Honey, I need to piss.
Can you help me?
I can't carry heavy objects.
Shit!
Friends of yours?
You're right, yeah...
May I get in?
I warn you,
if you don't leave your cock...
... you'll get your knuckles rapped.
Don't worry, it's too cold.
Where are we going?
I don't know.
But I'm going towards the sun.
Straight on until
my CDs get finished.
I come from there.
And I'm going down there.
Is there a problem?
Where are you from? 80s?
Tell me...
... your story.
I love other people's problems,
it's dope to me.
- Oh yeah?
- Hmm...
- Me, is when a guy my age
loses his hair.
Bah, damn!
You know the story of the masochist...
... the sodomite, the sadist...
... the murderer, the necrophiliac
and the arsonist?
No.
- In a mental asylum,
a masochist, a sodomite...
... a sadist, a murderer, a necrophiliac
and an arsonist are bored.
What?
They are bored.
The sodomite said:
And "if we fucked the cat?"
Then the sadist replies:"Oh yeah.
let's rape and torture the cat. "
The assassin adds:
"Cool! Let's rape, torture
and kill the cat. "
Then the necrophiliac says, "Oh yeah...
"We'll rape, torture and kill the cat,
and then rape her again. "
Then the arsonist said: "Cool!
- Let's rape, torture and kill,
rape again and burn the cat. "
Silence. They all look at
the masochist and ask him:
Hey, and you? You say nothing?
Masochist answers: "Miaow. "
- Yeah, not bad.
I knew it with a caribou.
I don't want to bother...
... but my dick wants
the butt of a girl.
I don't like to let him wait.
I'm Bazooka Joe.
And those two, it's John Grizzly
and Jordan Minnesota.
May we join you?
Wanna dance, sweetie?
- Your breath
would curdle the yogurt, honey.
And besides, I don't like the music.
Don't worry.
I just want to feel your ass.
Get lost!
I'm gonna kiss you.
Try, asshole!
Let me go, shit sack!
Asshole!
Let me go!
I prefer him.
He has a smaller asshole.
Yeah!
- I'll fuck him in the ass
in the mouth...
... and under the arms.
You'll crash!
Go!
No mess at my place.
Get the fuck out!
Otherwise...?
Otherwise, I'll paint my lino
with the juice of your balls.
Funny, right?
Let's go, guys.
You're OK?
Go ahead. I'll make you collapse.
Damn!
Shit, I'm in my underwear!
Come on...
Jump!
Are you lost or what?
Damn!
Shit!
Have you seen a guy in the bathroom?
What?
- A guy with long hair,
in the toilet?
No.
Sure you haven't seen him?
I didn't see anybody.
You're here?
Are you there?
Jean Jean!
- For once I find someone
who isn't too dumb...
Hey you!
John John?
He isn't really gone, is he!
- You wouldn't be the first
a guy abandons.
- I saw your very nice
photo wall in the toilet.
What's that door for?
Oh! It's been locked for years.
- It's not to open?
- No chance.
It's closed!
Damn!
Is Jean Jean there?
No.
- We had an appointment.
It's "La Spack" here, right?
Yes.
But now "La Spack" is closed.
She' cleaning. Get lost!
Please!
- You're cleaning for a reason.
- Not your business!
Oh, what a jewel...
Is there a problem, Miss?
Can I help you?
At first glance, not much.
You're the sheriff?
Yes. Well, not really.
Now I'm retired.
But if you want a guide,
you are right.
Cool.
Call me Chinaski,
like everyone else.
So what happens?
Well, I lost a friend. Finally...
I haven't really lost him.
He's not really a friend.
He went to the toilet...
... and puff, he disappeared.
You have a relationship?
No.
I just gave him a lift.
It's not so clever...
... for a girl
to take hitchhikers.
People are nasty nowadays.
They rape everything that moves.
Large, small...
... elderly, children,
skinny ones, tall ones...
Fat ones?
Yeah. The fat ones too, yeah...
They rape even corpses
hanging from the ceiling.
The range of possibilities is vast,
miss.
I know, yeah...
Is the... is he an adult?
Of course he's adult.
Well, I can't do anything for you.
I'm surprised.
When an adult disappears...
... you can't do anything.
That Is The Law!
Great laws we have.
And if his corps reappears
on the surface of a channel?
- You over-react.
Give me your name and phone.
- Charlotte Massot. MAS...
- Wait, wait.
MASSOT Charlotte.
Charlotte...
Char-lot-te.
Phone?
OK.
Goodbye, miss.
Oh la la, what a jewel!
Shit!
- I can spot small cuties
like her from miles away.
Here. You take my place
in the shed with the rest.
So, my little darling?
Too bad you came back!
That's my boy?
Huh?
Do you like my boy, huh?
Hmm...?
Here.
John Wayne, John Wayne...
- You should eat
my little heart.
It's not appetizing...
... but it's rich on iron.
Here...
... you'll need it.
A good yum yum!
He wasn't well prepared,
that one!
OK then?
Go...
Well, anyway!
Go...
"John Wayne"
Hey, you!
Ho!
Hey, you! Untie me!
John Wayne will not!
Idiot, untie me!
Look!
Come on!
Hurry!
Shit!
Hey, John Wayne,
let's see what you can do.
John Wayne! John Wayne!
C'mon...
Go!
Yes... Yes!
Go ahead. Shoot!
Shhh.
You take care of the stuff...
Shit!
Go ahead.
- I practiced catching
in my younger years.
You must be pretty
good to beat me.
Move!
Hello?
Hello...
- You won't make this blow twice.
Tomorrow's your time for the chair.
John Wayne, John Wayne...
- Is there a problem
with the toilet?
Yeah.
There was a brawl
with a couple of bikers.
- So if we want to...
Go outside?
Well, yeah. No choice.
Yeah...
Until tomorrow, John John.
I fucked your score.
Uh...
I talked with a Miss
Charlotte Massot.
She reported
the disappearance of a friend.
Really?
Yes. She came from your place.
When?
Last Saturday.
In the weekend
my mother is here.
Ah...
You must ask her self.
- Is she here?
- No.
She takes care of the farm.
He doesn't look very well.
There was a cop in the bar.
He asked lots of questions.
Who cares of this old fart!
Go and take care of the new ones.
They won't be long now.
I like the little girl.
She's nice.
It's really petty for her.
I'm talking to you!
- She hasn't always been like that,
you know.
When my brothers died,
she became crazy.
The authorities preferred
to let them die in the mine...
... rather than risk
a gas blast.
We can't do anything against them.
The village people
talked about creatures...
... born of the mud and blood of the dead.
Miners were killed underground.
We laughed a lot about that,
I can tell you.
It's really weird
whom they chose, you know.
We dug too deep, I think.
My mother says that
the earth wants blood.
And we have no right
to refuse.
Bonjour, Madame!
Oh, my God!
Pardon.
I did not want to scare you.
- It's OK.
Is only so few visits...
... these times.
What can I do for you?
- I want you to tell me
about Charlotte Massot.
Don't know anything.
But if...
I met her in your yard,
and it's not long ago.
I remember it well...
... pretty little things like her,
don't come here so often.
Oh yes...
A small dark-haired?
Yes.
- Pretty girl.
- Yes.
It may have happened
something to her.
What makes you say that?
how about coming in for 5 minutes?
You're standing there lost
and I forget my manners.
Sit down.
Thank you.
I'll make a coffee for you.
Although my road...
... they're just out there, huh.
All right, all right.
You took me for a coward, eh?
But frankly,
I don't blame you.
OK. Come here.
Come here...
I told you it wasn't safe
to give a lift to a hitchhikers.
Come.
Give me a good reason
to not shoot you.
I don't know one.
You.
I'll kill them. All!
What are you looking for?
- We have a chance maybe.
They are lower
when the moon is decreasing.
We must return to the heap.
They can live
in the land of the tips.
Well La Spack?
Laughing less now?
You fat slut!
This isn't the day to quit smoking.
Chinaski? Chinaski!
- Forget it.
We gotta be there before nightfall.
Chinaski!
Ha!
Look what I found!
Perfect timing.
We're lucky.
We're what?
I wanted to fuck this little slut.
That's right!
- It's a mania!
- Yeah, but I like it.
The old Spack!
Oh, damn!
- She sucks!
Why did she throw this head?
- Were going to fuck her
or shall we start with you?
What's this crap?
We must barricade.
Must barricade ourselves!
Tonight, she'll let them out,
and they'll kill us all.
Out? Whom?
Believe me,
you better don't wanna know.
You gonna believe?
We'll have to break out guys.
do you hear me, you bitches?
You, shut up!
The old one is kidding us and we're
stumbling like empty cans.
What's that?
- It was my father.
He did shooting competitions.
- You're well equipped!
- Should be enough until dawn.
- She never takes off
her coat of mail, yeah.
Hey!
Max!
Get out of there!
The girl has confused your head, huh?
It's a 50", granny. You like it?
You really have a problem, you know.
When I shoot you,
you have to yell!
Come on, once more!
Even on this side of the barrel...
... you're still the same...
... jerk mouth!
You've got a large mouth
for a crazy old bitch!
You're so crazy that you don't
know when you're fucked!
It's you who's fucked!
What's that crap?
She wants blood...
... the earth?
I'll give it to her myself.
Holy shit!
Damn!
That son of a bitch!
- Yes.
- Yeah?
Do you know the story of
the masochist, the sodomite...
... the necrophiliac, the sadist
the arsonist and the murderer?
- No.
- No?
It's really funny.
I'm going to pee, and then I'll tell you.
Translation:
A Huge Animal From The North