1
[GUNSHOT]
[GUNSHOT]
[HORN HONKS]
[HONK HONK]
[HONK]
[HONK]
[HONK HONK]
[TIRES SCREECH]
[BOOM]
[ENGINE KNOCKING]
[CAR ALARM BEEPS]
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
HELLO, HELLO.
HOW ARE YOU?
NICE WEATHER
WE ARE HAVING TODAY.
NICE WEATHER?
YOU THINK WE'RE
HAVING NICE WEATHER?
I GUESS YOU DIDN' LOSE THE ONLY ONE
THAT MEANT ANYTHING
IN YOUR LIFE.
I GUESS YOU DON' FEEL BURNED OU BY THE HUMAN MISERY
AND DESPAIR
PERPETRATED BY
THE CRIMINAL VERMIN
THAT INFES EVERY PORE OF
THIS DECAYING CITY,
FORCING YOU
TO GUZZLE CHEAP WINE
AND CHEAP WHISKEY
TO DULL THE PAIN
THAT SHATTERS
YOUR HEART,
RIPS AT YOUR SOUL,
KEEPS YOUR DAYS
FOREVER GRAY.
WHAT FLAVOR ICEE
YOU GOT TODAY?
KIWI CHERRY.
KIWI CHERRY.
YUCK.
OH, BABY.
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
EXCUSE ME.
DO YOU HAVE ANY OF THESE
IN TAUPE?
NO TAUPE.
BEEF JERKY.
AND YOU CALL THIS
A CONVENIENCE STORE?
[SPEAKING
FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
OPEN UP THE CASH REGISTER,
OR I'LL SPLATTER
YOUR BRAINS.
EXCUSE ME.
YOU SCUZZBALLS
MIND IF I JOIN IN?
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
[SLURPING]
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
THINKING, PUNK.
YOU'RE THINKING,
"DID HE FIRE
173 TIMES...
OR 174?"
WELL, DO YOU
FEEL LUCKY...
PUNK?
[DING]
[CLERKS SPEAKING
FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
YOU GUYS GOT TO GE THAT THING FIXED.
I KNOW. DON'T THANK ME.
I'M JUST A COP
DOING HIS JOB.
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
[RING]
YOU HAVE REACHED THE DESK
OF SERGEANT WES LUGER.
PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE
AFTER THE BEEP.
YEAH, WES.
IT'S ME, BILLY.
HEY! I SAID,
"AFTER THE BEEP."
WELL, EXCUSE ME.
[BEEP]
LISTEN, IT'S 9:36--
OH, 9:37.
LOOK, IT'S JUST GETTING
TOO DANGEROUS
TO WAIT HERE.
I GOT TO GET OUT.
MEET ME AT THE SQUEALER'S
HOTEL IN 45 MINUTES.
I HAVE A CONTACT THERE.
[COUGHS]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
WHO IS IT?
[FOREIGN ACCENT]
WILDERNESS GIRLS.
WILDERNESS GIRLS.
A LITTLE LATE
TO BE SELLING COOKIES.
TROOP LEADER SAYS WE ARE
NOT MEETING OUR QUOTA.
I'LL TAKE A COUPLE
OF BOXES.
THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY,
MISS YORK.
I GOT TO BE HONEST.
YOU LOOK BETTER
IN THE WIG.
MY HAIRSTYLE IS THE LEAS OF YOUR WORRIES.
WILDERNESS GIRLS, EH?
SO THAT'S HOW YOU'RE
MOVING THE DRUGS.
BRILLIANT, MISS YORK.
NOW...
WHERE IS THE MEECROFILM?
THE WHAT?
THE MEECROFILM.
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT ANY MEECROFILM.
DON'T PLAY COY WITH ME.
THIS IS TOO IMPORTANT.
AND THIS IS THE PLOT.
IMPORTANT ENOUGH
SO THAT ANYONE
WITHIN EARSHO SHOULD LISTEN TO EACH
AND EVERY DETAIL?
THAT IMPORTANT.
AND YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT THE MICROFILM
WHICH HOLDS THE RECIPE
FOR TURNING COCAINE
INTO INNOCENT-LOOKING
COOKIES?
YES.
I DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
IN A LITTLE WHILE,
MISS YORK,
YOU WILL BE BEGGING
FOR MERCY.
NO, NO. I'LL BEG NOW.
SAVE YOURSELF
UNNECESSARY PAIN.
TELL ME!
McCRACKEN.
THANK YOU, MISS YORK.
IS THAT DAN McCRACKEN
OR MIKE McCRACKEN?
MIKE.
OOH!
IS HE ON ALPINE OR OAK?
ALPINE.
UHH!
HEY, PSST!
PARK ON 3rd.
YOU'LL NEVER FIND
A SPOT ON ALPINE.
THANK YOU. YOU HAVE
BEEN MOST COOPERATIVE.
DON'T MENTION IT.
[GUNSHOT]
AND, YOU, REMEMBER,
YOU SAW NOTHING.
WHAT YOU GOT, IRV?
OH. BEATS ME, SARGE.
DANDRUFF, SEBORRHEA,
MAYBE JUST DRY,
ITCHY SCALP.
HAVE YOU
TRIED THIS, IRV?
I USE IT.
HEAD & SHOULDERS?
SARGE, YOU DON' HAVE DANDRUFF.
I KNOW.
ARE YOU READY
TO LIMBO?
WHOO!
[LIMBO MUSIC PLAYING]
WHAT'LL IT BE?
MATTE FINISH OR GLOSSY?
MATTE.
GOOD CHOICE.
BE READY IN ABOU A WEEK.
SO WHAT ARE WE
LOOKING AT HERE, DOC?
THE WORST-DRESSED STIFF
I'VE EVER SEEN.
THIS STIFF AND I
POUNDED A BEAT TOGETHER
FOR FIVE YEARS,
SO SHOW SOME RESPECT.
I'M SORRY, WES.
I SEE
SO MUCH OF THIS
SENSELESS MAYHEM
THAT SOMETIMES
I GET A LITTLE
INSENSITIVE.
ALL RIGHT,
THIS LOSER HAS TAKEN
THE CHICKENSHI WAY OU AND PUNCHED
HER OWN TICKET.
SUICIDE, HUH?
SHE MUST HAVE
CAUGHT HERSELF
BY SURPRISE.
FOUND THESE NEAR HER.
WILDERNESS GIRL COOKIES.
GIVE ME A HAND, DOC.
SURE.
[CRUNCH]
[CRUNCH]
THANKS.
YOU KNEW HER, SARGE?
YEAH, I KNEW HER.
SHE WAS MY PARTNER.
I'M SORRY, SARGE.
HEY--HEY, SARGE.
IT'S TINGLING.
GOOD, IRV.
THAT MEANS IT'S WORKING.
HERE'S TO GETTING THROUGH
ANOTHER LOUSY DAY.
CLAIRE.
OH, CLAIRE.
I MISS YOU SO MUCH.
I'M TRYING, CLAIRE.
GOD KNOWS I'M TRYING.
BUT IT'S TOO DAMN HARD
WITHOUT YOU.
I'LL GET THE BASTARDS
THAT TOOK YOU.
WELL, HERB, BACK
TO THE SALT MINES.
MIND IF I DRIVE
THIS TIME?
THIS IS SUPPOSED
TO BE AN EXPRESS LINE!
NO, HE HAD FULLER LIPS.
POUTING LIPS.
WIDE EYES.
YES, THAT'S HIM.
DOOLEY, GIVE IT A BREAK.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
DOOLEY'S BET US HE CAN
ESCAPE IN 15 MINUTES.
HOW LONG HAS
HE BEEN AT IT?
THREE DAYS.
BETTER STEP ON IT.
[YELLING]
YOU THINK CRIME'S
TAKING A HOLIDAY?
WELL, THINK AGAIN!
WHAT THE HELL
YOU WANT, LUGER?
I WANT THE YORK CASE.
THERE IS
NO YORK CASE! IT WAS
A SUICIDE! COFFEE?
CAPPUCCINO?
ESPRESSO?
HEY, SCOTTI, CAN YOU
GET THIS MACHINE
TO WORK?
I'M GIVING I ALL SHE'S GOT, CAPTAIN!
IF I PUSH IT ANY HARDER,
THE WHOLE THING'LL BLOW!
GIVE ME MY PLATE!
I DON'T THINK
YORK WAS A SUICIDE.
SHE WAS ONTO SOMETHING.
ON SOMETHING
IS MORE LIKE IT.
THOSE
WILDERNESS GIRLS
COOKIES
WAS LACED
WITH COCAINE!
NO WONDER I COULDN' EAT JUST ONE.
YORK LEFT ME A MESSAGE.
SHE'D UNCOVERED A
DRUG RUNNING OPERATION.
I THINK THAT'S WHA GOT HER KILLED.
YOU DON'T THINK
IT WAS THE BULLETS?
GIVE ME THE CASE.
YOU'RE DAYS
FROM RETIREMENT.
LET IT GO.
YORK WAS A PARTNER,
A FRIEND. I OWE HER.
I OWE IT TO EVERY COP
WHO'S WALKED A BEAT,
EVERY COP
WHO'S MADE A BUST,
WHO'S EVER LAID HIS LIFE
ON THE LINE!
I'M THE CAPTAIN HERE!
I DO ALL THE YELLING!
IF IT'S THA IMPORTANT TO YOU,
TAKE THE DAMN CASE!
THANK--
THANK YOU, CAPTAIN.
DON'T BE SO FAS TO THANK ME!
BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING
TO BE NAKED ON THIS ONE.
PEOPLE ARE GOING
TO BE WATCHING!
YOU SCREW UP, YOU'LL
BE HUNG OUT TO DRY!
YOU DROP THE BALL,
YOU'LL BE LEF TWISTING
IN THE WIND!
IF YOU EMBARRASS
THIS DEPARTMENT,
YOUR PANTS WILL BE
DANCING WITH FIGS!
IS THAT CLEAR?
EVERYTHING BU THE PANTS-FIG THING.
AND ONE OTHER THING--
NARCO'S SENDING OVER ONE
OF THEIR BURNED-OUT PSYCHOS
TO LOOK INTO
THE WILDERNESS GIRL COOKIES.
I'M TEAMING HIM WITH YOU.
CAPTAIN, YOU KNOW
I WORK ALONE.
YOU GET THE CASE,
YOU GET JACK COLT!
CIGARETTE!
CIGARETTE! HIT THE FLOOR!
HEY, BACK OFF!
EASY.
THAT'S LUGER'S
NEW PARTNER.
CAPTAIN, YOU CAN' SERIOUSLY BE THINKING
OF USING THIS MAN.
HE'S DANGEROUS, A MENACE.
A LOOSE CANNON.
A WALKING TIME BOMB.
MOST OF ALL,
HE IS GUN-HAPPY.
WHERE DO YOU GET OFF
SAYING THAT?
I GIVE UP.
THERE'S SOMEONE
YOU BETTER TALK TO
IF THIS CASE
INVOLVES COOKIES.
NOT HIM.
YEAH...
HIM.
YOU KNOW THE RULES.
DO NOT TOUCH THE GLASS.
DO NOT HAND HIM
ANY SHARP INSTRUMENTS,
POWER TOOLS,
SEWING MATERIALS,
OR CONDIMENTS.
MAKE SURE YOU STAY
TO THE LEF WHEN YOU WALK
DOWN THE HALL.
HE'S IN THE LAST CELL.
THE RIGHT! I MEAN STAY TO THE RIGHT!
AAH! GRRR!
[SQUEAK]
[MUMBLING]
WHAT?
[MUMBLING]
UN PAPA?
[MUMBLING]
IS IT A CODE?
AN OBSCURE
FOREIGN LANGUAGE?
AAH!
OUCH.
SO THIS IS
MR. "SCREW
WITH YOUR BRAIN,
"EAT YOUR SPLEEN,
WEAR YOUR FLESH
AS A HAIR NET"
LEACHER, HUH?
WELL, LOOK WHO'S
MR. SCAREDY PANTS
NOW.
AAH!
IDENTIFICATION, PLEASE.
CLOSER.
CLOSER.
PLEASE SIT.
DR. LEACHER, WE NEED
TO ASK YOU--
THERE'S SOMEONE
OUT THERE AGAIN,
ISN'T THERE?
A BAD BOY WITH PASTRIES.
YES.
[SNIFFING]
HAI KARATE. YOU WEAR THA SOMETIMES, DON'T YOU?
BUT NOT TODAY.
TODAY IT'S...
MENTHOLATED
DEEP-HEAT RUB.
YOU ORDER CHEF'S SALAD
WITH DRESSING ON THE SIDE.
YOU HAVE AN ATTRACTIVE WIFE
WITH PERKY BREASTS,
A 9-YEAR-OLD SON,
AND A 16-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER.
WHO TOLD YOU THAT?
I SAW THEIR PICTURE
IN YOUR WALLET.
WE CAME TO TALK
ABOUT COOKIES.
QUID PRO QUO,
MR. COLT.
WHAT'S
THAT MEAN?
IT MEANS I'M PRETENTIOUS.
TELL ME ABOUT THE WORST MEAL
YOU'VE EVER EATEN, MR. COLT.
QUICK!
UH, IT WAS
A FISH SANDWICH AT--
DON' TELL HIM ANYTHING.
CAN YOU HELP US?
YOU HOLD THE KEY,
MR. COLT.
LOOK INTO YOURSELF
FOR AN ANSWER
TO THE COOKIE CONCERN.
LOOK TO A MAN WITH WHOM
YOU WERE INVOLVED.
NO, NO. NOT HIM.
IT WAS IN VIETNAM.
NO, NO.
YOU DISAPPOINT ME,
MR. COLT.
IT WAS MORTARS.
GENERAL MORTARS.
W-WAIT A MINUTE.
I--I NEVER--
NOT THAT KIND
OF INVOLVEMENT.
OH.
YOU WERE
UNDER HIS COMMAND.
MORTARS WAS ONCE
MY PATIENT.
I TAUGHT HIM
TO EXPRESS HIS ANGER.
YOU TAUGHT HIM WELL.
QUITE.
AFTER OUR LAST SESSION,
HE STARTED THE VIETNAMESE WAR.
SEEK HIM OUT,
AND...WHEN YOU FIND HIM,
PLEASE...
I WOULD LOVE TO EA HIS COOKIES
WITH SOME FAVA BEANS
AND A NICE CHILLED FRESCA.
I JUS GOT TO ASK.
WHAT DOES
HUMAN FLESH
TASTE LIKE?
CHICKEN.
ARE WE GOING
TO SEE MORTARS?
FOLLOW THE LEAD
OF SOME PSYCHOTIC,
MIND-TWISTING,
JUMPSUIT-WEARING
SOCIOPATH?
FORGET IT.
I'VE ONLY GO 48 HOURS.
WRONG, SARGE.
47 HOURS,
29 MINUTES.
I'M LOOKING FOR THE MAN
THAT KILLED MY EX-PARTNER.
COME ON, SPUD.
SHE WAS GOING TO MEET SOME
STOOLIE AT SQUEALER'S HOTEL.
I DON'T NEED SOME
HOTSHOT COWBOY FROM--
DON'T FRY ME!
NOT VALIDATED.
VAL-I-DAT-ED.
I DON'T NEED SOME HOTSHO FROM NARCO IN MY WAY.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE
WHO'S LOST A PARTNER.
YOU GO ANYTHING SMALLER?
KEEP IT.
ANYTHING LARGER?
YEAH.
CLAIRE AND I
RODE TOGETHER
FOR SEVEN YEARS.
YORK AND I WERE
IN ACADEMY TOGETHER.
THEN WE PARTNERED
FOR FIVE YEARS.
BEFORE THAT, WE DODGED
THE DRAFT TOGETHER.
BEFORE THAT,
WE PLAYED HIGH SCHOOL
FOOTBALL TOGETHER.
BEFORE THAT, WE WERE
IN GRADE SCHOOL TOGETHER,
AND BEFORE THAT...
WE BREAST-FED TOGETHER.
WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR PARTNER?
I CAME HOME ONE NIGHT,
AND SHE WAS GONE.
YOU TWO
WERE LIVING TOGETHER?
SHE'D SLEEP AT MY FEE AND LICK MY TOES,
THOUGH SOMETIMES
SHE'D FORGET ABOUT ME
AND JUST LICK HERSELF
FOR HOURS.
PERSONALLY,
I DON'T THINK
IT'S A GOOD IDEA
TO GET THAT INVOLVED
WITH YOUR PARTNER.
YOU TRY
NOT GETTING INVOLVED
WITH A PARTNER
WHO SAVES YOUR LIFE
ONE MINUTE,
THEN NUZZLES
YOUR CROTCH THE NEXT.
BILLY AND I
WEREN'T LIKE THAT.
SHE LEFT THE FORCE
FIVE YEARS AGO.
WE DIDN' SEE EACH OTHER MUCH.
WHEN WE DID,
SHE WAS ALWAYS
EXCITED TO SEE ME.
WHEN CLAIRE WAS EXCITED,
SHE'D PEE ON MY LEG.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
HAPPENED?
MAYBE SHE JUS TOOK OFF.
I HADN'T BEEN PAYING
ENOUGH ATTENTION TO HER.
I REALIZED
HOW NEGLECTED SHE FEL THE NIGH SHE SHIT IN MY SHOES.
MY GUT TELLS ME
WE WERE GETTING
TOO CLOSE TO SOMEONE.
WHEN SHE DISAPPEARED,
I HAD A FEELING
WE WERE BEING FOLLOWED.
I THINK WE'RE
BEING FOLLOWED NOW.
DON'T LOOK.
JUST PLAY IT COOL.
SO, UH, DID YOU CATCH
THAT STALLONE RETROSPECTIVE
AT THE OMNI?
NO. SOUNDS
FASCINATING, THOUGH.
I'M GOING TO TRY
AND LOSE THEM.
NICE DRIVING.
THANKS.
YOU REALLY GOT ME GOING
YOU GOT ME SO I DON' KNOW WHAT I'M DOING
YOU
REALLY GOT ME NOW
YOU GOT ME SO
I CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT
OH, YEAH
YOU, YOU'VE REALLY
GOT ME NOW
YOU GOT ME SO I DON' KNOW WHAT I'M DOING
OH, YEAH
YOU REALLY GOT ME NOW
YOU GOT ME SO
I CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT
YOU
REALLY GOT ME
YOU REALLY GOT ME
YOU REALLY GOT ME
[SPITS]
DON'T EVER
SET ME FREE--
[GLASS SHATTERS]
WHAT THE HELL?
GENERAL.
HOW'S YOUR HEALTH,
MIKE?
FINE.
SEA MONKEYS?
PIRANHA.
THEIR LIVES EXUDE
A BEAUTIFUL SIMPLICITY--
SAVAGE, RUTHLESS,
EXISTING ONLY
TO DEVOUR AND DESTROY,
TO TASTE BLOOD,
TO REND FLESH.
SOUNDS LIKE ME, RIGHT?
HA HA HA HA!
IN ITS OWN ENVIRONMENT,
THE PIRANHA
IS A FEROCIOUS KILLER.
IN MINE,
JUST A HELPLESS LITTLE FISH.
THERE'S A LESSON
TO BE LEARNED FROM THAT,
DON'T YOU THINK?
MIKE...
[BLOW DRYER ON]
I HAVE A CONCERN
THAT YOU MIGH ALLEVIATE.
IT SEEMS
CERTAIN INFORMATION
WAS SHARED
WITH AN INDIVIDUAL
WHO MIGHT HAVE
JEOPARDIZED
THE COOKIE
OPERATION.
WHILE
THAT INDIVIDUAL
HAS BEEN ELIMINATED,
WE HAVE YE TO RECOVER
A VERY IMPORTAN ITEM.
WHERE'S
THE MICROFILM, MIKE?
I DON'T KNOW.
I GAVE IT TO YORK.
I THOUGHT SHE WAS
ONE OF YOUR MEN.
ACT IN HASTE,
REPENT IN LEISURE.
HE WHO HESITATES
IS LOST.
NEVER JUDGE A BOOK
BY ITS COVER.
WHAT YOU SEE
IS WHAT YOU GET.
LOOSE LIPS
SINK SHIPS.
LIFE IS VERY SHORT,
AND THERE'S NO TIME FOR
FUSSING AND FIGHTING
MY FRIEND.
SORRY, MIKE.
NO GOOD.
YOU'VE BEEN
CARELESS,
SLOPPY.
WE JUS CAN'T HAVE THAT.
WHERE'S
THE MICROFILM, MIKE?
[CRYING]
[GUNSHOTS]
[SCREAMING]
DOES THIS HAVE
ANYTHING TO DO
WITH
THE BILLY YORK
KILLING?
NAH. DOMESTIC
DISPUTE.
O.K., I'M GOING TO TRY
AND TALK THEM OUT.
HOLD YOUR FIRE
UNTIL I GIVE THE ORDER.
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
CAN I HAVE ONE THAT'S MADE
IN AMERICA, PLEASE?
YOU UP THERE.
I ORDER YOU
TO THROW YOUR HANDS DOWN
AND COME OU WITH YOUR WEAPONS UP.
WHO FIRED THAT SHOT?
SERGEANT...
THAT--THAT WAS ME
THAT--
GIVE ME THE GUN.
I WAS JUST--
GIVE ME THE GUN.
WHEN YOU LEARN
TO FOLLOW ORDERS,
YOU CAN HAVE IT BACK.
OH, SO WE THINK
THAT'S FUNNY, DO WE,
OFFICER...DAVIS?
WELL, WE'D ALL
LIKE TO KNOW
WHAT'S SO FUNNY.
MAYBE OFFICER DAVIS
CAN MAKE US
ALL LAUGH.
NICE TO SEE ALL THOSE
SMILING FACES OUT THERE.
WHAT DO YOU CALL 2,000 LAWYERS
AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA?
A GOOD START.
SAY, WHY'D THE GUY GIVE
A NAME TO HIS PENIS?
HE DIDN'T WAN A STRANGER MAKING
MOST OF HIS DECISIONS.
THANKS A LOT.
YOU'VE BEEN GREAT.
MAKE SURE HE DOESN' GET ANY DOUGHNUTS.
YOU COULD HAVE GONE
A LITTLE LIGHTER
ON THE GUYS.
THAT'S HOW IT STARTS,
COLT.
YOU LIGHTEN UP,
NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
ALL THE RULES
ARE OUT THE WINDOW.
TIGHT ASS.
YOU SAY SOMETHING?
UH-UH.
PENCILNECK.
BUTTHEAD.
WHAT IS I WITH YOU GUYS?
I RUN
A RESPECTABLE PLACE.
WHAT ARE YOU
ROUSTING ME FOR?
I GOT FRIENDS DOWNTOWN.
I DON'T KNOW WHA YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
WE HAVEN'T SAID
ANYTHING YET.
I GOT NOTHING TO SAY.
PARK THE TONGUE,
BUDDY.
I'M SERGEANT COLT.
THIS IS
SERGEANT LUGER.
YOU KNOW A WOMAN
BY THE NAME OF BILLY YORK?
YOU GOT A PICTURE?
OH. AHEM. HERE WE GO.
THAT HER?
NO. THAT'S HER PICTURE.
NOPE. DON'T KNOW HER.
WELL, MAYBE THIS
WILL REFRESH YOUR MEMORY.
I DON'T KNOW.
SHE'S A LITTLE
OUT OF FOCUS.
[GUNSHOT]
[SCREAMING]
AAH!
AAH!
IS THIS THE BILLY YORK
INFORMANT SHOOTOUT?
I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST GOT HERE.
WAIT A SECOND.
HEY, LARRY.
LARRY!
IS THIS
THE BILLY YORK
INFORMANT SHOOTOUT?
I DON'T KNOW.
CHECK OUT THE THIRD FLOOR.
THANKS.
BEAT IT.
THIS IS AN FBI CASE.
ALL RIGHT,
BRING HIM ON OUT.
IS HE THE BILLY YORK
INFORMANT?
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER,
WILL YOU?
THAT'S BECKER, 403.
HEY, YOU!
NOT SO FAST.
THAT'S BETTER.
NOPE.
I'LL HANDLE THIS.
ALL RIGHT, BECKER,
OPEN UP! POLICE!
[MACHINE GUN FIRE]
NOW THAT WE'VE
TRIED IT YOUR WAY,
LET'S TRY MINE.
WHO IS IT?
ROOM SERVICE.
OH.
WHAT?
I DON'T KNOW NOTHIN'.
I DIDN'T SEE NOTHIN'.
I AIN'T SAYING NOTHIN'.
NOTHING,
THE WORD IS NOTHING.
THERE'S AN I-N-G
ON THE END OF IT.
NOTHING.
O.K. NOTHING.
NOTHING.
NOTHING!
O.K., YOU HAPPY?
THAT'S BETTER.
THAT'S NOT WHA YOU TOLD YORK.
I--I DON'T KNOW
NO YORK,
AND WHERE'S
MY FOOD?
WE ATE IT, AND PLEASE,
NO DOUBLE NEGATIVES.
SORRY.
I DON'T KNOW
ANY YORK.
YOU DON'T KNOW ANY YORK?
[TOILET FLUSHES]
THESE MATCHES
SAY YOU'RE LYING.
OH...YORK.
SHE WAS SUPPOSED
TO MEET YOU HERE
THE NIGHT SHE DIED.
WHY?
IT'S WHERE I LIVE.
YEAH, BUT WHY YOU?
THE OTHER GUY
COULDN'T COME UP
WITH THE DEPOSIT.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT A PIECE
OF MICROFILM?
IT'S SMALL
AND BRITTLE,
AND IT'S USED IN
A LOT OF BOND FILMS.
[BUZZER]
ALL RIGHT,
I DID SOME MONEY LAUNDERING
FOR YOUR STANDARD
EX-MILITARY PSYCHO TYPES.
GIVE ME A NAME.
WEREN'T YOUR PARENTS
SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?
WHO ARE YOU WORKING WITH?
THERE'S BEEN THREE ATTEMPTS
ON MY LIFE.
COME WITH US.
THERE WON'T BE
ANY SUCCESSFUL ONES.
THIS THING IS BIG.
IT'S REALLY BIG.
IT'S BIGGER THAN WATERGATE.
IT'S BIGGER THAN OPRAH.
THERE'S NOTHING
YOU CAN DO.
THEY'RE TOO STRONG
AND POWERFUL,
AND THEY'RE TOO...
JE NE SAIS QUOI.
WE CAN PROTECT YOU.
[MACHINE GUN FIRE]
THE COMMEDIA E FINI.
GUESS THAT'S
THE LAST TIME
HE'LL TRUST A COP.
GIVE IT TO ME STRAIGHT.
IS THIS IT,
THE BIG CHECKOUT?
LEVEL WITH ME.
HOW BAD IS IT?
IT'S NOT BAD.
YOU'LL BE FINE.
YOU'LL BE BACK
ON YOUR FEE IN NO TIME.
YOUR TICKET.
DON'T BURY ME.
I'LL ONLY BE A MINUTE.
YES, SIR.
CLOSER TOGETHER.
O.K., BIG SMILE.
BEAUTIFUL.
BEAUTIFUL.
SHE BOUGHT I RIGHT AWAY.
THOSE TWO TRIED
TO MAKE A GETAWAY.
THEY GAVE ME
A NEW PARTNER, TOO.
[WOOF WOOF]
THIS IS SPORT.
SHE LIKES YOU.
I'VE DONE WORSE.
WHAT ARE
WE LOOKING AT?
A MIXED BREED--
ROTTWEILER AND CHIHUAHUA.
THEY MUST HAVE
USED A LUBRICANT.
I'M TALKING
ABOUT THE CASE.
SEEING SPOR MAKES ME THINK
I COULD LOVE AGAIN.
WHAT DO
YOU HAVE, IRV?
I'M NOT SURE, SARGE.
IT'S A NAGGING, ITCHING,
BURNING SENSATION.
WHAT THE HELL
DO YOU EXPECT?
YOUR FOOT'S ON FIRE.
HEY, WHAT YOU GOT,
SARGE?
I DON'T KNOW.
NOTHING SOLID.
YOU GO ANY THEORIES?
UH, E EQUALS
MC SQUARED.
ANYTHING
OF YOUR OWN?
NO.
BUT I'LL TELL YOU,
SARGE.
SOMETHING JUS DOESN'T ADD UP.
WHAT?
MY WIFE AND I
HAVEN'T HAD SEX
FOR TWO YEARS.
I HAVE
A 6-MONTH-OLD DAUGHTER.
IRV, YOU'RE GETTING
TOO SUSPICIOUS.
THIS JOB WILL
DO THAT TO YOU.
YOU'RE RIGHT, SARGE.
THANKS.
HEY, BUDDY, COME
GIVE ME A HAND?
I DON'T KNOW.
THIS MAY LOOK
LIKE A SUICIDE,
BUT MY GUT TELLS ME
THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE
GOING ON HERE.
UHH! UHH! AAH!
HEY, UH, WEREN' THERE FIVE STIFFS?
DAMN!
McCRACKEN'S MISSING.
HEY! HEY, HAS ANYONE
SEEN McCRACKEN'S BODY?
I NEED A LITTLE
HELP HERE.
HE DIDN' JUST GET UP
AND WALK AWAY!
I GOT SOMETHING
IMPORTANT TO SHOW YOU.
SO, WHAT'S
THE BIG NEWS?
YOU SEE THIS?
THIS RING WAS GIVEN OU TO A CIA FRONT IN 'NAM
RUN BY GENERAL MORTARS.
WHEN THE VC TRIED
FINANCING THE WAR
WITH COCAINE,
THEY WENT IN
AND BURNED IT.
12 YEARS LATER,
AFTER SOBERING UP,
GENERAL MORTARS WEN INTO THE DRUG BUSINESS.
I COULD
NEVER PROVE IT.
YOU TOOK EVIDENCE
FROM THE SCENE OF
A CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION?
YOU WANT TO CRACK
THIS CASE OR NOT?
NOT BY MAKING UP
THE RULES AS I GO.
SOMETIMES, PAL,
THOSE ARE THE ONLY
RULES THAT WORK.
GOOD THING WE USED
VALET PARKING.
TAXI!
I GUESS WE'RE MAKING
SOMEBODY NERVOUS.
IT'S GOING TO TAKE
MORE THAN A COUPLE
OF CAR BOMBS
TO GET US
OFF THIS CASE.
NOT A HELL
OF A LOT MORE.
HEY, LUGER, DON' WORRY ABOUT ALL
THIS BOMB STUFF.
HAPPENS TO ME
ALL THE TIME.
I'M NOT WORRIED
ABOUT BOMBS.
I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OU WHAT TO TELL MY WIFE
ABOUT HER CAR.
UNDERSTAND, GENTLEMEN,
IF YOU WISH TO
DO BUSINESS WITH US,
YOU MUST TAKE
THE ENTIRE SHIPMENT.
TEST THE MERCHANDISE.
HALF THE PAYMENT NOW,
HALF TOMORROW,
HALF ON DELIVERY.
THE PRICE IS
NOT NEGOTIABLE.
THE MERCHANDISE
IS SATISFACTORY, YES?
GOOD. THEN WE
CAN DO BUSINESS.
USE THE VISTA CARD. YOU
GET FREQUENT FLYER MILES.
THE SHIPMENT WILL
BE PREPARED AND BOXED
FRIDAY EVENING
AND READY FOR SHIPPING
SATURDAY MORNING.
I NEED A SIGNATURE
AND DAYTIME
PHONE NUMBER.
IT'S A PLEASURE DOING
BUSINESS WITH YOU.
NOT SO FAST.
THE CARBONS?
OH...SMART MAN.
I LIKE DOING BUSINESS
WITH SMART MEN.
THEY KNOW NEVER
TO SCREW WITH ME.
THERE'S SOMETHING
BETWEEN YOU AND
THIS GENERAL MORTARS.
HE WAS MY C.O. IN 'NAM.
THE CIA LISTED HIM
AS MIA,
BUT THE V.A.
I.D.'d HIS M.O.,
AND WE PUT OUT AN APB.
OH, I SEE.
MAY I HELP YOU?
IT CAN'T BE.
NOT MARY O'BRIEN,
THE BUCKTOOTHED,
FRECKLE-FACED,
PIGTAILED LITTLE GIRL
I KNEW IN THE FIFTH GRADE?
NO, I'M NOT.
MAY I HELP YOU?
I'M SERGEANT LUGER.
THIS IS SERGEANT COLT.
THESE ARE OUR WALLETS.
METROPOLITAN POLICE.
[MAN]
AAH!
WE'D LIKE TO SPEAK
TO WHOMEVER'S IN CHARGE.
FOLLOW ME.
UHH!
MISS DEMEANOR WILL
BE RIGHT WITH YOU,
GENTLEMEN.
HELP YOURSELF
TO SOME COOKIES.
LET ME DO THE TALKING.
I'VE EATEN THEIR
COOKIES.
YOU'RE THE BOSS.
DETECTIVES
COLT AND LOSER?
LUGER.
OH, SORRY. LOOGIE.
MMM.
UH, WHY DON'T YOU
MAKE YOURSELVES AT HOME?
NO, I MEANT WHY
DON'T YOU SIT DOWN
AND TELL ME
WHAT YOU WANT?
CAN I GET EITHER OF YOU
SOMETHING TO DRINK?
UH, JUST WATER.
NO, THANKS.
WE'RE INVESTIGATING
A FELONY, MISS DEMEANOR.
OH, SOUNDS VIOLENT.
I HATE VIOLENCE.
[GRUNTING]
ANYONE FOR SNOW CONES?
THANKS.
DURING THE COURSE OF
INVESTIGATING TWO HOMICIDES,
WE FOUND BOXES OF
WILDERNESS GIRL COOKIES.
THEY WERE
LACED WITH COCAINE.
OH, MY.
THAT'S HORRIBLE.
BUT SURELY YOU CAN' SUSPECT THE WILDERNESS GIRLS
OF SOMEHOW
BEING RESPONSIBLE?
I CAN.
I'D LIKE FOR YOU
TO COME DOWNTOWN
AND ANSWER
A FEW QUESTIONS.
O.K.
THIS IS DOWNTOWN.
HEADQUARTERS.
YOU CAN HAVE YOUR
ATTORNEY PRESENT.
WHY WOULD I
NEED MY ATTORNEY?
[KISSING]
[HISSING]
MAY I CHANGE
BEFORE I GO?
SURE.
YOU SHOULD ALWAYS
WEAR YOUR HAIR DOWN.
FOR YOU,
I ALWAYS WILL.
LOOK, LADY,
YOU MAY THINK
YOU CAN DIVERT OUR
ATTENTION FROM THIS CASE,
BUT YOU'RE WRONG.
WE SEE THROUGH
YOUR TRICKS.
NOW, MOVE IT.
DO YOU RUN
THE WILDERNESS GIRLS?
YES.
IS YOUR MONEY RAISED
SELLING COOKIES?
YES.
DO YOU KNOW
GENERAL MORTARS?
WELL, I DRIVE A BUICK.
NO, THAT'S
GENERAL MORTARS.
GENERAL MOR-TARS.
NO.
ONE DOWN,
NINE TO GO.
HEY, HOW YOU DOING?
DON'T MIND ME.
KEEP DOING
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
WE'RE A TEAM.
WE WORK TOGETHER.
HONEY, NICE OUTFIT.
POINTS OUT ALL
THE TOURIST ATTRACTIONS.
DIDN'T YOU DIE?
I THOUGHT THIS
WAS THE SEQUEL.
MISS DEMEANOR, THIS ISN' A GOOD TIME TO LIE.
WHEN IS?
I DON'T KNOW THE MEANING
OF THE WORD LIE.
WHO LAST BATTED
OVER .400?
TED WILLIAMS.
WHAT DID CHER SEE IN SONNY?
DID OSWALD
ACT ALONE?
YOU NEED HELP
SHAVING YOUR LEGS?
SHOW A LITTLE RESPECT.
HOW MANY MEN HAVE YOU
SLEPT WITH?
AWW!
OHH!
FIVE...MAYBE SIX.
NOT A LOT FOR
THIS DAY AND AGE.
IT'S BEEN
A SLOW WEEK.
DO YOU KNOW BILL YORK?
WHO CARES? DO YOU
SLEEP IN THE NUDE?
ONLY WHEN I'M NAKED.
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOU THE DESIGNATED HITTER RULE?
I HATE IT.
IT UNDERMINES
THE PURITY OF THE GAME.
I LIKE PURE THINGS.
THEY GIVE ME PLEASURE.
Here we go!
ALL RIGHT!
[WOOF WHISTLE]
YES! YES!
OHH!
AAH!
OW!
WE'VE DETAINED
MISS DEMEANOR LONG ENOUGH.
UH, YOU CAN GO NOW.
SORRY TO
HAVE TROUBLED YOU.
NO TROUBLE, DETECTIVE.
BUT I'M GOING TO NEED
TRANSPORTATION HOME.
ANYBODY WAN TO GIVE ME A RIDE?
PICK ME!
PICK ME!
BACK OFF!
IF I WERE YOU,
I WOULDN'T LEAVE TOWN.
OH, I WON'T.
I LIVE HERE.
SORRY IF IT WAS
A LITTLE ROUGH ON YOU.
YOU'RE JUS DOING YOUR JOB.
AND I'M JUST A GAL
LIKE ANY OTHER GAL.
I WANT A HOME, A FAMILY,
AN OCCASIONAL SPANKING.
I USED A ROLLED UP
NEWSPAPER TO SPANK
CLAIRE ONCE.
THANKS FOR
BRINGING ME BACK.
IT WAS NICE
MEETING YOU.
NICE MEETING YOU, TOO.
I HOPE IT WAS
A SUCCESSFUL
PERFORMANCE.
YEAH.
GOOD. WE MAY HAVE
STUMBLED
ON THE MICROFILM'S
WHEREABOUTS.
MR. JIGSAW, USE
YOUR POWERS OF PERSUASION
AND SEE IF SERGEANT YORK
LEFT OUR TWO POLICE
FRIENDS A MEMENTO.
THEY'RE NOT ONTO YOU.
NO MORE INNOCENT PEOPLE
HAVE TO SUFFER.
YOU'RE LETTING
COMPASSION INTRUDE.
IT'S
AN UNBECOMING TRAIT.
DROP YOUR GUN,
MR. COLT.
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
I AM YOUR
WORST NIGHTMARE.
NO. WAKING UP WITHOUT MY
PENIS IS MY WORST NIGHTMARE.
O.K.
ALL RIGHT.
SO I'M NOT YOUR
WORST NIGHTMARE,
BUT I'M RIGH UP THERE.
NOW...
WHERE IS
THE MICROFILM?
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
DROP YOUR GUN,
MR. LUGER!
I DON'T HAVE ONE.
YOU'RE
NOT CARRYING
A WEAPON?
DON'T BELIEVE IN THEM.
PICK UP THE GUN.
DROP THE GUN,
MR. LUGER!
DON'T DO IT.
DROP THE GUN, OR I'LL
SHOOT YOUR PARTNER.
HE'S GOING TO
SHOOT ME ANYWAY.
IF YOU DROP IT,
WE'RE BOTH DEAD.
WES, SHOOT HIM.
SHOOT HIM!
SHOOT HIM!
SHOOT HIM!
SHOOT HIM!
SHOOT HIM!
SHOOT HIM!
SHOOT HIM!
SHOOT HIM!
SHOOT HIM!
SHOOT HIM!
SHOOT HIM!
SHOOT HIM!
SHOOT HIM!
DROP THE GUN!
DROP THE GUN!
GET THE CAR!
FREEZE!
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[HORN HONKS]
DAMN.
SO YOU LET HIM
GET AWAY, HUH?
HE'S GONE, COLT.
LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU
COME HOME WITH ME
SO YOU CAN
SEE HOW A WARM
FAMILY ENVIRONMEN CAN OFFER SO MUCH MORE
THAN YOUR HOLLOW,
HATE-FILLED EXISTENCE?
MAYBE SOME OTHER TIME.
SERGEANT COLT,
METROPOLITAN
POLICE DEPARTMENT.
THIS IS SERGEANT LUGER.
WE'RE COMMANDEERING
YOUR VEHICLES.
WAIT A MINUTE.
WE'RE COMMANDEERING
KIDS' BIKES?
YEAH.
THAT'S DISGUSTING.
OH, I'M GETTING
TOO OLD FOR THIS
BIKE-CONFISCATING SHIT.
DON'T WORRY, KIDS,
WE'LL TAKE GOOD CARE
OF YOUR BIKES.
AAH!
AAH!
I CAN'T IMAGINE
WHERE DORIS IS.
SHE ALWAYS LIKES TO
CHECK OUT MY NEW PARTNERS.
YOU FORGOT, DADDY.
THIS IS MOM'S "BOWLING
WITH THE TEAMSTERS" NIGHT.
OH, YEAH, RIGHT.
SO, BEN, DAD
HELP YOU WITH
YOUR HOMEWORK?
NAH. I DON' WANT TO REPEA THE FIFTH GRADE AGAIN.
SO, DEBBIE, UH, HOW
DO YOU LIKE SCHOOL?
HOW DO YOU THINK
I LIKE IT? IT SUCKS.
OH, HERE'S DORIS NOW.
HON, HON.
I WANT YOU TO MEET MY
NEW PARTNER JACK COLT.
CHARMED, I'M SURE.
UM, THIS IS
TED POLANSKI.
TED'S
A PRODUCE MANAGER.
ASSISTAN PRODUCE MANAGER.
MR. BRUBAKER'S
THE MANAGER.
TED'S BEEN
VERY HELPFUL WITH
MY PRODUCE SELECTIONS.
I THOUGH I SHOULD EXTEND HIM
A SPECIAL COURTESY.
[WHIMPERS]
I SHOULD BE GOING.
STAY FOR COFFEE.
COFFEE, TED?
TED'S FROM
A DYSFUNCTIONAL
FAMILY.
OH. SO, NO COFFEE?
I THOUGH HE SHOULD SPEND
SOME TIME WITH US.
I WAS EVEN THINKING
ABOUT TAKING
HIM TO MOTHER'S
FOR THE WEEKEND.
DEAR, I KNOW YOU'RE
TRYING TO BLOCK OU THE MEMORY,
BUT COME ON, NOW,
YOUR MOM'S BEEN DEAD
FOR OVER SIX MONTHS.
UH-OH.
DID I FORGET TO
GIVE YOU THAT MESSAGE?
AAH!
I'LL PASS ON COFFEE.
DID I COME
AT A BAD TIME?
YOU SHOULD
BE MORE CAREFUL.
I MIGHT HAVE BLASTED OFF
YOUR EYE SHADOW.
SO, WHAT'S WITH
ALL THE CANDLES?
I COULDN'T FIND
THE LIGHT SWITCH.
YOU HAVE
AN INTERESTING PLACE.
IT'S MUCH BIGGER THAN
IT LOOKS FROM THE OUTSIDE.
I CHOSE LIGHT COLORS
TO MAKE IT LOOK BIGGER.
SO WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?
WAITING FOR YOU.
I MEAN, WHA BROUGHT YOU HERE?
A TAXI.
BUT WHY?
MY CAR'S
IN THE SHOP.
THE POLICE STATION
WOULD HAVE MADE ME NERVOUS.
YOU BETTER GO.
YOU'RE NOT EVEN
GOING TO ASK WHY
I TRACKED YOU DOWN?
O.K., WHY DID YOU
TRACK ME DOWN?
I WASN'T TOTALLY
HONEST WITH YOU
AND DETECTIVE LOOGIE.
NO ONE EVER IS.
I CAN'T LIVE
WITH IT ANYMORE.
I KNOW WHO'S RESPONSIBLE
FOR THOSE COOKIES.
IT'S A MAN I FELL FOR,
A MAN WHO USED ME
AND BETRAYED ME--
GENERAL MORTARS.
WHY ARE YOU
TELLING ME ALL THIS?
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
HE'S USING THE WILDERNESS
GIRLS OF AMERICA
TO SELL COCAINE.
HE CAN SHIP
THEM ANYWHERE.
EVERYONE TRUSTS
A WILDERNESS GIRL COOKIE!
OH, MY.
I FEEL AS THOUGH
AN INCREDIBLE WEIGH HAS BEEN...
LIFTED OFF MY CHEST.
CAN YOU FEEL IT?
YES, I CAN.
ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?
UH, YES.
AND THERE'S MORE.
MORE?
YES.
TOMORROW AT MIDNIGHT,
A BIG DRUG DEAL
AT THE WILDERNESS GIRL
COOKIE FACTORY.
YOU AND LOOGIE
MUST STOP IT.
BUT NOT UNTIL AFTER.
AFTER WHAT?
RELAX, COLT.
I'LL TALK YOU
THROUGH IT.
SQUEEZE ME.
SQUEEZE ME LIKE
I WAS AN S&W .747
DOUBLE-ACTION MAGNUM
WITH AN EXTENDED
CHROME 8-INCH BARREL
JUST BEGGING
FOR A FEW SQUIRTS
OF GUN OIL.
IS THIS A COME-ON?
SHH!
BLOW IN MY EAR
LIKE YOU WERE BLOWING
AWAY THE METALLIC
BLUE DISCHARGE
WAFTING FROM YOUR BARREL
AFTER YOU'VE SPEN YOUR FULL LOAD.
OUCH!
WHAT?
PAINFUL CUTICLE.
YOU THINK
THAT'S PAINFUL?
RAZOR BURN.
RETAINING WATER.
NICKEL BEER NIGHT--
DODGER STADIUM.
THESE? VIETNAM?
PAROCHIAL SCHOOL.
GRENADE.
RIOT AT A
LOVE CONNECTION TAPING.
THAT'S NOTHING.
THE PLATE IN MY HEAD?
ELECTIVE SURGERY.
I WAS A FOOL.
TRY THIS.
LOW-BUDGE ORGAN TRANSPLANT.
COLT...
ENOUGH FOREPLAY.
WE WERE MADE
FOR EACH OTHER.
IT WAS MAGIC, COLT.
[SNIFFLES]
I GUESS
YOU'RE CRYING BECAUSE
YOU KNOW IT'S WRONG
TO GET MIXED UP
WITH A GUY LIKE ME,
A GUY WHO
LIVES ON THE EDGE
AND PLAYS BY
HIS OWN RULES.
THAT CAN ONLY SPELL
HEARTACHE AND LONELINESS
FOR A WOMAN LIKE YOU.
NO. I'M CRYING
BECAUSE NOW THA WE'VE HAD THESE MOMENTS
AND I'M SO FRIENDLY
WITH THE VILLAIN,
I KNOW I'M GOING TO DIE.
WELL, SOME THINGS
ARE WORTH DYING FOR.
COLT,
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
NOWHERE.
I'M JUST TAKING
ONE OF THOSE
UNMOTIVATED
BUTT-IN-THE MOONBEAM
WALKS.
DO YOU HEAR SOMETHING?
NAH!
WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?
UH, IS THIS, UH,
1014 PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY?
HUH?
1014 PACIFIC COAS HIGHWAY?
NO! THIS IS 814
PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY!
1014 IS TWO BLOCKS
UP THAT WAY!
SORRY. MY MISTAKE.
YEAH!
NO PROBLEM!
NO PROBLEM!
COLT, LOOK!
IT'S MORTARS.
I KNOW IT.
I'M GETTING
THE HELL OUT OF HERE.
OUCH! OOH!
THAT'S MINE!
GIVE ME THAT.
TAKE CARE, BABE.
COLT.
NEXT TIME, INSTEAD
OF JUST SMOKING
CIGARETTES IN BED,
DO YOU THINK
WE COULD ACTUALLY
MAKE LOVE?
YEAH, MAYBE.
COLT, PLEASE.
I WANT YOU.
I'M BURNING FOR YOU.
I'M ON FIRE.
AND I'M LATE.
IT'LL ONLY
TAKE A MINUTE.
WHO TOLD YOU THAT?
DON'T YOU FIND ME
DESIRABLE?
SURE.
BUT I GOT A PARTNER
TO WARN.
[WHISTLING
POPEYE THE SAILOR MAN]
GA GA GA GA GA!
STICK 'EM UP,
SAILOR!
GET YOUR HANDS
OFF ME!
[TICKING]
LUGER!
[CLICK]
YOU CRAZY?
NOT THAT ONE.
WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I'M SAVING YOUR LIFE.
LOOK, IT'S ALWAYS
THE GREEN ONE.
YEAH...
BUT--BU THAT ONE'S ORANGE.
WHO ASKED YOU ANYWAY?
HEY, HEY, HEY, COLT.
DID YOU SEE
HOT SHOTS?
AHEM. NOT THA I'M DRAWING
ANY PARALLELS HERE,
BUT DON'T YOU
THINK IT'S KIND
OF COINCIDENCE,
YOU KNOW,
IT'S KIND OF WEIRD
THAT, LIKE,
YOU'RE DOING THIS,
AND IN HOT SHOTS--
ALL RIGHT, BECKER,
THAT'S IT.
THIS ONE'S GO YOUR NAME WRITTEN
ALL OVER IT!
OH, NO! NO! AAH!
[TICKING FASTER]
OOPS.
ERRR...
ER!
LUGER!
WHERE ARE YOU?
LUGER!
IN HERE.
WHAT'S WRONG?
NOTHING.
TAKING A SHIT.
[TOILET FLUSHES]
SORRY.
BUST AT A COOKIE FACTORY?
I DON'T KNOW.
CAN YOU TRUST HER?
YEAH.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
YOU KISSED HER?
WELL, SORT OF.
FRENCH?
GIVE HER A HICKEY?
SHAVED HER BACK?
HANDLED HER HOOTERS?
YOU PARKED
HER PINK CADILLAC?
NOPE.
WELL, WHAT CAN YOU
POSSIBLY KNOW ABOUT HER?
WE WEAR
THE SAME SIZE PUMPS.
ARE YOU ONE OF
THOSE MACHO GUYS
WHO HATES WOMEN?
IF I TELL YOU
SOMETHING,
DO YOU PROMISE
IT'LL JUST STAY
BETWEEN US?
YOUR SECRET'S SAFE
WITH ME, COLT.
WHATEVER YOU TELL ME
DOESN'T LEAVE THIS CAR.
YOU HAVE MY WORD.
MY MOTHER NEVER
BREAST-FED ME.
SHE'D TEASE ME
WITH I AND THEN GIVE ME
THE BOTTLE.
IT WENT ON
FOR YEARS.
LUFTHANSA ANNOUNCES--
[COLT]
BY THE TIME I HIT 13,
I DEVELOPED
A LOVE-HATE THING
WITH BREASTS
AND A DISTRUS OF ALL WOMEN.
I JUST DON' UNDERSTAND THEM.
[LUGER]
I BREAST-FED
TILL I WAS 16
AND STILL DON' UNDERSTAND WOMEN.
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
WHILE WE'RE SHARING
SO OPENLY HERE,
I WANT TO TELL YOU
I APPRECIATE YOU COMING
TO WARN ME LIKE THAT.
MOST PEOPLE I KNOW
WOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT.
WELL, THAT'S
THE ADVANTAGE OF WORKING
WITH STRANGERS.
YOU'RE TELLING ME
A GUY DRESSED LIKE
A WILDERNESS GIRL
WITH A GERMAN ACCENT--
AUSTRIAN?
AUSTRIAN. YEAH.
AUSTRIAN ACCENT.
KILLED YORK AND TRIED
TO KILL YOU, TOO,
AND THAT TONIGH THERE'S A DRUG DEAL
AT THE COOKIE FACTORY?
I KNOW
IT SOUNDS CRAZY,
CAPTAIN, BUT--
IT IS CRAZY!
CONSIDER
THIS INVESTIGATION CLOSED!
WELL, IT WAS NICE
ALMOST WORKING WITH YOU.
WAIT A MINUTE.
WE CAN'T QUIT NOW.
WE'VE COME TOO FAR.
YOU HEARD THE CAPTAIN.
WE'RE OFF THE CASE.
YOU'RE MORE HUNG UP
ON GOING BY THE BOOK
THAN SOLVING
THIS CASE.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
[TRUCK ENGINE REVVING]
[HORN HONKING]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[CRASH]
OH, NO.
AM I FAILING TO FOLLOW
THE SAFETY GUARD'S MANUAL?
LOOK WHAT I'VE DONE.
I'M TO BLAME.
I DIDN'T GO BY THE RULES.
IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
FROM THIS DAY FORWARD,
I WILL ALWAYS GO
BY THE BOOK.
YOU WERE
A CROSSING GUARD?
YOU GUYS
WERE ALL GEEKS.
AND WHAT'S
YOUR PROBLEM?
YOU GOT SOME KIND
OF DEATH WISH?
IF HE ONLY KNEW.
IT WAS CLAIRE
WHO LIVED LIFE
ON THE EDGE.
IT'S HARD FOR YOU TO
UNDERSTAND, LUGER.
YOU GOT A FAMILY.
ALL I GOT IS
REVENGE.
I'LL NAIL MORTARS
FOR THE YORK AND
McCRACKEN KILLINGS.
YOU MAY BE HEADED
IN THE RIGH DIRECTION, COLT,
BUT YOU'RE DOING
ALL THE WRONG THINGS
TO GET THERE.
OH, REALLY,
MR. PERFECT?
WELL, AREN' WE FORGETTING
SOMETHING?
[RATTLING]
I THOUGHT MAYBE
I WAS GETTING
THROUGH TO YOU.
SOMETIMES
YOU CAN'T PLAY
BY THE RULES.
WELL, I'M GOING
AFTER MORTARS,
ALONE AND BY MYSELF.
[GUNFIRE]
"WHAT RUSSIAN NOVEL
"EMBRACING
MORE THAN 500 CHARACTERS
IS SE IN THE NAPOLEONIC WARS?"
WAR AND PEACE.
[SPEAKING GERMAN]
[CLICK]
I HAVE BEEN WAITING
FOR THIS MOMENT, MR. COLT.
WOOAAH!
AAH!
THIS HAS GONE
FAR ENOUGH.
FIRST YOU USE
MY AFFECTION,
THEN YOU USE ME
TO SELL DRUGS
THROUGH THE
WILDERNESS GIRLS.
WHAT KIND OF A MAN
ARE YOU?
A USER.
I KNEW THAT WHEN YOU
MADE ME PARADE AROUND
IN THAT LEATHER
DEMI-CUP UNDERWIRE BRA
WITH MATCHING PANTIES
AND GARTER BELT.
THE BRA
WITH METAL STUDS?
THAT'S THE RED ONE.
I MEAN THE BLACK SE WITH GOLD THREAD
PIPING.
ALWAYS LOVED THAT ONE.
I HATE IT.
MOST OF ALL,
I HATE THE FAC YOU MADE ME
LURE COLT,
THE MAN I LOVE.
"THE MAN..."
DON'T BE FOOLISH.
ALL RIGHT, GENERAL,
PLAYTIME'S OVER.
COLT!
DESTINY, I WAS MOVED
BY WHAT YOU SAID.
I MEANT IT, COLT.
I LOVE YOU.
I MEAN THE STUFF
ABOUT THAT BLACK
LEATHER OUTFIT.
OH.
ALL RIGHT, GENERAL,
YOUR COOKIE'S CRUMBLED.
PERHAPS YOU SHOULD
TAKE A LOOK
AT THIS FIRST.
CLAIRE!
[WHIMPERING]
LET HER GO, GENERAL.
YEAH. L-L-LET HER GO
AND KEEP ME.
NO.
O.K.
KEEP HER
AND LET ME GO.
KEEP EVERYBODY
BUT ME.
WHY SHOULD I LISTEN
TO ANY OF YOU?
BECAUSE
YOU WANT THIS.
OOH.
I UNDERESTIMATED YOU, SON.
[CLICK]
THANK YOU.
I'LL TAKE THAT.
ALL RIGHT, MR. COLT...
THE GAME IS UP.
PUT YOUR WEAPON DOWN.
PUT DOWN YOURS,
GENERAL.
YOU WON'T SHOOT ME,
ANGEL BUNS.
YOU HAVEN'T GOT THE...
GUTS!
AAH!
HYAH!
WOOH-WAH!
HOLD IT!
O.K.
OH!
COLT, LOOK OUT! AAH!
COLT, I'M COLD.
I'M SO COLD.
THANKS.
[HACKING]
[COUGHING]
KISS ME.
[COUGHING]
[HACKING]
MAY NOT BE
A GOOD IDEA.
I GOT A TOUCH
OF THE FLU.
PLEASE, COLT.
[COUGHING]
[GAGGING]
GET MORTARS
FOR ME, COLT.
GIVE IT UP, MORTARS!
YOU'RE ONLY
MAKING THINGS WORSE.
IT'S OVER.
THE JIG IS UP.
THE RUBICON IS CROSSED.
[CLICK]
GETTING SLOPPY,
SON.
WELL, IT WAS
STILL SOUND ADVICE.
DROP THE GUN,
GENERAL.
LUGER. YOU CAME.
That's personal.
BUT WHAT'S IMPORTAN IS I'M HERE.
SHOOT HIM, PARTNER.
SHOOT HIM, SHOOT HIM,
SHOOT HIM, SHOOT HIM!
YOU CAN' SHOOT ME, SERGEANT.
YOU'RE A COP.
YOU HAVE TO PLAY I BY THE BOOK.
GO AHEAD, SERGEANT,
SHOOT ME.
SOMETIMES, GENERAL...
YOU MAKE THE RULES UP
AS YOU GO.
OH!
JUST KIDDING.
NOTHING LIKE A GOOD
SMOKE AFTER YOU'VE
BLOWN SOMEONE AWAY.
YOU MIND?
YEAH.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
THESE THINGS
ARE DANGEROUS.
LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED
THE FIREWORKS, CAPTAIN.
WRONG!
LOOKS LIKE
WE'RE JUS IN TIME FOR THEM!
SO YOU TWO GUYS
ARE A COUPLE OF
SUPERHEROES, HUH?
WE GOT THE BAD GUYS, CAP.
YEAH, AND YOU ALMOS GOT YOURSELF KILLED.
WISH I HAD MORE MEN
LIKE YOU.
LOOK,
WOULD YOU RECONSIDER
THAT RETIREMENT?
ONLY IF COLT'S MY PARTNER.
I THINK
IT CAN BE ARRANGED.
THANKS, CAP.
SEQUEL.
SEQUEL.
I'M DRIVING.
I'M DRIVING.
I'M DRIVING.
I'M DRIVING.
I'M DRIVING.
I'M DRIVING!
O.K.
YOU KNOW, I FEEL
LIKE I'M FORGETTING
SOMETHING BACK THERE.
DESTINY. CLAIRE.
THAT'S IT.
WE'RE HERE, COLT.
DESTINY, CLAIRE,
Y-Y-YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.
ME, TOO,
IN CASE YOU HAVE
THE SENSITIVITY
TO CARE.
I--I--I KNOW
YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE
WITH ME,
BUT DON'T WORRY.
I GROW ON YOU.
KIND OF LIKE A RASH.
[STEREO]
LET ME GO
BEELZEBUB HAS A DEVIL
PUT ASIDE FOR ME
FOR ME
FOR ME
SO YOU THINK
YOU CAN STONE ME
AND SPIT IN MY EYE
SO YOU THINK
YOU CAN LOVE ME
AND LEAVE ME TO DIE
LOVE DON'T GIVE
NO COMPENSATION
LOVE DON'T PAY NO BILLS
LOVE DON'T GIVE
NO INDICATION
LOVE JUST WON' STAND STILL
LOVE KILLS
DRILLS YOU
THROUGH YOUR HEART
LOVE KILLS
SCARS YOU
FROM THE START
LOVE KILLS
LOVE KILLS
LOVE KILLS
LOVE KILLS
LOVE DON'T TAKE
NO RESERVATION
LOVE IS NO SQUARE DEAL
HEY, LOVE DON'T GIVE
NO JUSTIFICATION
STRIKES LIKE COLD STEEL
LOVE KILLS
DRILLS YOU
THROUGH YOUR HEART
LOVE KILLS
SCARS YOU
FROM THE START
IT'S JUS A LITTLE FASTER
BURNIN' YOUR LIFELINE
GIVES YOU A HARD TIME
WON'T LET YOU GO
'CAUSE LOVE
LOVE
LOVE WON' LEAVE YOU ALONE
YEAH
AND LOVE CAN PLAY
WITH YOUR EMOTIONS
AN OPEN INVITATION
TO YOUR HEART
HEY, LOVE KILLS
PLAY WITH YOUR EMOTIONS
AN OPEN INVITATION
TO YOUR HEART
HEY, LOVE KILLS
LOVE KILLS
LOVE KILLS
LOVE KILLS
LOVE KILLS
HEY, DRILLS YOU
THROUGH YOUR HEART
LOVE KILLS
SCARS YOU
FROM THE START
IT'S JUS A LITTLE FASTER
LIVIN'
IN YOUR HEARTLINE
WON'T LET YOU GO
LOVE KILLS
DRILLS YOU
THROUGH YOUR HEART
LOVE KILLS
TEARS YOU RIGHT APART
IT WON'T LET GO
IT WON'T LET GO
LOVE KILLS
OOH OOH
OOH OOH OOH
OOH OOH
OOH OOH OOH
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