1
that consumed your thoughts?
Made everything and everyone
else just disappear?
How can you settle for
anything less after that?
I don't understand
what you're saying.
What the hell is
the matter with you?
Hey!
You gotta hold still,
I'm trying to help you.
Get away!
Look, I did not know she was
gonna bet there all right.
No.
I swear to God.
Oh, Vincent, did you really
write that scene for me?
You're just fucking
exaggerating now!
She cannot even act.
Why are you doing this?
You think you're
so talented, eh?
That's what you think.
All your movies are shit, okay?
No one wants to work with
you except that stupid slut.
Come here.
See what you get?
You're fucking
crazy, you know that?
Yeah and you love it!
Fucking crazy.
Annalisa.
Annalisa.
Annalisa?
Dear
Vincent, I'm sorry,
but I cannot live
like this anymore.
We are killing each other and
the beautiful love we share.
We need some time apart.
I'm flying back home to
stay with my Mom for now.
I'll call you when I arrive.
I'm sorry, but I didn't
know what else to do.
Love, Annalisa.
I wanted to make
a film about love.
I wanted to make a film about...
My vision for this film.
Goddammit.
I wanted to explore
a time in my life.
I wanted to make
a film about love.
I wanted to make a film about...
I wanted to make a
film about the fucking
garbage truck going away.
That's what I wanted
to make a film about.
What are you trying to do?
I wanted to make a film that...
Okay.
I wanted to make a film.
What did I want?
I wanted to know if it was real.
I wanted to know
if you were real.
Oh God.
Do not tell me I am still
in love with this woman, I--
Nico.
Are you ready?
Uh, not really.
You wear the suit
I bought you, right?
No.
Oh, come on, man.
This is the biggest
cinema in Malta!
Isn't it the only
cinema in Malta?
Yes, but it's big.
Oh, and we have
that meeting with
those producers
later on as well.
Yeah, I know.
Hey, my
friend, be focused.
This is the most important
day of your career, eh?
Of our careers.
Oh, Vincenzo!
Look, I just don't know if I
can do this Q&A thing, man.
Heh?
Of course you can.
Well, I mean, you have to.
Just imagine that no
one else is in the room.
Yeah, that's gotta work.
You make the joke?
Yes, Nico, that was a joke.
Not funny.
Look, I.
Jesus Christ!
Don't you ever knock?
What for?
I've got the key.
Nico, I gotta go.
Wear the suit!
Look, I'm a little
busy here, Joe.
Yeah, you know what,
just help yourself.
Why you drink that wine?
Why?
Because I like it.
I know plenty of
better wines than that.
Well, it's what I used
to drink when I was here.
How can you taste the future
if you keep drinking the past?
You have a date?
A date?
No, no, definitely not a date.
Well, it should be, you
bloody never leave it here.
Don't worry, I know some
girls for you, mate.
Oh, I'm sure you do.
Hey, some owe me favours.
All right?
I can ask if they're
transferable.
You know what, I'm good.
Thank you though.
Ha, that's what you think!
Look, is there something
I can help you with?
Now that you mention it,
there is a little something.
Look, no, serious.
All right, my cousin
is getting married.
Again, all right.
The first one didn't work out.
She wasn't nice to him.
She couldn't even bloody cook.
One time I went over for lunch,
it was a fucking disaster.
I had to call the
ambulance, fire brigade,
police department.
It was a bloody
kershuffle, it was madness.
Burnt the house
down with the food.
Burnt it, gone.
Anyway, I was thinking because
I think from time to time.
I like to think in my life.
Sometimes a man has to take
time and just think, okay?
So this is what I was
thinking because I know you.
And you make the video, okay.
That, and they don't have
much money now because--
Okay, look, the thing is, so,
Joe, I don't shoot weddings.
I'm really sorry.
You're gonna have
to find someone else
for that one though,
pal, all right?
You have the camera?
Yes, Joe, I have a camera.
Okay.
Take it, point it,
press the button.
Even a bloody donkey can do it.
I'm trying to make
you a favour, mate.
Get your name out there
in Malta, all right?
If I say yes right
now will you leave?
But for free you shoot it.
I would love to
shoot it for free.
Ah, that's it, mate.
Okay.
That's a deal.
That's it, good stuff.
That's the lock
in contract, mate.
All right.
- Well, talk to you later.
- That's it.
Signed, sealed, and delivered!
Done, talk to you later, buddy.
Before I forget,
there's one more thing.
The rent.
What about the rent?
I already paid you in full.
I know you paid it.
Now I need some more.
Okay.
Okay.
- Okay.
- Okay.
I'll be back.
I'll be back, I'll
collect it soon.
Okay?
Looking forward to
seeing you again.
Okay, I'll pop in again, eh?
'Cause I like to pop in.
I don't like to
make appointments.
That's what you do.
I don't make appointments!
- Live in the moment, buddy.
- Everything's a bloody
appointment these days.
Bloody mate, just come
over, talk like a human.
Okay, bye.
Vincent.
Vincent!
You started smoking again.
What are you doing here?
European premiere, right?
I couldn't miss this.
What, did you walk out?
I just needed a minute.
Nervous?
I can't believe you're here.
I'm here.
Eh, Vincenzo!
Who's that?
I have to go.
Can we grab a coffee
or something after?
There's gonna be a Q&A.
I don't really think
I'm gonna have time.
Please.
Just be cool, man.
Cool.
I loved it.
I've only got like half an hour.
We can go to our old bar.
You lost weight.
Stress.
You haven't changed.
Starting to get older,
wrinkles and everything.
You look good.
Wow, your first movie.
I knew you would do it.
Yeah, well.
We'll see what the
audience has to say
after the Q&A, right?
Who cares what they say?
You made your first movie.
I'm very proud of you.
Proud.
Of course.
How was the premiere
in New York?
It was good.
Mostly positive reviews.
A few negatives ones.
Try not to pay as much
attention to those.
Any publicity's good publicity.
I guess so.
Story looked familiar.
Yeah, well, write what you know.
Isn't that what they taught us?
And you know this story?
This is, uh.
Crazy, I know.
What's it
been, like six years?
Five.
Five years, uh huh.
Is that you, is that really you?
I have so many questions.
I don't even know if I
want the answers anymore.
I do.
Tell me everything.
Are you married?
Kids?
Still in New York?
How is your Dad?
All right, just one at a time.
Are you married?
No.
Kids?
No, how about you?
Sorry, excuse me.
Excuse me.
So anyone working
here today or what?
We are in Europe.
That's true, this would
not happen in the States.
Relax, it's not
such a bad thing.
I miss your Dad, you know.
He's so funny, I
really love him.
Yeah.
What's wrong?
He died.
What?
Oh my God.
How?
When?
It was like over a year ago now.
And you didn't tell me?
What happened?
It was pancreatic cancer.
They found it by
accident, actually.
It was...
Not good.
I'm sorry.
The doctors, couldn't
they do anything?
It was too aggressive.
They caught it too late.
You know, he hated going to
doctors and stuff like that.
I'm so sorry.
Oh my God.
I think about him often.
Yeah.
I really do.
He was such a lovely man.
I mean, he was a crazy
son of a bitch though.
You know that.
Vincent.
It's true like...
Why is it that when
somebody dies everybody
makes them out to
be saints, you know?
It's bullshit.
Just because someone's
dead we can't
remember them for who they
really were, good and bad?
He was fucking crazy.
You know, he had the
fuse of a matchstick.
He also had a heart of gold.
I love him, I mean,
he was my Dad.
There was a lot of
tough love there,
but he would do anything for
the people that he cared about.
That's true.
He definitely marched to
the beat of his own drum.
Didn't care what anybody
else thought about him.
Everyone has to
go, he used to say.
Don't act like you won't.
Good advice.
Yeah.
Yeah, didn't really sink
in until he died though.
I think it actually gave me
the strength to make a movie.
Really?
Yeah, I was terrified for
a long time, you know.
What if people
don't like my work?
What if I'm not as good
as I thought I was?
What if my ambition
far exceeds my talent?
Just all that stuff.
I think it takes
real loss to realise
that you don't have
anything to lose, you know?
You miss him.
Yeah.
So anyway.
What are you doing with
yourself these days?
I'm in fashion.
Big surprise.
Hey!
I'm just saying.
We couldn't go passed a
single shop in New York
without you dragging
me in there.
You know, there was one time
I edited an entire short film
on my laptop while I
was waiting for you.
Bullshit.
It's true.
It was the mise-en-scene,
the one-shot film.
We used to watch them in class.
It was like the openings of
Orson Welles, Touch of Evil.
P.T. Anderson, Boogie Nights.
You remember all that?
If it was one-shot then
what was there to edit?
The titles and stuff, I mean.
I don't know, I'm just saying.
You spent a lot
of times in shops.
Come on.
Carrying all that
equipment, camera lights.
And all the editing, too crazy.
I like fashion.
It's easy for me.
That's 'cause you're
doing what you love.
You know, if you're
doing what you love,
there's no other
way to live, right?
So you still love filmmaking?
Mm.
I don't know.
I'll tell you after the Q&A.
Come on, stop stressing.
I'm just saying, film
school was never for you.
Every time I looked at
you, you were drawing shoes
or something like that.
Don't tell me your making shoes?
Designing.
Designing shoes.
For like the biggest
Italian labels.
Oh, no shit?
I'm serious!
Wow.
All that time waiting
around actually
amounted to something, huh?
Hm, very funny.
I might not be telling
stories like you,
but when I see women wearing
shoes that I designed,
and they look strong,
confident, and sexy,
it makes me happy.
Happy is good.
Yeah, happy is good.
You never told me if
you had a man or not.
It's complicated.
I don't really wanna
talk about it right now.
I'm sorry, Vincent.
For what?
You know, for everything.
That's a long time ago,
just forget about it.
I just...
I didn't know.
Yep.
Yeah, look, I'm just
around the corner.
Okay.
I gotta go.
We just sat down.
We didn't even have a drink.
I came all this way.
For what?
I didn't ask you to come here.
I still don't really know
what you're doing here.
Look, um, it was nice
seeing you and everything.
I'm glad you're
doing well, I just...
Good luck, all right?
I gotta go.
Vincent!
Vincent!
What do you want?
I just want to talk.
Now you wanna talk?
I told you I was sorry.
'Cause that makes
everything all better.
Vincent.
Look, it has been five years.
It's been five fucking years.
I tried getting in touch
with you a bunch of times,
but you never replied.
You tried getting
in touch with me
when things were on the
rocks with your boyfriend.
You don't know what
you're talking about.
You know what, I
don't care anymore.
If you didn't care, we wouldn't
be having this conversation.
Well, we're not having the
fucking conversation, Annalisa.
Love for Paradise.
For his debut movie.
Please,
big round of applause.
My life is a wrecking ball
My life cannot stand tall
My life is a fighting game
For the death
My life makes no sense
My life is second best
He's gone in silence
For a dance
With you, it all made sense
With you, there
was nothing else
I will rush to your defence
for everything that you do
With you, I aim to please
But you left me on my knees
Now this love,
it's home alone
Wanting to be left alone
With you, it all made sense
With you, there
was nothing else
I will rush to your defence
For everything
that you do wrong
With you, I aim to please
But you left me on my knees
Now this love,
it's home alone
Wanting to be left alone
Have you calmed down yet?
How did it go?
How'd you know I'd be here?
I micro-chipped you
when we were dating.
Wouldn't surprise me.
Can I have one?
Yeah.
What are you listening to?
It's my buddy back in New York.
We worked on a few
songs together.
You make music now too?
Just the lyrics,
he does the music.
Crazy Suzie followed
me all the way home
She said
Wow, he's good.
I never quite understood
what she was aiming at
'Cause I was always
better off alone
She said, if you
still feel lonely
Why?
I was young.
Confused.
We could've talked about it.
I had to get away.
Away from what, me?
From everything.
You left me.
You left us.
I know.
Do you know how it made me feel
when I came back and
you weren't there?
You fucked it all up.
Just me?
Our relationship
didn't have problems?
You wouldn't even do
anything with me anymore.
Always working on your movies.
Shooting, editing.
Watching movies for research.
Everything was research.
I couldn't even say a word when
we watched a movie together.
You loved your movies
more than you loved me.
Is that what you think?
We had problems, okay?
Every relationship has problems.
You don't just leave,
you work 'em out.
Maybe I couldn't
work them out then.
Maybe you just didn't want to.
I'm here now.
Yeah.
Yeah, now you're here,
five years later.
There would be times
that I'd be walking
through the park
in East Village.
Thompson Square Park.
Tompkins.
That's what I said.
No, it's Tompkins, not Thompson.
Thompson, Tompkins,
what's the difference?
It's a different name.
Oh God.
Some things don't change, eh?
You know I didn't grow up
speaking English like you.
Okay.
Sometimes I get it mixed up.
What's the problem?
I don't have a problem.
One letter, Thompson, Tompkins.
It's a completely
different name.
Okay, you try and
speak Spanish, eh?
Then we see.
I correct you every
fucking second!
And Annalisa's back.
Thompson, Tompkins!
Can I just finish
what I was saying?
No!
Go.
Look.
There was times that I'd be
walking back from the park.
And I would just like freeze.
You know, I literally
couldn't move.
I would just see memories
of us everywhere.
And it paralysed me.
There was this one time I
was coming home from a shoot
carrying all my
equipment and everything
and this guy comes up to me
and I think he's gonna help me,
but then he runs
off with my tripod.
The tripod I bought for you.
I'm trying to tell you how it
made me feel when
you abandoned me,
and all you can think
about is a stolen gift.
So it was the one?
Yeah.
Do you know how much
I paid for that?
Why didn't you return my calls?
I know, I handled it all wrong.
That's a fucking understatement.
I'm sorry.
Look, I have to go.
For what?
I have a dinner meeting.
With who?
What's it matter?
I'm just curious.
With a producer, all right?
He set up a meeting
about a co-production.
Another film in Malta.
Maybe.
How much time do you have?
I don't know, like a few hours.
Does it take you that
long to get ready?
Look who's talking.
Okay.
Why, what'd you have in mind?
Remember that
vacation we had here?
Yes, I remember it.
I just made a movie about it.
Do you want to have
some fun or not?
Oh yeah.
Are you just saying that
or do you really want
to have some fun?
No, trust me, I really
wanna have some fun.
We've gotta keep
this dream alive
We've gotta keep
this dream alive
We've gotta keep
this dream alive
Oh, you and me
You and me, we were
gonna be the heroes
Of a lifetime, you and
me, we climb every tree
Together, you and me
You and me, we would
lay in the moonlight
In the night sky, you and
me we find all the stars
Together, you and me
We've gotta keep
this dream alive
We've gotta keep
this dream alive
Oh, you and me
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
You and me, we were
always the dreamers
In our lives, make
believe, if you like
Oh, we could see
The bigger
picture, you and me
We've gotta keep
this dream alive
We've gotta keep
this dream alive
Oh, you and me
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
We've gotta keep
this dream alive
We've gotta keep
this dream alive
Oh, you and me
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
We've gotta keep
this dream alive
We've gotta keep
this dream alive
Oh, you and me
We've gotta keep
this dream alive
We've gotta keep
this dream alive
Oh, you and me
It was there.
The Azure Window
was right there.
You're right.
You wouldn't even know now.
It's sad.
The Maltese people
lost something
that was truly a part of them.
And now it's what?
It's just a bunch of rocks
at the bottom of the sea.
I think it depends how you
look at it, like everything.
The fact is it went back
to where it came from.
What?
Millions of years ago,
that formation was made
through giant seas
and everything.
Now its collapsed by the
same nature that created it.
You say things are ours,
but what is really ours?
What do we really own?
Our thoughts and experiences.
That's it.
Anything can be taken
from us at any time.
The sooner we accept that,
the sooner we can cope
with whatever life throws at us.
What does that mean though?
You live your life
detached from everything
for fear of
eventually losing it?
I mean, what's the
point of getting close
to anything or anyone
for that matter?
No, it's the opposite.
You can't live your life in
fear of disappointment and loss.
But that's the thing, we
never really lose anything.
We have to nurture and
care for people and things
we have when we have them.
But we have to be
okay with accepting
when these things
are taken from us.
That's life, we can't stop it.
But we can control
our reactions.
Like this Azure Window.
It was amazing, a wonder,
but it was formed by nature,
or whatever you believe.
And taken back by the same.
We have to be okay with that.
Be thankful for what we
have when we have it.
Concern ourselves with
what we can control
not things we can't.
Be okay with letting go.
Just like you let go of me?
Such a drama queen!
When I moved back to Europe,
I felt a lot more comfortable.
- Mm.
- Just culturally, you know.
Oh, careful.
- Fuck!
- You okay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm fine, I'm fine.
Sorry, sorry, I'm fine.
I was just saying the
cultural differences.
- Yeah.
- Like everyone runs
on expensive cigarettes here.
I'm good with that.
In New York, no one smokes.
They are gym crazy,
health crazy.
Vitamins for everything.
Stuff for this,
something for that.
They're obsessed about
health and calories,
but they seem more unhealthy
in their own way than Europeans.
You sit there with
a plate of paella
and they look at you funny.
You used to cook paella
very day for us in New York.
What the hell are
you talking about?
I will always eat paella, okay?
I'm Spanish.
I'm just saying it's
weird for Americans.
Here in Europe, there is not
this big thing about health.
It's like cigarettes
don't give you cancer
over here or something.
No, no, no.
Cigarettes are giving everyone
cancer everywhere, trust me.
That's why you
started smoking again?
I fell off the wagon
for a little bit.
I'll get back on.
You mean on the wagon.
No, it's off the wagon.
No, the wagon is bad.
No, wagon is good.
But on the wagon
is like the trap.
You fall in the trap.
No, the trap is off not on.
That doesn't make sense.
Is it a little strange.
I think they should change it.
Would you like to
be the ambassador
for the international
change on the wagon?
Off the wagon.
Ah, there you go.
Nico.
Okay.
Look, I'll be there, okay?
I'll be there.
Yeah, okay.
Bye.
We have to go?
Soon.
I'm just saying it's
normal to smoke here.
Whenever I smoked in New York,
I felt people were
watching me saying
look at Eurotrash smoking.
Eurotrash.
Isn't that what you guys say?
Oh, us guys.
Yeah, Americans.
Okay, now you're generalising,
bordering on prejudice.
What, I'm not allowed
to express my own views?
You know, sometimes I think
you get too sensitive.
Oh, is that right?
Yeah.
What's the problem with my
experience living in America
I've encountered people
who talk this way?
I was just saying if
you think that everybody
talks that way, that
would be prejudice.
No.
Actually prejudice is
a preconceived opinion
that is not based on reason
or actual experience.
Wow, wow.
Did you memorise that?
Yeah, I was curious.
Hmm, curious about
being prejudice?
How can we not be comfortable
in forming views
based on experience?
We must be able to
express ourselves
and live in a free world.
I agree, I'm just saying
it's very dangerous territory
you're getting into.
Oh, oh, oh, okay, okay, okay.
So what if, for example,
I live next to the sea.
Mm-hmm.
And in my life I know people
who have been eaten by sharks,
the same brand of sharks.
The same brand?
Yeah, the particular shark.
Species maybe.
Ugh, species, brand, come on!
So I say that these
sharks are killers.
Is this prejudice to all the
others sharks in the sea?
You could say that this
particular species of shark
have killed humans under
certain conditions.
Oh my god!
Serious?
Come on, this is ridiculous!
We have to be open
and comfortable to
I'm not saying that
generalising and forming views
without reason, but there has
to be some level of openness.
Freedom of speech
and all that stuff.
Everything people
before us fought for
is slowly getting buried
by sensitive politicians
who don't want to
get on the wrong side
of a particular group for
fear of being prejudice.
You know, there's this great
philosopher named Epictetus.
I really love reading him.
He talks about calling
things by their right name.
I really like his take on it.
Right name?
Yeah.
So calling things
for what they are
without adding your
own judgement to them.
For example, if you see a
guy who drinks a lotta beer
you wouldn't call
him an alcoholic.
You'd just say he's a guy who
drinks a lot of beer, right?
So unless you have a comprehensive
understanding of his life,
how do you know if
he's an alcoholic?
It's about not getting misguided
by the appearance of things
and creating this
distorted view, right?
You stick to the facts,
you use the right name.
Jesus.
These rocks are slippery.
Oh, sorry, sorry.
Not all of them.
Ah ha.
Ah ha, very good.
You know, I didn't even
ask about your Mom.
How is she?
You know, she used to
ask about you everyday.
Yeah, she's the best.
- And her cooking, man.
- Amazing.
My God.
She used to ask about
me, what does that mean?
She forgot?
Not by choice.
Alzheimer's.
What?
I thought you had to be
really old to get that.
Earlier onset is
what they call it.
It's pretty common actually.
How bad is she?
Bad.
Especially this last year,
I had to put her in a home.
Shit.
Your Mom was always
like Wonder Woman,
doing a million things at once.
There's no stoppin' her.
That's so sad.
You know, sometimes
I feel like I'm lucky
to have this last
bit of time with her.
Like it's a warning
or something.
I'm getting the chance to
know that she won't be here
much longer and I
can make the most
of the time we
have left together.
But it's such an awful disease.
She's not even her anymore.
I visit all the time and
when I leave I feel so sad.
Unbalanced.
It really weighs on me
to see her like this.
I don't want to be left with
these last memories of her.
Does she still remember you?
I think so.
Maybe, I can't
tell you for sure,
but she does feel
comfortable when I'm around
so that's good.
Yeah.
So how is it, she just
forgets a lot of things.
No, that's what I thought
that she would just
keep forgetting things,
but it got worse and worse.
It's a neurological disorder
so it kills your brain cells.
So, yes, it's starting
with her forgetting things,
- but everyone forgets things.
- Yeah.
So we never really
put it down to more
than just her doing too
many things and forgetting.
But then it got worse and worse.
Like she would drive and
forget where she was.
Forget how to get home.
This last time she
called me and was stuck
in the middle of the road
in rush hour, freaking out.
She didn't even know
how she got there.
Oh shit.
I was worried about
her for months.
She was crying so much.
I took her to see a
professor in Barcelona
and they did a bunch
of tests and stuff.
They diagnosed her
soon after that.
So it's not like with
The Notebook then.
Flashbacks of memories.
It's no love story, trust me.
It's sad.
I'm literally watching
her age backwards.
When you're born,
you know nothing.
And they even have
to hold your head up.
But you learn, adapt.
Everything you
could do right now,
at one point you
couldn't do that, right?
You develop skills
to communicate and
and find yourself.
She's literally going
backwards, losing her identity.
She's growing up
to be an infant.
It's sad, it's so sad.
She's in her own world.
Mumbles all day with memories
in her scattered mind.
No comprehension of the world.
I'm really sorry, Annalisa.
It's life, right?
It's life and it's real.
I just have to accept it.
And I accept it.
Like I was saying
before, she's going back
from where she came
and that's life.
I just don't want her
to lose her dignity.
She always looked
after herself so much.
Took pride in herself.
Always so stylish,
dressed so well.
The apple doesn't fall
far from the tree.
You remember what
my Dad said about
no one getting out alive?
It's true.
I mean...
I think everyone
wastes a lot of time.
Everyone takes time for granted.
We can spend days,
weeks, months...
People spend a lifetime
getting caught up
in things that are
so meaningless.
I mean, old grudges against
family and loved one.
But that's the thing, those
bonds, those relationships,
they're special.
And they're finite.
Just knowing that we're
only going to be able
to really connect
with just a few people
throughout the
course of our lives.
You know, we really
just have to cherish
and hold on, protect, that love.
Against anything the
world can throw at us.
Life's too short.
Why'd you do that?
Do you want me to stop?
This is gonna complicate things.
Definitely.
I've sold myself to run away
Still right beside you
You drive me crazy everyday
I will never let
you go, oh, oh
Though we gotta take it slow
One more time, everything
will be all right
'Cause you're something
that I've been missing
I think I'll let you in
'Cause you're
something speeding
We're flying
into the horizon
I can't remember
what you said
You will remind me
You put the
writing on the wall
Only you can make
me say, ay, ay
Were we meant to be
After here 'cause you're
the only one for me
'Cause you're something
that I've been missing
I think I'll let you in
'Cause you're
something speeding
We're flying
into the horizon
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
'Cause you're something
that I've been missing
I think I'll let you in
'Cause you're
something speeding
We're flying
into the horizon
I think
about it all the time.
It freaks me out,
but I can't help it.
We're all going to
die anyway, right?
Just like you're Dad said.
When you're dead, you are dead.
You're not going to know,
you're not going to care.
You are dead.
I guess.
Don't fear death, fear
the fear of death.
Just like you're fearing now.
You know, for someone who
didn't grow up speaking English
you really have
a way with words.
I taught myself.
Really?
Yeah.
We have English in school,
but it was just basic.
The teacher was hopeless.
When I decided I was
going to New York,
I just went crazy learning
everything I could.
- Yeah.
- I'd carry a notebook
everywhere, listening to English
lessons on my headphones.
My friends who stayed in
Barcelona thought I was nuts,
but they were happy staying
there so they didn't care.
I just knew I wanted to get out.
See what's on the other side.
Where better than the
city that never sleeps?
So basically you just
watched way too much
Sex and the City and you
decided to see it for yourself.
Pretty much.
Okay.
I thought my English
was actually pretty good
till I got too New York.
Oh my God, I was so embarrassed.
I didn't understand anything!
I always knew what
you were saying.
But I didn't understand
what you were saying.
That's not true.
Okay, maybe half of the time.
So what, so the other
half of the time
you just pretended to
know what I was saying?
Not bad, huh?
Are you serious?
Yeah.
That's unbelievable.
That death thing, man.
Ugh, again.
All right, here me out, look.
Every day is one day
closer to the day.
From the moment we're born,
we're put on the path to death.
My Dad had the best
attitude about all of this,
but it just scares
the shit out of me.
And I try not to think about it.
I tell myself not
to think about it,
but I still think about it.
There are so many things that
I'm never gonna be able to do
because I'm already too old.
I think we can do
anything at any age.
That's not true.
Okay, what is it that you
will never be able to do?
Become a world-class gymnast.
Gymnast?
Yes.
I didn't even know
you liked that.
I don't like it, but
that's not the point.
It is exactly--
I couldn't do it even
if I wanted to do it.
It's exactly the point.
What in your life right
now do you want to do?
What do you want to be?
A filmmaker.
What are you doing?
Making films.
Okay, so don't worry
about being a gymnast.
Concentrate in putting
all your time and energy
on films into being the best
you can be at what you love.
- No.
- Don't worry about
being too old to
become a gymnast.
I was just saying
gymnast though.
It could have been anything.
Vincent, I know you.
If you really wanted
to be a gymnast,
a race car driver,
whatever, you would be.
I really know you.
When you love something,
you become obsessed.
Nothing else matters,
just like making films.
Nothing will stop you.
No one will stop you.
Be happy knowing that.
I guess.
But I still think
about death though.
Oh my God.
You know, with all this
thinking and talking
you're probably going
to attract it even more.
What, like law of attraction?
Yeah, you don't
believe it's true?
No, no, no, I do.
I believe it's true.
We definitely become
what we think,
what's on our mind.
As a matter of fact, I take
relief in that, you know
I take relief in knowing that
I can shape my own future.
I have so many friends,
they have different beliefs
about this kind of thing and...
The thing is, none of
it is tangible enough
to set your life to.
Law of attraction, I know it
works because I tested it.
I do it, I do it
every single day.
I am always visualising the
way I want my life to be.
You know what, take this
film for example, all right.
My first feature film.
That's my dream.
And I'd already directed
it a thousand times
before I got on set.
And now that I've
created this life
I can't wait to do
it all over again.
That's great.
Yeah, and it's not even.
It works for little things too.
I started to figure this out
when I was just a little kid.
Little Vincent, oh, cute.
It is cute, yeah.
No, listen, listen.
My Dad set up this basketball
ring for me in the driveway
and a lot of the times
when I was playing
the ball would
bounce over the fence
into the neighbor's yard,
but my neighbour had
this real scary dog.
So anytime the ball bounced over
I would have to wait for
the neighbour to get home
and then toss the ball
back over, but, of course,
by then it's too late to play.
So I came up with
a little something.
I did this thing where every
time it looked like the ball
was about to bounce
over, I just like,
I concentrated and
I imagined that ball
hitting the fence and
coming back towards me.
And I'm telling
you that it worked.
I swear to God it worked.
Now I didn't tell
anybody about this.
It was highly confidential,
it was my secret.
'Cause people would
probably think I was crazy,
but I knew it worked
so it didn't matter.
You stopped the ball from going
over the fence with your mind?
Yes.
Most of the time.
Sometime the shot
was so horrible
that no law of anything
would have saved it.
Can you do anything else--
Hi, Nico.
Look, why don't you just
tell me where you'll be
and I'll meet you guys there?
All right.
Yeah, bye.
You have to go?
I've got a little more time.
So any other tricks?
I can have you naked
without even touching you.
- Oh really.
- Yeah.
Do it.
You sure?
I dare you.
Okay.
You asked for it though.
That's even better
than I remembered.
Love, an old
familiar feeling
Is coming
Out in waves
I feel so fine
I've let my guard down
And you're working
my good intentions
Disappear
Oh
Yeah
It's too much
Yes, it's too much
Of this good thing
Is more than I even
'Cause your good thing
is no good for me
Been practising?
What, I wasn't good before?
No, you were good,
but now you are.
Very good?
I was going to say amazing.
Still have yours?
Yeah, it's my battle scar.
Battle scar, that's
how you think of us?
Parts of us.
Maybe.
How many times have we listened
to that song in New York?
I think we wore out the mp3.
We were in a rush
to get to class.
Who's fault was that?
What, it stimulates creativity.
I was trying to help you.
I didn't hear you complaining.
You used to step out of
that shower every morning
dripping wet.
Your curves backlit by
the smoggy morning glow
of the New York city skyline.
Such an imagination.
And you'd be singing.
Something always
brings me back to you.
Were we crazy or what?
That's like the golden
rule of tattoos,
is not get your partner's name.
It's not a name.
It's true.
It was our bond, our moment.
Our time.
What about now?
Now.
Now it's our time again.
I never wanted anybody
else, you know.
After that performance,
I think you've
had a lot of practise.
So what?
I've never been connected to
anyone like I am with you.
I was sleeping with other girls,
but I'd be thinking about you.
That's a little weird.
I...
Even your smell,
- it's hard to explain.
- I smell?
It's a good smell.
It's pheromones, it's science.
Body odours are connected
with sexual attraction.
And I just never had
that with anyone else.
It's like, just to
hold you and breathe
makes me feel home and away
all in the same breath.
Like there's no where
else I'd rather be
in this world than right
there with you in that moment.
That's sweet.
I'm not letting you go again.
I don't care what we have
to do to make it work.
We'll do it.
This, this right
here, this is special.
This is a gift, this
is our second chance,
and if you don't see that--
I do.
I do, Vincent.
I love you.
Did you
find something?
I didn't know you
still had this.
Going through my stuff?
It was just sitting here.
You still carry it.
I still use it.
You filled it five years ago.
I find room.
I couldn't help notice.
That note I wrote for you.
You wrote a lot of stuff.
Passing notes in class
and stuff, it was cute.
Remember we tried to
hide it from them?
Like that was never
going to work.
We couldn't keep our
eyes off each other.
I know.
Remember that
first day in class?
We all had to get up,
introduce ourselves.
My God, I was so nervous.
Especially about my English.
You were at the back of the room
with all of the other Europeans.
And I heard this voice,
this sexy, exotic voice
and turned around, and that
was the first time I saw you.
First time?
I noticed you from the moment
you walked in the school.
How come you didn't notice me?
I was focused, okay.
I was a man on a mission.
For what?
To make movies.
I didn't know I was about
to be struck by lightning.
I was lightning?
And thunder.
Wow.
You stood up and you said,
I'm Annalisa from Barcelona.
I was done.
I don't know what
you said after that
because the whole room,
I couldn't hear anything.
It was like in Raging
Bull when Jake LaMotta's
about to get drilled
by Sugar Ray Robinson.
Just silence.
The calm before the storm.
It was a storm.
It still is.
Are you sure you
don't wanna come?
They want to see you and not me.
Are you sure?
Go.
Okay.
Okay.
I miss you already.
Hey.
Where'd you go?
To buy cigarettes.
What happened to your meeting?
Your meeting?
I met with them, I just.
I figured they could sort
out the rest of the details.
I want to be with you.
Come back to bed.
I need to talk to you.
We can talk about
it in the morning.
Just come back to bed.
I really need to talk to you.
Now?
Okay.
I don't know how to say this so.
Um.
Look, it's okay.
I already know.
Know what?
I know what happened.
It doesn't matter anymore.
We're together again now.
We'll have another one.
What?
Well, we talked about
what we would do
if this situation happened,
but we were younger then.
I mean, it's different now.
You know, I'm making money.
Stop it, stop it, stop it.
Hey, it's okay.
You don't know what
you're talking about?
I found it when I moved out.
Found what?
The pregnancy test.
The pregnancy test.
Oh my God.
It's okay.
No, it's not.
Okay.
Come here, just talk to me.
All we did was fight.
We had so many problems.
You were always busy.
What are you talking about?
I didn't know who
the father was.
I was confused.
I couldn't tell you.
What if it wasn't yours?
You fucking cheated on me?
Who is he?
Vincent.
Who is he?
My husband, my now husband.
This gets better.
Vincent.
Vincent.
Where's he from?
Barcelona, I knew him already.
He was on vacation in New York.
And what the fuck
was today about then?
This wasn't easy, okay?
To come and see you.
I told myself that
I would come clean,
tell you everything
face to face.
But it was just like
all those years ago.
I was about to
write you a letter.
And you don't deserve it.
I was with you lying
in bed and I couldn't.
You couldn't what?
You couldn't fucking
run out on me again?
All this time.
All the pain.
All the years I spent
wondering what you were doing
and who you were with.
If you were still listening
to the same songs that I was.
It didn't stop, Annalisa.
There were fragments of
you in every single thing
that I did.
Do you know how
much I've struggled?
Do you know how much I've
had to work on myself
to get to where I am right now?
And you think what, you can
just come back into my life
and just press continue?
Okay, listen to me.
What else is there to say?
You cheated on me with
him and now you're cheating
on him with me.
That is fucked up.
When I got on that plane
in New York that night
I cried the entire way home.
He called me, we made up.
I was just so angry with you,
so angry about the things
we couldn't get right.
That drove us apart,
drove each other crazy.
All the jealousy, it
could have been his too.
She looks more and
more like you ever day.
Her name is Audrey.
She's beautiful.
You look like you've
seen a bloody ghost!
Who are you?
Who am I, who are bloody you?
Hey, Vincent, you got the rent?
We talked about it.
The rent.
Vincent.
I come back later.
I know how hard this must
be for you right now.
Vincent.
Do you have a picture of her?
She looks just like me.
I know.
I'm a dad.
You are a dad.
What's she like?
Amazing.
Bright.
Funny.
She's a miracle.
How could you keep this from me?
I'm sorry.
You know, it's hard
for me to believe now,
but at the time I wasn't
going to have a baby.
He wanted to and
I started feeling
more comfortable about it.
I didn't know if I was going
to have another chance.
The longer I waited the
more maternal I felt.
It's the best
decision I ever made.
She's my world.
But he's not.
I don't know how much longer
I can keep the truth from her.
It's not fair,
they need to know.
If you tell her now
you're gonna damage her.
She has to find out eventually.
What's the difference?
The difference is that you
should have been honest
in the first place.
I didn't know.
I didn't know for sure,
but there's no doubt now.
Does he know about me?
No.
What about New York?
I told him I was kind
of dating someone,
but it was complicated.
Yeah.
Everything in your
life is complicated.
What do you want me to say?
You make things
complicated, Annalisa.
You pack your bags and leave
after four years together.
Four years travelling
around the world
trying to be together,
building our lives together.
I come back home after
another stupid argument
and you're gone.
And not only have you gone,
but you've shut me out
of your life completely.
No explanation, no
parting words, no nothing.
And then you come
back five years later
when I am just starting
to get my shit together.
And you tell me that I have
a five-year-old daughter
living with you and your
husband in Barcelona?
What the fuck?
It's the truth.
Oh, and that's supposed
to make things all better?
I came here because I wanted
to tell you the truth,
I needed to tell you the truth.
You deserve to know.
Oh, I deserve to know now.
Not five fucking years ago?
Well, maybe you just can't live
with the guilt anymore, huh?
You're relationship
is on the outs
and the man you used to love
or apparently used to love,
the father of your
illegitimate child
can actually look after
her now financially.
So you say maybe I can
just go play happy family.
Maybe I can just walk
back into his life,
daughter and all, five
years after I deserted him.
Like it's that easy.
That's not why I came.
Why then?
Why now?
I told you why.
Oh, that's right.
And it took you five years
to figure that out, huh?
You know laying all
this shit on me now
after everything
that just happened,
turning back the clocks,
reliving who we used to be,
what we used to be together.
I even told you
that I loved you.
And you did it to me again.
You screwed me over again.
I'm so stupid.
I'm so fucking stupid.
No, you're not.
You're beautiful.
You're a beautiful man.
So this is why you left me.
I love you, Vincent.
I've always loved you.
I've never stopped loving you.
Not a day hasn't gone by I
haven't thought about you.
About us, about what we had.
How I would have done
things different.
How many times I
would write letters
explaining everything
I told you today.
But you never sent them.
You love playing the
victim, don't you?
Excuse me?
Yes, it was you with
the broken heart.
It was you that
got screwed over.
But our relationship had
problems and it needed fixing.
By fucking another guy?
And you never
fucked that actress?
No.
I was in love with you!
You want the truth?
What, is there more shit that
you've been lying to me about?
The truth is I'm the same
woman I've always been.
I'm not what you want me to be,
not what you dream
me to be, just me.
Me.
You said you suffered
all these years
and I'm sorry for
that, I truly am.
The thought of
your pain kills me.
But you need to know you
have been hurting yourself
for far too long.
You need to open your eyes.
See things for what
they really are
not for what you
want them to be.
You can't control
other people's actions,
you can only control yours.
I'm not the perfect girl
you want me to be, okay?
I get emotional,
irrational, jealous.
I screw up like anyone
else, but I'm learning.
It's called life.
Well, you didn't need
to fuck another guy
to know that it was wrong.
Life doesn't come with
a manual, Vincent.
Sometimes you screw up.
But look on the flip side.
You just made your
dreams come true.
You made your first movie.
What ever happens, you did
it, and it's from the heart.
It's true and honest.
It comes from a time and place
that means something to you
and people are
going to feel that.
It's come out of your
experience with us.
You have a beautiful
five-year-old daughter
waiting for you.
And the woman you said
you never stopped loving
is here now, in this
moment, waiting for you,
asking for a lifetime or more.
You are complicated.
I'm a woman!
I can't turn back time,
Vincent, but I can give you now.
Now?
Yes, now.
And what is now?
Whatever we want it to be.