There was a bunch of pigs right here.
Gosh, this looks like a junkyard.
Well, there's your mother.
Robert, you're a coward.
You're disgusting.
And you make me sick the way
you're hiding behind my baby!
This is not a baby!
This is Renee, she's my friend...
Yeah and I'm not a maid!
They're taking over the house,
cigarettes,
all the booze.
They're using the silver.
Put me down you turkey sandwich.
- Thanks for bringing my car back.
- Oh, you're welcome.
I'm Robert Harmon.
Hi, I'm Laurie.
They're in your bathroom.
They've got the jewerly
all over, the makeup.
They take baths whenever they want to.
Hi, garbage lady!
I'm Phyllis.
- Stop trying to organize me, okay!
- I'm not trying to organize you, i'm...
This place looks like it's going
to take three days to clean up.
- I'm Robert Harmon.
- Hi. Joanie.
You're a beautiful girl, Joanie.
Do me a favor, will ya kids? When you're
finished doing what you're doing, just clean it up.
Because I only have a secretary,
and she's a little annoyed right now, okay.
I'm Robert Harmon.
You're drinking champagne, that's nice.
So, just finish it up, and...
Oh, Hi, you must be Mr. Harmon.
I'm sorry, just having fun,
just playing you know.
There wasn't enough hot water.
Joanie's gonna sing
or recite.
This is champagne, that's orange juice,
make a little marmosa.
Hurry up, like that,
cuz we don't want to hold her up.
Just pour yourself something.
Put a lil "Champs-Elyses" in it.
You sell?
What?
Anything.
You sell love,
you sell drugs,
you sell poetry,
whatever. What do you sell?
- How old are you?
- 18.
You dance?
Charlene tells me you sing.
Yeah, I try.
What do you sing?
I write poetry
and I sing it.
Why don't you sing it?
I mean, you don't have to sing it.
You could recite it.
Just say it.
And don't look away, will you please,
because i'm going to record you.
What are you doing,
I don't know what you're doing?
See,
a beautiful woman,
has to offer a man
her secrets.
I mean, that is so beautiful
I can't tell you.
You see, everyone in the world
is very screwed up.
Now I know that you're not screwed up
And i'm not. And I know
the answer, and you know the answer.
But,
we can't tell them the answer
unless they ask us the question.
You see?
Tell me what a good time is.
A good time?
Yeah, you have to be with someone
to have a good time, don't ya?
Yeah, that helps.
Sex?
I think we do need that.
Yeah, for money.
You don't enjoy it?
You need someone to be with
to have a good time, don't ya?
Yeah, it helps.
Well, then tell me what a good time is.
Is it school?
Is it books, is it music, is it movies?
- What's the question?
- Good time, the best time, right?
Cooking.
I love to cook.
Cooking?
Cooking is the best time you've ever had?
Give me a break!
Give me another drink, over here.
I guess dreaming.
What do you dream?
Are you gay?
No.
Sorry.
No, I'm not.
It's okay. Don't worry.
You're safe here.
I'm Jill Dunbar.
The judge.
I'm Sarah Lawson.
This is my daughter Debbie.
Judge Dunbar?
Hi, I'm Milton Kravitz.
I represent Mrs. Lawson.
Have you two met?
Are you comfortable there?
Yeah, sure.
Sorry we're late.
Traffic was terrible.
You're beautiful.
Come over and sit here, please.
Why don't we have Debbie wait outside?
There is no reason for her to be here?
No, it's okay. I want to be here.
Sure, go outside Debbie. It'll just take
a minute and we'll call you right back in.
Jack, could she stay here, please?
I mean, she knows everything.
We don't want our baby
standing out in the hall.
We are in agreement on
the money settlement.
That is correct.
And Debbie has agreed to live with her mother,
there is no disagreement on that.
You sign these, we can finish quickly.
I have immediate plans to take Debbie
with me to Houston or New York.
I don't know when we'll be back.
New York?
Houston?
Where did that come in?
We're not gonna go to a funeral.
It's okay.
What is the understanding that you've
come to on this visit?
You see, we go to
a lot of funerals.
I go to funerals,
and hospitals
and some weddings.
You might say that's what I do:
I visit sick people.
Mothers, fathers,
sisters, brothers,
uncles,
nephews, aunts.
I don't have any relatives myself,
but Jack does.
Some of these are in Houston,
and Jack's aunt is in New York.
Which I would feel very uncomfortable
going to if she wasn't there.
But nobody died this time.
Just sick, you know.
People like Debbie and me
to be with them
when they aren't feeling well,
because we're cheerful.
Says right here: "Visiting privileges
every other weekend.
From Saturday noon til Sunday at 7.
Mr. Lawson will be entitled to take
Debbie Lawson
to where he resides or any
other reasonable place."
Wasn't that what you had agreed to?
You see Judge
when someone is temporarily insane
like Jack here is...
And he's a wonderful guy, but...
You see,
when someone is like that,
they don't want to see the
people that they really love.
Okay, I understand that.
A person who is sick has to get well
before he can be normal, right?
So, when Jack finishes his...
sleeping around everywhere,
and he wants to assume
his responsibilities,
he wants to be a real father to Debbie,
he can see her.
If Debbie is a very old lady when
he makes up his mind,
that's when he'll see her.
I don't understand.
You feel that your husband
should not see Debbie at all?
Ever?
Well, I object. I think Mrs. Lawson
is breaking the understanding.
I don't understand.
I don't understand.
He's the one that wants a divorce.
One of the reasons we're having difficulty
with something we've already agreed to,
is that my wife hasn't been cured.
I'm a very happy person.
My wife has been in and out of institutions
since our marriage.
That's one of the reasons why we're having difficulty
with something that we've already agreed to.
She hasn't been cured.
I have a problem. I...
I love my family. I love him,
and I love her. I love them, just them.
And,
when I can't be cheerful...
When you get a headache, or
you feel really bad.
I go to the hospital.
And I stay there until I feel that I can
take care of things again.
Just stepping out of the way for awhile.
Until his little sex things are over...
Whatever it is that causes me
to get the headaches...
Something like that.
Could I have a glass of champagne
in a crystal glass, please?
I love crystal!
I'm Phyllis. That's my stage name.
Lovely nails you have.
You're a straight
and a marvelous writer.
I just love the way you
write about loneliness.
You make it sound so
exciting and romantic.
I saw you in here last month.
Are you working on a new book?
Are you doing
something on us?
Yes, i'm writing a book on nightlife,
as a matter of fact.
Could I have your telephone number
please, your card, something?
Lucky boy!
Now is this for research or what?
It's uh...
She's beautiful.
You know her name?
Susan.
I think with all beautiful women,
they have a secret.
And the interesting thing,
is to get that secret out.
If they volunteer that secret to me.
Yeah, I guess.
I'm a writer,
that's why i'm saying that.
I know, I saw you on TV.
Haven't read any of your books, though,
don't have too much time.
- I did the cigarette trick...
- Watch the tablecloth.
Give me your glass.
What should we drink to?
I can't think of anything.
You're ambitious enough, I think.
When I came in here about a month ago,
there were these two
very cute little girls
that were singing along with you.
They were backup singers.
They're not here anymore.
And that bothers me.
- Does it bother you?
- No.
What time is it?
I want to write a book about you.
Why, you think I want to be a big star?
I've gotta go.
It was fun.
I like the way you move.
I really like the way you move.
I'm right here.
That's nice.
Give me your keys, give me your keys.
My dress!
You know what they say about
beautiful women. Their secrets.
They'll give 'em to you gladly, this is...
Where do you live?
Do you know where you live?
Get out, okay.
Get out of here!
Well then, move over.
Gotta get out of my car.
Get out!
Out of my car!
Enough, okay!
Come on! Let go!
Get out of here.
You're amazingly strong.
I'll drive, alright.
Where do you live?
I'll drive.
Make a right, at the corner.
Okay, this is fine,
this is fine, stop.
Give me the keys.
Give me the keys!
Turn off the lights.
Turn the radio off. Are you crazy?
Give me the keys.
Can you walk?
Come on, we gotta get off the street.
Put your arm around me.
You taking me to bed?
Where are we?
My house.
Perfect ending to a
lovely evening.
I'm alright.
I'm alright...
I'm usually a lot more fun,
i'll tell you that right now.
Come on darling, I want you
to eat some soup now.
Do the best you can.
Cuz i've got to get you out of
this room so the child can play.
Hi, Robert.
I'll be right with you.
Is that your mom?
I really should give you
a lot of money, but I...
A few thousand dollars will do.
I want to thank you very,
very much for what you've done.
You're very welcome. I was really
the one who did the most for you.
She wouldn't do anything.
I had to undress you.
You're the one that undressed me?
You took all my clothes off?
And you nursed me,
and you washed my shirt?
- Oh, thank you so much.
- You're welcome.
But I don't want you
to be a mother now.
Because it confuses me when a beautiful
women like you becomes a mother.
I'm not a mother really.
Good bye, thank you.
Excuse me, please.
I'm really sorry to be late.
Well, you understand.
Excuse me, excuse me,
excuse me, excuse me...
Okay. We can start.
Mother.
I want to go with my father.
I hate my life with you.
I hate going to see all
those dying people.
I hate being with those old people.
They smell.
Excuse me, could I sit there, please?
They smell?
When did you first decide
that they smell?
I want to go with my father.
I don't want to go with you anymore.
I don't want to be a slave.
Nice...
Nobody leave this room
until we find out what it means.
I can discuss it.
I have a lot of time.
What is it that you want to discuss?
Love.
We're dealing with legal matters.
And as painful as it seems,
this is usual in divorce cases.
Please, Mrs. Lawson.
I must ask you to sit down, please.
Roll her over on her side.
You're going to be okay, darling.
Just relax.
You're doing real good.
Just relax.
We love you. We love you.
Just relax.
So what do you think that is?
Loss.
You don't own anything. So how can
you lose something that you don't own?
Love is a stream.
It's continuous.
It doesn't stop.
No, it does stop.
Oh no, it does not stop.
Your love is too strong for your family.
I want you to describe your sexual life.
- I don't have a sexual life.
- You do.
I don't need a sexual life.
What other interests do you have
besides your husband?
He doesn't love you.
That's not true.
And your daughter who
chose him over you.
If you don't let go, and if you
don't get some balance in your life,
something creative, some sex,
I don't care with whom,
then you're going to have to go back to
the bughouse where you don't belong.
Go to Europe.
They don't know you there.
You have money, see something.
Be alone.
Meet someone, you're attractive.
Oh, thank god.
Will you help me, please?
I am American,
and I must have your help.
I have all of this luggage.
I'll give you $25 if you help me, please.
Listen to me. Listen.
You can understand me if you want to.
I have to get this baggage,
I have no one to help me.
Maybe you should get a carriage.
But I must get to track 9.
And i'm already late.
You'll take it for me, right?
You're not going to go away, are you?
You're coming back, right?
I'm going to wait for you right here.
I'll be right here, okay.
That's good. You're just fine,
just go on ahead.
That's it. Over a little bit to
the right. That's it.
Wait. Wait.
I've got it.
Are you taking a bus or
do you want a taxi?
No, I want a plane.
I'm going to go home.
I've got to get out of here.
Well you can't take a plane from here, love.
This is a train station, they roll 'em out of here.
I've got to get home.
Listen, would you do me a favor?
Would you make a call for me, please.
Would you telephone my husband.
I want to call him in
Chicago, Illinois.
I hate Europe.
Can I have the overseas operator, please.
- France was worse.
- I don't like that place much myself.
Yes, i'd like to place a personal call.
Couldn't talk to anybody there.
Who am I calling?
Mr. Jack Lawson.
In the United States.
What's his number, love?
Reverse the charges.
What's your name, love?
Sarah.
Here you go, love. They're ringing
right through. Come on.
I'm almost not crazy now.
I just don't care.
You alright, love?
I'm fine, I'm fine.
Hi, Robert.
How are you?
How have you been?
What are you doing here?
Well, I happened to be
in the neighborhood...
Actually I hadn't heard from you
and I wondered how you were.
Actually, my mother was worried about you.
I think she misses you.
Everybody's always worried about me.
Actually i'm fine, you can see that.
And I can't let you in.
It's okay, I don't want to come in.
Guess you have company.
You're right there.
I've got to go to work.
I wanted to ask you something.
Do you think we should see
each other again or what?
I'd like for us to be friends,
if you want a friend.
Take care of yourself, Robert.
Keep in touch, okay?
Oh, geez, turn the light off.
I'm going to kill someone.
What's the matter?
I'm looking for my white shoes.
White shoes. Did you see
Phyllis' big white shoes?
Underneath the kitchen table.
Get that, please.
So what?
Who was it?
There's a car coming
around to the front.
There is some lady and a little boy here.
And he's carrying a whole bunch of flowers.
They're coming up to the front door, Robert.
This is your son.
You owe him for four weeks.
You want this in one check,
or you want it in four checks?
One check.
Here is some flowers.
Thank you. But let me just get this...
Robert, I gotta ask you a favor.
Would you do it?
If it's for money, yes.
You asked me not to call,
so I wrote you 3 letters.
I just don't answer my mail.
My husband and I, we have a big chance to
raise some money in someone's big house.
We'll stay overnight.
And they don't want kids.
- You want me to take the boy.
- Yeah, overnight.
- Until when?
- We'll be home tomorrow at 2pm.
Alright.
You haven't even seen your
son since he was born.
I said yes, didn't I?
I'll be home Sunday night.
Today's Saturday.
I even have Albie's suitcase in the car.
Fine, let's get the suitcase and let's
get on with it. Come on, let's go.
Wave goodbye to your mother.
Flowers.
Really nice, wanna hold 'em?
Close the door.
I'm gonna introduce you to some people.
This is my son Albie.
I'd like to introduce you to Charlene,
who is my secretary,
my friend, my accountant
and her daughter Renee
who is also my friend.
- How old are you?
- 8.
Well, let's go.
Yeah, what do you want?
This is my son Albie.
He's going to spend the night with us.
Hi, Albie.
What's wrong?
Robert, go get him.
He's your son for god's sake!
- Alright, come on. Let's go.
- Mr. Harmon?
Don't call me Mr. Harmon.
That's insulting.
I know it and you know it.
- I hate you.
- Yeah I know, that's cuz i'm your father.
The boy still asleep?
Yeah, he's upstairs in bed.
Here's your check.
Thank you, darling.
Mary, Annette.
Thank you, I love you.
Joanie.
Joanie, i'm sorry Phyllis.
Charlene, have your numbers?
Take good care of these chickens, okay.
You take care, bye baby.
You're the man now, you take
care of these little children.
Goodbye kids, good luck in your new careers.
Bye bye, sweetheart.
We'll be alright, Robert.
You better get back to the kid.
You shouldn't leave him alone.
Are you awake?
Go to your right, then go right again.
Can I use your toothbrush?
Use your finger.
I want to have breakfast, but
I have to clean up first.
If I have breakfast without cleaning up I vomit.
You get through with this, you can help me...
get these empty cigarette packs off here...
and this stuff here, then we can eat.
All done.
Want a drink? Would you like
a Coca-Cola, or a beer?
A beer.
Would you like a little toast?
Did you run away because I was born?
No, I didn't even know you were coming.
I don't like men a lot, you know.
I'm a writer. I don't make money on men.
No one's really interested.
They're kinda boring.
When you're 14 I think you oughta...
hitchhike across the country,
go into a truckstop, stop there.
Have a cup of coffee,
and see what men are really like, you know.
Men. Not these people out here
with the suits and ties...
that kind of stuff, you know.
I had a picture of you.
My father tore it up.
My mother cried,
they had a big fight, and he hit her.
And they changed my name to
Albie Swanson, like his.
And mother cries all the
time thinking about you.
Please come back to her.
She sleeps with another
man every night, you know.
You know what that means?
She has had a baby by another man.
So, that part of...
that part of...
is over.
I don't like women anyway, you know.
I really don't. I like kids.
And I like older people.
Cuz they seem to have the secret...
They don't need anything.
You don't need anything.
They just want...
You're innocent.
And so are old people, they're innocent.
That's what I like about them.
Drink your drink here.
Come on, drink it down.
Hey, dad!
What's wrong?
Someone's here. There's a cab
outside. There's two cabs.
You go out there and you tell them
to go away.
I have a lady in the cab.
Paris.
Dad?
This is my son Albie,
from the second marriage.
Albie, Sarah.
Oh, my god.
I haven't seen you...
I haven't seen him since he
was in the hospital being born.
I would've brought you a present, only I
didn't know I was going to be here...
I didn't know you were going to...
I didn't know I was going to...
Hi.
- A load of trunks.
- Yeah, I see that.
Well take them all into the house, alright.
Alright Jim, let's get these bags.
Let's take it in.
I just can't believe it.
I can't believe I got here, I can't
believe i'm actually here.
I can't believe i'm seeing you.
You're nuts. You're really nuttier
than fruitcake. I love you.
Where do these bags go?
Bags go- you can put 'em on
the first floor or the upstai...
put 'em on the upstairs landing, alright?
Just, on the upstairs landing.
That'll be good.
How about a drink?
No, I really shouldn't.
Perhaps, well, one maybe.
One only, cuz I was flying
first class and...
- Well, this is not going to hurt ya.
- Make it a weak one, please.
Get a little ice. Need
a little ice for ya.
Put it in this glass.
Sorry, excuse me.
Do you like your father?
Well he happens to be a wonderful
person, everybody likes him.
- Will you have vodka, scotch?
- Yeah, just a small one really.
Albie's mother brought him over here,
cuz I haven't seen him
since he was born either.
We were just reminiscing,
going over old times.
Gettin' drunk.
And i'm gonna take him to Las Vegas.
Las Vegas?
You want to go?
Do you want her to go?
No.
- Okay, go get your bag.
- But dad.
Get your bad, let's go.
You want to see the rest of the house?
Come on, i'll show you the house.
This is the kitchen.
The kitchen.
- Can you drive?
- Sure I can drive.
Here are the keys to my car,
and you go down to...
you go down to...
out of the driveway, turn right,
go down right again,
then you hit Ventura.
And there's a big shopping center
down there and you can't miss it.
I read all your books.
Yeah, they're in the bookcase.
- They're all about women.
- I know.
What took you so long?
If anyone calls, just say I died.
Yeah? How long are you going to be dead?
I don't know. Couple of days, just say.
Who was that?
- Sarah, you mean?
- Yeah, Sarah.
Do you love her?
Not the way you mean.
Do you kiss her?
Not the way you mean, I said.
Imperial Palace.
Ah, Dean ! How are ya?
Here for a little R&R, or ya gonna
make an assault on us this trip?
- Ah, I got my bodyguard with me.
- Your a computer expert, I know it.
Albie, This is Dean Shindel.
Say hello.
Your suite's blocked and your
tux is pressed and on the way up.
Where would you like your bag, Mr. Harmon?
On the bed.
That's fine.
- Here ya are, my friend.
- Thank you, sir. There's your key.
- Your tuxedo.
- Oh good. Thank you.
Put it right there on the chair.
You have the shoes?
The shirt, the tie, everything in there?
- Anything else?
- No, no. Here.
How do you feel?
Okay.
Still a little drunk?
Stomach a little upset?
You oughta go to sleep.
Listen.
I'm a man.
And a man, is different
than a little kid.
I find it very hard
to go to sleep alone.
You know what I mean, don't you?
- Do you?
- Yeah.
Maid!
Can I turn down your bed?
Did you just get in?
Earlier.
You're all by yourself, huh?
You hungry?
A big boy like you is not hungry?
When did you eat last?
Where's your mom?
In Los Angeles.
Not right now.
Oh, I gotta give you checks.
Carla Friedricks.
Spell it.
Gotta see my son, you know.
Love is everything.
Love is everything.
Just remember that.
- Go.
- I love you girls.
Remember the Alamo.
Remember Smokey Joe.
Take me home, please. I want to go home.
I want to see my mother, my mom.
I want to go. I want to see my mother.
I want my mom.
Didn't I tell you? Didn't I tell
you I was gonna go out all night?
Didn't I?
I told you I was going out all night,
I was gonna be with somebody, didn't I?
And you said okay, right?
You said you're gonna be a man
and i'm gonna be a man, right?
No, don't do that!
- Didn't I say to you...
- I want to go.
Didn't I say to you, didn't I
say to you that I was going...
Wait a minute now. Didn't I say
I was going out with somebody?
Didn't I say I was gonna go find somebody?
I want to go.
I want to see my mother.
I want to go home.
I want to go.
- Get out. Where is your house?
- Right over there.
Albie, I just want to say i'm
sorry the vacation didn't work out.
Mom!
Albie, what happened to yourself?
Come on, what happened?
What happened, son. Did he do
this to you? What happened?
What did he do to you?
I'm Robert Harmon.
Eddie, stop!
Stop it, Eddie!
It's not your son, Eddie!
... your ass long enough ...
Stay there!
Dad, I love you dad.
I love you, dad.
Come on.
I love him.
He's my father, I love him.
Dad, I love you.
I love you, dad.
- He's your son, Robert.
- Too late.
Robert, he's your son!
Here we are, pal. 28 dollars.
G'night.
Susan called.
She called me?
That's your girlfriend, isn't it?
Uh, Robert Harmon here.
Yeah. You are Margarita.
You're the mother.
Well listen, i'm the guy that
got sick all over your house.
I thought i'd come over and have
a drink with you and thank you.
Don't argue with me.
I won't take no for an answer.
Be there in 20 minutes.
Fought with Albie, huh?
Yeah, well, life is a series
of suicides, divorces,
promises broken, children smashed,
whatever.
You oughta go to sleep.
I'm not sleepy.
It's only about 9 o'clock.
You look awful. Gotta get some rest, gotta
go out and get some sun, this is California.
Ya know, with kids I don't think
you can do the right thing.
I mean, you always think you know
just what's suppose to be, and...
You know what my shrink told me?
You know what this quack...
Watch your feet here.
You know the guy in Chicago.
He told me, his big advice
was to go to Europe,
to find some handsome guy,
to have a love affair,
if that didn't work, I was
suppose to be creative, paint.
Can we walk and talk?
Hey, I don't want to go to bed.
No more emotion now, let's go.
I'm not being emotional.
I just, i'm tired.
Oh, I wanna go- you're right.
I'm going to bed.
Very tired.
Get out of here.
I have to go. I have to see
this old lady about a house.
And I have to have a drink with her,
and I have to change my clothes,
and I have to take a shower, and I
have to be really neat, okay?
I'll have breakfast with you in the morning.
I'm gonna turn off the light.
What's all this, what are you doing?
I need some crystal glasses,
and some ice, and...
- I've got everything.
- You do?
Come on in.
Sarah.
Sarah, I need you.
I know this doesn't
make any sense, but
this house is very,
very empty without you.
I love you, you dumbo-head.
We're divorced, Sarah.
That part of our life is over.
I'm just saying that it's...
it's hard to...
tough to bring up a kid.
I know it doesn't make any sense,
but that's what you should be doing.
Goodbye, Sarah.
I want you to be patient with me because
I don't know exactly where i'm going yet.
How are you?
To tell you the truth, i'm...
Tell you the truth i'm very
concerned about my daughter.
Well, we're all concerned.
Oh god, you too?
Oh, i'm sorry, well...
You know all about
it too then, huh?
About it?
About the balance, and...
Tell you the truth,
this is my first time, and I...
i'm looking for the sex.
Well, you'll need bowling shoes.
Oh thanks, I don't use 'em.
Well, you're on lane 13, mam.
Hey, honey.
- You're gonna slip all over the place.
- Don't worry about it.
You want me to keep score?
You can if you want to, but it
isn't necessary. I don't keep score.
You don't keep score?
If I bowl a strike, I remember it.
Alright, give me one.
Give me one, come on.
Right down the middle.
Watch this.
You're better than Al!
You're better than Al! He's a bum.
My first husband- i mean, my only husband-
anyway, he loved to bowl.
Okay, lets see two in a row.
Five dollars, Al.
Two in a row, okay?
Okay. Brace yourselves.
She's doing better than you, Dottie,
i'll tell you that right now.
Don't wait, honey.
Don't wait. Just roll the ball,
ya gotta have a follow-through.
Just relax, just relax. What, Ken?
Let me tell you something, look.
Let me tell ya. If you stand up...
Now wait a second.
If you stand up, I got the ball right here.
You got no pressure, right.
No, wait a second now.
Now go ahead.
Just relax, okay. Take a deep breath.
Put the chalk, put the chalk on there.
Now watch this. Watch.
Pull it out.
It's alright.
- There you go.
- It was easy.
Isn't that crazy.
It doesn't hurt or anything.
Thank you.
- That certainly never happened.
- I'm gonna put it back.
No, i'm not afraid.
I've got another one coming.
Do you walk?
You're a good dancer, you walk?
I walk, I run, I do everything.
Okay you walk with me, ready?
You dance by yourself,
let me see your stuff.
I haven't done this for a long time.
Let's sit down like
ladies and gentlemen here.
Let's sit down here like
ladies and gentlemen. Hold on.
Let me seat you.
I'm sorry.
Don't get embarrassed ...
asses.
A beautiful light,
and a beautiful red dress.
Honey, you're late
Hello Frank, how are you?
Oh we were having such a party.
I'm sorry you came in so late.
Come on over and meet Robert.
We were having such a good time.
You asleep?
Are you okay?
Ya wanna glass of milk?
Tomorrow morning.
Give me a kiss.
Go back to sleep.
Honey, don't worry.
Billy is alright.
We were having such a good time.
I was showing Robert
how I used to dance,
but I couldn't make up
a good enough costume.
Mom, go to bed now, okay?
You go home, okay?
Party's over alright.
I gotta get up early tomorrow, that's why.
Goodnight, darling.
She's a wonderful woman.
She doesn't get a chance to go out
and show off a lot, you know.
I know.
Goodnight, teeth. I love you.
Goodnight.
I had a wonderful time.
A wonderful time.
Thank you.
You are the cutest guy I ever met.
You want some coffee?
Nah, no thanks, babe.
I had the most wonderful time tonight.
Yeah, you look happy.
What is creativity, Robert?
What is creativity?
No, I don't mean, you know, I know
you're a writer and you're creative.
People paint.
But I don't paint.
Would you consider cooking...
an art?
Cooking?
Yeah. I'm trying to find something.
You know, just something I could do.
I don't mean i'm the only person in the world
that can do it, you know, but just...
something that I could- something special.
You know like cooking, or...
Writing? You could do some poetry.
Write poetry.
No. Poetry, I love it,
but it's just so depressing.
I always get so low.
No, I don't think that's healthy.
I don't even know what i'm talking about.
Would love be considered an art?
Well, some people think so.
You're a writer, you're always
writing those books about sex.
Maybe you could write one about love,
I could help you with that.
We'll see how that works out.
I love you.
I love you.
I'm going to do this damned thing,
I really am.
I'm going to find balance.
And I think you should do it too.
I'm going to do something for you.
I'm going to buy you a baby.
Really.
You really need some...
living thing that you can love, Robert.
It could be just a little animal that you
could take care of and kiss and sleep with.
Please don't.
And you'd be balanced,
i'd be balanced.
Then I can go back to being
obsessive about my family.
You know what dad always said?
No, what did dad always say?
For every problem, there is an answer.
I'm not gonna have coffee,
i'm gonna take a bath.
I'm gonna go right to bed.
I'm gonna get up at dawn.
Goodnight, honey.
Mother?
Are you alright?
How can you ask me if i'm alright?
Did you find your sex, mom?
Is that what you were looking for?
Ask your father to come to the phone.
It's making me ill what
you're doing to dad.
You wanted the divorce.
Please call your father to the phone.
- He's asleep.
- Wake him up.
You think i'm afraid to call him.
Mother please leave him alone.
Listen to me. You do what I tell you,
and you do it right now.
Call your father to this phone.
Alright, alright. Fine, I will.
Just hold on.
You have no mercy.
Alright, that's fine with me.
But you leave our kid out of this.
This is our biggest and
it is our only problem.
Hey, i'm 13. I'm not a child, honey.
I know more than you do.
Jack, would you answer one question for me?
Do you believe that love
is a continuous stream?
Sarah, we have a little daughter
going through puberty right now.
And she's more important
than you are right now.
I'm not taking care of you anymore, Sarah.
We're divorced.
Please have the grace not to explain to my
sister what a divorce is. And stop lecturing her!
Well then don't call her, and leave her alone!
You're the bitch!
- You alright?
- I'm washing my face.
Love is dead.
Love is a fantasy little girls have.
I'm tired.
I just want to be by myself.
How old is she? 13?
I mean, is she 13 years old?
She's hit puberty for god's sakes.
That's whats happened to her!
You know absolutely nothing about children.
I don't intend to discuss my daughter with you.
You have a husband, right?
What's he in?
Is he in architecture? Architect, right?
He's just like me.
He's a guy. He's a man.
He loves women.
- He goes out with women. He has a good time.
- You're talking about a guy...
i've been with for 15 years, who's put food
on the table and clothes on her back.
We've had experiences of the heart
you couldn't even imagine.
You're talking about a guy who
held my hand in the hospital,
who cried when his baby was born.
Where were you?
Sarah, what are all these flowers doing here?
This looks like somebody died
and went to a wake.
Those flowers are from the garden, dummy.
I told you I was going to get you a baby.
And i'm over here at animal shelter-
Kiners something- getting you one.
I'm gonna change your life around a little bit.
You don't like me now, but
when I get home with what i'm gonna get
home with, you're gonna be crazy about me.
Was that your husband?
Your fiance?
Well I must say i'm very curious
as to know who it was.
That was my closest and my dearest friend.
And he doesn't want me to buy a baby.
- What does he want you to do?
- Oh, I don't know.
Actually, we're both pretty screwed up.
But I really think he's
in more trouble than I am.
Is he a tall man or a short man?
Listen, I better get going.
How much do I owe you for that telephone call?
I have some bunny rabbits.
I have a crow. A parrot.
I have a parakeet.
A parakeet is a wonderful pet for a man.
No thank you.
Now, you ask, I do have the one billy goat,
which you can see he's a very handsome fellow.
Then i've got the nanny goat,
You like goat cheese, perfect opportunity.
Then i've got these two ducks.
- Sweet. And i've got the mallard over there.
- He's a handsome rooster.
The rooster- wake you up every morning,
keep you company.
I was thinking maybe,
do you have any kittens, or dogs?
I do have one dog.
That's Lenny and that's Jim.
They are inseparable.
They don't get much work done,
but they are the best of friends.
And they seem to understand each other.
No, that's a nasty dog.
I don't like that dog at all.
Well, to look at him there isn't
too much in his favor.
No, there really isn't.
But he is a great dog for a man.
No, thank you.
No on that dog.
He is so much like a man.
And you admire, and you praise,
and the dog opens up,
And he's a warm, wonderful
and fine human being.
You are so strong!
Go ahead and try.
No, he doesn't know me.
Maybe I shouldn't.
Jim knows Mrs. Lawson loves him,
don't you Jim?
Come on, just give it a shot.
Don't be afraid.
Hello, Jim.
I'm Mrs. Lawson.
Try again.
Just try slowly.
Don't be afraid.
You don't want to scare me.
You're so much bigger,
and you're so strong.
And you're very handsome.
You're very handsome.
You look just like somebody that I know.
Yes you do.
Oh, look at that. Look at that.
Oh, is that a good dog. Look at that.
Oh, good boy...
He's terrific.
He's a wonderful dog.
A wonderful dog, yes you are.
Yes you are.
You look just like somebody I know,
yeah you do.
He is terrific.
That's, i'm gonna take him.
That's won- I want to take him.
And we've got the parakeet.
You know what I need now,
a little something soft,
little and soft.
Little and soft?
Goodbye, Jim. Goodbye, Jim.
Oh, this is terrific. This is just great.
That's it now. Here we are home.
Wait a minute,
can you take this one?
There you are, and this one.
And then the- i'll get the-
Have you got the leash?
I got it, I got it. Come on Rex.
That's a wild one you got there.
You come on a little easier.
Here we are.
Come on, we come home now.
Okay, now I want to show him the horses.
The chickens in the...
Alright, can you hold the goat?
No, i'll hold the goat,
and then you've got those still.
What do you think, huh? Is this nice?
Is this a nice place to live?
Oh, you're such good boys, yeah.
Alright, where's the duck now?
The duck I don't know.
Wait a minute.
You take that, i'll take- here,
I got the chickens.
Can you still get the duck or shall I take...
I'll have to come back for the duck.
What do you think?
You like it.
Are you good boys.
Come on, let's go see Robert.
I know this sounds crazy,
but I just got carried away.
I couldn't resist these...
These are miniature horses.
Aren't they small? Aren't they?
I was gonna only take one,
but then I figured they'd get lonely
and if you have one,
you might as well have two.
Anyway, the goat gives milk,
so that's not a waste.
And the chickens and the duck
will have eggs eventually.
And we can eat those and we'll
all live here at the park.
Well, we'll talk about it in a minute.
I'm gonna take these in and give
them a little food and some water.
It was really hot coming over.
It's going to be alright, Robert.
I'll talk in just a minute, okay.
- Have you got him?
- Yeah, I need a little hand with this one.
We're gonna stick you in the nice park.
Oh, you're gonna like this, you're gonna
like this, right in the shade.
We're gonna give you nice, fresh water.
Have you got the chickens?
Where's the duck?
Come on, boys. Come on.
Over here.
There you go.
Come on, chick-chick.
Come on, chickies.
Come on, out you go.
Can you get 'em?
Come on, you little rascal.
I don't know.
I don't know if this
is such a hot idea?
He didn't seem too
enthusiastic about my park.
I'm sure he thinks i'm crazy as a bed-bug.
What do you think?
I'm gonna get these little guys some water,
cool 'em off a little bit.
It's a plenty hot day.
Come on, oh i'm gonna show you
something nice, come on.
I'm gonna show you something
you haven't seen.
Gonna take you up to the high country.
You are such strong guys.
So delicate.
Gee, I hope i'm doing the right
thing for you fellas too.
Okay, just run, run. Run free.
Come on, Jim. This is it.
This is Lenny and this is Jim.
I need a drink.
Excuse me.
I'll take him.
Don't give me any trouble now,
don't give me any trouble now.
Dr. Williams?
Hi, i'm Robert Harmon.
So tell me, who is the patient?
Sarah had these two little
miniature horses,
and a goat,
and she didn't know that I was
going to respond so poorly
when she brought Lenny and Jim over,
so they couldn't find the duck and
the little chicks disappeared, so...
Excuse me, but where is she?
She's in here.
Don't be alarmed.
I'm Dr. Williams.
What seems to be the trouble?
I don't know who I am.
- Do you know where you are?
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Who am I, who am I?
Just a minute, just a minute.
Who am I? Who am I?
Am I your brother?
Am I your mother?
Am I Jim? Who am I?
Could you please step outside for a moment?
Here, take your bag.
We don't need you, alright.
I'll pay you your bill.
I'm sorry, goodbye, thank you.
Now just go.
Here is your bag, here it is.
Can I talk to you for a minute, please?
Come here.
Mr. Harmon, I think Sarah is in trouble.
Her eyes are not responding the way i'd
like them to, and her neck is stiff.
Now, you can do what you want, but i'd like
you to get her to see somebody if it's not me.
She's fine... thank you.
You're very welcome.
I'll let myself out.
Sarah, you're one of the greatest
people that i've ever met in my life.
I fed the horses.
I fed the goat.
You gotta get well. You're not sick.
I got chicken soup on and I put okra in it,
and I know you hate okra.
You're the best. You gotta fight it.
You're the best.
Nice hot cup of tea.
Come on, try this now.
Nice hot cup of tea, smell it.
You're crazy as a bed-bug.
You're not gonna make me laugh,
I don't have a sense of humor.
We'll see.
This is the most ridiculous,
crazy idea i've ever heard.
- You're pitiful.
- That's enough.
That is enough.
I want you to stand right there.
I want you to look right into my eyes.
You hear nothing but the sound of my voice.
Does my fox face mean anything to you?
Not funny.
Nevermind.
In 30 seconds, you are going
to be laughing helplessly.
You don't believe, huh, you wanna bet?
What do you bet?
A dollar.
Oh, cheapskate. What do you bet?
I'm the highroller,
i'm gonna bet, i'm gonna bet...
Love. I'm gonna bet the ultimate, okay.
First of all,
i'm going to give you a
drink of scotch and soda,
Want you to have a coca-cola.
Want you all to be in a very good mood.
But I don't care, I don't care.
I'm willing to take the chance.
Jack, what do you want?
Do you want mustard or ketchup?
Some people think that's my best joke, because
most people laugh just at the word ketchup.
Debbie, you open the peanut brittle, please.
While I show daddy this flower.
And here, i'm gonna put this up here.
Well you don't have a lapel,
but it smells nice anyway.
Anyway, i'm sorry, that was a dirty trick,
i'm gonna do something nice for ya.
You want some popcorn, sweetheart?
You want some popcorn?
I've got the popcorn.
I mean, it's real popcorn on a string.
How about the anniversary present?
Would I forget our anniversary, sweetheart?
It's a fancy pen.
Debbie, you think I forgot you?
I didn't.
Don't think I forgot you, Debbie,
cuz I never forget you.
And I know that the-
or at least last week,
it was your graduation,
and I know you like pearl earrings, don't you?
Come on, you like it?
I want to take a good look at both of you,
and I want to see what I see here.
I see twins, that's what I see. Twins.
You guys are a couple of- you really are.
A two of a pair.
This is for us.
Jack, this is for our old age.
Come over here and stand by daddy.
Over here, stand by dad.
I want to take your picture.
Mom, you're not funny.
Smile. Smile.
Hey Jack, look this way. Here you go.
That's it. Here we go.
Time is running up...
Are you ready? Here it goes.
Are you ready to laugh?
Just go inside.
We gotta get to Sarah's bedroom.
Come on, duckies.
I got the horses in,
and I couldn't get the goat.
I mean, the goat is just impossible.
You know, there are secrets women have.
A young girl...
And she comes up to you,
she's infatuated with you,
she always wants to tell you her secrets,
she volunteers them.
And she says: "I've done some nude modeling",
you know, so the delicate balance
of that relationship won't break.
If you're in love with someone
and the woman keeps the secret,
doesn't give it to you,
doesn't offer it to you,
then that part of her is always dead to you.
I'm gonna get that goat.
You alright?
Oh good, you look wonderful.
You really do.
Wanna come out with me?
See the goat?
You promised me
that I would be the only one.
How I missed you.
Mama.
In love,
i'm not sure of...
of me.
And that, i'm not sure of...
of you.
I'm not sure of love.
I'm not sure of me,
of you.
Mama.
Let me know.
No, Debbie, don't go.
Come back, baby.
I love you.
She's a killer.
You know she'll kill you.
I love that face.
And I will be the only one...
to love that face.
The only one.
You promised me.
So I love that face.
I love you...
both.
I had the most wonderful dream.
Where's Robert?
Robert?
Are you out there?
I'll be right in! Don't come out here!
I've come to the most fantastic
new understanding with Jack.
I've made it up with him,
and with Debbie too.
Talked to him on the telephone,
or you dreamt this?
Look, i'm not kidding around.
I do not want you to go to some guy
that doesn't love you.
I love you. And I want you to stay here.
And I want you to stay here forever.
I'm taking care of the animals,
i'm taking care of everything.
- I'm gonna get a plane tonight.
- No.
I have to.
I have to.
Who the hell is that?
Who the fuck are you?
- Who are you?
- I'm Ken.
Hello, doggy.
How are ya? You're Robert?
- Want a drink?
- No, thank you.
Ken, hi, how are you?
Thank you for coming.
Could you help me upstairs.
I have a whole bunch of stuff up there.
I really appreciate you coming.
I know it's a terrible night,
I just have so much stuff,
I don't know what to do with it.
That's right. Get him.
Go upstairs. Come on with me.
Kill the big man.
Speak. Speak.
Get him. Get him.
Come on, Jim.
Get the big man. Come on.
Chicken shit.
Wanna listen to music?
Wanna listen to music?
I don't want you to go.
I love you.
You're the only one I love.
Don't you "shush" me. Who the hell
you think you are to "shush" me?
I don't want you to go.
You're gonna go out in all this rain?
I'm gonna stay the night with Ken, okay.
The trunk won't fit.
Leave it, just leave it.