A girl went back to Napoli
Because she missed the scenery
The native dances
and the charming songs
But wait a minute
Something's wrong
'Hey, mambo! Mambo italiano!
'Hey, mambo! Mambo italiano!
Go, go, go, you mixed-up siciliano
You calabrese,
do the mambo like-a crazy
With a hey, mambo!
Don't wanna tarantella
'Hey, mambo! No more-a mozzarella
'Hey, mambo! Mambo italiano!
Try an enchilada with the fishy bacalao
And then-a hey, goombah
I love-a how you dance the rumba
But take some advice, paisano
Learn how to mambo
If you gonna be a square,
you aint-a gonna go nowhere
'Hey, mambo! Mambo italiano!
'Hey, mambo! Mambo italiano!
Go, go, Joe! Shake-a like-a Giovanno
'Hello, kess-a-deetch-a,
get-a happy in the feets-a
When you mambo italiano
Shake-a, baby, shake-a
cos I love-a when you take-a me
Mama say You stop-a
or I'm gonna tell-a Papa
And-a hey, jadrool,
you don't-a have to go to school
Just make-a with the beat, bambino
It's like-a vino
Kid, you're good-lookin
but you don't-a know what's cookin'
Till you hey, mambo! Mambo italiano!
'Hey mambo! Mambo italiano!
Oh, oh, oh, you mixed-up siciliano
It's-a so delisha,
everybody come, capisce
'How to mambo italiano!
- He's gonna miss his train, Frank.
- Tommy, he'll be here.
I'm sorry you couldn't
come over for dinner.
- What dinner?
- Last night.
Rose talked to Angie about it.
She said you guys were busy.
She never mentioned that.
We were watching TV.
You missed a good dinner, Frank.
I don't know what's wrong
with Angela lately. I gotta talk to her.
Right on time.
Passengers for the train arriving
on track four, please watch your step.
I love you!
- How do these people do it every day?
- It's like fuckin' sardines.
Every time I think of you
I feel shot right through
with a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine,
but it's a problem I find
Living a life that I can't leave behind...
I tell you what, Angela.
It all boils down to good follicles.
Youve been blessed.
One head in a million.
I ran into her at Foodtown.
- I invited her over for dinner.
- Yeah?
But Angela says they're busy.
Then, this morning,
Tommy is talking to Frankie.
- Turns out they were home last night.
- Stop!
Frankie didn't know anything about it.
She never even told her own husband.
Who the hell does she think she is?
Mrs D, you don't like it?
No, no. It's not the cut.
Thanks, Ray.
- Connie!
- Hey, doll! How are you?
Oh, look at you. A redhead!
- You look gorgeous.
- Oh, honey!
- Hey, Angela!
- Hi!
- How you doin', kiddo?
- OK. How you doin'?
You know me. Always lookin for action!
- You look terrific, kid.
- Thanks.
- That Frank better keep an eye on you.
- Yeah, right!
You comin' to the card game tonight?
Come on. We haven't seen you in an age.
No, I gotta help Joey.
He's having a lot of trouble in school.
Of course he is!
He hangs out with Tony Junior.
Face it, these boys will never be Einstein.
Come on over tonight.
No, I really can't.
Listen, I gota go. I'm real sorry.
Have a great time.
It was great to see you guys.
Bye. Take care.
That bitch! She thinks her shit don't stink.
I have three cards.
One red - you can take all my bread -
and two blacks - that'll set you back.
Watch it, chase it, see where I place it.
- It's right here.
- That's it.
Give me five and you win ten.
Aw...
- Gee, I coulda sworn, giris...
- Tough luck, giris. Try again.
Hey! What's goin' on here?
- Hi, Mrs de Marco.
- Hi, Tara.
- Hm?
- Nothing, Ma. Were just playing.
- You playing for money?
- No, we were just playing for fun.
Right, guys?
I want all of youse to go home.
Joseph Francis, I'll talk to you inside.
I'll be right in, Ma.
- Hi, hon.
- Hi, babe.
- Goin out tonight?
- Yeah, Tony called a meeting.
- You playing cards at Connies tonight?
- No. What are you looking for?
No? Why not?
I don't feel like it.
Angela, when the bosss wife
asks you to play cards, you go.
I don't have to jump every time
Connie or Tony snaps their fingers.
I don't know what's wrong with you lately.
All the other guys, their wives get along.
Tommy and Rose invite us to dinner.
You lie to them.
They used to be your friends.
Now you can't stand them?
That makes me look bad.
How am I to get ahead in the family?
Same way you always have.
Lie, cheat, steal, kill.
Very funny. Youre a comedian now, huh?
I should get you on fuckin Star Search.
- Mom, I have to go to the bathroom.
- Hey, hey.
Come here. I do not want you takin
money from those kids any more.
- It was Tony Juniors idea!
- Oh! What, that makes it OK?
- You playing three-card monte again?
- Yeah.
- How much you take from them?
- 12 bucks.
- Not bad.
- Thanks, Dad.
Thanks, Frankie.
I'm trying to teach him something.
He's only a kid.
- What are you looking for?
- My revolver. Where is my revolver?
- Here, Dad.
- Joey, give me that!
- Go to your room, Joey.
- Come on, Lucky!
Thank you, Joey.
That's great, Frank. That's really great.
It's not loaded, Angela.
- I can't believe it.
- I'll keep it locked up from now on.
It's not just the gun, Frank. It's everything.
It's this whole life.
Your life is so bad?
You have a beautiful house,
plenty of money, a great kid,
a husband who loves you.
What more do you want?
I want a normal life. I'm sick and tired
of the gambling, the guns,
bailing you outa jail, never knowing
when or if you're gonna come home.
Look at this place! Everything we wear,
everything we own, fell of a truck!
Sh! Take it easy, baby.
I don't think you're making much sense.
When I look at this house, I see
a swell house with beautiful furnishings.
When I go up in Joeys room,
I see all the things we give him.
Things you and I never had
when we was growin up.
Frankie, don't you get it?
Everything has blood on it.
I don't have to sit here
and listen to this garbage!
- Neither do I!
- No?
- No!
- No? What are you gonna do about it?
- I want a divorce!
-
Listen to Dr de Marco
for just a second, darling, all right?
You go upstairs, you take a Valium.
You lie down, relax.
You'll feel a lot beter. All right, darling?
Well, well, well.
What have we here?
It's Nick The Snake and
his two nephews, Al The Worm and...
Dont tell me. Vinnie The Slug.
Your common, garden-variety hoodlums.
Ah! And speak of the devil,
Cucumber Frank de Marco.
Bang!
The gangs all here, Mike.
Everyone except Tony The Tiger Russo.
I tried to play all the keys...
Hey, heres Tony
The Tiger
And I don't mind tellin you folks
From this mike here
It's Tony, hey, Tony,
no phoney baloney
The Tiger
Yeah, he's the paisan
the sun always shines on
He's Tony The Tiger
- Excuse me, Mr Russo.
- Sure.
- John, John.
- Tony.
- The Chteau Lichine is comin in.
- It's pre-Chernobyl, I hope.
Hey, fellas!
Butch. Nick.
Tom? Some glasses
and an order for you.
Tony.
Frank.
Yeah.
- Hows Angela and the kid?
- They're both very good. Thank you.
- Ive got something for you here.
- Oh, thanks very much, Tony.
That was a great job
that you did on the train.
Well, it was a beautiful ride, Tony.
Go take care of the guys upstairs.
I'll be right up.
The same
The same melody
Somebody tell me
what's been happening to me lately
Tell me what the heck is goin wrong
- Table for two, gentlemen?
- Yeah.
This way, please.
- My God, Tony! It's beautiful.
- Youre beautiful.
I am gonna have to do something
very special for you tonight.
You twisted my arm. The Fantasia.
- Our old room. 17.
- Room 17.
- Uh, duh... Twelve past ten.
- Ten past.
Yeah, ten past twelve.
- 2am. Quitin time.
- All right.
But you did miss a good dinner,
to tell you the truth.
- You know Rosies chicken francese?
- With the ricota?
Correct.
Madonna.
Shells with sauce.
With cannoli afterwards.
- What, are you stayin?
- Yeah, I'm gonna take a bath before I go.
Is... somethin wrong, Tone?
Yeah.
You shouldnt smoke in bed.
Youre gonna start a fire.
Tony, it's a water bed.
OK, I gota go. Gimme a kiss.
Oh... Thanks.
Forget about it.
You go straight home now, lollipop.
Hmm...
Frank?
Frank, you're early!
My God!
Put this over there.
Karen?
Karen?
Karen!
Save me some soap, Karen,
because I'm feeling extra dirty tonight.
Rub-a-dub-dub!
Tony, I had no idea
you was putin the stones to Karen.
It's checkout time, Frankie.
Oh, Tony, this blows my mind!
- I loved you like a father.
- You disappointed the shit out of me.
Go away.
Downey.
I'm there.
- Special Agent Downey, FBI.
- Let him by.
Yesterday The Fat Man buys a one-way
ticket on the Long Island railroad.
19 hours later,
Cucumber Frank de Marco takes a bath.
It looks like payback time.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
The place is clean.
I don't know, sir. Doesnt add up.
You got a beter make on it?
The late Karen Lutnick
was Tony Russos girlfriend.
No shit.
Maybe Frank was indiscreet. They don't
call him The Cucumber for nothing.
Karen was a real dish.
Tony finds out Franks eating of his plate.
Tonys got a temper.
A man gets angry, he gets sloppy.
Maybe The Tiger did it himself.
- That's murder one.
- Two counts. We could hang him.
Put me back on 24-hour surveillance.
I'll nail Tony for the murders
of Frank de Marco and Karen Lutnick.
Let us pray for our brother
to our Lord Jesus Christ, who said:
I am the resurrection and the life.
The man who believes in me
will live even if he dies.
Frank... My baby...
- We know that he will raise up...
- Such a good boy.
We commend our brother to the Lord.
May the Lord receive him into his peace
and raise up his body
on the last day. Amen.
- Frank! I'm coming with you!
- Mama!
Mama, no! Mama!
They found them in the tub... naked.
- What goes around comes around.
- Here she comes.
- Youse don't have to clean up.
- Angela, sh! Just be quiet, OK?
- Thanks, you guys. I appreciate this.
- What are friends for?
And we are your friends, Angela,
whether you like it or not.
I'm, um... I'm gonna go
check on my mother-in-law.
Poor kid.
She's been through a lot.
- You liar!
- No, it's true!
- Liar!
- No, it's true!
Come on, Tony. Give him a shot!
Hey! The two of youse knock it of!
All right, stop this fight! What is this?
Tony, get up. Get of. Get up!
Get in the house. Go on, hurry up!
- You all right, Joey?
- My nose is bleeding.
Let me see that.
That's nothing. That's nothing.
- Are you OK?
- Mm.
You two just stay away
from each other today, OK?
Go on.
Thank you so much, Tony.
Thank you so much.
So, Angela... How are you?
How are you holdin up, huh?
I don't know... I'm...
Yeah, I'm OK. I'm OK. Yeah.
Now, look...
I wanna reassure you, Angela.
Youre not gonna be alone.
I'm gonna take care of you.
I really appreciate that, Tony.
I really do, but...
Angela...
I wanna help you.
Oh, you're so sweet.
Thanks.
Oh, Angela...
Holy shit! The grieving widow!
Keep your hands of me.
Bingo!
Ma, what are we gonna do now?
I don't know, hon.
I just don't know.
Attention, shoppers! Sprint to
the deli counter, where pizza is on sale
for the next 30 minutes only.
- Hi, Rose.
- Hi, Angela.
Angela!
Connie.
Weight Watchers, huh?
You worried about your figure?
- Some of us are.
- Cute.
Joan Rivers Junior, huh?
You know, Angela,
sometimes when a girl gets single,
she starts thinking about
goin out with other giris guys.
Connie, I am not interested in Tony.
Everybody is interested in Tony.
You beter call it of, because
if I ever catch you two together...
I... I...
Just forget about it!
Try keepin Tony on a leash!
I think you'll find one in aisle 5!
Oh, yeah? While I'm there,
I'll pick you up a flea collar!
Angela, watch your ass!
- Will that be spiced or regular?
- Spiced.
OK. Comin right up.
Die! Die, earthling!
Joey...
- Where did you get that?
- Uncle Tony gave it to me.
- Uncle Tony?
- He gave me this, too. A $100 bill!
- He bought some stuf for you, too!
- Oh, yeah?
Ta-da!
Die!
Joey, stop it!
What's the mater, Ma?
Joey...
Tony is not your uncle. He's not a relative.
And I don't want you
taking presents from him any more.
Can I keep the Lazer Tag stuf?
No. Sorry.
Run upstairs and do your homework.
OK.
Because I care.
- Your receipts, Mrs de Marco.
- Mm-hm, mm-hm.
Your generosity is overwhelming.
Here - the pink slip to the car, and
the address where to pick it up tonight.
God bless you, Mrs de Marco.
Forget about it. Oh, after tonight...
- Yes?
- Lose that address.
- Ready, big guy?
- Let's go, Mom.
OK. Here we go.
- Mm. Whos the bimbo?
- Angela de Marco.
The former
Miss Angela Maria Gianelli.
Daughter of Dominick and Catherine,
both deceased.
Mother of Joseph Francis, age seven.
Subject graduated
Bayside High School, Queens, 1978.
Atended one semester
Robert Ren Beauty Academy.
College education - none.
- Favourite vegetable?
- Cucumber.
- Favourite animal?
- Tiger.
What? Cucumber Frank de Marcos
widow is screwing Tony Russo?
- That's what Tonys wife thinks.
- I don't get it. How does Connie fit in?
From my observation, sir, Connie is
the one person who Tony actively fears.
Who knows why,
but it borders on the pathological.
Subject married
Francis Aloysius de Marco, May 15, 1979.
The key is Angela de Marco.
I say we tap her phone, her house,
her bedroom. Stake her out.
Scope her, tail her, coming and going,
and we catch Tony The Tiger
with his pants down.
Not bad, Downey. Get the bitch.
- Why is she stoppin here, Ed?
- I don't know.
OK. Go on in.
Come on.
Mom, we can't live here.
I told you this is all
we can aford right now, Joey.
Things are gonna be tough for a while.
Whoo!
I'm gonna get a good job, we'll save
some money, and we'll find a nicer place.
Were gonna lead a good life that we can
be proud of. That's what maters now.
OK, but this place really sucks.
Yeah, I know. Let's go down
and unload the car, OK?
What's that thing
in the middle of that room?
A bathtub.
- Why is it in the kitchen?
- I'll tell you later.
Happy birthday
To you
- Blow em out now!
- Make a wish!
I got a wish.
Oooh!
Blow out the candles!
- Carlo, the door.
Honey, cut the cake. I'll be right back.
Oh, thank you, sweetie.
Where did she go?
Tony, she moved into some shithole on
the Lower East Side. Heres the address.
- What the he'lls she doin' there?
- Beats me.
Tony, it's in a hell of a place.
I wouldnt have a dog live there.
- It's falling apart.
- It's that bad.
It's a dangerous neighbourhood.
Did you remember
that orange notebook on the couch?
Mm-hm.
- Ma, I wanna go in that way!
- Joey, I don't... I don't think... OK, OK.
- Mom, don't worry about me.
- OK, OK.
All right, I'm gonna pick you up
right here at three oclock. OK?
Good luck.
Be-e-e-e-e goo-oo-oo-ood.
Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.
- Scusa.
- Wait a minute!
Excusez-moi. This is my stop.
Hey!
What the hell are you doin', dorkface?
Hi! Can I help you with something?
I'm not sure you're the person
I should talk to.
I'm here about your advertisement in the
newspaper, about the cosmetics position.
I'm sorry. They already hired somebody.
Youve got to get here really early.
I'm just a travelling stranger
On my way...
Hello, sweetie. How are you today?
Oh... I can't find a job.
Go to Chicken Lickin right next door.
They got a sign in the window.
- Right here.
- Yeah?
Thank you.
- You have a good day.
- You too.
- Good luck.
- Thank you.
Ive never worked in a restaurant before.
But I'm a hard worker and I learn real fast.
Good.
Let's try this uniform on,
and then we'll see how things look.
OK.
- You can change in here.
- OK.
For privacy.
Furthermore, I'll lock the door.
- Thank you.
- Youre welcome.
Oh!
Oh, shoot.
It's OK.
Oh, miss?
You are a real lowlife, mister.
You know that?
Young lady, one moment.
Maam, please! Please!
Gimme back my uniform!
- What?
- Gimme back my uniform.
Drop dead, dirt bag!
You tell him, honey!
Get that man another milk shake.
- Whoa...
Hey, Lucky...
- Shoot!
Tiptoes Mazzilli and Johnny King
got knocked of last night.
Gee, this is a shithole.
- Hey!
- Watch where you're...
That's all right, Tommy. Sorry.
Pick up his bag for him, Tommy.
I oughta be more careful.
I'm, uh... dangerous on the road!
Yeah. A regular menace to society.
Yeah, well, see you later, pal.
What a jerk.
Fuckin dickhead!
It's all right. Tom! Here - 41.
No...
No, up!
Come on, come on, come on.
- You comin' out?
- Uh... No, I'm goin' up.
Oh, sorry.
Uh, could you, uh... press 5, please?
Boy... Ive really got you trapped in here.
Are you sure you're OK?
No, I'm... I'm fine, thanks.
I found it on the street. I couldn't resist.
You probably want to strip it
before you put any kind of finish on it.
Oh... Oh.
- You live here?
- Uh...
- Yes.
- Really? Me too.
- I'm Angela de Marco.
- Oh, uh...
I'm Mike, uh, Smith.
Nice to meet you.
I'm 41. What number are you?
- It's 4. It's you.
- Thanks.
Well, I'm sorry I... Nice meeting you, Mike.
- There you go.
- Sorry.
- Guess I'll see you around.
- Bye.
Thanks for the tip.
Excuse me.
- Angela!
- Angie, wow! Glad we caught you.
So, howd you guys know where I live?
Oh.
Yeah. The new place. Well...
It needs a litle bit of work, Angela.
But, you know...
You fix it up right, itll be great.
Yeah, I think so.
We got you some olive oil,
some beautiful tomatoes.
That smoked mozzarella you like,
half a dozen bagels.
- We even got a few household items.
- You really shouldnt have.
You know, Angela,
we miss Frank a hell of a lot.
- And we miss you, too.
- That's right, Angela.
Were still your family. We always will be.
Oh!
You guys, I gota get goin. I...
OK. we'll walk you down.
Rosie wants you to come to dinner
next week. Say, Thursday? Friday?
- Oh, I, uh...
- Any night.
Gee, Tommy, I'm so busy with the move
and getin set up and everything...
And I don't even know if we'll stay here.
Why don't I call you when I'm setled?
Sure, I understand.
- Say hi to Rose for me.
- Of course I will.
Everybody misses you so much.
we'll see you real soon, OK?
Ci vediamo, cara.
Excuse me.
- Hello, gorgeous.
- Hi. I'm Angela.
- I'm Rita. How you doin'?
- Hi, Rita. I'm fine.
I'm looking for a job.
I saw your sign in the window.
What can you do?
Well, I went to the, uh...
Robert Ren Beauty Academy.
Well, I didn't graduate.
But I can clean,
I can answer phones, I do windows.
And I live right across the street.
And, uh...
I'm willing to try anything.
Please give me a chance.
Almost there.
- You like it?
- Yeah, I think so. It's...
Boy, it's short, huh?
- Well, it's a haircut.
- No, I like it. It's...
- I think it's short.
- It looks great on you.
- Thank you.
- Youre welcome. See you tomorrow.
Thank you so much
for the haircut, the job...
- You won't be disappointed.
- I hope not.
- Bye-bye. See you tomorrow.
- Thanks, Rita.
Next victim.
Um... Note to myself.
Run a make on the black chick.
Oh, God!
Jeez, you scared me.
- Hey, I thought you lived upstairs.
- I do. I'm a plumber.
I got of on the wrong floor.
They all look the same.
Are you OK?
No. I, uh... Not really. Uh...
Ive got this, uh... flu.
I oughta get to bed.
Listen. Ive got some great
12-hour cold tablets.
- Why don't I get them for you?
- Uh... No! Um...
This is like... a 24-hour bug.
It's very kind of you.
OK.
- You didn't notice my hair.
- Um...
No, I did.
What do you think?
It's a brand-new you.
Thanks... I think.
Take care of yourself.
Drink plenty of fluids.
Thanks for the advice!
Ma, can I stay over
at David's house Friday night?
- I don't know, hon.
- Please. Davids mother will be there.
OK. Friday night will be OK.
Woof, woof, woof.
Promotion in this for the both of us.
I ran into her twice today.
She seems so... nice, Ed.
I just can't figure it out, you know.
The move, this place...
- The job hunt.
-
Hi, Mike.
Here are those... 12-hour cold tablets
I was... You know, just in case.
Jeez, um...
I feel beter already. Must have
just been a six-hour bug. But thanks.
Mike, would you like
to go out on a date with me?
You know, if you want to.
You know, just dinner or, uh...
Uh, yeah. Sure.
Great!
Um...
How about Friday night?
Friday night sounds great.
- Great!
- Hey, Ma!
- Hey! Howd you know where I was?
- I followed your voice.
Some detective!
Mike, this is my son Joey.
- Hiya, Joey.
- Hi.
Mom, did the cavemen
kill all the dinosaurs?
Gee, hon... I don't know.
It's... a litle before my time.
Actually, Joey,
the dinosaurs were dead millions
of years before humans showed up.
In fact, if the worid were 24 hours old,
the dinosaurs would
have lived in the last hour,
and the humans would have lived
less than two seconds of that 24th hour.
Mike, you blow my mind.
Hey, big guy,
have you started your homework?
- No.
- I didn't think so.
Why don't you run down and start your
homework? I'll be down in a few minutes.
Youre really good with kids. Do you
have any? Youre not married, are you?
Angela, if I were married,
would I accept a date with you?
No, I guess not. Neither am I.
Well, I was, but he's dead.
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, no. Dont be.
Well, I'll get outa your hair.
- So, uh, I'll see you Friday night.
- See you there.
- OK. About eight?
- Eight o'clock.
OK.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Bingo!
- Prety wild, huh?
- It's very nice.
This is some kind of punch.
I can't pronounce the name.
What shall we toast?
Oh, I know. Here's to elevators.
You meet the nicest people in them.
So where to?
- Well, I could use a little snack.
- The usual?
You read my mind.
Tell the boys behind us.
All right.
Hello.
- Are you hungry, boys?
- I thought you'd never ask.
Good. Were going to Burger Worid.
- Alka-Seltzer Worid.
- You don't like Burger Worid?
Drive up to the clown
It's a Burger Worid town
We-bee-de, we-dee-de-de-de
The fries are crispy,
the shakes are creamy
The Double Continental
with cheese is dreamy
Charred, roting flesh
aint my idea of a good meal.
Jeez, Vinnie...
Oh, shit! Butch!
It's a Burger Worid town
No! No! My feet!
Bonjour! 'Hola! Willkommen! 'Howdy!
May I take your order?
Yeah, I'd like two Double Continental
cheeseburgers and, uh... two fries.
- Two chocolate shakes.
- Merci! Gracias! Danke! Thanks!
- Rings!
- Oh, yeah. Rings.
Could you add on, please,
two orders of onion rings?
You bet.
That'll be $8.20, gentlemen.
Take out for the car in back of us.
Keep $5 for yourself.
- Thanks very much.
- And extra ketchup!
You got it.
That's a new clown.
- Tommy, let's get the fuck outa here!
- Dont.
The clown.
I don't care if you have to
send fuckin telegrams.
Some clown just tried to kill me.
I want a sit-down in Miami in 36 hours.
I want mediation.
Were gonna setle this bullshit
once and for all.
Once you have found him,
never let him go, hey!
Once you have found him,
never let him go, hey!
Once you have found him,
never let him go
Oh!
So, uh... what are you drinkin?
- What've you got?
- Not a lot. Uh...
Well, you have a choice of Caf Lolita,
or tequila, or crme de menthe.
You don't happen to have a club soda?
Yeah. It's in the fridge.
Um... You wanna get it?
I'll be right back.
Night, Lucky.
- I see you found everything.
- No problem.
Why don't you take your coat of
and stay a while?
Sounds like a fantastic idea.
- Once you have found him
- Never let him go
I really... I really liked that band.
Their music is kinda strange. I like it.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
This is really good club soda.
Would you rub my feet?
They're killing me.
Um...
I think I, uh...
I'm actually prety good at this.
Yeah?
I just gota get ahold of
one of these nerves in here...
Ooh! Ow!
Oh, God...
Oh...
Oh, God! Dont stop. That feels great.
I can't remember the last time
a man touched me below the waist.
- I can't believe I said that.
-
Mike, I'm sorry...
- Whoa!
-
- Hey!
- Oh, God!
- I'll just, uh... use the bathroom.
- It's right there.
- You must think I'm so crude.
- Are you kidding? It's just club soda.
Joey?
Guess whos here, Tone!
- Connie...
- Guess whos here, babycakes! Come on!
This is your life! Tony!
- Tony!
- Connie, Tony is not here.
Tone!
What a fuckin dump.
- What do you want, Connie?
- Where is he? I know he's here!
- No ones here.
- Oh, yeah?
What do you call these?
- Glasses?
- I'll remember you said that!
Your hair looks like shit!
- Please...
- I'm here, Tony!
Connie, you're making a big mistake.
Tony!
See?
This is my neighbour Mike.
This is my friend... Connie.
Whose husband are you, dorkface?
Gee, I, uh, don't know.
Whose husband are you lookin for?
- Mine.
- Oh.
- I guess I got you on the wrong night.
- Get out! And stay out of my life!
Look, I fight for what's mine.
I make no apologies.
You can call me a ball-buster,
but it's just the way I am!
Keep away from Tony!
You all right?
It doesn't mater.
What the hell was I thinkin?
I'm such a jerk.
I thought I could start a new life.
Gave away everything we had.
Cut all our ties to the past.
Dragged Joey away from all his friends.
Be good - look where it got us.
All for nothing.
We'll never get away from them.
And the funniest part of all...
I wasn't even thinkin' of guys,
and then I meet you and...
If you knew what I...
what I thought about us and...
That's prety pathetic.
I mean, let's face it.
They're never gonna leave me alone.
The ball-buster...
is Mrs Tony Russo.
Recognise the name?
The Russo crime family?
Well, my husband worked for Tony.
And he was iced.
And Tonys been trying
to screw me ever since.
So... God, I hate them.
Um...
Jeez...
I really, uh... misjudged you.
I'm sorry.
It was nice knowing you.
Bye.
Angela.
I, uh...
Hey.
- Ive got some things I have to say to you.
- You do, huh?
Goddamn it!
It's not easy to turn your life around.
Especially when your past
keeps coming back to haunt you.
What makes you so smart?
Well, I, uh... guess I know you
beter than you think I do.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
We all make mistakes.
The important thing is to realise it
and to do something about it.
And to let yourself of the hook,
because everybody
deserves a second chance.
They do?
Especially someone like you.
That's the nicest thing
anyones ever said to me.
- Let's go, Mike!
Open up, Romeo!
- Whos that?
- That's my... friend. I gota get to work.
- Your friend?
- I'll call you later!
- Mike, is everything OK?
- Yeah, everythings fine.
Wakey, wakey! Eggs and bacie!
Let's get goin'!
- Ed!
- Ah!
- How long we been on the Russo case?
- 14 months. Next question?
- When did you last play hide the salami?
- Classified. Next?
- Utilise a fun bag?
- Back of. Classified. Next question?
14 months down the tubes
because your sausage gets lonely.
Negative. We treed the wrong possum.
Angela's innocent.
I don't know about you any more,
Downey. I just don't know.
Your brains on hold.
Youre thinking with your dick.
Maybe you're burned out. Fried.
In over your head.
Maybe you need a vacation.
Maybe not.
I don't know, Downey.
I just don't... know.
Three words, gentlemen: Get Tony Russo.
4.30... Tuesday. Rita.
You got it. OK, bye-bye.
- Hello, gorg...
- Angela de Marco?
- Yeah.
FBI. You wanna come downtown with us?
- What the hell is goin' on here?
- Rita Harcourt?
Immigration and Naturalization.
You gota come downtown with me.
Who the hell you think you is,
tellin us to come downtown?
Mike, what are you doing here?
Angela, you'd, uh... beter sit down.
Mrs de Marco,
I'm Regional Director Franklin.
This is Special Agent Benitez.
You already know Special Agent Downey.
Downey?
Youre FBI?
Weve had you
under surveillance for some time.
Surveillance? Is that what you call it?
Surveillance for what?
- For starters, traficking in stolen goods.
- What are you talking about?
You donated quite a bit of furniture
to charity. Very generous.
- Unfortunately, most of it was hot.
- Oh... Gimme a break!
That's three to five years, Angela.
I also have a report from the IRS.
Something about undeclared income
and defrauding the government.
That's an additional 10 to 15
in a federal pen.
- Frankie always took care of the taxes.
- You signed the returns.
Then theres the mater of your husbands
death. We know who killed him.
Tony?
And we know who helped.
What is this? Where did you get this?
Youre in deep shit, Angela.
And sos your friend.
She's being deported.
She'll be under a palm tree
opening coconuts by the end of the week.
You sleazy sons of bitches.
- Unless you play ball.
- You people work just like the Mob!
- Theres no diference!
- Theres a big diference, Mrs de Marco.
The Mob is run by murdering,
lying, cheating psychopaths.
We work for the President
of the United States of America.
- Go to hell.
- Let's stop playing games, Angela.
We can have you arrested and put in jail.
You'll be declared an unfit mother,
and Joey will end up in a foster home.
- Hold it, Franklin!
- Shut up, Downey!
- You can't... you can't do that.
- Just you watch us.
The meeting is all set.
Everyone is gonna be there.
I'm havin' a travel agent
bring over the tickets.
I'm handling the security myself.
I don't see any problems.
That's real good, Uncle Joe.
Oh, by the way, theres a, uh...
Mrs de Marco waitin to see you.
- She's here now?
- Yeah.
- Well, have her come in, Uncle Joe.
- Right.
Hey, fellas.
Evaporate for five minutes, will ya?
You got it, boss.
- Angela.
- Hi.
Well, look what the cat dragged in.
Come on, sit down.
- It's terrible about Tommy.
- Yeah.
Yeah, first it was Frankie,
and now Tommy.
Hows Rosie taking it?
Rosie took a months supply of Valium
this morning. She's at Mercy Hospital.
Oh, God...
Frankly, I'm a litle surprised you're here.
Yeah. I know.
Um...
I don't know. When I saw
the newspaper this morning,
all these feelings came over me and...
You know, I just...
I just feel really lost and...
well, you know, I just, uh...
I wanted to see you.
Get outa here.
You really scared me
the day of the funeral.
You don't realise the efect
you have on a woman.
Youre a very powerful guy, Tony.
Dont bullshit me, Angela.
You don't get it, do you?
Well, I didn't expect you to.
- I'll see you around.
- Hold it right there.
What?
Are you bein straight with me?
No, I came all the way out here
just to pull your chain.
Well, you know something?
I almost believe you.
Heres your itinerary, Anthony. Youre...
Youre goin out on Eastern. 8am.
Thank you, Uncle Joe.
Where you goin?
Miami.
- Bye, Mom!
- Love you!
Tony! Tony! Tone!
Boarding flight 17,
nonstop service to Miami, gate 32.
Yeah, that's it. All right,
we got a minute. Let's park it here.
I'll double-check the tickets.
- I'm gonna go freshen up.
- Oh, OK. Yeah, you got time.
- Have a safe trip, miss!
- Thank you.
Leave me alone!
Holy shit! Nick!
- I'm way ahead of you, boss.
- I don't believe this one!
- Connie!
- Thank God I got here in time!
- What's wrong, huh?
- You forgot to say goodbye to me!
- You forgot to say goodbye to me, baby!
- Oh! You were fast asleep.
- I kissed you goodbye.
- You should have woken me up.
Baby, I know Ive been hard on you lately,
but I had this awful dream,
and I realised Ive been awfully selfish.
Nah, come on...
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
Eastern Airlines flight 17,
nonstop to Miami, is now boarding
at gate 1 for rows 1 through 5.
- Please forgive me, baby!
- Dont be silly, Connie.
No, no. Ive got a confessin to make.
Angela! Come on.
The other night when you didn't come
home on time, I got a litle suspicious.
- I'm so ashamed. I went to Angela's.
- You went to Angela's?
I couldn't help it, baby.
I had to see if you were with her.
Just thinkin about you with that slut,
I just... I got... I went crazy!
I couldn't stand it!
Tony, if I had found you
banging that broad,
I woulda hunted you down like an animal.
It would have been slow and painful.
You would have begged me
for mercy, baby.
- I was so far gone...
- Connie...
Youre talkin crazy.
I gota get on the plane.
The point is, I'm so ashamed, baby, for
not trusting you, is what I'm trying to say.
Especially when I saw
the schmuck Angela was with!
- What schmuck?
- Just some schmuck!
Come on. Get on your plane.
Boy, she didn't waste any time, did she?
- Get on the plane, you maniac!
- Yeah, OK.
Tone! I'm gonna be the best wife to you.
OK, honey. See you.
OK. Bye-bye.
- Hi.
- Oh, God!
I hope that didn't shake you up
too much back there.
- No. I'm OK.
- Good.
- Champagne, sir?
- Thank you.
Heres to, uh...
Heres to the mystery of life.
We have a lot to learn
about each other, Angela.
Hello, front desk. How are you, honey?
Beautiful. You have a reservation
for Mr Anthony Russo?
Beautiful again. This is Mrs Russo.
I'm gonna join my husband.
Listen. I want you to move us
into the honeymoon suite.
Now, I want champagne. I want caviar.
I want flowers.
I want the room to swim in flowers.
And I wonder if you could...
Excuse me, honey?
He already has the honeymoon suite?
- We have a flight leaving in 45 minutes...
- Just gimme the fuckin' ticket, dickhead.
Welcome to the Real Worid
by Jane Child
Let the worid see
Let yourself be
Love each other
Just like you and me
Somethings got to give
Better sooner than later
Welcome to
To the real worid...
Wow!
- Nick, check us in, will ya?
- Right, boss.
Oh, look. A piano bar...
- Is something wrong?
- No.
No, nothings wrong.
Are you sure?
Um...
A regular menace to society.
Especially when I saw
the schmuck Angela was with.
- Hi, boss.
- Yo, boss.
Stevarino, Al. I wanna talk to you.
- Angela, I'll be right with you.
- OK.
Somebody tell me
what's been happening to me lately...
- Can I get you a drink, sir?
- Yeah, club soda. Thanks.
Hello, Mama. Homeboy. Target skybound.
Remember - look, but don't touch.
Youre the eyes, we're the brains.
Dont make a move without my say-so.
You got it, Downey?
Downey!
Roger, Mama. Loud and clear.
Hey!
- Pal, what are you drinkin?
- Thanks, guys, but I gota...
You gota what? You gota relax!
I can see you're on your own
and you're bored. So are we.
- Hey, what's your name anyway?
- Mike.
- Mike Smith.
- Oh, Mike Smith!
- I'm Nick Jones. This is my nephew Al.
- Hows it goin, pal?
If I could buy my Uncle Nick
for what he's worth
and then sell him for what he thinks
he's worth, I'd be a billionaire!
I'll give him a beatin.
Here you go.
Wow!
Meetings in one hour, boss.
Get New York on the horn
for me, Stevarino.
Right away.
Huh? Huh?
Huh? Huh?
Ladies and gentlemen,
I would like to welcome you to Miami.
The captain has asked that you remain
in your seats until we reach the terminal.
Madam, please!
Honey, forget about it.
Got something for you.
Open it up.
Oh, Tony, it's beautiful.
Well...
I thought you deserved
something real special.
So do you, Tone.
- What's that? For me?
- Yeah.
You litle devil!
Your hands are trembling.
I'm scared shitless, Tony.
I didn't expect this of you, Angela.
It's magnificent.
- You like it?
- Like it?
Like it? Are you kiddin? Here, put it on.
Look at that! Look!
Look how it picks up the light.
Yeah.
That's not all it picks up, Tony.
Grand jury time, Tony.
Director Franklin, Jimmy Fisheggs
just arrived. The gondola.
Clear, Rene.
Mr James Roe.
The partys shapin up nicely.
Come on, Tony. Get your ass into gear
and get over here.
- Stevarino, I'll get it.
- OK, boss.
Come on in, fellas.
- Whos your friend?
- Tony, meet Mike Smith.
A lonely guy from Dubuque. A great guy.
A one-man party
in search of the right crowd.
- I knew you guys had to meet.
- You did the right thing, Nick.
It's fabulous to meet you, Mr Smith. Great
to hook up with another party animal.
I think it's Nick and Al here
who are the real animals!
What the hell is he up to now?
- I admire your moustache.
- Well, thank you very much.
- Angela?
- Yeah?
Come over here and meet
Mike Smith from Doobook.
Hi. I'm Mike Smith from Dubuque.
- Hello, Mr Smith.
- It's fabulous to meet you, Angela.
- Thank you.
- It's fabulous to meet all of you!
Let's take a seat, Mike.
- Come on!
- Thanks.
- Sit down, Mr Smith.
- OK.
Jeez, uh...
It's a wild spread you got here.
Hey, I realise you're busy. I'll, uh...
Agh!
Fellas.
Frisk him, Stevarino.
- Watch him, Nick.
- You got it, Steve.
Hold it, hold it!
Make another move
and I'll blow your brains out.
Well, looky here, boss. Only a lighter.
How very interesting.
Tony?
Um...
You know, hon...
This is none of my business. I totally
don't even know what's going on here.
But I think it's geting a litle out of hand.
You beter stay out of this, miss.
Check out this here.
- Who the fuck are you?
- Federal Bureau of Investigation, Tony.
Youre all under arrest. If you got
about 14 hours, I'll read you the charges.
I can see the headlines in the morning.
FBI hothead shoots love-nest girlfriend.
- What the...?
- Freeze!
Freeze. Any of youse move
and I'll blow his fucking head of!
Go ahead.
- I'm not kidding, Tony!
- It's all over, Tony!
The place is crawling with cops!
FBI, DEA, Treasury!
- Angela.
- What?
Be careful. Very, very careful.
- Dont!
- OK. OK. OK.
Angela, you're a very excitin woman.
For some crazy reason, I think
I'd rather kill myself than hurt you.
- But suicides out of the question.
- Oh, yeah?
Just like you hurt my husband? Just like
you killed Frankie, you lying bastard?
Boss, is that bitch tellin the truth?
- Chill out. Chill out!
- That's right, buddies.
Tell em, Tony! Say it loud and clear
so we can get it on tape!
The whole place is bugged.
The chairs, the lamps, the paintings!
Any second now, 50 agents
are gonna pound at that door!
- Ah, bullshit.
-
That's it, Tony.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say
can and will be used against you.
- Shut the fuck up, fuzzball!
-
- I'll get it.
- You have the right to an atorney.
Angela, stay...!
Get your dicks out of your hands, guys!
If you cannot aford an atorney...
- Mike, it's your old buddy Al...
- Shut up!
Agh! Connie!
Con?
Oh, my God! Tony, it's Connie!
Why are you here, dorkface?
I came to tell your husband
to keep his hands of of my woman!
Connie, don't listen to him. He's a cop.
And Angela is workin with him.
Honeymoon suite...
Connie, look. She gave me a ring, see?
But it's got a bug in it, Connie. A bug! Can
you believe that? How about that shit?
I got nothin to live for any more, Tone.
Of course you do. That's ridiculous.
Think of Tony Junior!
All your credit cards, honey...
All right, Connie. Let's think.
You got your game shows, honey!
You got, uh... Wheel of Fame!
Agh!
Connie, that was... that was close.
Watch your back, Uncle Nick!
Take him out!
You...
Gee, Mike. You didn't have to do that.
Now, Connie...
Connie, honey, I'm gonna change.
You certainly will.
FBI! Drop it, Connie!
- Hold it, Tony!
- Screw you!
- Fuck!
- Tony Russo,
you're under arrest for the murders
of Frank de Marco and Karen Lutnick.
You'll never make it stick.
- Sure, Tony.
- Come on, boys.
- Tony, what did you tell them?
- I'm sorry. I can't talk about it.
- How are the Feds treatin you?
- Not bad. I get to watch all my soaps.
The food must be good.
You put on some weight.
- It's probably the bulletproof vest.
-
Are you afraid someone
will knock you of?
Afraid? With these gorillas around me,
I feel safer than a virgin
at a eunuch convention.
Say, Robert. Excuse me. Would you mind
if I stepped in and took a leak?
- Go ahead.
- Youre a gentleman.
Oh, the fries are crispy,
the shakes are creamy
The Double Continental
with cheese is dreamy
It's a Burger Worid town
Hiya, Tone.
Connie?
Kiss it goodbye!
No...
Holy Mary, mother of God!
Oh, shit!
- Another bad dream, huh?
- Uh, yeah. I guess you could say that.
Time to get up anyway.
Todays your big day.
Cant keep the grand jury waitin.
Angela, you are an artist!
- Great. You like it?
- I love it.
Here. You keep the change on this, OK?
- Thank you.
- Youre welcome.
Next victim!
- Hello, Gorgeous.
- 'Hello, gorgeous. 'Hi.
- Oh, it's you.
- Listen, please don't hang up again.
Angela, look out the window.
Look across the street.
- Give me a break. What do you want?
- Uh... A haircut?
- Boy, you don't give up too easy, Mike.
- Not when it come to you, Angela.
Sure. I suppose I could squeeze you in.
I see your arm is all healed. Lay back.
OK.
Uh...
You know, Angela... Ive been thinking...
Mm. Well, there you go.
Workin without tools again.
You know, Ive been thinking, too.
You know...
I fell for you like a ton of bricks.
I bared my soul to you.
I trusted you. You lied to me.
Then... you almost had me killed.
But...
I can't stop thinkin' about...
what you said to me
that night at my apartment.
Maybe everyone does
deserve a second chance.
Ow!
Even you.
You want one?
Yeah. I want one.
I'll think about it.
ENHOH