1
Hey, no I just left. I know, I
was waiting for Johnny forever
and then he never showed up. So
basically I just left.
I know. I know. But
whatever it's fine.
Ok cool, I'll see
you soon. Bye.
I don't have to fight you
any more.
All right. Thank you guys.
Good night.
You guys put a smile on my face
today, so...
Oh well, good. That's what
we do.
- You guys are so good.
- Thank you.
I feel so bad that I didn't
get there earlier.
I got like one song.
- At least you made it.
- Yeah, you made it.
You were there. I saw you walk
in. It was totally fine.
I guess I should load up the
car.
Need some help?
- These things... like I got this crazy idea...
- I don't know.
I got PVC pipe,
- and I put it together with old Halloween costume stuff.
- Wow!
- Yeah.
- Wow.
- It's really crafty.
- Yeah.
- You guys are touring or something right now?
- Uh huh. Yeah.
Yeah. We're heading back to
Austin now.
- We're gonna play a couple shows along the way, but...
- Wow.
I'm looking forward to getting
back. I miss it.
It's like, laid back.
It's fun,
- and good, and...
- Have you been?
- To Austin?
- No. Not really.
I mean, I've driven through Texas,
but I haven't spent any time
in Austin.
Oh, you should do...
Austin is amazing. Hey!
- I think we're gonna go soon.
- Okay.
Should we pack up our stuff
and whatnot?
- Hello. Nice to meet you.
- Hey. Hi, I'm...
- I'm Nicole. I met you...
- She's Nicole?
- This is the one I was telling you about.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Hi.
- How are you?
- Yeah, and this is my friend Allie.
- Allie, yeah.
Allie. I'm sorry
my hands are wet.
Mine too, a little bit.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you too.
- You guys were so good. Thanks so much...
- She liked it.
- ...for keeping me entertained tonight.
- No, thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
I guess...
I guess we should go.
- I'll go get the stuff started.
- Yeah.
- Can I just come and talk to you...?
- Yeah, no.
I'd love to talk to you
for a minute. All right, I go.
- It was so good to meet you!
- Yeah. You too.
- Hug me. I'm so glad we met.
- Oh, I would love to.
- My door's always open. You know.
- Okay. Great.
- All right. I'll go do that. Don't take all night.
- Okay. No.
No. I'm gonna finish my beer.
So how's the tour going?
- You guys are in New York.
- Good, yeah. - You like New York?
- Yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah, a lot. I love New York.
- It's pretty cool.
- Yeah.
- It finally stopped raining, huh?
- Yeah.
You're from New York?
Um, I'm not from here, but I've been
living here for the past six years.
- Okay.
- So...
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Hey. I'm sorry.
- Sorry I'm late.
- There you are.
- What's up?
- Hi. How are you? - How you doin'?
Hey.
Can I have some of that?
Thank you.
- Oh, um... Clark, right?
- Yeah.
Clark, this is Johnny.
Clark Griswold?
From the movie.
Uh... Chevy Chase.
Oh, he's just in the band
that was playing...
that you missed...
Well, it wasn't my fault.
If someone would've answered their phone,
then maybe they would have told me.
But it doesn't matter, because
I just saw Quentin James.
- You know Quentin James. You're in a band.
- Oh. Yeah.
You do know Quentin James?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
So then, he knows.
That's who I just saw.
And guess who we're seeing
tonight?
- Dabne's Colon.
- Right.
Yeah.
You don't look excited.
It's just been a long day,
you know?
No, I know, but this is
the whole thing.
- No, I know. It's just...
- I'm making this up to you. We're gonna go.
- We're gonna have a good time.
- All right.
Okay.
Good. You good to go?
- Sure.
- Good.
- It was really nice to meet you.
- You too.
- You're a good man.
- Your name, sorry? - Johnny.
Johnny Five.
It's from another movie.
Doesn't matter.
Are you good?
- What's that?
- Are you good to go?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Okay.
I've been waiting
for a long time.
- I've been calling for a long time.
- Um... I...
But this isn't a conversation that we
need to have in front of him, so...
we can go.
- No offense.
- It was really nice to meet you.
- No problem at all.
- Sorry.
- Okay.
- Okay. - Why are you sorry?
- Have a good tour.
- Yeah.
Okay.
Bye.
- Okay. Nice to meet you.
- Griswold.
Johnny Five.
What an asshole.
I'm sorry.
I am.
I should have been at the show
on time, and...
I should've answered the phone,
and...
I mean, I did try...
it doesn't matter.
Yeah. You say that, but...
It's clearly, you know...
- Actions speak louder than words, so...
- I know.
But I'm... I'm...
I'm gonna change.
And I mean, like...
for good this time,
you know? Like...
You know what we're gonna do?
- Tomorrow...
- What are we gonna do?
I'm gonna bring my laptop, or
you know what, we can use yours.
But we're gonna, we're gonna
craigslist.
And we're gonna actually find
you a real job.
Shit. Hang on.
- Yo.
No, I'm with her now.
I'm with her now.
Yeah, and we're...
Hello?
You fuckin' joking?
Dude. Seriously.
FUCK!
What?
Okay. Okay. I'm gonna call you
back. I'm gonna call you back.
When he said
he could get two tickets...
He meant for him and me.
Yeah. No, I know.
- I... I'll...
- Oh my god.
I know.
I'm not kidding though.
I don't know what I'm
supposed to do right now.
I'm not gonna go without you.
Bullshit. You're gonna go.
Well...
You're gonna do this thing,
"I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go."
And then you're gonna go anyway,
so whatever.
Little, like... They're gonna be
playing in small clubs, and then,
because they're starting the
arena tour,
and it's the last time that any
of us get to see...
Okay, so don't make it like,
sound all sexy to me or whatever.
So then it's gonna suck. It's gonna be
the worst show in the entire world.
I hate you. I fuckin' hate you.
Do you think I could take the
umbrella?
Just because I'm going to the show and
you're gonna... It's gonna rain today!
- I hate you!
- No, no. I know. Seriously...
- It's gonna rain.
- You are so annoying.
But seriously, can I have the
umbrella?
- Yes, take the stupid umbrella.
- No, don't be mad.
Don't be mad.
Look, look, look.
I made this dance for you.
I did it, and I'm dancing and stuff...
- I hate you so much right now.
- Are you mad?
- I hate you.
- I love you.
Yes, I am mad.
But go to the show.
Are you serious?
Yes.
Thank you.
I love you very much.
I'm going to the show!
I'm going to the show!
You're SO stupid.
You're trotting like a girl!
Hot to trot.
Oh fuck.
Jesus.
Oh fuck.
Hey.
Something really bad happened.
So we've got a 28 year old
young woman walking by herself
at 1:30 in the morning in...
you said east Williamsburg?
Yeah.
What address were you at?
I don't quite...
Like, maybe Normand...
I think...
Is that a street or an avenue?
Normand Avenue.
It's right around here.
I've been working in this
precinct for three years.
I've never heard of Normand
Avenue.
You mean Norman Street?
I guess. I don't know.
And you live in this
neighborhood?
Yeah. This is where I live.
- This is your house?
- Yeah.
All right. So what's going on
here? What happened?
I was just walking home.
There any witnesses?
No.
There's nobody with you?
I... no.
So you say you were attacked by
two animals in Bushwick?
Yeah. They were wearing masks,
yeah.
How much were you drinking?
I had, like, a beer at the show.
Uh huh. What kind of beer?
A... Coors Light, I guess?
- From a keg? From a bottle?
- It was a can.
- A can.
- Yeah.
A can of Coors.
And then you were attacked
by a kangaroo.
One was like
a kangaroo type thing,
and I don't know, the other one was
like a lighter... lighter animal.
A lighter colored animal? Are you talking
about a lighter colored black animal?
Or a lighter colored Latino
animal?
You're just lucky
I didn't want to fuck.
Allie?
Yeah?
- You okay there?
- Yeah, I'm okay.
I know. It's like,
getting redder, huh?
Sweetie, that is gonna be...
the biggest shiner you have
ever had.
I know.
Let me get you some ice, okay?
Okay.
You've had a night.
You should...
You should probably call your
mom.
If you haven't.
I don't have her number.
Oh God! Sweetie...
I've got to call my grandma.
It's okay.
It's okay, it's okay.
What the fuck? You know?
It's like not only do they
steal all your shit,
but they like, beat
the shit out of you.
They already had my purse.
They didn't need to like,
punch me in the face,
and like, kick me in the ribs.
I just wish that something
really bad could happen to them.
I hate this city.
I hate everything
about it right now.
- Hey.
- Hey!
Come on in. How are you?
You okay?
Yeah.
All aboard, gang?
Hey, welcome.
Jesus. I mean, what happened?
I know. It's really gross,
right?
We just saw you.
I know.
I can't even believe it.
Well, what happened?
Oh, I basically got beat up
and robbed last night,
like, two blocks from my house.
See?
That happened.
You guys are really cool for
taking me, by the way.
- Yeah, no. Talk about a good time.
- Oh, of course.
I'll figure it out
when I get there.
You're fine, which is the
important thing.
Do you... I feel like we need
beer or something.
Drinks would be nice. We should definitely
get drunk at some point in this adventure.
Oh, that will happen.
Don't worry about that.
Smell my finger.
NO!
It smells like spicy pickle.
Maybe if you'd fix the speedometer,
we could go faster.
Maybe if I had the money,
I would.
I'll give you my cash
from the next show.
- Big RV!
- Big RV! - Big RV!
Pick a letter.
R.
S.
Oh man...
- You are really bad at this.
- What? Why? I guessed every one...
One, two, three...
KARATE!
Have you been to Mississippi
before?
No, definitely not.
I don't even think driving
through it, ever.
All right, kiddos.
- Uh, do you have change for a twenty?
- Yeah.
This band's... rockin'.
I'm glad you like them.
I feel it in my groin.
It's a little bit of
a Van Damme there.
Oh, my knee.
- What's up?
- Not much, man.
The hot dogs are fucking
amazing.
We had to have hot dogs.
- What you need?
- We're about to head out, so...
this is where
I need to get paid.
Oh right. Yeah.
- You got it?
- Yeah.
I got it right here. 47 bones.
American.
So how'd we, uh...
we do?
47 bucks.
47 bucks?
Like 16 bucks a person?
I mean, it could be worse.
You mad?
I'm not mad. I'm just...
We've only got to get to
New Orleans, right?
I mean, we won't make money,
but we'll make enough for gas.
Yeah, that was
the original plan,
but that show actually
just got canceled,
so we're... we...
we don't have that.
- New Orleans got canceled?
- New Orleans got canceled.
Yeah.
FUCK! FUCK.
FUCK. FUCK, FUCK. FUCK!
Yep, sure did.
Here we are.
- Oh, it's so cute.
- Thank you.
This is me.
This is your bed, right here.
- This lovely couch.
- Perfect.
TV, books.
If you want to read.
- Drums. Don't touch them.
- I won't.
I'm just kidding.
Sort of.
Bathroom is around the corner,
to the left.
- Are you thirsty?
- No.
I'll do it. I can...
get my own water.
- I'm so glad you're here.
- I know!
You're so sweet for taking me
in like this
and taking such good care of me.
- Sleep well, okay?
- Okay.
You too.
It's every time, man.
...parking lots, we never
get paid.
Fucking costume.
It's uncomfortable to wear.
Pulling it off, putting it on.
Every single night.
I mean, I love playing in the
band with you guys.
I just...
I... I can't do it this way
anymore.
I can see that.
Whatever your decision,
I respect it.
You should call Zoe, you know?
Because she's going to be
really upset at you.
- The band's very important to her.
- Yeah.
- I'm really sorry.
- Hi.
It gets really hot here,
so I need to get started early.
Oh, right.
Are you living here now?
Is Zoe still there?
No, no, no. Zoe's here.
I'm just staying with her
for a week or two.
Okay, well...
Sorry.
Um...
Since you are up,
can I ask you a favor?
Yeah, sure.
What do you need?
I've just got to get some bags
out of the truck.
It's just really light
peat moss.
Yeah, let me just put shoes on.
Okay, I'll meet you out back.
I'll drive the truck around.
My name is Sarah, by the way.
Oh hey.
I'm Allie.
What are you doing here?
What am I doing?
In Texas, you mean?
Yeah.
Um...
Just...
Hanging out.
I just decided to come here
with some friends.
They gave me a ride.
So how long are you gonna
be here?
I don't know.
Week or two? Three?
It depends.
Do you want a little work?
Because I'm starting another...
kind of big job tomorrow
and I don't have any help.
- Like landscaping work?
- Yeah.
I've never done it.
I don't know how to...
- I wouldn't know where to begin.
- It's not that hard.
If you can lift those bags,
I mean...
It's gonna be some digging.
I'll be there,
so I could just tell you
what to do as we go along.
Um... I just feel like
I'd mess something up if I...
It's landscaping.
It's not that complicated.
It starts early in the morning
though.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
I mean, no. Fuck it.
I should do it. I'll do it.
I'll do it, but just be patient
because I don't know how to...
I've been living in Brooklyn
for like, six years, so...
I, I don't...
I don't have plants, even.
All right, well...
Um...
- I'll...
- Good morning, glory!
- Hi.
- I found you.
I thought you ran away.
- Hey Zoe.
- Sarah, how's it going?
- It's good.
- Good.
- So you've met?
- I just got a job.
- You got a job?
- Yes.
- I'm gonna be a landscaper.
- Already?
You're gonna be...
No, that's great. That's great.
That's really nice of you.
Just for like a week or so,
right?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
I mean, like,
she's doing me a favor.
I have so much work to do and
I just need somebody, so...
No, I dig it. It's great.
Awesome.
- So, um...
- What?
So, it's not far from here.
I'll just...
- I'll text Zoe.
- Okay.
- The address, so...
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Okay. - Awesome.
Want to do something fun?
I think we should celebrate.
- Okay.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Something Texas.
- Right now?
- Yeah, right now.
- All right, so take this.
- Um, yeah.
Here, which one you
want? Take that one.
- Let's go. Do you like beer?
- Yes.
We should get beer.
Can you buy beer right now?
Literally?
I don't know. You live here.
All right. You like water?
- Where are we going?
- I'm not telling.
It's a secret.
I think he was serious.
About the band and everything.
I think...
I don't know.
Have you talked to him?
No.
I know, but he's gotten mad
before.
- I just think that this is one of those things where he gets...
- Not this way.
Yeah, but not this way.
He's serious.
He's out of the band.
We're gonna be good.
We're gonna make it.
- It'll be okay.
- You know?
- Everything's gonna be okay.
- Yeah. It's me and you.
- He needs his space.
- You're still my best friend.
- You're my best friend.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- I'm not worried.
- You're okay?
- Are you worried?
- I'm not worried.
- I'm not worried.
- I'm just a little bit sad.
- We'll be okay.
- You're okay?
Promise me
you'll have fun today.
Yeah.
At least today. We'll figure
that shit out later.
Don't leave me.
Okay, y'all ready to go tubin'?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Okay. The main thing
you watch about
- is when you get on the rapids...
- Yeah.
Is where you see the roughest
water...
That's where you know it's gonna
be the...
Most fun?
Well, fun, or you can get
hurt on it.
And always try to keep your
head out of the rocks
and everything.
And don't go doing
no stupid stuff
like climbing up the cliffs
and jumping off.
A lot of people think it's deep
water, but you never know.
- There may be a log hidden under.
- Yeah.
- And it's where snakes live.
- Yeah.
- Snakes?
- Snakes?
Yeah, and then when
you get into their home,
they can be real offensive.
Welcome to Texas,
100 ways to die.
- Most of them are on the water.
- Yeah.
They'll bite you, but...
Then you might have to get you two
or three people to take them off.
What? Really?
Yeah, they got fangs, and
when they bite you, they...
You're scaring her.
She's from New York.
Need me to put anything over
here?
Yeah. I'm gonna put my shoes
over there.
It takes at least as long to
get in the water,
as it does to actually...
First you have to discuss
where your shoes go.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
If you have enough sunscreen
on...
Genius.
Yeah!
Hey, thanks for letting Allie
stay with you, Clark.
I'll be back in just a couple
days.
Okay.
- Take care of her now.
- See you later. - Bye, you.
- I had fun.
Thank you so much.
- Well, have a good time.
- - Yeah. Of course.
All right. Cool.
Watch your head.
- Are you okay?
- Yes.
I just hit my head on that again
for like, the 8,000th time.
- Oh, no way.
- Ah!
Oh no!
What happened?
SHIT.
- Shit, shit, shit.
- Oh my god.
Madre.
- Somebody broke into it?
- They took my laptop.
FUCK.
No way.
That's...
I can't believe that.
I'm so sorry.
Should we call the cops
and report it or something?
I don't think so.
It's just a window.
You know?
- Yay!
- Yay.
All right.
Yeah, please.
What are you thinking?
My grandma used to own
a Mexican restaurant.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
For 25 years, actually.
Oh...
That's amazing.
Where?
Sacramento.
Guess what it was called.
I don't know.
Tortillas?
You never hear that word.
Jovera's...
Jovera's Mexican Restaurant,
home of the famous Bandito.
What the?
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
- Are you close with your family?
- Yeah.
Yeah?
Mostly my mother.
Me and my mother keep our
family together.
Always.
My father is always very quiet.
So he's living in his own world.
And my sister and I,
didn't really have like,
a close relation...
but when I came here,
it became closer...
I don't know why.
I want to go to Mexico.
It sounds fun.
You must be tired.
Yeah. I'm pretty tired.
It was fun today, no?
It was fun,
until your car got fucked.
I feel terrible about that.
You can sleep in the bed
if you want.
No, no, no.
I'll just sleep on the couch
or something.
No. You should sleep on the bed.
- It's more comfortable there.
- No, it's fine.
I can...
The couch is...
more comfortable than...
my bed in my apartment, so...
- It'll be fine.
- Yeah, but...
My bed's more comfortable
than this couch,
that is more comfortable...
Your bed.
Your house.
We'll see.
I'm glad that you came.
You can stay here as long
as you want.
Thanks.
Leave me ALONE!
Hi.
- Hello, hello!
- Ed.
- Yeah, and you're Sarah.
- Hi. Sarah. Yeah.
Hey, thanks so much for coming
out on short notice.
Oh, no, no.
The droughts made the ground
really, really hard.
I have some ideas about that,
so...
- we can talk about that?
- Really?
Yeah, that'd be great.
I ran into some concrete.
I'm guessing it's a foundation
that was here, you know...
before this house was built.
I don't know.
Can you do something with that?
Can you get that concrete out of there?
All right. I guess we should
just grab the shovels.
- Okay.
- And get going.
Well, thanks for coming out,
Sarah.
Oh no, no problem.
Whatever.
Is that everything?
I think that's it.
Yay!
Holy shit.
Yeah.
Today was unusually hard,
- Was it really?
- Yeah.
Okay, good. So I'm not just the
hugest pussy in the world?
No.
You are a total badass,
by the way.
I can't believe you do this
shit every day.
- Want some water?
- That was the hardest work I've ever done in my life.
Not that I'm complaining.
It was kind of... good in a way,
but...
You know.
I forgot about your black eye.
Oh yeah. Me too.
That's right.
It looks really disgusting,
probably.
How'd you get that?
Well, these two guys beat me up
and robbed me in New York.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Oh, that sucks.
- I know.
It does suck.
They were wearing these masks
and just grabbed my purse,
and like, kicked me in the back,
punched me in the face...
Oh my god. I'm so sorry.
Yeah.
So you came to Austin during
the drought?
Yeah. Yeah.
And then Clark's car gets
broken into last night.
So... I don't know.
It's like...
Bad luck is following me or
something.
That's quite a cigarette.
- You want some?
- Yes please.
Here.
I don't normally smoke,
but I think Austin's gonna start
making me smoke.
- Hey!
- Hello.
- You made it.
- Hey!
- It's good to see you again.
- Allie, good to see you!
- Oh my god.
- Anybody want a beer?
- Hey, I'm Mike.
- Nice to meet you.
- Hey Mike, how's it going?
- Good. - Good.
- Hi. I'm Allie. Nice to meet you.
- Hi. - Hey lady...
and the intent all along was
to eat them.
And then after about like,
maybe...
I don't know, like two or three
months of having them,
we decided to kill
the first pig.
- And I...
- That sounds delicious.
Right, okay. It was super good.
But so, my roommate's
basically like,
covered the entire living room
in plastic sheets.
- Like, like Dexter?
- Yes.
- Sounds okay.
- Oh, a beer...
Thank you so much.
Okay, so you got Charlotte a
beer. Did you get me a beer?
- Yeah.
- I see how it is.
- I see how it is.
- Then, well... you want to share?
- That's the end of that.
- No thank you.
Come up here, pal.
Come here, pal.
Do we have a thing
to open these,
or are they supposed to just
twis...
And they had a bowl of donuts,
and the idea was that the pig
would stick its head
out of the cage
just far enough to get a donut,
and they would shoot it
in its head.
And so this happened in my
living room.
But the donut thing didn't
really work out that well.
I mean...
I hopefully won't ever have
to use it, but...
it's what I have my gun for.
You have a gun?
Bullshit!
Bullshit?
What's this?
- Yeah.
- You brought a gun to a pool party? What is your problem?
- What are... Put that away! What?
- Excited!
Is it loaded?
- OH MY GOD.
- Pearl, stop it!
What are you doing?
Put the gun away!
Put the gun away!
Chill out! God.
- Pearl, put the fucking gun away.
- What is your problem?
You can't just go around
slinging your gun out of your...
- Okay, okay.
- Pearl! Pearl!
- What are you doing?
- What?
I don't want to get an inch
closer to you,
you crazy hick,
but I am coming closer.
Okay?
I just want to take you in
my arms.
- I just want to take you in my arms...
- No.
...and slap you in the fucking
FACE. You're gonna kill someone!
- That's not nice.
- It's not nice.
- Stop holding the gun!
- Put the gun away.
- What is wrong with you?
Take it. Jesus Christ.
You guys need to chill out.
Why do you have that?
Why do you even have that?
Why DON'T you have one?
Because, do you know you can
get killed more easily,
if you have a gun?
It's a proven statistic.
Like 80% of the people that
have guns get shot.
That is not a proven statistic!
Like 1% of people
of gun deaths are actual like
self... people using...
self-defense... I don't know.
You guys...
I am so sorry.
- It's not a party until someone pulls out a gun.
- She's fucking nuts.
Are you okay?
No, I'm fine. There's no reason
to be sorry.
I know she's crazy but I didn't
think she was gonna do that.
It's actually pretty cool.
Oh, hi honey.
I'm so sorry to bother you.
- Is Clark here?
- No.
- He's not here right now.
- Sorry.
We live next door, and...
We just... we're locked out.
Again.
And what happens is,
because he painted the window
shut, we have to climb...
I'm sorry. I'm Don,
and this is Debbie.
- Hi, I'm Debbie. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- I love what you've done with the yard.
- Thanks.
So we just have to borrow a
ladder,
and I think that he keeps it
over there in the garage.
So that Don can climb up to the
second floor and get in,
because he painted the window
shut and all.
- Are you okay?
- She's fine.
Oh. No, no.
It's an accident.
So...
- I'm sure it's fine.
- I'm sorry to bother you. We're really sorry.
- No, no, no. Don't worry about it.
- Yeah.
We were just on our way to my
little nephew's birthday party.
He's turning four, and you know,
he just has all his trucks...
- She doesn't need to know everything.
- and trains and shit.
Well, actually,
it's because he painted the
window shut
on the ground floor.
One time, we were doing
a little "remodel."
And so, that's why we have to
climb up to the...
That is such a pretty dress.
Oh, thanks.
- Did you get that here?
- No, no, no.
I got it in New York.
- Oh, New York?
- Yeah.
We got to go to New York, Don.
We should.
Yeah.
He just doesn't think about
things before he does them,
- and he just goes off half cocked.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, thanks again.
- I really appreciate it.
Yeah. No problem.
- I'll put it back in the garage.
- Oh, okay.
- Thanks.
- All right.
- Make sure and try that brisket.
- All right. I will.
- Oh.
- Jesus.
Sorry, Clark. Hold on.
Are you there?
Oh. No problem, no problem.
Sorry.
You scared me.
- Sorry. How are you?
- It's okay.
Good. How are you?
Good. Take a nap?
- No.
- Why?
I have to deal with this stupid
craigslist stuff.
Oh.
Yeah.
Aw. It's so sweet.
Thanks, Clark.
Yeah. No problem.
- It's really nice.
- It smells good.
You didn't have to do that.
Why not?
I want you to feel comfortable
with me.
Happy here.
Thanks.
Yeah. No problem.
Actually, there are some friends
that are, um,
that are going for dinner and
some drinks later...
And I was wondering
if you want to be my date.
It's gonna be so much fun.
It's gonna be so great.
- I'm just really tired.
- Yeah?
Yeah.
I just think I should go to
sleep tonight.
I've been up all night,
you know?
- Yeah. Yeah, no problem.
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, no problem.
- Is that okay?
Yeah, no problem.
Thanks, Clark.
You need to sleep.
Yeah. I do.
We can do it other day,
no problem.
All right.
Thanks for being cool.
Yeah. No problem.
Are your windows painted shut?
What?
Are your windows painted shut?
No.
Why?
No.
Never mind.
Stupid question.
When's your next show, man?
What's up next for you, man?
I don't know, like...
First we have to figure out what's
gonna happen with the band.
- So...
- Yeah.
Dan quit the band.
He was too old for this
bullshit band.
- He's old, man.
- I don't know. - Yeah.
- What's he gonna do?
- I don't know.
He moves to Albuquerque
with his dad.
- Albuquerque?
- Yeah.
- For what?
- What's in Albuquerque?
- To manage a restaurant or something like that, yeah.
- Hot dogs?
- To manage a restaurant?
- Yeah.
- That's...
- I mean...
I would never expect that guy
to manage anything.
He can't even manage his own
ass half the time.
- It does surprise me.
- So...
Zoe tells me that
you met a girl.
Oh.
- Come on! Come on!
- No, no.
No...
I met this girl in Brooklyn,
and...
- Brooklyn.
- What's her name?
- Allie.
- Allie?
She went to the show,
and then...
We're like, talking and she
moves with us...
- On the road trip.
- Oh, nice.
Here she's like staying in my
place right now, and...
Why she didn't come down here
and hang out with us, man?
I don't know.
She's kind of weird.
But I really like her, like...
- What do you mean "weird"?
- Yeah, what's up with that?
- Like a modern weird, or...
- We're all weird.
You know, just kind of...
closed and...
But he... she's in my place
right now.
- He?
- Yeah. Sorry. She.
I missed you guys. Salud.
- Salud, Salud.
- Salud.
Good to have you back.
Sure. I need some tequila, man.
All right, 1-2-3 gang!
Come on...
Hey.
Allie.
Allie.
Hey.
Wake up.
Time for work.
- You're gonna be late.
- Uh uh.
- Huh?
- Uh uh.
Wake up...
Frojita.
Come on.
You're gonna be late.
Hey, Sarah.
Shit.
I'm so sorry.
Whatever.
Just put that small brick
on the end.
Look, I...
I just, like...
I couldn't sleep last night.
Like, I'm in Clark's fuckin'
house,
- It's fine, it's fine.
- and it's like...
Just like every sound I hear,
you know,
it's like somebody's gonna
kill me or something.
I know it sounds like bullshit,
but it's not.
And I... I... I... I...
I just need you to be here when
you say you're gonna be here.
No, I know. I know.
I just thought shit was gonna be a
little different here, you know?
What do you want me to get?
Like, it's not gonna happen
again.
I promise.
- It better not.
- It's not. It's not.
It's gonna be fine.
Like, I'm gonna get that fucking
prescription for Ambien or something,
and it's gonna be fine.
Sleeping pills are not gonna
help you.
It's like then you're gonna...
What? Be addicted to sleeping
pills.
You were scared in Brooklyn.
You're scared in Austin.
You should just get a gun.
All right. I'll get a gun.
Do you want me to get more
of those...
I'm not joking. It's Texas.
Everybody has a gun.
Hey, you guys don't sell...
You guys don't sell liquor here
in grocery stores, do you?
No, actually...
Actually, we don't.
It's a grocery, but actually...
I mean,
you can take it up there,
but they won't sell it to you
because it's...
- I'm sorry?
- Yeah. It's after midnight.
You can't...
you can't buy alcohol.
Texas, have you been there?
Where are you from?
You can't buy beer?
- No.
- Are you sure?
Yeah.
Yeah. Sorry. Positive.
You can't buy beer past
midnight?
No. That's...
Where are you from?
That's Texas.
Ah, fucking a...
- What's going on?
- What?
Sorry.
What happened?
- You all right?
- No. It's fine.
Don't worry about it.
I'm taking classes,
so I noticed...
Up here, you're a little...
Right here.
Yeah, right here.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
What's the classes about?
Well, this is where people, you
know, carry all their tension,
is right up in here.
And you noticed it?
Yeah.
What did you notice?
Just one side's bigger
than the other.
Yeah. Like this side is
totally...
Well, I just took this class
today.
I mean, we totally were dealing
with trapezoids.
Right here.
Yeah. Trapezius?
Is it trapezius?
It's not bigger.
Yeah. One of them is bigger.
Sorry.
It's a little awkward.
Well.
Feel mine.
That's okay.
Two. Three. Four.
- That does feel good.
- Five.
- Feel it? Feel it back there?
- Yeah.
That does feel really good.
You feel that stretch in there?
Feel it?
Yeah, actually.
That feels really good.
Arch your back a little more.
The small of your back.
- You feel better already.
- Yeah.
It makes my neck feel better.
I've had a hard time moving
my neck lately.
- Do you feel any pops in there?
- No.
Crap. I probably have to
get to...
Can you take me today,
you think?
Yeah, sure. Where.
Just to work.
Yeah, no problem.
At what time you need to
be there?
Soon. Probably now!
It's really stressful not
having a phone.
But it's kind of great, too.
You don't have to deal with
anybody, you know?
Yeah.
Thanks for letting me stay at
your place, Clark.
Yeah. Of course.
I won't be there too much longer
hopefully.
I'll find something else, or...
- go back to New York, depending on my apartment arrangements.
- No, it's okay.
You know?
I'm really enjoying like,
spending time with you...
and knowing you and...
It's nice.
Yeah.
Me too.
Allie.
Oh. Hey.
Got any plans tonight?
- Not really.
- Pay day!
Yay!
So I was married.
NO!
Yeah, for a long time.
For like eight years.
Holy shit.
- Mm hmm.
- And not anymore? - No.
- Really?
- Yeah. Not my deal.
He was like, my best friend
from high school.
It's kind of what my parents
expected.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- That's crazy.
- Mm hmm.
Okay, wait. I have a million
questions to ask you,
but I'm going to go get a beer.
What do you want?
- Same thing.
- Stellar Bock? Okay.
All right. Be right back.
ZOE!
What are you doing here?
OH MY GOD.
Hi! What are you doing?
- Where have you been?
- I've been like...
landscaping.
That job is crazy. I'm like
exhausted, my back hurts...
- I never knew that you were landscaping. What are you doing?
- I know.
- I don't know.
- Is it fun? Do you like it?
- I do!
- You do? - Yeah.
- I'm so glad!
- I know.
I love you.
Geez, I'm sorry I haven't been
like, calling you more.
No, no, no. I'm sorry I haven't
been calling you.
- Clark just gave me a phone, so...
- Hey.
- Is Clark here? Is he...?
- No.
He's not here.
It's a long story.
Hey. Can I get
two Stellar Bocks, please?
Thanks.
I can't find my...
Well, how have you been?
Have you been having fun?
Have things been good?
I mean, tell me.
- RICARDO! Hey, how are you?
- Hey, what's going on?
- This is Ricardo. Ricardo, this is Zoe.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
He's been teaching me how to
two step.
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- That's... great.
- I'll get that.
- Oh, thank you.
- Yeah.
Well, well...
I mean, why isn't Clark here...
tonight?
I mean...
It's like a long story.
How do we...
Can you do it? I can't do it.
What do you mean,
"It's like a long story"?
It's just, you know,
- Yeah.
- but it kind of was like turning into that.
Yeah. No, totally.
Totally.
Sorry.
- We don't have a thing. We don't have anything.
- I'm not weird about it.
I just...
I'm not weird about it.
I'm actually... I'm gonna run
outside for a second.
Sorry.
I just need to...
- Wait, Zoe.
- No.
It's really okay.
No wait, Zoe. Zoe. Zoe.
Wait, wait, wait!
No, it's going to be okay.
But what about Clark, Allie?
He's a great guy!
And he really likes you. He's
better than that guy!
Who is that guy?
- Zoe, it's not... it's not like that.
- Teaching you to two step...
He's just... we're just dancing
and having fun.
It's fine. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, but I just...
Look, Zoe, I know, but...
Clark likes you a lot. Do you
know how amazing he is?
Do you know how much
he's done for you?
- I'm not trying...
- I know, Zoe,
It's just like... I didn't...
He's not my boyfriend.
No, I completely understand.
But I also understand that I was
just talking to Clark,
and he made it seem like...
things were going really well
with you two,
and I don't know,
I was excited about it.
- I don't know why you're so upset about it.
- I'm not so upset about it!
You're being like
one of those girls right now.
I don't...
You are! YOU ARE.
You sound like one of those
girls. He's amazing.
Then why aren't you dating him
then? I just don't understand.
If you think he's so amazing,
like why don't you guys just date?
I can't fucking have him.
I've wanted him for
KIND OF A WHILE.
Actually, if he wanted me,
he would have me.
He doesn't. He wants you.
I... I don't know. I'm sorry.
I don't know! I don't know what
to say right now.
- I don't know what to say right now.
- Listen, it's okay. It's okay.
- And that's fine. No, go to that other thing.
- We were like on our way out.
Yeah, no.
Y'all have a good time.
Just, y'all have a good time.
- Bye. Have fun.
- Bye.
Have a really good time.
Goodnight. Goodnight, everybody.
She's all of a sudden like
freaking out
about Clark.
I just don't need this shit
right now.
What was up with Zoe?
I don't know.
It's not my responsibility
though.
- Right?
- No.
No. I don't know what her
problem was.
Maybe she'll just
forget about it.
She was probably drunk or
something.
You're a great dancer.
Well, Ricardo...
was a good teacher.
Oh my gosh. At least the breeze
is waking me up.
I was getting so drunk.
- Oh, hey.
- Hi.
- How are you?
- Good. How are you?
Good. How's stretching?
It's coming along.
- Gonna get some sleep.
- What's that?
Gonna get some sleep.
Yeah.
Cool. Oh, it's cool.
- Do you want your bag?
- I don't need a bag.
- Need your receipt?
- Sure.
I mean, okay. Thanks.
- All right.
- See ya. - See ya.
Okay.
- Where should I put these?
- Just put them on the deck.
Cool.
Oh my god. I'm so sorry.
It's just I can't sleep there.
And it's like...
He... I don't know.
It's just... it's so...
- Let's just get to work.
- No, no. It's okay. It's okay.
You can take a minute
if you need a minute.
I just really need another
place to stay.
I don't know what I'm doing
here.
Like I just need another
place to stay,
and he's like...
I'm on his fuckin' couch,
and it's like... he's just...
I don't know.
Well...
if you don't want to stay at
Clark's house anymore,
I'm house sitting my friend's
house,
and you could stay there,
actually.
There's nobody there.
They're gone for six months.
They're in Europe.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Oh my god.
- That would be like, amazing of you, seriously.
- Would that be better?
Here's your key.
No. You can keep it.
Right here.
Right here.
Okay.
Thanks.
Don't worry about it.
No problem.
I got a car now.
Yeah.
I don't have to drive yours.
Sorry if I've been
stressful all these days.
No.
Not at all.
Are you sure you don't want
to stay here?
No, you know what? I'm gonna
help Sarah watch the cat
and stuff, so...
She's, you know, house sitting,
and so I told her
- I'd help her out.
- Okay.
Well...
I think I'm gonna go.
Okay.
Here. Give me a hug.
- And take care, please.
- All right. Bye.
- Thanks again.
- No problem.
One. You treat every gun
like it's loaded.
Okay.
Two.
You never point the gun at
anything
you don't intend to destroy.
Okay.
Never put your finger on the trigger
until you are ready to fire.
And right after you fire,
you bring your finger back up.
- Okay.
- Okay? - Okay.
Always.
The fourth thing you want to
remember,
is to always be aware of your
target,
and what is beyond it.
Okay.
You're not shooting randomly.
You know your target.
You're aiming at it.
And you're gonna fire.
- Okay?
- Okay.
So... how does that feel?
Good. Good, it feels good.
Okay.
It feels secure.
- So, put your right foot a little bit behind.
- Okay.
You feel really strong?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- My hands are in the ready position.
- Right.
I'm gonna look at my target.
I'm gonna bring my hands up.
- Strongly, okay?
- Okay.
On this gun, there are two
sights.
You're gonna line them up.
- Aim at your target.
- Okay.
And bring your finger to the
trigger position.
And you fire.
Geez! Holy shit.
That's amazing.
- Are you ready for your turn?
- That was scary.
- Come on.
- Yes?
All right.
All right. I can do it.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
All right. So this is how the
handoff's gonna happen.
I'm gonna slip my hand down.
And you're gonna put your hand
right where mine was.
- Okay.
- All right?
- Trigger finger straight.
- Right.
You're gonna wrap your left
fingers OVER your right.
Oh, right, right, right.
You said that before.
- Right foot behind the left.
- Yes.
Okay. You're gonna lean forward
into an aggressive stance.
Okay.
You're gonna bring your arms up.
Pick your target.
And I'm gonna tell you when to
fire. Okay?
Okay.
- You feel good?
- Yeah.
You ready?
Yeah.
Okay.
So fire.
One one thousand,
two one thousand.
- Okay.
- Fire.
One one thousand.
Two one thousand.
Line up your sights and fire.
Okay.
Jesus.
- That was great!
- Whoa.
- That's terrifying.
- Good.
Good, good.
That was wonderful.
So what'd you think of the
Glock?
I was...
pretty intimidated at first.
I was like... you saw how
nervous I was.
But I guess after we were out
there for a while...
I don't know.
It was kind of exciting.
But then as soon as you pull
the trigger...
It's just there's so much power
in it.
- I like the shotgun.
- Yeah?
I'm a big fan of the shotgun.
- It's a little different than a handgun, that's for sure.
- Yeah.
You know...
I was gonna ask, and it's
totally cool if you say no,
but if we're just going back
to the place,
do you think it would be weird
to have a few people over?
- Like for...
- Oh no, no.
- Just to like grill some stuff, maybe?
- Yeah, that's fine.
- Really?
- Yeah, yeah.
I hope he's not really pissed.
I haven't talked to him in a while.
So, you're gonna wow me with
your meats here?
Well, absolutely. I mean...
I'm a master.
- Oh, a master, huh?
- Yeah.
Like a master barbequer.
My younger brother is like,
this crazy insane hippie.
I slept with three girls in
one day.
- You're caddyshacking me.
- Don't fucking...
Don't caddyshack me.
What? You want to do this now?
- Does it feel good?
- I'll pin you into submission.
MMA style, motherfucker.
MMA style!
I'm going to go...
I'll go full on Chuck Liddell
on you. Come on.
FUCK. Yeah.
Does it feel good?
Stop, stop.
Stop, Michael. Stop.
- Come on, man!
- Stop.
Stop.
Can I have everyone's attention
please?
So what we're going to do
is each one of you
is going to take one of these
pieces of paper here.
And on one half,
you're going to write
all the shit.
The awful...
shit...
that's happened over the last
year,
and you're just gonna write it
all right here.
All the stuff
you want to go away.
And on the other side,
you're going to write all the good
stuff that you want to happen
in the next year.
All your hopes and your dreams
and all that good stuff.
And you're gonna put it there.
And you're gonna take that
shit side,
and you're gonna wad it up,
and you're gonna throw it
right here in this toilet.
And then, the other side...
The good stuff, you're gonna
wad it up...
And you're gonna stick it in
Yoda here,
his back.
So much weird stuff in here.
Yeah, I know.
You look great.
Oh, thanks.
So do you.
Thank you.
I like that thing.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I like it too.
That's from my grandfather.
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.
What is it?
Like a...
Horse...
Or, I don't know...
A dead guy.
What?
Yeah, it does look like that.
Let's go get some beers, huh?
- Okay.
- Okay.
- New beginnings.
- Yeah!
- New places.
- Yeah!
Salud!
Sarah.
Hey.
Oh my god.
I'm still drunk.
I can't do it.
Are you serious?
Oh, thank you so much.
You're just lucky I didn't
want to...
- How y'all doing today?
- Good.
How are you?
All right.
What can we do for you?
- She's looking for a handgun.
- Okay.
What do you want to use it for?
Self-defense, mainly.
Self-defense. What's your
experience level?
Have you shot before?
- Not too much.
- Not too much.
With her.
We just went out earlier
this week,
- shooting for the first time.
- Okay.
Well, we've got a good revolver
here. It's a Smith & Wesson.
Okay.
Three inch barrel,
.357 Magnum chambering,
smaller grip,
easy to carry.
Very reliable, very simple.
How's that feel?
It feels really good.
I mean...
It feels like it fits really
well. You know?
How much is this? OH!
You guys don't have anything
like a little cheaper?
Around like 150 or something?
Not if you're looking for
quality.
Really?
The major question we ask
everybody is,
"What's your life worth?"
I mean, I'll give you an advance
on your pay.
That's not a big deal.
You don't have to do that.
I think it's important that you
feel safe while you're here.
That's really nice of you.
I can't believe it either.
Your first gun!
I know.
How do you feel?
I'm a gun owner.
It's crazy.
It's so crazy.
Are you happy with your
purchase, ma'am?
Your purchase!
Yeah. But you're paying me back.
I know. I'm gonna work my ass
off on that yard for you.
Whoa.
This is so nuts.
Oh god.
Hey, are you okay?
This just means so much to me
that you would do this,
you know?
It really does.
It really, really does.
Look, I just...
haven't felt safe in a long
time,
and you've really made me feel
a lot safer.
And...
I just want you to know how
much it means to me.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Wow.
Bye!
Bye.
Hey.
It's me.
Yeah.
I DON'T FUCKIN' CARE!
Oh no! Why don't you fuckin'
come at me?
You don't know me!
You don't know nothing...
I'm so tired of hearing about
it from you!
Shut the fuck up!
I just wish for something
really bad to happen...
Don...
Just walk the FUCK away.
This is none of your FUCKIN'
business.
You get the FUCK away from here.
You need to walk away.
I'll fucking kill you,
you fucked up Texas piece
of SHIT!
You get the FUCK on the ground!
You get on the fucking ground.
You fucking piece of shit.
Get down.
Don't fuckin' shoot him!
Just call somebody!
Say you're sorry.
Say you're fuckin' sorry!
- Hey, hey, hey!
- STOP!
I'm sorry!
Don't shoot him!
It's my fault!
- Don't shoot him!
- No, no, no. Calm down.
Calm...
Put that fucking gun down.
Put that... hey.
HEY.
- How does it feel?
- Hey. Hey.
How does it feel to be fuckin'
scared?
Calm down.
Put that fucking gun down.
- Piece of shit.
- Calm down.
Calm down.
- Doesn't fool good, does it?
- Calm down. Calm down!
If you have a problem again,
you call me.
All right?
Call me directly.
I'm gonna give you my card.
- You can call me on that line.
- Okay.
But you guys have to be careful,
okay?
Yeah.
I mean, we've been out here a
few times for this guy.
And I know what you're going
through,
but this is...
this is their issue.
You call us.
You let us do our job.
- Okay?
- Okay. - Okay.
We can't have you taking matters
into your own hands.
You REALLY have to be careful.
- Thank you. Okay.
- All right.
- I will.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
We don't want to be out here
again. Okay?
Thank you so much. Okay.
- Thank you very much.
- All right. - Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Holy shit.
- Holy shit.
- I know.
You could be in jail right now.
Can we just go inside and...
calm down?
I don't think I can go inside
right now.
I just want to like, go...
do something. and...
Are you serious?
Yeah, yeah. Just, I need to.
Yeah? Do whatever you want.
Just...
take care of you.
Like... I don't know.
You can't be here right now.
I know.
You can't be doing these
things, Allie.
I know.
Do whatever you want.
Just think about it. Okay?
Take care, please.
Oh god.
I just... I don't understand.
Look, look. I'm sorry.
Maybe you're right. Okay?
Maybe you're right.
What are you sorry about?
Would you please just listen to
what I'm trying to say?
What are you sorry about?
What are you sorry about?
Are you sorry because
I'm pissed at you?
Or are you sorry because you
think you did something wrong?
Just like,
what you gave me out there...
With what you've given me...
Oh, don't give me that shit.
- Would you please just listen?
- Don't give me that shit. NO.
- Why can't you just listen?
- Because
not only did you point a loaded
gun at someone,
but you scared the SHIT out of
his wife.
So now SHE'S in the same
position that YOU were in.
Not just because she has one
person threatening her,
but she also has you
threatening her.
- I was not threatening her.
- You were threatening her.
- I wasn't threatening her.
- You were threatening her.
I wasn't doing it to her.
I was pointing it at him.
She fuckin' called the cops
on you.
You think she wasn't scared?
Maybe she called the cops
before I fucking got there.
I want you to give me the gun.
I'm sorry.
- You know, I...
- Sarah...
I don't think I can trust you
with it.
I've invited you into my life.
You're staying
in my friend's house.
Just give me the gun,
and I will feel much better.
I'm not.
Why?
Because I don't want to.
Because it's mine.
I just need you to understand.
He would've hurt her.
He would've really, really
hurt her.
It wasn't right.
And I know what I did was...
you know, reckless or whatever,
but...
I'm fucking glad that guy
was scared.
I'm glad I scared the shit
out of him.
He deserved it.
He deserved it. He did.
Sorry, Sarah.
But I had to do it.
And I don't regret it.
I don't think...
I don't think I should stay
here anymore.
You don't think you should
stay here anymore?
Well, that's a smart move.
That's a smart move, Allie!
- Allie, I'm talking to you.
- I'm sorry.
You're gonna run away again,
- I said I'm sorry.
Like, this whole fucking thing,
- Me fuck off?
you protecting me, you getting
me a job, all this shit...
It's just so you can get down
my fucking pants.
- Are you kidding me?
- Just, this is bullshit. No.
FUCK OFF!
- Listen first. Ap...
- Ap...
- Listen first!
- Okay, okay, okay.
You're trying to tell me
that I'm drunk
just because I'm not Mexican.
You're Mexican,
- and I'm not Mexican...
- I'm Mexican and you're wasted.
And you're trying to make me...
because... you're drunk and...
- making it seem like I am so much drunker...
- Beh, beh, beh, beh.
than you.
Don't shush me.
Tell me. Just tell me.
- What?
- I don't know why, but I...
What? WHAT?
Why are you laughing?
Just fucking say it.
- Oh, then I fucking like...
- Say it, Clark.
I fucking like Allie.
You like Allie?
I fuckin' like her
so fucking much.
And I'm so happy...
that I'm gonna play some
music...
in this barn place.
And I'm gonna do it right now.
- Yes, I'm gonna do it.
- Oh.
- Oh, okay.
- Right now. - Bye.
Y'all all right down here?
We're great.
You all right?
I'm fine.
- Good, just checking.
- How are you?
- Never better.
- Great.
I don't know.
Stop.
What?
Stop.
What?
You're so cute.
I really... hey.
Hey. Hey, hey, hey!
Zoe, Zoe.
Baby, baby.
What frown for?
No, I get it.
I get it.
It's okay.
Hey.
Don't...
Where are you...?
- Yeah?
- May I have our check, please?
Tell you what, friend.
I'll get your check
if you give me your keys.
What?
Look. I need your keys, man.
You're too drunk to drive.
Come on.
Can I ask you a question, man?
What?
Can I ask you a question? That
girl that you were with...
That girl you were with...
Is she your girl?
No, she's not my girl.
It's a damn shame.
Shh!