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McDull: Rise of the Rice Cooker (2016)
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The most impossible things... The things that we thought... Only the dumbest kids... would believe... Are actually happening! A monster from outerspace suddenly... Appeared and invaded the Earth! Fire! Ahh! Ha ha ha ha All conventional weapons reported of no avail! General, we can't hold on! Permission to engage weapons of last resort, General Woah! Get me the President! Ah Ya Ah Ya ! Mr. President, are you OK? Mr. President, launching weapons of last resort Please, the passwords Ah Ah Ah Ah! Ah Ah Ah Ah! Ah Ah Ya Ya! Ah Ah Ya Ya! Ya Ah Ya Ah! Ya Ah Ya Ah! Ya Ya Ah Ah! Ya Ya Ah Ah! General, what are you... Ah-ah-ya-ya-ing about? Just punch in some letters! Heavens, forgive me What's that? A sun-dried Chinese sausage! No. I am Spamerman from the Planet Galanta! The personification of justice Here to safeguard peace in the universe! Monster You evil, wicked, spiteful monster Spamerman is here to teach you a lesson Gotcha! Monster But I, Spamerman... But I, Spamerman... Am not an average violent Superhero Earthlings. If the monster would apologize... Can you forgive him? No answers? I take that as a yes You! Be good! Say sorry to the Earthlings! S-O-R-R-Y, sorry C'mon, everybody roots for the monster Sorry! Everybody. S-O-R-R-Y, sorry Louder, I can't hear you All our friends up there inside the bobmers, S-O-R... The folks on the rooftop, R.Y... Brothers and sisters on the run S-O-R-R-Y And the family audiences! Everybody! S-O-R-R-Y, sorry S-O-R-R-Y Sor-ry Where did you go? Nowhere. Just went out for a bit What happened to your ass? It's all swollen Have you been misbehaving again? Alright. I know what I'm doing Alright alright, alright my foot! It really stinks! Ah Ya, Ya Ya Ya Ah Ah Ah... The human race is on the precipice of extinction There's no one to help us except ourselves Let us put together our wisdom and courage To create a bigger robot to meet this challenge As our enemy is an unknown We have no specific strategies Here I entreat each and every Earthling To come up with your design for the robot The robot that you design... Could very well be the nemesis of the outerspace monster That's right! It could be you! Protect our Earth, our homeland! Earth! Earth! I will design a super robot To protect the Earth and save the human race For wonton noodles, McKee Go straight, turn left, that's Ying Kee For Tofu pudding, McKee Go straight, make a turn, that's Kai Kee For fishballs and chicken feet, McKee Go straight, cross the road, that's Dull Jai Kee For fish congee and beef brisket, McKee Kong Jai Kee, mail for you Go straight, cross the road, that's Sung Kee Lee On Kee, mail for you Hon Kee Morning Morning For sponge cakes, McKee Go straight, turn left, that's Kun Kee For baked pork chops with fried rice, McKee Chiu Fat, mail for you Morning Go straight, make a turn, that's Bing Kee What delicious fishballs & chicken feet, McKee Go straight, cross the road, that's Dull Jai Kee For foods that make you feel full, McKee Dull Jai Kee! Hey! Watch out, four-eyes! Let's get some ice cream after the meal Sigh... (Three Days Ago) Mcdull, hanging clothes? Yummy! Yummy! Everybody eats! Everybody eats! You eat I don't eat! You eat I don't eat! No! No! Good, very good The summer vacation will begin in a few days You have learned in the previous year... The fundamentals of salting fish... Mixing fish meat and making fishballs Next year We will be teaching you advanced skills in... Salting fish, mixing fish meat and making fishballs There are summer courses over the next two months... In salting fish, mixing fish meat and making fishballs Which I urge you to join You may return to your classrooms Goodbye, Mr. Principal Your fishballs are disgusting! Don't you help out in your mom's shop? No, she doesn't want me to Says it's really hard work All the more reasons to help her. You're impossible No. Mom wants me to spend more time... On inventing a machine that you just plug it in, And fishballs will come out There can never be such machines Stop dreaming! All the more reasons to invent it I am an inventor Inventor? You ever saw an inventor... That has a pig head on his neck? Mcdull, hanging clothes? Meal time! Mom, come see my new invention. Let's eat first. When you eat fishball skewers The skewer always gets your throat at the last fishball But if there are tines on the skewer... With one fishball on each tine... Then your throat won't get hurt. Right? Like chicken feet? Right. There are no such skewers. No? Why don't you ask those factories? OK. Let me write to them Let's have dinner first! OK. Mom, it's so good Oh, right. Here Eh? Science Duckling! Mom, How did you know about this magazine? Toto told me. He said... Mom, look This guy Newton, he's a pighead And this Edison Look, what a pighead Read it after dinner, pighead Mom, let's visit Toto tomorrow Again? It's OK. He said it's OK. Mom, please! (Two Days Ago) OK Auntie Shrimp Mcdull! Didn't you say you'd invent something for me? I'm working on it. Any day now Toto! Mcdull, going to town? That's fine. This came in two days ago Guess what? An electric nose hair shaver Stick it inside your nostrils, turn it on... And it shaves off all your nose hairs Here, remove the cover And it becomes a peeler, for potatoes, carrots... Even the dead skin on your feet Put the cover back on, and it's a nose hair shaver again Wow! Mom, let's buy this Nose hair, Potatoes and dead skin, three-in-one! Oh, and this Military strength light wave oven It can roast chickens and bake sweet potatoes Ah, and this is even better! Ever did the hula hoop sitting down? Voila! Hula stool! Sit on it, and the stool starts twisting this way and that Twisting this way and that just like doing hula hoop Exercising, eating sweet potatoes and... Foot massage, all at the same time! Want to try? Mom, I want to try Here is the speed control This knob controls the directions Mom, this is great! The Science Duckling has arrived Thank you so much Science Duckling is good stuff If I didn't read it... as a kid and... Became interested in machines and electronics I'd still be salting fish in the village This silly boy Said he wanted to become an inventor An inventor? Mcdull wants to become an inventor I think I'm going to throw up milk (One Day Ago) Choo...choo...choo...choo Mcdull look. Newton, he's not a pighead And Edison, look No way he looks like a pighead Hello! I'd like some fishballs please We got business! Phew! One stick of fishballs please Goodness, what is this? Our invention, chicken feet fishballs How very disgusting OK, piggy How about a stick without the chicken feet? Hey! We've got a problem! Friend of the Earth, Savior of the Universe Superman, transform! Choo...choo...choo...choo Gosh! You know any inventor who's a retard? No So disgusting. I'm not eating it Okay okay. Let's go to other shops Did you see? When I grow up I'll never become a bitch! (The Same Day) Our invention, chicken feet fishballs Yuck! How disgusting! It's really ingenious It won't poke your throat, and you get a chicken paw This is too disgusting. Let's go Piggy piggy, don't be angry... Bitch S! O! R! R! Y! S! O! R! R! Y! Sor-ry What you just saw wasn't a television program A little while ago An outerspace monster invaded our planet, wreaking havoc And booted Spamerman, our friend of peace and justice... Out into outer space I repeat What you just saw wasn't some silly program for the ignoramus Attention, all pupils of Fresh Fish Primary School Attention, all pupils of Fresh Fish Primary School This is an emergency announcement from the principal All pupils please immediately assemble in the playground The Earth is at the precipice of extinction! As the supreme academy of learning of this village We also must do our share... In this sacred mission of saving the Earth This summer's activities, including salting fish and making fishballs, will all be cancelled Instead, we will design fighting robots! Your designs Will enter the Global Super Robot Competition Your projects may be implemented... To defeat the outerspace monster, And save our planet! Earth! Earth! Earth! Earth! Earth! Earth! Earth! I will design a super robot To protect the human race, and save the Earth! Mom, we sent out Our robot designs today Really? What have you designed? Why don't you first show it to mom? My robot. He can do this to the monster Chi-ley-kong-long! What's that? It's like this: chop chop chop chop! Bong bong bong bong! And cheeee! That'll get him I don't think I get you Mom... Do you think the monster prefer rice or noodles? How would I know? But mom... Do you know how the monster Cuts his toenails? His toenails must be so big and thick... Maybe with an electric saw? Wow, he'll cut himself Well, serves him right. He's the monster What if his ass itches? What his ass itches? I mean, the monster's arms are so short He can't reach his ass if it itches What do you care about the monster reaching his ass? Right, mom! I have something for you It's for you Wow! Dried abalone Good for braising chicken feet Haha... I learned it from this edition of Science Duckling It's handmade soap It'll make the skin of your hands so smooth But only for a while No. Your hands will become smooth forever It's Newton's Law of Inertia! Really? Why, thank you! Now go to sleep And you... Moon Sea Ships Hand Mom Mom (One month later) And now the good news Results of the Global Robot Design Contest have come in Out of the hundreds and thousands of entries A pupil of Fresh Fish Primary School, Mcdull Right. Mcdull of Dull Jai Kee His design has been shortlisted and given the go ahead to produce a small robot from his design... And take part in the Finals at the renowned institution MI But... who can help him make the robot? We interviewed the only expert in our village Dull Jai Kee, that's awesome! Hong Kee from Hong Kee Hydroelectric Engineering Co. I can only change lightbulbs Maybe go into town and ask Toto? No, I can't. How about Hong Kee? That's all right To get shortlisted is already an amazing achievement Here we congratulate Dull Jai Kee Mrs. Mak, Mcdull... What are your plans? I have no plans. We probably go out for a meal Only a meal? What more can I do? Look! Your legs are so smooth There's not a hair on it What kind of razor did you use? Toto's nose hair shaver And it gave you such smooth legs? That's laser What? Hair removal by laser, mole removal too Yes, I am a hermit scientist I am quite capable of making a small robot But honestly I'd spent all my money on this laser machine It will depend on you to foot the bills for the robot How much would that be? Including parts, airfare, room & board, etc. 80,000 to 100,000 80,000 to 100,000? That's making an extra 10,000 catty of fishballs Personally I'm not so keen on all this trouble But as I study Mcdull's design Going over it again and again I think Perhaps Mcdull wasn't born to be a scientific genius His design may not save the Earth But I think there's a very special innocence... About his views on technology... And that more people should know about it I don't know how to say it You're his mom, you call the shots I am already dirt poor as it is Don't worry. There's no interest. Tell Mcdull to work hard But that isn't right? It's very right Mama, Mama Your eyes love me You see me on Earth and in South Pole Mama, Mama You close your eyes and see me You see me in dreams on a full moon But one day I will drift away From Nigeria to Antalya But Mama, Mama You will see me See me on the Earth and in craters Mcdull, you crying? No...I got sand in my eyes... From Tutunendo to Baltimore But Mama, Mama Mcdull! You close your eyes and see me Make good! You see me in dreams on a full moon Mom loves you! We are here at MIT, where the Finals will take place From up here we can see The convoy arriving. Carrying the robots from around the world What're you doing here in the middle of the night? Just those Earth things What Earth things? Don't ruin your brains I'm OK. Go to sleep Okay okay. Okay my foot Protector of the Earth! The ultimate union of human intelligence and courage The audience of the universe by our witness The Earth! The Good Fight! The panel of judges, Five-star Gen. O'Leannain Dr. M, Dean of the MI Robot Research Institute Mike Tiger, Six-time world boxing champion Wow! Awesome! Mr. Principal, are we not opening the box? Wait until the competition begins If it gets scratched It'll be a disaster The competition is in two rounds First, The robots will go through tests of stamina and endurance The first five robots to finish this part... Will enter Round 2, The Fight The winner will be our best robot warrior The final hope for the Earth's salvation! Mr. Principal, someone knocked open the safety! Auto heat preservation The rice - is - ready! Let's - eat! Smells good! It's salted fish and rice Awesome! One of the contestants is a rice cooker! Dull Jai Kee! Way to go! Yeah! Final call, final call All contestants to the starting line Final call, final call OK, ready Looks like a storm is brewing Let's go Wait. Hand-held mode. 5 extra kilos long grain rice Risopot, you're on your own Start now! Boundless sea and open sky, here I come I can't slow down, got to save the human race Across the universe, througout the galaxy I anwser my duties and heed my calls Hardship and deprivation, here I come I train harder, to get me stronger My courage is tall, it reaches the sky My legs are mighty, strong and sturdy They say I am fleshy Sure I can down thirty bowls of rice But no I am not a pot of rice My name is Risobot I kick your stumps and knee your lungs I am fearless, I take on savagery I am strong like a wild beast I eat lots of rice, every day's a feast Loneliness and darkness, here I come I clear away the fog with my death ray gun Who else but me in the galaxy Singular, exceptional, anomalous Who else but me in the galaxy Singular, exceptional, anomalous Who else but me in the galaxy Have the stomach for a full bucket of rice Already a robot is approaching the first charging station No wonder its inventor is West Point's youngest cadet Lenni This robot is so nasty Not only are the robots running out of energy There's also thunder and lightning in the sky I think we better leave No, wait Gosh! It's seafood tempura rice Thank you, Risopot It's late. Children should go to bed But we haven't brushed our teeth yet Because we don't have toothbrushes We'll get cavities So troublesome. Let's go ask someone then McDull, it's OK. Go to sleep Go to sleep I want a midnight snack You're on your won They are back! The last robot to make it to Round 2 So? That's it. I don't see any robot behind us The result is standing right here! Ladies and gentlemen, the Earth Warrior is born! Let's get back to the hotel first and find out Hey, want to get a hotdog? It's that rice cooker again 5! There's just a little rice left. Recharge! There's no time. Get some water Risopot! More water! Congee! It's riceless congee from Guangdong province The winner! Risopot is the winner! Time and again Risopot... Challenges my limit of rational thinking I believe that any invader... Coming up against such an unpredictable opponent... Will surely be roundly defeated The designer of Risopot... Will have all of Earth's resources at his disposal To create a bigger... and more powerful robot for humanity The fate of life on Earth, is now in your hands! Mcdull! Goodness! Isn't that Pighead Dumpling? Ha ha ha ha How are you doing lately? Good, quite good Still chewing chicken feet? Ha ha ha Busying about what? Laser? Ha ha ha More or less You just won't give up Suk Yin... How is she? Oh, we broke up When did that happen? Ancient history now. Don't let it trouble you Let's get some hotdogs Suk Yin, I miss you so much! Suk Yin, I'll always love you! Congee King, already famous for their... Fresh ingredients and hand-made fishballs... Presents their newest "Riceless Congee Hotpot stock" So good! So delicious! Slow down, Mrs. Mak Can't. I owe people lots of money Why is the new robot called Risobot? Right, Mrs. Mak We've been here a few days but never saw Chief Mak What Chief Mak? The chief designer, Mcdull So, let's run down to Congee King! For reservations, please call 2587-5116! Gee... Chief Mak! Chief Mak! They already started The Gucci people say... they'll personally take your measurements They say no people could be in such shape Let me finish the theme music Uncle Fai, let's try this DaDaDaDaDa And then, DaDaDaDaDa What music is this? It's just DaDaDaDa That's what Beethoven did DaDaDaDaDa That's fine. Just leave it to me Thank you, Uncle Fai The cheerleaders are ready; Uniforms are almost confirmed The theme music is done. We're all set But we haven't started on the robot April, do you have any skirts? Skirts? All girls have skirts April, are you free tomorrow? Why? You asking me for a date? Yes. Let's hang out tomorrow I want to join Reporters. Let's get out of here Oh, they... Just in time. I am about to close shop We'd like... Chicken feet fishballs, our specialty Mom What are you looking for? I want to get my clothes I haven't washed them It's OK. I'll do it myself Sure you'll do it Your daughter? What daughter? This is my son So this is Mcdull? The destiny of planet Earth is now in the hands of... The pighead in a wig? High-tech my foot. So slow April, these pants are too tight That's why they are called tights Hong Kee, I think we're all set Done C'mon Risobot, start the engine! Oops! Not quite yet I'd gone over your design many times And still couldn't figure it out But I'll install the functions you want... into Risobot Mcdull! Risopot will connect to Risobot's central nervous system... To become Risobot's brains You must teach Risopot properly Because only Risopot can make heads and tails... Out of your balderdash design Now go! Mr. Principal, I want to go pee! Mr. Principal, I want to go pee! Mr. Princiapl, I want to go pee! Breaking news. The outerspace monster has launched... An attack on Didiland, wreaking havoc The army is fighting back, but it's a struggle Monster, it's true that we lost to a rice cooker But we are no scrap metal! What a stink! Astronomers have been sending... SOS's to Spamerman But his answer was... Sorry... I have some domestic issues that need taking care of Maybe next time! S.O.R... Looks like our last hope in saving the Earth... Is our ultra super robot... Risobot But where is Risobot? And how powerful is he? All these remain unknown Careful when you cross the road Careful when you cross the road Hold your hands and make good friends Hold your hands and make good friends The rooster crows, croak croak croak The rooster crows, croak croak croak Get out of bed and go to school No, don't get out of bed. I'm just saying it Oh, just saying it Be a host and share your food Oh, rice balls! With salty fish inside! That monster... would he like rice balls? I think he might What kind of rice should we use? Right... Not sure if they can grow rice in outerspace And... Itchy asses? What? His hands are so short, how does he reach over? General, 100 days. It's a promise Lenni, are you OK? Yes father! Wonderful! Dr. M! Credits to your decoy, General The rice cooker... gets all the media attention... When this is over, please apologize for me to your old friend Old friend? Ha ha ha ha Why did you take my light ray gun to roast chicken? Light ray guns are made to roast chickens Suk Yin... is mine I object! Mr. Principal, how much longer? What? Another 100 days? Not days, years. 100 years? That's not possible Unless we switch to manual operation But where can we find a team that has... Stamina, perseverance and explosion? We collect bad debts, Isn't that explosive? We mix a hundred catty of fishballs a day Isn't that perseverance? What about us old folks? Honestly, we are the world's 10 richest men With us Big Ten working together There aren't many things that can stand in our way OK... have you eaten dinner? What? Yes Take off your clothes Our pants too? Look! Gosh! What smooth legs! Didn't you have your meals? Where's your strength? Finally, Risopot has transformed into Risobot The fate of the Earth is in your hands Dadada...dadada Moon Moon Sea Sea Land Land Look Look Warm Warm zzz zzz Easy Easy Comfort Comfort Moon Moon Shine Shine The moon is so beautiful tonight Uncle Fai, please Finally! The long-awaited savior of the Earth... Robot Risobot will make his appearance any time now Oh. They are wearing wigs The world's ten richest men, who disappered for a while... Have surfaced here tolend their support Risobot! Start the engine Risobot, blow the whistle Hey! Hurry! Get ready for taking off! Mcdull, go for it! No! It's getting really close to the presidential palace Where the president is meeting... with other world leaders Is it really going to be the end? Engage! 100 degrees! 300CC! Target! Go! Three minutes. We can eat now Prepare for landing You are here Risobot! Start the engine 30 degree, spin speed 1,000rpm, Eco function Really? A washing machine? Let's... Wait We have time. Let Risobot say hi... To the planet's TV audiences The camera is over there Risobot, how are you? I am fine How are you? I am fine How are you? I am fine Risobot! Breaking news from the Department of Defence... Their secret weapon, the super robot Leosisto Senior is ready It is the culmination of... man's fighting powers... And is now ready to take on the outerspace monster Let's try ours. If it fails, we go to your washing machine Lenni! Yes, teacher! Mcdull... Mr. Principal, we're off now. We have major responsibilities Study hard. Come work in my wig factory when you grow up Monster, your acts of aggression are despicable and vulgar But in the name of peace, I am willing to let you go But you must apologize to the Earthlings. Now say sorry! S.O.R.R.Y! Sorry! The TV audiences S.O.R.R.Y! SOR-RY! Gosh! You crying? Cross the road Be careful Hold your hands Make good friends Goodbye. Risobot The fate of the Earth is in your hands That's Leosisto's under... Risobot! Start the turbine! Be a host Share your food It drank, it's dead meat! Fresh egg tarts! Suk Yin, 30 long years... Risobot, the laser gun It's burnt! Protect the president Fire Fire Mcdull... Risobot, the rooster crows. Rise and shine... croak croak. croak croak. croak croak. Risobot, blow the whistle It's useless. Mr. Principal? We're out of power. Unless there are power banks... Oh, you mean those? See? we are not scrap metal But power bank bank bank... Risobot, start the engine! Dadada...Dadada Dadada...Dadada It's Beethoven No, it's pighead's...Dadada Dadada...Dadada Dadada...Dadada Dadada...Dadada Twist Twist Buttock, Buttock Buttock, Buttock Twist your buttock Comfy, comfy Oink, zzz Moon...moon... Hi everyone, it's me again The ambassador of peace, the personification of justice From the Planet Galanta, Spamerman I have devised a new move: The Upside-down Sausage... To take care of the monster But guess I am a little late the Upside-down Sausage... What a bummer. So why don't I... Engage my beautiful voice to relieve you of your doldrums Uncle Fai, please The mountain is quiet and the moon is alone, remember There's passion in the heart The wind passes and the flower wilts, remember The passion in my heart will not die Remember our dinner, Mcdull (A Year Later) (Early Spring) Afterwards you said you wanted to die Love dissipates but my heart remembers How you suddenly open your heart, in tears It's really in the doldrums A year went by. The monster has not returned Normalcy returns And it's like nothing has ever happened But where has Risobot gone? Nobody knows Why did the designer Mcdull... Invent this piece of home applicance... to challenge the monster? Nobody understands People return to work or school But everyone feels a little depressed Everyone is missing Risobot After our feast your thoughts turned dark Love dissipates but my heart remembers Then one day A robot received a broken message... From some stars or planets The experts patched it together, and it said... Mr. Principal, Mcdull, friends, this is Risobot I am now living on the monster's planet. I am well They like me a lot, and using my designs... Invented many vacuum cleaners, ventilators and massagers Their days are quiet and they are happy So they stay home and stop invading other planets They also started growing rice The first harvest is expected this autumn If there's anything missing here... Here they have nine suns, but no moon What I miss most, is the Earth And the moon hanging over the slopes The experts are divided over this message Some say it's authentic, some say no... And consider it Risobot's thought remnants... While Risobot has long become space rubbish But Dull Jai Kee, Mcdull, is convinced that... The one thing most worthy of pursuit, Is to let you and the people around you live a good life They'd include: Monster, Spamerman Uncle Dragon... Gen. O'Leannain... Dr. M... Bitch... Mom... Suk Yin... The Principal... Auntie Shrimp... Hong Kee... Toto... Uncle Fai... April... Icy... Lenni... Miss Chan... The President... Risobot, thank you! Life... We will live a good life... Mcdull! When I grow up I'll marry you! |
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