Take a deep breath and
start at the beginning.
Tell them how we first met.
Hi. Hi.
Tell them that
ever since we shared our dreams...
Yeah! Yeah!
I had a dream last night.
Even Alex's weirdest ones.
You know a rowing boat?
That little curvy bit the oar sits in?
It's called a rollock
by the way. A what?
Rollock, like "bollock" with an "R."
That was me. I was that thing.
No. Keep that as our secret.
Rosie? Rosie, it's time.
Tell them that this is,
that this has to be...
Everybody!
One of the happiest days of my life.
Please!
For those I haven't had the
chance to say hi to properly,
I'm Rosie.
And this has got to be
one of the happiest days of my life.
Shots!
Yeah! Beyonce!
Yeah!
Whoa!
- Hi, Alex.
- How's it going, mate?
All right.
It's Alex!
It was totally my
fault, the whole thing.
Oh, I'd love to believe
you, Alex, I really would.
I just happen to know my own daughter.
A fine doctor you're gonna make
if this is how you carry on.
Why is everybody shouting?
I'm so embarrassed about last night.
No, no, you don't have to be.
Ugh, I behaved so badly!
Yeah, but bad can be good, too.
Good? It was awful. Oh, I feel
sick even thinking about it.
About which part?
All of it. It never happened.
Alex, okay? You can't tell anyone!
Right.
Go, go, go!
How did we get home from the hospital?
Uh, Mom picked us up.
They needed a parent's name,
so, I obviously didn't
want to give yours.
And she thinks it's my fault anyway,
I'm a terrible influence.
Blah, blah, blah.
Oh, well, you are.
So, now, I have to spend two hours
in the library every
day for a fortnight.
Nightmare. Well, it could be worse.
Bethany Williams has just
got a part time job there.
Yeah, right.
What?
Bethany Williams? Mmm.
Forget it, even I
want to sleep with her.
For your information, she
has been giving me the eye.
Why you haven't squeezed
that zit on your forehead.
Fuck off! No. Come here.
I can do it for you.
Don't touch me! Don't you dare!
Ow!
Just look at Greg
right now. What a bimbo.
He invited me to the school dance.
Uh, what did you say?
No, obviously. I'm going with you.
Hey, Alex.
I missed you in the library today.
Yeah, uh, I had nothing...
Uh, I mean, yeah. I was
a bit... A bit of busy...
Don't be a stranger. Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely not.
I'll see you there.
- Hey, girls!
- What did he say to you?
Pathetic.
She's mine for the taking.
You're lucky she didn't
trip over your tongue
dragging halfway across the ground.
Whoa. Okay. All right.
Well, give me some tips
then, if you are so clever.
How do I go about seducing a woman
who is apparently out of my league?
Is that a serious
question? Yeah, absolutely.
Mmm, well, you're at a disadvantage
being a, you know, virgin.
No, no, no, all right?
We can work with that.
First you have to be cool. Ignore her.
Act like you could take it or leave it.
You see, that I've had practice at. Hmm.
Uh, second, you have
to make her feel like
you've seen something
in her no one else has.
Like her soul.
While also ignoring her?
Yes.
Okay, and what happened to the sex?
This is about the sex!
God! You're so fucked up.
Mmm. You have no idea.
She wants me to take her to the dance.
Really?
Yeah, imagine.
Take her, if it means that much to you.
Come on. You'd have no one to go with.
Uh...
I got asked by the fittest
guy in our year, Alex.
I think I'm fine.
What, so actually this is
quite convenient for you.
Yeah.
All right. Well, yeah,
I'll go ask her then.
Go for it.
Okay. Fine, I will.
- Bethany? Bethany, hi.
- Hey.
Yeah!
Come on.
Me, too.
I need to concentrate
so I can pass my exams
and get a life.
Not Bethany!
Fuck!
Right, Rosie Dunne, get yourself
down to the headmaster's office.
No, no, no, it was
my fault, Mr. Simpson.
I had something I needed to tell her.
So I see, Alex. Congratulations.
Yes, Alex!
I know we're not officially talking,
but I need help with my tie.
For a minute there,
I thought you might be
in love with me or something.
Alex, you will forever be the boy
who wiped bogeys on my favorite
party dress, okay?
Don't flatter yourself.
Good.
I know boy-girl friendships
can be quite complicated sometimes,
but you know I'm always
here if you need to talk.
What do you think?
Boobs au naturel or pushed up?
In? Or out?
Well, uh, I mean, it depends.
Is it for dancing, or is it, um...
Hmm.
Who knows?
So, where is this tool
meant to be meeting you?
You're so rude! Um,
I think at the front.
Uh, yes...
Hey, gorgeous.
Oh.
See ya!
Wanker.
Okay.
Fuck!
Oh, just...
You have done this
before? Yeah. Haven't you?
It's like brushing my teeth.
Ahhh! Bollocks!
That's... Look, let me
help you... No, leave it!
Okay, I've got it. Fuck! Ouch.
Okay, quick! Quick, okay.
Here we go! Okay, quick!
Sweet Jesus!
Oh.
Wow.
I know. I know.
Mmm.
Okay.
Where is it? What?
The thing. I don't know.
Seriously, Greg, where is it?
You had it!
Look, it can't have just disappeared!
Oh, God! Oh, shit!
Rosie? Have you found it?
Do you want me to have a look for you?
Really? Yeah, go on all fours.
Bugger off!
Rosie! Alex! Thank God! Where are you?
I'm on my way out!
No, wait, you've got to help me,
there's been an accident!
Christ, what?
No, no, no, sorry, no, that's
what I meant. Everything's fine.
Jesus, you scared me!
I mean, there was an
accident, um, with the thingy
with Greg, you know?
Well, that happens, Rosie! No, no, Alex.
Something that I need to
figure out right now, Alex.
I need to get rid of it.
It got lost and I can't find
it and I don't know what to do.
You're not making any sense, Rosie!
Can we just talk about this later?
No, Alex, please!
Okay, you need to be really
clear and really precise!
Okay!
The condom came off inside my vagina
and at present I'm unable to locate it!
That's way more
information than I needed.
Hi. I'm Dick.
Of course, you are.
Okay.
Is it, um, front bottom or back?
What do you think I am?
Sorry. I wasn't suggesting
you're a slag or anything.
Isn't there a female nurse?
I'm afraid I'm all you've got.
Huh.
That was one of the most embarrassing
moments of my entire pathetic existence.
Oh.
Oh.
You know what?
Let's get out of here.
Dino's should still be open.
I was thinking more
Boston, Massachusetts.
Oh, you think I should flee the country?
I'm serious.
This place is a dead end,
we've been saying it for years.
And, uh, my dad wants me to try
for a scholarship at Harvard.
You are serious.
It's one of the best
medical schools in the world.
And Boston College happens to have
a really great hotel management course.
That is what you want to do, isn't it?
You can't!
I mean, who'll do your washing?
You'll never eat! It's ridiculous!
They have food in America, Mom,
and I'm guessing washing machines.
It's so far away!
I mean, talk to her, Dennis!
It works for me. I mean,
this is as far as I got.
I know, but Mom's just being Mom.
It would be so much
fun, and it would be...
Did you ever want more, Dad?
Do you know what your
Gran's favorite phrase was?
"Not for the likes of us. "
When you told us of your plan,
it was the first thing
that popped into my head.
I could hear her voice
in the room saying it.
I don't want that voice
in your head, ever.
Here, let me.
I want my own hotel one day.
Is it crazy to think like that?
I've been winging it
with you for 18 years,
pretending I was the one in charge.
You're amazing, Rosie.
There's nothing you can't do,
if you put your mind to it.
But if I go to Boston, Mom
will never speak to me again.
Well, if you don't go, I won't.
The choice is yours.
Dennis!
And do me a favor.
Come back and take that prick's job.
Good evening!
"Dear Miss Dunne, congratulations!
"We are pleased to offer you
a seat at Boston University!"
Oh, my God! Oh, my
God! No way! Oh, my God!
Oh, hey, Clare, is Alex in?
He's tied up.
I can come back.
He'll be down in about three minutes?
Cup of tea?
Baby! Oh, baby!
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, baby, show me, come on, baby!
Yeah, yeah...
Oh, my God, is...
Is that? Bethany.
So, when you said he was...
Tied up. You actually meant...
Tied up.
Um, I should go. Any second now.
Oh, Alex. "Oh, Alex.
Where did you learn "Where did you learn
to do that? "to do that?"
I know. It's so gross.
Hello?
Fuck! I'm coming!
Are you supposed to smoke in here?
My parents own the place. They want
me to help out? I'll set the terms.
What's up?
Oh, right. Um, I've been
feeling sick like, every day.
Maybe you could just give
me a pill or something...
Any diarrhea? No.
Fever? No.
Stomach cramps? No.
Well, have you missed a period?
Yeah.
Uh, no. Virgin?
No, but I took the morning-after pill!
90% safe. 10% is the catch.
There's a loo here
if you want to use it.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Bollocks.
I'd love to, but Bethany's parents
are taking us out to
dinner at the Hazel.
How posh is that?
Okay. I'm sorry.
Um, I... I...
I've got news.
Me, too. Read it.
Scholarship to Harvard!
Alex, that's so great. Congratulations.
It's unbelievable, right?
Have you heard back
from Boston College, yet?
No.
Yeah, you'll get in.
Yeah, what about Bethany?
Have you told her?
She'll be fine.
She's got this... Oh, God, she's
got this thing about my hair.
Yeah. But she literally yanks it.
And she pulls this funny
face during sex like this...
Enough. Enough... I think she likes it.
Don't you care what she's gonna think
about you rushing off like this?
All right, what is it?
What?
Well, you're defending
Bethany. What's wrong?
Nothing. Nothing's wrong.
I thought you'd be happier.
We're on our way to
Boston! Come on! Hey?
It's great. It's great, really.
Well done.
What, come on, you're coming, too!
My flight's in three days,
which gives me time to get
settled in before term starts.
You need to go ahead
and book your ticket.
Sure.
I have got some stuff to sort first,
but I'll be there.
Don't get blown up by terrorists. Okay.
Or lose cabin pressure
and fall out of the sky.
Rosie, wait, wait, wait... Or fly
into a flock of birds. I mean it!
I can delay, if you need me to.
No. You're getting on that plane.
I've got you something. Close your eyes.
Close your eyes.
Give me your finger.
Okay. Keep it there.
North America.
Keep in touch, okay?
Okay.
See you in two weeks, so...
Boston.
This way?
If I'd told him, he'd never have left
and his whole life would
have been ruined, too.
I mean, what's the point?
How noble. I'd have
forced the bastard to stay.
Oh, no, no. He's not the dad.
That's just some other loser.
You are turning out to be
a lot more interesting than you look.
Why don't you just get rid of the thing?
My parents are Catholic. I don't
believe in all that, but I can't!
Oh, I had it all sussed!
Move to Boston, study, get a great job,
at 27, come back and open a hotel.
Then get married and have kids.
Wow. A whole life in bullet points.
Yeah, well now, it's pregnant,
have sprog, full-time mother,
wave goodbye to career, live off
benefits, grow fat, lose hair.
Yeah. You might as well
just kill yourself now.
I can sort the drugs.
Look. There's loads of people out there
that want a kid that can't have one.
Give it away.
I could still move to Boston.
I can apply to college again,
or get a job. I don't care.
So it would all be the
same, just six months later.
I don't even need to tell Alex,
I could just think of an excuse.
Whoa. That's major denial, babe.
Yeah.
I just happen to think
it's the way to go.
Who's that? Alex.
Have you told him yet?
I'm sending him my
arrival time in Boston.
That's all he needs to know.
Oh. All this fibbing is
gonna catch up with you, girl.
Whoa!
The way that thing burst out of her.
That might happen to you! It might.
Her whole belly will erupt.
Blood and guts.
And this freakish alien will
leap out and bite your head off!
Stop it, the pair of you!
Pregnancy is a sacred thing!
It can't hear us. Yes, it can!
And don't refer to it as "it. "
It's a girl if you must know.
You found out?
I asked at the last scan.
I thought I should tell the social
worker so he can start his plans.
A girl! What about names?
No, um, I'll let the new parents decide.
- Give us a peek.
- Hey!
A woman's body doesn't become public
property just because she is pregnant.
Be my guest.
Look at that!
Oh, my God!
She's got hiccups!
Little thing's got hiccups!
Oh, bless!
Whatever.
Baby, can you hear me?
Try holding your breath like this.
There you are, Katie girl!
That's probably not going
to be your name, okay?
It's coming! Towels! Hot water!
- Where's the midwife?
- I don't know!
Come in now!
Come on!
Come on! Midwife's here!
Let's go! As quick as you like!
She's just right down the hallway.
All right, okay, breathe, breathe!
Get out!
Breathe, breathe, everything
is going to be all right!
Being a girl sucks! Yeah.
Oh.
Hello.
That'll be the social worker.
Would you like to hold her?
Or should I bring her
straight downstairs?
Katie.
Sweet little Katie.
I promise, Katie,
I'm going to be a good Mommy.
Katie.
Katie. Shh...
It's gonna be okay.
Please. Katie, it's gonna be okay!
Shh...
My life's over, Dad!
Wait 'til you become a grandparent.
Katie, Katie. Shh.
Shh.
You know, I still
remember the drive back
from the hospital when you were born.
You screamed blue murder,
the whole bloody journey.
I was so scared, I
jumped three red lights.
Lost my license.
You never told me that before.
You weren't part of the club.
Ugh.
In battle to preserve sanity,
must remember following rules.
Number one, never breast
feed in a public place.
Two, never bounce Katie
on knee after feeding.
Ugh.
Three, try not to cry when she cries.
And four, the most important of all,
never assume trouble isn't
around the next corner.
- Laters, girls.
- Bye.
Rosie? Oh, no.
Tragic. Are you okay?
Tell me that's not yours!
No!
What, you're a nanny now?
Yeah! You know, at
least it's good money.
Uh, I thought you were
going to Boston with Alex.
Oh, no, no, no,
I realized children are
the only education you need.
So, who's the dad?
Ah! Oh!
Get it off! Get it off!
I've got to go!
Bye, then!
Alex.
What are you doing here?
Just back for the weekend.
Thought I'd surprise you.
Great! Uh, yeah. Let's
go for a coffee then.
Ah! No, no. Let's stay here.
Why don't you put the kettle on?
So, what have you been up to?
Oh, just this and that, you know?
Nice haircut by the way.
Yeah, thanks.
You okay? You seem stressed.
No! No!
Uh, so, how's medicine?
Fascinating. Yeah.
We've just been doing
obstetrics, in fact.
Really? Mm-hmm.
So much to learn.
How do you find these
breast pumps, by the way?
Some women don't like them.
Oh, total nightmare.
Oh, God.
How did you...
Bethany.
Fast work.
I was gonna tell you, Alex, I promise.
I didn't want to hold you back.
She's had colic for months.
My whole life is feeding,
winding and nappies.
All I can think about is poo.
How much, when, what color.
I hope you mean hers.
What happened to Greg?
He miraculously got a job
in Ibiza the minute he heard.
Can I be godfather?
I'd love nothing more.
I think not telling you
was a way to keep the
dream alive, you know?
So there was at least someone out there
who still saw me as Rosie.
And not this strange,
new person I've become.
So, the last time I
looked that depressed,
I tried to hang myself
with my favorite tie.
Hi, I'm Phil.
Alex.
I've been sent to play fairy godmother.
You don't look the part, mate.
My sister's been driving me crazy.
She wants to know, would
you buy her a drink?
Which one is she?
The hot girl from class? Sally.
The bright sunflower in
the family window box.
Hey! Hey!
Everybody has been wondering why
the cute British guy looks so sad.
Sorry.
It's time to realize
you're here with us.
And that we might be fun to be with.
Katie! It's your first Christmas!
I hope you got my present!
Thanks for the book, Alex.
I know she'll love it one day.
What is it?
This is my new apartment.
What's this you're doing here, darling?
Um, handmade hearts.
And here, we have my favorite
Back to the Future poster.
It would look so
special in the bathroom.
Walk to Mommy.
Come to me. Good girl!
Katie, darling, it's
your fourth Christmas.
Did, uh, Mommy get my Christmas card?
Really?
She wants me to tell you she
can cycle and count to five.
Three, four, five!
Me, I've got a job and finally
moved out of Mom and Dad's.
Miss Dunne! Welcome back to the hotel!
I believe it's the
penthouse suite for you?
That's right, thanks.
Mommy, Mommy!
It's the first day of school!
Um...
I heard some beds
were being stolen recently.
Isn't that strange?
Yes, Mommy.
This way, no one can
come in and steal ours.
Mm-hmm.
Are you my daddy?
No! No, he's just a nice man
that's helping Mommy
out a bit, that's all.
Damn! What?
It's the wrong key!
Ow! Oh!
My head! Come on, whinger!
Over there! Over there!
Come on, keep going.
Quick, quick, Mommy!
Excuse me.
Oh!
Love you.
Love you, too.
You dreamt you were an inanimate object?
Yeah, I mean, come on. An
arrow flying through the air!
That's pretty cool.
I don't understand.
How can you be a thing?
I don't know. I've always
had dreams like that.
It sounds to me like
self-esteem issues, sweetie.
You may need to talk to someone.
You know, there are razor hairs
in the bathroom, again today.
Really?
You know it gives me allergies.
Next time you have one
of your weird dreams,
maybe you should dream
you're something useful
like a vacuum cleaner.
We have a cleaning lady.
What do you want?
For her to think we're
a pair of fuck-ups?
That's exactly what we are.
Whoo!
You okay? I've got sand in my eyes.
Look at Mommy!
I dreamt I was an arrow.
What have you told the poor brat?
No! Just that he sent me a
ticket. I've got no expectations.
Well, good, because
he's got a girlfriend.
Although you know it's funny, her name
didn't come up once.
Yeah, well, Katie's
mature enough to know
that when it comes to
men, it doesn't matter.
Yeah, well, Katie also knows
that something must have triggered
his sudden enthusiasm to see her mom,
who, by the way, knows
him better than anyone,
and is clearly the best person to judge!
Oh, and, uh...
All right! All right! Good to see you!
So, tired? Hungry?
No. Why?
Come on.
Do you want another?
Um, yeah.
All right. I'll be back, okay?
So, you're new here. I'm Jonathan!
Rosie!
Rosie? So what do you do, Rosie?
I'm a mom!
Is that some kind of,
uh, performance thing?
You're a drama major?
I'm a mother of
a 5-year-old girl!
Cool! Cool!
Um...
Can I get you a drink or something?
A gin and tonic.
Cell? Car keys? Oh, dude. Come on.
Guys, guys, guys, no, no, no!
Come on, come on! Come on!
Please! It's gonna happen!
One, two, three! Okay, okay!
Rosie, Rosie, come on, come...
Can you give me a hand?
All right.
Come on. Come on! I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Oh.
You're looking way too
hot right now, Rosie.
Come on, all right, okay.
If you want it like that.
No, no, no!
- You stink.
- I stink?
You haven't bathed.
Bananas?
All right. One, two...
Any good? No, it's sort of...
Catch.
All right.
"You will live a long
and happy life. " Sweet.
Oh, can I switch?
'Cause you prefer mine? I prefer it.
I do, I do. I don't know
what I'm talking about.
Well, you do go here, so you probably
should know what you're talking about.
Strange to think that
I could have lived here
and been part of it.
But I don't regret Katie, you know?
I mean, how could I?
She's the most amazing kid.
The weird thing is
that she reminds me
more of you than Greg.
That's probably just 'cause I love her.
We should go.
Yeah.
- Seriously cute.
- Aw.
It was a ball of fluff.
No seriously.
Sally. Rosie.
Rosie, Sally.
Good morning.
Hi.
Wow. This should be in a museum.
Oh, it's nothing.
Just quail egg and asparagus
in filo pastry with a
cream of rocket sauce.
Well, my regular is baked beans.
Good old British baked bean.
Zero nutritional value.
Yeah. But good on toast.
Oh, you know I can't drink.
Of course.
But how are we going to cope without
the numbing haze of alcohol?
Why can't you drink?
If that's not a rude question?
Alex?
What?
Didn't... Didn't...
Alex and I are pregnant.
Twelve and a half weeks in.
That's wonderful.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Alex, you didn't tell me?
No, I... Sorry, I thought I did.
That's...
Oh!
Let me help!
Shit!
Ah-ah-ah!
Daddy's antique table! Alex, quick!
Oh, bollocks. Language, please!
Oh, fuck! No! Why can't
you just say fudge?
Oh, oh.
Look what you made me do.
It's fine. It's okay.
We have Herb's vernissage
in an hour... It's...
Everything is gonna be fine.
I'm so sorry.
Sally had this planned for weeks.
It's not for long, okay? I promise.
Sweetie? Dr. Jones is by the
sweet and sour prawn balls!
Look, he's just...
Sweetie, not now. Okay?
But he's a senior
thoracic surgeon, Alex.
She's right, Alex. Go on.
Okay, let's go. Let's go.
This image here is one of my favorites.
How to articulate that transient moment
when you see something
through the camera's eye.
It's a little like love at first sight.
Stops you in your tracks.
Suddenly you recognize
it for exactly what it is.
A load of bollocks.
Rosie! Rosie, where are you going?
Back home.
And I mean England. This
is too crazy for me, okay?
I walked straight into the
middle of something here!
Look, it's all fine, honestly.
Sally and I just needed
to air some stuff!
Oh, good, I'm glad you're
fine, 'cause I'm not!
We were out together
the whole night, Alex!
And all the while your girlfriend
was at home expecting a baby!
And you didn't say! Come on, Rosie.
Nothing happened, we were just...
We were just having some fun.
That's what you got me over
here for then? Just some fun?
I wanted to see you! For Christ
sake, you're my best friend!
Or maybe you needed someone from
your old life to point out the truth!
What truth? You're in a mess, Alex!
This whole situation is
one big bloody giant mess!
Me? I'm in a mess?
And you're in denial!
You're projecting!
Okay, can we just stop
the psychobabble here
and just talk like
English people, please!
Fine! Fine! Fine. Fine. Look.
I was worried you might find
it hard, you know, coming here.
Hard? I mean, you've
had a tough time, Rosie,
and seeing where we live, you know,
our apartment, our
lifestyle, it's just...
Okay! You thought I was jealous of you?
No.
I pity you, Alex!
All I see is someone compensating
for a crap personal life
by schmoozing his way
up the career ladder!
Crap personal life?
All right, let's see. Um, stable
relationship with beautiful girlfriend,
lots in common, a
great circle of friends,
a kid on the way, who's
gonna have two parents,
by the way, not one!
Rosie, come on, I...
Forget it, Alex!
Go ahead and climb your greasy pole!
You know, I will!
Just don't come whinging to me
when you realize you're empty inside.
No danger of that! Good!
Excellent! Fantastic!
Oh, no!
Pleased to see me?
What are you doing here?
You sent me Katie's drawing!
I got on the first flight I could!
No! No, no, no! I did
that on a whim, okay?
Katie drew the picture,
and it was a mistake!
I never expected you
to actually show up!
That letter really made
me think about my life!
I wanna meet her, Rosie! I am her dad.
Dad?
And what precisely is it that you think
qualifies you for that title? Those?
When she woke up with colic every
night for the first few months?
Or cut her first tooth,
or took her first steps?
Has anyone ever told you, you
have the most amazing eyes?
Look, I'm sorry, okay?
I get it, I bailed on
you. I was a total creep.
But there hasn't been a single
day in the last five years
that I haven't wondered what she's like.
Is she like me? Did she
luck out on the gene front?
You're so full of shit!
You have to give me a chance, Rosie!
I can be different, I promise.
Do you want me to crawl
on my hands and knees?
Anything, Rosie! I'm begging you!
If this were about me, I'd be
driving you to the airport right now!
You'd be right to.
One chance!
One chance, but any
mess-ups and you're out.
And you be nice!
And I don't just mean
average nice, I mean
Father Christmas-Easter Bunny-Tom
Hanks -All-rolled-into-one nice!
Yeah. And you will buy her
the most expensive pair of shitty
pink shoes that you can find!
I'm gonna Google them right now.
Woo-hoo!
Hi-five! Boo!
Whoo!
Wait a minute. You did what?
Hey!
This is a man who let you
go to casualty on your own
in the middle of the night,
with a condom stuck up your fanny!
He's Katie's dad.
You should see her little face
light up when he walks in the room!
They're really bonding!
Of course, none of that would
matter if he had a crap bod.
He's really worked on that thing. Wow.
You're evil, Rosie Dunne.
I just want to belong to someone, Ruby.
I'm tired of waiting.
And it feels good with him.
We're a family.
Can you just stop jumping up and down?
I'm just checking everyone's here.
Everyone being who, exactly?
How's the blushing bride?
Like a mad bunny.
Okay. Okay.
Oh.
Don't take this the wrong way, love.
But if there's any part of you that
isn't sure, even now, say the word.
We'll walk straight out of
here, our heads held high.
So you like Greg, then?
Come on. Let's get you hitched.
Do you like this?
Katie, would you please?
Mom!
Sorry.
Hello? Sally...
Rosie.
What can I do for you?
Um, is Alex there?
Did he not tell you?
Tell me what?
Alex and I separated.
What? When?
About eight weeks ago?
Pretty much the day of your wedding.
Oh!
Oh, God!
What?
What?
I think my water just broke!
Oh, God!
Wait, wait. Are you sure?
Maybe you just wet yourself.
No, I did not wet myself! Where is Herb?
Herb? Oh, God.
Who, the artist? Herb!
It's happening! The baby!
It's coming! Herb!
Katie!
Mom! You're supposed to knock!
The music! It's too loud!
Can't hear you! The music's too loud!
Don't do that! Yeah, this
music needs to be felt.
Is that lipstick you're wearing?
Privacy, Mom! Please!
Okay!
Now, have you got the
thermal underwear I gave you?
It's the Mediterranean.
Um, what about cash? I've
got some extra if you like.
Phone chargers? Your wallet, Dad?
Rosie, it's fine. Will you
stop fussing like a mother hen?
Yes.
Goodbye! Love you.
Get in. Love you.
Bye! Bye!
Bye.
So my parents have sold
up and gone backpacking,
nagging a 12-year-old
about lipstick.
I mean, seriously, could
you find further proof
of how fucked up my life is?
Bethany?
Rosie Dunne!
You work here now?
I just got promoted to reception. Ah.
Congratulations!
But you! Your success,
it's, uh... It's amazing!
I've just flown from Morocco,
tomorrow I fly out again,
New York, Boston, Chicago, nightmare.
The heart bleeds. Yeah.
Boston? You should look up Alex.
Really?
Alex Stewart? You guys
still keep in touch?
Of course. He could do
with a friendly face.
Great! I'll get his
details from you later!
Thanks. Oh.
Could I have some Evian
sent up to my room?
It's the only water I can drink.
Three bottles. And maid
service twice a day? Mmm.
Of course.
That's how fucked-up your life is.
Mom!
How is Nice? Have you found
some good places to eat?
Mom, are you all right?
I'm sorry.
I'm...
Mom, what is it?
It's bad news for you.
Mom?
Mom, what is it?
Hey.
Really?
Yeah.
When I heard, the years
fell away, I was...
I was a fucked-up kid all over again.
Hero worshipping this
amazing dad you had.
Sorry.
I never got to say goodbye.
Hey, come here. Come here, you.
Hey. Shh.
Hey, hey! Hands off my woman!
I've just been chatting to
your cousin. She is such a bore.
Seriously? Are you pissed?
I find funerals really difficult, Alex.
Ah, 'cause Rosie, I mean,
she's having a great time.
You know what? Fuck you!
Please?
Thanks for turning up. We both
really appreciate your support.
Let's go, come on.
Rosie,
you deserve someone who loves
you with every beat of his heart,
someone who'll always be there for you,
and who'll love every part of you...
Mom! I'm not going without
my grey skinny jeans!
All right! I'll get them for you!
"Rosie, you deserve someone who... "
Anything for me?
Uh, yeah, just this one.
In France, the day before he died.
Oh, God, don't read that. What?
Well, it'll upset you.
I'm already upset.
Right.
Do you want me to stay?
Funnily enough, no.
Okay. Well, call me if
you need anything, okay?
Dear Rosie, I can't believe it.
Here I am at last, finally
walking the Mediterranean coast.
I've lost count of the years
I've waited for this moment.
Somehow life got in the way.
And it was all good, I
don't regret a minute of it,
but we forget our dreams at our peril.
I know you had yours, too,
and it must feel sometimes
like they're gone for good.
But I'm so proud of the
woman you've become, Rosie,
of the mother you've been to Katie.
What I once said about
you is still true,
there's nothing you can't do
if you put your mind to it.
So keep chasing those
dreams, will you, darling?
For my sake, Dad.
How can someone just
not be there anymore?
Fuck knows.
At least he did everything he wanted.
He didn't forget his dreams.
What if I told you
I was gonna use my share
of the money from the house
and get myself a hotel?
Somewhere simple but...
But my own place.
I think that would be awesome, Mom.
Rosie, I understand that
you haven't been in touch.
And I just need to know one thing.
Are you happy with him?
There's not much I got right
in my life, but this family,
somehow we're making it work.
So I guess the one word answer
to your question should be,
"Yes. "
Hey! Hi.
So look at this. The Sweetlands Hotel.
That's where we had
our end of school dance!
Ah. They just joined our group.
And I was just checking for discounts,
and I found this booking...
That's Greg's name!
The bridal suite, for
this weekend! Mm-hmm.
He's already up there on business.
Do you think... For our anniversary?
Oh!
It's him. Mmm.
Hey!
Uh, listen, I'm gonna have to
stay here a few extra nights,
the guys need me to check
out some more venues.
Um, can you take Katie
and go to your mom's,
and then I can swing by
on Sunday and pick you up?
Babe?
Fine.
Cool, see you later, then.
Talk later. Bye.
Check the booking.
Here it is. Bridal suite for two,
checked in two hours ago...
Oh, Rosie, I'm...
Rosie! Rosie? What are you going to say?
Fuck!
"Rosie,
"you deserve someone who loves
you with every beat of his heart.
"Someone who will
always be there for you,
"and who will love every part
of you, especially your flaws.
"I know Katie needs her
dad. I don't want to intrude.
"So if this is all wrong, just ignore it
"and I promise I'll never
broach the subject again.
"Greg's not the man for you, Rosie.
"Twice I've let you
slip through my fingers.
"Let's stop being afraid
and take the chance.
"I know now I can make you happy.
"Call me if you feel the same way.
"Love, Alex. "
Bethany?
What are you doing there?
I live here now. I moved in.
Look who it is, Mr. Schnuffs!
Mr. Schnuffs?
Rosie?
Uh...
Hey... Baby, that thing we
were talking about earlier.
- Yeah.
- Ask her now.
Schnuffie...
Um...
Bethany and me,
Uh, we thought, why
hang around, you know,
um, so, she started
organizing the whole thing,
but then Phil said no, so
your name came up, obviously.
We're getting married!
It's fast, but we need to fit it
in before New York Fashion Week.
And you have to be our best man!
I mean, you are a girl but... Right?
This is all because of you,
Rosie. You told me to come here.
It wouldn't have happened if
it wasn't for you! Thank you!
Hmm.
It is so great having you as a friend.
I mean, every time something
goes wrong in my life,
all I got to do is look at yours
and it puts everything into perspective.
He proposed to her on a boat.
It's like Kate and Leonardo
in that scene on the deck.
The Titanic. Mm-hmm.
How appropriate.
Look, Alex is yours, he always has been.
This is just proof of ownership.
He wrote that months ago!
And anyway he's my best friend! No!
I'm your best friend! Get it yet?
We just keep missing each other.
Maybe we're just not meant to be.
Right. Let me just try and explain this
in a language you might understand.
Ship. Iceberg.
Ship hits iceberg.
Mayhem, horror, ocean of ice
and then Alex on the last lifeboat.
One space left. Is it Bethany?
Or Rosie?
Who's it going to be?
What? You're immigrating now?
Less time, more outfits.
You're paying excess.
I couldn't leave her behind and
wherever Katie goes, Toby goes.
Oh, are you two an item now?
No way. We're friends.
No way. We're friends.
God give me strength.
Well, come on, we're really late. Relax.
I hate arriving early,
and besides, we have a five or
six hour cushion on the other side.
Um, sorry, what's
going on? Volcanic ash.
I need to go to Boston!
I'm afraid it's a
five to six hour delay.
I think your cushion just burst.
Slow down! I'm not wearing a sports bra!
Okay, you guys, get your stuff!
Katie move it!
I'm coming, I'm coming!
Ruby, come on!
Mom!
And you thought the flight was rough.
You'll have to get dressed
in the van! We are so late!
Excuse me?
You get everything the
wrong way round over here.
And you are? Ruby.
A pleasure to meet you, Ruby.
Likewise.
Will you marry me?
Yeah.
What? That's not... That's not fair!
That's not... It can't
be that easy, it's not...
I think she wants all the
women around her to look fat.
Well, it works.
No, no, you don't know how hard it is.
Final word of warning.
Alex can hold his drink
to an almost lethal degree,
as I discovered on my 18th birthday,
when he decided a night of
tequila slammers was the way to go.
Whoo!
Well, you know when people
say that they were so drunk,
that the whole night is a blank
and you always go, "No
way, not possible. "
Well, believe me, it's possible.
Choosing a...
Choosing the person that you
want to share your life with
is one of the most important
decisions any of us makes,
ever.
Because when it's wrong,
it turns your life to grey.
And sometimes...
Sometimes you don't even notice
until you wake up one morning
and realize years have gone by.
We both know about that one, Alex.
Your friendship has brought
glorious Technicolor to my life.
It's been there even
in the darkest of times.
And I am the luckiest
person alive for that gift.
I hope I didn't take it for granted.
I think maybe I did.
Because sometimes you don't see
that the best thing
that's ever happened to you
is sitting there, right under your nose.
But that's fine, too.
It really is.
Because I've realized that
no matter where you are
or what you're doing,
or who you're with,
I will always
honestly, truly,
completely love you.
Like a sister loves a brother
and a friend loves a friend.
I'll always stand guard
over your dreams, Alex.
No matter how weird or twisted they get.
So, please, everybody,
join me in a toast.
To the bride and groom.
To the bride and groom!
Come on, show me what you've got!
No, please! Well, okay then!
Ready?
Here we go. You like it?
Baby, baby, what's up?
Katie?
Katie just... She
just went through here!
Katie?
Mom?
What are you doing out here?
Huh?
Toby kissed me, Mom.
Oh.
Is that such a bad thing?
Of course it is.
Hey. Look, I...
I was watching you two
tonight. You're good together.
You're a team.
Don't you get it?
It would be like you
two kissing or something.
I'll just tell him to
forget the whole thing.
Katie that...
That would be a big mistake.
Look, if you reject him now,
he's gonna make it his
life's mission to go out there
and meet the most perfect,
beautiful girl in the world
just to try and get over you.
And he'll end up
marrying this other woman
and spending the rest
of his life with her.
And you know, he'll tell
himself that she's perfect and...
He really must be happy,
but she won't be you, you know?
But you two never actually kissed?
Did you? Of course not.
Katie?
Toby!
I'm really sorry. Let's just
pretend it never happened...
Alex?
I only realized, uh,
tonight that you forgot.
Your 18th birthday,
about five tequila slammers in, I think,
before you fell off the stool...
So that's why you took
Bethany to the dance.
And you went with Greg.
Well, bye.
Okay.
Cheers!
It's so nice.
Your own hotel, darling.
Your father would be so proud of you.
Babe! Babe! We've got a visitor!
Do you have a room?
Yes, of course.
A single, for one night.
Welcome! You are our first guest.
Have we met before?
The condom came off inside my vagina
and at present I'm unable to locate it!
I don't think so.
Ruby, would you please see
our guest upstairs to his room?
Of course.
And free champagne!
All right, follow me and then...
Yeah, a brand new bed, and...
It's massive and you get to see the sea.
And it's... It's really pretty.
You'll love it. You'll love it.
Uh...
Hi.
Hi...
Uh...
Hey, guys!
- No, I want to see him!
- Come on, out. No, out.
I said out! Come on, out, out, out!
No, but I...
Um...
So, I, uh...
I guess I need a room.
Any baggage?
No.
I left it behind.
So your wife...
Won't be joining me.
We both knew it wasn't right.
Sea view or garden view?
I... recommend the sea.
Um, sea it is.
One room with sea view.
Um, Ruby would you mind
showing our guest upstairs
Sorry, chief, but I'm really
busy doing the files right now.
Um, please, follow me.
So, I had this weird
dream on the plane over...
Let me guess, you were
a clip on the seatbelts?
No, I know,
you were, um, a valve
in those annoying fans
that blow cold air on you? I
can never turn those things off.
No.
No, uh...
I was me.
And you were you,
standing where you
are right now, perfect.
And I took you in my arms,
in a manly kind of way.
Like this.
And said,
"Rosie Dunne, can I
take you to the dance?"
Better late than never.