Honey, come on over here, sugar buns!
This machine just called me an asshole!
I knock.
Jesus Christ, do you|know how to play this game?
Sure!
Well, then, why don't|you make your last draw?
The bridge is going up!
It can't be! That light was green!|- Stop!
What the fuck!
Look out!
Far out!
It's gonna bump!
The light's green. The|cross bar never went down.
You goddamn stupid asshole!
Can't you see we've|got a situation here?
So, you get Mickey mantle|over to the baseball game?
You go on and joke all you want.
He hit three balls over the fence.|Once of 'em must've gone 250 feet.
Holy God, look at that thing!
I'll get it.
Handy, you son-of-a-bitch! I thought|you was down in Texas.
No, that was last week.
You like that?
That's some rig, alright.|- Give her a big drink.
I gotta have some coffee.|- Right.
Hey, men.|- Handy.
This damn thing!
What's the matter?
Well, this thing was workin'|just fine a few minutes ago...
...and now I can't get|pea-turkey on it.
Do you wanna bring me a coffee when|you get done jerkin' on that thing?
Robinson.
Robinson, get in here, boy.
I got eggs on!
I don't give a lady bug!|I want you in here now!
Wanda, shut that radio off and|mind them eggs for Billy!
Your mama!
Steve Gayton, Mr. Hendershot,|Duncan Keller's had an accident.
Shit! What happened to him?
He got diesel in his eyes.|I'll be damned if I know how.
Is that all? Flush|his eyes. Leave me alone.
I got me some talkin' to do in here. I|gotta wipe everybody's ass around here.
Shitty job, but I reckon somebody's|gotta do it. Ain't that right, Bubba?
No. Lemme, lemme get this straight now.
You want me to work for nine hours...
...and only clock in for eight?
I know you've been to college, boy.
Screw that... not this kid.
You know what that|star means, don't you?
You ain't that obtuse, are you?|Parole, boy!
Your ass belongs to me or it|belongs to the state of North Carolina.
You've got one hell of a|racket goin' here, ain't you?
Put that back in the rack|for me on your way by, would you?
Thank you, Bubba.
Shit!
Wanda, honey, you want me|to get that cup of coffee myself?
Bill!
It's getting' outta hand in here!
You ain't talkin' about me,|are you honey?
Jesus Christ!
Those eggs comin'|pony express or what?
Just a minute, Sir!
It's biting me! Make it stop!|- What is?
That knife! That knife!
Quick, quick a rag!|Somebody give me a rag!
That knife go rabid on you,|sweet thing?
It turned it motor on and it bit me.
Short circuit, maybe.|- There it goes again!
It's on again!
It's still goin'!
Look at that sucker! Nail it!
Now what?
Safe!
Come on, sodas! I'm buyin'!
You guys can help me|pick stuff up, y'know?
No sodas!
What the hell?
Shit!
Coach, are you okay?
Come on, coach!
You'd better give up, sugar pie.
I haven't been able to get something|since half an hour or so.
I must have a broken antenna|or something.
By the moment the information...
How far you goin'|up the road, sugar pie?
It depends on how long you|can keep your hands to yourself.
What's that, sweet thing?|I didn't quite catch it.
I said, I don't really know.|- Just driftin', huh?
I know what it's like. I've been|driftin' myself now for about 10 years.
When I started in this business,|about eight years ago...
Right after I got outta the army...|- I got somethin'.
I bet you did.
broke down.
are pouringing over wire services.
bulletins as they come in.
repeat this urgent message.
If you are near a major highway...
Get away at!
Shit!|- What's wrong there, sweet thing?
Go in there.
If you don't get your hand off my|leg you're gonna be wipin' your ass...
...with a hook the next time|you take a dump.
I swear I never heard no|talk like that when I was a boy.
What the hell are you doing, girl?|What's the matter with you?
Lordy, Lordy, girl!|You goin' crazy or somethin'?
Did you hear anything that man said?
Are you... are you on something?
Oh, Jesus!|- Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
Don't you go walkin'|away from me like that!
You come back here, girl!
Come back here and listen to me!|- Sweeten my shorts!
I swear, sometimes I think this old|world forgot what good manners is!
Here I go, give you a|ride in my brand new car...
...and look at the|garbage comin' outta your mouth!
Do you know what I think?|I think it's a damn!
Look at what that|stuff does to people!
The whole civilization is|about to make them fall.
You think the newspapers|are any better?
You know it ain't newspapers that are|gonna save this world or even tv!
I'm tellin' you right here and now as|far as I said, all that's...
...from the son, Jesus!|- It ain't full yet!
Shepherd, I shall not want!
Jesus, what the hell happened here?|- I don't know.
What in the dickens|is goin' on around here?
That's a damn good question, isn't it?
That was your rig, wasn't it, Handy?|- Yeah.
Well then, who was drivin' it?|- I don't know.
But he must've been|a hot-wire champion.
Hell's bells!
We gotta get some gas.
Well, that's good 'cause|I gotta go to the ladies.
Can I come in and watch?
No, you cannot come in and watch.
Ouch! Shoot!
Did you see?|- What, honey?
Never mind.
Oh, Jesus!
Curt!
Curtis!
Is he dead?
Great God!
I need some ethyl.
Curt, I don't like this!
Curtis!
Are you dead?
Shit!
My God.
Get in right now!
Go! Go! Go!
The other way! The other way!
Come on, honey!
You stop that yelling! You know|I can'ty drive when you shout at me!
Boy, ain't this a no|count piece of shit!
You do what I said with that body?
Got him downstairs, sure.
Pretty crispy, Mr. Hendershot.|What happened?
Fucked if I know, Bubba.
Fucked if I know.
So, anybody in there?
No, not now.
You're cute.
Yeah? Am I?
Not that cute.
Well, maybe I'll grow on you.
Look at that. There's nothing!
Did you ever see that much nothing|at ten fifteen in the morning, hero?
Name's Bill.
Hi, Bill. Brett.
Although microwave relays...
since nine o'clock this morning...
appears to be occurring everywhere.
Moscow...
are the same.
operating themselves...
an agency we don't understand...
homicidal rampage.
slowly than others.
completely certain this morning.
machine is to be trusted.
Unplug all the electrical appliances.
If you have a truck or car...
Let me tell you right now,|boy and girl.
That this beautiful American|truth way Bible...
...with fine git edge an full page|color picturesy can be yours for...
...9,95. Wait a minute before you say|anything, let me tell you something.
This Bible has everything in it.
From the creation of this beautiful|world of ours to the fall of mankind.
Look, Duncan, just,|hang on a little longer, alright?
I gotta find my boy. Christ!|What's goin' on out there?
Look, man. You can't even see!
I can see just fine.
I don't wanna pop you one, Joe.|You keep yapping' at me, I'm goin'!
Duncan? Duncan!
What's he doin'?
You really goin' after Deke, man?|- Yeah.
Look, how many fingers do you see?
Eight, twelve?
Alright, so I got a little double|vision. But it's clearin' up, Bill.
I gotta find my boy.
I gotta!
Anything could be goin' on there.
Christ sakes!
You leave without punchin' out...
...and you ain't never gonna|have to punch in again, Bubba.
Good!
You leave me along, fat fuck!
No, leave him alone!
Or what?
Or I'll knock your teeth in, Bubba.
Duncan, look out!
Oh God!
It'll give you|protection in time of danger.
It'll give you health in time of|sickness and fondness leviticus.
It just...
Oh, sucker!
Son-of-a-bitch! Out my way, bitch!
Fucker!
I'm gonna tear 'em up, boy!
Where the hell are you goin',|drunk son-of-a-bitch?
Get back inside, you idiot!
God dammit, you snot bag!|Come on out!
Come on! Get outta here!|- Let me go!
You wanna rock and roll with me?
Bastard!
Right here, you, prick!
You overgrown! Scum ball! By God!
Get outta the way, you crappy asshole!
This is Bubba Hendershot at Dixie Boy.|Anybody read me out there?
Come on in, Rusty!
No one. No one in the cab|of that mother fucker at all.
Horse pucky!|- What we gonna do now?
I don't know.|- This is Bubba Hendershot...
...at the Dixie Boy! God dammit,|Rusty, come on in, boy!
Spread it on the ground next to him.
Hurry up, man!
Jesus, he's starting to draw flies.
What the hell are you doing in there?
Changing.
That salesman had his hands|all over me and he's dead now.
I don't like the smell of him on me.|I don't like it.
Jesus!
For chrissake, don't just stay there.|He's dripping all over my floor.
Get him outta here!|- Come on, man. Come on.
What the hell are you|guys looking at?
Nothing.|- That's right. Nothing.
Well then, go look|at it somewhere else.
Okay.
Goddamn things got no right to|be running through this depot.
Where are they going, Curtis?
I don't know.
Greensboro, maybe. Maybe Charlotte.
Why?
Don't know.
Try the radio again.
I think I've just loaded my pants.
Curt.
Curtis, it's coming after us!
My God, Curtis. It's gonna bump us!
Mom, please talk to me!
Hang on!
Curtis, I knew I never should|let you drive again.
Curtis, make him stop following us!
Curtis, what is going on?|- I don't know!
But I know, we call the|police from the truck stop up there.
My God!
When we get to that truck stop|everything will be all right. Oh, yes.
What are you doing?
Do you see that gap?
The next time it comes around|I'm gonna shoot right through it.
No, you don't!|They'll gang up and squash us!
I can do it!
All so we can be inside|where they are?
What do you think is gonna|happen to us if we stay out here?
I'm scared.
Me, too.
Billy! Come here|and look at these fools.
Now what?|- They're dead.
Yeah, maybe not.|- Don't go out there, man.
Don't, Joe!|- Eat this.
Hang on tight!
Curtis, I'm upside down. I'm stuck.
Where are you going?|Will you get me out of here?
I'm caught in this goddamn seatbelt.
I told you not to use the seat|belts. I told you a thousand time.
I said, watch out!|Curtis, will you help me?
Watch that thing, will you? That thing|looks sharp!
He's not my Curtis.|Where is my Curtis? Shit!
Goddamn, asshole! Curtis,|will you help me?
Help me!
Alright, Bubba!|Stick this one up your own cheek!
Fuckin' truck's gotta be dee-po'ed.|That one's deep po'ed for sure.
Reload me, Joey.|Come on, reload me, boy.
And I want that shit, Bubba!
Come on! Run!
Honey, you're bleeding|like a stuck pig.
Where'd you get all that stuff?
We got a bunch of that stuff down.|- Shut up, Joey.
Found it in my Christmas|stocking, Bubba.
Get inside. Come on, let's get inside.
How are the love birds?
Heart rates are|slowin' down a bit, I think.
That's good.
Mother's helper?
A girl hitchin' her way down|to Florida needs some protection.
That's what you're doing'?|- Yeah.
I was doing it before the machines|went into maximun overdrive.
I'm scared.
If I put my arm around you...
...would you stick me with that thing?
You don't stick a|person with a strap razor.
It's more like...
And I wouldn't...
Okay?
Holy cow!
Joey?|- Yeah?
Get up here.
It's over, man.
Does he really got a lotta|fire power down in the cellar?
You heard him tell me|to shut up, didn't you?
Come on, Joey, this is serious.
He's got a lot.
Grenades?
Well.
What else? Flame|throwers, rifles, what?
You're gonna get us in an|awful lot of trouble, man.
In case you didn't realize it, boy,|we're already in trouble.
Talk to me, Joey.
Everything. He's got everything.
Now, go and leave me alone, Billy!
Holy shit!
You think he stole all this?
No, I think he bought it,|cheap like a guy like him does.
Buys things cheap?
Buy cheap and sell dear.|It's the American way.
Jesus Christ!|This is cute, isn't it?
You find any money on him, Bubba?
I don't now what to make of this, boy.|You're bright, I know you are.
You keep on bein' obtuse.
We don't wanna steal anything.|We just wanna get outta here alive.
You messin' again, Bubba,|who ain't oughta be messin'.
Sometimes even college|boys don't learn their lesson...
...until they had their|chops busted a few times, do they?
You know what's goin' on|outside or are you blind?
You tell the little road twit|about your illustrious career?
He's a blood-thirsty criminal, alright.|Regular John Dillinger.
Goddamn you!
Couple o' charlotte cops caught him|in this little bitty grocery store.
With a sack o' money in his hand,|thumb up his ass, big grin on his face.
You wanna get outta here, boy.|One call, I get you outta here!
Oh yeah? Who you gonna call?|The North Carolina state police?
Now listen. I won't play any|goddamn games with you, Hendershot.
I just wanna get the hell outta here.
I'm warnin' you, boy.|- No, man, I'm warnin' you!
This thin's over,|your ass is grass, boy.
Do you hear me?
Joey!
Goddamn you, Joey! I told|you to keep an eye on the keys!
I owed a guy some money.
I was about twenty at the time.
Not real bright about most things.
It's all right.|- No, it's not.
What gets to me is his stupidity.
Cops put that spotlight on me|and I just froze like a rabbit.
It's all right.
I'll tell you one thing.|- What's that?
You sure make love like a hero.
Look at that light.
Do you know what I think?
What?|- I think it's the comet.
We've been in its tail for|almost twelve hours.
And if it is that comet that's making|everything go crazy...
...then all we gotta do is|stay alive for the next seven days.
No problem.
I got an idea.
Can you sail?
A little. Hobie cats|and things like that.
Good deal. I used to crew big ones.
Sailboats, no motors.
No motors?
Where would we go?
I'm thinkin' about this|place called Haven.
It's an island about|six miles off the coast.
And there aren't any motor vehicles|allowed on the place. None whatsoever.
None?
You know...
...you are not only a hero...
...you are a genius.
The whole goddamn|world's goin' to hell.
They can't! We made them!
Look, honey. You've gonna hurt|yourself. Come on, sweet thing.
Don't you 'sweet thing' me!|- Now, Wanda June, baby, just let...
They can't! We made them!
You can't! We made you! Do you hear?
Where's your sense of loyalty?|You things!
We made you! We made you!
Made you! We made you!
Wanda!|- We made them!
Wanda!|- We made them!
Not the dark. Please God, don't...
I'm scared. Please|don't let us be in the dark!
Man, stop with them damn spoons.
Safer than the juke box.
I like spoons.
Man, this is one piece of shit.
Shit!
Damn trucks ain't never|gonna let us outta here.
I believe it.
Place your bets.|- I don't usually play for peanuts.
Come on.
I gotta eat.|- Deal, woman.
Hit me.
There's lot less of them.
Yeah.
Looks like they're running dry.
Think they're pushin' them in back.
Maybe tomorrow|it'll be our world again.
I don't know.
Was it ever?
I hate those fuckin' trucks.
I never did like trucks anyway.
Holy shit!
What was that?
God, that's that Bibles'|salesman I rode in with.
There's some guy out there?
Sweet Jesus, help me!
Help me!
Let's go get him!|- No, you don't!
You let some of those other big|strong men go out and get him.
I didn't sign on here to be no hero.
Yeah!
Wait a second! Wait a second! Wait up!
Just like the old joke, you can't|get there from here.
We gonna stand around|and listen to him do that?
Y'know, I think there|might be a way to get to him.
Now, the shower drain runs into|the ditch where the guy is.
Will we fit?
One way to find out.|- You boys are crazy.
Curt? Curtis! Curtis!
What are you doin'?
I'll be right back.|- You ain't goin'!
There's a man layin'|hurt out there, honey.
There's gonna be a man hurt layin' here|if you don't quit this foolishness.
If it was your man out there, you'd|want someone to go, wouldn't you?
Well, it ain't. You're not goin'.
I'm goin'!
Don't make me a widow|on my wedding day, Curtis.
Okay.
Just scoot right across.
Pick up your feet and try not to...|- I can handle it.
You boys are just as crazy as a couple|of rats in a plugged-up shithouse!
You are without a doubt one of the|biggest fuck heads I ever met.
Wish me luck.|- Yeah.
You ready? Let's do it.
Good thing that one was outta gas.
What makes you so sure that it was?
I don't think we need to|worry about that right now.
Okay.
Oh man, are you ready? One, two, three.
Bombs away!
Think it'll hold?|- Fucked if I know.
You okay?|- Yeah.
Okay. You wanna grab that bag?|- Thanks.
Oh, Jesus. This sucker weighs a...
Oh, boy!
Great smell, huh?
You okay?|- Yeah.
I wonder how many|people have peed in this.
Are you okay?|- Yeah, I'm okay.
How's it taste?
Shit! I'm sending' you a friend.|- Shit!
Get outta here!
Mister?
Help me!|- How?
Pull me! Pull me!|- I can't! You're too heavy!
Get me out of this ditch...
...or by Jesus I'll kill you!
Shit! What a great time! I wish I could|do that every day. What a blast!
Bill! Bill!
Bill, help me!|- Jesus! That's Deke!
Help me!
Come on!|- Please, help me!
Stop pulling me.
He's dead!|- No he isn't!
He's dead!
He's dead! He's dead!
Let's go. Come on, dammit!
Bill, you okay, bud?
Yeah, I'm okay. Will|you your ass, for chrissake?
Okay.
Let's go.|- Bill?
Bill, is my dad okay?
Come on.
Let's go partner.
I think that truck got 'em.|That's what I think.
I think they're dead.
No, they're all right.
Then, where are they?|- There they are! They just came up!
That ain't no salesman.|That's Duncan's kid.
Go, go!
Way to go, Billy!|- Hello, boy.
You ain't gonna be satisfied until you|get 'em right in here with us.
Cigar, Joey.
Mr. Hendershot, did you|see he nailed that big one?
Bill, are you okay?|- Yeah.
How'd you find the kid?
Bill, where's my dad?
Duncan got scrubbed by|on of them big boys out there.
Touch break, kid.|- You unbelievable shithead!
Is it true?
Is it true?
Yeah, it's true.
No!
No, no. Hang on, now.
Hang on, Deke.|- Mr. Hendershot.
Just a little lesson from|the road twitch.
Hold on, Deke.
Bill?
Bill!
Bill, wake up!|There's something out there.
There's something out there.|You gotta see this.
Come on! Wake up!
It's right up here.
What the fuck is goin' on here?
Now what?
Holy God!
Alright!
Alright, God dammit!
You want a war?
You got one.
Man, I wouldn't do that.|- Shut up, Bubba.
Shit! Get down!
How do you like that, chickenshit?
Jesus Christ!
It stopped, man.
You sons-of-bitches!
Wanda, no!|- You sons-of-bitches!
Don't go.|- We made you!
Don't you understand?|You can't do this!
We made you!
Wanda, Wanda! That's|Wanda June out there, dammit!
Deke!
Deke, goddammit, you're|gonna get killed. Stay down.
It's right there. If it wants|to waste us, it will.
Now what is it doing?
It's morse.
Bullshit!
No, really. I should know. I got a|merit badge in it this spring.
Well, what's it sayin', kid?
Give me a pen.|I can't keep up with it.
Incredible, they want us to feed them.
Feed 'em?
Fuck 'em. Let 'em starve!|Half of them's outta gas already.
Let 'em starve, it won't take long.
We can't fill 'em anyway.|We ain't got no power.
Shit!
I'll be damned. I'm|gonna turn on the pumps.
Hope none of them left home|without their American Express cards.
Bill, wait!
Wait!
It's not a good idea. It's like Neville|Chamberlain giving in to the Nazis.
Come here.
Okay.
Now, you see that one, right?|- Yes I do.
Okay. Now look,|here's the way I figure it.
The big guys,|they're heavy weights, okay?
They crash in here, they won't break|the floor and open the cellar.
But that one, that bastard ain't|no reason why he couldn't...
...call in a truck full of napalm and|hose this place down.
Just take care of yourself, okay?
What are they gonna do?|Run me down?
Shit, that'd be like a junkie tryin' to|run down his connection.
Alright, you bastard!
Tell all your friends the main|line's open.
Got the best shit on the|east coast, practically uncut.
You got that, fuck face?
This could be a very long day.
Served, guy.
Shut up, already! You ain't|don' so bad here! Here!
There! Suck on that!
I'll take over.
Thanks.
I hope they choke on it.
Sorry, guys.
It was fun while it|lasted, but we're all out.
What?
What do you want?
What?
What's it doin'?|- I don't know.
Billy, come on, I'll take over here.
He's all done.
They don't understand.
What's that, Billy?
How it is to get tired.|How a man gets tired.
Why should they? Come on.
If you need any help, call me.|- I will. Come on, man.
We've been puttin'|stuff down in the cellar.
Now the kid said there's|a big sewer pipe down there.
He couldn't get in because of|the wire and shit.
But we can use it to get outta here.
Looks like the coffee break's over.
His master's voice.
Go on in and lay down now.|- All right.
It isn't the comet, you know?
It's the broom.|- What?
Brooms.
Imagine you're a race of aliens, right?
And you're looking|for a new place to live.
You're lookin' for a planet like we|look for a new place to live.
A new house or something...
So here's Earth.
Only it's like this big old house...
...and it's polluted...
...dirty and smoky.
Grease on the walls,|soot in the chimney...
And they send their|interestellar cleaners...
...sending their broom.
Sweep us all up.
That's what it is, a broom.
They use the machines|to sweep us right up.
Mister!
Mister!
Come over here.
How are you doing?
Tired and scared.
I've got this plan.
Come on with this thing already.
Bitch!
We never gonna get out here.|Really.
Cool, champ!
Little human business to take care of,|some you wouldn't understand.
When I said run, you run, okay?
What you gonna do?|- Don't worry, just run, okay?
What you gonna do?
Run!
I ain't never seen a hero with|his ass in the air like that.
Hi, baby.
I bet there's spiders down there.
I hate anything with|more than four legs.
I can't do this!
I'm just gonna keep...|Oh, don't drop me now!
I just gotta see Curtis if you drop me.
What, Curtis?|- Just stay down.
I wish we could get outta here!
Holy shit!
Stay down, Bubba. Holy shit!
Jesus is coming and he is pissed.
Can we get outta here?|- Yeah, it's time to get outta here.
Let's go, gang! Let's go.
Let's go.
My God!
That son-of-a-bitch is goin' up again.
God almighty!|- Move it!
Yeah.|- Come on, let's go!
Come on, go, go!
How far, Bill?|- To the Marina?
About a half a mile.
humans here, humans here...
humans here, humans here...
Humans here, humans here.|- For my dad, shit head son-of-a bitch!
I don't want this anymore.
I got him!|- Curt!
Curtis!
Hurry up, you guys!|Come on, get in the boat!
Right there is the one|I was thinkin' about.
We better hurry up.|It's getting light.
Bill, where's Brad?
Adios, mother fucker!
What happens with it? Mother's helper!
Come here! Somebody|help me with these things!
You think we're gonna be all right?
Deke, I know|everything's gonna be all right.
Curtis, when can we get off this boat?|You know I get seasick.
I think I'm gonna whoops my cookies!