Yeah, D.B.
Just cleaning out the deadwood. OK.
Look Mr. Connell. I just can't afford to be without
work. I've got a mother and two kid sisters.
More good-luck telegrams...
You know how it is. I've just got to keep on working,
see?
Sorry sister. I was sent down here to clean house. I
told you I can't use your column anymore.
It's lavender and no lace.
Send those other people in.
I'll tell you what I'll do. I get 30 dollars a week. I'll
take 25, 20 if necessary. I'll do anything you say
It isn't the money. We're after circulation.
What we need is fireworks.
People getting hit with sledgehammers.
Start arguments.
I can do that. I know this town inside out. Oh,
give me a chance!
Come in, come in, come in...
Cashier's got your check. Who are these people?
Gabs, Frawley, Cunningham, Jiles...
Hey sister, don't forget to get out your last column
before you pick up your check.
You're a couple of sticks shy in your column, Mam.
Big, rich slob like D.B. Norten buys the paper and 40
heads are chopped off!
Did you get it too?
Yeah, you too?
Oh, Joe. I'm sorry, darling.
Why don't we tear the building down?
Before you do ma'm, perhaps you'd better finish this
column.
Lavendar and Old Lace.
Wait Joe! Wait.
He want fireworks, huh?
Okay.
Here.
Below is a letter which reached my desk this morning.
It's a commentary on what we laughingly call a civilized world.
Dear Miss Mitchell. Four years ago,
I was fired out of my job.
Since then, I haven't been able to get another one.
At first I was sore at the administration because it's on account of
the slimy politics here we have all this unemployment.
But in looking around, it seems the whole world is going
to pot. So in protest, I am going to commit suicide...
...by jumping off the City Hall roof. Signed a
disgusted, American citizen, John Doe.
Editor's note, if you ask this column, the wrong people
are jumping off the roofs.
Hey, this is the old fake-a-roo,
Never mind that Joe, go ahead.
And it's because of the slimy politics that we have
all this unemployment here.
There it is. That's D.B. Norten's opening attack on
the Governor.
Why Jim, it's just a letter sent into a column.
No, no, I can smell it, that's Norten.
Good morning, gentlemen.
Good morning, Governor.
Governor, did you happen
to see this in the New Bulletin?
Yes, I had it served at my breakfast this morning.
Jim thinks it's D.B. Norten at work...
Of course it is.
Oh come, Jim. That little item. D.B. Norten does
things in a much bigger way
This is his opening attack on you Governor. Take my
word for it.
Why did he buy a paper for? Why did he engage a
high-pressure editor like Connell for?
He's in the oil business. I tell you Governor, he's after
your scalp.
All right Jim. Don't burst a blood vessel.
I'll look into it.
Yes sir?
Get me Spenser of the Daily Chronical please.
Yes, yes I saw it Governor. And if you ask me, that's
a phony letter.
Why that gag has got whiskers on it.
Ok I'll get the Mayor and maybe
the Chamber of Commerce to go after them.
Get Mayor Lovett on the phone.
Sorry the Mayor is busy on the other phone.
Yes I know Mrs. Brewster, it's a terrible reflection on
our city. I've had a dozen calls already.
Spencer from the Chronical.
Hold him. Just a minute.
Yes Mrs. Brewster. I'm listening.
I insist that this John Doe man be found,
and given a job at once.
If something isn't done about it,
I'll call the whole auxiliary.
Yes Spencer? Who? The Governor?
Well what about me? It's my
building he's jumping off of and I'm up for re-election too.
What are you doing? Get Connell at the Bullentin.
He's liable to go right past my window
Get me Connell.
What was that?
What?
Out the window Something just flew by
I didn't see anything.
Don't stand there you idiot. Go and look.
Open the window.
Oh why did he have to pick on my building? Is there
a crowd in the street?
No sir!
Maybe he's caught on the ledge, look again.
I think it must have been a sea gull
A sea gull? What's a sea gull doing around City Hall?
That's a bad omen, isn't it?
Oh no sir. The sea gull is a lovely bird.
It's all right Mrs. Brewster. It was just a sea gull. Nothing's
happened yet. I'm watching. Don't worry just leave it all to me.
Spencer, I'll call you back. Hello Connell?
This is... What are you doing? This is the Mayor.
Yes Mayor Lovett, how many times are you going to
call me?
Got everybody out looking for him. Did you see the
blacks I'm running?
An appeal to John Doe. Think it over John. Life can
be beautiful, says Mayor.
If you need a job, apply to the editor of this paper and
so forth and so forth.
Okay Mayor. I'll let you know as soon as I have
something. What?
Well, pull down the blinds.
I just came from Mrs. Mitchells house, and boy is she in a bad way.
Where is she?
Did you know she supports a mother and two kids.
What do you know about that?
Did you find her? No, her mother is awful worried about her. When
she left the house, she said she was going on a roaring drunk!
The girl, I mean.
Go out and find her.
Sure.
But the biggest thing I didn't tell you, is her old man is Dr. Mitchell.
You know the doc that saved my mother's life...
and wouldn't take any money for it. You remember that?
Okay boss, I'll go and look for her.
Holy smokes Commissioner, you've had 24 hours.
Okay, grab a pencil, here it is again.
About 5 foot 5, brown eyes, light chestnut hair, and a
fine of pair of legs as...
...ever walked into this office.
Did you want to see me?
No. I've had the whole army and navy out searching
for you because it's a game we play here everyday.
I remember distinctly being fired.
That's right, but you have a piece of property
that still belongs to this paper and I'd like to have it.
What's that?
The letter.
What letter?
The letter from John Doe.
The whole town's in an uproar. We've got to find him
and the letter is the only clue.
There is no letter.
Then get a handwriting expert to... What?
There is no letter.
Say that again.
There's no letter. I made it up.
You made it up?
Yes, you said you wanted fireworks.
Don't you know there are 9 jobs waiting for this guy ?
22 families want to board him free.
Five women want to marry him and a man is ready to
adopt him. And you...
Just called the morgue boss and they said there's a girl...
Shut up !
Ann! Say why didn't you...
Beany!
Only one thing to do Hank. Drop the whole business quickly
How?
Run a story saying John Doe was in here and he's
sorry he wrote the letter...
Sure. He came in here
and I made him change his mind.
Bulletin editor saves John Doe's life. Why it's perfect.
I'll have Ned write it up.
Oh Ned, I've got a story I want you...
Wait a minute.
Listen you great, big, wonderful genius of a
newspaper man...
You came down here to shoot
some life into this dying paper, didn't you?
Well the whole town is curious about John Doe
and just like that, you're going to bury him.
There's enough circulation in that man to start
a shortage in the ink market.
In what man?
John Doe.
What John Doe?
My John Doe! The one I made up.
Look genius. Suppose there was a John Doe
and he walked into this ofice. What would you do?
Find him a job and forget
about the whole business I suppose, huh?
Not me! I'd make a deal with him.
A deal?
Sure, when you get hold of a stunt that sells papers,
you don't drop it like a hot potato.
Why this is good for at least a couple of months.
Why, do you know what I'd do?
Between now and let's say Christmas, when he's going to jump,
I'd run a daily starting
with his boyhood, schooling, first job.
A wide-eyed youngster facing a chaotic world! The problem
of the average man, of all the John Doe's in the world.
Now, then comes the drama.
He meets discouragement, he finds
the world his feet of clay, his ideals crumble. So what does he do?
He decides to commit suicide and protest against the
state of civilization.
He thinks of the river but no. He has a better idea.
City Hall. But why?
Because he wants to attract attention.
He wants to get a few things
off his chest, and that's the only way he can get himself heard...
So?
So?
So he writes me a letter and I dig him up. He pours
out his soul to me.
And from now on we quote: I protest, by John Doe.
He protests against all the evils in the world.
The greed, the lust, the hate, the fear.
All of man's inhumanity to man.
Arguments will start.
Should he commit suicide, or should he not?
People will write in pleading with him.
But John Doe will remain adament. On Christmas Eve hot or cold, he goes!
See?
Very pretty indeed Miss Mitchell. But would you mind
telling me who goes on Christmas Eve?
John Doe!
What John Doe!?
The one we hire for the job, you lunk-head.
Wait a minute.
Let me get this through this lame brain of mine.
Are you suggesting that we go out and hire someone to
say that he is going to commit suicide on Christmas Eve?
Now you're catching on.
Who for instance?
Anybody, Beany will do.
Sure...
What, who me... jump off a... anytime but Christmas.
I'm superstitious.
Miss Mitchell, do me a favor. Go on out and get married and
have a lot of babies, but stay out of newspaper business.
Better get that story in Hank,
it's getting late.
You're supposed to be a smart guy If it was raining 100 dollar bills,
you'd be out looking for a dime you lost some place.
Holy smokes. Wasting my time,
listening to this mad woman.
Look Chief what the Chronical is writing on John Doe.
They say it's a fake.
Why the no good! John Doe story amature
journalism.
It's probably phony and it's a wonder that anyone is
taking it seriously. What do you think of those guys?
That's fine! Now fall right into their laps. Go ahead.
Say John Doe walked in
and called the whole thing off.
You know what that's going to sound
like on top of this.
That's all, Ned. Thank you.
All right.
Amature journalism huh?
Why the bunch of sophomores, I can teach them more...
Hey boss, get a load of this.
What?
Look.
What do they want?
They all say they wrote the John Doe letter.
Oh, they all wrote the letter?
Tell them all to wait.
Mr. Connell, one of those men is your John Doe.
They're desparate and will do anything
for a cup of coffee.
Pick one out and you can make the Chronical eat their words.
I'm beginning to like this.
If you ask me Hank, your beginning to play around with dynomite.
No, no, no, the gal's right.
Can't let the Chronicle get the laugh on us.
We've got to produce a John Doe now.
Amature journalism, huh!
I'll show those guys.
Sure, and there's no reason for them to find out the truth,
because naturally I won't say anything.
OK sister, you'll get your job back
Plus a bonus.
What bonus?
Oh the bonus of 1000 dollars that the Chronicele
was going to pay me for this little document.
You'll see it says, I Miss Mitchell,
do hereby certify that the John Doe letter was created by me...
I can read, I can read.
Sorry...
You think this is worth 1000 dollars, do you?
The Chronicle will consider it dirt cheap.
Packs everything, including a gun. OK sister,
you've got yourself a deal.
Now let's take a look at the candidates.
The one we pick has got to be
the typical average man.
Typical, American and can keep his mouth shut.
Show me an American who can keep his mouth shut,
and I'll eat him.
Okay Beany, bring them in, one at a time...
Did you write that letter to Miss Mitchell?
No, I didn't.
Why are you here then?
Well the paper said there was some jobs around.
Thought there might be one left over.
Have any schooling?
Yeah, a little.
What do you do when you work?
I used to pitch.
Baseball?
Yeah, till the wing went bad.
Where'd you play?
Bush leagues, mostly
How about family? Got any family?
No.
Oh, just travelling through huh?
Yeah, me and a friend of mine. He's outside.
He looks all right.
Oh, he's perfect and a baseball player What could be more American?
Wish he had a family though.
Be less complicated without a family.
His face is wonderful.
They'll believe him! Come on.
What's your name?
Willaby. Long John Willaby they called me in baseball.
Would you like to make some money?
Yeah... maybe...
Would you be willing to say you wrote that letter and stick by it.
I get the idea. Yeah, maybe.
That's our man, he's made to order.
I don't know. He don't seem
like the kind of guy that will fall in line.
When you're desparate for money, you'll do a lot of
things Mr. Connell. He's our man, I tell you...
He's fainted. Get some water, quickly
Right here, sit down.
You all right?
Yeah, I'm all right.
How many is that, six?
Pretty hungry, weren't you?
All this John Doe business is batty if you ask me.
Well, nobody asked you.
Trying to improve the world by jumping off buildings.
You couldn't improve the world,
if the buildings jumped on you.
Don't mind the Colonel, he hates people.
He likes you well enough to stick around.
That's cause we both play doo-hickies.
I met him in a boxcar a couple of years ago.
I was fooling around with my
harmonica and he comes over and joins in.
I haven't been able to shake him since.
All right boys, here he is.
No, you can't take pictures of him like that,
eating a sandwich and with a beard.
But he's going to jump of a building.
Yes, but not because he's out of a job. That's not news.
This man's going to jump as a matter of principal.
Maybe you're right.
We'll clean him up, put him in a hotel under bodyguards.
We'll make a mystery out of him.
Did you speak to Mr. Norten?
He thinks it's terrific.
He says for us to go the limit.
Wants us to build a bonfire under every bigshot in the state.
Oh, swell!- Is that the contract?
Yeah.
What's he doing here?
A friend of his, they play duets together
Duets? But can we trust him?
I trust him.
Oh you trust him, well that's fine.
I suppose he trusts you too.
Oh stop it now. He's all right.
Okay, but we don't want any more than
a couple of hundred people in on this thing.
Now the first thing I want is an exact copy
of the John Doe letter in your own handwriting.
I've got it already here.
That's fine.
Now I want you to sign this agreement.
It gives us an exclusive story under your name, day
by day, from now until Christmas.
On December 26, you get one railroad ticket,
out of town.
And they agree to have your arm fixed.
That's what you want, isn't it?
Yeah, but it's got to be by Bone, Set or Brown.
OK, Bone, Set or Vrown goes.
Here sign it. Meanwhile, here is 50 dollars, spending
money.
That's fine. Beany, take charge of him.
Get him a
suite at the Imperial and some bodyguards.
He needs some new clothes Beany.
Do you think we'd better have him de-loused?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Both of them?
Yes, both of them, but don't let them out of your sight.
Hey Beany, grey suit huh?
Yeah.
Okay fellows...
Take it easy John Doe.
And you, start pounding that typewriter.
Oh boy this is terrific.
No responsibilites on our part, just statements
from John Doe and we can blast our heads off.
Before you pop too many buttons,
don't forget to make that check out for 1000.
You sit outside the door, to make sure no one comes
in.
You two fellows sit in here.
Pretty nifty, huh?
He ain't going to get me to stay here.
Sure you are.
No sir, that spot under the bridge, where we slept last
night, is good enough for me...
Say, what do I do with this baggage?
Stick them in the bedroom.
Give me mine, I ain't staying.
You know we were headed for the Columbia River Country
before all this John Doe business came up, don't you?
Sure, I remember.
Say, did your ears pop coming up in the elevator?
Mine did.
Oh Long John, I tell you it's no good. You're going to
get used to a lot of stuff that's going to wreck you.
Why that 50 bucks in your pocket is beginning to
show up on you already...
And don't pull that on me neither.
Stop worrying. I'm going to get my arm fixed out of this.
Hey, here are some cigars the boss sent us. Have one.
You?
No.
Say I bet you even the Major Leaguer's
don't rate an outfit like this.
Here make yourself comfortable. Paper?
I don't read no papers, and I don't listen to no radios either.
I know the world has been shaved by a drunken
barber, and I don't have to read it.
I've seen guys like you go under before.
Guys that never had a
worry, then got a hold of some dough and went goofy.
The first thing that happens to a guy...
Hey did you get a load of the bedroom?
No.
The first thing that happens to a guy like that is
he wants to go into restaurants and sit down at a table
and eat salads and cupcakes and tea.
Boy what that kind of food does to your system.
The next thing the dope wants is a room.
Yes sir, a room
with steam heat, and curtains and rugs!
And before you know it he's all softened up
and can't sleep unless he has a bed.
Hey stop worrying. Fifty bucks ain't going to ruin me.
I've seen plenty of fellows start out with 50 bucks and
wind up with a bank account.
What's the matter with a bank account?
Let me tell you Long John that when
you become a guy with a bank account...
...they got you! Yes sir, they've got you.
Who's got him?
The Heelots!
Hey there's the City Hall's tower I'm suppose to jump
off of. It's even higher than this.
Who's got him?
The Heelots!
Hey, wait a minute! You're not supposed to jump until
Christmas Eve. Do you want to get me into a jam?
If it's going to get you in a jam, I'll do you a favor.
I won't jump.
And when they've got you,
you've got no more chance than a road-rabbit.
Who'd you say was going to get him?
Say, is this one of those places
where you ring if you want something?
Yeah, just use the phone.
Boy, I've always wanted to do this.
Look Doc, give me that again, will you?
Who's going
to get him?
The Heelots. Who are they?
Listen sucky, ever been broke?
Sure, mostly often.
All right you're walking alone. Nota nickle In your
jeans, you're as free as the wind, nobody bothers you.
Hundreds of people pass you by in every line of business.
Shoes, hats, automobiles, radios, furniture, everything.
And they're all nice loveable people.
And they let you alone, is that right?
Then you get a hold of some dough, and what
happens?
All those sweet, loveable people become Heelots!
A lot of heels. They begin creeping up on you,
trying to sell you something.
They get long claws...
Then they get a strangle-hold on you.
And you squirm and you duck and you holler
and you try to push them away, but you haven't got a chance. They've got you!
First thing you know, you own things. A car for instance.
Now your whole life is messed up with a lot more stuff.
You get license fees, and number plates, and gas, oil,
taxes, insurance...
...identifcation cards, letters, bills and flat
tires, dents and traffic tickets
and motorcycle parts, courtrooms, lawyers,
fines and a million and one other things.
And what happens?
You're not the free and happy guy you used to be.
You've got to have money to pay for all those things.
So you go after what the other fellow's got.
And there
you are, you're a Heelot yourself.
You win, Colonel, here take the 50.
Go on, get rid of it.
You bet I will, just as fast as I can.
I'm going to get some canned goods,
a fishing rod and the rest, I'm going to give away.
Give away?!
Hey, get me a pitcher's glove. I've got to get me some practice.
Say, he's giving it away. I'm going to get me some of that.
Hey come back here, you Heelot.
Will you send up 5 hamburgers with all the trimmings,
5 chocolate ice-cream sodas,
and 5 pieces of apple pie?
No, apple, with cheese. Yep, thanks.
Hello there!
Well, well, if it isn't the man about town.
All set, Miss Anne.
Oh yes, let's go.
Let's see, we want some action in
these pictures.
Action?
Yes.
No, no! This man is going to jump off a roof. Wait a
minute. Let me comb your hair.
Sit down.
There, that's better.
You know, he's got a nice face, hasn't he?
Yeah, he's pretty.
Here sit down. Quiet, egg-head.
All right, now a serious expression.
Can't, I'm feeling too good.
Oh come on, this is serious. You're a man disgusted
with all of civilization...
With all of it?
Yes, you're sore at the world, come on now!
Crabby guy. huh?
Yeah!
No, no!
No...
Now look, you don't have to smell the world.
But all those guys in the pictures.
Never mind those guys. All right, stand up.
Now let's see what you look like, when you protest.
Against what?
Against anything. Just protest.
You got me...
Look I'm the umpire. You just cut the heart of the plate with
your fast ball, and I called it a ball. What would you do?
Oh, you did, huh ?
Yeah.
Why can't you call them right,
you bone-headed...
I don't care whose picture they're publishing.
I still say this John Doe person
is a myth and you can quote me on that.
And I'm going to insist on his being produced for questioning.
You know as well as I do, that
this whole thing is being engineered
by a vicious man
with a vicious purpose Mr. D.B. Norten.
Connell and Mitchell are at the house.
Are they now? Come on.
Personally, I think it's just plain stupidity to drop it.
Now you should see his fan mail, thousands!
It's going over like a house on fire.
Why are you afraid of Connell?
It's doubled our circulation.
Yeah, but it's got everybody sore. Hands are being pulled.
The Governor is starting a liable suit.
What's more, they all know John Doe's a phony.
They insist on seeing him.
Let them see him. We'll go one better, they can also hear him.
You own a radio station Mr. Norten, why not put him on the air?
Watch out for this dame D.B.,
she'll drive you batty.
We can't let them get to this
bush-league pitcher and start pumping him.
Good night!
No telling what the screw-ball might do.
I walk in yesterday, here he is standing on a table
with a fishing pole, fly casting.
Take my advice and get him out of town,
before this whole thing explodes in our faces.
If you do that Mr. Norten, you're just
as much of a dumb-cluck as he is, excuse me.
You've got yourself a meal-ticket
and you hate to let him go.
Sure he's a meal ticket and I admit it. But, it is also a wind-fall
for somebody like Mr. Norten who's trying to crash National politics.
That's what you bought the newspaper for, isn't it?
You want to reach a lot of people, don't you?
Put John Doe on the air, and you can reach 130 million of them.
He can say anything he wants,
and they'll listen to him.
All right, we'll forget the Governor and the Mayor
and all the small-fry like that. This can arouse National interest.
If he made a hit around here, he could do every other place
in the country.
And you'll be pulling the strings Mr. Norten.
Go down to the office
and arrange for some radio time.
But D.B. You're not going to fall...
I want it as soon as possible.
Okay, I just came in to get warm myself. Come on,
let's go.
Now don't you go, I want to talk to you.
Sit down.
So, this John Doe idea was yours, huh?
Yes, sir.
How much money do you get?
30 dollars.
Thirty dollars...
What are you after,
I mean what do you want?
A journalistic career?
Money!
Money, well I'm glad to hear somebody admit it.
Do you suppose you could write
a radio speech that would put that fellow over?
Oh, I'm sure I can. Do it and I'll give you 100 dollars a week.
100 dollars?
That's only the beginning. You play your cards right,
and you'll never have to worry about money again.
Oh I knew it.
Hello.
Whenever there's a pretty woman around... my nephew Ted Sheldon.
How do you do?
How do you do?
All right Casanova, I'll give you a break.
See that Miss Mitchell gets a car to take her home.
Always reading my mind, aren't you?
Thank you very much for everything.
Oh Miss Mitchell. I think from now on, you'd better
work directly with me.
Yes sir.
I thought you were asleep.
Oh you little brats!
Come, come, come children. It's past your bedtime.
Now take pooch downstairs.
I'm done. I'll never get this speech right.
Oh yes you will, Anne dear, you're very clever.
Yes, I know.
What are you looking for?
Your purse, I need 10 dollars.
What for, I gave you 50 just the other day
Yes I know dear, but Mrs. Burke had her baby yesterday.
Nine pounds, and there wasn't a thing in the house.
And the community chest lady came...
And the 50 is all gone. Who is the 10 for?
The Websters...
The Websters.
You remember those lovely people
your father used to take care of.
I thought I'd buy them some groceries.
Oh Anne dear, it's a shame those...
You're marvelous!
You're just like father used to be.
Do you realize
that a couple of weeks ago, we didn't have enough to eat ourselves?
Yes I know dear, but these people are in such need.
And we have plenty now...
If you are thinking of that 1000 dollars forget it.
It's practically all gone.
We owed everybody in town. None you've just got to stop giving your money away
Oh Anne...
I'm sorry, Ma.
Don't pay any attention to me.
I guess I'm just upset about all this.
Here I am with a great opportunity to get somewhere.
To give us security for once in
our lives and here I'm stuck.
If I can put this over, your Mrs. Burke can have 6 babies.
You mean this speech you're writing.
Yeah, I don't know. I simply can't get it to gel.
I created somebody who's going to give up his life for a principal.
Hundreds of thousands of people are going
to listen to him over the radio.
And unless he says something that is sensational, well, it's just no good.
Well honey, of course I don't know
what kind of speech you're tying to write,
but judging from the samples I've read,
I don't think anybody will listen.
What?
Darling, there's so many complaining political speeches,
people are tired of hearing nothing
but doom and despair on a radio...
...If you can have him say anything, why not have him
say something simple and real. Something with hope in it.
If your father were alive, he'd know what to say.
Yeah, Father certainly would.
Wait a minute.
That's your father's diary Anne
Father's? I never knew he had a diary.
There's enough in it for 100 speeches.
Things people ought to hear nowadays.
You be careful of it, won't you dear? It's always help
keep your father alive for me.
You bet I will Ma.
Wait a minute. John Doe don't want to sign no
autographs.
What does he do all day?
What does he do all day? He's writing all these memories.
Sorry Eddie, you can't see Mr. Doe. He wants to be alone.
No, he just sits around all day and commutes with himself.
I don't know how you're going to stand it around here
until after Christmas?
I bet you ain't heard a crying whistle in two weeks.
Strike!
I know why you are hanging around.
You're stuck on the girl.
That's all a guy needs, is to get hooked up with a
woman.
What was that, a single?
First baseman dropped the ball.
Butter-fingers!
Tough Luck, pal.
If a guy has a woman on his hands, first thing you
know, his life is balled up with a lot more things...
Did you get him?
You're out!
Swell.
What's this, the end of the eighth?
Ninth!
Hey Beany, there's a couple of mugs from the
Chronicle snooping around out here...
Come on angel-face.
Gangway.
What's the score angel-face? Three to two.
Gee, that's great !
Hey, you've got swell form there.
You must have been a pretty good pitcher.
Pretty good? I was just about ready for the Major League,
when I chipped a bone in my elbow
I got it pitching a 19 inning game.
19?
There was a Major League scout
there watching me too.
He came down, after the game, with a contract.
You know what? I couldn't lift my arm to sign it.
I'll be Okay though, as soon as I get it fixed up.
It's too bad.
What do you mean too bad, huh ?
Oh, that you'll never be able to play again.
What are you talking about,
I just told you I was...
Well you know how they are in baseball.
If a guy is messed up in a racket...
A racket? What do you mean?
I was just thinking about this John Doe business.
As soon as it comes out it was all a fake, you'll be
washed up in baseball, won't you?
Yeah...
Doggone, I never thought about that.
And another thing.
What about all the kids in the country?
Kids that idolize ball players.
What are they going to think about you?
Yeah. Hey Colonel!
Did you hear that?
I've got to figure some way out of this thing.
Elevators are still running.
I know one way you can do it.
How?
Well when you get up there on the radio, all you've got to do
is say the whole thing is a frame-up.
It'll make you a hero, sure as you're born.
Yeah but, how am I going to get my arm fixed?
That's a cinch.
I know someone who'll give you 5000 dollars,
just to get up on the radio and tell the truth.
5000 dollars?
Yeah, 5000 dollars and he gets it right away
You don't have to wait until Christmas.
Look out Long John, they're closing in on you.
Say, who's putting up this dough?
The fellow that runs the Chronicle.
Here's a speech you'll make,
and it's all written out for you.
5000 dollars. Holy Mackeral, I can just see the
Heelots coming, a whole army of them.
It's on the level.
No I'm sorry. Tickets for the broadcast are all gone.
Phone the Bulletin.
Sorry, no more tickets left.
Hello John, all set for the big night?
Turn around.
Big smile Mr. Doe.
Hold still.
Okay that's enough, take them out.
Here's the speech. It's in caps and double spaced, you
won't have any trouble reading it. Not nervous, are you?
No!
Of course not, he wouldn't be.
Who?
John Doe, the one in there.
Don't let your knees rattle,
it picks up on the mike.
You needn't be nervous John,
all you need to remember is be sincere.
Take the phone Miss Mitchell. It's for you.
Okay.
Hello? Yes, mother.
Oh thank you, darling.
Oh there he is, the poor dear man.
Good luck to you, Mr. Doe.
We want you to know
that we're all for you.
Have you got the speech I gave you?
Yeah.
I'll give this money to the Colonel
just as soon as you get started.
We'll have a car waiting at the side entrance for you.
Okay.
How'd you get in here?
Oh, I just came in to wish him luck.
Out. Mother says good luck too.
John, when you
read that speech, please believe every word of it.
He's turned out to be a wonderful person John.
Who?
John Doe, the one in the speech.
You know something? I've actually fallen in love with
him.
All right, there he is
Come on. What's the idea?
Not so much, that's it.
This is not the time
for cheap publicity Mr. Connell.
Listen, if that guy lays an egg,
I want to get something out of it.
I'm getting a Jane Doe ready.
Come on, fellas, give me a chance.
Fine, honey, you go ahead.
How're you doing?
Okay Beany, bring him in.
Holy smoke. A half a Heelot.
Here you are boss, just like you ordered.
Symbols of little people. Okay get them up.
This is ridiculous Mr. Connell. Come on, give me a
chance. The man in on the air in a few minutes.
Come on snucks, you'd better bail out.
Say good-bye, Mr. Doe.
Better get ready, one minute to go.
One minute to go and the score is nothing to nothing.
Please John, you won't let me down, will you?
Will you? Of course you won't. If you think of
yourself as the real John Doe...
Listen. Everything in that speech,
are things a certain man believed in.
He was my father John, and when he talked, people listened...
And they'll listen to you too.
Funny you know what
my mother said the other night?
She said to look into your eyes, and I'd see father
there.
Hey, what do you say?
Okay, we're coming, come on.
Now listen John, you're a pitcher
so get in there and pitch.
Good luck!
Come on, let him through.
Hey, let's get out of here.
There's a door right there. Hey, what are you doing here?
That's what I'd like to know.
Come on out now.
He's a friend of mine.
Let him alone, he's all right.
I'll be right over there, pulling for you.
No John, over here...
Stand by...
Phone the Chronicle, tell them to start getting those
extras out.
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. This is Kenneth
Frye speaking for the New Bulletin.
Tonight we give you something entirely new and different.
Standing beside me is the
young man who has declared publicly
that on Christmas Eve he intends to commit suicide.
Giving as his reason, quote: I protest against the
state of civilization, end quote.
Ladies and gentlemen, the New Bulletin
takes pleasure in presenting the man
who is fast becoming the most talked of person
in the whole country... John Doe.
Ladies and Gentlemen.
I am the man you all know as John Doe.
I took that
name, because it seems to describe...
because it seems to describe the average man.
And that's me.
Well it was me, before I said I was going to jump off
the City Hall roof at midnight on Christmas Eve...
Now, I guess I'm not average anymore.
Now, I'm
getting all sorts of attention, from big shots too.
We've been double-crossed.
The Mayor and the Governor for instance.
They don't like those articles I've been writing.
You're an imposter young fellow.
That's a pack of lies you are telling.
Who wrote that speech for you?
Spencer...
Ladies and Gentlemen, the disturbance you just heard,
was caused by someone in the audience who tried to heckle Mr. Doe.
The speech will continue.
People like the Governor
and that fellow there can stop worrying.
I'm not going to talk about them, I'm going to talk about us.
The average guys.
The John Does.
If anybody should ask you
what the average John Doe is like,
you couldn't tell him, because he is a million and one things.
He's Mr. Big and Mr. Small. He's simple and he's wise.
He's inherently honest,
but he's got a streak of larceny in his heart.
He seldom walks up to a public telephone, without shoving his
finger into the slot to see if somebody left a nickle there.
He's the man the ads are written for.
He's the fellow everybody sells things to.
He's Joe Dokes, the world's greatest stooge and the world's greatest strength...
Yes, sir, we're a great family, the John Does.
We are the meek
who are suppose to inherit the earth.
You'll find us everywhere.
We raise the crops, we dig the mines, work
the factories, keep the books,
fly the planes, and drive the buses.
When a cop yells stand back there you, he means us,
the John Doe's.
What kind of speech is that? Didn't you read it?
We've existed since time began.
We built the pyramids.
We saw Christ crucified,
pulled the oars for Roman emperors, sailed the boats for Columbus.
Retreated from Moscow with Napeleon,
and froze with Washington at Valley Forge.
We've been in there, dodging left hooks since before
history began to walk.
In our struggle for freedom
we've hit the canvas many a time,
but we always bounced back,
cause we're the people and we're tough..
They've started a lot of talk
about free people going soft,
that we can't take it. That's a lot of hooey!
A free people can beat the world at anything, from war
to tiddlely-winks, if we all pull in the same direction.
I know a lot of you are saying: What can I do?
I'm
just a little punk, I don't count.
You're dead wrong. The little punks have always counted, because in the long run
the character of our country is the sum total
of the character of its little punks...
But we've all got to get in there and pitch. We can't win the old ballgame
unless we have team work.if we don't have the old teamwork
and that's where every John Doe comes in.
It's up to him to get together with his teammate.
And your teammate, my friends,
is the guy next door to you!
Your neighbor, he's a terribly important guy that guy next door.
You're going to need him and he's going to need you, so look him up.
If he's sick, call on him, if he's hungry, feed him.
If he's out of a job, find him one.
To most of you, your neighbor is a stranger. A guy
with a barking dog and a high fence around him.
Now you can't be a stranger
to any guy that's on your own team.
So tear down the fence that separates you.
Tear down the fence and you tear down
a lot of hates and prejudices.
Tear down all the fences in the country
and you'll really have teamwork.
I know a lot of you are saying to yourselves:
He's asking for a miracle to happen.
He's expecting people to change all of a sudden.
Well, you're wrong. It's no miracle because I see it
happen once a year.
And so do you, at Christmas time.
There's something swell about the spirit of Christmas,
to see what it does to people.
All kinds of people...
Now why can't that spirit, that same warm Christmas
spirit, last all year round?
Gosh, if it ever did...
If each and every John Doe would make that spirit
last 365 days out of the year,
we'd develop such a strength, we'd create such a tidal wave of
goodwill that no human force could stand against it.
Yes my friends...
the meek can only inherit the earth,
when the John Doe's start loving their neighbors.
You'd better start right now.
Don't wait until the game
is called on account of darkness.
Wake up John Doe, you're the hope of the world.
John, you were wonderful.
Let's get out of here.
Now, you're talking.
I knew you'd wake up sooner or later. Boy am I glad
we got out of that mess.
I had the 5000 bucks sewed up. I could have
been on my way to Doc Brown.
You're a pitcher John. Now go in there and pitch.
What a sucker...
She's a Heelot, just like the rest of them. Lucky you
got away from her.
What was I doing up there making a speech anyway?
Me huh?
The more I think about it, the more I...
Tear down all the fences? Why if you tore one picket
off your neighbor's fence, he'd sue you.
5000 bucks, had it right in my hand.
What do you mean he ran away? Well go after him,
find him. That man is terrific.
Here we come!
Jitterbug!
Yeah.
How much money have we got left?
A little bit.
Better make it doughnuts huh?
Yeah
What'll it be gents?
Have you got a couple of steaks,
about that big and about that thick?
And with hash brown potatoes, and tomatoes and...
apple pie and ice cream and coffee...
and doughnuts, I know.
Hey Mark, seekers. A pair.
Seekers a pair, coming up.
Glad he took the tea out of there.
Hey, look! Join the John Doe club.
John Doe Club?
You John Doe?
Who?
John Doe!
Ah, you need glasses buddy
Well, it's the spitting image of John Doe.
Yeah, but his name is Willaby
John Willaby. I'm a baseball player.
I'd know that voice anywhere. You can't kid me.
You're John Doe.
Ma, ma ! That's John Doe. !
John Doe?
Sitting right there!.
You mean he's alive?
Who did you say it was ?
John Doe. Big guy there.
Hey operator, tell everybody in town, John Doe was
just in my place.
Yeah, he ordered doughnuts.
What did John Doe look like, Mr. Mayor?
He's one of those outdoor-type men.
No, you can't see him. You didn't vote for me
last time. Shame on you!
Get out of my front porch anyhow !
Has Mr. Norten come yet?
I wonder where he's at.
What's keeping him ? He should have been here
15 minutes ago.
There he comes now.
We gotta show off.
Now everybody, on your dignity Don't do anything to
disgrace the little town.
Better let me talk to him.
But present it to him as a great cause for the common man.
Here he comes.
Give him room, folks.
How do you do Mr. Norten. I'm the Mayor.
Let me go, you darn fool, I'm the Mayor! Mr. Norten!
I'm the Mayor. Your office told me to hold him.
That's fine, how is he?
Oh he's fine. He's right in my office there. It's an
honor having John Doe here.
Haven't had such excitement
since the old City Hall burned down.
People are so excited they nearly tore his clothes off.
Mathilda, darlin', phone the newspapers
and tell them Mr. Norten is here.
Right inside Mr. Norten. My office, very comfortable
Mr. Norten. I just had it air-conditioned.
Gangway. Make room for Mr. Norten,.
Here he is, well taken care of...
the neighbors are serving him a light lunch.
Hello John...
Mr. Mayor, if you don't mind, we'd like to talk to him
alone.
Certainly, certainly, all right everybody, clear out.
Don't argue with me here, wait until we get home.
Don't you push me around like that, even though I am
your wife.
Look Mr. Norten, I think you have a lot of nerve,
having those people hold us here...
There's nobody holding you here Mr. Doe.
Well, if there's no one holding us here,
let's get going.
Incidentally, my name isn't Doe, it's Willaby.
Look John, something terribly important has happened.
They are forming John Doe clubs.
We know of eight all ready and they say...
John Doe clubs? What for?
To carry out the principals you talked about in your
radio speech.
I don't care what they're forming. I'm on my way
and I don't care for being stopped either.
But you don't know how big this thing is.
You should see the thousands
of telegrams we've received and what they're saying about you.
Look it started as a circulation stunt, didn't it?
Well you got your circulation,
now why don't you let me alone ?
We started it as a cirrculation stunt, but it isn't anymore.
Mr. Norten wants to back
it, and sponsor John Doe clubs all over the country.
He wants to send you on a lecture tour.
Me?
With your ability to influence people,
it might grow into a glorious movement.
Say, let's get something straight here.
I don't want any part of this thing.
If you got an idea I'm going around lecturing people,
why you're crazy.
Baseball's my racket and I'm sticking to it.
Come on Colonel, let's get out of here.
Please, please, I just got rid of one crowd.
Please Mr. Mayor, tell him the John Doe club wants to
talk to him
Let them in Mr. Mayor, let them come in.
Okay folks, but remember
your manners, no stampedeing.
Walk slow, like you do when you come to pay your taxes.
Give me a chance.
Come right in.
My name is Bert Hansen, Mr. Doe.
I'm the head soda-jerker at the drugstore.
Well sir, me and the wife we heard your broadcast and
we got quite a bang out of it, especially my wife.
Kept me up half the night saying: That man's right honey.
The trouble with the world is
nobody gives a hoot about his neighbor.
And that's why everybody in town is sore and cranky at each other.
I kept saying that's fine, but how does a guy
go around loving the kind of neighbors we've got?
Old Sourpuss for instance...
See Sourpuss Smithers is a guy lives all alone next door to us.
He's a cranky old man, runs a second-hand furniture store.
We haven't spoken to him for years.
I always figured he was an ornery old gent,
who hated the world cause he was always
slamming his garage door
and playing the radio so loud, he kept half the neighbors up.
Well next morning, I'm out watering the lawn, and there is old Sourpuss
on the other side of the hedge, straightening out a dent in his fender
My wife yells to me out the window. Go on, speak to
him Bert.
So I figured, well, heck, I can't lose anything...
so I yelled over to him, good morning Mr. Smithers.
He went right on pounding his fender...
Was I burnt. So I turned around to give my wife a dirty
look...
and she said louder, louder, he didn't hear you.
So in a voice you could have heard in the next
county, I yelled, Good morning Mr. Smithers...
Well sir, you could have knocked me over with a feather.
Old Sourpuss turns around, surprised like and
puts on a big smile,
came over and took my hand like an old lodge brother and he said,
good morning Hansen.
I've been wanting to talk to you for years,
only I thought you didn't like me,
and then he started chatting away
like a happy little kid...
he got so excitedhis eyes all...
Well, before we got through, I
found out Mr. Smithers is a swell egg,
only he's pretty deaf
and that accounts for all the noises.
And he says it's a shame how little we know about
our neighbors, and then he got an idea and says...
...how about inviting everybody some place where we can
all get together and know each other a little better?
I'm feeling so good by this time, I'm right for anything,
so, Smithers goes around the neighborhood,
inviting everybody to a meeting at the schoolhouse.
And I tell everybody that comes in the store, including
my boss...
Oh, I'm talking too much.
No, no, tell more.
I'll be doggone if for 40 people done show up.
Of course none of us knew what to do,
but we sure got a kick out of seeing how glad
everybody was just to say hello to one another.
Tell them about making Sourpuss Chairman.
Oh yeah, we made Sourpuss Chairman
and decided to call ourselves the John Doe club.
Oh incidently, this is my wife. Come here honey.
This is my wife Mr. Doe.
How do you do Mr. Doe?
Sourpuss is here too.
Oh, is he ?
This is Sourpuss, or excuse me,
Mr. Smithers, Mr. Doe.
That's all right, if you didn't call me Sourpuss,
it wouldn't feel natural.
I guess everybody in the neighborhood
came except for the Delaneys.
The Delaneys live in a big house, with an iron fence
around it and they always keep their blinds drawn.
We always figured he was just an old miser
that sat back counting his money, so why bother about inviting him?
Until the milkman spoke up and said,
say you've got the Delaney's all wrong.
And then he tells us how they cancelled their milk last week.
And how when he found a note in the bottle,
he got kind of curious
and peeked in under the blinds
and found the house was empty...
If you ask me, he says, they're starving.
Old man Delaney has been bringing his furniture
over to my place at night.
One piece at a time and selling it.
Half a dozen of us ran over there to fetch him and we
brought him to the meeting.
What a reception they got.
Everybody shook hands with them
and made a fuss over them
and well finally Mr. And Mrs. Delaney
just sat down and cried...
And then we started to find out
about a lot of other people.
You know Grouble for instance.
Grouble is here.
Yeah, that's him.
Of course you don't know Grouble, but...
he's a man that everybody figured was
the worse no-account in the neighborhood...
because he was living like a hermit.
Nobody would have anything to do with him.
That is
until Murphy, the postman, told us the truth.
Grouble he says, lives out of garbage cans, because
he won't take charity.
It would ruin his self-respect, he says.
Just like you said on the radio Mr. Doe.
About a dozen families got together and gave Grouble a job
watering their lawns. Isn't that wonderful?
And then we found jobs for 6 other people
and they've all gone off relief.
And my boss made a job
in his warehouse for old-man Delaney
And he gave you that 5 dollar raise.
Yeah, wasn't that swell?
Well Bert, I feel slighted.
I'd like to join, but nobody asked me.
I'm sorry Mr. Mayor,
but we voted no politician could join.
Just the John Doe's of the neighborhood, cause you
know how politicians are.
The reason we wanted to tell you this
Mr. Doe was to give you an idea of what you've started.
And from where I'm sitting,
I don't see any sense in you jumping off any building.
No...
Well, thank you for listening.
Good-bye, Mr Doe.
You're a wonderful man.
It strikes me that you can be mighty useful, walking
around for a while.
Good-bye.
I'm Mrs. Delaney, Mr. Doe.
May God bless you my boy.
I'm all mixed up.
I dont' get it...
All those swell people think I'm going to jump
off a building or something.
I've never had any such idea.
A fella would have to be a mighty fine example
himself to go around telling other people how to ...
Say, what happened here the other night, was on
account of Miss Mitchell. She wrote the stuff.
Don't you see what a wonderful thing this could be?
But we need you John.
You're hooked. I can see that right now.
They've got you.
Well, I'm
through.
For three years, I've been trying
to get you up to the Columbia River Country.
First it was your glass arm, then it was the radio,
now it's the John Doe clubs.
Well, I ain't waiting another minute.
Gangway you Heelots!
Colonel wait a minute. Colonel!
Now I want you to go along with John Doe and Miss
Mitchell to handle the press and the radio.
Me?
Yes, I don't want to take any chances.
And Johnson.
Yes D.B.
Your crew will do the mop-up job.
They'll follow John Doe into every town
and see that the clubs are properly organized and the charters issued.
There are only 8 flags up there now, and I want to see
that map covered before we are through.
This has been growing like wildfire.
If they made demands, I'd understand it,
but the John Does ask for nothing.
People are going off relief. If this keeps up,
I'll be out of a job.
As soon as he gets strong enough,
we'll find out what John Doe wants.
30 every Thursday, 60 at 60! Who knows what!
I'm sorry boss, they just won't let anyone talk politics
to them. It's crazy!
We've got to get to him. He represents millions of
voters.
I tell you ladies and gentlemen,
this has been nothing short of a prairie fire.
We've received so many applications
for charters to the John Doe clubs,
that we haven't been able to take care of them.
I don't need to have
that many pins stuck in me.
This John Doe convention is a natural. It's going to
put our city on the map...
Why over 2400 John Doe clubs are sending
delegates. Can you imagine that?
You, Mr. Mayor, will be the official host.
You will make the arrangements
for decorating the city the parades
and the reception for John Doe when he gets home...
And don't wear your high hat...
No high hat?
No. And from you Connell...
I want a special John Doe
edition everyday until the convention is over.
And now if you will please, step into the outer office
and look your prettiest,
because there are photographers there to take pictures of this committee.
Don't worry D.B. Everything will be taken care of.
Isn't it all too wonderful?
Mr. Mayor, would you step down
to the front hall, please?
Well I don't get it.
Get what?
Look, D.B.
I'm supposed to know my way around.
This John Doe movement has cost you a fortune.
Now this convention is going to cost plenty.
Well?
Well, I'm stuck with 2 and 2
and I'm a sucker if I can make 4 out of it.
Where do you come in?
I have the satisfaction of knowing, that my money has
been spent for a worthy cause.
I say, I'd better stick
to running the paper huh?
I think maybe you'd better.
And Connell...
I'd like to have the John Doe contract
all the receipts and the money
we advanced him and the letter Miss Mitchell wrote,
which I gave her 1000 dollars for.
Yes... sure.
Well, we leave for the airport in half an hour.
Is that Johnny boy in his room?
I'd better hustle him up.
He'll be ready on time, he's packing.
Good.
Did you see his picture on the cover of Time?
Yeah.
I've got to give you credit Annie Girl,
I've handled some big promotions in my time.
Everything from a World's Fair to a channel swimmer,
but this one certainly got me spinning.
And now a John Doe convention.
If you could only get him to jump
off the City Hall roof on Christmas Eve,
I'd guarantee you half a million people there.
Charlie... what do you make of him?
Who, Johnny Boy?
I don't know what angle you want,
but I'll give it to you quick...
Number one, he's got great yokel appeal,
but he's a nice guy.
Number two, he's beginning to believe
he really wrote that suicide letter that you made up...
Number three, he thinks that you're Joan of Arc or something.
Yeah, I know.
Number four,
well you know what number four is.
He's nuts about you.
Yeah, it's running out of his ears.
You left out number five. We're all heels, me
especially.
Holy smokes !
Come in.
I'm all packed.
Good! I'll go and get Beany boy.
Okay Charlie boy.
Can I help you pack?
No thank you.
Do you care if I sit down, out here?
No.
I had a crazy dream last night...
It was about you.
About me?
It sure was crazy. I dreamt I was your father.
There was something I was trying
to stop you from doing.
So I got up out of bed
and I walked right through the
wall here, straight into your room.
You know how dreams are... and there you were in
bed.
But you were a little girl, you know, about 10...
and very pretty too.
So I shook you...
and the moment you opened your eyes,
you hopped out of bed...
and started running like the devil
in your nightgown,
and you ran right out the window there...
and you ran out over the tops of buildings
and roofs and everything for miles...
And I was chasing you.
And all the time you were running,
you kept growing bigger and bigger
and pretty soon you were as big as you are now.
You know, grown up.
And all the time I kept asking myself, what am I
chasing her for?
And I didn't know. Isn't that an odd one?
Well, anyway you ran into some place
and I ran in after you.
When I got there,
there you were, getting married.
The nightgown had changed
into a beautiful wedding gown.
You sure looked pretty too.
And then I knew what it was I was trying to stop you
from doing.
Dreams are sure crazy, aren't they?
Would you like to know
who it was, you were marrying?
A tall, handsome man I suppose...
Not that bad, it was that fellow
that sends you flowers everyday.
What's his name? Mr. Norten's nephew.
Sheldon...
Yes, that's the one.
But here's the funniest part of it all...
I was the fellow up there doing the marrying. You
know, the Justice of Peace or something.
You were?
I thought that you were chasing me.
Yes, I was, but I was
your father then, you see.
But the real me John Doe, or Long John Willaby,
I was the fellow up there with the book.
Do you know what I mean?
Guess so, then what happened?
Well, I took you across my knee,
and I started spanking you.
That is I didn't do it.
I mean I did do it but, it wasn't me see, I was your father then.
I put you across my knee and said,
Annie, I won't allow you to marry
a man that's just rich
or has a secretary that sends you flowers...
The man that you marry has got to swim rivers for you,
he's got to climb high mountains for you,
he's got to slay dragons for you,
perform wonderful deeds for you...
And all the time,
the guy up there with the book,
me, just stood there
nodding his head and he said...
Go to it, Pop. Whack her one from me,
cause that's just the way I feel about it too.
He said, come on down here and whack her yourself.
So I came down and I whacked you a good one.
So he whacked you and then I whacked you another
one, then we were both whacking you...
Well if you're through whacking her,
come on, let's get going.
Okay fellows, right in here...
You go out the side.
There's a bunch of autograph seekers out front.
We'll be down with the bags in a minute.
Come on. Don't make
a government project out of this.
Hi. Beany.
When's our plane take off again?
A couple of minutes.
How many people do you think
we've talked to already?
Outside the radio I mean.
I don't know. About 300,000.
300.000.
What makes them do it, Anne?
What makes them come and listen
and get up their John Doe clubs the way they do?
I've been trying to figure it out...
What we're handing them's a platter full
of things they've heard a milllion times.
Love thy neighbor, clouds have silver linings, turn the other cheek...
I've heard it a million times too, but...
There you are.
Maybe they're like me. Just beginning to get an idea
of what those things mean.
I never thought much about people before. They were
just somebody to fill up the bleachers.
The only time I worried about them, was when they
didn't come in to see me pitch.
Lately, I've been watching them when I talk to them.
I can see something in their faces.
I could feel that they were hungry for something.
You know what I mean? Maybe that's why they came.
Maybe they're just lonely
and wanted somebody to say hello to them...
I know how they feel.
I've been lonely and hungry for
something practically all my life.
All aboard folks.
Somebody else sitting here?
No, no, no, that's your seat.
And this is your coat.
Mine?
A little token of appreciation.
It's beautiful D.B.
I don't quite know what to say.
Well don't say anything. Just sit down.
Go ahead, open it, open it.
Oh, it's lovely.
And a new contract goes with it.
Well, come on, spring it.
You've got something on your mind.
Must be stupendous...
That's what I like about her.
Right to the point, like that!
All right Practical Annie, here it is.
Tomorrow night, before a crowd of 15,000 people, I'm
talking a nation wide radio hook-up.
John Doe will announce the formation of a third party.
A third party?
Yes, the John Doe party.
Devoted entirely to the interests
of all the John Doe's all over the country.
Which practically means 90% of the voters.
He will also announce the third party's
candidate for the Presidency.
A man whom he personally recommends.
A great humanitarium.
The best friend the John Doe's have.
Mr. D.B. Norten...
Yes.
Though the opening of the convention is hours off, the
delegates are already pouring into the ball park by the droves.
With lunch baskets, banners and petitions
asking John Doe not to jump off any roof.
No matter how you look at it,
it's still a phenomenal movement.
These John Does, or the Hoy Polloy
as you've heard people call them,
have been laughed at and ridiculed, but here they are...
gay and happy, having travelled thousands of miles...
Their expenses paid by their neighbors,
who come here to pay homage to their hero, John Doe.
In these days of wars and bombings
It's a simple idea that can sweep the country.
An idea based on friendliness, on giving and not taking.
On helping your neighbor and asking nothing in return.
And if a thing like this can happen, don't let any of your
grumbling friends tell you that humanity is falling apart.
This is John B. Hues signing of now and returning you
to our main studio, until 9 o'clock,
when the convention will officially open.
John! Come in.
Say I'm kind of... it's raining out a little.
That's all right. It's good to see you.
Sit down.
Thanks.
It's for Anne.
Oh how nice! Thank you very much.
Flowers.
I'm terribly sorry she isn't here.
She isn't?
No she just left. I'm surprised you didn't run into her
She went over to Mr. Norten's house.
Did you want to see her about something important?
Yeah, well no, it will wait.
He's a nice man, Mr. Norten I mean. He's done an
awful lot for...
My coat is pretty wet. I'm afraid I may have wet the
couch a little.
Well, I guess I'll see her at the convention later.
Yes of course, I'll see that she gets the flowers.
Good night, Mrs. Mitchell.
Good night, John.
Mrs. Mitchell.
I'm kind of glad Anne isn't here.
I came over here hoping to see her alone.
Kind of hoping I wouldn't too,
you know what I mean ?
There was something
I wanted to talk to her about.
It can wait, I guess.
Good night...
Good night, John.
Say Mrs. Mitchell, have you ever been married?
I'm sure you have.
Gosh, that's pretty silly...
I guess you must think I'm kind of batty...
I guess I'd better be going.
John...
My husband said, I love you, will you marry
me?
He did?
What happened?
I married him.
That's what I mean, see? It was as easy as all that?
Yeah, but look, Mrs Mitchell...
You know, I love Anne, and it's going to be awfully hard
for me to say it...
She's so wonderful and all the best I ever was,
was a bush-league pitcher.
I think she is in love with another man.
The one she
made up. You know, the real John Doe.
That's pretty tough competition.
I bet you he would know what to say it all right.
Me, I get up to it, around it and back of it,
but I never get right to it, you know what I mean?
So, the only chance I've got, is if somebody
could kind of give her a warning. Sort of prepare her for the shock.
You mean you would like me to do it?
Yeah, I was thinking, sort of break the ice.
Of course I will John...
Thank you, Mrs. Mitchell. You're Okay.
This John Doe meeting is going to be
one of the biggest things that ever happened!
They're coming from all over, trains, boxcars, wagons...
Hey, bodyguards. Have you had your dinner yet?
Not yet.
Go ahead and have your dinner.
Wait a minute John.
Hello, Mr. Connell.
How are you, John?
John I want to have a little talk with you.
What's the matter?
Are you fallilng? Come here.
Did you read the speech
you're going to make tonight?
No I never read the speeches before I make them. I
get more of a kick out of it that way.
Just exactly what I thought.
Beany, go down to the office and
tell them to give you the speech.
There's a copy on my desk.
You know Mr. Norten told me
not to leave him, not even for a minute.
Go on, we'll be at Jim's bar up the street.
You're a nice guy John. I like you.
You're gentle. I've always liked gentle people. Me,
I'm hard.
Yep, I'm hard, but you want to know something?
I've
got a weakness. Never guess that, would you?
Well, I have. Want to know what it is?
Star Spangled Banner. Screwy, huh?
Maybe it is, but play the Star Spangled Banner
and I'm a sucker for it.
Always gets me right here. You know what I mean?
Yeah, gets me right back here.
Oh, back there huh?
Well, every man to his own taste.
You weren't old enough
for the World War, were you John?
No of course not. You must have been just a kid.
I was. I was just ripe and raring to go.
Know what my old man did when I joined up? He
joined up too.
Got to be a Sgt.
And here's the kick for you.
We were
in the same outfit.
Funny huh?
He was killed John.
I saw him die.
I was right there and I saw it with my own eyes.
Me, I came out without a scratch.
That is, excepting my ulcers...
I should be drinking milk you know.
This stuff is poison.
Tommy?
Yes, Mr. Connell?
What do you say, huh?
All right.
Yep, I'm a sucker for this country.
I'm a sucker for the
Star Spangled Banner and I'm a sucker for this country.
I like what we got here. I like it.
A guy can say what he wants and do what he wants,
without having a bayonet shoved in his belly.
And that's all right, isn't it?
You bet ya!
And we don't want anybody
coming around and changing that do we?
No sir!
When they do, I get mad. I get boiling mad.
Right now John, I'm sizzling.
I get mad for a lot of other guys, besides myself...
I get mad for a guy named Washington, and a guy
named Jeffereson and Lincoln.
Lighthouses John. Lighthouses in a foggy world.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, you bet.
Listen pal. That fifth column stuff
was pretty rotten, isn't it?
Yeah, it certainly is.
And you'd feel an awful sucker if you found yourself
marching right in the middle of it, wouldn't you?
Just you wouldn't know, cause you're gentle,
but that's what you're doing.
You're mixed up with a skunk, my boy.
A no-good dangerous skunk!
Say, you're not talking about Mr. Norten, are you?
I'm not talking about his grandfather's pet poodle.
You must be wrong Mr. Connell. He's been
marvelous about the John Doe clubs.
You're really sold on this John Doe idea,
aren't you?
Sure.
Yes sir, I don't blame you, so am I.
It's a beautiful miracle.
A miracle that could only happen right here, in the
good old U.S.A.
I think it's terrific.
What do you think of that?
Me, hard-boiled Connell
and I think it's plenty terrific.
Now supposing a certain unmentionable worm,
whose initials are D.B.,
was trying to use that act
to shove his way into the White House?
So he could put the screws on.
So he could turn out
the lights in those lighthouses.
What would you say about that, huh?
Nobody's going to do that, Mr. Connell.
They can't use
the John Doe clubs for politics.
That's the main idea.
Is that so? Then what's a big political boss
like Hammett doing in town?
And a labour leader like Bennet, and a lot of other big
shots up at D.B.'s house right now.
Wolves, John!
Wolves, waiting to cut up the John Does...
Wait til you get a gander
at that speech you are going to make tonight.
- You're all wet. Miss Mitchell writes those speeches,
and nobody can make her write that kind of stuff.
They can't huh? Who do you think writes them?
My Aunt Emma?
I know she writes them
and gets a big bonus for doing them too.
A mink coat and a diamond bracelet.
Don't write them!
Why that gold-grabbing dame would double-cross her
own mother for a handful of Chinese yen!
If you weren't drunk, I would...
Hey boss!
Here's the speech boss.
Go on and read it John
and then start socking.
Hey wait a minute Mr. Doe.
Tommy, you'd better bring me a glass of milk.
I'm smoking too much.
Yes Charlie. Got everything all set?
John Doe been taken care of?
Good.
How many people do you think will be there?
15,000!
Oh, that's fine.
Listen Charlie, as soon as John Doe stops talking
about me, I want you to start that demonstration.
And make it a big one, you understand?
Don't worry about that D.B. My boys are there.
They'll take care of it.
Yes, I'll be there 15 minutes after I get your call.
Why Mr. Doe.
Where are they?
In the dining room, sir.
Well gentlemen, I think we are ready to throw that
great, big bombshell.
It's about time.
Even a conservative estimate shows that we can count
on anywhere between 10 and 20 million John Doe votes.
Add to that, the labor vote Mr. Bennet will throw in...
and the votes controlled by Mr Hammett
and the rest of you gentlemen in your own territories,
nothing can stop us.
As I said before, I am with you, providing that you can
guarantee the John Doe vote.
Don't worry about that,
You can count on me, on one condition.
Little Bennet has
to be taken care of.
Didn't I tell you everybody in this room
will be taken care of?
My agreement with you gentlemen stands!
I'm with you D.B., but I still think it's a very daring
thing we're attempting.
These are daring times, Mr. Barrington.
We are coming to a new order of things.
There's too much talk going on in this country.
Too many concessions have been made. What the
American people need is an iron-hand.
Right, you're quite right, D.B.
Discipline!
May I offer a little toast to Miss Anne Mitchell.
The brilliant and beautiful lady
who is responsible for all this.
Mr. Norten I would like
to talk to you alone for a minute.
Miss Mitchell has something to say to us.
Say it!
Hello...
John I'm so glad to see you. I was terribly worried.
Did you write this?
Yes I did John,
but I had no idea what was going on.
You didn't?
No.
That's a swell bracelet you're wearing.
John, why aren't you at the convention?
Is there anything wrong?
No, no nothing is wrong. Everything is fine.
So there's going to be a new order of things, huh?
Everybody's going to cut himself
a nice fat slice of the John Does, huh?
You forgot one detail, Mr. Bigshot. You forgot me.
The prize stooge of the world.
Why if you or anybody else thinks he's going to use
the John Doe clubs for his own rotten purpose,
he's going to have to do it over my dead body.
Now hold on a minute young man.
That's rather big talk.
I started the John Doe clubs with my money
And I'll decide whether or not they are being properly used.
No you won't. You're through deciding anything.
And what's more, I'm going down
to that convention and I'm going to tell those people exactly
what you and all your fine-feathered friends here are trying to cook up for them.
And I'm going to say it in my own words this time!
Hold him !
He'll ruin us, D.B.
Wait a minute fellow. My Uncle wants to talk to you.
Now listen to me my son.
Before you lose your head completely...
may I remind you that I picked you up out of the gutter
and I can throw you right back there again!
You got a nerve accusing people of things.
These gentlemen and I know what's best for
the John Does of America, regardless of what tramps like you think!
Get off that righteous horse of yours
and come to your senses.
You're the fake. We believe in what we're doing.
You're the one that was paid the 30 pieces of silver.
Have you forgotten that? Well, I haven't.
You're a fake John Doe, and I can prove it.
You're the big hero that's supposed to jump off
tall buildings and things.
Do you remember?
What do you suppose your precious John Does will
say when they find out that you had no intention of doing it?
That you were being paid to say so.
You're lucky they don't run
you out of the country.
With the newspapers and radio stations that these
gentlemen control,
we can kill the John Doe movement deader than a doornail.
And we'll do it too, the moment you step out of line.
Now if you still want to go to that convention and
shoot your trap off, you go ahead and do it.
You mean to tell me you'd try to kill the John Doe
movement if you can't use it to get what you want?
You bet your bottom dollar we would!
Well that certainly is a new low.
I guess I've seen everything now.
You sit there packing your big cigars,
and think of deliberately killilng
an idea that's made millions of people a little bit happier.
An idea that has brought thousands
of them here from all over the country.
By bus, by freight and jalopies...
and on foot!
So they could pass on to each other
their own simple little experiences.
I'm just a mug and I know it. But I'm beginning to
understand a lot of things.
Why your types are as old as history.
If you can't lay your dirty fingers on a decent idea,
and twist it and squeeze it...
...and stuff it into your own pocket, you slap it down!
Like dogs! If you can't eat something you bury it!
Why this is the one worthwhile
thing that's come along.
People are finally finding out
that the guy next door isn't the bad egg.
Simple isn't it?
Yet a thing like that has got a chance of
spreading until it touches every last doggone human being in the world
and you talk about killing it. Or when this fire dies
down, what's going to be left?
More misery, more hunger and more hate.
And what's to prevent that
from starting all over again?
Nobody knows the answer to that one, and certainly
not you, with the slimy bollocks ideas you've got.
The John Doe idea may be the answer though.
It may be the one thing capable of saving this cockeyed world
yet you sit back there on your fat hulks
and tell me kill it if you can't use it.
You go ahead and try. You couldn't do it in a milion
years with all your radio stations and all your power...
because it's bigger than whether I'm a fake,
it's bigger than your ambitions
and it's bigger than all the bracelets and fur coats in the world.
You bet it is John!
And that's exactly what I am going
down there to tell those people!
Why you ungrateful rat.
My Uncle has been too good to you.
He's getting away.
John...
Get me the Bulletin.
I've always told you D.B.
You're playing with dynamite.
Don't let him get away!
Before he gets through tonight, he'll ruin us all.
I'll stop him cold. Don't worry.
I've been ready for this!
John! Oh, John please listen to me.
I can explain everything.
I didn't know
what they were going to do. Let me go with you John...
Go ahead driver.
Mr. Norten wants to see you.
Listen to me Mayor and you do what I say. I want
them both arrested.
You tell the police to pick up Connell,
I've got the girl here.
I don't care what you charge them with,
If you're worried, let'em go in the morning
but keep them in jail overnight.
Hello Bulletin, put Pop Dwyer on.
Three cheers for John Doe!
Ladies and Gentlemen.
One moment, John.
We'll begin with a short prayer.
Quiet please.
Ladies and gentlemen,
let us have a moment of silent prayer
for the John Does all over the world.
Many of whom are homeless and hungry.
Quiet please. Everybody rise.
Newsboys, hundreds of yelling newsboys are swarming into
the stadium.
They're yelling John Doe is a fake.
An investigation urged
by the Chamber of Commerce.
How could he be a fake?
Must be some kind of a gag.
A what?
A gag. A gag!
Come on, come on, step on it.
You all know your places, so let's get going.
Will you autograph my balloon?
Sure.
Ladies and gentlemen.
This is exactly what I came
down here to tell you about.
Please, if you all just be quiet for a few minutes, I can
explain the whole thing to you.
As you all know, this paper is published
by a man by the name of D.B. Norten.
Wait a minute everybody. Wait a minute.
My name is D.B. Norten.
You all know me.
I accuse this man of being a faker. We've been taken
for suckers and I'm the biggest of the lot.
I spent a fortune backing this man, in what I believed
to be a sincere and worthy cause, just as you all did...
And now I find out it nothing but a cheap racket.
Cooked up by him and two of my employees.
For the sole purpose of collecting dues from John
Does all over the country.
That's a lie!
It's not a lie.
Nickles and dimes being stuffed into thier own pockets.
You can read all about it in the newspapers.
That's a lie!...
This man had no intention of jumping off
the top of a building.
He was paid to say so. Do you deny that?
That's got nothing to do with it.
Were you paid for it, or weren't you?
Yes, I was paid, but...
And what about the sucide note?
You didn't write that either.
What difference does that make?
Did you write it or didn't you?
No I didn't write it.
You bet your life you didn't.
You look in your papers Ladies and Gentlemen,
and you'll find Miss Mitchell's signed confession
that she was the one that wrote it.
Listen folks, it's a fact that
I didn't write the letter...
See, he even admits it.
You're a fake, John Doe.
And for what you've done to all these good people, they
ought to run you out of the country
and I hope they do it.
Speak up, John. We believe you.
Please, listen folks.
Now that he's finished shooting off his face, I've
got a couple of things to tell you about...
Come on, the rest of you get in here.
Break this crowd out. Come on!
I'm sorry folks, but we can't hear him anymore.
Something's gone wrong with the loudspeakers.
John Doe's a fake! Booooooo!
Please, they can't hear me.
This thing is not working. Ladies and Gentlemen.
This thing is bigger than whether I'm a fake...
You believe me, don't you ?
Sure, I believe you.
Walking my legs off, picking up
5000 signatures for a phony.
Well there you are Mr. Doe. 5000 names asking you
not to jump off any roof.
It makes no difference! The idea is still good.
We don't have to give up our club.
Yeah, well you can have it.
They're starting to throw things.
Somebody is going to get hurt.
I'm afraid it will be John Doe.
Listen to that mob!
I've got to go there.
Sorry lady, orders.
Please let me go.
I want to go to him !
Please let me go. They're crucifying him.
I can help him!
We've got orders to hold you.
Orders from who? Can't you see it's a frame-up?
Oh mother, they won't let me go,
they won't let me go.
Listen, folks.
You've got to listen to me.
Back to the jungle, you hobo!
Trust a low racket?
Stick to your clubs !
We've been fed baloneys so long
we're getting used to it.
The idea is still good.
Believe me folks!
Listen, John Doe is the only
hope for the world.
They managed finally to get him out of the park.
If that boy isn't hurt, it'll be a miracle!
Ladies and gentlemen, this certainly looks
like the end of the John Doe movement.
Well boys, you can chalk up
another one to the Pontius Pilates.
I should have been there.
I could have helped him.
He was so all alone.
A lot of us are going to be mighty ashamed
of ourselves after tonight.
We certainly didn't give
that man much of a chance.
Have some more coffee, Long John?
No thanks, Colonel.
Racketeer! Liar! Cheat! Imposter!
Why don't you jump?
Christmas Eve, at midnight.
Good-bye Mr. Doe. You're a wonderful man!
And God bless you, my boy.
Now get in there and pitch.
You're a fake John Doe and I can prove it.
You're the big hero that's supposed
to jump of tall buildings and things.
Remember? What do you suppose
your precious John Does will say
when they find out that you never
had any intention of doing it?
That you were paid for the whole thing?
Christmas Eve at midnight.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
John Doe? Is that screwball still around?
Yeah, that dame has been calling all day
Sure, sure, at midnight, huh?
We'll have the place surrounded with nets.
They're laughing at me.
You're a sick girl, Anne.
You'd better take it easy.
Whom are you calling now?
You called that number,
not 10 minutes ago.
Hello Mr. Connell, have you seen him yet?
Now listen, Anne, he can't possibly
get in without our seeing him...
I'm watching the side door and the Colonel is out
front, so stop worrying.
Thank you.
Anne! Don't be foolish.
If this isn't the craziest, the battiest, the looniest, wild
goose chase I've ever heard of.
Oh shut up, Bert,
Sourpuss is right. Well if he is, I'm a banana split.
That man is going to be on that roof.
Don't ask me how I know.
I just know and you know it as well as I do!
Sure, sure, I'd like to believe in fairy tales, but a guy
that's a fake isn't going to jump off any roof.
I don't think he was any fake, not with that face!
Anyway, what he stood for wasn't a fake.
Okay honey, Okay.
The elavators ain't running.
Colonel!
You shouldn't have gotten out of bed Miss.
Has he been here? Have you seen him?
Nope, haven't seen him for a week.
Where's Connell?
He's watching the other door.
You're swell.
No sense in going up there. I've been here for hours
and he ain't here.
Let me go!
Now that's crazy. It's 14 floors.
This is as far as the elavator goes.
We got to walk up to the tower.
That crank is probably full of Christmas cheer and is
asleep in some flop-house.
Let's go, I've got to decorate my tree.
Well I give up.
I don't know what gave us the idea
that he would attempt anything like this.
I guess you're right.
I'm afraid the joke's on us. Let's go!
I hope nobody finds out we've been here.
I wouldn't do that if I were you John.
It'll do you no good.
The Mayor has policemen downstairs.
With instructions to remove all marks of identification
that you may have on your person.
You'll be buried in Potter's Field,
and you will have accomplished nothing.
I've taken care of that.
I've already mailed a copy of
this letter to Mr. Connell.
John why don't you forget this foolishness?
Stop right where you are Mr. Norten,
if you don't want to go overboard with me.
I'm glad you gentlemen are here.
You killed the John Doe movement all right.
But you're going to see it
born all over again.
Now take a good look Mr. Norten.
John...
John... Oh John... I won't let you do it.
I love you, darling!
Please don't give up. We'll start all over again...
Just you and I. It isn't too late. The John Doe
movement isn't dead yet.
You see it isn't dead,
or they wouldn't be here.
It's alive in me!
They kept it alive by being up here!
That's why they came up here.
Darling! Sure, it should have been killed.
It was dishonest.
We can start clean now.
Just you and I.
It'll grow, John. It'll grow big cause it
will be honest this time.
Oh John, if it's worth dying for, it's worth living for.
Oh please, John!
Oh, please, please, God help me !
John, look at me.
You want to be honest don't you?
You don't have to die
to keep the John Doe idea alive.
Someone already died for that once.
The first John Doe.
And he's kept that idea alive for
nearly 2000 years!
It was He who kept it alive in them.
And He'll go on
keeping it alive forever and always.
For every John Doe movement these men kill,
a new one will be born.
That's why those bells are ringing, John.
They're calling to us!
Not to give up but to keep on fighting,
to keep on pinching.
Oh, don't you see darling? This is no time to give up!
You and I John, we... Oh no, no John!
If you die, I want to die too.
I love you!
Mr. Doe... you don't have to...
We're with you Mr. Doe...
We just lost our heads, and acted like a mob...
What Bert's trying to say is,
we need you Mr. Doe.
There was a lot of us
who didn't believe what that man said.
We were going to start up our John Doe club again.
And there are a lot of
others that are going to do the same thing...
Whether we saw you or not,
weren't we, Bert?
Mr. Sourpuss even got a letter
from cousin in Toledo and...
Got it right here Mr. Doe.
Only it would be a lot easier with you.
Please.
Please come with us Mr. Doe.
Long John!
Mr. Doe... You will help us with it...
She'll be all right.
Mr. Doe, take her right down to the car.
There you are, Norten, the people!
Try and lick that!
It's a hopeful sign that
a simple idea like this can sweep the country.