My cigarette burns like a flame.
My lungs
will never be the same.
I puff, and I puff.
I can't get enough.
Oh, well.
I'll get cancer
just the same.
Very nice, Catherine,
but remember,
the beauty of poetry
is in the details.
Next time, you might want
to be more specific
about which brand
you smoke.
Someone will be out shortly
to get you.
Who would like
to go next?
Colins,
how about you?
"A single blade.
"Cold.
Alone.
"Misunderstood,
causing fear to move
through my soul like wind"-
See me after class.
That was very nice, Colins.
Yeah, nice enough
to make you
want to kill yourself.
- Hey.
- Hi.
You're the new girl, right?
Yeah.
I'm Kristen Edwards.
Annabelle.
It's nice to meet you.
You too.
Oh, my God.
Your mother
is Senator Tillman.
That is so cool.
Oh, my God,
your mom is such an inspiration.
I'm totally going
into politics.
Who are you?
Only the daughter
of Senator Tillman.
Who's that?
Hello?
Her mom could be, like,
our first female president.
I doubt that.
Are you in a band?
Yeah.
Mm.
A rock star.
Cat's dad's drummer
for The Weary.
Was.
He's doing
his own thing now.
He's in rehab.
Dude.
What?
What?
You better not let them
catch you smoking.
Later.
Bye.
Bye.
This is our administrative hall.
The cafeteria
and offices are here.
Senior dorm rooms
are upstairs.
And your classes
are up the hill
in the other building.
You might want to hide those
underneath your shirt.
Why?
And the nose ring,
you might want
to take that out.
Don't say
I didn't warn you.
It's open.
Good luck.
God, please bless this food
we are about to receive.
May it nourish our body
in Jesus Christ.
Amen.
I hear you're in dorm five.
It looks that way.
Me too.
You're lucky.
The sisters don't let us
do anything,
but Miss Bradley, she lets us
order pizza sometimes
and stay up later
on the weekends.
Sounds great.
Where did you
put your chem notes?
Why are you
wigging out?
I'm wigging out
because if I don't pass chem,
I'm going
to fail again.
It's her second go-round
as a senior.
Just announce it
to the whole frigging world, Cat.
I'm sorry,
but it is.
I can't believe
she's smoking.
"I feel like I'm only... "
Hey, Prissy.
What's in the cage?
It's a porcupine.
Her name is Prissy.
I found her in the woods.
L-I think her mother died.
Careful,
Annabelle.
That thing
has wicked gas.
She doesn't have gas.
No one else
knows about her but us.
Miss Bradley
is letting me keep her.
Because she has
no other friends.
Come here,
Prissy.
Come here.
"My respiration
"and inspiration.
"The beating
of my heart.
"The passing of blood and air
through my lungs.
"A few light kisses,
"a few embraces,
"a reaching around
of arms.
"The song of me
rising from bed
and meeting
the sun. "
Now, we've already spent
a lot of time
talking about Song of Myself
from a stylistic perspective,
but what about content?
Wasn't Walt Whitman gay?
Yes.
So he's writing this
about another man.
Let's take a closer look
at the opening lines.
What does he mean
when he writes,
"I celebrate myself,
"for every atom
belonging to me
belongs to you"?
Martha?
We're all connected?
Anyone else?
Annabelle.
Because, through love,
we feel the intensity
of our connection
to everything
and everyone,
and at the core,
we're all the same.
We're all one.
So I'm the same as Colins.
I don't think so.
Why don't you
expand your mind?
Why don't you
stop cutting yourself?
Out of my class.
Everyone open your books
to page 46.
Let's take another look
at the beginning.
A story I loved as a child
was about two frogs
who were playing leapfrog.
What else?
But by mistake,
they jumped into a large vat
of fresh cream.
Finding no foothold,
they started swimming
to avoid drowning.
But one of the frogs
was just too tired.
He couldn't take it,
and he croaked to his friend
that he was finished.
And sure enough,
he sank to the bottom
of that vat
and died
a miserable death.
He really croaked.
But the other frog
missed his friend,
of course,
saddened
by his loss,
but he kept
right on going,
persevering,
swimming,
persevering,
sim-
persevering,
swimming with determi...
Here we go.
He kept
right on going-
With perseverance
and determined strokes,
he had churned
that cream into butter
and hopped out.
Deo gratias.
I'm glad you could
make it out tonight.
Me too.
You've been
so busy lately.
How are your classes going?
Good.
My plate is definitely
full this semester.
So have you, you know,
had any thoughts
about our conversation
last week?
What?
Why do you
keep putting this off?
I'm not
putting it off.
I...
I'm just, um-I'm not ready
to leave the school yet.
You can live off campus
and still teach there.
I do it for my school.
Why does
the subject of us,
you know,
moving in together
stress you out
so much?
Can't we just have
a nice evening out together?
All right.
You're right.
You're right.
"Now you feel
"how nothing
clings to you.
"Your vast shell
reaches into endless space,
"and there
the rich, thick fluids
"rise and flow.
"IIluminated
in your infinite peace,
"a billion stars
go spinning through the night,
"blazing high
above your head.
"But in you
is the presence that will be
when all the stars
are dead."
When Rilke says,
"Your vast shell
reaches into endless space,
and there the rich, thick fluids
rise and flow,"
what was he talking about?
I think
he's talking about sex.
What would make you
think that?
"Your vast shell
reaches into endless space."
It sounds like the metaphor
for the body as it orgasms.
And "endless space"
could represent
the infinite
possibilities
that open for you
when you climax.
And "thick fluids,"
well, that's kind of obvious.
I think Rilke
is implying
that sex and love
can merge together,
especially good sex.
Annabelle, I'd like
to speak with you.
Look, I respect my students,
and I encourage you all
to have your own opinions-
But...
But I can't help thinking
that you were trying
to get a rise out of me.
And why would I want
to do that?
Perhaps to get attention.
Or perhaps I'm intrigued.
Intrigued by what?
By you.
I'd appreciate it
if you'd be
more appropriate
with your comments
in my class.
Hey, it's Anna.
Is my mother there?
Well, tell her
it's me.
Right. Go up the hill.
Then, after winding around-
Oh, Miss Bradley,
Mother Immaculata
wants to see you.
Yes, yes, I understand.
Yes, ma'am.
Yes.
No, I assure you
that everything
is under control.
Thank you.
Whew.
We need to have
a serious talk
about Annabelle Tillman.
How did you get this?
It was a Christmas gift
from my dad.
Seriously?
It might not
be a Beamer,
but that's not going to do you
any good here anyway.
What are you guys doing?
Get out of here,
Prickle Priss.
Come sit by me, Colins.
Whatever.
Your dad seems cool, Cat.
When he's sober.
Which is never.
Dude, let's play
I Never.
Dude,
we're seniors now.
That didn't stop you
from playing
last year.
Would you
shut up about that?
How do you play?
I never had sex.
Now, if you have had sex,
you have to drink.
This is so gay.
Well, you definitely
have to drink to the first one,
because we all know
you're not a virgin.
Can I play?
You've never
done anything, Colins,
so you're not
going to get drunk.
I've done stuff.
Okay.
Annabelle,
you go.
Make it good.
Here.
I've never had sex
with another woman.
Bullshit.
You've had sex with a girl?
It's not that big a deal.
Wow.
That is...
Wow.
Finally, a lesbian.
I was worried we were
never going to have one
after Michelle Peters
graduated.
What are you guys
doing down here?
Getting drunk.
We were just leaving.
You always say the stupidest-
Shut up. Shh.
I don't smoke.
But they're good.
I got them in Thailand.
I don't care
where you got them.
Look,
I really need you to try
to start fitting in here.
How can I fit in?
I'm not even Catholic.
The nose ring.
You want me
to take out
my nose ring?
Yes.
Fine.
Anything else
you want me to do?
The Buddhist prayer beads.
No.
I'm okay about the nose ring,
but these stay with me.
Look, there's
a strict dress code here.
Buddhist prayer beads are-
I told you
I'm not taking them off.
Hand over the beads.
You will respect
the rules of this school
or face the consequences.
Being expelled
from your first two schools
wasn't enough for you?
You leave me no choice.
You will wear this
and add another one
just like it for every day
that you continue
to wear those beads.
I think
it will help you realize
how heavy a burden
denying Christ can be.
I'm not wearing that.
Your mother informs me
that if you don't comply,
you'll be sent
to military school,
so I suggest
you cooperate.
I think you should move her
to another dorm.
Why?
I can't control her.
Well, that shouldn't be
too hard a job, Simone.
I was able to control you.
Your homework assignment
for tonight
is to take
one of the poems
that I'm listing
on the board
and write
a two-page analysis.
And it's due tomorrow.
Hand it over.
I wouldn't read that.
Annabelle,
I need to speak with you.
Why aren't you
wearing your rosary?
You don't want to get
on Mother lmmaculata's
bad side.
Trust me.
God.
If Mother Immaculata told you
to take this cross off,
would you?
I have something
for you.
Thanks.
Maybe you could carry them
in your pocket
or hide them in your bag
where no one can see them.
I'll think about it.
Why are you
making this so hard?
The first person
I fell in love with
gave them to me.
Hmm.
Are you still
in love with him?
She moved to Europe last year
with her family.
Think about it.
Hey.
Hi.
I just wanted
to say thanks again
for the book.
You're welcome.
Thanks for taking off
the beads.
Come on,
Annabelle.
We're going to take
Prissy out.
I'll be there
in a minute.
Did you take
all these?
Yeah.
I didn't know
you could paint on a picture.
Mm.
Can I look at them?
Sure.
These are
really amazing.
Don't get me wrong.
You're a great teacher,
but you should be
taking pictures.
Thanks.
That's sweet of you to say.
Are these your parents?
Mm-hmm.
Are you close
to them?
Not really.
I don't see them
very much.
Your mom
looks like Immaculata.
They're sisters.
You're related
to Mother Immaculata?
How long have you been
at this school?
Since I was 13.
Wow.
I left
when I graduated,
but somehow
I got drawn back.
Yeah, I can see
how this school
would be a hard place
to stay away from.
Who's she?
That's Amanda.
Hmm.
You seem
really close.
We grew up together.
Where is she now?
She died a few years ago.
I'm sorry.
Miss Bradley.
I think Prissy is dead.
I don't understand.
She was fine yesterday.
Look at the bright side,
Colins.
At least you don't have
to smell her gas anymore.
Catherine.
I hate you, Cat.
I didn't mean
to say that.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to say it.
I'm sorry.
It just slipped out.
I can't stop.
It's okay.
Sorry.
Don't apologize to me.
Let me see.
It's bad.
Sweetie.
It's bad.
Okay.
You're not very discreet.
Yeah.
You think I'm an asshole,
don't you?
Sometimes.
My dad
just sent me this.
It's good stuff.
Your dad
gets you pot?
For sure.
That's weird.
What?
Well, they sent you here
because you're into drugs,
and then your dad
gets you pot.
Yeah, well,
he's cool like that.
So how's it going
with Miss Bradley?
Nothing's going
with Miss Bradley.
I had a crush on her
when I was a freshman.
I'm not gay, though.
I'm into guys too.
Michelle Peters
was obsessed with her.
She used to write her
notes and shit in class.
I'm not obsessed
with her.
But you like her,
though.
Hey.
Good to see you guys.
We were beginning
to wonder about you two.
We haven't seen you
for ages.
Now, now,
no need to worry.
It's just our little Simone
has been buried at work.
You tell them
about the ceremony?
No, silly,
I didn't tell them.
What ceremony?
Well-
We're renewing
our vows.
Hey, all right.
We are very excited.
We just couldn't think
of a better way
to celebrate five years.
Hmm.
I'm really, really happy
for you guys.
Yeah, me too.
I'm really happy
for you guys.
Oh, yeah.
Simone, is that you?
Ah.
Close the door,
please.
Come.
Sit down.
Keep me company
for a while, hmm?
We hardly spend
any time together anymore.
We see each other
all the time.
Yeah, but it's not
like it used to be.
You've been out with Michael,
I presume.
I don't know
why you're still with him.
He's not good enough
for you.
I'm really tired.
I'm going to bed.
No, wait.
What?
I can't.
Why?
Because I'm not
interested
in being
your science project.
They're not from me.
Thank you.
You can't be in here.
Well, I need
someone to talk to.
I've had to listen
to Cat and Kristen all night
debate about what's appropriate
to do on a first date.
Oh, come on.
Don't you want to know
what's appropriate
to do on a first date?
All right,
what's appropriate?
Well, according
to them both,
it all depends
on how hot the guy is
or, in Catherine's case,
the girl.
Catherine's gay?
Didn't say
she was gay,
but she kissed me.
She kissed you.
Wow.
Do you-
Did you...
She's not my type.
You play with
your necklace a lot.
Nervous habit.
Do I make you nervous?
Don't.
Hi, it's Simone. Leave a message.
Hey, baby, it's me.
Are you there? Pick up.
Uh, no?
I didn't always want
to be a priest.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
I really wanted to be
in the circus.
That's what I wanted.
You know, with elephants
and zebras
and those performers,
all those different performers.
But one Sunday,
I was in church
and heard
our priest saying,
"You know, some
of those performers are gypsies.
"And gypsies are
the children of the devil.
"And if you're
on the path to God,
"I would suggest
that you do not frequent
a place like that. "
Well, my father never took me
to the circus again.
And, you know,
it didn't sit right with me.
If we're on a path to God,
that's one thing,
but is there only
one path to God?
Isn't God everywhere
and everything?
I just don't think
it's a good idea.
She lives
in your dorm.
Therefore,
she's your responsibility.
But what about me?
I really need to get away
for a few days.
You know how delicate
the situation is.
Father Harris
would like to see you.
"Orange moon lies low."
Good to see you,
honey.
It sucks that you have
to stay here for spring break.
"Up against a western sky."
"Soon we'll see
all our troubles disappear"
"underneath
its watchful eye."
"Meet me, dark whiler,"
"tonight."
"We'll watch
the waves roll in"
"and the planes blow on by."
I love teaching.
And I love feeling like
I have a purpose
here with the girls,
but everything else
in my life is just...
Is what?
I don't know.
I guess I thought I'd have
more figured out by now.
Well, maybe
the best thing to do
is not to try
to figure it all out.
What's that?
A note for a sermon.
You've always been
my favorite.
Do you realize that?
You said that
to all of us.
Not true.
No, you've-you know,
you've always stood out from the rest,
particularly the time
that you and Amanda ran off
with all that wine
from the rectory.
You knew that was us?
My problem is
that I know everything.
Hi.
Hey.
Oh, come on.
Don't take them.
Where do you
keep getting these?
Sister Claire.
Might as well.
I don't usually smoke.
Neither do I.
You were smoking
when I met you.
That was the day
I started.
You want to get
out of here?
I can't take my students
off campus.
Who's going to know?
Sister Claire.
Is this your place?
My parents gave it to me
when I graduated.
That was nice of them.
Compensation for guilt.
You should live here
full-time.
The drive is too far
from school.
You could make
a career change.
Can I ask you
something?
Sure.
The girl
in the pictures.
Were you
in love with her?
Yes.
You still wear
her cross.
How do you...
She's wearing it
in all the pictures.
What is it?
I just...
Simone.
Simone?
Simone?
I'm sorry.
I was just-
Wait.
I want to talk to you.
You had no right
to read that letter.
I'm sorry
I read the letter,
but you can't run away
from this.
This is bullshit.
No, look.
I don't want to talk about it.
You don't have
to talk about it.
No, let me go.
You don't have to talk about it.
I'm not letting you go.
Annabelle.
I'm not letting you go.
I'm not letting you go.
You have a look.
You slept with her,
didn't you?
Slept with who?
I didn't sleep
with anyone,
and I don't have a look.
It's more like a glow.
Stop.
You should hide it
better than that.
Hide what?
Would you
shut up, Cat?
May I have
your attention, please?
As you all
may have heard,
this Friday night is our annual
end-of-the-year dance
with St. Paul's.
Ah, ah, ah.
I expect all of you
to be on your best behavior.
My brother and his band
are playing at the dance.
Maybe you could play
with them, Annabelle.
Maybe.
You know, we haven't seen you
sing or play that guitar.
I'm starting to wonder
if it's all just for show.
See you guys later.
Cat.
What?
"Something always"
"brings me back to you."
"It never takes too long."
"No matter
what I say or do,"
"I'll still feel you here"
"till the moment I'm gone."
"You hold me
without touch."
"You keep me
without chains."
"I never wanted
anything so much"
"than to drown
in your love"
"and not feel your rain."
"Set me free."
"Leave me be."
"I don't want to fall
another moment"
"into your gravity."
"Here I am,"
"and I stand so tall,"
"just the way
I'm supposed to be,"
"but you're on to me..."
Mike, I...
Yeah?
Is this the part where I hear
you're still not sure?
You just need
more time.
"We're just in that
sort of middle place
"where, you know-
"I mean, there's love,
but I don't know, Michael.
I don't know."
The only thing you know
is that you don't know.
Blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
M-Michael...
You know what I want,
Simone?
What?
I want to be
with somebody
who knows they want
to be with me.
I want that
for you too.
I can't believe
you just said that.
I don't even know
what to do with you.
Can you get out?
Sorry.
Yeah.
Can you get out?
Why won't you
talk to me?
You haven't said a word to me
in over two weeks.
I can't do this.
We're not doing
anything wrong.
I can't do this.
Is something the matter?
No, I'm fine.
Well, um...
I'll need these students
reviewed by Friday.
Okay, sure.
I'd like to think
if something were going on,
if there was something
you needed,
that you would ask.
No, I don't
need anything.
Very well.
Think you'll hook up
at the dance?
My hooking up days
are over.
What about you,
Annabelle?
Think you'll hook up
at the dance?
I hear Miss Bradley
will be there.
You know what, Cat?
I'm getting really sick
of your smart-ass comments.
Wow.
Someone needs
to get laid.
Cat.
Cat!
Stop it!
Annabelle!
Get off her!
Stop it!
Cat!
Cat!
Don't hurt her!
Annabelle,
go see the nurse.
I don't need
a fucking nurse.
Annabelle, wait.
Don't touch me.
Let me see your face.
Mother Immaculata,
you look well.
You know, Simone,
I thought if we danced,
it might encourage
some of the kids
to get out there.
What do you say?
What a perfect idea.
"I wanted much"
"had I felt your skin."
" The night alone
was all it took, baby. "
It's a dance.
Come on, pal.
It won't be painful.
- Yes.
- All right?
"But the fire's here,"
"and we both know
deep down"
"you're sweet,
my dear,"
" but, sadly, my words
didn't find your ear. "
How you been?
I've been okay.
Yeah?
You?
Good.
Good.
Yeah.
"You feel nothing."
"Say something."
"Don't be my lost"
"paramour,"
" because you carry
my words "
"on your porcelain back."
"We find in each other... "
"all that we lack,"
"all that we could get."
Okay, guys,
we're going to take
a five-minute break.
Try the punch.
We'll be back.
God, Cat,
your brother is so cute.
D-Does he have
a girlfriend?
I think I'm going
to be sick.
You got a light?
You're Cat's brother, right?
Yeah.
Okay, we're going
to be in G here.
- Mm-hmm.
- On this line.
- No problem.
- Okay.
Well, everyone seems
to be having a wonderful time.
Yes, they do.
We're so glad
that you brought the boys.
Well, it's hardly a dance
without boys and girls, right?
"You will find me
waiting for you."
"All your fortresses"
"go down in the night."
" Till the dawn,
I'll see you through. "
"'Cause I know
that you know"
"you're all over me now."
" And it's clear
you will show. "
"Your curtains will go."
"But if your heart is cold,"
"my sheets are warm."
"I will shelter you"
"through the storm."
"I will shelter you"
"all through the storm."
I wonder
where Annabelle is.
Who cares?
She wasn't in our room
last night.
Duh.
She's probably
in Miss Bradley's room.
No.
Yeah.
I don't care
if they're together.
I like them both.
Mother Immaculata?
Yes, Catherine?
I'm a little worried
about Annabelle
and Miss Bradley.
Annabelle, wake up.
- Wake up.
- What?
Annabelle.
Shit.
- What is it?
- Fuck.
Simone.
I want to see you
in my office
right now.
That did not
just happen.
It's-it's going
to be okay.
You better go.
Remember,
O most gracious
Virgin Mary,
that never was it known
that anyone who's ever
fled to Thy protection,
implored Thy help,
and sought Thy intercession
was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence,
I fly unto Thee,
O Virgin of virgins,
my Mother.
To Thee I come.
Before Thee I stand,
sinful and sorrowful.
O Mother of the Word
incarnate,
despise not my petition
and my necessity,
but, in Thy mercy,
hear and answer me.
Amen.
Come in.
I'm at a loss
for words.
How could you let
something like this happen?
I don't know.
Well, surely
there must have been a moment
when you thought
to yourself,
"Is this really
the right thing to do?"
That would have been
every moment.
I'm not trying to say
what I did was right.
It's not right.
I don't expect you
to understand.
But I love her.
I'm sorry, Simone.
Wait!
"You shot me down
in shades of gray."
"They ricocheted
into endless..."
"matter."
"Your lucid eyes
expecting me to stay."
"You could not comprehend
how shattered I was."
"I lie awake at night"
"and think
about the golden rule of love."
"Ay, ah."
"You better be prepared
to pay the price,"
"so look
before you jump."
"Uh. Uh."
"Don't look back,"
"baby."
"Don't look back,"
"baby."
"Don't look back."
"Love has broken you."
"Love has broken me."
"Invisible to naked eyes,"
"but this euphoria
can't be mistaken."
"As I undress you
in my mind,"
"kaleidoscopic images
awaken."
"I lie awake at night"
"and think
about the golden rule of love."
"Ay, ah."
"You better be prepared
to pay the price,"
"so look
before you jump."
"Uh. Uh."
"Don't look back,"
"baby."
"Don't look back,"
"baby."
"Don't look back,"
"'cause love
has broken you."
"Love has broken me."
"Love has broken you."
"Love has broken me."
"There is no beginning."
"There is no end."
"Eternity
is my newborn friend."
"Ingrained images
and starry eyes."
" Amazing Grace
with electrolytes."
"Hey, could you
do that again?"
"'Cause you fill me up
time and time again."
"I never need
to draw the line."
"These moments
don't need to be defined."
"I'm in a state
of euphoria."
"If I told you
the story,"
"I'd bring you
to your knees."
"Yeah."
"I never knew
what I was really missing,"
"but now I do,
and I've been decompressing."
"Don't look back,"
"baby."
"Don't look back,"
"baby."
"Don't look back."
"Love has broken you."
"Love has broken me."
"Love has broken you."
"Love has broken me."
.::By Duca::.