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Lying to Be Perfect (2010)
We are all Cinderella.
No matter what our size. Within each one of us there is a unique beauty and grace. Finding that beauty, however, isn't easy. See, Cinderella had to first recognize that her problem wasn't her evil stepmother. Her problem was that it was easier to hide out, cleaning the house. ...than it was to go out and find happiness. She needed a fairy godmother. ...to empower her with the kind of self confidence it takes. ...to reject the insecurity brought on by unrealistic, overachieving... ...airbrushed, anorexic princess images in the media. It took some very large ovaries for Cinderella. ...to make a change to trade in her scrub brush for a fabulous pair of dancing shoes. But boy, was it worth it. I'm gonna be so late. No! I'm so late! Not today! You okay? Yeah. It's Pumpkin, my car... Broke down. Thank you. You named you car "Pumpkin"? Yeah, she's a 65 Mustang restored. You know kind of a... ...pumpkin-into-a-coach... kind of thing. I'm at Shine. Do you work here? It's just parttime. You? Yeah. Until I get fired for being late to a meeting! Thank you! Joy, I'm late. The meeting's already started. Lori's having a stroke. Oh, my God. Nice of you to join us this morning. Lory, my car died and... So, Nancy, tell me. Can they sue us? People can sue for anything. It's my job to stop them. But let's be careful. The names we throw around when we write an article about "celebrity cougars". She should be flattered. Okay, people, other ideas. Fourty is the new twenty. Foisty foreplay tips. Feel great naked workout. Nola. We were talking about ideas for November. Yeah. Come up with something that ties Belinda Apple's book and her November column? What book? For those among you who couldn't bother to get here on time, Nola Devlin, I'll repeat myself. Stan's and Publishing which owns Shine and therefore me... wants to publish a book on Belinda Apple's columns. "Apple gets to the core" sort of... A best-of self help book. Belinda never mentioned a book to me. You edit her column. You're not her best friend. I will be writing the foreword to the book. You? You have a problem with that? No. I just thought since I edit her column I... And this matters to me because... Precisely. I'll need the next column myself. And for God sakes, clean yourself up. You should totaly be writing that intro. You know. You know Belinda better than anyone and you're an amazing writer. Thanks. It's okay. It's really exciting about the book. Yeah, for Belinda. Devlin! Lunch? Saturday? You, me and Deb? I need everything you have on Belinda Apple. Her life growing up in England, education, childhood photos... ...articles she wrote for "Go Fab" magazine before. Well, I don't have any of that. Idea. Wait! Call her! Right. Or I could do a sort of rough draft of the foreword for you and then... I'm sure your knickers are in a knot about this but look at you. No offense but you're sugar-encrusted nobody. Do you really think Stanson. wants you to write the foreword to a book by its biggest star? No. No. "No" is right. Then get me what I need. Go! Sorry to hear about your car. That's okay. But uh, Chip, the new computer guy is working today and he lives. ...near you so he could give you a ride home if you want. Chip, like "computer chip"? Anyway, shall I get him to meet you in the parking lot at six? Sure. Yes. Thank you. That would be great. - Okay - Okay. Oh, yeah. It's all limo rides for you, isn't it? Me, I get to take a ride home with the geek squad. He is computer chip? Oh! Hey, Hi! You probably don't recognize me standing upright but this really is my better side. I'm Nola Devlin. You are computer chip, right? Is that a joke? Apparently not a very good one. Thank you for waiting for me. Joy told me you live near me on the north-end. ...so I really appreciate... The ride. You did offer to give a ride, didn't you? Well, I'd be happy to give you a ride. Okay. You edit Belinda Apple's column. Yeah. So. Did you end up getting fired? No, not yet. But I am sure that that's in the works. Bad day? When I was in the 6th grade a boy asked me to a Halloween party. I went as a cheeseburger because that's the only contume that fit. Well. When I got there I found out that you were supposed to be. ...dressed as what you want to be when you grew up. Yeah. Today was worse. I don't wanna talk about it. And my car, the one that died... My dad bought me that car for my 16th birthday. You know, I mean... That cat took me to college. I was to the Jersey Shore in that car. That cat took me to Boston to see Cold Play. I made out with Ronnie Spilman in that car. That car defines me. Defined you. Past tense. Hey, look. You know, change is good. Old car dies. New car could be better. What about a... Porsche. That is my back-up fantasy car. Back-up fantasy? Well, my fantasy-fantasy car is a powder-blue 55 thunderbird. I mean, if I had to break the bank, that would be my sledgehammer. Now you're talking. Now I'm dellucinating. Can't afford that car on my salary. Don't let work get in the way of your dream. I speak from my experience. I am all about the dream and so not about the job. Girls like me don't drive cars like that. Says who? My low self-esteem. Well, maybe it's time for you to grow up, take charge of your life and be all that you can be. Oh, okay. It's the advice my father gives me. But hey, listen, if the whole dream doesn't work for you... ...you can always do as he tells me and demand change. This one. Right here. Right there? - Yeah. Thank you for the ride. It was very nice of you. Can I offer you anything for gas? No. I'm cool. All right. It's probably none of my business but... I think your father is wrong. I don't think you can demand change from people. I think you have to... inspire it. You know? Yeah. All right. Let's see what we got. You ready? Dear Belinda. This is my life. Or non-life. I am a plus-size woman in her thirties. with a cat in a pastel colored apartment. Could I be any more the stereotype? I'm under-appreciated at work. And the only physical contact I get is from my cat. Am I hopeless? Can I get out of this rut? Or should I just buy another cat? Signed "Lifeless in Los Angeles". All right, Belinda. What do you got? Dear Lifeless... Your cat must be tired of the pity-party you've been throwing yourself everyday. Maybe if you didn't put yourself down so much you wouldn't be so pathetic. You want a life? Get one. Grant yourself a wish to change. Then stop complaining and do something. Yeah, I did something. What? Hi, Lory. Lory... ...you know how you said Shine needs to distinguish itself. ...by adding an advice columnist to address issues facing women today? I said I wanted a columnist to answer all the dimwits. who ask embarasing questions about their sex lifes. Well, I answered your sample questions. ...for the advice columnist in what I believe is a biting and edgy way. Oh, you're serious. I wanna write... So, write. ...here. Lory, I wanna write here. Listen, I've been an assistant editor for over a year. And before I came to Shine I wrote. ...articles for my college paper. Good stuff. I can do this. It's good to dream big. Thank you. Being a columnist is a very important, very public position. It's the face of the magazine. Right. You're not a face. You are just a big girl with a big dream. Nice try, though. She wants a face. I'll give her a face. Bing! I'm hot. Hi, Lory. What's wrong with Belinda? What do you mean? I can't get her on the phone to discuss the book. If she doesn't call me back I'm going to have to fly to London tomorrow. Is that really necessary? This book is a huge deal. It will launch a new division for the company. They're dumping a load of money into promoting it. Book tour, TV, Oprah... Belinda will be everywhere. In person? That's why they call them "personal appearences". I'm gonna try to conference her in. Hold on. No! Wait! What's that? Nothing. Hello! Belinda... Belinda, finally. Hi. It's Lory and Nola. Hello, Lory. Hello Nola. I'm actually just headed... At two in the morning? Yes... in. Just headed in. - Nola? - Yeah! Do you wanna tell her about our promotional plans? Is this about the book? Yes, it is, actually, Belinda. They want you to come out here. Well, that's impossible. I'm in London. So, it'a a good thing we have planes. Yes, isn't it? You know... I don't think I can make it. You don't even know when it is. Oh, when is it? End of October. Definitely can't. Yeah, she's going to... Africa. How do you know? Yes! Africa! Nola and I have been planning this trip for ages. It's for a charity... ...for children. Did I mention this is launching a whole new book division? Goodness! Gracious me! It's two o'clock in the morning here. I've got to go to bed. You two work it out. I'll talk to you later. Bye! Nola, are you still there? Yeah, hey. Do you think I give a rat's ass about her vacation plans? You better make sure she's here by oktober 30th. Or? Or you're fired. You recommended her. I don't care if she's boosted circulation 50%. If she blows this for me I will destroy her... And you. Have a good night! I'm screwed. Could we get that table by the window? That's our favourite spot. Oh, I'm really sorry. That table's reserved. Oh, really! I didn't know that you could reserve tables. Well, you can now. We're under new management. Chester... is it? Well, this is Nola Devlin. She edits Belinda Apple's column. which I'm sure everyone in America has read. It's just that, you know, the first saturday of every month we sit at that table. And this saturday it's reserved. Oh, God, here we go. You wouldn't, by any chance, not be giving us that table. ...because we are on the zaftig side. Would you? I don't know what you mean. Because we're fat. Would you like to order? Yes. We'd like the table by the window. Ladies, if you're not happy with the service here there are a number of other restaurants is Princeton. Zaftig? What are we? Russian peasant women? This is fat discrimination. Sorry! I wish I had a magic wand so I could instantly make us thin. Like Cinderella. Except instead of a ball gown we've got hip bones and a waist. Sorry, my magic wand is in the repair shop. Maybe it's time for a fairy godmother. Don't do it. Don't pull her out. Belinda Apple represents the woman I would be if I could... ...reclaim my power and get out of my own way. We all need to do that. If Belinda is so great at giving advice. ...then how come Nola works for her and she's still such a mess? Hey! Honey, you're a fantastic writer but you're editing someone else's work. You're a wonderful woman but there are no men in your life. And that pizza delivery guy... Not Prince Charming. Come on now, listen. Dear fabulous Belinda... I'm tired of being overweight, bla bla bla... I've dieted my whole life, and now I'm almost 250 pounds. What should I do? Two fifty! Wow! She should stop weighting herself. Dear sexy underneath it all. I will let you in on my deepest, darkest secret. I used to be desperately overweight. Finally I couldn't stand it any more. I had to take control of my life. Was it hard? Yes. How did I do it? By reclaiming my power, getting out of my own way... ...by finding a symbol to remind myself of the person I knew I was inside. ...and by being honest with myself. There's no way that woman was ever fat. Let's say we follow Belindas's example and just do it. No, I can't, you guys. I have way too much on my plate right now. You're just scared of change. I like my life. I have a good job, a husband who loves me. with whom I have sex once a month. Why should I change? But, are you happy? I mean, completely, utterly, every moment happy. I'm not. I mean... Paul loves me but I don't love me. Every spring we take the kids to Paul's parents in Seattle. Kids want to go some place warm but we don't because they know I would never step foot on a beach on a bathing suit. I just wanna be with my family doing normal family things. Oh, come on. Don't cry. Let's do it. Let's do what Belinda said. ...and let's become the women we know we are inside. You really believe in her, don't you? Don't you? Don't you want the person inside of you to finally emerge? That's a complicated question. We've all been on diet. But this time we'll do it together. We're there for one another. Totally honest and no one's off the hook. On one condition. In four months we go back to the Willoughbe Cafe... we get that table by the window and. we shame Chester until he is groveling at our feet. Done. One, we meet September 5th to humilliate Chester. Supporting each other no matter where and no matter what. We can work out together every other day. To start. Workout and diet. No secret stashes. Nola, you know what I'm talking about. And we need our symbols to remind us of who we're gonna be. Mine is red. When I was thin, I wore color. Now I just... well, I wear Eileen Fischer versions of a burka. Nancy wants bold proud red and I... wanna wear bikini on the beach. Nola? I don't know. Can I think about it? Can we call it something else? Well, since Belinda is our fairy godmother how about "the Cinderella pact"? A toast! To change. To friendship. To the Cinderella pact. Belinda would be so proud of it. I hope so. I really do. I can't go in there. "Can't" is not part of our vocabulary, okay? Together we have strength. We give each other confidence. Honey, listen, nobody said this was gonna be easy, right? We can... We should hire a personal trainer. Work out on our own terms. Great idea! What do you think of that? Okay. Nola? Hey, you work out here too? No. No, because we already worked out actually. It was really intense. We had a good one, right? This is my friend Nancy and this is my friend Deb. This is Chip. He gave a ride when Punpkin died. Really! I'm gonna go in. It was nice meeting you, guys. Good to see you. Yeah! Oh, my God. I'm such a looser. He is adorable! Deb, don't get any ideas. He is too adorable for me. Oh, come on. He would be lucky to have you, wouldn't he? Absolutely. Cinderella pact. Well, that was exhausting. I felt the burn. Me too. I think I pulled something back there. Oh, great first day, ladies. Keep it coming. Let's go. Punch. Final stretch, Deb. How you doing? Hangin' in. All right. Push it. Let's go. Keep it tight, keep it tight. Okay, 45 seconds. Come on, Deb. Let's go! Oh, my God! What do you guys eat for breakfast? Oh, Deb, they're waiting! Let's go Deb! Go, Deb! Yeah! That's it. That's my goal. Oh, Nola, it's... Perfect. Cincerella would be proud. Hello! Belinda, it's Charlotte, your agent... who you never call back. Hi, Charlotte. How are you, darling? I'm sorry to call you so late. But we really need. ...to talk about this book. I've been getting calls from a Lory Digrigio at Stanson. Over twenty, to be exact. She really needs to schedule personal appearences. ...and a promotional tour to launch this book. It's part of your contract. They really need some dates. Do you know what? I will check my calendar. ...and I will get back to you with many options, okay? No, no, Belinda. It would be really helpful. ...if we could do this right now while I got you on the phone... This is... Charlotte, I have to call you back. It's a terrible line! Bye! Bad line! Oh! No! Mr. Tuchman, everything's under control. I just burned my dinner again. Hi! What happened? I'm sorry. I set off the smoke alarm again. It happens all the time. Don't worry about a thing. There. What's up? I brought over something I want you to watch. Okay. Gastric bypass. Miracle answer or helpful tool. Once you get past the black stools and the possible death thing. ...it's actually pretty okay. Deb, you can't be serious about having this surgery. Mr. Tuchman, everything's under control. See? It stopped. Don't hang up. It's Chip. Chip? How did you get this number? The company directory. Oh, did I leave something in your track? No, I was actually in your neighbourhood. ...and was wandering if you wanna meet for a drink. Meet for a drink? Meet tonight? Yes! Yes! Could you hold on for a second, please? I wanna talk to you about this surgery. I'm not having it tomorrow. Are you nuts? Stomach surgery DVD or amazingly hunky guy? All right. I got it. Yeah, I think I could probably make it. Where are you? Brown's? In half hour? Tell him you'll be there. Half hour. I'll be there. All right. Bye. Oh, my God. Don't just stand there. Let's get you dressed. Come on. Half an hour! What am I? Wonder Woman? Look at me! But you've got four hands! Come on! Nola... Hi! I kind of feel really overdressed. Excuse me. The lady will have... A white wine spritzer. Thank you. Right over here. Whoa. It is a good thing I changed. I was gonna wear the exact same outfit. - You look nice. - Thank you. So, did you buy a new car yet? I rented one. A Volvo. - Very safe choice. - Yeah. But safe is not all it's cracked up to be. Sometimes you need to step. ...outside your confort zone and take risks to be successful. Okay. Another one-sided conversation I've been having with my father for years. So, what's his definition of success? Someone who is hard-working, responsible and focused. So, you're lazy, reckless and unfocused? That's the old me. Apparently I was avoiding success. It sounds to me like you might've been avoiding failure. Not a bad life strategy, you know. You never try, you never fail. Probably. It's a very astute observation. Yes, well... I'm very insightful and intuitive. It's a gift and a curse. Really? Yeah. What am I thinking right now? You're thinking that you don't wanna tell me. ...all your secrets 'cause it'll make you seem vulnerable. You're right. Never talk about my personal life. All right. I'm gonna do something for you here, okay? I'm gonna tell you one embarasing thing about me. ...so that we can be equally vulnerable. That's only fair. I'm a criminal. I downloaded a movie ilegally off the Internet. ...before it came out on DVD. So, you're in the run from the law. Yes, you're aiding and abetting a criminal. Damn. What? That woman's just walked out of the ladies' room. She's sort of an old girlfriend. Things ended badly. Ended badly like "she went to yoga and never came back" badly or "she boiled your pet rabbit" badly. Go with me on this. Well, hello. I thought you died. Not dead. Just travelling, busy with work and... This is my girlfriend, Nola. Nola? Nola... Devlin. Hi! I'm his girlfriend. You are beyond pathetic. You stopped calling me because you're dating this fat lady? No, I stopped calling you because we broke up six months ago. We're over. We're not over... Until she sings. You know what? Hey! Classy, Ange. Thanks. Nola, wait up! No, no, no! I'm so sorry. Angie is a total psyco. I... Please, can I at least walk you home? No, obviously I can take care of myself. What if I just walk six steps behind you? Then if I get mugged you can step in and save me. I'm an idiot, okay? I got caught off-guard. I had no idea that she'd be there. I never should've used you like that. I'm sorry. You know, you should be sorry. Don't you get it? Girls like me are easy targets for girls like that, you know? You should never have put me in that position. It was humiliating for me. And believe me, my life is humiliating enough. You have every right to be angry. But I would never want to humiliate you. I just wanna know one thing! One thing! Why did you call me tonight? To meet for a drink. No. You could have called a hundred girls just like that. Why did you called ME? I don't know. I... I feel confortable with you. I thought we could be friends. Wow. You have a really interesting way of making new friends, you know? I screwed up. Come on. You've never done something stupid you regret? Never. Do I really need to remind you of the cheeseburger costume debacle? I'm really truly sorry about tonight. No, it's okay. Friends? Sure. Friends. Okay. So, what are your saturdays like? Oh, well. Saturdays I... Uh... I train with Oscar de la Hoya. Why? Well, I wanted the chance to thank you for protecting me against Angie. I'm working in a new project in L.A. For six weeks. June 13th. Pick you up at noon? Sure. Yeah. Noon. - Six weeks? - Six weeks. - Bye - Bye. Who am I kidding? Hot, sexy guy does not want ordinary zaftig me. He wants someone like you. Hey, girls, check this out. These jeans that you see me wearing today? Found them in the back of my closet. Last time I wore them I was 18. I tried them out and they fit! When's your date with chip? We... we're friends. It's not a date. Oh, but it could be. Yeah. He's way out of my league. Why? Because you're smart and you're funny, and... Hello! You gonna help me out here? The lap-band is an inflatable device placed around the stomach. ...creating a small pouch. They don't remove any. ...of the digestive system and it's easy to reverse. This is way better for me than a gastric... Thank you. ...than a gastric bypass. Well, at least they're not going to reroute your intestines. However the procedure is not without risks. One in 2500 patients die? I already have high blood pressure. I'm at risk for diabetes and heart desease. It's been almost a month since we started the pact. And you and Nola have lost weight. I gained. I want... Need this. Of course, you do. And we're your best friends. We're here for you no matter what. Good. Cause I already have it scheduled and you guys better be there. I got your message. What's going on? Richard Stanson called. He wants to launch the book at September. September? What happened to late October? They want the book out before fall. And it gets better. Shine is hosting a launch party for Belinda September 5th. ...and she's not even returning my e-mails. I talked to the editor at "Go Fab" magazine and she never ever worked there. This could be like Jayson Blair and the New Times all over again. You're overreading. I doubt that... What the hell is going on? It's like she doesn't even exist. She exists! You talked to her on the telephone. She is very shy and the book tour... I mean, she hates doing personal appearences. I don't care. Belinda's contract specifically includes promotional tie-ins. If she doesn't understand that then she'll have plenty of time. ...to reread the contract she's violated. ...in a little retreat called the Beacon Correctional Facility. Now find her. Go. I'm thinking of using. Don't do it. Whatever happened that'll be okay, eventually. I'm not so sure about that. What's wrong? Can I ask you a legal hypothetical? All right. Let's say there is a person. A singer. What kind of singer? I don't know. A country singer. I like country. Oh, okay, good. So... Let's say this country singer. ...she's supposed to do a concert but she doesn't show up. I'm assuming that concert people would probably sue her but. what if she doesn't have any money? Does she go to jail? What, like debtor's prison? Yeah. Yeah. If Dickens were still alive. These days they'd figure out something else. She'd do another concert for free. Wow. What's going on? Nothing. I just... I'm doing research for Belinda. Right. No wonder you're eating. What does that suppose to mean? You do all the work, she takes the credit. Not true. Oh, come on. You've always been the one to take the broken cookie. Because you don't think you deserve the good one. It's like you well... ...you stand in the shadows while other people shine. I get it. It's easier to sabotage yourself stuffing your face. ...than it is to just put yourself out there and risk failure. You know, broken or whole a cookie never rejects you. When you're ready you'll stand up. You'll take centre stage. But until then you need to find confort without food. Dear desperate in Duluth, do not give up on yourself. You are worth a million times more than that cheating husband of yours. Your life isn't over because he is gone. It is just beginning because you are free. Free from the lying, the deceit, the pain. You, my friend, can be anything you want now. On my honour I will try to do my best to love my country and God. ...and obbey all the rules set out in the handbook. I always feel better after I pray. That was the "Brownie Promise". It's still sacred and I have the badges to prove it. I think the valium is working. Honey they're going to come get you soon. Thanks for being here, guys. It means a lot. Where else would we be? Paul should be here. You know what? You're changing. You know? And some people are afraid of change. What's Paul think? I'll lose a few pounds and. George Clooney'll want to take me and the kids to Italy to ride Vespas? Seriously no, right? Listen you can't let Paul dictate what you want. You have to stand for yourself. I am so going to do that... ...once my stomach has been reduced to the size of a dill pickle. I can't believe Paul's not here. Honestly, I mean, he's just... He's clueless. So are a lot of men. Ron's a man. He's not. Yeah. But Ron's different. Mm-mm. You're different. You stand up for yourself. Not always. Yeah. Right. Okay. I'm gonna admit something here. I think that... Belinda Apple may be right. I kinda feel like our Cinderella pact is working. You know that I wasn't always like this. I mean. I used to have a waist and... Then I started working at Stanson and there wasn't a day that Ted Fines. wouldn't stare at my chest or... ...accidentaly grab my ass. I was like the ultimate doormat. You never told me that. That's embarrassing. Here I am representing employees against sexual harassment. while I'm taking it myself. So you put on weight. Well, the bigger I got the less Ted hassled me. You know, I've lost 21 pounds and I should be happy. But what if I keep loosing weight and the harassment starts again? It won't. You won't let it. Am I thinner? Definitely! Excellent. I snagged this from the fashion closet upstairs. Very nice. It'll look great with you eyes. It's not for me. It's for you date... with Chip. Again, not a date. A friend thing. Whatever. You can still look nice. Your clothes are swimming on you now ...but you boobs, they still look great. And this tent look is getting old. My boobs look great? Totally. Chip will be very impressed. You know, in a friendly way. Hi! Hey, you ready? I have a surprise. My purse, my keys... What? You look different. Good different or bad different. Definitely... Definitely good different. Okay, let's see this surprise. Yeah, come on. Right over here. Oh, my god! Yeah, well I do a lot of work for the dealersship. ...so they said we could take it for a test drive. You brought this for me to ride? Yeah. I wanted to apologize... Again. You could've bought me a houseplant. Come on. Let's take this baby for a ride. I can't. Why not? She's so beautiful... I... I can't drive this car. Well, there is some element of risk in living your dreams. Hold on. You're no longer Volvo-safe. You are sports car fearless. Thank you. Yes! There's something just so wrong about ketchup on a hot dog. You sure you don't want anything? No, I'm good. It's... I'm kind of doing this Cinderella pact with my friends. We're trying to eat healthy, lose a little weight. Well, you look great. Oh, thank you. Okay. That makes it official. This is the most fun I've ever had. without trans-fats being involved. Fast cars, compliments, what could be better? Yeah, you can't beat fast cars for fun. ...and I've definitely had my fill in my danger-seeking irresponsible youth. Oh! What? No, nothing. All right. It's just... You have a relationship. with a Porsche dealership, right? You've had a lot of fast cars. And not that it's not a wonderful profession but. I didn't realize you could make so much money fixing people's computers. My... Uh... Family has money, not me... You know, and I've been slacking for a few years but I'm trying to change. Oh, yeah. How's that working out for you? Well, you know, one step forward, two steps back. Croquet! You play? Oh, no, not anymore. That was part of my danger-seeking irresponsible youth. I don't just play. I uh... I dominate. Really? Mm-mm. Mm. Well, I guess we're uh... going to have to see about that. It's the last point in the match and Nola appears to be crumbling under the pressure. Stop stalling! Losing to a girl would be humiliating for the cool guy. She should remember that he found her her back-up fantasy car. True. He should know ...that if she let's him win it's only cause she took pity on him. What is that? What? No! Yes! He wins! - No! - Yes! I did! - You cheated! - No, I did not. - He cheated! - No. - You guys saw that! - I did not. Cheat! - Thank you, guys. - Thanks, guys. - That was fun. - Yeah. - So... - So... What's it like working for Belinda Apple? Uh... Exciting, frustrating. Sometimes I feel like she's taken over my life. Mmm, sounds demanding. More like all-consuming. Do you ever feel like you're uh... Living in Belinda's shadow? You know, like no one would ever take you seriously. ...if she weren't the name ahead of yours. Yeah, all the time. How'd you know? Well, you have Belinda. I have my father. We're both treading water at the same end of the pool. Except I don't know how to swim. Yeah, I found people will generally tell who they are. ...the first three minutes you know them. You just have to listen. Well, I don't think Angie told me she was a complete nutjob when we first met. Sometimes you have to close you eyes and listen between the lines. Um, here. Oh, thank you. Thanks. So, thank you for a wonderful, wonderful day. No, thank you. Hey, so, listen. I'm going out of town againg for work. ...but maybe when I get back we can get together. Dinner? Oh, god. No need. You know, you're totally forgiven. ...for Angie's behaviour. You're off the hook. Oh, this next date will have nothing to do with Angie. Date? August 31st? Oh, wow. You really like to plan in advance, don't you? What are you doing Thanksgiving two years from now? All right. Well... Hey, you bowl? No. Good. We'll go bowling. That way I can reclaim my manhood. You in? Sure. All right. Now Corporate has decided they want elinda to write the intro to the book. Call her in Botswana or wherever the hell she is. I need it next week. I don't think Belinda wants to be part of the book's publication. Excuse me? No, it's just she's only been writing for the magazine seven months. Maybe she thinks it's too early. The publishing world is in serious trouble. Magazines are folding every day. Shine was on line-support before Belinda started her column. Ad-revs are up and Mr. Stanson likes her. If she doesn't show up to support the book at the launch party he will be furious. He could kill the magazine. You got it? Go. Hi. You're obviously the food lady. Can I leave these with you? Why am I obviously the food lady? Is it because I'm not size two? Hm? All right, let me tell you something, Sherlock. Real women, they don't look like the women. ...you see on TV or magazine covers, okay? So ho ahead. You tell me. Why must I obviously be the food lady? Because your... Uh... your desk says you are. Right. Sorry. All right. I'm going to head home a little early tonight, everybody. I kind of... Yeah, 'cause, you know, the last ride to Crazytown leaves, and I got shotgun. Oh! Oh, my god! What? The size 18 is too big! Oh! Okay, wait. Here, I'm going to... ...bring you some other sizes. Maybe these will fit. Thanks. Okay. Why can't Paul be excited about this? The more weight I lose, the angrier he gets. I begged him to go to counselling, but he refused. That's no right, Deb. What do you think Belinda would tell me to do? Well, I think she'd say that you deserve to be loved unconditionaly... ...and if you're not you should consider your options. I know, right? It's a 14. You know the last time I was a size 14? High school. Oh, my god. Deb, you're so thin. Oh, I'm not that thin. Oh, I've lost 37 pounds. 37 pounds? Oh, my god. I'm just... I'm so proud of you. Oh, I couldn't have done it without you and Nancy and Belinda. The Cinderella Pact rocks. Now we need to find you something fantastic to wear on your date. No, no, no. I'm good. I've got something in the back of my closet. I can pull it out... Okay, your brain needs to catch up with your body. Yeah, you need some clothes that actually fit you. All right. We are not back-of-closet girls anymore. Deb, I... You need a new dress. Good. Here, try. Go. You know what? Why... Eh, eh, eh. Do it for me. Go. I don't need... I don't want to hear it, I want to see it. Dear stuck in a rut. A date is nothing to freak out over. Wear something that says "I am confident and prepared for anything" Makeup should enhance, not camouflage your own unique qualities. And most importantly, be yourself. You don't want to be with anyone who doesn't see the real you. - Hey. - Hi. Hi. Come on in. Hey, you look great. I mean, you know, not that, you know... ...you didn't look great before, but you were... More... ...more... No, I... There's not really a graceful way out of this, is there? This is uncharted territory. Come on. Um, can I... ...offer you something to drink? I have, uh, diet root beer, diet cola, diet ice tea, wine... - I'll take the wine. - Okay, great. But only if it is diet. Uh, make... Make yourself at home. So, uh, wow... How long since I've seen you, anyway? So, that was either totally inappropriate and awkward, or... Or it was really spontaneous and and nice. I mean, it was nice for me. - It was nice, wasn't it? - Very. - And not at all awkward. - No. Not at all. - Not like this conversation. - Right. - Drink? - Oh, yeah. I'd love one. Great. I can't seem to... - May I? - Yes. Please. - Can you excuse me... - Oh, yeah. Okay. I'll be right back. Nola Devlin, girl gone wild. Okay, don't freak out. Nance, what's wrong? I'm working and my computer crashed. Oh, well, nancy, I know that's a real bummer, and I'm sorry, but I gotta... Yeah, but they sent Chip over to fix it. He's standing in front of me right now... ...and believe me, he is so not the hot guy from the gym. No, Chip is standing in my living room right now. He just kissed me. Whoever kissed you isn't Chip, the computer guy. Well, then, who the hell is standing in my living room? Who are you? I know you're not Chip. Oh, god. Listen... No, no, no. Are you even in tech support? No. Oh, god, please tell me you're not a serial killer. I'm not a serial killer. Look, you can put down the candlestick. Who are you? Alex Stanson. As in Stanson Publishing "Alex Stanson"? That would be my father, Alex senior. So... Why did you get me think you were computer Chip? That day that you got in my truck thinking I was Chip... I... I had just come from a meeting with my father. My relationship with him is... Strained at best. And you totally turned that day around for me. You were unguarded, gutsy, funny, and you were interested in me. I didn't want to ruin it by telling you who I was. I tell people who I am. ...and they just start acting differently. Plus, I'm kind of in this new phase of my life. Your "fat girl" phase? My "trying to be a better person" phase. I have one last shot to prove my worth in the family business. You see, I quit five years ago, and, uh, now that I've come back... ...my father put me in charge of a new book division. My idea. Our first book... Is a collection of Belinda Apple's columns. I am so... Achingly aware of that, and this has just become a nightmare. You knew I edited her columns. Yeah. Please go. Look, nola... You used me. That... That is not true. I mean, yes, okay, in the beginning, I, yeah, maybe I saw an opportunity. ...to learn more about Belinda, but then that... That changed... ...and I wanted to learn more about you. Belinda works for you. I work for you. Your family... This doesn't work. Okay? It doesn't work. You have... Please don't say anything else. Just... Just go. Alex Stanson Jr., the only heir to the Stanson empire... which includes magazines, newspapers, extensive real estate holdings... ...has turned being a trust fund playboy into an art. He goes through women like other men go through socks. Devlin? Yeah. Do you know what this is? Belinda Apple's contract for her book. Do you know what should be right there? Her signature. The book launch party is in less than a week. Legal is going crazy. I sent someone from our london office to the address Belinda gave us... ...but all she found was a post office box with some fan mail addressed to Belinda. I need proof of life. What, like Belinda's severed ear wrapped in today's newspaper? No. Like a personal appearance on September 5th. If she doesn't show, that will be my proof. I will go talk to Legal after lunch, okay? Hey, nancy, are we still meeting at the track after work? I... I really need to talk. Nance! Oh! Thank god! I get that you didn't want to talk about it last night... ...and I'm glad that you're still alive, but. who the hell was the guy in your apartment? All right, it turns out that the most perfect guy I've ever met. ...is the guy publishing Belinda Apple's new book. Alex Stanson junior. Your "chip" is Alex Stanson? No way. Yes. Yes, yes. Yes way. Wow. Oh, god. There's more. I really liked him, a lot. And the awful part is. I think he really liked me. Well, why are you talking about this in the past-tense? Because there can be no future-tense. There can't be any... Tense. Listen, I... I need... I need to tell you something, okay? What? I'm Belinda Apple. What? That's impossible. You know, nine months ago, Lori wanted an advice columnist... ...and she wouldn't give me a shot because I didn't look the part? All right, well, I came up with a plan, and... I created "Belinda Apple". That's not a plan, that's insanity. Yeah. Who's the woman on the billboards? Me, with a little Photoshop. Does anyone else know about this? No! It wasn't supposed to go this far. I mean, she wasn't supposed to become famous. I just... I was going to write as Belinda for a little while to prove that I ...could do it, and then I was going to go into Lori's office and. ...tell her that she shouldn't judge people on their jean size... ...she should be judging them on their qualifications. Yeah, I really wish that you had. I mean... You deserve that job, fat or thin. You just... you need to believe that you deserve it. Yeah. Nancy, listen... I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner. Look, putting aside the fact that one of my best friends couldn't... wouldn't tell me about something this important... ...putting thataside, do you have any idea what kind of. ...a professional crap-storm you've just rained down on me? I'm so sorry. Look, if I don't say something, and this comes out... I could be fired for knowing about it and doing nothing. So what are you going to do? Nothing. I know you. I love you. And you will do the right thing. Yeah. You know, one good thing has come out of all of this. What? The Cinderella pact. You look amazing. Yeah, I've lost another five pounds. Oh, god. Nancy... ...how am I going to get out of this in one piece? Lori's coming apart at the seams. I mean, she's got this contract she wants Belinda to sign. You know? She's crazy! And I can't keep stalling her for very much longer. Come on. we're going to figure this out. It's Deb. - Where? - Shh. Hey, Deb. Hey. Deb, where are you? If anything, scotch makes you happy. Hey, guys! This is josh. Josh, these ar the friends I was telling you about. Do you want a drink? No. No, I think we're good. I thought you weren't supposed to drink after your surgery? Who're you, her mother? No, josh. Her best friend. Come on. Do you mind telling us what you think you're doing? I was just having some fun. Is that a crime? Okay, "fun" is a pedicure. "Fun" is... is a great day at the beach. A fast car is "fun"... ...not knocking back manhattans with some random businessman. You're married! I know. I've been settling my whole life. I don't want to settle anymore. You know, it's terrifying, but for the first time ever... I feel like I have choices. And ain't that why I went through the surgery? Do you know what I did today? I went to an assembly at my son's school. I was so happy being there... ...just a mom sitting in the audience, not some fat woman everyone was staring at. Paul never showed. Do you know why I married him? Because I was scared no one else would have me. You know what's worse? He knew that! I mean, he doesn't love me, he just wants to control me. Are you going to leave him? I don't know. What would Belinda say? Yeah. what would Belinda say? I think she'd tell you that you deserve better than trolling in bars for attention from strange men. You are better. And you know what? You should create the life you deserve. That's exactly what she'd say. Yeah, no joke. Tell her. What? She is Belinda. That's impossible. You're Belinda? I'm Belinda. But how? It's really complicated. I mean... well, I started by submitting my columns electronically to Lori. Do you mean all the advice I got from Belinda... ...the advice that I changed my life for, the Cinderella pact, that was all a lie? No. No! I-I believed every word. It just... it seemed like you would listen to it more. when it came from someone like Belinda. I just want what's best for you. And to regain my power and be the person I am inside. Yes! Yes! Yes! That was part of the pact, and we were supposed to be honest. We would always be honest with one another... ...and you were lying from the start. You never believed any of this could be real. That's not true. I hoped it would be. I did. Losing weight has given me the confidence to stand up. ...for myself and be honest about my feelings. You have no idea how much you hurt me. Well, I don't want to deal with this right now. I can't. I'll go. Nola, hi. Sorry about leaving a message. Again. Since I haven't heard from you... ...you are either, "a" on a road trip with Otis and too busy to check your messages... ...or "b" in the finals of an international croquet tournament... ...and unaware you have messages, or... "c" avoiding me and hoping I stop calling. I vote for "a" or "b", because "c" makes me sad. Yes, hello, is charlotte there? This is her client, Belinda Apple. Could you let her know that I need her to call me as soon as possible, please? Thank you. Charlotte? Yes? I'm Nola Devlin, Belinda Apple's editor. Where is she? Actually, you're looking right at her. I'm Belinda Apple. Of course you are, darling. There's a little bit of "Belinda" in all of us. No, charlotte. I'm your client. I'm Belinda Apple. But you're so not-british, or stylish. No... No offense. I thought you'd be younger, but then... ...maturity is just experience wrapped in wrinkles, isn't it? Oh, my god. You really are Belinda. Correction... I've been pretending to be her, and I've hurt the people I love the most. My whole life is a monumental trainwreck. I'm probably going to get fired, go to jail... ...and never work as a journalist again, and I was just wondering if you could help me. Oh, lord, let's get you a drink. Wow, you have got yourself into quite the quandary. I know, and I can't fake it anymore. I can't. You can fake a lot of things, but you cannot fake talent, whether you call yourself Belinda or Nina... Nola. Whatever. You are a writer. Believe in that. Women love your column. I have the fan mail to prove it. Fan mail is not going to keep me out of jail. Okay, then. Okay, then. You do have some options. One: do nothing. Let the chips fall where they may. Two: write a letter of resignation, quit before the whole thing falls apart. But your legal problems won't go away. Or three: show up, tell the truth, and watch the whole thing implode in person. It's perfect. Well, not the imploding part, of course, but. why shouldn't you go to that party? Um, here's a clue: I'm not Belinda Apple. Not yet. But with a litte work... I think you could bring her to life. You're crazy. Yeah, "crazy" is sometimes the basis of genius. Go as Belinda. You keep your secret, I keep my commission. It's a win-win situation. Nobody is ever going to believe that I'm Belinda Apple. Think about it. Nola? Hmm? Chip! Alex... whoever you are. What are you doing here? Um, I was supposed to meet Belinda Apple's literary agent. ...but I just got a message saying she had to cancel. Have you eaten dinner? Haven't eaten lunch and... This is dinner. Mm! Wow. It looks like your Cinderella diet's a little extreme. "Cinderella pact" Right. And you have no idea how extreme. It kinda messes with your head, you know? I don't, but I know you need some food, real food... ...and since it looks like you've lost even more weight... I think you could afford to eat something. Thank you. Sorry I lied. Okay, listen. You lie, I lie, everybody lies. We all tell little lies, and big lies, and middle-of-the-road lies. We're not to be trusted. Cheaters never prosper. Or is it liars? Gosh, I can never remember. Go home... Alex Stanson. I don't want to go home. You're a nice guy. You're a really, really nice guy. You're too nice for me. That's not true. You don't know the real Nola Devlin, the inner-workings, the heart and soul. Here's what I do know. Nola Devlin is funny, smart, pretty. See? Too nice. I like who I am with you. I'm not who you think I am. I mean, I am, I am, but I'm not. Don't we all feel that way? Oh, listen, I'm serious. There is no... Very nice. Did I just say that out loud? No. Oh, sorry. Wait. I - I'm not like other girls you've been with, so I just wanted you to... Thank god. No, it's just that... See. My body is... Beautiful. You have a beautiful body. Let's never leave here, ever. Oh, god. Let me guess. Taiwan for six weeks. No. Actually L.A. For a shareholder's meeting, and then back here friday for the book launch. Alex, about the book launch... What if Belinda doesn't show? I mean, she can be really unreliable. Well, if she doesn't show she'll be letting down a lot of people. I'm sure it would be disappointing for you... ...since you're as much a part of the book as Belinda is. - Look, Alex, I... - Nola... I think I'm falling in love with you. Chip? A-Alex? - Hey. - Hi. Good morning. I have to catch my flight. Go back to sleep. I'll see you at the book launch. All right. Get some rest. Okay. Bye. Wait. There is no Belinda Apple, and I'm a big fat liar. Hey, Nola! whatcha doing? Hey, joy, have you seen Lori? She's getting her dress fitted for the party. Oh, but, hey, if you see her... ...can you tell her that Belinda's agent sent over a ton of fan mail from her office last night? Fan mail? Well, it is in the mailroom. Thanks, joy. Dear Belinda, you saved my life! I was 216... Dear Belinda, thank you, thank you, thank you. Belinda, you are my guardian angel. You inspired me to follow my dreams. Dear Miss Apple, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here writing this letter. Hey, Nance. Hey. You ready for tomorrow? What's tomorrow? Oh, it's end-game. The day we go back to the Willoughby cafe and witness some serious grovelling? Right. Right. God. My dress is gone. Your goal dress? Have you heard from Deb? No. Alex Stanson said he loves me. I don't know what to do. I have this invitation here for Nola to Belinda Apple's book launch. This is a letter from a woman in Duluth. ...telling Belinda that she saved her life. Alex wants me, Nola, to go to the book launch with him. This woman needs Belinda to show up. I can't be both people at the same time. Rewind. He said he loves you? Yeah! Wow. And it's killing me. I just... Should have listened! You were right. You know, why did I make all this stuff up? I should have just believed in myself enough to tell Lori the truth from the beginning, and... That is disgusting. Well, a little simplistic, maybe, but... For years, I have been hiding myself under a homemade fat suit. ...so you wouldn't treat me like a sex object... ...and then I started shrinking my body and building my self-esteem. I even started to think "maybe Ted's not so bad". Maybe I was just imagining things. ...but there is no way that I imagined your hand on her ass. ...a kid so fresh out of law school that she still has the bar tapes memorized. You're fired. I don't think so. When I put together the sexual harassment suit I have planned... ...you'll be the one holding the pink slip. - Did that feel as good as it looked? - Oh, so much better. This doesn't feel right without Deb. She's... She'll come around. She's just... She's got a lot going on right now. Ladies. Table for two? Remember us? Oh, no. I'm so sorry. We were here four months ago. You wouldn't seat us at the table by the window. I'm sorry. I don't remember. We were a little bit... Larger then. Yeah, we were fat. You said it was reserved. You were paranoid about people walking by... ...thinking this is restaurant where fat, pathetic women eat. So, you got all that from me telling you that that table was reserved, and I'm the one who's paranoid? We'll take the table by the window. I'm sorry. It's occupied. You mean we've been holding a grudge for four months for nothing? No, but don't we look fabulous? I mean, the Cinderella pact worked. Yeah? Then why are you still wearing black? Where's your red? Deb, Deb, Deb. It's about discovering the women we are inside. Let me tell ya, Ron is loving the woman I am on the inside. Well, girls, I'm afraid my bikini dream is over. - It was a tad too ambitious for me. - No! No, but I'm looking forward to dealing with reality in a tankini. You guys, I-I'm so happy that the Cinderella pact worked for both of you... ...but I don't think it worked for me. See... I have no idea who I am or what I'm supposed to do here. You know, like, the book launch is... is tomorrow night, and if I don't go... I'm going to betray all of those women who poured their hearts out to me... ...and I don't want to hurt them. ...the way you were hurt when you found out Belinda Apple didn't exist. And Alex? I'm in love with him, and he's gonna hate me. I should have told him! I should be telling him right now, and I don't know how to. Belinda has to go to that party. Belinda doesn't exist. It's your wisdom, your wit, your insight. You're the one everyone's listening to. You're the one who gave me the courage to start a new life. As hard as it is, I have to leave Paul,... it's okay. It's good, even! And do you think that I could have stood up to Ted without you or Belinda? She's been there all along. You've just been looking on the outside when you should've been looking in. So, no more broken cookies. No more standing in the shadows. It's time you took centre stage. Okay? Okay. Nola? Before we get started... It wasn't gone! We bought it for you a couple of days ago. Somehow we knew that you'd need it. And these. Oh, m...! And this. Your fantasy car. You are Cinderella! Here it is. Oh, my goodness. I'm so nervous, you guys. Let's cover you up a little. Oh, that's perfect. Beautiful. - Ready? - Yeah, I'm ready. Okay. - Here we go. Up. Belinda! Belinda! Belinda? She's really looking forward to meeting you. Is she ready? I'd really like to see her. I will... I will do that. Thank you. - Alex, right? Hi! I'm Deb. - Hi. Yeah. The... - Friend of Nola's. Gym. - Right, the gym. ...ladies and gentlemen, tonight we are here to introduce to you. Stanson publishing's new book "Apple gets to the core" ...a compilation of columns by Shine magazine's renowned advice columnist, Belinda Apple. It is now my great honour to introduce to you Belinda Apple! ...it's so nice to finally meet... ...oh, my god! Oh, thank you all for the very warm welcome. I'm so happy I'm... I'm so happy that Stanson books is publishing my book. My book... It is my book. I can't do this. I thought I could but I... I can't. A year ago. I was an overweight copy editor. who couldn't get a break. There were people who told me that I was just a big girl with a big dream... ...and, um... Somehow, I let myself believe that. So I created Belinda Apple, someone I thought I could never be. Pretty, beautiful, confident, thin... Someone with all the answers. I used Belinda to protect myself from rejection and failure. I'm so sorry that I lied. ...to all of the women who have been o honest with me, with Belinda. I have to be honest with you. There is no Belinda Apple, there's just me, Nola Devlin. But here's the thing... inside, me and Belinda, we're the same person. It just took me till tonight to figure it out. To all the beautiful women that brought me here tonight... ...just know that you're your own fairy godmothers, so... ...keep dreaming your dreams and creating your magic. ...and writing your own happy endings. That's all. Great party! Oh, they loved you! They love Nola Devlin as much as they love Belinda Apple! Yeah! Have you guys seen Alex? Sorry, honey. You know, I thought for sure he was going to forgive you. Oh, maybe he'll change his mind. Maybe. All right, I... I think I'm going to head home. Oh. You guys, have fun. Well, you know what happens to Cinderella at midnight. No! W- wait! Wait, wait! Please! Wait! Wait! Wait, stop, sir! Please, stop! Just perfect. You lose something? Yeah. Yeah. My... Shoe. May I? Midnight. Isn't that some kind of defining moment for Cinderella? Well, it's the moment where she turns back into her true self and... ...hopes that Prince Charming will see through the disguise and forgive her and... But just... One last question for Belinda. Yeah? Well, there's this girl... Ah, well, see? There's always a girl. What's the problem? A few days ago, I poured my heart out to her. ...and told her I thought I was falling in love with her. Have you changed your mind? No. I told her how I feel. But she hasn't told me how she feels. Well, that's not a problem. ...cause I happen to know she loves you right back. Whoo-hoo! |
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