1
All-set, Lucky.
Okay.
Go to that place on Madison. I want
to open up that joint tomorrow at two.
Come on. I want to go over to
Park Avenue and open that place.
We're wearing a hat today.
You know, until I hired you as a double,
I didn't know how good looking I was.
I hope he shows pretty soon.
Nothing I hate like rushing to a train.
He won't be the first one out. He always
sends Eddie out first, just in case.
You told me.
Yeah, but from fifty feet you can't
tell them apart. You got to watch it.
I'm watching.
From Kansas City I got a couple of ..
Good afternoon Mr Moran.
- Hi.
Don't you ever get lonesome out here?
Wouldn't you rather be .. inside?
I'm in there often enough.
Well, from now on you're going to
be in there even more frequent.
A lot of things are going to
be changed around here.
What do you mean, Mr Moran?
You'll find out.
Now, I think I'll step in there
and try that chair for size.
What's the matter with you?
Why nothing, I'm a .. a little on edge.
I've been to the dentist all afternoon.
Better have a drink.
- Yeah.
Can't use you, Big-Ears.
Ah, but Mr Jordan. Just give
me a try. I'll do anything.
I've got all the guys I
need who'll do anything.
Blow. You too.
Hey, Slip. How'd you
like him for a double?
I don't know. He's a little short.
He's uglier than me, but with a haircut
and a little practice, I think he'll do.
What's the matter? You mad at Eddie?
Mad at him? I'm giving
him a swell funeral.
You don't mean something
happened to him?
Yeah .. he didn't know
what hit him, but it did.
You know who did it?
Someone who knew enough to
figure that he'd come out first.
Just on a hunch, this afternoon I
came out first. Good thing I did.
For me, I mean.
What's your name?
- Angelo Palacio.
You're hired.
- What am I supposed to do Mr Jordan?
Just dress like me and
tag along wherever I go.
Is that what the other
man did? You know ..
Eddie?
Johnnie, find a tailor.
Get him a wardrobe.
Now look here Mr Jordan. I didn't ask
to come here. He just brought me.
I got a job .. setting up
pins in a bowling alley.
It's a nice alley.
You're lucky to get out of it. Sooner or
later you'll get hit by a bowling ball.
You know, boss.
I'd never forgive myself ..
If something had happened to you while
I was sitting safe in the dentist chair.
Mr Higgins is here.
Well hello, Lucky. Hello, Slip.
Well, did you fix it?
Oh! Oh, well I think it's important
that you should know ..
Then you didn't!
Well, you see, you cannot go through
usual channels with a thing like this.
What kind of a lawyer are you anyway?
Oh, now Lucky, you can't go
offering bribes to a draft board.
They put me in the Army.
I tried everything. I even
tried to get you in 4F.
What's that?
- Well, it's .. "socially undesirable".
What do you mean "socially undesirable"?
Dames like me.
Well, that's not exactly the
connotation. It means ..
I'll be frank with you lucky.
Everybody knows that you
control all the rackets in town.
Now that's not considered
"socially desirable".
Nobody's ever pinned anything on me yet.
I know. That's why I
couldn't get you in 4F.
I don't pay you to
take "No" for an answer.
Lucky, it was out of my hands.
This isn't like fixing an
ordinary beef. There's a war on ..
Don't I know it. They've
closed Santa Anita.
Look Lucky, I'm your attorney. And
I'll do whatever you want me to do.
But my private opinion is that everybody
owes it to his country to serve.
I don't owe anything to anybody.
Everything I got I got the hard way. And
many guys tried to stop me getting it.
Now, there's no use getting
belligerent about it.
Because unless a man has bona-fide
exemptions, he goes when he's called.
Yeah?
- Yeah.
You don't have a wife and children
tucked away somewhere, do you?
Don't be stupid. Women are okay
in their place, but not to marry.
Well now, parents in some cases
are grounds for exemption.
What about yours?
- I haven't got any.
I mean I never knew who they were.
First thing I remember, I was in an
orphanage labelled as .. un-adoptable.
Well, I'm afraid you're in for it Lucky.
- Well, take another "think".
If I've got to get some
dependants, you get me some.
What?
- You hard of hearing?
But .. you just said you
don't know your parents.
Sure.
There must be some old fag who's willing
to call me "sonny" for the right amount?
That's fantastic.
I'm not paying you to
tell me I'm "fantastic".
Get going. I'll have a mother by morning
or I'll put you back chasing ambulances.
I never chased an ambulance in my life.
Okay, if you'd like it better,
we'll have one chasing you!
Alright Lucky, I ..
Better go with him Slip, in case he
starts waving that flag some more.
Good morning Lucky. I'd like to
have you meet your "mother".
Hello Mister. Or should
I call you "son"?
You just keep your lip buttoned up.
Is this the best you could do?
Well, I couldn't very well
hire Whistler's mother.
But this is the old dame who's always
mooching quarters on Times Square.
She's drunk all the time.
- I'm not. I can't afford it.
Don't you know better than
to be drinking at your age?
I'd rather be drinking at your age.
But .. time marches on.
I know she isn't perfect
Lucky, but she'll have to do.
Well .. just keep your mouth shut and
don't breathe on anybody in there.
I'll give you fifty bucks
when you come out.
Fifty bucks? Why, for that I'd do a
swan-dive off the Statue Of Liberty.
Now Lucky. The head of the board will be
sympathetic if you don't antagonize him.
Now I play golf with him. I've told him
you're applying for reclassification ..
On the basis of new evidence.
Never mind the college talk.
Just keep me out of the Army.
Mr Jordan, the only physical deficiency
I see listed here is "Rose Fever".
Yeah, I'm allergic to roses.
I break out all over, and start
coughing and sneezing.
Of course .. not many battles
are fought in rose gardens.
Mr Hunnicutt, when Mr Jordan
filled in that questionnaire ..
He listed his parents as "unknown" as he
honestly did not know their whereabouts.
But since then, he has
located his mother.
I see.
Rather strange, isn't it? Finding your
mother just when you need an exemption?
She just showed up.
Are you dependent on this man?
- Am I?
How much does your son contribute each
month to your support, Mrs Jordan?
I give her a thousand bucks a month.
- A thou ..?
Well that's very generous, isn't it?
- I believe in treating her right.
Well, I see no problem
here, none whatever.
Anyone who can afford that much for his
mother obviously is well enough fixed ..
To serve his country without sacrifice.
Appeal denied.
George, I don't think you've
explored every angle of this case.
Mr Jordan's resources ..
Ernie, if we explored every angle,
we'd have to turn it over to the FBI.
Mr Jordan, you'll be inducted on
the date originally set .. good day.
I'm not through yet Lucky,
I have other contacts.
Id the worst came to the worst.
I'll get you transferred to here in town
where you can carry on running things.
You'd better.
- Oh well, I will.
I'll just retain every payment
of yours until you do.
Well, goodbye Mrs Jordan .. goodbye.
Did I do alright, Mr Jordan?
Sure you did. You made
me glad I'm an orphan.
Thanks! Thanks a lot Mr Jordan.
Thanks.
Oh, my corns are getting bigger
and bigger and bigger.
Shouldn't we get Jordan up?
- I'm not going to touch him.
What are you afraid of? He
hasn't got his mob here.
Well then you do it.
- Yeah.
Hey Jordan .. wake up.
Listen, Bob .. I want you
get one thing straight.
As long as I'm bunking here,
I don't want to be disturbed.
And I'm not going to
hang out any sign either.
I was just doing you a favor Jordan.
We're due out on the morning line.
When it goes to twenty-to-one,
let me know.
Jordan!
Jordan!
Come on, get out of here. Blow.
You might as well learn
that this is the Army.
At five-thirty the bugle blows. At
six-fifteen you're on the meat-line.
For the next half-hour you've
got nothing to do but eat.
And then we start the day's work.
That goes on every day, week in,
and week out. Just like a clock.
And you'll go like a clock too, or I'll
wind you up and break your mainspring.
Captain .. how much do you make here?
78 dollars a month.
How'd you like to make 780?
Say .. do you that think you can
bribe the United States Army?
That's what I'm trying to find out.
- Jordan, get up out of that bed!
Okay, okay, don't strain your tonsils.
Where did you get the fancy bloomers?
I like to look my best in case
people drop in on me at night.
Get out of that panty-waist
and into your denims.
We're going on fatigue duty,
and I mean fatigue for you!
Hello Helen, anything doing?
No, pretty dull today. That
soldier's been here all morning.
He didn't even go out at noon.
I asked him if he wanted anything,
but he just looked at me.
And then went on staring
at that magazine.
Some boys who are away from home
for the first time are pretty shy.
I don't know, but somehow I think
he's been away from home before.
Put any root-beer on ice?
- There's plenty of everything.
Bye, Jill.
- Bye.
Hello soldier .. I understand
you didn't have any lunch.
What you do? You get your face lifted.
- What?
What happened to the other dame?
- She's gone for the day. I relieve her.
It's a relief to me too.
What about a midnight
supper in my tent tonight?
You're pretty fresh.
You're pretty .. period.
Hey, cute-eyes.
How about a bottle of beer
to go with this empty bowl?
I really don't think
you ought to drink this.
With all that popcorn inside you,
you'll swell up like a balloon.
That'd be great.
Then I could sail away from this camp
and nobody would know the difference.
What's a matter with
you? Are you homesick?
Yeah.
Pretty lonesome.
I miss having my own things.
Don't tell anybody, but I always
slept with a teddy-bear.
If you were busy, you might
not be so lonesome.
Haven't they given you anything to do?
Sure, the Colonel's got
me on special detail.
He wants me to think of some
way to entertain the soldiers.
Hey, wait a minute, I got it!
We build a staircase
of peppermint candy.
Then while the band plays
"Beat Me Daddio To The Bar".
You come down in a pair
of high heels and chevrons.
Then for a gag at the end we ..
Drop the chevrons off.
I'm glad you thought of that.
Now there's no reason for you
to hang around here anymore.
Oh yes there is. The Navy wants me
to think up something for the sailors.
Excuse me, Dearie. But maybe you could
give me a steer. I'm looking for my boy.
Did you ask for him at headquarters?
They told me to at the gate, but
all these buildings look the same.
Go back to the next
corner and turn left.
I had a feeling I overshot it.
Hot ain't it.
- Yes, it is.
You haven't got a drink around
here? Have you Dearie?
I've got some nice cold
root-beer inside.
Never mind .. I'll be running along.
Oh, it's no trouble at all. I'll
get it for you in a minute.
Why hello, son.
What are you doing here?
- I just came down to see you, son.
What for?
Well, I got sort of lonesome.
You did, huh ..
Nice having you come down.
- Well, that sounds more like my boy.
I guess I sort of took you by surprise.
- Yeah.
Ain't you going to kiss me?
Yes, sure.
You're stiff.
I ain't neither. I had a couple after
breakfast, but I ain't had any since.
Okay, okay. Break it up.
Won't you sit down, Ma?
- Thanks.
I'm alright on asphalt, but those
gravel paths really kill me.
Well?
I hope you ain't sore at me Mr Jordan.
I mean, me coming down here to see you.
But it makes a mother sort of
proud, having a boy in the army.
You're crocked to your eyeballs.
Honest I ain't, Mr Jordan.
Then what did you come down here for?
Well, since I'm sort of your mother.
I thought you'd like to know I'm broke.
- Oh. A shakedown, huh?
It must be worth something. That lawyer
said he would get you a nice, soft job.
I don't think you'd get it if they
knew you lied about your mother.
I paid you off once.
- It didn't last. I had house-guests.
I suppose you want me to keep
you in gin the rest of your life?
Honest Mr Jordan, things have been
tough. I've been working hard.
But people are buying war-stamps
with their quarters now.
How much do you want?
- For a hundred, I can see my way clear.
I'll give you fifty but
not another cent.
Can you make it seventy-five?
Come on. Blow.
Well goodbye, son.
I told you to blow. Get out,
and don't come back.
Goodbye, Dearie.
You haven't had your cold drink yet.
I don't think I want it now.
I .. I couldn't help seeing what
happened. Please don't be upset.
A lot of the boys are edgy
when they first get here.
That's alright Dearie. Goodbye.
The idea, of a man treating
his mother that way!
I didn't ask her out here.
I think you're disgusting,
I'm going to report you.
For what?
I've been here long enough to know that
nobody can spend all day in the canteen.
You're AWOL.
- Wait a minute, sister.
How much do you make here?
- Why?
Whatever it is, I'll double it
if you keep your mouth shut.
This is the man, Colonel.
- What's your unit, soldier?
Woodpeckers Of America .. what's yours?
Come on Jordan, you've got a
visitor at MP Headquarters.
Man, woman or what?
- It's your lawyer.
Yeah? In that case, you'd
better start packing my things.
You can talk in here.
- Hello Lucky. Well, how are things?
How do they look?
I'll be out of this
ice-box in three days.
What you doing about
that soft job in New York?
Lucky, I've done my level best.
I've pulled strings like a puppeteer.
But I can't do a thing.
It's not good enough Higgins.
It didn't used to be hard
to fix the City or the State.
But you can't fix Washington. To begin
with, you can't find who's in charge.
Okay, Higgins .. I'm
breaking out of here.
But that's ridiculous. You've
only got three days to go.
Go where? I'm not going
to stay in this Army.
I've got money stashed all over the
country under six different names.
I'm going to sit this war out
someplace where they can't find me.
With a blond in one hand,
and a steak in the other.
But that's desertion.
Now I'm not a finicky man, I can
close my eyes to lots of things ..
But desertion in time of war?
This is the kiss-off, Higgins.
Now look Lucky, don't try anything
will you. At least not until I go.
They might say its collusion. I might
end up in the federal penitentiary.
You'll be right at home
with the rest of your clients.
Hey sergeant!
- What's up?
Plenty. Take a look at
this man's left-hand pocket.
My pocket?
- What's he got there?
Take a look.
I haven't got a thing in my pocket.
Not a single, solitary thing.
Except a .. a golf tee. See.
That isn't what I saw.
Let's have a look in there.
Oh Lucky!
Get away from that door!
Now you've involved me.
- Yeah.
I wish I could stick around and see what
excuse you'll use to get out of this.
Take it easy will you, Lucky.
Look .. look, I didn't have
anything to do with this.
I'll show you the way out, sir.
- I know the way out.
Don't use the main gate. The convoy is
going. You'll have to use the side gate.
Alright.
You got your pass-out ticket?
- Yes.
Fine. Turn left by those buildings.
Right.
Go ahead.
What goes on?
- It's a stick-up.
I thought I recognized you when you
passed me back on the highway.
I followed you just to be sure.
You're AWOL again!
Get out of my car!
- Sorry sister, mine seems to be hot.
Did you hear what I said?
Get out of here!
Where are you going?
- Over the hill.
Well, you're not taking me with you.
Do you realize this is kidnapping?
What are you talking about? You're
so crazy about me, you followed me.
Look. If you want my car,
take it. But let me out.
You're too nosy. You go
around reporting people.
Stop, or I'll throw this out!
Wasn't mine, anyway.
Just how long do you intend
to keep me with you?
Until I'm in the clear.
In case you're interested,
you're almost out of gas.
You won't get very far, my friend.
And when they catch you I hope they put
you in prison for the rest of your life.
Hey!
It's after seven. There isn't
a station open in the East.
We'll sleep here tonight and get
gas when they open in the morning.
Go to sleep .. the minute
you do, I'm leaving ..
Get out.
What are you going to do with me?
- Going to bed you down for the night.
No, thank you.
- I said "Get out"!
Oh no you don't. You
can't put me in there.
Listen cute-eyes, is that fair?
How do you know you won't
like it until you've been inside?
I'll be good. I promise I
won't try to run away.
You might walk in your sleep.
Let me go! Do you hear?
Put me down, do you hear? Put me down!
Oh, please don't. I'll sleep in the car.
I'm sleeping there myself.
There's not much room, but
I'm willing to split it with you.
That's very nice of you.
But I'll go in here.
Look .. what good is it going
to do to keep me locked up?
You're not going any place in the
morning. You can't get any gas.
You haven't got a ration card.
That's right. But you must have one.
Alright, where is it?
They didn't give me one.
I was full of gas.
Okay. I don't mind looking for it.
Never mind, I'll give it to you.
There you are!
Let me out of here!
Open the door!
Where are you?
- Now, what's the matter?
You can't leave me in here. It's dark.
- Well, turn on the light.
I can't find it .. give me some matches.
The guy that owns this coat doesn't
smoke. He hasn't got any matches.
But he does have a gas card.
Let me out of here!
Used to be people didn't even get
out of the car when I put the gas in.
Nowadays, they're all over the place.
Squeezing the hose, to be sure
to get the three gallons.
How did you come to get one of
these C-books? You an official?
I'm a .. dog catcher.
- You don't say.
Do they get them too?
Did you ever try catching
a wire-hare on foot?
I'll get you the change.
Well .. good afternoon, Mr Jordan.
Lucky!
- Hello Slip.
I see you're taking things
over from me okay.
Run along Pearl.
Hey.
You've lost weight.
I've been awfully worried
about you Mr Jordan.
Yeah, I noticed you just had a
fainting spell on the couch.
Well, it's good to see you again, boss.
I hope you don't mind my clowning
around with Pearl a little.
Why should I mind? It's no good
letting a dame with red hair cool off.
How come you ain't wearing
your soldier pants?
I left them in that camp.
I figured that some guy who was going
to stay in that Army might need them.
How hot are you?
I don't know.
About six miles out from that camp,
a couple of guys in a big car jumped me.
Yeah?
I don't know what they were after,
but they seemed satisfied with a ..
A couple of right-crosses.
Where's that briefcase, Lucky?
How do you know about that?
- That can come later. Where is it?
Listen, almond-eyes.
When you ask me a question,
your voice better go up on the end.
I didn't mean nothing like that Lucky,
bit that briefcase is kind of important.
That's better.
Now, get out of that chair and
tell me how you know so much.
Well.
I sent those guys who jumped you.
Of course, they didn't know it was you.
That guy you clipped back in the
camp was an Army engineer.
That briefcase he was carrying was
full of hot dope. New tank armor.
Since when did you get
interested in tanks?
Look Lucky, in our business you've
got to keep yourself up to date.
Those dog tracks, and bookie
joints and slot machines.
They're old-fashioned now.
They weren't bad.
Maybe they'll be alright
again after the war's over.
But right now, the heavy
sugar is in something else.
I ran into a couple of foreign lugs.
They'll pay anything you want to ask.
For stuff like that report on the tank
armor you've been carrying around.
That little briefcase is worth
fifty .. thousand .. rocks.
Yeah?
Sure.
You get a thousand bucks for just
finding out where a troop train went.
In American money?
- Sure.
Why I got twenty thousand
for setting an oil-rig on fire.
Did you do that?
- No .. but they don't know I didn't.
You been doing alright Slip.
- Thanks, boss.
But they're getting a little itchy about
me not finding that briefcase, Lucky.
Where is it?
- I don't know.
The dame I had with me
threw it out of the car.
Where?
I didn't pay any attention. The
dame must know where it is.
Where is she now?
- I parked her with Joe Maggotti.
We'll pick her up. I need a few grand
to rattle in my pocket until I cool off.
What was this dame
doing with you anyhow?
She saw me blowing out the camp. I took
her along to keep her from squawking.
You're treating her pretty
gentle, ain't you Lucky?
Best way to keep a dame from
squawking is to break her squawker.
How to you do, Mr Jordan.
I'll tell Mrs Maggotti you're here.
Hello Lucky.
- Hiya. - Hi.
Have a cup of tea?
- No thanks, Vera.
Where's the dame I parked
with you last night?
She's upstairs. I'll get her for
you. Make yourself at home.
Twelfth Night.
What happens then?
You got me.
You can come downstairs now.
- I won't do it.
If anybody lays a hand on me,
I'll break this lamp on him.
Come on. Mr Jordan's waiting.
Well ..
No bargain, but it's
better than staying here.
Hello Lucky. Did you
see the paper today?
Quit reading them Joe. You can't believe
a thing you see in them anymore.
I hope this is not true.
Don't sweat all over that new
suit, Joe. I'm leaving right away.
You know, I like it very much to
help you out any time, Lucky.
But this .. I don't like.
Hello cute-eyes.
- Take me out of this place.
Hey, she's okay, Lucky. Now I know
why you didn't break her squawker.
Thanks for keeping her
on ice. Goodbye Vera.
Goodbye, Lucky.
About here, I think Slip.
What do you say, cute-eyes?
- This isn't it.
That's what I wanted to know.
Alright, you can stop here Slip.
Now, you'll save us a lot of time if
you tell us where you threw it.
I'll kick it out of her boss.
Do you really think I'd help you
get hold of military information?
How do you know what's in the briefcase?
- It's pretty obvious.
He escapes from an Army
camp by stealing a car.
There's a briefcase in it
that doesn't belong to him.
He doesn't even care
when I throw it out.
Now suddenly, it's very valuable.
This dame is too smart to live.
- Never mind, we'll find it ourselves.
You walk along the road,
and we'll take this field.
Come on. Walk in front of me.
Thanks!
Hey Slip! I got it.
- Coming.
Good work boss. Let's see it.
- Sure.
It's 12 o'clock Cinderella, and
I'm going to turn you into a squash.
Am I going to love it. I've been
waiting for you for a long time.
I had a hunch you were beginning
to like that big chair of mine.
From now on, it's my big chair.
You're all through, Lucky.
You ain't a big-shot any more.
You're just a washed-up little drip.
I thought you were getting
too big for your pants.
I was to have you hammered down but got
busy with Army stuff and let it slide.
Bad business, letting things
pile up on your desk like that.
Proves you're getting old-fashioned.
Why, you're so out-of-date
you ought to be retired.
But, I'm going to do you one
favor, just for old time's sake.
Where do you want it?
In the front or in the back?
You're ahead of yourself, Slip.
That briefcase is empty.
What have you given me?
Don't!
Why not?
- It's murder.
Self-defence.
- Oh, please.
If I let him go now, he wakes up with a
headache and later I get it in the back.
If I give him one more kick he misses a
headache and I don't get it in the back.
Lucky!
You can't do it.
What are you going to do with that?
- What do you think?
I think a lot of things, but I was
hoping you were going to return it.
A pretty long ride back to the camp.
- Oh, but don't you see?
If you take it back they'll never press
charges and I'd say there was no kidnap.
You'll be square with everyone.
Yeah. I'll be square behind the
8-ball and right back in the Army.
But at a time like this, you
can't sell your country short.
I'm not selling anything short.
I wouldn't take a cent less than
a hundred grand for this.
Listen cute-eyes. Never
look where you're diving.
It tips off which way you're going.
Can't get any more of those,
can you? Stockings, I mean.
Well, it's time to put
you up for the night.
Oh, you're not going to do
that to me again, are you?
Sure.
- Oh, please don't.
You being so nosy and patriotic,
there's nothing else I can do.
I'll be good, I won't try to run away.
- I can't take that chance. Come on.
At least, let me have a cigarette first.
Thanks.
How can you do this?
- What?
Sell that information to the other side.
- Why not?
You know, you're absolutely un-moral.
You haven't faith in anyone or anything.
I shouldn't think it would be worth it.
You must feel miserable and alone.
Me?
I'm never alone. I spend every night
in a nightclub with a show going on.
You don't know what I'm talking about.
- Sure I do.
You're trying to talk me out
of selling the briefcase.
You bet I am.
You think this war hasn't anything
to do with you .. but it has.
The whole world is involved,
and everybody in it.
If we lose, we'll end up
slaves .. Nazi slaves.
That means you too.
Whether you like it or not.
No it don't.
When things change, a smart
guy figures out a new angle.
It's the klutzes who go around
getting their heads knocked off.
You never had an idea in your life where
you didn't figure the angles first.
I mean, what it meant to you and what
you thought you could get out of it.
Anybody who don't is a sucker.
Very well, then.
Let's take it step by step.
Let's find out what the angles
are for you in this thing.
You're established, in well,
whatever business you're in.
You seem to like it, and you
make a lot of money at it.
I'm doing okay.
Well, to be completely
realistic and selfish.
You must want to keep things pretty
much the way they are, don't you?
Yeah.
Then you must want the country
you live in to win, don't you?
Sure I do.
Well, now we're getting
some place .. alright.
If you want the country you live in
to win .. why aren't you helping?
Well, the way I see it,
it's like a fight at The Garden.
You may want the guy with purple pants
to win, you may bet a few bucks on him.
But you don't want him to win enough ..
That you'll climb up in that ring and
get your face bashed in helping him.
I give up. You're impossible.
I can't appeal to you on any basis.
Animal, vegetable or mineral.
Or human.
Guess it's time to lock you
up in the blue room again.
Would you .. mind if I washed
my face in that stream first?
No. Go ahead.
Let me up.
Alright. Come on, get up.
Go ahead.
I don't get you.
I thought at least I'd have
to spar a few rounds.
What does it matter?
It don't.
It's just that some dames
are hard to convince.
I guess I had you figured out all wrong.
I thought you were a regular
ice-cube until I kissed you.
Even an ice-cube has to
be .. defrosted one in a while.
Goodnight.
Ahhhhhhhh!!
What's the matter?
- There's something in there.
Hey, come on! Open it up!
Just a minute now.
Oh, Mr Jordan, I wouldn't have had this
happen for the world. He was just ..
I know what he was doing.
Look, tomorrow you tell Slip to meet in
front of Marty's Place on 42nd street.
I'll be there at noon.
If he has a hundred grand cash, he can
have that briefcase he's so crazy about.
Now, you got that straight?
Yes, I have Mr Jordan.
- Okay.
Mr Jordan, please don't misunderstand
about this man. Because he's only ..
I know. He's your "cousin".
When he wakes up, you tell
him your "uncle" was here.
Can you spare a quarter, mister?
Could you spare a quarter
mister? Cheapskate.
Mr Jordan, please. I've
got something to tell you.
Come on, blow!
They're staked out all round
Marty's, waiting for you.
Who's staked out?
- A bunch of torpedoes.
I saw them when I went by.
I thought I'd tell you in case
you wasn't expecting them.
Is Slip Moran with them?
- If he is, he ain't advertising it.
Thanks.
You'd better be careful where
you hide out Mr Jordan.
I'll take care of that.
- But you're hotter than a stove.
Everyone's after you: Slip, the FBI, the
Army, a big-shot who's lost his dog.
Come on. Blow, will you.
I'm trying to tell you that you can
hide out at my place if you want to.
Nobody would ever think
of looking for you there.
Where is your place?
- Over the Green Apple on Folsom Street.
Would there be room for
me there with those gin bottles?
I don't think you can be too choosy.
Okay, let's have your key.
Could you spare a quarter
mister for a cup of coffee?
Oh. I think so, yes.
Two bits for a cup of coffee?
You wouldn't want me to dine in
the cheaper places, would you?
Hello, Mr Jordan.
Glad you're making yourself comfortable.
- On this sofa?
How's business?
I never saw as many
cheapskates in my life.
I knocked off early.
Hope you got something
to eat in that bag.
I got some stew on the stove.
All I got to do is warm it up.
Do you like stew Mr Jordan?
I'd rather have guinea-hen and a glass.
But if that's all you got,
I won't turn it down.
Cruised past Marty's after you left and
hit one of them torpedoes for a quarter.
He was waiting for you alright.
He gave me four bits to keep moving.
Haven't got any cash, but I'm
working on a deal right now.
If I put it across, I'll slip
you a couple of C's.
You don't need to.
What do you give me? Think
you can get more out of Slip?
If that's the way you feel,
you can get out of here!
I don't get it.
I didn't tell you to come here
so I could put the bite on you.
No?
Doing me a favor free of charge?
Not exactly.
Kind of hard to explain.
Something happened that day I went
to the camp to shake you down.
Everybody was so nice to me when they
found out I had a boy in the Army.
And then, on the train, I met
a couple of other mothers.
They was lying about their kids.
I wasn't going to let them get away with
anything. So I started lying about you.
And I topped them all.
I froze them up alright.
Yeah? What'd you tell them?
I told them you'd never been
away from home before.
But in three months you
was already a Lieutenant.
They grassed around a little. And then
they started flashing baby pictures.
You know the kind, little monkeys flat
naked. They thought they had me there.
Ha! So, I just cracked open a newspaper.
And showed them a picture
of a good-looking soldier.
For a minute, they thought they'd nailed
me as it said "Captain" in the picture.
So I said: well, what do you know?
He's got himself promoted again.
That's when they froze.
When I saw you today, it
hit me like a ton of bricks ..
That you was walking into a trap.
I did just what a mother would do.
It felt good to know you needed me.
And I could do something for you.
Don't get so tied up in the "mother" act
that you tell folk I'm back home again.
They couldn't get anything
out of me with a crowbar.
Where can I hide this?
- Under the mattress, I'll show ..
That's the first place
anybody would look.
I got just the place.
How do you like that?
I asked the landlord to fix it. He says,
for what I pay I'm lucky to have a room.
It'll do.
Ain't that a pretty shawl?
I got that at one of the big
department stores on 5th Avenue.
It dropped into my
umbrella one rainy day.
Yeah? Where'd you get the umbrella?
Out of the umbrella department.
Why didn't you walk past a
couple of steaks tonight?
When it comes right down to it, there's
nothing like good home cooking.
Especially if he can't
get out to a restaurant.
Is it alright?
Got enough pepper? Enough salt?
Got enough pepper and salt,
but it's a little bit shy on meat.
But ain't I the stupid one.
I gave it all to myself.
Look, I've got to go out after a while.
I want you to stay in and watch things.
You think you ought to go out?
- Yeah. It's business.
With the money you've got, you shouldn't
go risking your neck for a few dollars.
With all the money I got, I don't
dare show my face in a bank.
That's why I've got to
put this deal through.
Want some more?
- Same as this?
Sure.
No thanks. I've got to get going.
Sorry there ain't desert. We was to have
pineapple, but the grocer looked around.
Hello, Slip.
Couldn't keep my appointment today,
because I don't like double-crossers.
Give me one more chance.
I'll meet you tomorrow at 11 o'clock
in a toy store on 5th Avenue.
And it's no use framing me,
because I won't have the stuff.
Yeah, you'll get it when you've forked
over a hundred grand in cash.
What'll it be, gentlemen?
Open up the cash register,
and shut your mouth.
Back room for you, El Ropo!
Put Slip Moran on, this is Harrison.
[ Door knocks ]
Who is it?
- It's me. Open up.
I've been having the quick-jumps.
- Relax. It was just a phone call.
What's that?
I .. brought you a Mother's Day present.
You didn't?
- I said I did.
Gin!
That's the sweetest thing
a kid ever gave his mother.
Don't get stiff.
Thanks Mr Jordan.
Come on. Blow. I've got to get to bed.
Goodnight .. son.
Goodnight .. Ma.
And remember.
I don't care how you get it.
Understand?
We can't keep these in stock.
Amusing, isn't it?
- Yeah. It's kind of cute.
Boys just love it.
A 3-year-old can operate it.
Yeah? Let me take a crack at it.
- Certainly.
If you're not too busy,
I'd like to talk to you.
Oh, hello Lucky .. here's a great little
gadget. Let me show you how it works.
Some other time.
I got a hundred thousand things
I want to take care of today.
I'll take it.
I'll have one wrapped for you.
I'm sure the little boy will love it.
Now, will there be anything else, sir?
- Come on, blow.
I want to talk to the little boy.
Hey, I like this place.
How come you tell me to meet you here?
Figured if you asked any of your friends
to drop in they'd be kinda conspicuous.
Bring the dough?
- You bring the thing?
I told you I wouldn't have it with me.
- Kind of a one-sided deal, ain't it?
Now look, we went all
through that on the phone.
Give me the dough, and you get
the stuff before midnight tonight.
I don't know. I talked to them foreign
lugs until I was black in the face.
They just won't pay that kind of dough.
- Well, they just won't get it.
[ Police siren ]
A fine thing for a kid to play with.
Nope, Lucky. They won't pay a cent
more than .. seventy-five grand.
Alright, give me the seventy-five.
Wait a minute, I got to talk to them.
How'd I know you was going to take it?
What is this? A stall?
Trying to double-talk me until someone
gets here with a Tommy-gun?
The only Tommy-guns
in this joint shoot corks.
Look goose-neck.
I don't know what you're trying to frame
but I'm giving you one last chance.
You meet me here at
5 o'clock this afternoon.
And be sure you have that seventy-five
grand on you, or I'll burn the stuff.
Okay, Lucky. If I don't show,
you'll know the deal fell through.
I got a feeling that you got a feeling
the deal is going to fall through.
Well, you know these foreign lugs.
It ain't like you and me dealing.
Yeah.
With you, I'd know
exactly what to expect.
That's why you don't get your hands on
the stuff until I get mine on the dough.
And ten makes twenty. Thank you sir.
I just wish I could see the
little boy when he gets it.
The little boy don't know it yet.
But he's already got it.
Son.
- What happened?
Be careful.
A couple of men come.
Looking for that briefcase.
Slapped me around something awful.
I didn't tell them where it was.
They couldn't make me tell.
I'll take care of Slip for this.
I'll take care of those
foreign lugs too.
Watch out .. they're mean guys.
The stuff they want so bad is going
where it will hurt them most.
Right back to the Army.
Why don't you go back too?
If you set your mind to it, you could
be a better soldier than any of them.
I'll get a doctor.
You think you'll be alright for a while?
- Uhuh.
Get that .. briefcase out of here, now.
Yup.
Go on and get it .. I'll be alright.
Son.
Okay.
Ma.
Son .. son .. are you alright, son?
Oh! Oh, you scared me, Mr Jordan.
What happened here? Where's Slip?
- I haven't any idea.
This morning, he just up and
moved, and now I'm out of a job.
Where'd he move to?
- I don't know.
What are you doing back here?
- I left earrings up here somewhere.
Right, you better tell me where Slip is.
- Honest Mr Jordan. I don't know.
They haven't let me know a thing lately.
But I think maybe Slip's gone straight.
Don't give me that.
Honest Mr Jordan. I think he's
started a nursery or something.
I mean for flowers.
Flowers are all he talks about.
I guess there's a lot
of money in it, too.
Just this morning he sold some
tulips for fifty-thousand dollars.
That's an expensive bouquet.
What kind of tulips were they?
- I can't remember.
Come on, he that red head up. This is
important. It's all I've got to go on.
It was "Torch Of .." something.
"Torch Of Holland". That's what it was.
- Who'd he sell them to?
I don't know. I'd tell you if I did.
Okay.
I'll be at the same
place until the 18th.
Why don't you come see me?
- Some other time, Pearl.
I'm avoiding crowds right now.
Yes, sir?
I want some information about a tulip.
It's called the "Torch Of Holland".
Oh. I'm sorry sir. We haven't had any
of those bulbs since the war started.
Know where I can find any?
I'm afraid not.
It's a very rare variety.
But we have a lovely California
bulb that's almost the same color.
There's just a little
more pink on the petals.
No thanks .. if I could find one,
how much would it cost?
Oh. I should say, about
fifteen dollars a bulb.
I know one that costs fifty thousand.
Liar.
There's a possibility you might be able
to find one at the Kilpatrick Gardens.
They have the most elaborate
displays around here.
Yeah? Where's that?
- On Long Island. Beyond Rockaway.
Far beyond.
Thanks.
You won't be able to go out through the
garden sir. It's almost closing time.
I just want to look at the tulips.
- Take the path to the right.
Got the names on them?
- Everything in the garden is labelled.
Is there a telephone here?
- Not a public phone.
Why, it's very important.
- Local call?
No. I want to talk to
the FBI in New York.
This is a house-phone.
I will have to get you a line.
Oh thanks. Please hurry.
Hello. This is Miller at the gate.
There's a lady here wants to contact
the FBI. Will you please connect me?
Thank you. Here you are Miss.
- Thanks.
Hello?
Hello, is this FBI? Let me
speak to Mr Hearndon please.
Well, Mr Hearndon's not in.
But my name is "Bowman". May I help you?
Yes. This is Jill Evans.
I've followed Jordan out
to the Kilpatrick Gardens.
On Long Island. If you hurry
here, you'll catch him.
Well, we'll get there as
soon as we possibly can.
But in the meantime you'd better
go direct to Mr Kilpatrick.
Aha! And explain the situation to him.
Well, he'll have to hold
Jordan until we arrive.
That's fine. Okay. Goodbye.
What's up, Kilpatrick?
I'm now a member of the FBI.
At least, for the next half-hour.
I doubt if you will get away with it.
Your face isn't stupid enough.
I can be convincing.
I had better go to my room.
I always laugh at tragedies.
And cry at comedies.
Come in.
A young lady, a "Miss Evans"
would like to see you sir.
Yes. Show her in Charles. Show her in.
- Certainly, sir.
See you at dinner, Kesselman.
Definitely. I'm hungry as a Frenchman.
Miss Evans, sir.
Good afternoon.
- Sorry to bother you Mr Kilpatrick.
But Mr Bowman of the
FBI asked me to see you.
Bowman? How is Bowman?
I don't know him. I just talked
to him on the telephone.
You see, there's a man here in your
gardens that the FBI wants very badly.
Hey you.
You got a tulip here
called "Torch Of Holland"?
That block.
What's so special about it?
- Very rare.
Sorry, sir. This greenhouse
isn't open to the public.
I just saw a man go in there.
You must be mistaken sir. Mr Kilpatrick
keeps his prize flowers in here.
He doesn't allow anyone inside.
That's the closing bell, sir.
You'll have to go now.
They rang the bell for us to leave. And
now you won't let us leave. Why is that?
It'll be just a few minutes sir.
There's been some trouble.
Well, I'm not in trouble.
I want to go.
Is he here?
No, he isn't.
Has anyone gone out Miller?
- Not for the last fifteen minutes.
Well, you people can go then.
I'm sorry I had to keep you.
This means he's still in the grounds.
- Maybe he'll go over your wall.
Not that wall.
If he ever gets to the top, he'll find
the wires carry a pretty stiff current.
Pull all the gardeners together and
have them search the grounds thoroughly.
You'll find a man hiding somewhere.
- Yes, sir.
Don't worry. We'll catch your fugitive.
Wiley, take Miss Evans up to the house.
And have Charles fix a drink for her.
I'll be with you in a few minutes.
I want to check the grounds myself.
Thank you Mr Kilpatrick.
- Not at all.
One tank looks like another to me.
And I'm not an engineer.
Kesselman is.
I'll let him study these tonight.
If he says they're alright,
you'll get your money tomorrow.
You know, this was tough job.
- I know. And you've done it very well.
Ready for another assignment right away?
- Always like to keep busy.
Well, a trainload of precision machinery
is leaving for the West Coast tomorrow.
I wouldn't mind seeing it derailed.
- Okay.
Same code? "Torch Of Holland"?
It's getting a bit late
in the season for tulips.
Let's make it "gardenias" this time.
I'll send you a wire saying the
"gardenias" have been shipped.
There he goes! Get him!
Hey, not over those tulips you idiots!
You can chase him on the grass.
Will you let me in please?
I left my umbrella inside.
Well, I'm sorry sir, but it's against
the rules to let anyone in after hours.
Then don't let me in. It's around the
gate somewhere. Just hand it to me.
I'll see if it's in the gatehouse.
Are you sure you had it with you?
If you don't produce my
umbrella, I'll call the police.
Here it is.
- Thank you .. I'm sure.
That stupid oaf!
I bet he has a fine collection of
purses, gloves, umbrellas and whatnot.
Probably does a brisk
business selling them.
You weren't so impressive Clarence.
You shouldn't antagonize people.
The man didn't know it was there.
If I weren't aggressive, people
would be walking all over me.
I wouldn't be "Assistant Credit Manger".
There. After all your talk about fine
weather, it's started to rain already.
Maybe you still think I was silly.
To go back after my umbrella.
What is it, Clarence?
- Why listen to this.
"Take this to FBI.
Send them to gardens."
"Hurry."
This is extraordinary.
What are you going to do?
What am I going to do?
What am I going to do?
I'll throw it across the wall of course.
- But it must be important.
That's how you get trouble. Interfering
in something that doesn't concern you.
If I took it to the FBI, they'd
probably arrest me as spy.
Help! Mr Kilpatrick, gardeners, I've
got him! Mr Kilpatrick, I've got him.
Help! Stop!
- Get away from there.
Alright.
Get your hands up!
Now get over there.
Well, thank you Miss Evans.
What are you doing with
this bunch of spies?
I'm sorry you're put to all
this trouble Mr Kilpatrick.
Not at all. Not at all.
I'm glad to help.
Charles, ask Mr Kesselman
to come downstairs, will you.
Yes, sir.
May I use your telephone? I want to
call my father and tell him where I am.
I'm afraid not.
What?
Well, you see .. you now know so
much about my business interests.
That uh .. well, I can't let you go.
But I talked to the FBI.
They told me to see you.
You talked to me, on the house-phone.
Too bad cute-eyes.
Sit down, Miss Evans.
Charles tells me the guests
have arrived. - Yes.
I am certainly glad this one came.
And this must be the
notorious Mr Jordan.
Well.
This is up to you Moran. I don't
consider that report delivered.
You'll have to get it if you
want your fifty thousand.
You better talk while you've
still got teeth to talk through.
You will just addle his brain that way.
What do I care what I do to his brain?
You want him to remember what
he did with that report, don't you?
Well .. there are better ways.
In Poland.
We found this worked very well.
You drive these under the
fingernails .. and light them.
We used to call it the "Danzig Hotfoot".
A pure Pole will stand a lot of heat.
Americans are such mongrels.
Nothing personal.
It will be interesting to find
out how quickly they break.
Wait a minute.
So soon?
- I'll tell you where it is.
You have no stamina at all. Have you?
Where is it, Lucky?
I threw it under that bridge
that goes over the pond.
I'll get it.
I'll come along with you, Moran. And
you two, you'd better come with us.
You keep your eye on him.
You know.
This is a revelation.
I know that we Nazis are often referred
to as gangsters by our opponents.
And it's always amused me.
I've read about American gangsters.
And it seemed to me that
their viewpoints and ours ..
Were quite similar.
I was told that when they
wanted something ..
They took it.
So do we.
When somebody stood in
our way, he was eliminated.
We understand that
technique, thoroughly.
So you can imagine my shock Mr Jordan.
When I finally meet a gangster
like you .. a prominent gangster.
I discover you are
weak .. and spineless.
No.
I am no longer amused by the comparison.
Don't try to put me in
your class, Square-head.
I've knocked around a little, but beside
you, I'm a Sunday-School teacher.
You are an uncouth .. jackal.
That's what you are.
But let's talk about
something more pleasant.
Miss Evans.
Cigarette.
Don't smoke?
Are you acquainted with the Nazi
Party's estimate of American women?
No.
And I don't care to be.
Well.
We say they are sleek
and very well cared for.
But, with no souls .. whatsoever.
But the lack of soul doesn't seem
to bother that drooling idiot.
But I must say.
It doesn't bother me either.
After all, how do we know that
there is such a thing as a soul?
But the existence of legs.
That's something tangible.
Something you can put your finger on.
Philosophically speaking.
In that regard, my principal objection
to submarine travel is that you have ..
Sixty men .. twelve torpedoes.
But no women.
In the last war, I was
twenty-five years younger.
And stationed in Vienna.
I fought the war diligently.
From ten-to-five in daytime.
And from ten-to-five at night,
being statistically minded.
I made a census of all the
beautiful women in Vienna.
We lost the war .. but I had my census.
This war has been too frantic. They are
taking every city in Europe over night.
And I just had my mount set for Paris.
When I was transferred to
the espionage department.
And three days later I found myself ..
In a cold submarine somewhere
under the North Sea.
I cheered up considerably when I was
told that we were going to Florida.
But, when we arrived there, a man
rolled out, and handed me a package.
We submerged and headed
for the North Sea again.
Alright! Stay where you are Sauerkraut!
Alright, you get up there with him.
Nice going, cute-eyes.
Who fired that shot? What's happened?
Hello boys. Get your feet wet?
How'd you let this happen, Kesselman?
I'm afraid this lout knows more
about petunias than guns.
This seems to be an impasse, Jordan.
You can't get out of here, without my
setting off the alarm and catching you.
As long as you hold that gun,
I can't get very far either, can I?
I should say, about a step and a half.
- Well, exactly.
I suggest we make a deal. You wanted
a hundred thousand for that report.
Don't you?
Well, now I'm prepared to pay.
This is a pay-off alright,
but not the way you mean it.
You boys are going to
get paid off in slugs.
I don't blame you for being sore, Lucky.
But it's nothing to settle with a gun.
He offered you a hundred
grand. Ain't that what you want?
I got a customer I like better.
I'm selling to the Army
on the Instalment Plan.
They're going to pay me
fifty bucks a month for it.
Yes. But aren't you a
little confused, Jordan?
A man of your stamp can't get anything
out of being a tin-horn hero.
Why give up a hundred thousand
dollars for the sake of a country ..
That considers you an enemy of society?
Maybe because I don't
want to see that country ..
Run by a bunch of guys who go
around beating up old women.
Until I ran up against you, "Nazi"
was just a work in a newspaper to me.
Now, it's another way
to spell "cockroach".
Well, this place needs cleaning up.
For the next two minutes,
I'm a one-man Board-Of-Health.
Look. After all, you and me were pals.
- That's why I'm giving it to you first.
Now, where do you want it?
- Drop it!
Lucky, it's Mr Hearndon.
Hey. Anybody hurt?
- No.
Well Jordan, it's nice of you to be here
too, so we could get you all at once.
Wait a minute.
Who do you think sent that report out
of here in the little squirt's umbrella?
Must think up a better one than that.
But Mr Hearndon, he had these men
all rounded up when you came in.
You'd better come along with us anyway
Jordan, until we get straightened out.
0h, this always happens.
You try to help a guy, and the referee
hits you over the head with a stool.
Alright. Let's take this menagerie
downtown and lock it up in a cage.
You haven't anything to worry about.
You heard what he said about the cage?
When I tell them what you
did, they'll never keep you.
If you worry about the Army, forget it.
They'll never think you a deserter now.
Come along, Jordan!
You might even get a citation.
What's that?
- You know .. a medal.
Hey you guys, get your backs into it.
Come on Jordan, get going.
Hey you! Where do you
think you're throwing that?
Sorry, I thought it was your face.
Say, listen here ..
(Ros)