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Malina (1991)
Think you're better than others?
Why're you so special? Your hands! Give me your lovely white hands! Stop! Your father nearly fooled me. That was his doing. Come with me now or we're through! I can't. Not now. Let me try one last time. I'll just calm him down, then I'll come. I'll see you when it's all over. He tried to kill me. Good evening. It's a family party. The folks are a bit... overexcited. What quirk of fate brought me to this? It can't be a stranger. It can't be for no reason. That would be a fraud. It can't be true. "Around me the angels lose their wings. "They carry me as they do the sick, "as they carry them to heaven. "In a year or two, I'll return to the same spot, "to confuse the places and times, "and to confuse you, and me, and others." What are you doing? Keeping the mail secret, nothing more. Not sending them? No, they won't arrive today. No more todays for them. Miss Jelinek typed them, right? Malina... animal... Melani, animus, anima... Ivan, naive... Here and now. What's here is useful. Reassuring. Proves I exist. You need this to know you exist? You should talk. If I say the magnolias are in bloom, you tell me to buy a new tipewriter ribbon. Stop it. You've always seemed to be in my life. Even before I knew you. In a place only you could fill. So I was pushed out. Writing makes me bitterly aware of it. In your next interview, say you don't exist. It'll cut our expenses. At least I didn't meet you too soon. I kept you from banging into the hot stove, drowning in your tub and losing things all the time. Thank you, Malina... Come, we'll be late. Why look at yourself like that? I've always hated D'Annunzio's remark that all a woman wants is to be lovely to a man. Women hear worse. The mirror makes me exist! I say you exist, even if you're a specimen. As if I didn't exist. I always need reassurance that I do, even from a mirror. Why're you so pale? Get out more. You never wear your striped dress. Because I gave it to you? I want some flowers. What kind? Yes? Have we met? First I must go to the post office. Money orders? Stamps? Packages? Bathing suit? Savings account? Sorry, our ways diverge here. Get in line! Some nerve! You could cure me. Let me explain. No need to explain... None at all... Explain what? It's nobody's business. Don't explain anything. I'm happy. It's a virus everybody should catch. An epidemic of it would cure the worlds ills. What do you mean? What virus? A virus that's not a sickness. What is it then? I don't know. I used to be desperate. Now i feel alive again. Dressing already? I warned you. I have to show some people around town tonight. I can't find the last page, but... I'll try to end this from memory. About Wittgenstein's silence on aesthetics: I've spoken an hour on what he said can't be said, that which is best left unsaid. I'm exceeding the limits of language. Defining those limits in itself transgresses them... The act necessarily violates them. No words can be wholly justified. To conclude, how does one distinguish an "essential word" from what Heidegger calls "chitchat" when there is no authority in language to justify it? I would venture to say: consciense... and admitting it is arbitrary. We reserved a table for lunch. Going with your friend or in my car? We never met! My car is nearby. But I thought... You said... I was at your sister's funeral. I was once considered a genius. That didn't last. So I read. To the press, a famous acress's brother had to be a genius. My writing is where it belongs: buried! Say you'll look for me in the closet. I won't be there. Is that you? Right now? She's leaving anyway. Immediately, I tell you! Since she found a man, she's always leaving. Come, of course. Just tea and whiskey... OK. Type this up and send the letters to Mr. Richter. There're no letters to type. Then write some! I can't do it Monday. I have to leave now. I'm getting married Monday. Did you write this? Certainly not. You know I only write pulp, and a few things about doctors. It's your handwriting. What's this mean? "Death Styles", "Three Killers", "The third Man"? Did you write this? Must be Miss Jellinek. She dabbles in poetry. "The Shadows of Egypt." You OK otherwise? Who's going to read these books? Why write such books? The others have been written. You think it's funny? Humanity has problems. You forgot the butter. Must I suffer because humanity starves? Try to concentrate a bit. Your strip-act won't help. You must make me attack you. Understand? I'm in enemy territory and you must attack me. It's not a game anymore. I know I'll win. Last night we could've reached a draw. Never! What's wrong? I don't want to hurt you. No one does. Why are you always scared? I don't know. Were you beaten as a child? No, never. How about this one? How do you wear this? This is how people should see us. We only look like this once in our lives. It can't be this way... Malina would say: "Let's call in reinforcements." Now look at me! I saw you on TV, ma'am. Can I... have your... autograph? Of course. Sorry, I was called away for a moment. Ernest, what are you doing here? Sorry. Go downstairs now! Hurry up! Sorry. I'll fix that up. It's ruined, so I must buy it. It's not ruined. A few stitches and it'll look great on you... Just a few stitches... Why're you laughing? A guy called Lajos called you. Urgent. Where do you vanish to? Jealous? You must understand me. I love no one, except children. I've earned an ice cream. Bring cigarettes, too, we'll smoke them together. It'll be too late for ice cream. Some other time. I must go home now, it's late. I had my thesis exam. If I know you, it was a drama. Just the opposite. I saw embers on the floor near the stove. I got a pan and shovel. Not a soul around. The smoke and embers were awful. I smelled of them for days, my shoes were ruined. Nothing happened. So you saved Vienna's Institute of Philosophy. What about you? I didn't go up in smoke, alas. I stayed. What'd you say? Nothing. Go ahead. Later. What'll you do later? I'll never tell you. What'd you say? I hate to yell like this. "Dear Mr. Schonthal... "Hastily... "and full of anxiety... "For years... "I have been incapable... "sometimes for weeks on end... "The woman you thought you knew... "does not exist!" I'm simply dead. Nothing special... letters. I'm going right to bed. I'm exhausted. I'll sleep as long as I like. You go to bed early too, for once. Yes, I was awfully tired. Dead tired. Dead! No I'm not in bed yet. I'm just tired. That's all, weary. You must be even more tired. Now? You said to come at once, right? That's what I said. If not now, when? You said something before... I have to take a piss. ...something that made me feel save. But one line can't tranquilize someone who's lost everything. A veritable deluge! I don't know why I'm crying. Cry your heart out. It'll do you good! I assure you, I'll get over it. But a week without you... It's never lasted a week. You don't notice. So you cry in advance. Maybe you're right to cry in advance. Maybe later there won't be anything to cry about. A week without you is a week without reality. You can't imagine what it's like. Go ahead, cry. I'm off to bed. Really? Malina, you understand that a woman, who lives alone, and works can suddenly become dependent on someone else...? Go to bed. No, I must tell you today. How can a simple phone call to one be a disaster for the other? Don't tell me anything... Nothing! You look tired. Do I turn out the lights? No, leave one on, please. I'll turn them all off, for once. Do you good. Go to sleep. Be happy. I am happy. Because if you're not happy... Then? Then... you'll never write or do anything... good! Malina, do I still deserve anything? You can get anything from me, except what I don't have. I can't give you that. Now what? How long will you put up with this? You're asking to soon. For now, that's not the problem. Soon, perhaps... someday. I want you to come at once. I want you to come at once. Why stare at me as if you'd seen a ghost? Ordinary things can cause an explosion at any moment. I hope this calamity spared your car. Lend it to me for tonight? Mine's in the repair shop. I really need a car. It's Bela's hand: burned or sprained or something. Of course, I'll give you the keys. Here! Thank you. I want you to come at once. "If you know something, keep it quiet!" I was in bed. I'm dead tired. How's Bela? Her hand isn't sprained, broken or cut... Just a minor burn. Mother exaggerated, as usual. Now... I'd like to be sick. That light's no good for working. Bad for the eyes. Sorry, but I'm in a hurry. I'm not Christ, I can't save you. You look like him. If you can't save me, shield me from the fire. I bet Malina's thought of that already. "Dear Mr. Schonthal, for years... "I've been unable to open my door, answer... "...the phone or call for weeks on end. "I can't do it, but don't know how to overcome it." The letter to Mr. Schonthal must go out at once. The request is already a year old. This letter won't do at all. I don't really know this man. It's a Graeft & Stift, 4-door sedan, motor number 287, 42 H.P. You hear me? The only feminine element in your museum is the horses' rumps in the battle scenes. The rear was damaged by the terrorist bombing. You can see the damage. You don't believe me, and you're right, but someday... I may start... So start. ...devoting myself to you, for what you do, think, feel. Let it rest, stir, beat, knead, whip, whip... Follow these recipes faithfully and you end up in a hospital. You show it when something's wrong. Just now everything's fine. Why not simply say you want to come back to my place? Stop it, Ivan! I'm letting you play your little game. I'm not playing now. I stopped playing long ago. That's just it. Without the play it all goes wrong. "I'll die. But my death will avenge me. "I'll not die alone. Someone will follow me." I don't understand... about the Jubilee ceremonies? A glorious era, before I was born. I've really no opinion on it. Not that I have any... But you know... what they say: History teaches lessons, but it has no students. What was I saying? I'll try to be clearer, to stick to the facts... Justice... is... a pious wish, a hope for the inaccessible. When it touches us too closely, we call it injustice. The real culprits are still alive... The fire at the Courthouse... that permanent fire... The fire... there's always fire... Erasing the tape? Why? Erasing everything? What was I saying? I read a lot. But I see the horror, the shocks elsewhere... words on a sign, names on a poster, book titles, a name in a phonebook, an epitaph in Slovenian on a gravestone, a placard, a line on a page... Sometimes these fragments insist on being heard. "With my burned hand I write of fire." Language is punishment: everything is in it, and through it error makes all things vanish. Everything vanishes! In this fragile medium, our century has ignited a few minds, burning them so that they give light. They were burned! Through the chimney! Bela should have taken you back long ago. You were at home: I saw the light in your window. I wanted to say... Why didn't you call me? I was busy too. Always defending yourself! You ought to attack me. Go on, attack! I do all the time. You don't notice it. Show me your hand. Not like that, the back. You can see a woman's age in her hands. I spot it at once. Never misses with women. there: these brown spots... Leave me alone! I must warn you... I save you from choking, and you're warning me? Watch out! I'm not who you think I am. You don't realize I'm double. Double! I'm Malina's creature, too. You don't see that. He didn't teach you much! Understand? I'm also Malina, and Malina is me. You're a handsome man, Malina. I simply write: "You give me no choice, I'll defend my hide. "I'll skip the description of it, "as you knew it well." Just sign it: "A Stranger." Mail to you is like a grenade with the pin out. What did you want? Restrain your charitable impulses. If you don't no hairdresser for one year. Looking for someone, ma'am? A Bulgarian gentleman from Israel reading the Express. There are 20 gentlemen reading the Express, ma'am. I'm the blond in the blue coat. And after the meeting I won't be able to afford a new coat. Excuse me, ma'am? I hope he doesn't need millions... You're the man? You've come... How wonderful! So you met my friends in Israel? I don't think so. I wasn't in Israel. I'm Bulgarian. I got your name out of the phonebook. You're my only hope. You're from Sofia? I've brought you something. Read this now? Everything, right away! I'll read it at home. Read everything now! Please! Right now! Well? Look, I can't read it all now! Listen, please... I need money to pay for my trip to Itzehoe. Where? You have to go to Itzehoe? They want to amputate my legs there. You have to have your legs amputated? And you have no money? Do you have change? Thank you. Thank God you're in! You must help me! A foreigner's coming. Give him a 1st class ticket to Itzehoe. One way. And 2000 Schillings in cash. I must go. Do you have a pen? Give this to that man when I'm gone. Right away, ma'am. Not right away! After I've gone! I have to answer all this? Take it back to the post office. These cats have to go! They'll be gone by the end of the month. You said that last month! I don't like them! They belong to two children. Thanks for feeding them yesterday. You think of everything! Ma'am! Should we move it today? Why now, Lina? You've wanted to all year. Why not now? We've waited this long, what's another week? We'll get some men to do it. Men, ma'am? We don't need men to move a few sticks. Don't look at me! I'm no man! I have an idea! We'll find two men, give them a tip and a beer! Give me the tip, ma'am. We'll do it ourselves. It's for me. It's for me! Come off it! It's for me. No one on the phone. What are you doing? Leave it! I have to stay here! I have to wait to get into my home. Shall I call someone to get you? I have to wait... ...until I can pass by there - I have to wait here... because... Don't you understand? This is Andras and that's Bela! My sole heirs! Hi aunty! Did the dentist hurt you? My tooth hurt, but he pulled it! And I... I... You only had two little cavaties! I don't believe you. Show me! I had a wisdom tooth pulled. I have them, you don't! Liar! I despise you, son of a Caliph's dog. I, Cashmir the magician, will depose you. You, my son Mizrah, will be the new caliph of Baghdad! This magic powder will serve me well! So the enchanted creatures pressed on. They knew not how to end the torment, imprisoned in stork's bodies. Who would believe their story? A stork who claimed to be a caliph! So the flew toward Medina, and came to rest for the night in the shelter of an old ruin. The caliph opened the door with his beak and stopped in surprise. Welcome, storks! My father is the King of India, I am his wretched only daughter. My name is Lusa. Cashmir the magician cast a spell on me. One day he asked for my hand in marriage for his son. My father threw him out. His revenge was this spell. He dragged me here. He said to me angrily: "Here you shall remain, spurned by all "'til the end of your days, or 'til someone "takes you as his wife!" I know how to break his spell. If one among you marries me, I will help him find the magic charm. Be patient. You know we'll meet again. I know. But where? And when? In a town... And in this town there will be a street. I will lose my eyes. It is Sunday in the mirror. "Take the star from my eye ere it sparkles. "Pluck the grass from my brow ere it withers. "Slam the door to the clouds ere I fall." Trounced again! You play by remote control. You attack what is mine and neglect the rest. Trounced! You sneak past my door, even when you're alone here. Even when I'm alone here. I know... "as though there were no doors..." You'd rather I was suspicious? Take the initiative. Stop me from saying stupid things. No, that's not my role. What did you want? Nothing. It's getting easier to be apart. I hadn't noticed. Now I can spend hours without thinking of you. One day the earth will cave in beneath you. You're always crying wolf. Watch, when I can let go... parting's easy! I can leave you. But you come back quickly! Five seconds less than last time. But you should stop drinking. You promised. You caught me off guard! I was close to immortality! Wear your striped dress. I'd die first. Only if you smoke as you change! I just got in. A little walk. From your place? No? I'll call you back. OK, call you tomorrow. "Hanging up's like... "...opening the dam! How do I keep my head above water?" "Some day..." What did you cross out? You saw. Stop taking those pills! I was thinking of that day in Klagenfurt. My first real pain. It stays with me. Not the graduation party story again! I was walking along the river. I was 13. An angelic boy said to me... "I have something for you." How do you know? "I have something for you." But when I drew near he punched me hard in the face and said, "That's for you!" That was my first encounter with pain and with the pleasure in it. Only happens to you! Nothing ever happens to you! Face to face with death... Don't you feel anything? Not even disgust? You have to discuss everything! Why do you feel contempt for me? I always come back to you. That I wanted to know. It's all I ask. Can an outsider come between two people? I don't mean us, of course. Nothing can come between us. Why not us? Because we're an entity or nothing! They'll break your fingers to pry it when you're dead! What does that mean? Can't you take a joke? It wasn't a joke! You didn't address it. That letter needs no address. But you're no child! "Another brandy?" Uncle Gabriel had another. He sat down. The policeman said: "What kind of an artist are you?" Uncle Gabriel thought this over carefully and replied: "I'm a chorus girl." I'd like to have them all the time. I bet you're glad we're going. Ivan, about Venice... it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Be good for you to go. We could... I've explained it all. My mother vetoed the Tyrol. We'll go... ...to Lake Mond. When? In two days. I couldn't reach you to tell you. Good timing. The Altenwyls invited me to Lake Wolfgang. I've cancelled twice, if I don't go they'll be hurt. Go! Get a change of air. I need a prince to rescue me. I defended you, princess, now I'll save you. Who are you? Show me your face. Come, don't leave me. My people are older than any other, and scattered to the winds. That's be in 20 centuries. We'll talk like humans... I'll talk like a woman... and you like a man. But... Don't answer a May 31 letter, or even mention the date. These can wait! I thought... Leave! For God's sake, leave! You're stuttering. Why? I'm not imagining it! I'm busy today, so we won't meet again. Tomorrow? No need to come to the station. Look, I'm in an awful hurry! See you tomorrow. What're you doing? Afraid I'd throw out your posthumous works in your absence? I don't want to leave Vienna. Come! In summer, all proper people must be seen on the banks of Lake Wolfgang. Too bad. I understand. Send me a postcard signed by the kids! I can't talk now, I must call a cab. Hello. You came after all. I hear odd things of you. You promised me tranquility. Don't worry. There'll be no one but the family. How many in your family? You can't stay shut in. Get back in touch with humanity. Madam, a letter for you. Dinner is served. My dear guests, welcome to this hunt dinner. I must point out... the links between hunting and this house. You've seen all the trophies, and you wonder, why they're here. Hunting is a family tradition, generations old. My ancestors collected these trophies over the centuries. You won't like some of them maybe all of them... because they're dead things. But our tradition makes us keep them in this house. I, too, respect that tradition... and I've kept them here. I'm being cruelly of robbed these days. I despair in wasting them like this when life is at Lake Mond. It's irreversible. "I saw sentences under the night lights, "hanging between the trees, "floating in sewers, "printed by cars in the hot asphalt." Telegraph service. Urgently need telegram to return urgently to Vienna. Thanks, Malina. I can't breathe! Please, quit work early. I'm a prisoner here! No... never mind... too bad... OK. It's not me who makes it difficult. "Around me, the angels lose their wings, "they bare me as they bare the sick, "as they bare them to heaven. "In a year or two, "I'll return to the same spot, "to confuse the place, the time, "to confuse you, and me... ...and others." A book on the war! Mother! Who is your father? You're really here. Why do you repeat "father"? Cover me, please. I don't know who my father is. Do you know who he is? Stop! For once we're speaking of him, so who is he? I don't know! Swear you don't! No, i never swear. Then I'll tell you. I'll tell you. No... never tell me. Never tell me. Bring me a towel for my head, it aches. You will tell me! You can be sure of it! Make an effort! Stand up! Walk a bit! I long for peace! You yourself are war! I want the war to end... Breathe! No more hating! Breathe! You're better already. I'm holding you! We'll go to the window. Easy... Don't say anything. At least have some tea. You're egg's ready. How'd it go bad in only two days? It was in the fridge. Forgive me, Malina. For what? Get dressed. I don't like talking this early. Calm down! It'll pass. I'm cold. It's my steel plate. Remember my accident. Everyone should have a bit of steel or plastic in the body areas that are most stressed by others. With you, it's your shoulders. You don't go mad that way! Come, I beg you! Don't beg me! I only beg you for this. Come! I beg you! Ivan must never know! Promise me! While I can, I'll do the talking. Don't tell Ivan! To whom? Not a word! To anyone! Promise me! Talk to me! How was the dinner with the Fleissners? Say something, talk to me, about anything! Light candles, turn on lights, I need light! I know I need light, turn on all the lights, everywhere, all the time... In fact, Malina... What? Go to sleep! You must sleep! I said a name before... a man's name? Leave the light, don't worry about me. The man's still alive, he'll call me. If he does... tell him... tell him... no, never mind. Don't tell him anything. Tell him I'm out. What can I do for you? What could you do? Hurl myself under a car, or into the Danube. How are you? Lots of work... Nothing special. The kids get used to it. Did I say I once worked for a news service? They really manipulate news! They just juggle the stuff pouring off the wire. Perfect for you! It gets to you, chills your blood. I haven't read a newspaper in two years. I can't drink whiskey at night. You've something to tell me? I can interpret those dreams... Why laugh? I'm not laughing. You ought to get some sleep! I'm starting to understand. I've always distorted words. Instead of "model role" I'd read "mortal role". Could you get up early tomorrow? I'm dead tired. If, for once, you ensure that my egg isn't undercooked or overcooked, I'd be grateful. Water of the Danube and the Neva must soak them, so they become statues in ice! First you must kill the poor things, no? Of course not! If I did, this couple's expressions of the laws of nature... ...would disappear! No, I'll spray them alive. You'll kill them anyway. Of course not! Their natural movements expressing the laws of beauty... ...would disappear! I'll have them... sprayed... alive. You'll kill them! - Certainly not! You know I've no sister named Eleonore. We were close as children. At school in Vienna, we'd go to Sunday concerts. Sometimes we dated the same men. Were you jealous? No. Then she sent me a sad letter, most unlike her. What'd she become? I don't know... She died abroad. "What makes such images valuable "are the thoughts, mostly grim, that they breed. "If someone ill-advised "seeks to satisfy a sick curiosity, "I warn him kindly he'll find nothing to excite "a sick imagination. "He'll only find inevitable vice, "the eyes of the demon lurking in the darkness." Animus... Who's she? It's January 26! Everything's rain-washed. It's stifling here. Let's go to the window. Those dreams... Come! Those dreams... Your memories? At times I'm confused. No one can be everything to someone. Exactly. No one was ever everything to me. That's what's so sad. Now you must do this: dissolve all those persons into one. But I've been dissolved. That's true. You have to live with that. Or not. Father! This time you'll listen to me! Have you nothing to say? I know who you are! He's not my father, he's my murderer! Why keep repeating "father"? It's always war! A never-ending war. Sign this. Here's your letter. I like the letters... ...you don't give me! But your mail must be pleasant. I do my best. We'll see. The mail can be a burden. Wait, I almost forgot... Here! You have a sense of humor! One can feel close to people one hardly knows. I do with you. How many letters written and unmailed? What've you done to your clothes? I've broken with myself. You can't go out like that! Look at yourself! God, look at yourself! What if we went to live elsewhere? You can't go on like this. Look! You say it smells of cat's piss here. I don't understand you anymore. Here! Don't start crying! We're staying here? Didn't you want to go out? No! I'll stay here for good. You? Surprised? Phone first! I came to hear the radio! I'm starved for news! Very chic! Is it "in"? - All the way! Sorry, I have to toss you out! Sure, toss me out! Ivan... Want a drink? Something's happened. You look as if a tornado had hit you. I'm still in it. Nothing to say? Me? Not a thing. Just "Ivan". You've said a bit more. Ivan... My life. You are joy, and you are life. Believing in you brings eternal life. What did you say? Nothing. How long have you been shortening my life? When did I die? My sweet lunatic, you'll come back to life someday. Someday I'll tell you something, once and for all. Not today, but I will. Out of smokes? That's what I meant: I'm out of smokes! Sorry, I must leave. I'm sick. I've forgotten something. I must've forgotten to turn off the coffee on the gas... I mean... Do you mind? Of course I don't mind. Of course you don't! You must tidy up! What's that mean? You've got to remember your posthumous work... "Death styles"... Wait, it's not like that anymore. Wait... There! Now it's like this. Read it. "Death installments"... I try, but I don't understand you. Remember the night you wouldn't plug in the light and stayed all night in the dark? I've often been in the dark, while you were in the light! You hurt me! A light tap! You hurt me! My lipstick... Lipstick? Now I've no more secrets from you. I'll wear the new black dress and the new belt. Put on the colored shawl... since you never wear the striped dress. I will, eventually! Anyway, you didn't tear it. Thanks for leaving it. You left me, too, Malina, I should say, you abandoned me. Nonsense! I mean, you left me alive... and that's all! What does "alive" mean? What's not livable! You forgot long ago that I exist with you. Me? Forget you? Let's go! No! You go first. I'll follow you. No, I'm alone. Yes, I'll call you back. Coming, Ivan? I can't sit here! Don't you see someone's already sat here? Sorry! You must be hungry. Let's go back in. I'll eat now. At first I couldn't bear it. We can move on. I hated to think that another couple like us, will eventually sit there... We needn't go in. But I will, for my last meal. I'll know how it feels to get your head chopped off. Please... could... could you... Could you... What? Just a second... Tell me... Can you help me? Wait a second... I... I... I don't know where I am. I'm lost... Where's Ungargasse? There'll be no tomorrow... People won't be... they'll never be... it'll be the end. Don't look at me that way, it's mine! Get up! I once met someone handsome... That's what devastated you? Just the opposite! How does someone so handsome, make you dream more than anyone on earth? Beauty's nothing! I know... It's minor to you, but it's vital, and I've seen it. I've never been happy, but I've seen beauty! Stand up! Make an effort, dammit! Don't just let go! Let go? Me? Let go of you? Letting go of yourself! I'll stand up. For you alone! Just as I eat only to please you. Kill him! Did you say something? Kill him! I can't. It's impossible. He's my life! Kill him! The prince will become a toad. At least I won't hurt anyone. You're deathly pale. Sick? You need rest. No, I'm in good health. We'll phone each other. Yes. I said we'll phone each other now and then. I understand. We'll call each other. What's the point? Why scream so? We'll phone each other. I've a lot to do these days. Now's the time to call him, as we said. What are you doing? If no one calls, this wall must open! It's got to yield! Can't control yourself? No, I can't! Soon nothing will stir my memory. Lie down, please! It's got to yield! It's got to yield! Nothing yields only because you will it to. I've lost the only odor that let me sleep peacefully. If you've loved someone, that one should not exist any longer. Never again. It's time for you to leave. You have everything you need? - Of course! You'll be OK alone? - Of course. Sorry about the dress. I've a mad desire to wear it today. Today I'm in a mood to wear it. How do you always know my size? I can beg off... No, you go ahead! Thanks so much for the dress. I must speak to you today. I must say it to you now. You've already taken three. That's enough! No, one and a half! Can't you see one's cut in half? I counted them this morning. Three are missing. Two and a half, maximum. And halves don't count. Sleep well. You don't understand anything! You say something? Please, one more. I need it! I can't stand it! Oh please! No more for you! Please! Let's go to sleep. One more! Just one! Please! My last will. Here's what I'd like to preserve of my life: Malina's beautiful voice, but none of my fine words in fits of sweet excitement. I will not swallow 40 pills, for Ivan's sake, so that Ivan doesn't feel guilty. To his Excellence Malina I'll do no harm, only because I don't want to harm Ivan. Ivan is not guilty. How long's this wall been cracked? When did you notice it? When did these shadows appear over the radiator? There has to be something on the wall. Since we don't hang pictures. I need white walls, intact walls. I hate wounded walls. Is that all you can put on? Why always my old bathrobe? I've nothing else to put on left. Something must've gone astray... A man, a woman... It's a strange madness. What words? And all a mistake. I don't think so. But it is here and today? Yes, sure... You must keep me, Malina. How should I treat you? I hate you! You say something? You must keep me, please. It's not true... What I said to you. I'll never believe another thing you say. Never again. What are you doing? Come and sit down. No more letters, anyway. Are you done? What are you up to? Get us some coffee. If you like, I'll go at once. My kingdom! My wondrous country, that I held in my mortal hands! My country... My wondrous country, that I held in my mortal hands! My country, now no bigger than this flame. Don't burn! Don't! I must not burn! Malina... Yes? If you don't hold me now, it's murder. Murder? Yes. One you won't have committed. Wrong number. Should I tell you the number? No, there's no woman here. There's no one here. There was never a woman here by that name. My name? It was murder! |
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