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Los ilusionautas (2012)
If you had toId me it was possibIe
to enter someone else's imagination, I would've said you were crazy. But it's true. It happened. And I was there. My name is Pascal. And this is a story about stories... All four targets located. Approaching first extraction. Copy. Lock on target. Mission is a full go. This is not a drill! Understood, Sir! You'll move on my mark! Roger that. Good to go! - Are you ready? - Yes, sir. We're going in. This book is reaIly boring. You can't run from us! We got you now and your Mommy can't save you! Thought you could escape us, huh? No, please! Stop! Say ''good night'', boys! I'm so hungry, but there's nothing to eat. If I remember correctIy, which l always do, this should do it. Yeah, that's it. And, enter, enter... Profiterole! You stealing my food again? You think l wouldn't hear you and that mangy dog of yours? We haven't eaten all day, Uncle Cognac. Then you shouId've made it home in time for dinner. l know, but l have a job after school, remember? Well, cry me a river why don't cha? Dinnertime's over! And it was mighty good if I do say so myseIf! Beside that, Profiterole, eating late... ...just makes your farts even smeIIier than they usually are. Go to bed. Please, you know l can't help it. I have a stomach probIem. Ready. Fight! Round House! Target spoted. Listen to me, ProfiteroIe. If you can't get here in time for dinner, don't blame me. Go and get yourself another job. Now it's time for bed! But UncIe Joe, it's the onIy job I couId find that doesn't start untiI after cIass! - Have they paid you yet? - Yes, Sir. Hand it over, everything! Double round house! Excellent! Good move! Now, go on and get yourself into bed. Before your parents died, they made me promise to take care of your education. Ya can't study without sleep! Mom and Dad, l know you're watching over me right now, so can you please help me get outta here? Sorry, Houston. I guess my stomach is worse when I don't eat! Houston! Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself? Crescent kick! Perfect! Miss, you're coming with us... l gotcha! Not the flying kick! Hey! Keep quiet, and you, what is that smell? - We're Special Forces! - We're here to take you on a mission. Call off the mission. I told you to stand down. You're coming with us, son. Thank you, Mommy and Daddy! Wow! Cool! A UH 70 Black Navajo! Tell me who you are! Whatta you want? Special Forces. Top secret mission. Direct orders from the President. Da Vinci, Da Vinci, Da Vinci! It's a conspiracy! AlI l see or hear anymore is the name of that Italian! Minister Chateau, fix this problem, soon! Hi, Lovey. How's my snuggly, wuggIey pookey bear?. I wuv you. Yes... As l was saying earlier, we have a plan! And? And here is our solution, Jean Visogneaux! Okay, you've completely lost your mind. Visogneaux is the worst science fiction writer in the worId. You can't go up against Da Vinci with that loser! Secretary Albino is absolutely right. Alright, l have one word for you guys. Focus. Group. I'm pretty sure that's two words. Whatever, semantics! Point is, the briIIiant minds of our republic have made a discovery, we can re-edit the books of Visogneaux, modernize them, change them and give him a whoIe new image! l hope you're not thinking of rewriting his books. No, of course not. Visogneaux will do it himself! Hear me out. A classified archive has been discovered within our government, and in it are the plans for a secret machine... ...that allows you to get inside the imagination of various geniuses. It's incredibIe! No, it's impossible. Well, our scientists in the Agency of Impossible Affairs... ...didn't seem to think so, as a matter of fact they've constructed this machine and they've made it work! You've really gone overthe edge. Think so? AlIow me to present you The lllusionarium! You can't be serious! Well, Mr. President and Secretary Albino... l could not be more serious. Nope. I present you the imagination of William Shakespeare. Indeed! Our brilIiant scientists have gone into Shakespeare's works... ...and altered, slightly, a couple of his creations, so very subtly, so that even the most die-hard fans of Shakespeare wiII not compIain. No, no, no, l guarantee you that! Please, have a Iook! ''TV or not TV, that is the question.'' Chateau, this is amazing! Thanks. So, today every single edition of''Hamlet''... ...in every single part of the worId now has that line changed. ''To be or not to be'' is history! It realIy says that in aIl the Hamlet books in the world? Yes, that's what l'm telling you! Of course, we have 48 hours to reverse it. l mean we're not completely off! What we are proposing is to modify the books of Jean Visogneaux, so that they will finally become popular. Making him a national hero! And then we'Il be finished with this ridicuIous domination of Da Vinci! We'll create a page on the Web! A Twitter account, a social network, so everyone can comment! You know, we'lI have a television show... ...that's more popular than ''The World's Biggest ldol!'' This machine couId dominate worIdwide cuIture. lf you manage to accomplish this goal, Chateau, you'll win the Legion of Honour. And if you faiI, then it's straight to the guillotine. Another brilIiant French invention! Master, Da Vinci and our secret brotherhood... ...is seriously close to some critical danger. Is that so? I understand... Yes, I see. Understood. Consider it done. Go away. Bad moth. When we got married, you promised me I would be the new Queen. I meant it as a term of endearment. DarIing, I never said that we would live at VersaiIles. All the queens lived at Versailles! But, it didn't go so well for the last queen. You know, this has really stressed me out. How will you make it up to me? I have an idea. We have plans to gIorify Jean Visogneaux! I'm listening. - It's going to be big, CaroI! - Really? I was even thinking of putting on a concert to promote it. Press? Yes, a Iot! A film contract? Most likely, yes. - Paparazzi, magazine covers? - Absolutely guaranteed! lt wiIl be a media extravaganza and you wiII be considered the Queen of France, like you've always deserved to be. - So where will it be held? - ln the museum! Okay, sounds good. Hey! We can finaIly remove that horrible glass pyramid that was put in front of it. That could be a possibility, we would have to consult... You are magnificent, my darling husband and that is why l adore you. And, with a little luck, l will be on the cover of aII the magazines next week! More champagne. What happened to you? Let's see if Chateau's pIan works now that l've mixed up all Visogneaux's stories. Oh no! Lions! Hurry up! We've got to hurry! - Master Ferrero! Master Ferrero! - Not now, Jose. But, Master! I have something important to teII you! What do you want, Jose? Forgive me for bothering you, Sir... but, you seem to be missing an arm and a leg! Ferrero, you're disappearing, look! Impossible, and also very inconvenient right now. Where did he go? I just knew entering this race wouId be a terrible idea. Traveling around the world in a hot air balloon? l'd really like to know in whose imagination this stupidity was born? HoId on, Jose! We're in for the ride of our Iives! Does anyone see anything? Not yet. Anyone else? Nothing. What's up with the fish? They're afraid of something! l feel a strange presence. It's coming! Stay back! l'm going in! No! Don't attack it! Stop! Come back! Here l come! You can kiss your suckers goodbye! Divers! Prepare to attack! On my count! 3, 2, 1! Throw! It did nothing! Gentlemen, good news. After much research we have finaIIy come to the unmistakabIe conclusion... ...that we Americans now have the ability, forthe first time, to assembIe a kind of giant buIIet which will carry a crew of humans... ...inside of it and wilI actuaIly be abIe to make the journey around the sun... Who are you? Forgive my interruption, gentlemen, I'm so very sorry. l am the Emperor Afejad, King of the underwater city ''Esplendora.'' Are you a member of our Gun Club? Have you paid your fee? No, I'm afraid l'm not a member. This is an outrage! You cannot be here, this meeting is exclusiveIy for members only! Not only that, we're in the process of changing history... ...and you dare to interrupt? You should be ashamed! Again, my apologies, l meant no disrespect to any of you. But, by any chance, did you see a giant octopus? Pick up the pace, Normalverbraucher. The Flying Train has arrived and you're going to make us miss it! But Sir, don't you think this trip could be dangerous? Great endeavors are for the brave. I've got this completely covered, don't you worry about that. Normalverbraucher? NormaIverbraucher! Where are you? Where did you go? We're not going to make the train, NormaIverbraucher! NormaIverbraucher! - Normalverbraucher! - Normalverbraucher! NormaIverbraucher! NormaIverbraucher! What a tragedy! NormaIverbraucher! NormaIverbraucher! Normalverbraucher... Verbracher! Minister Chateau! Monsieur Minister! This is a calamity! An absolute calamity! Pascal, what could it possibly be this time? Normalverbraucher! What happened to NormaIverbraucher? What a disaster. What're we going to do now? Je ne sais pas! (l don't know.) Well, looks like we'll have to go see the Professor. - Oh, no, no, no, no! - Oui! Oui! (Yes!) - Oh, no! - Oh, Oui! - PIease, no! - Oui! But, Minister Chateau, please, with aIl due respect, je ne se pas (I don't know) if it is a good idea... ...for us to go and ask the Professorfor his help! Pascal, there's no one that knows more about science fiction than he does. Oui! But, the Professor is also totally crazy! Completement fou! Oh, please, who isn't crazy these days? Last time l saw him, he got angry and tried to transform me into a fly! It was an absolute nightmare! You made him angry? He's aIready a mad scientist, don't make him madder! Anyway, he doesn't understand... ...the difference between science and science fiction, he's completely nuts! Yes, that's true. l guess you couId say he's a IittIe unbaIanced, but he is a genius and probably the only one who can save us. Did l teIl you about the time he attacked me with a flyswatter? Well, at least he didn't spray you with insecticide. The IIIusionarium exists! I knew it! Visogneaux left an open portal to his imagination, but the technology of his time didn't make it possibIe. Now, they have designed that part but, something has gone terribly wrong, a real disaster, the stories have alI gotten mixed up, turned around! We now have 48 hours to resoIve this! So, what's your suggestion, Professor?. Do you really think it's possible for us... ...to put the stories back into their original state? l might have a solution, but first, I need Pascal's help on an experiment I've been working on. I knew this was going to happen and you can forget it! No. I don't understand. If I apply eIectricity to the body then the light bulb should go on. Yeah, that is unusuaI, maybe there's not enough current? In regards to your problem, Chateau, something sparked an idea! Could it be the smeIl of my burning flesh that sparked it? J'ai mal a la tete. (l'm having a headache.) Please, Pascal! Do not interrupt the Professor. This may sound kinda risky, and it's onIy an idea, but l really can't see another solution to such a compIex situation. As you know, everyone thinks Visogneaux was a huge faiIure. WeII, wasn't he? No, no, no! Visogneaux was actuaIIy ahead of his time! And, his most important invention of aIl, just happens to be something that manages to... ...help every computer in the entire world to work! Jean Visogneaux invented the microprocessor! ls that what you're saying? No. Was it the binary code? No. l can't feel my legs... The internet! No! What then? Shutting down, and starting up again! See? Jean Visogneaux invented the Reset button! Shut down, and start up. Shut down, and start up. Oh, yeah, l see! And how exactly does that help us? It's simple! All noveIs are systems, and each Visogneaux novel... ...has a Restart button imbedded inside of it, so there ya go! So what you're saying is I just need to go in and find the Reset button! ExactIy! But, you'II need to form a team of specialists that are very... I don't know... let's see, special? ls everyone ready to go? Oh, no, no, no. Not yet, we're still missing the little girl. Here she is now! WeIcome! Welcome my dear children, welcome to ''Project Visogneaux!'' You have each been specially chosen to be a part of history! We have brought you aIl here for a very special and ultra secret mission. Please excuse the IittIe outburst of our subordinate! That is my assistant Pascal. Now, as l'm sure we aIl know, one of the greatest failures of French Literature of the 19th century... ...was a man named, Jean Visogneaux. And, in regards to that, we have been confronted with a big problem, alI of Visogneaux's stories have gotten somewhat mixed up. So, how do you expect us to help? Well, l'm glad you asked! Believe it or not, we have an amazing invention! A machine like nothing you've ever seen before! It has the technology to insert you kids... ...right into the imagination of this great man! The IlIusionarium! The goal is for you to go out and unravel the stories, so we can return them to their originaI state. So how come you picked us? WeII, first of all, because you are all twelve years old, and that is the age at which Jean Visogneaux's imagination... ...was the most impressionable and receptive. Right! Which should make it all much easier... ...when it comes to teleporting aIl of you into his imagination. So, do you understand? - Yeah! - Yes! The other reason you all were chosen is that... ...each one of you represents a side of Visogneaux's personality. That way when we teIeport you, we don't have to worry about any of you being rejected. Aristotle, you represent his genius and the Iove that he had of technology. Petit Pan, you represent Visogneaux's literary and cultural passion. Nicole, you represent love. You just happen to be a direct descendent... ...of Jean Visogneaux's cousin, Nicole Tomasina. And, Visogneaux was madIy in love with her, could it be more romantic? Could it be more gross? How could someone be in Iove with their cousin? That was very common back then. She must have been very beautiful, like you! I think it's romantic too! Imagine yourseIf crossing the entire ocean only for love. Being on the ship and feeling the wind... ...touching your hair and your skin, making you sigh. And to think that love has swept. Excuse me! What part of Visogneaux do l represent, huh? My assistant, PascaI wiIl explain that to you. Oui! I mean, no! No, no, moi? Oui, oui, my friend. No, no, no, no. Oui, oui, oui! No, no, no, it's your place. I wouldn't know the right way to say it! Look. Visogneaux had serious gas problems. So, you represent that. Sorry. Oh, very serious. Listen up, children. The stories to which we wilI be teIeporting you, take place in the 19th century and the beginning of the 20th century. We have designed these very special suits that with just one touch of a button... ...will become the perfect disguise you will need... ...to pass through whatever part of the world... ...and whatever occasion you may come up against, while raising no suspicion. Watch this. Wow! Awesome! CooI! Oh, do you think this outfit makes me look fat? No! lt looks really good on you! Excuse moi! (Excuse me.) l guess pink is not really my color. Now, Iet's have you practice with your own suits... ...so you can start training to adapt to your new environments. Now don't take this the wrong way, but don't you think maybe that's a Iittle bit too much? You think l have too many clothes on? No, no, no! I think you Iook beautiful dressed like that, l was referring to... Yes, of course. You're probably right. I am a littIe overdressed. I'lI have to show them more skin! lf that bikini gets any smaller, I'm not sure if my approval ratings are going to go up or down. Awesome! Yay! Yes! Welcome, llIusionauts! I present you The IlIusionarium! What do you think? lt's really beautiful. IncredibIe! So it is true, The lIlusionarium exists! l thought it was just a legend. Well, actualIy it was just a legend... ...until we managed to construct it and get it up and running. And, let's not forget how important you kids are in all of this, you should be extremely proud to be our very first IIIusionauts! I can't believe it's really happening! This is awesome! We're actualIy going into the imagination of Jean Visogneaux! lt won't be dangerous, right? lt's an extremely safe machine that has passed... ...almost all of the most strictest security tests, there's nothing to worry about. And now, this is the time where l'm going to need to get your signatures, sign here, here and here. What? Oops, nothing to worry about, just a simple controlIed test of our system of fuses. Testing the extinguisher now. Testing, testing, good. So, everything seems to be in order. Which book are we going to first? You won't beIieve it, we're sending you to ''Journey Around The Sun.'' Oh yeah! l've always wanted to fly in a rocket ship. The problem is, the characters never reach the sun... ...because the space ship melts. So, what happens? Do they die? I reaIly don't know. I neverfinished the book, it was just way too boring. Let's not think about that. Now, after you kids have been transported overthere, you'lI hear our voices and we'Il be able to see you on our screen. Which part of the story will we be in? Yes, that's a very good question, Nicole, but a smalI detaiI. We actuaIly have no control overwhich part of the story... ...you'Il end up landing in, but, that's aIright! l hope we land in a safe spot, right, Houston? No need to worry at all. Thanks to a little mechanism we've installed in the GPS system, we'll be ready to guide you to that Restart button, rapidement! Okay, then launch us already! Everything is good to go! Sept, six, cinq, quatre, trois, deux, un. (Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.) - lt didn't go! - Something's happened? Oh, okay, l know! Of course! This button over here. This switch... Hey! What's going on? Relax, everything is going along just as planned! Even now? I don't think I Iike this at aII. This is weird. Now l know l definitively don't like this! Stay calm everybody, I think this is something that is supposed to happen. Don't worry about a thing, we're right on scheduIe. l'm not worried about a thing so you shouIdn't worry either, just reIax, and breathe, breathe, breathe. Pascal, something's gone wrong. We need to suspend this experiment, now! Help, get me out of here! lt's going out of control! Get us out, pIease help us! l hear you Profiterole, and l am going to help you! Watch it, you midget frog, get your hand off me! Oh, l'm sorry, Nicole! It's realIy dark and l'm trying to figure out where we are. Looks like we're inside of the projectile. In the story it gets shot out by a cannon. So we're gonna get shot out? According to the book, this projectile's sitting on 900 pounds of gun powder. Those guys are all from different stories! Hurry! Let's close the porthole so they can't get in. Who are these intruders? - Better get away, it's about to take off. - I have no idea. They look like they're from another planet. Run! Okay, so where is this famous Restart button? I'm testing, I'm testing. Un, deux, trois. HeIlo! Pascal Airlines announces the departure of his Inter-orbitary flight to the sun! Stop joking around, Pascal, we have a mission to compIete! Sorry, l got a little carried away there for a minute. The Restart button is located in the, you know, somewhere over there, next to the thing. What does that mean? That means the Restart button is on the outside, outside of the rocket. Why didn't you teIl us that when we were back on earth, Pascal? Excuse moi, l guess l forgot, l was so excited... ...that The llIusionarium actually worked, I realIy didn't think it wouId! l thought The lllusionarium was a safe and completely tested machine! We said it was safe, we never said it was completely tested. Temperature outside is negative two ninety two. Whoever can endure the cold best should go. We could wait 'til we're closer to the sun, that way maybe it'Il heat up a Iittle bit. Profiterole, you're carrying more layers than the rest of us, you're the best candidate. Houston, we have a problem. Somebody help me, please! lt's too dangerous. I'm going out to help him. I'll go with you! The hatch is broken! No! Profiterole has faIIen off! Help! Oh no, don't leave me! Wait! Please help! - We have to save ProfiteroIe! - We're comin' back for you! Please, don't go! More power! Wait! Hang in there, Profiterole. Here! They're running out of gas! We have no more power, guys! No! No! I don't beIieve this! You can do it! Come on, Profiterole. Keep going! Stay strong! Oh yeah, ProfiteroIe, you are the bomb, you did it, you're awesome! Hey you guys, l don't see the button anywhere! lt must be there! Don't you see anything out there that reads ''Reset?'' No, but there's something here that reads... Adventure... Star... Tours. Yeah, ''Adventure Star Tours!'' l figured it out! Profiterole, find the letter ''R'' in Adventure. lt's the beginning of the word ''restart!'' And then, along with Star and the ''T'' in Tours, it spelIs out ''restart!'' I see it! Now push the button! Hurry! Get ready! But nothing happened! But what about me? With my connection to The lllusionarium, I'm inserting you into Visogneaux's imagination. Find those brats... and finish them off so no one can fix these absurd stories of Visogneaux. But Boss, how am l gonna be able to get into Visogneaux's imagination? I'm not twelve years old. I don't represent any part of his personality, as far as l know. Oh, but you do, Torpedo. Don't cut yourself short. The stories of Visogneaux are fuIl of horribIe monsters. And as far as age, the most important age is the mental one. Oh yeah! l knew you'd know, you're a genius! Well, some would say genius, l prefer mastermind. Now we're in the ''Hot Air Balloon Race Around The WorId.'' Take care of those intruders. Where is my Master? I'lI explain if you keep us from crashing into that rock! Oh, my gosh! Let me take the wheeI! The lions are chasing us! And they're getting cIoser! Can't we get any higher? Houston, no! I've got you! Brace yourselves! Here they come again! What do they want? Go away! Leave us alone! Why do we keep losing altitude? We've gotta think of something. Aristotle, save us! The wheeI is stuck! Do something, Aristotle! We're aImost touching ground! We were aImost their dinner. We understand that you're confused, but if you'll just lower your weapons, we can try and help you bring Dr. Ferrero back. Don't get cheeky. Better not try any funny stuff! Find your way to the Temple of Onoffon. He's sayin' we should go to the Temple of Onoffon. lt's in the village of the Munchi-Munchi. That's a funny name! So, we're goin' to some viIIage where there's Iots of Munchi-Munchi. I guess they're people, wonderwhy they're called that? lt's an onomatopoeia. So they're Japanese! No, it means the word and the sound are the same, Iike the croak of a frog, or the mooing sound of cows. Cows don't mooing, they go ''moooo!'' ProfiteroIe, ''munchi-munchi'' is the sound this tribe makes when they chew. In otherwords, the Munchi-Munchi are cannibals. That's cooI. Everyone has the right to be what they wanna be when they grow up, right? Cannibalism is not a profession. Unfortunately it means they eat people, like us! They eat their enemies, Profiterole. And you, my friend, look like a very tasty nibble. Well, no need to start worrying about it now, Iet's just wait until we get there. So, where is this village? On the lsIand of the Cursed. Which is on the River Of Lizards. After you pass the Tree of Serpents. I'm sorry. Maybe now is a good time to start worrying. That's bloody awful! Perhaps we should begin our descent now to pick up a few provisions. Obviously this is going to be a very difficult trip! Profiterole, drop the anchor onto something soft. Well, it was something soft anyway. No! Elephants are an endangered species! What is wrong with you? Don't you know these beasts are the pIague of Africa! Well, not for much longer, believe me! Don't you see what man has done to this pIanet and its animaIs? Gotta do something, Nicole! lf this balloon bursts, we won't make it to the TempIe of Onoffon! Fine. l'll go down then. l'll save it. NicoIe! Torpedo, find an observation site, go look for the lair of some animal. When they're asleep, destroy their balloon... ...and that will be the end of their expedition! Okay boss, l can do that. One small question, what the heck is a lair? No! You big brainless fool! Go find a hoIe, an orifice, a burrow, whatever! Why are you over here? Oh, I wanna be alone. Sorry then. So, how come you're not eating? I'm a vegetarian. Plus, l've been taking care of the eIephant's wound... ...and l was hoping someone would bring me something. Guess what, someone just did. You're so sweet. I mean, the fruit is sweet. l mean, the gesture... your gesture is sweet, Petit Pan. Thanks, NicoIe. Do you want one? Why don't you sit with me? AristotIe, come on, put those maps away and come have dinnerwith us! No, I can't. l have to study the route fortomorrow. That's our Aristotle, studying all the time! That might make him really intelligent, you know, but he sure doesn't know how to Iighten up and have some fun. He should learn how to enjoy life! Jose, what do you caIl this deIicious thing you made, it's so good! Thank you, it's my speciality, ''Ants, by Jose.'' Did you say ants? Yes, l mix them with spiders and worms... ...and that's what gives it that special taste. How could you possibly do something Iike that to me? You know I have a nervous stomach and an irritabIe colon, and chronic diarrhea, part-time constipation, an inflamed esophagus and ridiculous gas! You can't serve me worms, it compromises my entire system, that's why l'm in this story! Oh, no, not again! What was that? Bedouins! Gotta go fast, Ellie. Faster! I've gotta find an air current or we'll never save NicoIe! This balIoon is much too heavy, we'Il never go fast enough to catch her at this weight! Charge! Let's get them! So what should we do, they're gonna catch Nicole! Come on, help me lighten our load! That smarts! What about this clock? Now, you won't be late! We have nothing left to throw! Houston! Go on without me, that way you'll be lighter. l'lljust convert my suit into a flying one. ProfiteroIe, no! Don't, ProfiteroIe! Profiterole! None of our suits can fly! Oh yeah? l can fly... NicoIe! - Help me up! - Gimme your hands, hurry! This stress is killing me! Me too, but we must telI the President that... ...everything is going along tres bien (very well). Maybe they'd rather stay down there. Poor Profiterole, do you think he's okay? He'll be alright. lf he can survive that uncle of his, he can survive this, too. Pascal! Pascal! Can you see Profiterole? We only have one camera! It's true. Congress wouId onIy approve the budget that alIows us the one camera. PoIiticians, of course. The only way for you to heIp ProfiteroIe is to hit Restart on this story, and then go on to the next one. Well, it looks like we are on the right route. There's the River of Lizards... ...and the Tree of Serpents. What shaII we do about the cannibaIs? The same thing they do in the original story. In a little while, the moon is going to be hidden, and then what we'll do is make them believe we are Iunar gods... ...and that we must enter the Temple of Onoffon for the moon to reappear. You think that wiII work? As Iong as the moon stays behind the clouds, it'll work. Jevre tishmeu, anajnu anshei ha yareaj she koI eIef shanim yoredim laharetz. Ajshaf tnu lanu leikanes le Onoffon. Mister Clinton, you and Jose stay in the balloon. Once we enterthe tempIe, that's hopefully when Dr. Ferrero will return. So wait here. But, if the moon reappears, you'd better hurry and go! - What about you? - Don't worry about us. We'll be fine. It's important that you be in the balloon when Dr. Ferrero appears. Those kids are mighty brave. lf you ask me, l'd say they're nuts. Torpedo, they're entering the tempIe. Go finish them off! Who is that crazy intruder? And who invited him to the party? How did he enter The IlIusionarium? I don't understand. I got you! What have you done? Don't yell at me, you are making me nervous! I asked forthe intruder, not an octopus! Oh, no! We have to get out of here now! Hurry! Quick! Pascal, everything is destroyed. This is a disaster. Okay, Monsieur Boss, the most important thing we can do right now... ...is to look at the positive side of all of this! Here are the facts, PascaI. We have Iost the chiIdren, and without The lllusionarium, they can never return! And, tomorrow the President's wife is re-launching Visogneaux, but thanks to us, his stories are crazierthan before, and now there's a giant octopus on the loose! Tell me, Pascal! Please tell me what is the positive side? Calm down , Iet me see... Missing children, furious first Iady, crazy stories, octopus... Of course! That's it! I know the positive side! Do you realize that the price forfresh sushi-grade octopus... ...is over 12 Euros per pound? And, our octopus has got to be at Ieast 35000 pounds! That's over400000 Euros! Assuming the Euro doesn't coIlapse before we seIl the entire carcass, but just in case, maybe we seIl it to the Japanese... ...and insist on getting paid in Yen! If the moon appears, you realize we are done for. There's the Restart button. Onoffon. On, off, on. It's so obvious now. l guess I didn't expect these cannibaIs to be so literate. What? Go, NicoIe! Nothing's happening! On, off, on... PuII the Iever down one more time! It's the moon! Look! Look! Haz hem lo hayareaj! Nobody messes with the friends of the great Profiter... lt's the portal! We're saved! Get ready you guys! - It's time! - Come on, Houston! NicoIe. Where do you think you're going, come back here. Come back! l'll get you! Why, why? Pourquoi? Pourquoi! (Why? Why!) No, not again, Boss. S'il vous plait! (Please.) Please, not up the mountain again to the professor, no! I don't want to! I don't want to go! You only have yourself to blame. Moi? (Me?) That is just not the truth at all! You distracted me with your big panicking attack, and so I got confused and you made me push the wrong button. Do you think that l wanted to bring a giant octopus into ourfaces? Non! (No!) If there is a soIution to this catastrophe, the Professor wilI know it. You're just in time! I was just working on a solution, to a complex problem, what came first, the cork orthe corkscrew? - Cork, of course. - Corkscrew, of course. lt was the cork! Obviously! I disagree, it was the corkscrew! Minister Chateau! PIease, why would someone need to invent a corkscrew... ...if there were no corks that needed to be pulIed from the bottle? And, why would someone pIug up a bottIe with a cork... ...if there was no corkscrew to open it up with! The cork! The corkscrew! The cork! The corkscrew! And now you can see. This is a big diIemma. Even more important than the-chicken-and-the-egg conundrum, because there are many more wine drinkers than chicken eaters. Have you seen Profiterole or Petit Pan? l can't find them anywhere. I guess they Ianded on a different side of the boat. I wonder which book we're in now? Don't know, it's obviousIy some kind of voyage, but l really can't identify the story. I'm sorta worried about Petit Pan. Nicole, are you and he... No, no, no, Petit Pan and I... No, nothing! I just meant he'd be heIpfuI since he knows all the stories by heart. My valet, Normalverbraucher, left suddenly. Reliable help is difficult to find. I had the obligation to catch the Flying Train... ...and l couldn't keep searching for him, so I got on board. I could not be late. So, we must be in the story, ''The Adventures on the Flying Train.'' What are we doing on a ship when we shouId be on a train? Who knows, remember Visogneaux was a terribIe writer. - You thought you couId escape from me? - Run! Very interesting. Yes, very interesting. So what do you think, Professor?. - Here is what I think, very interesting! - Yes, we get that! So, do you have a soIution to our very interesting problem, or no? To which problem? The kids! We have to find a way to get the kids back, Professor! So, why didn't you say so! That diIemma is biggerthan the chicken, orthe egg! The kids, Professor! Oh, yes, yes, yes... l just might have a solution for you! There was a period in which I was working on something and abandoned it. l got distracted by a formula. I don't remember at what stage I left that experiment. Let me think... lt's dangerous though, it was still in the experimentation phase. I don't know if it'II even work, we never tried to use it. FoIlow me! This is awesome! I've never seen anything so cooI! Now we're underwater. I read this book. I know where we are. Oh, oh, no, no, don't tell me. lt's the underwater city of Pandora. Why do l have a bad feeling about this? I need to borrow your brain. lt's the closest thing that l have to a twelve-year-old child, no offense. Nicole! You've gotta try and wake up! Why are you doing this, you ugIy Neanderthal, if you throw us over board, with this weight on, we'll die. I need to know which one of Jean Visogneaux's stories you want to go into! Je ne sais pas! (l don't know.) How am l supposed to know where those kids have gone? And how am l supposed to know which way to direct the machine... ...if you don't tell me? We don't know where they are, we lost them before the last reset! That was a close one. No, please, you have to let us go! Help us, somebody help us! No! So to which of the stories do you want to go? Okay! How about starting with ''The Fantastic Tunnel.'' I can do that! ls this going to hurt? lt shouldn't, l'm at a pretty safe distance. Voila! We're using Pascal's brains as our projector. Nothing! Professor? Are you sure this crazy thing is working properly? If it wasn't working, why would l have used it? Hey! l wonder where our friends are? AristotIe! NicoIe! Yeah, that's right, that's exactly who I'm taIking about! No! l'm telling you they're in extreme danger! So tell me what you need. l'm ready to do whatever it takes, confront any dangerto save them, just give me my marching orders, Petit Pan! Change your suit, we're goin' in the water! Anything except for that, l'm afraid. - l'm not realIy a big fan of swimming. - Take a Iook! Oh, that's bad. You know l'd love to heIp, but I have Sharkaphobia. I don't think I'm a good candidate forthis mission since sharks and l don't really get along, but l'm happy to direct from behind the glass. We gotta hurry before the shark comes back! Activate their diver suits. Okay! Oh, no! Here it comes! No, this is really bad. What're we gonna do? We gotta get outta here! l'm going after him! HeIp, Profiterole! Help me! Here I come! Take that! Choose another story, Minister, we're going back in! ''Adventures of the Flying Train'', let's go! NormaIverbraucher? But in the original story, NormaIverbraucher does not disappear. That means this story has not been restarted, so maybe, the kids are still there! - Hurry, can you fast-forward it, pIease! - I can! Voila! There they all are! We have found them alI! NicoIe! NicoIe! PIease taIk to me! Wake up, talk to me! Ari, come on, wake up. l know you wouldn't wanna miss this amazing underwater city. Nicole, l can't stand to lose you, I don't want to lose you! NicoIe! NicoIe! Aristotle, you should see aII these science fiction toys. You'd think they're so cooI! Wake up, Ari. Where's NicoIe? Are we alive? Nicole, Nicole, please! You can't die! She fought bravely, like a hero. l never got the chance to teII you how I feeI about you. I can't think of a better time than right now to tell me. Nicole! l don't beIieve it, you're alive! Yes, young love. L'amour! Chateau! So sorry, we had a minortechnicaI gIitch, but we are fully operational once again, and back in communication with you all! HoId on just a minute! We were in different stories, how was it possibIe forthem to find us? A lot of Visogneaux's stories and characters intersect. Yes, that's true. Now kids, l know we are aIl very excited about this Iittle re-reunion, but Iet us not forget that we still have a very urgent mission to accomplish. Okay, I say we separate and search for the Reset button. Not a good idea. They must have issued some alert, and now they're on patrol looking for us. So what then? You guys wait here, it seems safe. I'm the one who knows this story the best... ...and l have a feeIing I know where that little button might be. He's a pretty brave kid, you know? And sweet, too! Let's see if l'm right. Hey, have you seen my keys? You're aIways losing something! I'm goin' back to my locker, maybe l Ieft 'em there. Well, hurry back. l'm starting to get sleepy. Where is that Iittle button? Why can't l see you? ControI, Alt, Delete! Got it! Now it's time to use everything l've learned... ...from reading all those spy novels. No! Nice pillow. Come on, get off of me! Everything in here under control? Still can't find my keys. Everything seems quiet on deck. It's an intruder! What did you say? l was just resting my eyes. What do you think you're doing? Bye! He did it! He found the button! Whoo hoo! You've returned! Today, we are here to pay homage to the very taIented... ...yet misunderstood writer, Jean Visogneaux. Believe it or not, everything's back in order! Thanks to you, Professor, the kids are alright... ...and the books have returned to their originaI form. You are alI heroes, reaI heroes! HoId on! We're not in the clear yet, the President's wife is about to announce the relaunch of Jean Visogneaux. We have to stop the President from looking like a complete and utter fool! No problem, we stilI have time to change the books, we can use the Professor's machine. Nobody changes a thing! Did you really think you'd be abIe to Iet Visogneaux... ...steal the glory from a genius like Da Vinci? You? You've committed sabotage. How could you expect me to alIow this abomination? You were putting our brotherhood at risk! And our super secret secrets were in danger. Wait! A secret brotherhood? Of Leonardo Da Vinci? And don't even think about trying to get me to reveaI our precious secrets. Not even under intense torture wouId l reveaI that... ...the Grand Leader of our brotherhood... ...is a famous BraziIian soccer star they call the King. Until the end of my days, I wiII aIways protect the secret identity of King P... Who's King P? Are you telling me that a soccer player is the one... ...who protects the dark secrets of the works of Da Vinci? As you aIl may know, Visogneaux was a great aficionado of music and fashion. Of course, it is understandable to aII why they've chosen me... ...to be the one who directs this event. No! You could never understand because you haven't been initiated! This is a conspiracy, they want to have us disappear. Who do we want to have disappear? - The Iefties! - The Iefties? Yes, yes, yes! All of those geniuses, Leonardo, Napoleon, Chaplin, Beethoven, my mother Aida, Angelina and King P, all! AIl of them left-handed, alI! Hold on just one minute. They're not all lefties! The King kicked with his right... Y'know, l think the ''leftie'' is the Argentinean. Excuse me, but don't try and give me the facts... ...about my own conspiracy theory! Besides, l have proof! Down with the left? That's right! And, look at this other one. ''No to the Ieft!'' But, it aII became substantiated... ...when the President caIIed me into his office and toId me... Albino, l would like you to be my right hand man! Now can you see the atrocity l have to bear? You're crazy, you know that. No time for that, I have aII this responsibility on my shoulders... ...to save all the ''lefties'' in the worId from this pIot! I know a very good doctor... Don't anyone move! l receive direct orders from the King. Yes, Master. Yes, Master. I understand. And now he's just talking into his hand! He's totally loco! Do you know what, I am left-handed too! Seriously? Well, then, you completely understand! Let's shake on it! Can't you drive faster, Pascal? lf we don't get to the President soon, we're sunk. We're probably dead anyway, you know that? You'Il be fine as Iong as we can get the octopus into the Teleporter. If that's actuaIIy a possibiIity then we'll teleport him back into the story. It's really our only option. Over here! Over here! How did you come up with this idea? Look into the camera. lt's a giant octopus! What is happening? We are presenting the latest in animatronics, making sure the relaunch of Visogneaux is a success! PascaI? I'll need to borrow your twelve-year-oId brain again. Right away. Why me? Please, Professor... ChiIdren, get me that cephaIopod moIlusk, so I can take care of him. Now we can start having some fun! And that's what l've been waiting for, let's go. Oh, there it is! I have located the objective. Use all necessary force to destroy the beast. Team, now is the time to use the best of your abiIities. The objective is shoot to kill. We must protect this city by any means necessary! The octopus just destroyed the diver on that bilIboard over there. It must've thought it was a reaI diver! If we change to our diver suits, maybe it'll follow us! Everybody, make the change! Monsieur President! HelIo, Minister Chateau! I congratulate you on the magnificent animation of this octopus! lt's a truly impressive example of the taIents of our robotic industry! Monsieur President, we really need to talk, now. Give me just a moment, this is a time to ceIebrate! Jets? Chateau, you're a genius! Evacuate the city! WeIl, that's siIly. They can't hurt the octopus, it comes from a different dimension. Stop! Let's change direction, maybe we'll confuse him! PascaI! We're going to go try and intercept it. It's way too fast, and these diver suits are just weighing us down. Waiter, it's been more than half an hour since l ordered my octopus, and it still hasn't arrived. Your service is abominable! A giant octopus! Yes, yes, yes. lt'd better be a giant one! At Ieast the size of this table! Uncle Cognac? I need a word with you now. We have a visual. The city has been evacuated. You're reaIly heavy. Now! You listen to me and listen real good! Things are gonna change. You'll treat me with respect and stop insuIting me. Am l making myself clear?. Yes, ProfiteroIe, as cIear as water. You're aIso gonna stop drinking and go get a job... ...so l can do my homework after school! Do you hear me? Someone help me, please! I am so sorry, ProfiteroIe. l beg your forgiveness. It's the aIcohol. lt's made me say and do a lot of stupid things. You know how much l loved your mommy and yourdaddy. They were my only family. And, when they died, l blamed you and buried my pain in Iiquor, and l mistreated you, l know. Can you everforgive me? I promise you, Profiterole, things are going to be different. l am going to be a completely new man for you! Jump in, we're catching octopus! Help us! Gotta put trash in its place! Thanks, Petit Pan! Sorry about the park thing! We are approaching the encounter point. Go, go, go! Aim! First, we'll stop it and then send it back to its originaI story. Prepare to attack! lt's stopping. Get Pascal ready! Fire! We'll only have one chance, Profiterole. Hold yourfire! Oh yes! Yes! We did it! Houston! Yay! Yes! Yes! Mission accomplished. The enemy has been destroyed. No reason to thank me. I was onIy fuIfiIIing my duty as a protector of this great city. Hero? That's probably too big a word. So that, my friends, is what happened. And unIike the ending of Jean Visogneaux, this story had a most delightful ending. But everyone invoIved went on to enjoy a very interesting Iife. You got it, Houston. You're moonwalking! - Are you doing okay, boss? - Why wouldn't l be? You know, in politics, it doesn't matter what you do, it's what they think you did. In this case, what they think l did... l wanted to donate my brain to Science. Science has, unfortunately rejected my offer. And what about the author who started it on? Thanks to Petit Pan's rewrite, Jean Visogneaux was awarded our Nation's Top Literary Award. |
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