"Mastizaade" (King of Fun).
"Mastizaade" (King of Fun).
"When a girl cries at night..."
"...her mother says better go to sleep."
"Otherwise the Maztizaade will turn up."
"Chicks from 12 countries are looking for us..."
"...but it's impossible to catch us."
"It's impossible to lay your hands..."
"...on the Mastizaade."
"When it comes to having fun..."
"When it comes to having fun..."
"...we are the cut above the rest."
"We're the kings of fun."
"We're the Singham's of fun."
"Welcome to fun."
"Mastizaade."
"We're the kings..."
"We're the Singhams."
"We're the kings... We're the Singhams."
"Welcome to fun."
"Mastizaade."
"O Basanti...shake a leg in front of the dogs."
"O Basanti...shake a leg in front of the dogs."
"We're the kings of fun."
"We're the Singham's of fun."
"Welcome to fun."
"Mastizaade."
"I've a bungalow... I've a car."
"And I've mom's old sari to cover you up."
"Wherever we set foot..."
"...girls queue up behind us."
"When it comes to having fun..."
"When it comes to having fun..."
"...we are a cut above the rest."
"We're the kings of fun."
"We're the Singham's of fun."
"Welcome to fun."
"Mastizaade."
"We're the kings..."
"We're the Singhams."
"We're the kings... We're the Singhams."
"Welcome to fun."
"Mastizaade."
"Quiet."
"Let the world know, if we make a commitment."
"We listen to no one, even if its Dabbang Bhai."
"Service Available...24/7."
"Once you take it..."
"...we won't give you a chance to complain."
"We don't."
"When it comes to having fun..."
"When it comes to having fun..."
"...we are a cut above the rest."
"We're the kings of fun."
"We're the Singham's of fun."
"Welcome to fun."
"Mastizaade."
"We're the kings..."
"We're the Singhams."
"We're the kings... We're the Singhams."
"Welcome to fun."
"Mastizaade."
"We're the kings of fun."
"We're the Singham's of fun."
"Welcome to fun."
"Mastizaade."
"We're the kings..."
"We're the Singhams."
"We're the kings... We're the Singhams."
"Welcome to fun."
"Mastizaade."
Deep! Deep! Deep! Deep!
Hello.
Deep, why are all these girls standing in a line?
I know...they all want you to hit on them, right?
No, silly.
They all want Deep to beep them.
Beep? Meaning?
Let me explain?
You see... I care for our society.
I don't want to be a bad influence on anyone.
That's why I automatically...
...'beep' all the bad words.
For example... if I want to cuss someone.
I say...
You're such a big 'beep'.
Oh...
And you're a bigger 'beep' than him.
Why don't you both 'beep' off!
Viagra...
I mean...etcetera...etcetera.
Who are these two girls?
She's my right hand... and she's my left.
Aren't you my right hand?
Stand there.
You come here.
Don't keep changing places, I get confused.
Hold it.
So I was saying...
She's my right hand...and she's my left.
Sometimes I use my right hand... and sometimes my left.
Sometimes I use both.
Tell me something Beep... I mean Deep.
Back in college... when it came to girls...
...you were a pauper.
So how did you become a Prince now?
Not a prince... but 'Mastizaada' (king of fun).
What's 'Mastizaada'.
The world calls them rascals.
Girls say...give me more.
That's the real 'Mastizaada'.
Deep, even we want to be 'Mastizaada' like you.
Then follow this simple rule.
Always listen to your elders.
Otherwise you will always lose out...
...on the fun that's coming your way.
I see...
It was a stormy night...
...and I was dropping an old lady home.
She politely said to me...
"Son, it's raining quite heavily..."
"...why don't you sleep over tonight."
"In fact, you can sleep in Bunty's room."
And I said "Bunty".
"No Aunty, I'll sleep out here on the sofa."
And I slept on the sofa.
It was dawn soon.
Hello. Good morning.
"Talk to me."
"Yeah."
You? - I am Bunty.
"Hello..."
You...are...Bunty? - Yes.
And you are?
If you're Bunty...
...then I am a 'beep' hole.
A big 'beep' hole.
Talk to me.
Excuse me.
Mastizaadon.
Go and conquer the world.
And whenever you need me...
...you'll find your friend standing here.
At One Night Stand.
Now leave.
Don't just sit there.
Go on.
Beep off."
You dog.
I am Doctor Markholkar.
And I'm an expert in driving out...
...the sex virus that's in all of you.
Yeah!
Sex-addiction is a real problem.
And the patient is always...
...under the grasp of lust.
He always thinks of only one thing.
Sex.
And in order to save all of you...
...from this addiction, I've started this rehab.
Last week...I gave our group members homework...
...to make a report on the dangers, reasons...
...and techniques to counter sex-addiction.
And the first ones to present their reports...
...are Mr. Aditya Chotiya and Mr. Sunny Kele...
...who joined our group few weeks ago.
Wow!
Thank you.
Thank you.
The most defamed fruit in the world is apple.
History has taught us...
...that Adam and Eve were thrown out of Eden...
...because of an apple.
But the truth is... Adam got in trouble...
...because of his Banana, and not the Apple.
Yes, friends.
Banana.
Whenever a man or a woman slips...
...the reason is always a banana.
Yes!
We both follow a simple philosophy in life.
If you want to plant your sapling...
...then find a land that's ready.
Posing as fake sex-addicts and blaming the apple...
...is just an excuse.
Because the national fruit of the world...
...is a bloody banana.
I know...those who take advantage...
...of people's weakness are scoundrels.
But we're not scoundrels.
We're just...
Mastizaade!
"Mastizaade."
"Mastizaade."
"We're the kings..."
"We're the Singhams."
"Welcome to fun."
"Mastizaade."
"We're the kings..."
"We're the Singhams."
"We're the kings... We're the Singhams."
"Welcome to fun."
"Mastizaade."
"So let me come."
You're too good.
Like that...
Do it. Do it.
That photo on the table, is that your husband?
Huh!
No, sweety.
I see...then it must be your boyfriend.
I don't have a boyfriend.
Oh...that means he's your son.
I must say... you've really maintained yourself.
I don't have a son.
I get it he's your brother.
Big or small?
Sweety, I don't have a brother.
Uncle. - No.
Uncle. - No.
Then he must be your neighbour.
Correct? - Wrong.
Then whose photo is in your room?
And so close to your bed.
Sweety...that's my picture.
I had it taken before my operation.
"Mastizaade."
Oh yeah. - "Mastizaade."
Honey, I am home.
My husband's here.. - Husband.
My husband. - Husband.
Just go. - What do you mean go?
Just go... - What about my clothes?
Why are you running nude?
What the...
Do you always run naked? - Yes.
You see...I love it.
I feel very free.
Do you always run wearing a condom? - Yes...
No! Not always.
Only during the monsoons.
Monsoon?
So that it doesn't get wet.
Raincoat.
Guys, your sex life is so exciting.
It's been ages since I last had sex.
Your parents are to be blamed for it.
They named you She-kar.
What...
Since then... you've always been a shaker.
Give me few tips please.
No, silly boy.
Superman can only teach you...
...to wear your underwear over your pants.
But not how to fly.
We were born with our superpowers.
Superpowers? - Yes.
I didn't get it. - Let me explain you.
Superman has x-rays.
But we've got... chicks-ray.
Chicks-ray?
Yes.
I didn't get it again.
Wait silly boy, we'll show you a demonstration.
Yeah...
Look.
That madam's wearing pink.
And look...that one's wearing grey, top and bottom.
Wow.
See? - I don't see anything.
Hold on.
Oh my, God. Look at that.
Yes!
Grey.
Chicks-ray.
Chicks-ray.
Chicks-ray.
What powers, guys.
There's not a single girl...
...who can escape our chicks-ray and our powers.
Exactly.
There's been no one yet.
"All night long everyone just stares at you."
Hi, Chotu. - Hi.
'Baby.'
What do you want today, Chotu?
What?
What do you want today, Chotu?
Oranges. - What?
I want to squeeze the juice out of them.
It's healthy after all.
By the way, I hope I didn't disturb you.
No, no...not at all.
I was playing with my pusky.
Playing with what? - Pusky.
You like puskys, right? - I love them.
You know...small, cute...
Actually, I was on Skype with her.
Pusky.
Meow!
Well...
Here you go.
Squeeze the juice out of them properly.
Yes, I will squeeze them out properly.
By the way. - Yeah.
Please spare some time... and come home some day.
I will give you rice... and then Dal. - What?
Dal...lentil, which my mom cooks.
Ohh...okay.
Well, see you. My Pusky is calling.
Okay.
Bye, Chotu. - Bye.
Bye.
Lele...please give me.
Oh s
Come on.
Leave a message. -Oh...voicemail.
Hey, Lily. Sorry, I got up late.
So I couldn't wish you best of luck.
So...good luck.
And hold both the balls carefully.
Bye.
No one likes playing with... dirty footballs.
So how can we keep our balls clean...
...so that others love playing with them?
I'll tell you.
Finally...a product...
...that can clean y...y...your balls.
Mr. Safai's new ball cleaner.
Wow!
Why don't we start with these golf balls first?
'My chicks-ray.' - Tick-Tock..
I just love golf b...b...balls.
Wow! Amazing!
Is there anyone here...
...who wants his balls cleaned?
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!
Me! - You're quite desperate to get your balls cleaned.
Shekhar, you don't get it.
She's different from other girls.
Different? How?
My chicks-ray isn't working on her.
Mr. Safai's B...B...Balls cleaner.
Playing with clean balls is a lot more fun.
It's a cut.
Let's take some shots.
Call the hand model.
Move...
See you. Bye. - Bye.
Get the camera here.
Move fatso.
Excuse me.
Aditya. Superb.
What an idea for the campaign.
Outstanding.
I'll be right back Mr. Bossdiwaala (Asshole).
Please handle the campaign.
Aditya, when you call me Bossdiwaala (Asshole)...
...I don't like it at all.
You're my boss.
Your name's D. Wala.
What else will I call you?
Call me by my real name. Dil.
Dil?
Dil Khadawala.
My full name is Dil Khadawala.
But my surname was Khadawala...
...and people would tease me.
So I took the 'Khada' out and kept the 'Dil'.
Now I am just Dilwala. - Very Different.
Sir, I am a bit busy.
That reminds me, Aditya.
We've a new client, and they are rich.
They're coming to the office tomorrow morning...
...and where's Sunny?
Sir, he's outside drinking sugarcane juice.
Sunny's always drinking sugarcane juice.
Always...
Anyway...tomorrow...
You and Sunny, at the office.
On time.
Yes. - Yes.
Yes! - Yes, Dil.
Yeah!
Swear on my pony... what a set.
What a cute kid.
Just like his mother. - Thank you.
And anyway, his father...
...ran off after he was born.
Which fool wouldn't want to father your kids?
"O Baby."
"O Baby."
"O Baby."
"O Baby."
I wish I was 40 years younger.
I wish...I was alive.
Mummy... - My kid.
My chicks-ray.
Bring my kid down.
Bring my kid down.
Bring my kid down.
Bloody pervert, you threw him upstairs.
Get me down.
Someone get my kid down.
Lily. - Hi.
Calm down, I'll get him down.
Hold on.
He's coming down.
Hi.
Hurry up, bring him down.
Come on.
Careful. Careful. You shut up.
Are you okay?
Now lift it up. - Loser.
There was a sexy-lady draped in a sari...
Did you see her? - Yes.
She's special, I must find her.
For the first time in life, my chicks-ray didn't work.
Mine too. - Hey...she'll be my wife.
Don't say such things.
I am talking about my girl.
For the first time in life, my chicks-ray didn't work.
Where did they go?
No problem.
We'll find them if we're supposed to.
Maybe this is God's idea or His method to tell us..
"Son, before you fall hook, line and sinker..."
"...you can pop some more cherries."
Hello, friends. - Hello.
Addiction is the most dangerous hobby in the world.
And especially, when it's alcohol.
And in order to save everyone...
...from popping anything bad in their mouth.
I've given this lollypop to everyone.
We got this addiction... after our dad's death.
As soon as he passed away...
...we made our way to the bottles.
But how did he die?
Our father appointed a sexy secretary on the job.
10 days later...
...he jumped from the 14th floor of his office...
...and committed suicide.
Why? Why? Why?
Father did everything he could?
He bought a car for the secretary.
And an engagement ring worth one million.
One million?
A home worth 30 million.
And after all that happiness...
...one day father asked her..
"Listen...can we have fun."
And she said yes.
I charge 1000 for one night.
And father committed suicide.
But friends, we haven't touched alcohol for 6 months.
Very good. Wow!
But tell us... how did you two do it?
"O Baby."
We'll tell you.
Wine.. - Oh, God. Alcohol.
Why did you two bring this poison here?
This is our secret, sir.
The real test is when the bottle's in front of you...
...and you still control yourself.
And we've complete confidence.
Even though you'll be holding the bottle...
...but you'll all still control yourselves.
Even if someone uncorks the bottles...
...you will still control yourselves.
Someone will pour the alcohol in a glass...
...yet you will still control yourselves.
Someone will drop two cubes of ice in the glass.
But you will still control yourselves.
No, please...please...
"O Baby"
"O Baby"
"O Baby"
"O Baby"
"I danced too much."
"Please don't touch."
"I danced too much."
"Please don't touch."
"I am tired shaking a leg all day."
"I don't have the strength to dance anymore."
"The boys say more... more...more...more..."
"The boys...dance some more... dance some more."
"The boys say more... more...more...more..."
"The boys...dance some more... dance some more."
"The boys say more... more...more...more..."
"The boys...dance some more... dance some more."
"O Baby"
"They are high on fun."
"And starting to be shameless."
"Plug my pin in your socket."
"Charge my heart day and night."
"Plug my pin in your socket."
"Charge my heart day and night."
"No matter how much I ignore..."
"The boys say more... more...more...more..."
"The boys...dance some more... dance some more."
"The boys say more... more...more...more..."
"The boys...dance some more... dance some more."
"O Baby."
"O Baby."
"Whether in a flat or a shed."
"All they want to do is have fun."
"We're going to climb up."
"Because we're men super."
"We're going to honk the horns."
"And you ride our scooters."
"We're going to climb up."
"Because we're men super."
"We're going to honk the horns."
"And you ride our scooters."
"I am bored of these talks."
"The boys say more...
"The boys...dance some more... dance some more."
"The boys say more... more...more...more..."
"The boys...dance some more... dance some more."
"The boys say more... more...more...more..."
"The boys...dance some more... dance some more."
"The boys say more... more...more...more..."
"The boys...dance some more... dance some more."
"O Baby"
"O Baby"
Welcome. Welcome.
Ram-Ram. - Leela-Leela.
Leela? - Leela?
Not Leela...Gila (Wet).
Maybe your seat's wet. I guess it was wet before.
Don't worry. Don't worry.
This is Sunny, and that's Aditya.
Our company's star ad-film makers.
Thank you, thank you.
Show them your product.
And they will make an ad film...
...that will make you crazy.
Should I, papa? - Show it.
Take it out.
Take it out.
Take it out already.
'Goti' is a soda bottle.
'Gol Goti' soda bottle.
It's quite popular in few selected states in India.
I see.
And we want to launch it in the entire country.
Wow.
Because when the marble moves...
...the soda fizzes.
What are you saying, sir?
Papa.
It's true...
The marbles must move.
When the marbles move...with passion...
...that's when you say 'Aah' with pleasure.
Right? - Yes.
Don't worry.
We'll make an ad for your marbles...
...that will make the world stand up...and
And what? - Clap! Clap!
Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!
All over Maharastra people will say.
Forget soda...and hold Goti (marbles).
So sir...whether big or small...
...everyone will taste your marbles.
Papa.. - Great.
Now we handover our marbles to you.
Hoping that you will take care of our marbles...
...like they are our own marbles.
Sir, your marbles are my marbles.
All yours. All yours.
Done. Done.
Ram-Ram. - Leela. Leela.
Papa doesn't have it.
But he does have marbles.
When you don't have a mouth...
...you do it with your hands.
Forget her... and wear this Lawman jeans.
Bro, it's a patented product.
Boss...it's got emboss.
Let's go find some new sex-addict group.
I am feeling really guilty.
I really feel... deep-down in my heart...
...that I cheated on my girl.
I was so drunk...
...I really thought my girl's lying on the bed...
...and calling me.
What are you saying?
You know what...I felt the same.
This means...we both didn't cheat.
Because...our body may have been with someone else...
...but our heart thought that we're with our girl.
Right.
Silly.
After hitting on so many sex-addicts...
...you've become a sex-addict yourself.
History stands witness.
If you keep your banana unused too long...
...it starts to rot.
Now wear this Lawman jeans...and be the man.
Be the star... and let's go find our prey.
Seema Lele Sex-addicts organization.
What...a boring place.
Yeah...we'll get nothing here.
Yeah, let's go.
Hey, Lily. - Hi.
I know.
Are you seeing what I am seeing?
Yeah...double role.
So.
Someone said it right...
Two is more fun.
One's Sita. - So nice.
And the other's Gita.
Yes, mine's Sita... and your's Gita.
Okay, okay...
But what are they doing here?
Are these two sex-addicts?
If they mistake us for real sex-addicts...
...then they will never love us.
A thief can never point fingers at another thief.
If we're sex-addicts in their view...
...then so are they.
Let's go. - Yes, let's go watch.
Hi, everyone.
I am Laila Lele.
And this is my twin sister Lily Lele.
Together we run this sex-addicts group.
We're in trouble.
They're not thieves, they're the jailors.
Well friends, our mother...
Seema Lele.
Was a s...s..sex-addict herself.
Yummy Mummy!
Yummy Mummy!
Yummy...Yummy... Mummy!
Our father was a character actor in Hindi movies.
90 percent of his roles were of an army man.
And he went so crazy playing his roles...
...that whenever there was a real war...
...he would wear his army costume...
...and for months s...s...stand at the border.
Baba wanted army... and mama wanted fun.
Father always said...
"I will never let the enemies..."
"...penetrate the borders and get inside."
But someone would penetrate...
...her borders everyday and g..g..get inside.
Friends, I've thought of a new experiment.
To test whether you're still sex-addicts or not.
If the coin moves, you fail.
I hope you fail.
"She'll take your heart."
"She'll take your life."
"She'll take your sincerity too."
"Laila's going to..."
"Laila's going to..."
"Laila's going to...sweep you away..."
"She'll take your heart."
"She'll take your life."
"She'll take your heart."
"She'll take your life."
"She'll take your sincerity too."
"Laila's going to...sweep you away..."
"Laila's going to...sweep you away..."
Very good...
Aditya. - Aditya!
Aditya. - Aditya!
Aditya.
Very good, Aditya.
Seeing your self- con...con...control...
...I am really happy.
Good boy.
Look...shooting star.
Wow!
They say, if you make a wish to a shooting star...
...it comes true.
My favourite Gol Goti Soda. - Wow!
Why don't you ask for something too?
Gol Goti Soda.
Gives you big fun.
I've never seen anything so lowly and humiliating.
Me neither.
Will parents ever let their daughter drink our soda...
...after watching this ad?
We trusted you two...
...and handed over our marbles to you.
And you did foul-play with our marbles.
No, no, sir. We didn't do any foul play with your marbles.
Swear on my pony. Give us one more chance.
No, no...
We'll make a clean and family-oriented ad for you.
As long as these two are working for you...
...we won't give you our marbles.
We won't.
Swear on my pony...
For the sake of your marbles...
...I will fire these two from the company.
Bloody...two-faced, low-life...
...were you born out of a test-tube?
After playing marbles in your childhood...
...didn't you ever play banana games behind closed doors.
Shut up.
Don't get personal.
Shut up.
And you...
Bloody Polar Bear's twin marbles.
You wanted marbles, didn't you?
Take this...and this...
Security.
Get out!
Now wait and watch.
We'll start our own ad agency.
And we'll make ads...
...that will make you hold your marbles and pony.
Get out!
Now listen...
We're going straight to the bank from here.
Tomorrow we'll have a loan...
...and you will be alone.
Out!
Throw them out of the gate.
We'll have it today.
Loan.
Swear on the pony.
"Ooh Aah Ooh Aah Ouch!"
"Come on my couch."
"Ooh Aah Ooh Aah Ouch!"
"Ooh Aah Ooh Aah Ouch!"
"The wannabe..."
"I like that."
Good morning, ma'am.
Not just houseful, she's blouseful.
Hello, sir. - We've an appointment...
...with the assistant manager.
For a loan.
"Quack."
"Quack."
It's her...from the lift.
"Quack."
Please come in.
"Quack."
"Quack."
"Quack."
Hi. Titli Boobna.
Nice to meet you guys.
Wow.
Would you like something?
We sure will if you give it.
My job is to give.
After all.
I am the Associate Manager of Sab Dyena Bank.
Ohh...
We have just one motto.
Whether its day or night...just keep giving.
Yes...
Ms. Titli... - Please, Ms. Titli is too old-fashioned.
Just call me Titli. - Titli.
Okay.
Okay, Titli.
We need your help in opening something.
What would you like to open?
Our very own ad agency.
You see, the place we worked before...
...we used to make the breast...
I mean the best ads.
Exciting. I like you guys.
Now I'll happily give it to you two.
Loan!
Of course. Of course.
I asked for fries along with my burger.
Fries? - Where is it?
Hold on.
The shadow...
The sun's rays...
I so silly. - We're very smart.
What?
See-well Opticians.
So that your eyes... makes no mistakes.
"Mastizaade."
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. - Congratulations. - "Mastizaade."
Friends, we're going out of India for a few days...
...for a sex-addiction seminar.
And we'll take t...two helpers along.
And these two helpers will be selected through lucky draw.
Aditya Chotiya.
And...Sunny Kele.
Yes!
Eat it.
Clap.
"Mastizaade."
"Mastizaade." - Let's see... whose names were on the list?
Sunny Kele.
Aditya Chotiya.
Sunny Kele.
Sunny Kele.
"By raising your skirt..."
"...you've turned my heart into dynamite."
"...dynamite."
"By raising your skirt..."
"...you've turned my heart into dynamite."
"...I've fallen in love overnight."
"Overnight."
"I dream every night..."
"...and they tickle me."
"It's the magic of your love."
"That every inch of my body's rom-rom-romantic."
"...rom-rom-romantic."
"...rom-rom-rom..."
"...rom-rom-romantic."
"Every inch of my body's rom-rom-romantic."
"...rom-rom-romantic."
"...rom-rom-rom..."
"...rom-rom-romantic."
"It's bigger..."
"...and better too."
"You should try it once."
"It's bigger..."
"...and better too."
"You should try it once."
"I am talking about...my heart."
"Your mind's really dirty, my love."
"It's 12 centimetre in size."
"Touch it little, it is very nice."
"My boats like Titanic."
"That every inch of my body's rom-rom-romantic."
"...rom-rom-romantic."
"...rom-rom-rom..."
"Every inch of my body's rom-rom-romantic."
"That every inch of my body's rom-rom-romantic."
"...rom-rom-romantic."
"...rom-rom-rom..."
"Every inch of my body's rom-rom-romantic."
"From front..."
"...and from back."
"You're juicy from every angle, my love."
"From front..."
"...and from back."
"You're juicy from every angle, my love."
"My rocket's ready baby."
"Let me take you beyond the stars."
"Every time I see you..."
"...even in pitch darkness..."
"...my candle lights up automatic."
"That every inch of my body's rom-rom-romantic."
"...rom-rom-romantic."
"...rom-rom-rom..."
"Every inch of my body's rom-rom-romantic."
"That every inch of my body's rom-rom-romantic."
"...rom-rom-romantic."
"...rom-rom-rom..."
"Every inch of my body's rom-rom-romantic."
As long as you...don't say...
...those three magical words.
I won't do anything.
What do you want to hear?
Those three magical words.
You know, Laila.
I never thought I'll say those three magical words...
...to any girl. - Yes, say it.
But Laila...I Love You.
I love you?
I don't believe this, Sunny.
Laila...you said you wanted to hear the three magical words.
Yes, Sunny.
Those three magical words are not I Love you.
Those three magical words are.. Laila...
Give-it... - To Me.
Laila...Give-it to me.
First time in my life I fell in love.
And with a girl...
...whose view about love is same as I had earlier?
She doesn't run this group with Lily for social service.
In fact, she takes advantage of sex-addicts for fun.
She says...
No commitment...only entertainment.
No wedding...only night.
No mangalsutra...only kamasutra.
Okay, everyone.
As...as...assemble.
I've an important announcement to make.
Come on, sit.
Let's go.
I've some great news.
Today I want to o...o...openly show you...
...who dwells in my heart.
I guess she's talking about you.
He's not perfect, but he's perfect for me.
Stupid.
This is my fianc...Desh-Premi Singh.
There are only three things I love.
"Dharti Maa" Mother India.
"Dharti Maa".
And the mother of my future kids.
Why did you say 'Dharti Maa' twice?
Because this land is my mother.
And my mom's name is Dharti.
Desh Premi has a childhood dream.
To join the army...
...and serve the c...c...country.
But...when he was a kid...
...he was struck with p...p...paralysis.
Why didn't he become a martyr?
What?
Sorry...you were saying something.
Please go on.
And since then, he can't s...s...stand up.
Stand up for what?
Desh Premi cannot stand up.
I completely trust your love, darling.
Once you hold it... Hands.
You never let go. Hands!
Once we get married...
...then I will automatically stand up.
You two are getting married? - Yes.
Next week. In Pattaya.
And by the way, you're all invited to the wedding.
It's not compulsory.
You don't have to come if you don't want to.
But if...you're coming, then remember.
If anyone tries to hit on my Lily...
...then first I'll thrash you like a man...
...then like a hurricane...
...and finally like Salman.
Because once I make a commitment...
...I place it on my lap and use it.
What? - My joystick.
Wheelchair joystick.
Come on, baby...let's the goes.
Yeah!
Bye everyone. - Bye.
"You dog."
Lily...I am here.
Beautiful sky.
Beautiful sea.
Beautiful... Donkey?
Ask him the time.
I want to set my watch.
Pattaya time.
Hello.
Can you tell me the time please?
It's 10:40.
When the balls moved, the clock appeared.
Ask him again?
Hello.
Can you tell me time again please?
What the...
It's 10:40.
Sir, how can you tell the time...
...by just touching the donkey's balls?
Ohh...when the balls moves, he saw the way.
Okay, bye. You have a ball. Okay.
Okay.
Look...
Bloody cripple's preparing to tango at his wedding.
What a stick?
So big.
Oh...
Wow.
My God.
How did you do it? - How?
Because honesty and God dwells in my heart.
Akshay Khanna.
So He made me a cripple...
...but he also taught me different ways to do things.
I am ready to be a cripple to learn these things.
"I am A-shit."
"I am A-shit."
An actor from the British times.
Lily and Laila's dad.
"I am A-shit."
Hello, sir. I am Aditya.
Hello. - You are a shit.
You are a shit.
Sir, why are you abusing us?
Mother's name Urmila.
Father's name Ramgopal.
And my name's Ashit.
Full name Ashit.
U R Ashit.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Thank God my mother's name wasn't Ishita.
And father's name wasn't Mohan.
Otherwise instead of U R Ashit...
...my name would've been I M Ashit.
Bang! Bang!
Why does he keep saying "Bang" "Bang"?
I'll tell you. - Tell them Lily.
Hi.
While playing his army roles...
...papa has fired so many b...b...bullets...
...that sometimes he t...talks less...
...and s...shoots more from his mouth.
Correct. Correct.
You didn't introduce me to your guests.
Sorry, papa.
This is Sunny and that's Aditya.
Hello. Hello.
You know that sex-addic...addic...group..
...that Laila and I run.
These two are members.
These two have a sex problem. - Yes.
You know that I hate sex, and I hate sex-addicts.
No, no, no...
I would make all the sex-addicts...
...stand in a line and "bang...bang...bang."
Shoot them.
No, no...we were sex-addicts.
Not anymore.
Your daughter treated us so well...
...we stopped having sex.
We even stopped thinking about it.
Good. Good.
Good. Good.
By the way, sir... that's really nice horse.
What's his name? - Blackie.
Yes.
Blackie?
But sir, he's white.
Bahadur Shah Zafar once said "What is in the name".
Yes, sir.
But...Shakespeare said that, and not Bahadur Shah.
Exactly. "What is in the name".
Come...I'll show you the back...
I mean the backside. Whose?
Of the hotel, of course.
Welcome. Welcome to the Wedding Hotel.
You were taking us to the backside.
But this is the poolside.
Hello, boys.
And you are? - I am his son-das (Shit).
What? You're his son-das (Shit)?
Yes. He's my son, and his name's Das (Shit).
So...Son Das (Shit).
He's always shaking it around.
What? - His brush.
He has quite manly hobbies?
Yes...and men are my hobby.
I love...filling up my big canvas...
...with my long brush strokes.
Would you...like to see mine? - What?
Canvas! - Of course.
Of course.
Naughty boy.
See..
Beautiful.
A poor fly... is stuck in a spider's web.
Woosh! Woosh!
It flew away.
Hi, sister!
"All night long everyone stares at you."
Why did she have to be like her mother?
Seema.
If you want... you can drink this milk too.
It's cold.
It's fresh.
And filled with cream.
So much cream...isn't good for me.
Ouch...
Oh my, God.
No one poked me so hard... even on Facebook.
Once more. - Sorry.
But...my bag's handle poked you by mistake.
I...I...wasn't talking about the handle.
I can't handle it anymore.
Now mine's...stuck.
"With the winds..."
"...and the clouds."
"Let's move O Beloved."
Das. Das. No, no, no.
Enough of this nok-jok-and poke.
Come with me you two.
I'll show you two your rooms in the resort.
Come on, follow me.
I said follow me. - Papa.
He's so hot. - He's so hot.
Same pinch.
After all...we both drank the same mother's milk.
I want him. - I want him.
He's mine. - He's mine.
He's mine. - He's mine.
He's mine. - He's mine.
It took us an entire day to go from on pool to another.
After all it's a wedding hotel.
Hi!
What a tree...coconuts.
What are you two doing here?
You two just disappeared after that day.
Hi, Aditya.
Do you know these two? - No. No.
No, no... - Yes, uncle.
I met these two at the alcoholic's rehab.
No, no, you're mistaken. - Yes.
They're sex-addicts, and not alcohol.
No, no, we were..
We know that. - What?
After all...we took full advantage...
...of that addiction that night.
Sir, sir...
Sir, we can't have anymore fun.
Actually sir, we are screwed, I mean jacked.
We're tired. - We're sleepy.
Yes, come on. Bye.
"Oh Baby."
Laila...what are you doing?
Trying to explain you...
...the more you try to be Vishwamitra...
...I'll be Meneka.
If I fail to break your penance...
...then I'll be a bachelor for the rest of my life.
Laila...just say I love you once.
And then watch all the fun that I give you.
Forget that.
Say Laila...Give-it to me.
No!
Say it, Sunny.
Laila...Give-it to me.
Sunny, say it.
Laila...Give-it to me.
Sunny...Sunny...give it to her.
If you don't...then I will.
Not just me...entire Pattaya will give it to her.
But for Gods sake, take your hands off...
...from my room's intercom button.
So that I can peacefully sleep alone in my room.
One.
Desh Premi...march ahead.
We're with you.
Why's that old man and that wheel-chair guy...
...exercising in the middle of the day?
I guess you like bamboos.
But sir, what are you preparing for...
...in the middle of the day?
The Ancestral games of our family.
The Wedding Games.
The Wedding Games? Ooh!
What are these wedding games?
It's a huge competition.
From paintball...to tug-of-war.
And now...get ready for the war.
Let's go.
Go on.
Pull.
Yeah!
'Dharti Maa... Give me strength!'
Thank you, God.
Thank you, God.
No...Mama!
That was fun.
Lily...come here.
Lily, come here!
Come here. - Coming.
We should play something different.
Like? - Kabaddi.
You will play kabaddi? - Yeah.
So I can say "De Chaddi- De Chaddi- De Chaddi.. (Underwear)"
Leave me. - "De Chaddi- De Chaddi (Underwear)"
"Take mine..."
Get lost.
No...no...
Now it's your turn.
Go!
Okay.
Missed.
Come on.
Come on, buck up.
Yes, come on.
Come on. Come on.
Come on, Sunny.
If the peacock dances in the jungle...
...who saw it?
No, no, no, no.
Don't shoot...Don't shoot.
Oh my, God.
Take your gun and make holes in my body.
Colour my body...
O beloved... shoot me with your water-gun.
Let my Sunny go.
You two brother-sister... have made my life hell.
This is all your fault. - What?
You...
You're my sister... but Sunny's my bed.
Sorry.
"I am A-Shit."
"I am A-Shit."
No, no, no, no...
"I am A-Shit."
Oh, God!
That handicap broke my kneecaps.
We should've played hopscotch with him instead.
And that cripple would've beat us in that too.
The worst thing is...
...he humiliated me in front of Lily.
How will we ever get married now?
Yeah...
I've an idea.
Go and tell Lily...
...that you intentionally lost to Desh Premi.
So that she doesn't feel bad.
Nice idea. - Good idea, right?
I'll go find her.
Where's Lily's room?
Lily's room...
I am very sorry.
I mistakenly banged you.
I want you to keep banging into me.
Leave me. Laila.
Leave me.
It's not Laila, I am your loverboy.
Das. - Yeah, Das.
Now let's get down with this Das.
How did you get in?
You know I'm an expert in getting in.
I offered something hard to the house-keeping boy.
Hard what?
Hard cash...so I can kiss your lips.
Oh, God!
You know, I have just one problem.
If I don't drink something, it drives me crazy.
Lipple. - Naughty boy..
I...I...I didn't mean that.
You know those milk-bottles for kids.
It's got that lipple... and milk comes out of it.
You can suck that.
It will fulfil your needs and desires too.
Did you ever suck...a lipple?
A lot.
Since I was a kid.
It's really fun.
Then let's do it together.
It will be so much fun.
I know...
Go to your room... and keep your lipple ready.
I'll be there shortly... and do it with you.
Okay, bye.
Look, Das...you see... I'm really hurt today.
That's why I brought it along.
What? - Ointment.
The ointment of my love on your wounds.
Oh, God.
Ouch...let me take it out of my pouch.
These wounds on your handsome body...
...is like the blemishes on the moon.
Look, Das...look...
Someone might come in... and see us.
Go to your room.
Go to your room. - Fine.
I am going.
But promise me...you will come.
I...I...I will come!
Come...
And if you don't come, I'll make you come.
Okay. I'll come.
Go, go...
Before I go... let me give you a woah-job.
What?
Huh!
What?
Disgusting...
I mean...blowing on your wounds... is my job.
See...I can blow myself.
I can blow myself.
Wow! So talented!
Now go...now go. Go on.
Get well soon. - Go, go, go...
Go!
Landed on my bum.
I'll be waiting...
Room No 69!
Just like the magician's heart...
...is trapped in the parrot.
Similarly, Ashit's heart...
...is in his horse Blackie.
And today...I'm going to bathe him.
Clean him...
And make him so spotless...
...that old man will make me sit on this horse...
...and make me Lily's groom.
Bang!
Zip your pants first, it's been open since morning.
Sorry...it's this bloody pant..
Bravo!
Stand up, Desh Premi! Stand up.
You have to fulfil my dreams.
You've to fight a war for the country.
Papa...why are you troubling my body...
...for his dreams.
So that you can be a man.
Pick up my gun, be a man.
I just want to have fun with a man's gun.
Bang!
Good boy, Blackie.
Good boy, Blackie.
He's been smacking my face with his tail.
You should be thankful that he isn't kicking you.
Come on.
Please, Sunny. Hold his tail.
Please. - Fine, I will.
I'll clean his behind.
Blackie.
Your zip's still open. Yuck!
Then zip it up. - No, no...I won't.
For the sake of our friendship.
Please...do it.
That's more like it.
Oh no...the tail's stuck.
What did you do?
I didn't do it. - You attached it.
I tried to zip it and it got stuck.
Now help me take it out.
Okay. - Okay.
Okay. - Okay.
So exciting.
And you know. "Ouch!"
Someone lift me up.
I will.
Come out. Come out. - Come on, Blackie.
Let's go.
"Boy's wood."
"Horse on the wood."
"And with a hammer..."
"...he struck the horse's bum."
My Blackie.
Aren't you ashamed, shameless fellows?
You used my poor blackie...
...to satisfy your hunger and lust.
No, sir...you're mistaken.
Yes, sir. You're mistaken.
We only wanted to bathe and clean your Blackie.
But the tail got stuck instead.
Because the zip slipped, sir.
My mind's slipped now.
I will shoot you two with my gun.
It's out! It's out! It's out!
Run! Run! Run!
This means...he only pretends to be a cripple.
Let's go break both his legs.
Not yet.
We'll go back to the resort.
Wait for him to return.
And later, we'll teach him a lesson...
...in front of the entire family.
Come on.
Good idea. Good idea. - Come on.
"Mastizaade."
Sunny! Aditya! Come in.
Bloody cripple... how did you get here before us?
I guess he ran on his two feet...
...which he was using earlier to walk...
...on Walking Street.
Rascal.
In front of everyone, you pretend you can't stand...
...but in reality, Milkha can run.
I've been sitting here for hours, sewing our Tri-colour flag.
Shut up, you imposter.
Take this...
Come on. Come on.
Stop crawling on the ground like an insect.
Get up...show that you can stand.
I can't stand up.
These legs are too strong.
Give us these legs, Premi. - No.
Give us these legs, Premi. - No.
Give us these legs, Premi! - No.
Come on my express train.
Show the world that you can walk.
You can run.
Go!
"Dogs."
Desh Premi!
What happened?
My God.
Why are you beating... my poor Desh Premi?
Why are you hurting this poor chap?
Mr. U R Ashit...this bloody hotwheels is not helpless.
He only pretends to be a cripple.
He can walk.
They thrashed me a lot.
We saw him on Walking street...
...shaking a leg with naked girls.
You fools...
The guy you saw walking at Walking Street...
...wasn't Desh Premi.
It's his twin brother.
Twin? - Yes, my twin brother.
Desh Drohi.
Today I will 'bang' you two with my double-barrel.
Papa...you've to shoot me before you shoot Sunny.
Move aside, Das. Move. Or I will shoot.
No, papa. - Move I say.
No, papa... - Move.
It's okay, papa.
Anyone can m...make this mistake.
Yes, of course.
They've made many mistakes today.
First Blackie and now Desh Premi.
I won't spare you.
Papa...please...spare my love.
There's nothing left to spare now.
Papa...
Hello. - What are you doing?
I wanted to tell you that...
...we knew we didn't see your Desh Premi on Walking Street.
It was his twin brother.
Then why create this c...com...commotion?
Darling. To help Desh Premi stand up. - What?
We thought our punches will awaken...
...the man inside him.
And your Desh Premi will stand up.
Aditya, you're so sweet. - I know.
"O baby."
Let's get cool in the pool.
"My passionate heart's saying."
"How long am I going to stay lonely and yearning?"
"Let me shower my love on you today..."
"...and drench you."
Don't worry, Blackie.
Tonight I am going to keep a watch...
...and no one will be hit on you tonight.
If anyone even stares at your bum...
...I'll blow him up with this bomb.
Bang.
I can do anything for your happiness.
And that's why I have another idea.
What idea?
Make that Desh Premi burn!
Not actually.
Make him jealous.
Ohh... How?
Pretend to love some hot and happening hunk.
First, reduce the size of your clothes...
...like your sister... and seduce someone else.
Smaller than this?
When he sees you with someone else?
Yes...
Your Desh Premi will automatically...stand up.
But...hot...handsome...hunk...
...where do I find him?
Look around, you'll find him.
There's no o...one around.
Look again.
Must be somewhere here or there.
There's no one here or there?
Then look in front of you.
There's just you.
Then why don't you do it with me.
You don't mean that.
I mean it...I mean it...
How else do you want me to say it?
Aditya...will you really...
...p...p...pretend to love me?
Lily. - Yes.
I'll be so realistic in this act...
...that you'll forget that I'm only pretending.
L...let's begin.
What?
The act.
"All night long everyone stares at you."
"All night long everyone stares at you."
"Some whistle and some wink at you."
"Some ask me to come to the corner."
"Some call me to their home."
"Some say let's do it here."
"Everyone's crazy about you."
"Now it's my choice... what do I give to whom."
"Sweetheart, would you like to see the trailer..."
"Sweetheart, would you like to see the trailer..."
"...or should I show you the picture."
"Sweetheart, would you like to see the trailer..."
"...or should I show you the picture."
"Sweetheart, would you like to see the trailer..."
"...or should I show you the picture."
"The night's colourful..."
"...so why are you lagging."
"The candle of love...is burning high."
"It's a bit hard."
"And a bit soft."
"The cold nights... making me smoulder."
"Let me bathe you in this moonlight."
"Sweetheart, would you like to see the trailer..."
"Sweetheart, would you like to see the trailer..."
"...or should I show you the picture."
"Sweetheart, would you like to see the trailer..."
"...or should I show you the picture."
"Sweetheart, would you like to see the trailer..."
"...or should I show you the picture."
"All night long everyone stares at you."
"Some whistle and some wink at you."
"Some ask me to come to the corner."
"Some call me to their home."
"Some say let's do it here."
"Everyone's crazy about you."
"Now it's my choice... what do I give to whom."
"Sweetheart, would you like to see the trailer..."
"Sweetheart, would you like to see the trailer..."
"...or should I show you the picture."
"Sweetheart, would you like to see the trailer..."
"...or should I show you the picture."
"Sweetheart, would you like to see the trailer..."
"...or should I show you the picture."
"Sweetheart, would you like to see the trailer..."
"...or should I show you the picture."
Last night it felt like...
...Lily's burning up inside for me.
But with me the fire is burning on both sides.
Basanti want's to steer my cart...
...as well as Gabbar's Sambha.
Stop laughing.
That Das has been giving me scary nightmares.
Like...I'm a fly stuck in his spider-web.
No! No! No!
Das. No.
No.
Now you're stuck.
Smell this.
Now listen to my problem.
Whenever Lily comes close to me...
...her father get's upset.
Now I must convince the father, along with his daughter.
Impossible.
How do I do it?
We must think of something.
Anyway, go take a bath.
I'll go get a towel. - Go on, hurry up.
Careful Mr. Kele.
Because coming your way is Laila Lele.
You haven't taken a bath yet.
No, I was taking a dump...
Tell me how do I convince that old man?
Give him a gift.
Like an expensive perfume. Or body lotion.
Like the one I use...it's really nice.
Yuck...mine's better.
No, no, look at mine. Mine's better.
Why is yours better than me?
Look...mine's bigger!
They're going to blow you away with their cannon, sir.
No! No! No! - Yes, sir.
You don't get it.
When we give it to the old man...
...he should feel good.
Shameless. Give me.
And when he squeezes it out...
...and applies it all over his body...
Shameless...I'll apply it on my body.
He should feel completely refreshing.
Oh...
And that's why mine's better.
Disgusting. You're disgusting.
Disgusting.
Okay, fine.
Tonight we'll give the old man yours. - Yes.
Tonight!
They don't want your daughter...
...they want you.
Oh, God!
Disgusting people. Let's go.
Boys.
Oh my.
Honey!
Hi. - Hi.
I am Adam.
The weather's so awesome, right.
Meet my friend Steve.
Hi.
Listen, I want you to meet my friend Jeev.
Hi.
I want you to meet my friend Rajeev.
Hi, hi, Love. Hi.
And I am their Sanjeev.
No!
Now there's just one way left.
In order to make Sunny mine...
...I'll have to do what I never did before.
My, God!
"O my sweet beloved.."
"O my sweet beloved.."
"I've decked up for you..."
"Only for you."
"I've changed myself only for you."
"Now listen to my heartbeats."
"Every corner...corner of my heart."
"This Laila belongs only to Sunny."
"This Laila belongs only to Sunny."
"This Laila belongs only to Sunny."
"This Laila belongs only to Sunny."
"This Laila belongs only to Sunny."
"This Laila belongs only to Sunny."
Is that me? - Yes.
He's shaking it too. His head.
Listen...there's something I want to say to you...
...from the bottom of my heart, with faith and sanctity.
I love you.
I love you too.
Let go, dear.
What nonsense.
My heart's broken but not my bangles.
Yuck...Mummy
Lily...even I...from my body...
Sorry..
I mean from my honest heart...
...and every corner of Hritik's...
With Shraddha, Deepika, Katrina...I mean all of them...
Yeah!
I...
I...
Lily darling.
Lily dear...good news. Good news.
Desh Premi, give them the good news.
I just received my doctor's report.
Remember...you bent down, aimed...
...and punched me in a special place.
Yeah...
That's to those punches, all my veins are unblocked again.
Huh?
Now the blood's circulating in the right place.
No, no...I am still a cripple. - Good.
But...below the knee.
All the parts above the knee...
...are functioning perfectly.
No!
Yes.
This means...tomorrow at my wedding night...
...I can easily fulfil the responsibilities of a husband.
Thanks to you.
Bang.
Lily, shall we? - Yes.
Come, come, come.
Come on. Lily.
Lily, I will definitely drink almond milk on our wedding night.
I definitely will.
How can punches unblock the veins?
I...I know Lily loves me.
So why...is she marrying Desh Premi?
Because...she doesn't want to be unfair with Desh Premi...
...like our libidinous mother did to our father.
What's that?
Sex-addict, honey.
When you speak in Hindi, baby...
"O Baby."
...you look like a doll.
Baby doll.
Meaning... child doll.
Stop your love games...and help me out...
...or keep eating that banana?
Idea.
There's only man who can help us.
Remember our super-cool friend...
...with whom we used to have grand fun.
Aur-Gasm hermitage.
Wasn't this supposed to be Deep's Night Club?
One Night Stand.
Where did this hermitage come from?
How would I know?
The Baba of all Babas.
Baba Gasm is arriving.
Hail Baba Gasm!
Hail Baba Gasm! - "Mastizaade."
Hail Baba Gasm!
"Mastizaade." - Hail Baba Gasm!
"Mastizaade."
"When it comes to having fun..."
"When it comes to having fun..."
"...we're cut above the rest."
Deep...what's wrong with you?
You were the original Mastizaada.
When did you become Baba Gasm?
Without touching their body, I use my mental strength...
...to give mind-gasm to females.
Hold on. Mind-gasm?
Yes.
What's mind-gasm?
Guruji, mind...
...'beeps' his devotees.
Mind-beep.
Silly boys...come, let me demonstrate.
Mind-gasm.
So...what will you come?
It's all Lily's mom Seema's fault.
If she hadn't cheated her father U R Ashit...
...then she wouldn't be marrying Desh Premi.
U R Ashit?
"Yummy Mummy."
"Yummy Mummy."
"Yummy Yummy Mummy."
What are you doing here?
You are...
I...seek refuge in Baba's company.
For years he's been mind-'beeping' me.
Seema...Seema...
It's time that you go meet your daughters.
I wish I could've helped you some more.
But unfortunately... my special appearance ends here.
So why don't you guys just.. - Beep-off.
Exactly.
And yes...
As soon as you get to the alter...
...don't forget to shout..
Stop...This marriage cannot happen.
This marriage cannot happen.
"Cannot happen."
Seema!
Mom.
Mother.
Mother-in-law's here.
Mom!
"Mastizaade."
"Mastizaade."
What are you doing here?
All thanks to Sunny and Aditya who found me.
I should've shot you two on day one.
Bang.
A husband's duty is to please his wife.
Huh!
And you...never gave me something 'beep'.
And that's why...every man here...
...has seen my bedroom ceiling.
Tell me...who were my lovers?
Tell me.
Bloody priest.
"Yummy Mummy."
"Yummy Mummy."
"Yummy Yummy Mummy."
Do you want your lovers...
...to raise their hands at your daughter's wedding?
No!
Run away, dear. Run away.
No!
Laila.
You dog!
Quickly. Quickly.
Stop.
You Dog.
Rascal.
Hurry up.
Please stop.
Sunny, I love you.
Shut up, Das.
Stop!
Stop!
Stop!
p...p...please...g...g...go!
Why are you walking in slow-motion?
Move out...or pass out.
Come on, fast. - Hurry up. Hurry up.
Come on...move.
Selfie.
Selfie.
Selfie.
Selfie at this age.
Why don't you two make out here?
Mom, selfie.
Smile, mom.
What's going on here?
Someone get them out.
Why don't you hold it and get off?
What did you say?
I mean...get down and catch them.
Oh yeah...
Oh yes, I didn't think about that.
Why you...
Stop. Stop.
Stop. Stop.
Rascal...out to dirty my Laila.
Desh Premi...Aditya's my true...p...p... - Parrot.
P...p... - Paresh Rawal.
No...my true love.
Papa. Papa.
Aditya. - No!
Leave me.
For God's sake leave me.
Leave me...or else I will kill all of you.
If you kill me, you'll become a widower.
Yes.
And everyone will say.
Look there goes Ashit widower.
A-shit widower. A-shit widower.
A-shit widower.
My gun. My gun.
Papa's gun is very important for him.
Let's go. Let's go.
Hey.
Aditya! - Fall down.
I'm stuck.
I am stuck.
Choo! Choo! Choo!
Choo!
Ch...Ch...Choo!
Chooha...rat glue.
Sticky-sticky gum on brother-in-law's bum.
Now he's stuck. - Shut up.
My gun.
No... - Leave me.
Lily.
Leave me.
My gun.
My moustache is stuck.
Ouch!
My moustache.
You ruined my moustache, you dog.
Lily.
Oh...don't look here.
No.
"Killed us."
Now we're dead. Danger.
It's like...after sticking-picking...
...comes dicing and slicing.
Like after catch-catch... comes cutting to pieces.
Or after girl on girl, comes girl on boy.
Shut up!
Can't you guys rhyme with the time.
Look there...think of an idea.
Otherwise our carrots will get diced.
Mother-in-law, think of an idea.
Son, how can I think of an idea?
Only thing I'm good at is taking off my clothes.
Oh yes...that's it.
Take your clothes off.
If we strip off our clothes...
...we can make a rope, lasso the lever...
...and stop the machine.
Yes...
Shameless...
Even when we're dying...
...you want my family to strip their clothes.
Sir, looking at this problem...
...we have to strip, please.
Honey, how can I take off my blouse?
What's the point of a blouse...
...that can't save his spouse?
Give it. Give it.
Hurry...
"Sweetheart, would you like to see the trailer..."
"Sweetheart, would you like to see the trailer..."
"...or should I show you the picture."
"Sweetheart, would you like to see the trailer..."
"...or should I show you the picture." - Hurry up...hurry...
"Sweetheart, would you like to see the trailer..."
"...or should I show you the picture."
Hurry up...hurry...
Finally.
Leave him.
Sir...if you still think...
...we're not worthy of then, we'll leave.
Empty-handed.
But before we go...
...how did you get your moustache back, Desh Premi?
Ohhh...
Let me go, Premi.
I cannot l...l...live without Aditya.
Let me go, father.
I cannot live without Sunny.
Go Lilly...go.
No one can love you more than this boy.
Go.
Go Lilly...go.
She's gone. Bang.
What are you saying? - Yeah.
In this lifetime, he's yours.
But for the next six lifetimes, Sunny's only mine.
What a disgusting kid?
He's yours after all. - Bang.
Bang.
Suck this...l...l...lipple.
Years later I am seeing yours.
If the coin moves...you pass.
"Sweetheart, would you like to see the trailer..."
"Sweetheart, would you like to see the trailer..."
"...or should I show you the picture."
"Sweetheart, would you like to see the trailer..."
"...or should I show you the picture."
"Sweetheart, would you like to see the trailer..."
"...or should I show you the picture."
Now mine's... trickled.
"Come on everybody."
"Scene 27, take 1...best of luck."
"The heart's a rascal."
"Wants you to come meet me in a closed room."
"Fulfil my desires."
"The heart's a rascal."
"Wants you to come meet me in a closed room."
"Fulfil my desires."
"Lawman's right here."
"Where do you think you're going?"
"How to satisfy you only I know."
"In the morning we forget..."
"...what we give and take night."
"Give and take."
"Give and take."
Small balls..
Oh no...
Shall we begin.
Oh no...
"Ooh aah Ooh aah... - Ouch!"
"Come on my doubts."
"Ooh aah Ooh aah..."
"Ooh aah Ooh aah... - Ouch!"
Sorry, sorry, sorry...belt."
"Ooh aah Ooh aah... - Ouch!"
"Party hard."
"The season's hot."
"In this hot season, cool your body."
"Don't let it rust, it's lying around."
"Use the tool of your heart."
"Drop the curtains."
"Show them what they haven't seen before."
"Wake up what's sleeping."
"In the morning we forget..."
"...what we give and take night."
"Give and take."
When your heart and soul become one...
One more...this is getting in my mouth.
"Come on my doubts."
"Ooh aah Ooh aah... - Ouch!"
Sorry, I forgot.
The banana...
Sorry..
Save me. Save me. Hurry up.
Save me. Save me.
"And fulfil my desires."
"Lawman's right here."
"Where do you think you're going?"
Don't ever listen to an elder woman.
Quickly...
"In the morning we forget..."
"...what we give and take night."
You lose... Cut.
Diet poke.
"Ooh aah Ooh aah... - Ouch!"
"Come on my doubts." - What's that bloody wheelchair...
Sorry...sorry..
"Ooh aah Ooh aah... - Ouch!"
"Ooh aah Ooh aah... - Ouch!"
Don't worry...I won't give you a reason to complain.
"Come on my doubts."
"Ooh aah Ooh aah... - Ouch!"
"Ooh aah Ooh aah... - Ouch!"
Cut it!