Quit eyeballing me, Flavius.
I knew you when you was
a two-bit hustler on Bull Street.
JOHN: Excuse me!
Where can a fella get a cab?
DRIVER:
He just left.
You can call the company, but I's you,
I'd wait on him to come back.
DRIVER:
'Less you want to take a ride.
JOHN: You going to Jones Street?
DRIVER: I'll get you there.
DRIVER:
Put your stuff in there.
(DRIVER OVER SPEAKER)
To your right, Pirate's House...
...built in 1794.
All the ne'er-do-wells and scalawags
divided up their booty there.
Sherman stayed
in the Green-Meldrim House...
...to rest up
after his fiery march through Atlanta.
He was going to burn Savannah...
...but the locals drowned him
in Chatham Artillery punch...
...and fancy parties till he decided...
...to spare our fair city.
Forsyth Park, ladies and gentlemen.
Hey!
You looking for something?
No.
MRS. BAXTER:
Mr. Kelso?
MRS. BAXTER: Are you Mr. Kelso?
JOHN: Yes.
I'm Lorene Baxter.
Welcome to Savannah.
Town & Country
is my favorite magazine.
Oh, my land, where are my manners?
What can I get you to drink?
Anything cold would be great.
MRS. BAXTER:
Mr. Williams restored this home.
One of the many he saved
from the wrecking ball.
MRS. BAXTER: The carriage house
is reserved for Jim's clients...
...and guests, such as yourself.
RECEPTIONIST:
He's here.
BETTY:
Welcome, Mr. Kelsy.
BETTY: I'm sorry, Mr. Kelso?
JOHN: John Kelso.
Yes.
I'm Betty Harty.
BETTY:
Sonny's been expecting you.
JOHN:
I'm here to see Jim Williams.
BETTY:
Sonny's Jim's attorney.
SONNY:
Well, hell...
...come on in, coach.
John Kelso.
Welcome to the old curiosity shop.
Take a seat.
SONNY:
You let me know.
SONNY: How was your trip?
JOHN: Fine. Mr. Williams said...
He will be right along. We have
a little business to attend to first.
Confidentiality agreement.
Just boilerplate stuff.
Plus a paragraph...
...outlining Jim's editorial privileges.
Town & Country flew me down to write
a 500-word story on a Christmas party.
It's a literary postcard.
Are you serious about this?
It's not just any party.
Have you asked the magazine?
I'd rather have your word
than some New York lawyer.
Be that as it may...
...I'm not going to sign that.
Damn!
How come?
It's just a little old party write-up.
All the more reason
not to compromise my ethics.
As a professional,
I'm sure you understand.
Promise to be fair?
Yes, of course.
SONNY:
Jim...
...this is John Kelso.
Hello.
Let's take a walk,
shall we, sport?
JIM:
We'll go around Forsyth Park.
BETTY:
Would y'all mind...?
JIM:
Not at all, Betty.
JIM:
Come on.
Did you sign Sonny's papers?
Actually, no.
Good for you. Sonny's
overly protective of my interests.
- Still walking the dog, Mr. Glover?
MR. GLOVER: Yes, sir.
Patrick do love his morning walk.
WOMAN: Would you mind? Could I please
have my picture made with Uga?
WOMAN:
Great.
WOMAN:
Thanks.
JOHN:
All right. Smile.
WOMAN: Thanks.
Dang good dog.
WOMAN:
Thank you very much.
JIM:
Thank you for asking.
No matter what you and I ever do
in our lives, Mr. Kelso...
...neither of us
will be as famous as Uga.
JIM:
He's the university mascot.
JIM: "The Georgia Bulldog."
JOHN: Is that right?
JOHN: I know I'm going to regret asking,
but that man said he was walking a dog.
What dog?
Mr. Glover was the law firm porter.
JIM: Mr. Bouhan said in his will that
Mr. Glover should continue to be paid...
...$ 15 every week for walking Patrick,
his Labrador.
So...
...where's Patrick?
Patrick went on to his great rewards
- The dog's dead.
- Quite.
JOHN:
Why doesn't Mr. Glover walk Uga?
Well, then, who'd walk Patrick?
JOHN:
I see.
JIM: There it is.
JOHN: This is your house?
JIM: Built by General Hugh Mercer
in 1860, but he never lived in this house.
His great-grandson was Johnny Mercer.
JOHN:
The songwriter?
Savannah's own.
What's your favorite of his tunes?
My mother was always partial
to "Fools Rush In."
Your mother.
Indeed.
JIM: I'd love to give you a tour,
but they're still setting up for the party.
JOHN:
I thought the party was tomorrow night.
JIM:
There are two parties.
JIM: Tonight is for bachelors.
Gentlemen only.
Would you like to come?
I'd like to cover it.
JIM: I'm sorry. It's private.
Reporters aren't allowed.
Would you like to see my shop?
It's back here in the carriage house.
JIM: This house is one of the largest
in Savannah. It covers an entire block.
JIM:
It's right in here.
This is where we do all of our...
...restorations.
This landscape, is it a Stubbs?
JIM:
Very good.
My father was a dealer.
JIM: It's called Newmarket Heath
with a Rubbing-Down House.
It's a recent purchase I will unveil
at tomorrow night's event.
It's an odd piece.
JIM: Yes.
The impasto is interesting.
Where's your black light?
It's an overpaint.
Very good, sport.
JOHN: You had it x-rayed yet?
JIM: No.
How will you know
what it's obscuring?
I rather enjoy not knowing.
(STREET NOISES OVER TAPE)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
JOHN:
Just a minute.
JOHN: Who is it?
MAND Y: Mandy.
JOHN: Who?
MAND Y: Mandy.
JOHN:
I don't know a Mandy.
MAND Y: Of course not.
You won't open the damn door.
Hi. Nice to meet you.
Hi.
You all got some ice?
Sure, help yourself.
MAND Y: Joe Odom's fridge is on the blink.
And plus, at present...
...we don't have electricity.
MAND Y:
Thirsty?
Me? No.
No, not really.
If you're thirsty, a drink'll cure it.
If you're not, a drink'll prevent it.
Prevention is better than a cure.
Put on some pants, John Kelso.
Sure, just let me get a pair.
MAND Y: This is our newest addition
to the Odom House.
MAND Y: As you see, Joe's been creative
with our electrical dilemma.
JOE: I done this before
and I ain't never been killed yet.
JOE:
But there's a first time for everything.
JOE:
There we go!
JOE:
We got it!
JOE:
No problem.
JOHN:
Joe Odom?
MAND Y:
The one, the only.
Where's my libation?
Hold these.
To Savannah Electric and Power!
And let's not forget our friends...
...the...
...whoever!
Here's to you!
All right, inside.
Honey, that's a tough job,
but you're talking to the lady. Hello!
Have you met Mr. Kelso,
our newest addition to Savannah?
Jerry Spence.
JOHN: How are you?
JERRY: I'm charmed now.
JERRY: How are you?
JOHN: I'm pretty good.
- I wonder if he goes to my church?
MAND Y: I wonder.
JOHN:
Episcopalian.
MAND Y:
We'll find out.
(JOE SINGING)
Sanitation
I see all night long
Hauling in great big cans
I'm hoping one day soon
She'll let me be a Hefty man
In the Dumpster
We'll be making love
In the Dumpster
Beneath the stars above
In the Dumpster
I smell paradise
Don 't have to ask me twice
It's all I'm thinking of
Just me and that trash girl
Making that Dumpster love
Do you like that?
Strong.
Strong and good.
Chatham Artillery punch.
What's in it?
Whatever's available on both counts.
Great party.
Great house.
The fella that owns it is in Europe
for a year. Asked me to look in on it.
Water the plants.
Squatting?
That's a vicious word.
You're not a lawyer, are you?
No. No.
Good. They're the scum of the earth.
And I should know...
...being an ex-barrister myself.
JOHN:
Ex?
Ceremoniously disbarred
not two years ago.
Had a little accounting snafu.
What do you do now?
Me and Mandy,
we're going to open a piano bar.
You already have one.
Looks that way, doesn't it?
Wait a minute.
Hold the music.
JOE:
Look.
Look at this.
Jerry Spence.
You have outdone yourself again.
That is a coif definitely befitting
your stature as the future ex...
...Mrs. Joe Odom.
Keep dreaming, darling.
JERRY:
You're in love.
She is one beautiful woman.
You two engaged?
Not yet.
It's getting late. I'm going to
hit the road. Nice meeting you.
No, wait a minute.
Joe's rule #2:
If you have to leave a party,
you always take a traveler.
I can live with that one.
Nice to meet you.
Hey, there.
Better to be on the edge of a party,
don't you think?
Thanks for inviting me.
Anytime.
Every time.
Earlier...
...how'd you know my name?
Welcome to Savannah.
Mr. John Kelso?
This is for you.
(JOHN OVER MACHINE) I'm not in. Leave
a message and I'll get back to you.
- Mr. Kelso?
- Yes.
I'm Lucille Wright.
I cater Mr. Williams' parties.
- Nice to meet you.
- He'll be down shortly.
Would you like to see what we'll serve?
Of course.
Come in.
Lots of fresh vegetables...
...hot bread...
...jumbo shrimp.
Let's see.
This is smoked ham and turkey.
JOHN:
Both.
LUCILLE: A big fruit platter.
And this is a wonderful crab dish.
JOHN:
A bisque?
- Jeff Braswell.
- John Kelso.
- I shoot Jim's parties.
- Let's get a shot of the whole spread.
Town & Country
loves its pretty pictures.
LUCILLE:
And pumpkin cornbread.
Mr. Williams insists on
low-country cooking for his parties.
Oh, you're going to have fun tonight.
JIM:
Indeed he is, Lucille.
Good fit.
I have an eye for framing things.
Welcome to Mercer House, Mr. Kelso.
You have outdone yourself again
this year.
LUCILLE:
Well, thank you.
JIM: I'm glad to see you.
Merry Christmas.
JIM:
Merry Christmas.
There you are. The man with the cigar.
So happy you're back.
Emma.
Did you watch my drink for me?
Merry Christmas.
JIM: I thought you'd tried
to steal it from me.
- Senator, how are you?
- Great.
Merry Christmas to you.
So happy to have you here.
Look at you.
Welcome to Mercer House.
I think we have
quite a party going tonight.
Look at that niece of mine.
Come over here.
- How are you?
- John Kelso.
Oh, darling!
You look so pretty tonight.
I have one just like that at home.
I see our emerald bird has arrived.
Good to see you.
Handsome as ever.
- How are you, dear?
- I'm just fine.
Now who is that magnificent creature?
That is Serena Dawes.
Serena, you are
as gorgeous as ever.
I try.
Celebrated beauty in her day.
When her tycoon husband died, she
moved back to Savannah and created...
...sort of a museum to herself
in her boudoir.
I'll introduce you.
HARRY: You look very nice.
SERENA: Who are these people?
How lovely to see you out of bed.
Why, Jim,
I'd get out of bed for you anytime.
Harry was just about to show us
the latest addition to his arsenal.
You know what that is?
That is a.25.
My late husband blew his brains out
with one of those.
- So did mine.
- What?
I was fixing myself a drink and Gunsmoke
was on TV and I heard a shot.
I thought it was part of the show till
I walked in and Lyman was bleeding...
...sprawled in his favorite chair.
Everyone knew
our marriage was a disaster.
If I'd so much as touched that gun,
they'd have charged me with murder.
Yes, well, one day...
...I will shoot a man.
I may start with you. Or you.
- Is that loaded?
- Oh, yeah.
Which conversation shall we join?
The one least likely to involve gunfire.
Excuse me for a moment.
That's from Napoleon's
coronation carriage.
You have an impressive collection.
No, Mr. Kelso. Look around.
It's not a collection, it's my home.
- Faberg?
- I'm a minor enthusiast.
Minor?
Three eggs...
...a jewelry box and, I believe,
a gold-leaf album.
Nicholas himself would be lucky
to have so much Faberg.
Wouldn't he?
I admit to that.
Would you care
to see something a little more...
...unusual?
That'd be very nice.
Hello, Mother, darling.
- Are you enjoying yourself?
- I'm having a wonderful time.
John Kelso.
He's a writer, Mother.
This is what we call the ballroom.
JOHN:
Is this the prized relic?
JIM:
It's a very rare relic.
This is the dagger
that Prince Yussopov used...
...to murder Rasputin.
He sliced off
his cock and balls with it.
True story...
...and deliciously evil,
don't you think?
Delicious.
German Luger?
Be careful, it's loaded.
We've had burglaries.
Everybody's got loaded guns around here.
So tell me.
Has your family always collected?
That's a very genteel way of asking
if I come from old money.
- Do you?
- No.
I was born in Gordon, Georgia,
a little town outside of Macon.
My father was a barber,
sometime house builder.
My mother was a secretary.
What money I have is about 11 years old.
So, yes, I am...
...nouveau riche.
But then it's the riche that counts.
There's only 2 things
that interest me...
...work...
...and those trappings of aristocracy
that I find worthwhile.
The very things they're forced to sell
when the money runs out.
And it always runs out.
And then all they're left with...
...is their lovely manners.
Fuck you, goddamn bitch!
BILLY:
Wouldn't even let me in the house.
Had to come in the servants' entrance.
Excuse me for a minute?
We agreed you'd stay away tonight.
Don't give me that drag-ass shit.
I got stood up tonight, I'm pissed off.
Give me $20.
You get paid on Friday
like everyone else.
Give me $20.
- I need it to get fucked up, is what.
- You've accomplished that, sport.
BILLY:
Give me the money.
I ain't even close to getting fucked up
the way I want to get.
I'm not going to give you money
for liquor or marijuana...
...or whatever else you've invited...
Fuck you, Jim!
You don't give me warnings!
I give them to you! I can back mine up.
And you, you piece of shit!
You better watch yourself.
Fuck you.
That's Billy Hanson.
He works part-time in the shop...
...and can, on occasion,
be a very colorful character.
(DOGS BARK)
I don't know who hates me more,
the Atwells or their dogs.
Lon Atwell's been upset with me since I
had him removed from the museum board.
There's only one way to remedy this.
(ORGAN MUSIC)
JIM:
Thank you, Senator.
SENATOR:
It was a hell of a bash, Jim.
SENATOR: You've outdone yourself.
WIFE: Delightful.
WIFE: We thoroughly enjoyed it.
Thanks for having us.
This...
You have my book.
You seem surprised.
JOHN: It didn't exactly
fly off the bookshelves.
What a coincidence,
that I'd be assigned...
...to this story
and you'd have read my only book.
There are no coincidences.
Have you ever written
for Town & Country before?
JOHN:
No.
You requested me?
They've wanted to cover
my Christmas party for years.
My acceptance of their offer this year
was contingent on one thing:
Your participation.
Thank you for that.
No, thank you.
Now sit back, relax, enjoy your brandy
and tell me your life story, John Kelso.
It's getting late
and I have an early flight...
...so maybe I can take
a rain check on that. Next Christmas.
If you make the cut.
We'll hope for the best.
I can't wait to see the article,
and I hope you have enough...
...for your 500-word essay.
Believe me, I could use 10,000.
Thanks for everything.
I'll show myself out.
JIM:
Oh, and sport...
...I really did like your book.
Thank you.
(SIRENS)
That's a beautiful jacket.
I believe it's an endangered species.
Look at that 14-karat gold dress
and Tony Manero.
Who's hungry?
MAND Y:
Want some punch, baby?
Oh, that's such a good pony.
JOE: What are you doing,
getting that horse drunk?
What happened?
That Jim Williams
went and shot somebody.
Canap?
What?
He sure did. Those lights
ain't part of the Christmas display.
For real?
Yes, sir.
He shot somebody.
Look at that man go.
I'm starting to like that Yankee.
What's that saying?
Curiosity killed the Yankee? That's it.
JIM: He was drunker when he got back,
and I'll tell you...
...when he's been drinking,
he's got another personality altogether.
He'd already smashed things upstairs
earlier.
And he must've gone
to some drive-in B movie...
...with throats being slashed.
No doubt it had an effect,
because I've never seen him that angry.
He and I got into an argument.
He destroyed this beautiful,
priceless antique clock in the hallway.
If you'd like to...
...spike that up...
...the bar's in the living room.
No, thank you.
I'm still on duty.
I know that.
I'm sorry.
This is very upsetting.
How much longer
is this going to take?
What are you doing here?
I work for the city, too.
I got the film from that party.
JEFF:
I'll get it to you.
Great, great.
JIM: He came into the office
and he stood there and he yelled...
..."I might be leaving tomorrow,
but goddamn it, you're leaving tonight."
Then he fired at me twice and I pulled
the Luger from my desk and fired back.
If it had happened to you,
you would've done exactly what I did.
I have never been so scared in my life.
If I had not shot at Billy...
...I have no doubt it'd be my obituary
you'd be reading tomorrow.
SONNY: What're you doing here?
JOHN: The thing was open.
SONNY:
Jesus Christ, Frank!
My client has nothing to say.
I can't believe you would do this
without calling me!
How long have we known each other?!
SONNY: Is this entrapment, Frank?
What the hell is going on?
Sorry, I'm not going to have time
to process this.
JEFF:
Film from the party.
Jim told me
you heard Hanson threaten him.
No-good street hustler.
I told Jim he was dangerous.
JOHN:
Forget about Town & Country.
I know I've been here only 3 days and
it's just a shooting, but give it time.
This place is fantastic. It's like
Gone With the Wind on mescaline.
I know you're my agent.
Listen to me.
They walk imaginary pets here
on a fucking leash, okay?
They're all heavily armed and drunk.
New York is boring.
I'll call you later.
SONNY: Largent's up for reelection,
so he'll try to get this to trial.
He won't take my damn phone calls...
...so we'll have to use the back door.
I'll be back.
Thanks for coming over, coach.
Jim's in the office.
SONNY: We talked about something
we'd like to run by you.
JOHN:
You want me to kill the story.
Done.
Great, great.
Why?
Actually, I was...
...considering...
...writing a book.
Sweet Jesus.
A book about what?
Self-defense happens all the time.
Then why are you worried about the D.A.?
I overheard in the lobby.
SONNY:
We're a small town.
We defend ourselves, our reputations...
...against the outside world.
Word gets around a New Yorker's
trying to make us look bad...
...you'll find Savannahians
can get tight-lipped.
If there's a trial, will I be a witness?
You threatening me?
Absolutely not.
You perjure yourself,
you'll find yourself in jail.
I wouldn't do it.
When it comes to this, I'm at ground zero.
If there's nothing worth writing...
...then you got no worries.
That's what I get paid for.
I will not permit this.
I don't need anyone's permission.
Not really.
Then why are you soliciting it?
You need my permission...
...my help...
...my acquiescence...
...or you don't have a story.
Not really.
We both know that.
So would the river flow both ways?
Meaning?
Would you share whatever information
you garner with me and Sonny?
Yes, but it won't change what I write.
And you don't get to see a word of it
until it's published.
So...
...who'd be the main character
in this book?
SONNY: Have you written up cases
like this before?
JOHN:
A few of them for Esquire, yeah.
What do you think?
What do I think?
If you're worried about the D.A.,
grand juries read papers.
Proper spin control
could make a big difference.
What the hell are you talking about?
You said Hanson was a street hustler.
Did he have a record?
Take drugs?
Deal drugs? Pimp?
That kind of spin
can influence a grand jury.
Get investigators to hit the streets.
Every P.I. In town's an off-duty cop.
Besides, why would we need a P. I...
...when we got ourselves
a hotshot New York writer...
...filling all the gaps?
Take care, bubba.
CHABLIS: Are you the flower man?
- No, I'm John Kelso.
Good morning, I'm a writer
and wanted to ask you...
If you're not the flower man,
leave me be.
The Lady's in mourning, and
I haven't received a flower or a rose...
...or anything to show for it.
Please leave me be.
I know Billy Hanson used to live here.
I wanted to ask a few questions.
And if it's an inappropriate time,
I'll come back later.
I can't believe you're running around
ringing my doorbell. Where you from?
Where are your manners?
Just leave me be.
My condolences.
I'll call...
I'll come back another time, or...
I apologize for the delay.
Why, thank you. They're lovely.
They're absolutely lovely.
I'd love to ask you a few questions,
if you have a minute.
Is this your car?
How about a ride home?
Thank you.
What I want to know is,
what is a white boy like you...
...doing driving a big old brother's
jive-ass heap like this shit here?
I just bought this.
I kind of like it. It's not a bad car.
No, it's not bad.
Did I hurt your feelings?
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
I can't help it.
I just call things out as I see it.
I just can't help it.
I just do that.
- One thing you needn't worry about.
- What's that?
Ain't nobody going to try
to steal this piece of shit.
I'm just practicing up till I can save
enough money to get my Rolls.
Chablis is a pretty name.
It's unusual.
Thank you. I got it off a wine bottle.
It's a show name.
- You're an actress?
- I'm not an actress. I'm a showgirl.
I work at the Pick-Up on Congress.
I lip-synch, I emcee, I dance.
You know, shit like that.
The person you see now
is just little old simple Chablis.
But in the evenings...
...when I put on my gowns
and my makeup...
...and my jewelry and my perfume...
...I become "The Lady Chablis."
You are just so cute.
A cool white wine for a cool black girl.
And you're full of flattery too.
It's getting hot up in here, honey.
My shots are kicking in.
Excuse me?
Yes, honey, my shots.
Never mind that.
What'd you want to talk to me about?
Billy Hanson.
No. Billy's dead.
Case closed.
Was he your boyfriend?
Billy, my boyfriend?
Were you two lovers?
No. Hell, no.
Billy was way too trashy for me, honey.
I'm a lady.
However, he did date
my roommate Corinne for a while.
CHABLIS: The two of those
had some wild times together.
CHABLIS: Those are beautiful.
JOHN: So, tell me more about Corinne.
Corinne's like a lot of girls.
She found herself attracted
to the wrong type of man.
Billy was not the right type of man.
She thought she could change him.
But there was no way of changing
that evil son of a bitch.
- I'd love to speak to Corinne.
- I'd like to too.
But she skipped town
owing me two months' rent.
And Billy said he would pay for it,
but now he's...
But you know...
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
But you know,
it's like my mama always said...
..."Two tears in a bucket...
...motherfuck it."
I have to remember that one.
Don't remember that one.
That's off-the-record.
Let me get your door for you.
Thank you, hon.
In the phone book,
you were listed as F. De Veau.
What's the "F" stand for?
The "F" stands for Frank, hon.
That's me.
SONNY: She's a he.
JOHN: Correct.
You're shitting me.
If this thing heats up,
I think you'll want to talk to her.
SONNY:
Proper folks don't discuss such things.
She paints a rotten picture of Billy.
SONNY: Let me tell you a story.
There was a judge here years ago.
His oldest boy was messing around
with a gangster's girlfriend.
One morning they found him...
...lying under the porch
with his privates tucked into his lapel.
Dead men tell no tales.
Next day, headline read...
..."Fall From Porch Proves Fatal."
Some fall.
What's your point?
Saving face in the light of unpleasant
circumstances is the Savannah way.
I'll try to track down that real girl.
Corinne, you said?
Well, I got to skedaddle.
Doing Christmas at Tybee Island.
We got all sorts of folks coming.
JOHN:
Have a great Christmas.
SONNY: You too, John.
JOHN: See you later, Uga.
(OVER TV)
Merry Christmas!
(FLIES BUZZ)
He's got it on a string!
Luther's not eating!
Check, please.
You didn't like it?
No, they were very good.
Excellent.
What was in the vial?
He says it's enough poison
to kill everybody in the county.
If he eats and it's a good day...
...fine.
If he doesn't eat...
...let's put it this way: If I were
you, I wouldn't drink the water today.
Where does he put the poison?
In the water supply system.
Is that true?
Do you believe that?
I've lived here a long time, honey.
I believe most anything about anybody.
Where are we going?
Patience, dear boy.
JIM: It's time you meet the most
important member of my defense team.
We're going to the cemetery?
Not Bonaventure.
The colored cemetery's down the road.
Looks like we got the garden
all to ourselves tonight.
Meet Minerva.
How do you do?
You trying to work me, boy?
Put that hand back in your pocket.
I feel sorry for you.
Do tell, Minerva.
He think nobody love him.
That's silly.
We've never met.
You got a hole in you.
Too many questions.
Don't know whether to be this way
or that without the answers.
There ain't no answers.
You come a long way to find that out,
didn't you?
Now we got to get to work.
You bring the money?
MINERVA:
Put it on the grave.
MINERVA: Kiss it first,
so it come back to you.
You bring the shiny dimes?
Bury them.
He's working hard again you, James.
Who? Dr. Buzzard?
The boy.
The dead boy.
JIM: Oh, Billy.
That doesn't surprise us.
Dr. Buzzard?
(FOGHORN)
MINERVA:
Ain't got much dead time left.
Dead time?
Lasts an hour.
Half-hour before midnight
till half past.
Half-hour before midnight
for working good.
Half-hour after for evil.
We'll need a little of both tonight.
You got the bottle of water?
Ain't been through no pipe?
Give it to me.
We got to make him...
...Ioosen up on James.
I need Shango...
...and a little hungan.
Come.
Come!
Tell me something about him.
He tried to kill me?
No, before then.
Something good.
Your kind words...
...take root, flower,
come back to bless you.
Something that made him happy?
His Camaro.
JIM: He loved his Camaro.
He wouldn't let anyone near it.
That car was his pride and joy.
Keep talking. It's working.
It's working!
He spray painted it flat black.
You should've seen him.
He spent hours on that car, fixing it...
...cleaning it.
He painted racing stripes on it...
...and all kinds of other things.
He was very creative.
That's something
most people didn't know.
He was an artist.
Just now,
when you were saying them things...
...I felt him ease off.
He heard you say you love him.
That's preposterous.
He tried to kill me.
He was working against you,
and now I know why.
He wants you to tell the whole world
you hated him.
Maybe they think you hated him
enough to kill him.
If you do that, you go to jail...
...and he know that.
Most important thing:
You got to beg that boy's forgiveness
each and every day.
(BELL TOWER RINGS)
Time for evil.
Quick, quick.
Tell me his name.
Finley Largent.
When you get home, write his name
Connect all the names into one.
Dot no I's, cross no T's.
Fold it twice and put it in your pocket.
Get a picture.
Sew up the mouth with dove's blood.
Blacken the eyes.
Now go!
I got works to do.
Boy!
Take these words to heart.
To understand the living...
...you got to commune with the dead.
Now go!
And don't you dare look back!
(MINERVA CHANTS)
Jim...
On the grave...
Who is Dr. Buzzard?
Minerva was married to Dr. Buzzard...
...the foremost voodoo practitioner
in Beaufort County.
You may not know it,
but you are deep in voodoo country.
I don't believe
in the hocus-pocus of it...
...but the spiritual force behind it.
The shiny dimes were easy...
...but the virgin water
was a trick or two.
How do you know she wouldn't know
the difference if it was tap water?
Not by looking or taste...
...but she would've known
in an instant by looking at my face.
I think...
...the photo-doctoring
is going to be good therapy.
What about the pleas
for daily forgiveness?
No, I don't think that's
going to be happening. Definitely not.
WOMAN: Thank you.
MAND Y: Have a good day.
JOHN: Hey, you.
MAND Y: How are you?
JOHN: How you doing?
MAND Y: Good.
You work here?
What you see is what you get.
Nothing wrong with that.
Gee, thanks.
JOHN:
These are nice.
MAND Y:
You want to send some flowers?
I think so.
I don't know, though.
It's kind of complicated.
For whom?
What's she like?
I don't know her that well.
Roses are a favorite.
A bit presumptuous.
How about...
...poinsettias?
Perennials might
give the wrong impression.
- Too long-term?
- Yeah, it's hard to say.
This is complicated.
How about petunias?
They're pretty without
being presumptuous, smell nice...
...and in 3 days you throw them out.
Sound like what you're looking for?
Sorry, we're all out of petunias.
(ENGINE NOISE)
JOE: Come on, get up, Lewis.
Get up.
JOE:
Get on up.
Good afternoon, Yankee John.
Joe!
That sounds like a dead battery.
Woman that owns the tour company
rear-ended me...
...so to speak.
Where we headed?
How about live entertainment?
JOE:
Get on up, Lewis.
JOE:
That's a good horse.
CHABLIS:
Hey, bitch!
(ALL)
Hey, bitch!
Let the house say it like you mean it.
Let the house say, "Hey, bitch!"
(ALL)
Hey, bitch!
Yes, I am a bitch,
and proud of it, honey.
Your mama is just sweating. I'm putting
a sweating in front of you white folks.
But then again, I want you all to know
how hard a girl is working for you.
Excuse me, darling.
Excuse me.
Oh, my God!
"Oh, my God," nothing, honey.
"Oh, my empress" is what you should say.
Y'all been necking
since I walked out on stage.
Look, our Ivory Soap-using girl.
Love them kind of bitches, baby.
Either he got some good old stuff,
girl, or you horny as hell.
Is this your boyfriend?
Your husband?
My husband.
What does Mr. Man do for a living?
He's a doctor.
A doctor?
You better grow you some nails, because
if he's a gynecologist, he's mine.
I am serious, honey.
He is mine. A doctor. Grow your nails,
I'm going to take him away from you.
Look at him just blushing.
You're so cute.
You want to give me a physical?
I have nothing to hide.
You better have American Express, baby.
But you know what?
That's okay about him.
Because the Doll has already got
some white boy...
...running after her good old stuff.
Spotlight, shine a spotlight over there.
Right over there.
You see that fine white man right there?
That one, there.
He has been running the Doll all
around Savannah trying to get some.
First day I met him,
he brought the girl roses.
Then again, as you well know...
...ain't nothing too good for the Doll.
Ain't nothing too good for the Lady.
I am serious about that.
If I catch any of you bitches near him,
honey...
...I want you to know you'll have
to deal with the Lady Chablis...
...the Doll, the Grand Empress,
and my motherfucking ice pick.
So keep your hands off of that one.
CHABLIS:
Hey, honey love.
JOHN:
How are you, Doll?
CHABLIS: I'm fine.
Who is that handsome man?
JOE:
Joe Odom.
CHABLIS:
Pleased to meet you.
My pleasure. We met before.
We slept together one night.
Narrow it down for the Doll. There
are certain nights I cannot remember.
That's another tale for another time.
My ice cubes are getting a bit dry.
I'll leave you two alone. Ma'am.
Thank you. I'll talk to you later,
you sentimental gentleman.
JOHN:
Hurry back.
Don't let him hurry back.
I need to spend time with you.
How are you?
I'm fine, honey. Still hiding my candy.
Want me to unwrap it for you?
- You don't have to.
- You sure?
Not yet.
I mean, not ever.
- It's a small little wrapper.
- Please.
Like a Tootsie Roll.
Some people don't need to see candy.
Okay, that's fine.
But I got something to tell you.
I got something to tell you.
I have boyfriend number four.
Really?
A tall, blond hunk of a hunk of man.
He's a mechanic on Abercorn Street.
Know where that is?
- I know where that is.
- Treats me like a queen.
No pun intended.
None whatsoever.
You must promise if you
ever meet him, which I doubt you will...
...if you should meet him,
you must never tell him my "T."
- He has no idea.
- Your "T"?
You know, my "T," my truth.
The hide-my-candy thing.
He doesn't know,
so you mustn't say anything.
- Promise me you won't.
- Don't you think he'll find out?
When I'm ready for him to find out,
he'll find out.
Like when I was ready for you
to find out.
But I wasn't looking for your candy.
But you was smelling for it.
- I did not smell your candy.
- Why are you here?
I want to interview you.
Your show was terrific.
Thank you.
You want to interview me?
Yes, very much so.
JOHN:
Sonny!
What happened?
They're trying to
put our friend away for life.
Your Honor...
...the community that put us both
in the positions we now hold...
...would be less than pleased with
an order allowing a wealthy defendant...
...in a first-degree murder case bail.
And they'd be right.
All right, gentlemen.
I have listened carefully
to these arguments.
Mr. Williams is charged
with a very violent crime...
...and Mr. Seiler, I can't grant bail
under these circumstances.
But I will put this case
on a fast track...
...for a speedy trial.
That's all.
Well, sport, looks like there might be
a book in this after all.
Does he have any idea
how serious this is?
You know it and I know it...
...and after tonight,
damn hell, so will he.
JIM:
What is it?
You told Sonny I heard Billy
threaten you the night you shot him.
I heard you threaten him too.
If I testify...
I didn't threaten him.
I warned him.
He had a history of violence.
He was drunk and high.
While trespassing,
he profanely demanded money...
...and brandished
a broken bottle in my face.
Is that not your recollection as well?
- More or less.
- Then your testimony can only help me.
What was it between the two of you?
We'll turn this off.
I don't mind that.
Was it just sex?
Tell me about the relationship.
Billy and I had a bond.
That's not something
they're going to understand.
They'll just see the sex...
...and the age difference.
But Billy was going to
make something of himself.
Great things, great people...
...can come from humble beginnings.
He needed what I gave him...
...and I needed what he gave me.
Now, do you wish
to pass judgement on that?
No.
I'm innocent, John.
It's important that you believe that.
Do you believe that?
Yes, I do.
I'm having trouble
getting anyone to talk to me.
I'll make some arrangements.
Tomorrow, can you bring
the Sotheby's and Christie's catalogues?
They serve dinner here at 7,
so that's when we'll make our calls.
Our calls?
(PHONE RINGS)
Yes, accept the charges, operator.
Jim.
How are you?
All right, sport,
let's give this a try, shall we?
Let's see if we can work this.
All right, it's ringing.
Hello, Jim Williams calling
for Geza von Habsburg.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Geza.
James!
How nice of you to call.
Would you be interested
in my Maximilian desk?
(PRISONER HOWLS ALOUD)
JIM:
Someone, ask him to be quiet.
It sounds like your dog
doesn't want to sell. What's his breed?
That's a Russian wolfhound.
Sounds more like a Shar-Pei.
No, no, that's my Yorkie.
Would someone please
put the dogs in the garden?
I'll take care of the dog for you.
JIM: Now, Geza,
you know I'll want top dollar.
As always.
PRISONER:
Shut up!
(PRISONER PUNCHES OTHER PRISONER)
Is this the Married Women's Card Club?
Yes.
Is anyone going to ring the doorbell?
Oh, heavens, no!
We have very strict rules.
The door opens precisely at 4.
You all look lovely.
Actually, Jim...
...suggested that I introduce you around.
But if we could just keep that
between us...
JOHN: Why?
MRS. VAUGHN: Just a minute.
MRS. VAUGHN:
Everything all right, ladies?
MRS. VAUGHN:
Good.
Jim was a true friend to me
over the years.
But most of these ladies
are still deciding...
...how they'll respond
to this current predicament.
You know...
...the incident.
I have work to do in the kitchen.
Would you like to take a seat?
- I don't play bridge.
- Oh, I don't mean play.
Men aren't allowed.
Especially single men.
But you could sit down and wait.
I'll be right back.
WOMAN: It was a crime passionnel.
A lover's quarrel.
That may be, but I gather
it's going to be rather sticky for Jim.
WOMAN:
Really?
There's no gunpowder on that boy's hand.
He didn't fire the gun...
...as Jim claims.
And the location
of the bullet wounds...
Seems to be at odds with
Mr. Williams' scenario of self-defense.
How so?
One entered the chest.
The second bullet hit the boy in the back.
And the third, well,
the third bullet...
What do you think'll happen to Jim?
It's difficult to say.
Those who are happy Billy is no longer
burning rubber through the squares...
...are the exact people who think...
...that Jim picked a very unseemly way
to exit the closet...
...if you will.
With a bang.
Literally.
And then...
...there are the others.
Tell me about the others.
There's bound to be a certain
resentment about Jim killing that boy.
That boy in particular, I mean.
Why?
Billy was a very accomplished hustler.
By all accounts,
very good at his trade...
...and very much appreciated
by both men and women.
The trouble is...
...he hadn't finished
making the rounds, no.
Billy Hanson was known to be...
...a good time...
...but...
...a good time not yet had by all.
They're saying Jim Williams killed
the best piece of ass in Savannah.
- Is that true?
- I don't know.
You know about ass in Savannah.
What do you think?
Great God!
Good gossip's hard currency in this town.
Folks just paying their bills.
When the chips are down,
they'll be there for Jim. Trust me.
JOHN: Rather hear your legal strategies.
SONNY: Our game plan's still percolating.
JOHN: We had a deal.
I've shared every bit of information...
SONNY:
Come along in.
SONNY:
Now, don't mind us.
SONNY:
Trial date.
Big game 3 weeks from now.
It's a shootout.
Both teams got one silver bullet.
Gunshot residue test, that's theirs.
No gunshot residue on Billy's hands
means he didn't fire.
Means Jim killed him in cold blood...
...mocked up the scene.
How you plan to counter that?
Gunshot residue test is unreliable.
It's inadmissable in some jurisdictions.
Finley's got Doc Poe. We will counter
with cutting-edge science...
...with an expert we got from up north.
They say the scene was contrived.
What do you say?
That's our silver bullet.
Shoddy police work.
Take a look at this.
JOHN:
Jesus! That's me!
Just like you said.
Ground zero.
Cops should never have let you in.
I kind of let myself in
through the back gate.
They shouldn't have let you get in.
(MAND Y SINGING)
Happy together
Unhappy together
And won 't it be fine
Days may be cloudy or sunny
We're in or we're out of the money
But I'm with you always
Come rain or
Shine
Joe Odom.
You're good.
I didn't know you sang.
MAND Y: You never asked.
JOHN: How you doing?
MAND Y: Good, how are you?
JOHN: Hi, Joe.
- You got another set?
- No, me and Joe's just sitting in.
Want to get a cup of coffee?
Business or pleasure?
Come on.
Normally, there'd be no problem.
The general rule is rich people get off.
Problem is, they're usually straight.
See, so it's a volatile issue.
- I'm not crazy?
- No. Neither is Sonny.
Jim's friends knew he was gay.
Secretly, they congratulated themselves
on being so cosmopolitan.
If they knew he was completely open with
his sexuality, they'd have shunned him.
Maybe the jury will too.
You think?
Of course, no one'll ever really know
what happened that night.
But Jim's told the story
a thousand times, never wavered.
You're quite the advocate.
What happened to
"Stick around and stay objective"?
Objectively, it's looking like
they'll hang him for his sexuality.
Something that would never happen
in New York, right?
Well, you said it, not me.
JOHN:
You don't seem like you're from here.
MAND Y:
I was born here, didn't like it...
...moved away.
Figured out the part
I didn't like was me.
So I worked on that,
and I moved back.
I got my first kiss right here.
Sammy Jenks.
Gave him a black eye.
JOHN:
You did? How hard?
Wow!
JOHN:
That's what love'll do.
I have trouble picturing what kind of
woman you'd take the trouble to marry.
JOHN:
First love situation.
We got married a week after graduating
college, if you can believe that.
So what happened?
JOHN:
You want to hear my sob story?
I think she thought
she was marrying Norman Mailer.
She thought I'd be famous.
After the book was published, she'd wake
up at the crack of dawn on Sunday...
...make coffee, cross her fingers...
...and look in that Sunday Times,
sure it was going to be a bestseller.
One Sunday, she didn't wake up early,
didn't make coffee...
...didn't cross her fingers...
...and I knew.
She left you
because your book wasn't a hit?
I don't know, Kelso.
It seems pretty shallow to me.
What about you and Joe Odom?
Me and Joe.
We're just friends.
We have a real musical relationship.
We're like the Steve and Eydie
of Savannah.
JOHN:
My God, it's quiet.
JOHN:
Too quiet.
MAND Y: Joe'll be playing
at that bar until dawn.
I should probably go.
In case you're wondering,
this is the perfect time for a kiss.
Sammy Jenks warned me about you.
Good night.
Ladies and gentlemen,
you constitute our jury for this trial.
It's expected to last several days.
I'll let you go home for the evening...
...instruct you to be back
in the morning at 9:30 in the jury room.
If anybody tries to approach you
about this case...
...report it to me
the first thing in the morning.
You're excused for the evening.
JUDGE:
Mr. Driggers, let me speak to you.
Luther, listen.
This is a courtroom. Don't bring
those flies in here tomorrow.
And leave that vial of water,
or whatever that stuff is, at home.
Sam...
...you know, when we were in Georgia,
I know how you hated my bugs...
...and you know how I love them.
We're no longer at the university.
This is a courtroom.
I'm telling you to leave
all that foolishness at home.
I do take umbrage.
But I'll do it.
JOHN: What is the story
with the guy with the horsefly epaulets?
Luther Driggers.
He's a genius.
Developed the "No-Bug" strip.
The company he worked for
took the credit and the money.
Now he just wanders around town
with a bottle of poison in his pocket.
JOHN:
Of course.
Says someday he's going to put it
in the water supply, do us all in.
Why do you want him on the jury?
We're the defense team.
We need all the nuts we can get.
What about Largent?
Finley's up for reelection.
If he strikes Luther...
...he might upset him enough to...
...you know...
SONNY:
I'll be back in on Sunday.
You've got a murder trial
starting in 3 days. Where you going?
Home opener against 'Bama.
Betty. Henry.
Go, Dogs!
Is he really leaving?
Oh, yeah.
Better say a prayer.
JUDGE:
All right, Mr. Largent...
...the state has the burden of proof,
and you have the opening.
LARGENT:
Your Honor.
LARGENT: Good morning, Your Honor,
ladies and gentlemen of the jury.
The state of Georgia is ready
and most anxious to proceed.
If the court pleases.
The philosopher Thomas Hobbes
is quoted as saying...
...that life is...
...nasty, brutish...
...and short.
And surely it must have seemed so
to Billy Hanson...
...as he lay wounded...
...his blood and his life...
...oozing out
onto Jim Williams' Persian rug.
LARGENT: It's important for you
to know that the defendant...
By the end of this trial...
...I believe...
...that when faced with the evidence...
...you will render...
...the verdict that is fair and just:
Guilty of first-degree murder.
Thank you.
All right, Mr. Seiler,
we've been going for some time now.
Would you prefer to make
your opening statement after recess?
I would prefer to address
the jury now, Your Honor.
What I have to say won't take long.
I apologize if I look tired...
...if my eyes are red...
...if my complexion is sallow.
But I came by it honestly.
Because...
...I have not had much sleep lately.
For while my bed is soft...
...my client's is not.
And while I'm surrounded
by my loving family...
...Jim Williams...
...my friend...
...my client...
...is locked up in a room...
...full of thieves,
murderers and rapists.
You're the ones I want.
You're the ones I trust.
Because although it is Jim Williams
on trial here today...
...when I look at the circumstances...
...I think to myself...
...there...
...but for the grace of God,
go you...
...or I.
You know why?
Because I guaran-damn-tee you:
Someone comes into my home
and shoot at me, I will shoot back.
And I'll shoot back again and again...
...and again,
until I'm sure that they're dead.
Until I'm sure that my home
and my family are safe.
And then...
...old Finley here, my friend...
...would be prosecuting me.
I'd be the one on trial.
And my life...
...would be in the hands...
...of good folks like you.
He is way out-of-bounds.
He didn't object once during ours.
We'll look like assholes.
SONNY:
Folks not swayed by fancy words.
Folks who would not be prejudiced...
...who would not judge a man...
...by the color of his skin...
...or the amount of money that he makes.
I will say...
...the simple fact of the matter...
...is...
...Jim Williams...
...murdered no one.
How did you think it went?
Because I was very pleased.
Sonny has a certain style,
a flair, doesn't he?
From what I've seen...
...that man could weave horseshit
into Egyptian cotton.
JOHN:
Pleasantly surprised.
John Kelso,
I hope you understand.
Might I consider you my friend?
Yes.
The lack of gunshot residue in the hand,
plus the other things I mentioned...
...led me to the conclusion
that the scene was contrived.
Thank you, Detective Boone.
No further questions.
Detective...
...I'd like to revisit
some of the things...
...you said just then in direct.
You testified there was blood
on Hanson's hand, correct?
Yes. There was blood in the palm
of the victim's hand.
And that's important because if Hanson
had been holding the gun...
...there'd be no blood.
But you never saw the blood
on the victim's hand, did you?
No.
The blood was noted
in the autopsy report.
I didn't turn them over
when I bagged them.
SONNY:
I believe you also testified that...
...you believe the final shot was fired
from above the victim, is that correct?
I concluded that the shot came
from someone standing over the victim...
...execution style.
A coup de grce.
A coup de grce?
SONNY:
Will you tell the jury, please...
...did you find Jim's prints
on Billy's gun?
The Luger handle has a textured surface.
Is the answer no, Detective?
Yes, the answer was no.
SONNY:
Yes, the answer is no.
State's 22, Your Honor.
Who's this handsome fellow?
That's me.
SONNY:
Who's this?
That's that reporter fella
from up north.
BOONE:
The one that's working with Williams.
I don't know how he got in.
And this?
Young officer...
...name escapes me.
Understandable. You'd need a program
to keep track of everyone in that room.
Objection!
Counsel's testifying.
Strike that.
I would much rather have
the detective tell us.
SONNY:
How many people was in that room?
BOONE:
Seven.
No, eight.
"Seven, no, eight."
And a pussycat.
SONNY:
Read the funny papers, Detective?
Not often.
In the funny papers they sometimes
have this little competition...
...to find an animal
hidden in an illustration.
I love to play it with my grandson.
You know that game?
We're going to play "Where's Shelton?"
I don't know what Mr. Seiler's trying
to prove with all this, but I assume...
Mr. Finley, we can all play.
Shelton Williams...
...is the defendant's tabby cat.
SONNY:
Now, Detective...
...let's play "Where's Shelton?"
I'll give you a clue.
Take a look at the rug.
Is the answer "yes"?
Yes.
State's 22, Your Honor.
SONNY:
Tabby cat.
SONNY:
Is Shelton Williams on your payroll?
SONNY:
I've heard tell of cat burglars.
Is this a cat detective?
Don't be ridiculous.
I'll tell you what's ridiculous.
You saying that
the scene of the crime was secured.
That's what's ridiculous.
Seven, no, eight people, and a pussycat,
walking all around that room...
You call that secure?
We hung around a lot.
Billy had a car
and he'd give me rides sometimes.
Mr. Tucker, do you,
of your own knowledge...
...know anything of the relationship
between Billy Hanson and...
...Jim Williams?
SONNY:
Objection.
Objection, Your Honor.
Let me see you gentlemen
over here a minute.
JUDGE:
What's this about?
Your Honor, if this boy says
what I think he's going to say...
...you can't ask the jury to ignore it.
You can't let a skunk go in the box
and then say they didn't smell it.
Our intention with Mr. Tucker is to show
the victim was afraid of the defendant.
To do that, he has to describe
the nature of the relationship.
Your intention
is to paint Jim Williams pink...
...then rely on some prejudice
in the jury.
Besides which, whatever he says
will be secondhand.
It would be hearsay.
He asked the witness
if he knew of his own knowledge.
If he knows, it's not hearsay.
I'll allow it...
...but I'll grant you the same latitude
when it's your turn.
Objection's overruled.
Mr. Tucker, the question was,
"Do you, of your own knowledge...
...know anything of the relationship
between Hanson and the defendant?"
Yes, sir.
Jim would give Billy money
when he needed it.
He bought him a car and clothes
for going to bed with him.
To sleep with him?
To...
...have sex with him?
Yes, sir.
LARGENT:
Now, did Billy and Jim Williams...
...have any disagreements...
...if you know?
All the time.
TUCKER:
Jim would be pissed off at Billy...
...for one thing or another.
He was real jealous of Billy.
And what feelings, if any...
...did Billy have about the defendant?
Jim is a rich and powerful man.
Billy was a little afraid of him,
I guess.
Thank you.
Minerva.
SONNY:
Tell me...
...how well did you know Billy Hanson?
What kind of friends were you?
Yes, sir.
He was my best friend in the world.
We saw each other all the time.
There's nothing he wouldn't do for me.
And nothing you wouldn't do for him.
If you're trying to say I'm lying,
I'm not.
Take it easy, young man.
TUCKER:
Everything I say is true.
Of course. There's no reason for it
not to be. That's all we're after here.
How well did you know Jim Williams?
You never did meet him, did you?
Not shaking hands or nothing.
But I stood next to him in the emergency
room when Billy O.D.'d.
Billy Hanson...
...overdosed on drugs?
SONNY:
When?
About a month before Jim killed him.
So Jim Williams...
...took Billy Hanson to the hospital.
He saved his life.
SONNY:
If he wanted him dead...
...why would he do that?
I don't know.
I guess...
Did you...
...ever have sex with Billy?
No.
No, sir.
Are you yourself a homosexual?
Objection.
Relevance?
Mr. Largent, you opened that door.
JUDGE: What's good for the goose
is good for the gander.
I'll let it in.
Thank you, Your Honor.
SONNY:
Want me to repeat the question, George?
I could have the court reporter
read it out.
No, sir.
I ain't no fairy.
I've had some experiences, but...
...I'm out of it now.
Out of it?
Yes, sir.
Would you care to explain to the jury
what you mean by that?
It's wrong.
The Bible says so.
Bible also says
it's wrong to lie.
How long have you been out of it?
Almost 3 weeks.
Congratulations, George.
Good for you.
No further questions, Your Honor.
CHABLIS: Please.
JOHN: Chablis, it's a subpoena!
They'll hold you in contempt.
I don't care if it's an invitation
from God. They fuck with the Doll...
JOHN: You got that off TV.
CHABLIS: Whatever.
JOHN:
They'll hold you in contempt.
I've been held in contempt before.
A man's life is at stake.
What do I have to do
with that man's life? Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Wait. I'll tell you what.
I'll make you a deal.
What kind of deal?
What kind of deal?
Wait, John, be patient.
CHABLIS:
I'll tell you what.
You bring me a truckload of
good-Iooking boys to my show tonight...
...and I'll think about it.
I'd love to, but I can't.
I got to go to some cotillion.
CHABLIS: How boring.
What cotillion are you going to?
The Alpha Phi.
The black people's ball?
You're going to the black people's ball?
CHABLIS:
Oh, John, John.
JOHN: Absolutely not.
CHABLIS: Please? Take me.
I'll be on my best behavior.
I promise, John.
Please take me.
JOHN: I can't.
- I won't shake my ass or cuss.
CHABLIS:
I won't do anything. Please.
These girls are debutantes.
What does that mean? I can't clientele
with uptown black-ass people?
No, but, you know,
debs are carefully scrutinized.
Please.
And?
For the most part...
...not many of them hide their candy...
...and few have been caught shoplifting.
You know, not many.
These bitches must do it damn good,
if they haven't gotten caught yet.
I imagine they do
a lot of volunteer work, Frank.
Stay out of bars, go to churches.
Those kind of ladies.
First of all,
don't you ever call me Frank again.
And are these black girls
we're talking about?
If these are black girls,
they must be some ugly bitches, honey.
CHABLIS: Take me.
JOHN: No.
CHABLIS: Please?
JOHN: Come on.
Take me.
- Cut it out.
- Please take me.
It's good to have you here.
You know, this is our 40th year.
It's lovely.
I do believe we've almost
caught the white cotillion.
Congratulations.
Good evening.
CHABLIS:
Sir, is this spot taken?
- No, ma'am.
- Please don't call me ma'am.
My name's Chablis.
What's yours?
Phillip.
I'm an escort.
An escort.
Do you work for a service?
No, I'm escorting my sister.
Don't tell me you're doing it with her.
PHILLIP: My sister's boyfriend decided
not to come, so I got roped into it.
CHABLIS:
Let me ask you something.
CHABLIS: You ever been arrested?
PHILLIP: No!
Oh, come on.
PHILLIP:
Once, sort of.
PHILLIP: I had a few drinks.
I got a ticket for disturbing the peace.
Disturbing the peace.
I got a piece you can disturb, hon.
I've been admiring your gown.
Thank you very much.
This old thing?
It's very glamorous.
Thank you very much.
Of whom are you a guest?
I'm here with my cousin.
My cousin...
...LaVella.
ALPHABETTE:
LaVella.
She's a lovely girl.
Oh, I think so too.
She's always wanted this...
...since we were kids.
She never thought she'd get it.
She had nothing to worry about.
You know what, hon?
I told her the same thing.
If Vanessa Williams can pull one off
on the Miss America committee...
...then her little whoring around
in Atlanta, Georgia...
...was not going to mean anything to
a little steering committee in Savannah.
And she got it.
I'm so happy for her.
Would you watch my purse?
Phillip and I are going to go
disturb the peace.
What do you think?
Let's go disturb some peace.
Come on.
Oh, Jesus!
Would you excuse me for one moment?
You have a lot of nerve busting in
on me like this.
I got plenty of nerve
to do anything I want to do.
- How far are you going to take this?
- I'm just starting.
Then I'm going to leave.
I don't intend on insulting these people
any more than I have to.
Behave yourself.
Come on.
Let's go.
Stop pushing me.
I'm going.
CHABLIS: Bartender,
could I please have two apple schnapps?
I think you better make those doubles.
CHABLIS: So, John, tell me,
you mad at me, honey?
Are you mad?
Are you?
- We're still friends.
- I hope so. I must tell you something.
You are so sexy when you're mad.
- Behave yourself.
- Stop telling me what to do.
I want to propose a toast.
From my top...
...to your bottom...
...from your bottom to my top...
...from my middle to your middle...
...be good, John,
I just might give you a little.
- Just behave yourself.
- Stop telling me what to do.
Besides,
your star witness is testifying.
Since when?
CHABLIS:
Since I thought about it.
And I realized how nice
you've been to me.
You know what?
You've treated me like a perfect lady.
You've even made me feel
so very special.
You know,
people can be so mean sometimes.
But not you.
I want to ask you something.
John, do you think I'm beautiful?
Yes, I think you're very pretty.
CHABLIS: Pretty?
I'm just not your type?
Are you testifying for me?
Of course I am. You think I give a shit
about Miss Jim Williams?
I don't even know that bitch.
Never even met her.
Listen...
...on cross-examination they'll be
pretty rough on you and your background.
I have nothing to hide and I'm
not ashamed of anything I've ever done.
You should know that you taking the
stand is a blanket indictment of Hanson.
Let me get this right, now.
You're saying because Billy hung out
with drag queens, he deserved to die?
- It's fucked up, but, yeah.
- That's fucked up.
Maybe you shouldn't testify.
John, how sweet.
You really care.
Good. Because, guess what?
I'm testifying.
I am testifying.
You see, those folks think
they're using the Doll...
...but the Doll's
using them right back.
I'm going to use that courtroom
as my coming-out party.
You see, you know who I am.
I'm the Lady Chablis.
Hear me roar.
JOHN: Look out!
CHABLIS: Meow.
Besides,
I've already bought a new ensemble.
- Really? Is it nice?
- You'll see, hon.
Listen to me.
We must get out of here.
It's rude of you to bust in on me.
I'd never do that to you.
LaVella's mother
is about to have a seizure.
Somebody put a spoon in her mouth, then,
because I'm not leaving.
You're leaving now.
CHABLIS: I am not.
JOHN: I'll buy you a drink.
CHABLIS: Buy me a drink.
JOHN: Outside of here.
CHABLIS: Buy me a diamond.
JOHN: I'll buy you a diamond.
CHABLIS: Give me some.
JOHN: I'm not giving you shit.
Oh, come on!
You know I'm straight.
So am I.
Straight to my house.
Let's go.
BAILIFF:
Raise your right hand.
Do you swear the evidence you're about
to give is the truth, so help you God?
I do.
SONNY:
Now, Miss De Veau...
...I'll ask you a question and
I want you to answer to the jury...
...so that they can understand.
Yes, and what is that?
You'd like me to explain my "T"?
SONNY:
Your "T"?
CHABLIS:
My "T."
SONNY:
Yeah, explain your "T"...
...in as plain a language
as you possibly can for our friends.
CHABLIS: I will try my best
to explain to you jurors.
CHABLIS: I could throw
words and labels at all of you...
...but you seem like nice people.
So I'm going to be open and honest.
I have a man's toolbox...
...but everything else about me
is pure lady.
I love to dress in women's clothes.
I love to go shopping.
I love to have my nails done...
...and I love men.
Any questions?
And, ma'am,
I hope you don't mind my saying...
...blue is definitely not your color.
SONNY:
Okay, gals, you're both pretty, now.
What I want to know
and want you to tell the jury is...
...how you and Billy Hanson first met.
Billy hit on me one night at the...
Strike that, Your Honor.
CHABLIS:
Billy and I clienteled.
SONNY:
"Clienteled."
Will you explain what that means?
We socialized together for a little
while, until he met my roommate Corinne.
SONNY: Corinne.
Now, you telling me that...
...Corinne and Billy Hanson
were intimate?
Hot and intimate.
Will you tell the jury...
...did Billy Hanson use drugs?
Yes.
Billy did pills, smoked pot...
...little coke.
He sold drugs.
He'd stay with us sometimes, so
sometimes we had stash around the house.
- Mrs. Chablis...
- Miss.
Course, Miss Chablis.
Do you yourself take drugs?
I smoke a little pot.
I'm a mellow kind of girl.
SONNY:
I understand.
Well, tell me
if you know what effect, if any...
...these drugs
had on the relationship...
...between your friend Corinne
and Billy.
Well, now, when Billy got high,
he could be very, very hostile.
SONNY: Hostile.
CHABLIS: Hostile, when he was high.
SONNY: Would you explain to the jury
what you mean by hostile?
CHABLIS: I can do more than that, hon.
Let me show you something.
CHABLIS:
Look at my driver's license.
(JUDGE POUNDS GAVEL)
JUDGE: Just a minute.
This isn't proper.
Be quiet.
JUDGE:
I'll handle this.
Just a minute.
JUDGE:
That's not proper procedure.
Sheriff.
Pick up this item, please.
CHABLIS: My eye. He hit me. I looked
like that dog from The Little Rascals.
Members of the jury, I'm instructing you
to disregard this outburst.
JUDGE:
Pay no attention to that picture.
Your Honor? It's the truth.
I'm not lying.
Your Honor, the people...
Be quiet.
JUDGE: Now we got to
get this thing under control.
You sit down, Mr. De Veau.
Miss De Veau.
I'm a single girl.
Miss De Veau, whatever.
Have a seat.
Okay, but please don't get too huffy.
You listen to me.
I'm in charge of this courtroom,
not you.
Here's the way it works:
These lawyers
are going to ask you questions...
...and you answer them.
If I tell you to stop, you stop.
If I tell you to sit, you sit.
And I don't want you to communicate
directly with that jury.
Don't produce any more items.
Don't show any photographs.
Do you understand that?
Yes, Your Honor.
I understand.
Mrs. Wright threw in some gumbo.
JOHN:
I got you cigarettes.
Thank you. How are we coming
with our character witnesses?
I thought we would limit it to 3 because
we don't need too much fawning and...
Why not?
Tell him how many friends
are lining up to defend me.
I suggest Wanda Javitz.
She has a commanding vocal presence.
She declined, Jim...
...along with some others.
JIM:
Declined?
They clamored for my friendship.
Hoping and praying
for invitations to my parties.
Where were their judgments then?
I hope Wanda knows this puts her
in the out box for my Christmas party.
I don't think we have to worry
about character witnesses.
They got theirs, we got ours.
When do I take the stand?
Last.
Good.
They'll have heard all the theories.
We'll finish with the truth.
I look forward to this.
It's important, not that I'm acquitted,
but that everyone knows I'm innocent.
I refuse to live in a world
where whispers become fact.
Guilty men murmur.
The innocent shout to the rafters.
Hear, hear.
We may need you to come clean
about the relationship with Billy.
Your sexuality, Jim.
Finley's taken this thing in a direction
we didn't count on.
His own private witch-hunt.
It's going to destroy Mother.
Jim, she was in court.
She heard George Tucker.
Face it, she already knows.
Not from me she doesn't.
What if she wasn't in court?
What's the matter?
Gunpowder?
Damn gunshot residue test.
Your expert witness covered it.
He said the tests are unreliable.
Jury thinks that's a cop-out.
Every one of them knows Doc Poe.
Why listen to some egghead
from up north? No offense.
No, none taken.
He said gunpowder wipes off.
Maybe when they handled the body...
Boone says he bagged them.
Doc Poe says they were bagged
when he performed the autopsy.
When are they going to get wiped off?
I don't know.
Do you remember when you told me
that dead men tell no tales?
See, I think...
...that may be true,
but it does not apply here.
I mean, look around.
Every picture on every wall in this town
is of someone who's gone.
Every story you hear begins
with someone who's dead.
The only living national treasure
you have is your own slavering mutt.
You writing your book?
What the hell are you talking about?
Billy Hanson may not be talking,
but his hands are.
Billy Hanson's hands?
I got to go.
Where you going?
"To understand the living...
...you got to commune with the dead.
I need Shango.
Now go.
And don't you dare look back."
I hope you can communicate
with someone.
JOHN:
Mandy, feel like going for a walk?
Where you headed?
I don't know, I was thinking about
maybe stopping by the morgue.
Are you a necrophiliac or something?
We agreed you wouldn't talk
about my ex-wife.
- How long you been at the bar?
JOHN: Long enough. It'll be fun.
MAND Y:
Why do you want to go?
If I could answer that question,
I wouldn't have to go.
The morgue's closed, and by tomorrow
this won't seem like such a good idea.
Precisely. I'll break in if I have to.
I don't care. I'll pretend I'm dead.
- You sure you want to do this?
- I think so.
There is a back way...
...a hallway off the emergency room.
It's off-limits.
- How do you know that?
- I candy-striped one summer.
At the morgue?
- We'll create a distraction...
- We?
You create the distraction
and I'll just slip in and check it out.
No, you'll get lost.
All right, it's a 3-man job.
Where's Joe?
Perfect casting, but he's out of town
till tomorrow.
Who do we know
who can cause a commotion?
(CHABLIS YELLING)
JOHN:
Hello! Nurse!
NURSE: What's wrong with her?
JOHN: Her stomach.
CHABLIS: Appendicitis.
My water broke.
NURSE: Get the doctor to exam 4.
Water broke? She's pregnant.
CHABLIS: I don't know what's up.
Just help.
NURSE 2: What's wrong?
NURSE: A stomach problem.
NURSE 2:
Let's get her up on the table.
Okay, here we are.
Commune away.
Is this where it hurts?
Just...
Oh, doctor, wait.
Here?
You know, I think you need to go
just a little bit lower.
JOHN:
Never been in a morgue.
MAND Y:
What are we looking for?
I don't know. Something about
the bagging of the hands.
Oh, look.
Teddy Lipscomb.
Excuse me?
- You know this guy?
- Yeah, he was my dad's dentist.
Oh, man!
Cardiac arrest.
Right. Medical term for dying in the
arms of a 25-year-old cocktail waitress.
Poor guy.
See, now, remind me
never to get sick in Savannah.
He's wearing a hospital I.D. Bracelet.
You're supposed to get well
in hospitals, but not in this city.
The morgue doesn't have its own ramp,
so all DOA's come through emergency.
Technically, they'd have to be admitted.
They're all wearing bracelets.
It's bureaucratic red tape.
I told you, I candy-striped.
You did.
That's like volunteer work?
Yeah, cute little striped outfit,
short skirt.
Girl Scouts.
- Is this where it hurts?
- Almost.
Just a tad bit...
That's the spot.
I love you.
I love you.
Oh, Dr. Feelgood, that's the spot.
You got it.
You wouldn't take a bag off
to put an I.D. Bracelet on, would you?
Yeah, probably.
Maybe.
CHABLIS:
Pleasure's been all mine, Doctor.
MAND Y:
How you doing, Mom?
JOHN:
Nurse, I have a question for you.
Were you on duty the night
Billy Hanson's body came in?
I was.
How'd you get back there?
Back door.
I was here with the sick lady?
I have a question.
Hanson's hands were bagged.
Someone had to put the I.D. Bracelet on.
Would you take the bag off
to slide the bracelet on?
No, they snap on.
They snap on?
JOHN:
Thank you.
It was easier with him
because I bagged him after.
Excuse me?
Doc Poe called from the crime scene and
said to bag the hands when he came in.
You bagged the hands?
Yes, I wrote it up
on the admission sheet.
JOHN:
May I see that?
We'll let Sonny tell you.
He'll be here any minute.
Before Sonny gets here,
I'd like to run something by you.
JOHN: Fire away.
JIM: About that night.
What do you got?
The evening started out
as I've always said.
JIM:
The argument...
...the shouting...
You let me down, Jim.
Like everyone else.
My mama let me down. She hates me
because I look like my daddy.
JIM: What are you yelling about?
BILLY: I'm yelling about you!
It's fine for you to talk to me
about living in this grandeur and all.
You could do it
if you took responsibility.
Bullshit, Jim!
If you don't like it,
why don't you just get the hell out?!
JIM:
Get the hell out.
This candle is about ready
to go through that painting!
I'll stop paying the insurance
on your Camaro.
JIM: You want to leave,
you can do it tomorrow morning.
JIM:
The damaged clock...
JIM:
Goddamn it.
JIM: Walk into my house
and ruin my furniture. I've had it.
JIM: You're going to jail, young man.
That's it.
JIM:
Billy pointing the Luger...
BILLY:
I may be leaving tomorrow...
...but goddamn it.
JIM: But here's the difference:
When he pulled the trigger...
BILLY:
You're leaving tonight.
JIM:
...nothing happened.
The gun was on safety.
As he fumbled to take the safety off,
I grabbed my own gun...
...and I shot him.
He fell dead.
He never fired?
No.
JIM:
I thought, "What have you done?!"
It explains...
...why there's no powder
on Billy's hands.
When I sit on that stand
and I tell this to the jury...
...Largent's case...
...will crumble.
I don't see how you figure that.
If you tell that story...
...you're admitting...
...that you lied.
Lied to everyone.
The police...
...the press...
...everyone.
Yes.
Of course.
I'd rather be convicted of lying
than of murder.
So...
SONNY:
Hey, coach.
SONNY:
We got it.
Keep your seat.
Sonny, I need to tell you something.
SONNY: Now, me first.
You know that gunshot residue test?
What I have to say has direct bearing
on the gunshot residue...
Can I get this out?
SONNY:
We got them by the gonads.
Detective Boone lied.
Doc Poe called the admitting nurse
and told her to bag the hands...
...if they were not already.
Which she did.
Right here in this document.
Many could have handled the body
between the crime scene and the hospital.
Which explains how the powder
got rubbed off.
There it is.
The death knell to Finley Largent's
precious gunshot residue test.
Your turn.
What was it?
Oh, it's not important.
Take a look here.
We got them, Jimbo.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
SONNY:
Going somewhere, coach?
What's his story?
You're still under oath.
SONNY:
Frank...
...are you absolutely sure...
...that you bagged Billy Hanson's hands
at Mercer House?
Yes.
I have no further questions.
Redirect, Mr. Largent?
No, Your Honor.
Detective, you're excused. You're still
under subpoena. Thank you very much.
Defense calls Sara Warren...
...R.N.
You won't find her in your notes.
She's not on your list, Finley.
Sara Warren is a direct rebuttal
to the testimony of Detective Boone.
She is, in fact, an admitting nurse...
...at Chandler Emergency Room.
SONNY: Mr. Williams, will you describe
your relationship with the deceased?
I met Billy Hanson when he came around
to the house wanting a job.
So...
...I hired him in the workshop
to refinish furniture.
He had some talent,
and I wanted to encourage him.
During this time...
...I developed hypoglycemia. I
blacked-out at times. I don't eat well.
The doctor told me...
...it was not good for me to be alone
when this condition occurs.
So Billy would stay over...
...and take care of me
when I wasn't well.
He did not live at Mercer House,
as has been stated.
Is that the full extent of your
relationship with Billy Hanson?
No. Over time, it evolved
into something less formal.
We became intimate.
Billy could be very charming.
He had his girlfriends and I had mine.
But to me...
...sex is a perfectly natural thing.
It didn't bother me.
It didn't bother him.
It was just an occasional natural
occurrence between consenting adults.
Would you describe to the jury...
...the events
that occurred in your house...
...after the party?
By the time Billy got back to the house
he was quite high...
...and we got into an argument
about a planned trip to London.
I was going to an auction, and Billy was
to accompany me because of my condition.
But he insisted on taking
marijuana cigarettes.
I do not approve of drugs
and I told him he could not go.
He became verbally abusive
and I ordered Billy out of the house.
He went into the hallway.
The argument continued there.
Then he knocked over a clock.
I went to call the police.
He followed me with a gun.
He said...
...and I'll never forget this:
"I might leave tomorrow...
...but goddamn it,
you're leaving tonight."
I saw that Luger...
...and moved.
I reached in a drawer
for my own weapon.
As I came up,
the first shot...
...I felt breeze by my shoulder.
And I fired.
I don't remember how many times.
It was horrible.
SONNY:
We're all Savannahians.
Our paths cross from time to time.
We greet each other.
Smile here, nod there.
But even if we don 't know each other...
...we have one thing in common.
This beautiful place where we all live.
And as one Savannahian...
...to 12...
...I'd like to thank you
for your civic pride...
...for your diligence...
...and here in this courtroom...
...for your rapt attention.
I've watched you taking notes.
The prosecution
started this whole thing...
...quoting someone
by the name of Hobbes.
I don't know who that is...
...but...
...I do know who Perry Mason is.
You watch Perry Mason?
SONNY:
I do.
SONNY:
And I got to thinking...
...if some TV writer...
...was to come to Perry Mason
and say...
..."Here you are, Mr. Raymond Burr,
here's a story like this."
You know what I think he'd say?
I think old Raymond would say...
"That's not a very good story.
I wouldn't have to be
a very good lawyer...
...to get that man off,
now would I?"
SONNY:
He'd be right!
Because...
...by all the evidence,
Jim Williams is an innocent man.
But I'm not Perry Mason.
I'm not some TV lawyer.
So I got to scratch and tear
at the prosecution's case...
...trying to whittle it down to nothing.
And darned if I don't think I have!
Because the fabrication
of the prosecution's case is in pieces.
When you consider
how Detective Boone...
...has consistently lied
about bagging the hands.
Does that surprise you...
...that a detective would lie?
Of course he will.
He's not a bad man.
But how else will he play the cards...
...that have been dealt to him
from a pack of lies?
If Jim Williams...
...is guilty of anything...
...he's guilty of bad association.
But that's not why he's on trial for.
If you don't like...
...or if you don't cotton
to his lifestyle...
...just think about this:
We deal with these people all the time.
Some good...
...some bad.
They're a part of our community.
You can't judge a man for that.
This is God's world.
Let God be the judge of that.
And let you good folks...
...be the judge of this.
Come on, now.
You let this man go home.
He's had enough.
Thank you.
Mr. Foreman,
has the jury reached a verdict?
Yes, we have, Your Honor.
Is it unanimous?
Yes!
Hand it to the sheriff, please.
Pick that up.
Hand it to me.
Give it back to him.
JUDGE: Defendant and attorneys,
rise, please.
Publish the verdict.
"We, the jury,
find the defendant...
...not guilty."
JUDGE: Members of the jury,
this concludes your work.
You've rendered great service
to Savannah and Chatham County.
I'm going to dismiss you now
with the thanks of the court.
(JUDGE POUNDS GAVEL)
Congratulations, Jim.
Thank you, John.
MINERVA:
Hey, boy!
What do you got?
Come on down.
We gots to go visit the boy.
We got to make him
quit working James.
Trial's over, Minerva.
Billy can't do anything to James now.
Why I come to you?
Because you...
...out of everybody,
know it ain't over yet.
I know, the boy know, and you know
justice ain't been done yet.
I'll come down for a minute.
JOHN:
I don't know about this.
MINERVA:
That's exactly why you come this far.
MINERVA:
Billy always loved Wild Turkey.
He ain't happy here.
Ain't what he thought it would be.
If you ain't in heaven yet, you want
to get there, don't you, boy?
The only way you're going to get up...
...is if you quit playing with James.
I has influence with the dead.
They can lift you up.
Nobody else can do that for you.
Nobody!
Don't you laugh at me!
You think you had a harsh life?
You got no idea.
Never had no bills to pay...
...no children to feed,
no house to clean.
You had it easy.
You can just lay there.
JOHN:
Where's Jim?
Thanks for dropping by.
I've finished my Christmas party list...
...and you made the cut.
I'm honored,
but I won't be here.
Many will be disappointed.
So, obviously,
you've decided to stay in town.
Yes.
Living here pisses off
all the right people.
JOHN: What can I do for you?
JIM: I have something for you.
Yussopov's dagger may have seemed...
...more useful,
given your profession...
...but the painting
somehow seemed appropriate.
I hope you will accept it...
...as an expression of my gratitude.
JOHN:
Newmarket Heath, the overpaint.
Thank you.
JIM:
I'll have it sent along.
I don't want to keep you
from your party.
But one more question, for the book.
Do you want to tell me
what really happened?
Sport...
...truth, like art...
...is in the eye of the beholder.
You believe what you choose...
...and I'll believe what I know.
Good luck, Jim.
Why didn't you come in?
I never enter the office on Sunday.
Bad juju.
I still got a lot of questions.
You know all you need to know.
One thing...
...don't commune so long with the dead
you forget the living.
What's this?
I love you, boy.
But I ain't the only one.
You know that, don't you?
How long's your lease?
Six months.
Welcome to Savannah.
You hungry?
- Come on.
- Let's go, girl.
Hi.
You two know you're not going anywhere
without a chaperone.
I cooked my Chablis' famous chicken.
Let's go have a picnic.
CHABLIS:
And guess what, John?
CHABLIS:
You get your choice of breast or thigh.
JOHN:
What's it called, the chicken?
CHABLIS:
Chablis' Kicking Chicken.
Still walking the dog, Mr. Glover?
Yes, sir.
Patrick do like his morning walk.
Patrick is walking kind of fancy
this morning, isn't he?