How we gonna know he ain't
gonna double-cross us?
I hear tell, when you was a
bootlegger, you pulled some fast ones.
Now get this straight.
That horse better lose today.
I'm running this nightclub
and racing horses.
You know where to find me.
Okay, I'm in.
You can count me in too.
I'll buy it,
if you do something for us.
Send out a phony report that you're
making a bet on your own horse to win.
Take it on the lam
and spread it around.
Tell 'em I'm betting
10,000 on him. Right!
That'll double your play
on the horse.
Hey. The boss is bettin'
10,000 on Dream Prince to win.
Yeah?
What's holding you up,
Sorrowful?
That's a lot of dough.
Come on. Dig.
So this is what you call
muscling into the race racket, eh?
Putting the race racket
on a business basis.
Yeah. Givin' us
the business.
Hello, tightwad.
Hi, gold digger.
Hello.
Hello, baby.
Why the rush act? We goin'
places? How'd you guess it?
Where? Over to Fifth Avenue
to pick up that bracelet.
Dream Prince. Ten on the
nose. Ten on the nose.
Initials, please. F.A.
Next. Five to win on Dream Prince.
Sorry, Eddie. We ain't
takin' any markers.
Ask Sorrowful! Sorrowful's not in. Next.
One dollar,
Dream Prince to show.
I said "to show"!
Listen, Sorrowful, I wanna
go for a fin on Dream Prince.
You take the I.O.U.
Till after the race.
Eddie, I dropped into the poorhouse last
visitin' day and conditions were terrible.
The place was so overcrowded
they were sleeping on the floor.
Who was? Bookmakers that used
to take markers! Now, scram!
How about lending us
a loan of two bucks, huh?
Tack on your heels
and walk.
Hello, Boss.
How's it comin'?
All of a sudden,
everybody's on Dream Prince.
Somebody must be
in on the know.
Results of the fourth race
at Blue Field's.
Cold Cuts, first,
ten to one.
Easy Lady, second,
two to one.
Mother O'Mine, third,
even money.
I copped 50 bucks on Cold Cuts.
How about paying me now?
You know we pay
at 4:00, Bennie.
I know, but I just
thought I'd ask.
I want to bet $20
on Dream Prince to win.
- Not with an I.O.U.
- But I've already lost over $500 with you.
I wouldn't take a marker from my
best friend, if I had a best friend.
Listen, Mr. Jones.
Be reasonable.
You can trust me. I haven't got
the 20 on me, but I can get it.
Get it. But I might not be
back in time for the race.
That's your tough luck.
No markers.
Hello.
Look. This is
my little girl.
I'll leave her here
while I go for the money.
I ain't takin' no dolls
for security.
Look, Daddy. He is
running away. Is he afraid?
- Take her down off there.
- Listen, Mr. Jones...
- You get down off there.
- You're afraid of my daddy.
Or you're afraid of me.
You're afraid of something.
Take his marker.
Marker!
Yeah. Little doll like that's worth
20 bucks any way you look at it.
Yeah, she ought to
melt down for that much.
Do you want me to take her
inside? Park her on that bench.
You be a good little girl,
and Daddy will be right back.
I'm not afraid.
Listen, Sorrowful. I and Sore
Toe has an idea. I doubt it.
No, it's an idea,
and it is as follows:
We'd like to put
the bite on you.
All you gotta do is
stand still long enough.
It won't be a big bite,
just a nip.
It's hard to
resist you, boys.
But I'm just able to do it
by using all my strength.
Hey, you flatheads! We are
gonna put the bite on Sorrowful.
Mind if I stick around
and watch?
We have a very reliable tip, and
we would like to bet two fish on...
Dream Prince.
I might add as follows:
We are good for it.
Because Bennie, The Gouge, is gonna give
us 25 smackers per each for a fight tonight.
Bennie, The Gouge?
Who ya fightin'?
We ain't fightin' nobody.
We're fightin' ourselves.
I and Canvas Back
is fightin' a semi-finale.
I thought
you was a wrestler.
Sometimes I box
with Canvas Back.
And sometimes I wrestle
with Sore Toe. Mm-hmm.
I like boys who can
do everything.
I will let you have not only
two fish, but fifty fish.
Take their marker
on Dream Prince for $50.
Go on and write that marker,
because I'm gonna faint.
And I'm very sensitive
about it.
Let me speak
with Bennie, the Gouge.
- Hello?
- The $50 you won on Cold Cuts,
I just won from
your two fighters.
You won't have to pay them
tonight, so that makes us even.
It's a gift. A horse ain't
even gone to the post yet,
and the result is in
and the bets is copped.
I know you.
You are the Black Knight.
Oh, go on, child.
I'm black day and night.
Where's your charger?
Huh?
The one with the white spot
and pointed ears.
Huh?
- I'm the princess.
- Yes, Madam Princess.
And now for the last race
at Ascot.
All right, boys.
Here it comes.
They're off! Dream Prince is still
out in front. Come on, Dream Prince.
Come Easy
is right on his tail.
Bingo is trying hard
for second place.
Where are they now?
Ascot.
Dainty Foot is breaking the
field, comin' up on the outside.
At the three-quarter,
Dainty Foot is comin' fast.
Dream Prince is still leading. The
jockey is givin' him plenty of whip.
They're goin'
into the stretch.
They're neck and neck!
They're nose to nose.
It's a close finish.
Here comes the winner.
Dainty Foot wins.
Aw, that tip cost me
two bucks.
Bingo, second.
Come Easy, third.
Big Steve lost 10,000.
Baloney, I tell ya!
Dream Prince lost.
Here's the marker you
took for that kid. Yeah.
Say, Dizzy. When that guy
comes back for the little doll,
don't you turn her over to him
until you get that 20 bucks.
Yes, sir.
But she's gone, Boss.
Sneaked her out, eh?
That serves me right.
Every time I get bighearted...
When was the other time? No wisecracks.
Why didn't you watch her? Am
I also a nursemaid around here?
What'd you take
the marker for anyway?
I don't know. The little doll
bluffed me into it, I guess.
If you ever get through sweepin', lock
up the joint and go home. Yes, sir.
My goodness. She stay upstairs
in my restaurant all afternoon.
Eat two time
chop suey... free!
What are you doing,
Black Knight?
I done thought your pappy come
got you. Maybe he forgot me.
Does he go around
forgettin' you?
He forgot me once at the circus, and
they arrested the man that found me.
dI do d
dBecause a kiss
can make me d
dAs weak as a lamb d
dBut I'm a black sheep
who's blue d
d They call it paradise d
d And yet it leaves me
with a sigh d
d I've got what money buys d
d But I want things
no money can buy d
d I'm ridin' high
for a fall d
d Where will I go
when I'm through d
d Why doesn't someone take me
away from it all d
d I'm just a black sheep
who's blue d
dd Beat it. You're crabbing my act.
d I'm just a black sheep
who's blue d
Madam Princess?
d Why did I stray
from the fold d
d Why did I learn that lovers
are not always true d
d And even honor
can be bought and sold d
d I've got to be
what I am d
dBlue d
d What I do d
Please, Madam Princess.
dBecause a kiss can make me
as weak as a lamb d
d But I'm a black sheep
who's blue d
d They call it paradise d
d I've got what money buys d
d But I want things
no money can buy d
dI'm bound to fall d
d Where will I go
when I'm through d
d Why doesn't someone
take me away from it all d
d I'm ridin' high for a fall
Take me away from it all d
dI'm just a black sheep d
d Who's blue dd
Her old man
never did come back.
Where are you going, Black
Knight? Home, Princess.
I'm leaving you with him.
- Yours?
- You know I ain't married.
This is the little kid Sorrowful
picked up for the $20 marker.
- Who are you anyway?
- My name is MarthyJane.
Hey. That's
very "co-accidental. "
Marthy sounds like marker,
and that's just what she is.
Little Miss Marker.
Where's your old man?
Your daddy.
I don't know.
- Where do you live?
- In a house made of bricks.
There must be at least two
of those. Which one is it?
It's not as nice
as a castle.
- What castle?
- Sir Lancelot knows about the castle.
Sir Lancelot?
He is Sir Lancelot.
Everybody knows
you're a fast worker,
but why hand a line
to a young dame like that?
I didn't hand her any line. Kids are
always pickin' up things like that.
Say, she's a chunky
little filly.
Chunky? I'll bet
she don't weigh 45 pounds.
- For how much?
- You name it.
How about it?
Let's get organized.
We'll each put 100 in a pool. The
man who gets closest takes the money.
Okay with me.
I'll still say 45 pounds.
You are the Strong Knight.
Hey. What have you been doing?
Showing her your muscles?
Quit wisecracking.
Forty pounds.
I'm not used to
hefting young dames.
Forty-six pounds.
You are
the Honest Knight.
What have you been doing?
Showing her your parole? Nix.
Give the kid to me.
All right. Here.
You guys ought to be ashamed of yourself,
tossing a kid like that around like a ball.
I like it.
I can tell best by walking
a little with her. Uh-huh.
Tell me what you weigh, kid, and
I'll buy ya a doll. I don't know.
- Come on, Bennie. Stop chiselin'.
- Me? Chiseling?
I was just tellin' her
a story.
Forty-three pounds.
You are Sir Percy.
She's making storybook fairies
out of us.
That would be something
to look at.
- You take her, Regret.
- Not me, not me.
I'm not dizzy enough
for this.
I hear you've been dizzy plenty trying
to guess things about a certain redhead.
I wasn't interested
in her weight.
Why don't you lift me?
I don't wanna lift ya.
Lift me!
No!
Aw, go on.
Go ahead, Sorrowful.
Are you Sir Sorry,
the Sad Knight?
Forty-and-a-half pounds.
You hold the stakes. Come on.
We'll weigh her in the kitchen.
Sir Percivale, Sir Sorry,
Sir Lancelot.
We're all dizzy.
You are Lady Guinevere.
King Arthur's Lady Guinevere?
You know about it too?
Yes.
Did you ever break a lance
for a lady fair?
Not recently.
Who is Sir Galahad,
Marky?
He's the best of all.
I haven't seen him
around here.
But I know who you are.
Yes?
You are the Kind Keeper. The
Kind Keeper of what, Marky?
Of the charger, the horse
the princess rides.
Who told you
about all this?
My mommy used to read to me
about King Arthur.
Where is your mother? My mommy
got awfully tired and went away.
She's never coming back
anymore.
Bring her over here.
Who had top weight?
My guess was 46 pounds.
You lose. Who's next?
I said 45.
You lose! Next?
Forty-three.
Take a deep breath.
Cut it out, Bennie. When I lifted
her, she was breathin' natural.
You lose.
I win by three ounces.
Wait a minute.
Hey, nix.
She had it on
when I tested her.
My guess is
40-and-a-half pounds.
Outguessed ya, Steve.
Come on, babe.
Let's get outta here.
So long, kid.
Good-bye, Lady Guinevere.
We are in a jam.
She's on our hands for tonight.
"Our hands"?
Since when have you started
sharing with other citizens?
Listen, I've always been
generous in a quiet way.
Very quiet.
Practically silent.
What am I gonna do with a
kid? Keep her till tomorrow.
Her old man will show up.
Is that what she weighs,
40 pounds?
Forty-and-a-half pounds
of trouble.
Psst!
I wouldn't say anything
about that if I were you.
Oh, you ready for bed?
But I can't sleep
in my underwear.
All right.
Take them off.
They button up the back.
See?
There you are.
Well, what is it?
I didn't go to the bathroom.
Okay, scram. Scram.
If I had any sense, I'd have
taken her to the police station.
Sir Sorry,
I haven't any toothbrush.
Skip it.
Are you playing a game?
Yeah.
- What are you playing?
- Sucker.
Hello, kid.
Listen, baby.
Climb out of the hay and meet me over
at Sorrowful's office with the ice.
'Cause I need dough!
So you lost all that money
in a card game, huh?
You want
my new bracelet too?
Okay, Indian giver.
Sarah?
Yes'm?
Get my jewel case.
They ain't goin' away again,
is they, Miss Bangles? Yep.
But they only just come back
from the pawnshop. I know.
I'm thinking of having a bracelet
made out of the pawn tickets.
We was just thinkin'
of havin' breakfast.
But like you know,
we have no scratch whatever.
Watch this doll till her old man gets back,
and I'll give you two bits for breakfast.
But we're hungry now.
You'll be hungrier later.
There is something to
that. I agree with ya.
When you come to think
of it, there is. Mind her!
Do we have to do everything
this little girl says?
I want that big stick
of peppermint.
But we... Sorrowful said to mind her.
Hello! So you
still got the kid, huh?
Yeah. When that guy shows for his
kid, collect the dough he owes me.
Twenty bucks.
Twenty-one bucks.
Her dinner cost me 85 cents, and
I spent 15 cents for her breakfast.
What? No carfare? Hi, Steve. Hi.
I need 10,000.
It's okay with you?
It's not only okay,
it's a habit.
So this is what they call
goin' for a dame in a big way?
Try it sometime. Pick me up
a doll that can make me do it.
Maybe I'll pick up a guy
who will give and let me keep.
Listen, baby.
I'm only borrowin' the ice.
I want that 10,000 to bet on Dream
Prince when he runs at Viaduct.
That plug?
He lost yesterday.
When he runs at Viaduct,
we'll slip him the speedball.
He'll walk away with it
at ten to one.
Ten thousand at ten to one.
That's $100,000.
I am sorry to disturb you,
citizens.
But wrap your ears
around this.
"Big Steve's Stables
suspended for 30 days. " Ouch!
"Yesterday's race by Dream
Prince to be investigated.
"Betting coup rumor
reaches officials.
Books carried heavy play on
horse. Jockey denies pulling. "
Well, you won't
need the money now.
I've been suspended,
but the horse ain't.
He can't run
as long as you own him.
I'll get him a phony owner.
I'll turn him over
to somebody I can trust.
Who do we know who ain't in the
race racket and is a square shooter?
How about Bennie, The Gouge?
He's not in the race racket.
And if he was,
it would be too bad for us.
Why can't I own him?
Because it's known to all
that you're Big Steve's girl.
Who then?
Everybody speaks highly
of the Statue of Liberty.
Hey.
"Bets $20 on losing horse, then takes
life. An unidentified man was found dead...
"in his gas-filled attic room
this morning in Prindle Alley.
"In his pocket was found
a scribbled ticket...
some bookmaker had given him
for a $20 bet on Dream Prince. "
It's the kid's father.
Bumped himself off.
Tells about the kid
and everything.
Janitor thinks he left
the kid with friends.
I'm having fun!
Go out and have
some more fun, kid.
You can use it.
Well, she goes to
the cops now for sure.
This ain't findin'
a new owner for the horse.
Give me Police Headquarters.
You got no more chance
of finding a square shooter...
than that kid has
of ever seeing her old man.
Never mind.
I'll lend you the money, Steve,
providing you bet half for me.
Why should I? Because I've got
the new owner, one you can trust.
Show me the
new owner first.
There.
You mean Marky?
What do you mean, you're takin'
my stick to my barbershop...
Oh, my peppermint stick!
Ooh!
Hey, what is this? You told us
to mind her and she wanted it.
Step back, Steve.
This horse is afraid of you.
The charger!
Look out, honey.
Oh, he won't hurt her.
He's gentle as a kitten
except...
I want him. I want this
charger. He's yours, darling.
Mine? Marky's?
All yours.
May I ride on him?
- Get him in the van. Take him away!
- Stay back!
They're taking
my charger away.
I told you to keep away from
him. You know he's afraid of you.
Why should he
be afraid of me?
Horses are afraid of some people,
and they don't explain why.
- Get him over to Viaduct!
- Okay.
Come here, Doc.
I want the odds to stay
at ten to one, ya understand?
Anybody ask ya about his condition
just say he's still slowed down.
They won't believe that
if you go bettin' on him.
That's all right. I'm
leaving for Chicago tomorrow.
I want to place all my bets
out there on the quiet.
I'll get the money down at ten to one before
the New York mob gets wise to my play out there.
Okay. I'll be back
the day after the race.
dd
Gee, that's a swell tune.
Gonna miss me, honey?
I miss things easy.
From now on, baby,
you can nail down the ice.
Our end of this is
gonna be 50,000.
"Our end"?
Mm-hmm.
Wonder why Sorrowful
don't show up with that dough.
I was just waitin' for
you two to come up for air.
Remember you're bettin' half of
this for... I know. Half for you.
Time to beat it, Boss.
No playin' around.
You notice how he trusts me? Hmm.
Keep your eye on her, Sorrowful. Sure.
Well, tightwad,
you're my watchman.
You'll need watchin',
gold digger.
If you wanna be kept busy,
I can arrange it.
I'm busy now playin'
nursemaid to one doll.
I hear you like it so well you
got a new apartment for the kid.
- I couldn't stable her in that little...
- Hello, Sorrowful.
Hello, Copper. Regret told
me I'd find you over here.
One of your tickets, ain't it? Yeah.
We found it in the pocket
of a guy who killed himself.
He had a kid. You see or
hear anything about her?
No.
Uh-huh.
Thanks.
dd
Takin' a long chance,
ain't ya?
Got to keep her now
till after the race.
But it looks like playin' nursemaid
is liable to have its moments.
I think as follows: This is a
swell joint Sorrowful's got here.
I agree with ya. He must have spent
most of our 50 bucks on this setup.
Cold!
How could it be cold
when there's no ice?
That's right.
It must be us that's cold.
Hey, are you tryin' to
get gay? Listen, now...
You want to wake up
that kid again?
He smacked me
on the brain.
Sir Sorry!
She's back again.
You go to bed.
I don't wanna go to bed.
What do you do about
putting a baby to sleep?
Tell her the dirt about Bunny
Rabbit and the big bad Foxy-Woxy.
How they comin', kid?
Where did she pick that
up? Listenin' to you mugs.
Now, you go to bed.
Nix to that.
The kid is getting tough. You'd
better tell her a fairy story.
Oh, come on.
Let's play cards.
It's up to you to bet. You
got a couple of ladies showing.
A couple of queens ain't
much, but I'll bet two bucks.
Oh, look!
A picture of Lady Guinevere.
Oh! Three
Lady Guineveres.
And me with only
two King Arthurs.
What do you mean
by picking up that card?
I put you to bed three times. You
get in there and stay in there!
Lay off. She don't know no better.
She spoiled the killing for me.
Look, it's all right.
He didn't mean nothin'.
He doesn't like me!
He don't even like
himself. I want my daddy!
I propose as follows:
You go to sleep.
Look, kid, at the watch.
I don't wanna.
Hey, where did
you get that watch?
Don't be technical
at a time like this.
Look, Canvas Back and I,
we'll make fun for ya, huh?
Well, personally, I think
the watch is a better gag.
Hey, me eye!
Now I got ya.
How do you like this hold?
L- I liked that.
It's a setup.
Come on, you guys.
Go on home.
What about the poker game?
We'll set it up tomorrow night.
Good night.
So long.
What did you want to stick
your finger in my eye for?
Honest I didn't mean it.
I was only playing.
Now, what's
the matter now?
You don't like me!
Do you always cry when
somebody don't like ya? Yes!
You got a lot of crying
to do. Go to sleep.
My mother used to read to me about King
Arthur every night before I went to sleep.
Be reasonable!
I won't!
All right, all right.
All right.
What's that, uh...
What's that guy's name?
King Arthur.
King Arthur, all right.
"When they bang away from
the tape tomorrow at Pimlico,
"you can wager the family
knives and forks that...
"that King Arthur will be showing
his heels to the best of them.
Tomorrow morning when...
King Arthur steps out... "
Hmm? "It is conceded
by the wise rail birds...
"that he will hang up
a new record.
"Although the track
is liable to be muddy,
"uh, King Arthur will go
splashing through the wind.
In the Preakness last year, King Arthur showed
what he had by running the mile in one... "
Give that guy the rouse.
I'll tell you about it later.
Go on. Scram.
Who are you? I'm the guy
that just told you to scram.
You leave me alone!
Take your hands off!
Who's he?
A pest.
If he'd have followed me home,
I'd have never gotten rid of him.
So you bring him here?
You're my watchman.
Big Steve was hardly out of town when
you step out with a good-time Charley!
Stop yelling at me.
Well, he's gone. Beat it.
Sir Sorry!
Are you satisfied?
I spent all night puttin' her to sleep
and you come here and start yelling!
Sir Sorry!
Wait. I'll put her
to sleep.
And when you do, blow.
I'm goin' to bed.
Oh. Hello.
Why aren't you asleep?
Aw, lay off me.
Oh, that's no way
to talk, honey.
Will you sing to me?
Will you go to sleep then?
Sure.
d Go to sleep, you
gorgeous little rascal d
d Thank your lucky stars
you got a bed d
d You better get your shut-eye
while the gettin' is good d
d You've got some
tough nights ahead d
d You'll grow up and
find it's all a racket d
d Cards are stacked against ya
from the start d
d Us gals have got to take it
from the time that we're born d
d Because we're born
with a heart d
d You're only a doll d
d And a man will have you
crying too soon d
d For after all d
d You can't even trust
the man in the moon d
d Go to sleep and
dream about your charger d
dd
d Sir Galahad
is waitin'... dd
Well, what are you doing
up? Lookin' for some eats.
Ain't you ever
anything but hungry?
You wait till nurse gets here.
She'll get your breakfast.
We are hungry.
Well, I ain't hungry.
Well, we are.
What do you mean "we"?
She would be hungry
when she wakes up.
Hey, what's the idea?
"Idea"?
Where's the kid?
The kid's up.
"Up"?
I sang myself to sleep. Yeah,
your singin' is like that.
I'm not runnin' a flophouse
for dames to sleep out.
I don't happen to be a dame that
sleeps out. I fell asleep accidental.
Usin' my place as a hideout
from a good-time Charley.
Aw, shut up. All right.
Take it on the lam.
As soon as I get some clothes.
You're wearin' clothes.
I'm not going out this time
of day with these clothes on.
If you went home nights, instead
of hanging around with a...
Maybe I could get home nights, if
you didn't shout and wake up kids.
I wouldn't have to shout
if you stayed away.
It won't happen again.
I'll give you plenty of air.
I'll take gallons of it. Better than
that, I'll give you oceans of it.
I'll take three oceans
worth. You would. It's free.
The nurse isn't here yet,
and I wanna get dressed.
All right, honey. Go and get
your clothes. I'll dress you.
Circle seven, one, six,
three, three.
Why, honey, it's all
torn. That's all I got.
Hello, Sarah?
Bring your clothes?
Where did you all say?
Who? Mr. SorrowfulJones?
Yes'm, Miss Bangles.
I'll hurry.
Mr. SorrowfulJones.
A delivery boy
says they're for you.
I didn't order this stuff,
whatever it is.
Come here!
What's these?
Miss Carson ordered them. Bangles?
What did you
bring them here for?
She said to deliver them to her
apartment after I collected here.
Collected?
Yes, sir, $52.60.
You tell him that.
$52.60.
$52.60.
Yeah, that's right.
We're not questionin'
the amount.
Pay this guy.
Huh?
You said pay him?
Now, once more, Marky,
and do it the way I told you.
All right, but I want to sit
on the piano like you do.
All right.
dd
d Look at the funny side
and have your fun d
d Stay by your honey's side
and laugh, you son of a gun d
d It doesn't cost a thing d
d To buy the sun d
d You haven't lost a thing
So laugh, you son of a gun d
d I don't mean to snicker d
Hah, hah, hah!
d I don't mean to giggle d
Hee, hee, hee!
d I don't mean to chuckle d
d No, no, no, no
What I mean is d
d Ho, ho, ho, ho
Look at the funny side d
d For when you're done d
d It's all a buggy ride d
d So laugh
you son of a gun d
d Look at the funny side d
d Then have your fun d
d Stay by
your honey's side d
d And laugh
you son of a gun d
d It doesn't cost a thing d
d To buy the sun d
d You haven't lost a thing d
d So laugh
you son of a gun d
d I don't mean to snicker d
Hah, hah, hah!
dI don't mean to giggle d
Hee, hee, hee!
dI don't mean to chuckle d
d No, no, no, no d
d What I mean is
ho, ho, ho, ho d
d Look at the funny side d
d For when you're done d
d It's all a buggy ride d
d So laugh
you son of a gun dd
Hi, gold digger.
Hello!
Oh, Sir Sorry,
look at my new dress.
She looks human now. Oh, I've
got so many pretty clothes.
$52.60 to buy clothes
for a little doll like her!
Why didn't you send them back? 'Cause
I wasn't there when they was delivered.
Regret paid for 'em.
When I got home and found the things here,
I thought I'd guessed right for a change.
"Guessed right"?
Oh, let it go.
You wouldn't understand anyway.
Looks like you could be happy
in a swell joint like this.
Sure.
Steve phoned four times last night
between 1:00 and 5:00 this morning.
If Steve finds out
you stayed at my place...
Oh, I phoned him
a while ago.
I told him I had the kid here
and shut off the phone.
Oh, you handed him a line. Yeah.
I was afraid he'd put the slug
on ya. He might get in a jam.
For puttin' the slug on me?
There's probably a law
against it.
Come on, you dogs!
Show 'em your heels!
Come on, you dogs!
Give 'em the whip!
Hooray! The winner!
Here. When you get the kid
to your place,
you might try reading to her out
of this instead of that racing form.
Oh, I paid for it myself.
It's a little worn,
ain't it?
I hadn't noticed it.
Maybe I should have
ordered you some clothes.
You dames worry a lot
about clothes, don't ya?
It ain't only clothes. When
a girl starts going for a guy,
clothes don't mean a thing.
Yeah, I hear they get married
even in them nudist colonies.
Good-bye, Lady Guinevere.
Good-bye, Marky.
$52.60.
"Sir Lancelot came home
two days...
"before the Feast
of Pentecost.
"King Arthur and all the court
were full glad of his coming.
"When Sir Gawain,
Sir Uwaine,
Sir Sag... Sir... "
Sir Sagramore.
"Sir Sagramore...
"saw Sir Lancelot
in Sir Kay's armor,
"then they wished well
it was he that...
smote them down
all with one spear. "
I want the other one. What other
one? This is King Arthur, ain't it?
I want the King Arthur
you was reading me about.
What King Arthur? That was always kicking
dust in the face of a lot of bang tails.
Talkin' like that
ain't nice. What's nice?
Bein' a good girl
is nice.
I'm a bad girl. Nurse says so. Why?
Nurse says there's
somebody named God.
A girl's bad if she doesn't
pray to him every night.
Yeah?
Daddy says there's
nobody named God.
When did he say that?
When my mom went away.
I guess your daddy
got a bad break.
But what he said wasn't right...
not just right.
He kind of forgot a little. I
mean, there is somebody named God.
Do you know Him?
I heard about Him.
From what I hear,
He's a pretty good sport.
Always trying to give
a citizen a break.
There's something you want and can't
promote it for yourself, ask God for it.
As often as not,
He comes through.
You write letters to Him
like you do to Santa Claus?
Oh, no. That's
where praying comes in.
But bad girls like me
can't pray.
You ain't a bad girl.
Then show me how to pray.
You lay down and go to sleep.
But I want to ask for
something. You would.
Regret knows everything. I'll
ask him to show me how to pray.
Now don't you go asking that
mug Regret about anything.
All right.
Get out of bed.
I'll show ya how to pray...
sort of.
But don't you tell anybody.
See?
Is it a secret?
Between you and me.
Now, kneel down.
Put your hands together
like this.
Elbows on the bed.
Shut your eyes.
You gonna shut yours too? Nope.
I got to see that you do it right.
Now what do I do?
Say like this:
"Now I lay me down to sleep...
Now I lay me down to sleep...
"and pray the Lord
my soul to keep.
And pray the Lord
my soul to keep.
"If I should die
before I wake,
If I should die
before I wake,
I pray the Lord
my soul to take. "
I pray the Lord
my soul to take.
And make me a good little girl.
You wanna be a little girl?
No, no, dear.
Make you a good little girl.
Make me
a good little girl.
Is that all?
That's the works.
But when do
I ask for what I want?
You better do it right now
while your prayer's still hot.
Please, God, buy Sir Sorry
a new suit of clothes.
You're crazy.
You don't believe it?
I didn't believe it myself.
I had to get soused before I...
Regret's on a bender.
She goes out and buys
$52.60 worth of clothes...
and charges-s-s them
to him and he paid.
You paid. He wasn't there
when they were delivered.
Listen, tootsy,
I am crocked now.
But I was sober yesterday
when the boy...
came in to collect $52.60
and Sorrowful paid.
Then he was there.
He did pay.
Sure. He opened the box, and
he looked at the... stuff.
And he turned to me and
he says, "Regret," he says,
"pay this guy. "
And that is the reason
I am on this bender.
So, I am up at Sorrowful's
house this afternoon...
Regret's been seeing
things. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
I am up at Sorrowful's house
this afternoon.
And I am talking
with the little girl.
And all of a sudden...
Something comes through the
door, and I look twice and it's...
It's Sorrowful!
One, sir?
Scram!
Good evening, sir. Your
chair, sir. Beat it.
Yes, sir.
Can I touch?
Can't a citizen buy a new suit of
clothes without everybody goin' batty?
What I mean, Sorrowful,
you look swell.
Looks all right, huh?
It's the best break a suit
of clothes has had in years.
It ain't because of
anything I said, is it?
No. Ain't because of
anything anybody said.
I needed a new suit of clothes
and I got it. Now lay off.
Pardon my enthusiasm.
I couldn't help it.
You buyin' the kid
a new wardrobe...
I told you Regret paid for
the kid's clothes, didn't I?
Mmm. I know.
I suppose if you'd have been
there, you'd have sent them back.
Why not?
All that dough for...
All right, tightwad.
Why the disguise?
Aw, lay off him.
Can't a guy wear a different suit
without startin' a riot?
Was you lookin'
for something, Copper?
Yeah. The kid.
Another kid get lost?
No, it's the same kid.
One of them orphan societies
is on our neck.
You know. Afraid she might have fallen
into the hands of the wrong people.
Got time to take a run up to
that new apartment of yours?
What for?
That ticket ties you in.
I've got to take a look
around your place.
You know.
Just for the record anyway.
All right. We was just fixin'
to get something to eat.
Yeah.
All right, I'll...
I'll wait for ya.
Give me the keys.
But...
Quick. Go to the bar
and stall him.
Where are they?
In the bedroom, Mr. Jones.
Say...
You're telling me.
Gee, don't you wish
you could sleep like that?
I can, without wishin'.
You probably snore.
Oh, so you listened,
huh?
Have a drink?
Thanks.
Reardon searched
my place.
He's sending a woman from one of
them orphan societies tomorrow.
You mean you can't take her
back to your place?
If they find her, they may get wise
to the frame up on Dream Prince.
Well, you can't leave her
here. Afraid of the cops?
No.
Then what?
I'm afraid of the kid.
I don't want her here.
I'm not going sappy over her.
I won't! See?
You're already sappy
over her. But you're not?
She's just something I can't get rid of,
because... she's tangled up in a race deal.
Wasn't tangled up in a deal the first
night. You could have unloaded her.
You didn't stage no riot when she
busted up your song at the nightclub.
- You read King Arthur to her.
- You take her out and buy new clothes.
And you stood still for the bite
without even being chloroformed!
All right, I did pay!
Her clothes were falling off her.
Oh, Sorrowful.
I'm like you.
I don't wanna admit it.
The way she's gotten to... us.
She's given me a chance
to get to you.
I've been crazy about you
for a long time.
Oh, everything is different.
Maybe that's part of...
of going sappy.
I used to call you names,
but now...
it's like you're somebody else.
Not Sorrowful.
A different guy.
In a new suit. I know lots of
swell-looking suits walking around.
We're forgetting
I'm Steve's girl.
Steve's out of town.
And when he comes back?
I was just lookin'
after ya. See?
Steve will never know.
Well, that keeps
my record clean.
My record for always
guessing wrong.
Now, get out!
Take it away.
Don't want no mush. Scram!
But Miss Bangles said you
always to have a hot breakfast.
Aw, what does she know?
What's the matter, Marky?
Tryin' to hand me mush.
Don't you like it?
No!
Say, no, thank you.
Say it like this:
No, thank you, Bangles.
I don't care for any.
What for?
You used to say "thank you"
and "no, thank you. "
I used to be a sissy.
Now, where did you get that?
Ain't tellin'.
And I don't want no mush!
Don't you like me anymore? Well...
You used to like me
when I was Lady Guinevere.
There ain't no Lady Guinevere.
Oh, yes, there is, dear.
Just like there's a charger.
There ain't no charger.
But you saw him.
They took him away.
Well, maybe they'll bring him back
if you remember to say "thank you"?
Well, maybe I will
stand for some mush.
Thank you.
Some cream?
A little.
Please.
There's two gentlemen
to see you all, Miss Bangles.
Hiya, palsy-walsies! Hi,
Marky, old scouterino.
We were told
to bring you this.
What are ya eatin'?
Mush?
Baby food.
I ain't eatin' it.
I don't care for any.
Thank you.
That's better, honey.
Imagine making a kid
say "tanks" for mush.
She's makin' a sissy
out of her.
So that's where
she got this stuff!
Well, she's not going with you.
Now, beat it!
She said, "Beat it!"
I wanna go with them.
No, honey.
They's gone.
Is you gonna keep her?
A girl in my racket?
Hey, what's the idea?
I've been double-crossed.
And I'm goin' back to New York
to ask somebody a few questions.
dd
Hey, why so high-hat?
Sit down.
Dropped in to say
I'm sorry about, uh...
Forget about the other night.
I wanted to see you too.
Just coffee, please.
Same here.
Yes, sir.
Goin' for someone
in a big way?
Thought you looked kind of
undressed without 'em.
Thanks for changing
your mind about the kid.
It's only for
a few days more.
That's what I wanted
to talk to you about.
Do you remember those
dizzy fairies she used to have?
King Arthur and his mob?
They're gone.
We gypped her out of them,
and now she's just a mug... like us.
What's the matter
with that?
When we first met her,
she was a sweet kid.
Nice people would have been glad to have
her, but now she hasn't got a chance.
Because she's a little tough
now? She's plenty tough.
They want kids who have been
brought up right. Who does?
Nice people.
You know, young married couples
who have no kids of their own.
Why don't you get nice
and adopt her?
'Cause I'm not
a young married couple.
You'd love to see her get a good
home, wouldn't you? Yeah, sure.
Well, she won't. Not unless we can
change her back to what she was.
Read the book to her.
That won't work.
We showed her Big Steve's plug
and called it the charger.
We told her it was hers,
then snatched it away from her.
That started her off, and now, she doesn't
believe anything about King Arthur anymore.
She's got to be shown. Let her
take another look at the horse.
And King Arthur and
the Knights of the Round Table.
Yeah, but where
you gonna get them?
I got it figured out.
Come on.
Oh, decided to get democratic and
mingle with the riff and the raff, huh?
I'm inviting you all
to a party.
You gonna pour tea, Duchess?
It's a kid party, kind of.
Will we have rattles and
toy balloons to play with?
Listen, Sorrowful has okayed it. Yep.
It's to give the kid a break.
Introduce her to society, huh?
No, get her back on speaking terms
with those fairies she used to have.
We'll dress up as...
As what?
Sir Galahad, Sir Lancelot,
Sir Gawain, Sir Percivale...
Me social calendar
is filled for the season.
Oh, please.
It's for the kid.
Let them as will, swim channels
and such for their kiddies.
But I will never dress up
as Sir Percivale.
You've got to!
In English, in German,
in French, in Italian,
yes, even in Scandinavia,
the answer is no!
Get me some more beer!
I want some beer!
I want some beer now.
Listen, you mugs!
Keep quiet! Pay attention!
You're Knights of the Round Table,
and you gotta play straight for the kid.
This is her party. She's gonna get a kick
outta seeing her storybook fairies come to life.
- You gotta act according.
- According to what?
According to the hop that
Bangles read ya outta this book.
You're supposed
to be regular knights.
Quiet, quiet, quiet!
Before we get goin', does anybody
want to know anything else?
Yes, there is one thing I
would like to know. What?
What am I doin' here?
I'm sorry, but the club is reserved
for a private party tonight.
Who waits without? Two
knights for the Round Table.
Two knights for
the Round Table.
Two knights for
the Round Table.
Pray have
the two knights enter.
What an
extraordinary party.
Enter two knights
for the Round Table.
I would like to know as follows: How we
gonna get this hardware back to the museum?
We'll throw the suits
in the river.
But we gotta remember
one thing. What's that?
First we gotta get outta the
suits. That's a good idea.
I'm glad
you thought of it.
Hello, Bugs!
Why, you dirty...
Ooh!
Do that when
I'm lookin', will ya?
dd
Pipe down! Pipe down!
The princess!
Welcome, Princess,
to the Round Table!
We salute you, Princess,
and would die for you.
Go ahead.
That would be something.
These are all my brave knights,
and this is Sir Lancelot.
What's the big idea,
Regret?
I ain't Regret.
I am Sir Lancelot.
Why, dear, don't you see? All of
your knights have come to life.
Hooey!
They ain't no knights.
That makes it unanimous.
But, look. Can't you see
these are knights?
Sure, you can tell as follows:
Look at these tin suits.
I agree with ya.
Look at 'em.
Why are they all dressed up
in ash cans?
She's too grown up.
She's spoilin' our children's party.
She was gonna get
a big kick outta this, huh?
We might as well
wash this up and go home.
It turns out we're givin'
this clambake for ourselves.
Can't be blamed for tryin', kid.
Wait. There's still the charger.
It cost us 25 bucks to bring the
nag here. We might as well try it.
Varlet!
The charger!
Varlet! The charger!
The charger!
You brought him
back to me.
Sir Sorry brought him
back to you.
Oh, Sir Sorry.
Is he mine now? Mine? My very own? Yes.
For always?
Yes.
L... I didn't know you
liked me. Well, I...
But I...
I always liked you.
Want to kiss me? Well, I
ain't runnin' for mayor.
Give.
You are Sir Galahad,
the greatest one of all.
And you are the Kind Keeper.
Thank you, Princess.
May I ride him now?
Why, of course, Princess, and all
my brave knights will follow you.
d East side, west side d
d All around the town d
d The cops play
ring the rosie d
d London Bridge is falling down d
d Boys and girls together d
dMe and Mamie O'Rourke d
d We trip the light fantastic d
d On the sidewalks of New York d
dEast side, west side d
What's the matter, Doc?
You heard what she said about
me, the Kind Keeper. Yeah?
And tomorrow morning I'm going to
shoot that into her charger's neck.
It'll make him win the race,
but it'll kill him. Kill him?
So that Steve can buy more
bangles for his Lady Guinevere.
You give me that.
Get out.
dd
Are you going
to kill her horse?
To a kid, one horse
is like another.
But there couldn't be another. He's
something she believes in again.
I can't throw 50,000 away
for a little doll.
Reardon said he was afraid the kid would
fall into the hands of the wrong people.
It looks like she has.
I thought maybe he was wrong.
But it was me who was wrong.
I could have gone for you.
I thought maybe you had changed, you had
a decent streak in you, but you haven't.
You're not even
halfway decent.
Take your 50 grand. Take a million
grand! Take all the dough in the world.
But you'll always be just what you
are, the cheapest skate on Broadway!
d I'll never go there anymore d
d The bowery
The bowery d
d They say such things
and they do great things d
d On the bowery
The bowery d
d I'll never go there anymore d
d The bowery d
Who closed my joint? Sorrowful
bought it out for a party.
Know anything about this?
"You better come back and ask
Bangles some questions. Sarah. "
Who's Sarah? She's the maid I
got planted in Bangles' apartment.
What do you know?
All I know, Boss, is that
I'm supposed to be a fairy.
dd
Just get back?
Yeah!
d How happy we'll be d
Ahead of time, ain't ya? Yeah.
Who brought that horse in here?
I did.
Hey! Y'all gone crazy?
Get that kid off that horse.
No, please, Steve.
- Get off!
- He is my charger.
Stay back, Steve.
Marky!
Whoa! Whoa!
Marky! Marky!
She was having
such a good time.
Doctor?
Her condition is critical.
Internal injuries.
Dr. Ingalls is on his way
to Gramercy Park Church.
Of course. I'd forgotten.
He's getting married tonight.
Who's Dr. Ingalls?
A child's surgeon.
Is he the best?
Best in the world.
dd
Well, Doctor,
it'll be any moment now.
I feel as though I were about to perform
my first operation all over again.
I mean, stage fright.
dd
Come on.
Dr. Ingalls?
Yes?
I'm going to be married!
You can get married anytime!
And she stayed
over to his place one night.
And he gave her back
the ice, huh? Yes, sir.
Hey, Boss, ain't that kind
of risky around a hospital?
Shut up. With a flock of doctors around?
Doctors ain't gonna do him
any good. You stay here.
We'll have to do a transfusion
at once. Yes, Doctor.
Please, tell me.
It's transfusion.
You'd better all come along
for a blood test.
Of course.
Won't any of us do?
None of you match.
Why, there's Dr. Ingalls. This is
magnificent of you. Magnificent!
This gentleman has
explained the situation.
Phone Gramercy Park Church. Tell
them I'll be back as soon as possible.
Yes, Doctor.
The bloods don't match.
Get group two immediately.
Is it a transfusion for the baby? Yes.
Try us.
Of course. Come on.
Pulse is failing.
We can't operate
until we find a donor.
Oxygen.
No go.
None of you'll do.
We've located
a professional donor.
He'll be here in 15
minutes. That'll be too late.
Never mind.
You two played a nice
little game. Steve.
Take your hand out of your
pocket, Steve. Just your hand.
Is this
another volunteer?
Why, yes. All right. Send him in.
What's the idea?
Get in that room, Steve.
Inside.
Take off your coat, Steve.
What is this?
Sit down
and roll up your sleeve.
They match.
Come with me, please.
Hurry up, Steve!
Come on.
We found a donor, Doctor.
Good. Bring him in.
In you go, Steve.
Lie down here, please.
Okay.
L... I got a lot of nerve
comin' to You now.
But I'm doin' it for her.
Don't let anything
happen to her.
Don't seem like
she ought to die.
Give her a break.
She's such a little doll.
I'm not asking anything
for myself.
Not a thing.
I'm sorry
for everything I said.
You called me
by the right name.
I'm the cheapest skate
on Broadway.
You're the grandest guy
I've ever known.
If the kid lives,
the three of us might...
She's got to live.
For us.
Look. She's getting alive.
Your blood is giving her life.
My blood?
Get a kick out of it?
Giving life?
Giving life.
I can operate now and save her.
Gee, that's swell.
It's like I was her old man.
You've got good blood.
Me?
Strong, good blood.
Stop the oxygen.
The Strong Knight.
Is that all?
Yes. And thanks.
Well, the doll's gonna live.
And you know why?
'Cause I got good blood.
Well, Steve?
From now on,
he can buy them for ya.
And don't forget!
I've got good blood!