1
EPIK PICTURES Presents
A MAKING FILM Production
A PANG HO-CHEUNG Film
ISABEL CHAN DADA CHAN
GIGI LEUNG JUNE LAM
CHUI TIEN YOU HANJIN TAN
LAM SUET YANKI DIN
PATRICK TSE JO KOO
MIRIAM YEUNG ISABELLA LEONG
MATT CHOW AO IEONG CHONG HOU
SUSAN SHAW DEREK TSANG
ASHINA KWOK CARMEN TONG
Stop! Kid?
Did you know you
must pay to get in?
Pay for what?
You had fun on the monkey bars
and roundabout.
No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.
- Did not!
Where are you from?
Me? La Salle.
La Salle?
You're from La Salle? Me too.
Give me $36.60.
Each.
That's $108.60.
You hear me?
It should be $109.80.
- He is right.
- What the Hell?
Didn't you finish grade school?
- Give it back!
- Cough up $100 each
and we're squared away.
- Give it back!
- Hey! What are you doing?
Nothing Just chatting
and showing our concern
for the neighborhood.
Can't we do that, Sir?
What are you up to now, Ho?
What else, Madam?
Just shooting the breeze! Right?
What did he say to you?
Nothing... we were just chatting.
See?
Don't let me see you again.
- Make yourself scarce!
- Okay.
Anything you Say, Madam!
Come on. We're going, going...
gone!!
No problem!
Get off.
Go home!
Why didn't you
follow your partners?
Sorry, Madam!
I didn't know what happened.
Of course you didn't.
It won't kill you to stop texting
your boyfriend for a minute.
Always back up your fellow officers
no matter what.
Didn't they teach
you at the academy?
You're a team.
Bitch!
Can we have a word?
Go ahead, I'll catch up.
You have a lot of nerve showing up!
For the last time,
I only started going out with Andy
after you guys broke up
- I didn't steal him.
- Cut the crap!
I don't want to talk about it.
He shagged you a long time ago.
What will it take for
you to believe me?
Don't play innocent with me!
Don't tell me
he never went to your place
before the Christmas hotpot!
Cat got your tongue?
I'll answer that for you.
He was at your place
before we came up.
No! Don't be so fucking suspicious.
That's absolutely not true.
When did you see us together?
I didn't have to.
There's a log.
Sweetie, can I borrow your phone?
I need to book plane tickets Hurry!
Thank you.
Lay off the shrimp chips.
Go give them a hand. Hurry!
Hey, Bitch!
I forgot your Wi-Fi login.
Fuck you like a friend.
Same for the password.
Need any help?
Cut up the carrots.
They're for the broth
okay... Gweilo size? Or Japanese?
How about Indian?
"Connected."
Where does this one go?
- Forget it I don't need your help.
- But I want to.
First help me put this on.
Put that on your head.
Your hands are loaded, right?
- I'll get that for you.
- Give me a hand.
Wow, it suits you.
And this one too.
When can we eat? I'm starving
- I'll marinate for you.
- Forget it. Go away!
- Your shrimp chips.
- Hey, don't mess up the carrots.
Later.
He'll eat it.
Sit down...
- Hit it once.
- I'll do the same.
We never went to your place
after we started going out.
If he never ate your shrimp chips,
how does he know your Wi-Fi login?
I swear to God
I don't know.
There was nothing between us then.
After you broke up,
my computer crashed
I needed someone to fix it.
He was still upset about
breaking up with you.
Then we started talking...
Right...
You think I'd buy that crap?
He screwed more
than nuts and bolts.
Never mind
I caught him.
Caught what!
How can I convince you?
Nothing!
I'm over it.
You two don't concern me.
But June is in trouble.
If you won't help her,
she's a goner before dark.
What's the matter with her?
You wanted to see me, Mrs. Cha?
Don't call me Mrs.
Cha in the office
Michael on the next
team is already saying
since I gave birth,
I spend more time with the baby
than with the clients.
I'm Luna Fu around the office.
Don't give anyone any excuses.
Yes, Luna.
Is he badmouthing me
about Postpartum Depression?
Some people are saying...
WTF!
I wouldn't have waited
this long to be depressed!
Who hired that
scatter brain outside?
You mean Irene?
HR sent her file over
before your maternity leave.
You said okay.
Still! Has she been interviewed?
How would I know?
Tell me...
What the hell is this?
When I gave her the CD-ROM,
I did tell her
to copy the data onto the CD-ROM.
But I didn't expect she'd
make a copy of the damn thing.
She's a real winner!
Aliens would want to study her.
She's best at showing off her tits.
Other than coming on to men,
what else can she do?
When Mr. Cheung is here later,
don't let her get near him.
Look after him yourself.
Right!
If anything goes wrong
and Mr. Cheung is displeased,
Michael must try to steal
this account from us.
You!!
You better be on your toes!
Right!
Luna, if that's all,
I'll be at my desk.
Sorry!
I was in a meeting. What is it?
Mrs. Lam,
we're calling from Yau Tung Bank.
We would like to inform you that.
You're 3 payments
behind on your mortgage
I'm sorry.
We made payments from
my husband's account.
But he just started a new job...
I know...
I'm trying to set up direct
debit from my account.
But that may take a while
I see.
If we still don't receive
payment by month end,
the bank will pass your file
to a collection agency.
And just for your information,
according to your
agreement with the bank...
I'm a lightweight.
Separately, we want to know
would you be interested
in our premier accounts?
No, thanks.
You better watch it.
Mr. Cheung is a real pain.
They said in a meeting elsewhere,
a girl served him tea
and he saw fingerprints on the cup.
He almost bit her head off.
You better be careful.
They're laying people off.
You might be next if you screw up
Fred on the next team got canned.
If you're next,
you may get a discount if you chip
in to buy cake for your farewell.
Don't scare her!
It's the truth!
It's true.
How long will this take?
I'm on the beat.
Hold your horses.
Then...
Hello, Mr. Cheung!
Luna?
They said you're on maternity
leave, busy babysitting.
Don't believe in idle gossip.
The baby needs to eat
even if I don't, right?
I must come back to work.
Let's talk.
Have a seat.
Want something to drink?
Flat white with low fat milk.
You have superb taste!
I'm getting old.
More milk and less caffeine.
You want one?
No thanks. Can't drink coffee yet
after I had the baby.
Only because of you
I was supposed to
play golf with Keith
I pushed back the game.
What do you have for me?
Let's get started.
Mr. Cheung!
Sorry, I'm late Michael?
The MTR broke down again. Sorry!
What are you doing in here?
The Boss said you're
busy having the baby
I'm in charge of the presentation.
But it's my project.
Take it up with the Boss then.
Don't waste Mr. Cheung's time.
He's playing golf with Keith.
Get to work.
Sorry!
Mr. Cheung,
most families in Hong
Kong have two choices:
Rent a cheap partitioned flat
or an expensive partitioned flat.
What if the kids want a pet?
There's no room.
You're not suggesting I chip in
for reclamation?
Are you kidding?
And throw away your money?
No way!
I found a place in New Zealand.
What does New Zealand have?
Sheep and land
June,
let me help you with the coffee.
No, I can manage.
Where can I find low fat milk?
In the fridge.
New Zealand has land and sheep.
But kids in Hong Kong
have no room for pets.
This business
combines the two ideas.
Buy a sheep from this company,
and you get to name it.
A camera will keep
track of this sheep
and kids can watch it
grow, eat grass and shit.
The point is kids only play with it
and won't have to clean up after it.
Who does?
They usually eat their own.
Do you see this
company's potential?
Just imagine every kid in Hong Kong
has a sheep in his or her phone.
Just like the frenzy
over Tamagotchi back then.
How funny!
When they shear the
sheep's wool in winter,
they can make a
sweater for the kid.
We can also ask the kid to join
study tours for then to visit.
- Your coffee, Mr. Cheung.
- And milk their sheep.
Sky is the limit for such profits.
What do you think, Mr. Cheung?
My grandson
wants a pet turtle today
and wants a snake tomorrow.
You propose a virtual pet?
Right!
They may last a quarter at best
and the kids will soon forget.
They'll stop payments.
Beauty at a blink.
This is not a long term business
Luna, what do you think?
Exactly!
Tamagotchi...
Who the hell remembers
Tamagotchi now?
Let's get to work.
We wouldn't dare make this pitch
without this part.
We knew kids are fickle.
As soon as they're
behind on a payment,
we'll send pictures
to their cell phones.
A steaming hot lamb stew.
Look! How delicious! So juicy.
So hot!
In gif format, no less.
Your lovely, cuddly pet
is served in a clay pot for dinner.
The kids would be devastated
and urge their parents
to pay up at once.
We can then jack up the price.
What a sick mind!
You bet
I found that out after
I became a mother.
A child's feeling
is most important.
If they're not happy,
the whole family has to pay.
You're so meticulous! I like that.
Even this coffee tastes different.
What's the name of the company?
The owner is a huge
fan of Steve Jobs.
We're calling it...
Sheep Job.
Very well. I'll put my
money into this company
Luna, I want you to follow up.
She's so attentive.
This is good.
Did you make this?
Yes, Mr. Cheung
June is very bright.
You have a paper cup?
Sure! I'll get one for you
okay! I'm off to play golf
Luna, I'll see myself out.
You should get more
rest after giving birth
I'll do that after I
draft up the contract.
Have a nice game.
Alright.
- Go get the elevator.
- Right...
Mr. Cheung, your coffee.
Oh yes! Thanks. Bye!
We did it.
Yes!
That should shut those bastards up.
That's right!
He likes you.
By the way,
remind me to get
the milk for my son.
What milk?
My breast milk
I pumped it before the meeting
I only have milk in the morning
I need that to feed my son tonight.
Where did you put it?
In the fridge in the pantry
I wrote my name on it.
Make sure I don't forget.
Where can I find low fat milk?
In the fridge
I'm Luna Fu around the office
Luna Fu?
Fuck!
"Bitch! Help!"
Her husband is unemployed.
She's making mortgage
payments by herself.
If the client knew
what was in his coffee,
she's likely to lose the deal
and even if she didn't,
her boss is a lunatic and
will fire her just the same.
That's why she called me.
We must do everything possible
to get her a bottle of breast milk
before 6 p.m.
Why come to me?
You think I have it?
Wait... come to think of it,
if you didn't steal my boyfriend,
Andy and I could have been married
and I could have been
breast feeding my child.
Will you stop bringing that up?
She really needs our help.
Where can I find a
bottle of breast milk?
You're a cop.
You know people from
both sides of the law.
You'll find a way.
The people I know
won't have a bottle of milk.
I can't talk to you
I must get back to my team.
Hey!
What's between us
should stay that way.
She saved your ass.
You want to see her fry?
When did she save me?
In the elevator.
That time you ran into
your Prince Charming.
What?
Are you alright?
Maybe the raw oysters
I ate don't like me.
Your Prince Charming!
Really?
Hey.
Sweetie! We meet again.
Yay.
Hang in there.
What's that stench?
Sorry, it's me...
Must be something I ate...
Take care!
It's okay!
- Sorry...
- Are you okay?
I'm okay!
Just need to go home and wee wee.
You call that saving my ass?
I can still smell that stench now.
We agreed the Bitches are
"one for all and all for one".
You'll let her sink and swim
on her own because of us?
Who else did you contact?
You're the first.
What about Rosalin Boobs?
She didn't pick up.
Maybe she blocked my calls.
You still follow that tramp's IG?
She's signing autographs
over there. Go find her.
Having big boobs doesn't
mean she has milk.
She can help.
I have to get back to my beat.
Hey! I really don't know
why he had my Wi-Fi login.
Rosalin, they say when you have
a new book coming out,
you often use your looks and body
to attract male readers.
What do you think?
I have repeatedly
told the publisher
not to use my picture
on the front cover.
You know we're on a small budget.
They said they can't
afford a designer,
so they recycled my picture.
What about your outfit?
We also have a small
budget for my wardrobe.
Sometimes I can barely
pay for the fabric.
My readers are
from different demographic groups.
The ratio of men
and women is 50/50.
What kind of story
is your new book.
"To Love or to Shag Someone"?
Can you share that
with your half and half fans?
Of course!
"To Love or to Shag Someone"
covers different stages of love.
When we meet someone we like
when we were young,
we'd secretly "love" someone.
When you become sexually indulgent
as a grown up,
and you meet a suitable sex partner
you'd love to shag them.
But when the dust settles,
you'd want
a longer commitment.
Or even after you broke up,
you'd miss your ex.
That's when you love "the last one"
I believe your fans
are quite curious
about your current love life.
Right now, I'm at peace.
The someone I love
is me and me only.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Rosalin Lin, a true hipster writer.
Let's see what your
fans want to ask you.
Anyone?
It's a lady. What would you
like to ask Rosalin?
I have a question for
the hipster writer.
You really enjoy by yourself?
Or because you wrote
about your friends in your books,
you pissed them off
and they cut you off,
and now you're all
by your lonesome?
Writing about your friends
is a way to promote
environmental protection.
Like restaurants
using local produce.
Not every part of this
book is about my friends.
For example the part about a ghost
who fell in love with
a guy and possessed him.
That's a way of loving someone.
That couldn't possibly be
about my friends, right?
Go live!
I will!
June really needs your help
I want to help June too.
But if you expect me
to talk to that bitch,
not in your life!
Do it yourself.
Rosalin!
Yes?
I love watching you go live.
Me and my Mom really love you.
You're the best!
Can I take a picture with you?
Of course!
I want you in that pose
okay!
Auntie, can you...
Thank you.
Thank you.
Don't forget to watch me go live
I won't.
Bye!
Bye!
There's no fucking way
I'm going to that bitch!
Impossible.
Yes?
Can we have your autograph?
Sure!
How many do you have?
This is my third.
Spoke to Rosalin.
She refused to talk to Minibus.
Figures!
Leave Minibus to me.
Go find Boris and Frank.
Fine.
Let's go this way.
Yes, madam!
Hey!
You used to get along with Minibus.
You were gonna sign with Emperor.
What happened?
Don't ask me.
That bitch won't get off my case.
You knew that.
Right... she has a gutter mouth...
Her criticisms were
always personal.
Remember hotpot last
Christmas at your place?
Cuttlefish balls are really chewy.
Try one.
Not as bouncy as her boobs.
They're always on the front cover.
Those geeks rushed over
to the Book Fair to buy a copy,
thinking they were
buying a photo album,
only to find out it
was full of words.
Typos and misspelled words no less.
An illiterate writing books.
How could I forget? I was there.
But that time was self-defense.
You picked the fight.
I did?
I want a raw egg.
You want an egg?
Hi!
Hello! Welcome
I thought you're bringing seafood.
Where's the seafood?
I was in a hurry, I forgot.
The driver had to wait
till the minibus is full.
Sorry. I'm late I'm sorry.
How appropriate...
Minibus riding a minibus.
What Minibus?
You didn't know?
Haven't your heard?
Her new name on the
internet is "Minibus".
Why?
Because she's strutting
down the streets in a miniskirt,
like a minibus
waiting for people to hop on.
Cuttlefish balls are really good.
Try one
I was just repeating
what people said.
I was okay with you guys
calling me Rosalin Boobs.
It's not my fault the netizens
gave her a nickname.
The bitch
and I were in a band
she always used me as her
background when we go live.
"Why leave when you're in love,
but it's stupid to stay."
"Why bear the pain of love?"
"if I say let go,
don't hold my hand."
"Set me free."
"Memory is sufficient."
You know what that bitch did?
She purposely found a sponsor,
who gave us nothing but turtlenecks
and forced me to wear them.
Hell, use pads if
you're flat like a board.
Why force me to wear turtlenecks?
Is she a bitch or what?
Alright...
She scowls at us.
But bats her eyes
at the big bosses.
She treats them like a human ATM
and tells them...
"you're awesome!"
She bribes people
to give her likes.
She's so full of chicken shit.
She thinks anyone who's
prettier has had plastic surgery.
She had it but didn't
help her career at all.
So sad!
Hey!
The whole town knows
you hate her guts.
What brings you here, bitch?
What are you doing?
Are you blind?
This is a BDSM class.
Hold on...
loop the rope around in the back,
do a cross knot, yes...
When it's even on both sides,
loop it back... yes!
Hey, you must do
better than the pupils.
You're here by yourself?
Not exactly...
The nerve of you to show up!
Planning to put me
in your book again?
Get off her case.
You're not the only one.
She wrote about us all
I'm sorry.
A leopard can't change its spots.
That's your excuse?
Let's not talk about that now.
We have a bigger problem.
Like what?
Fuck!
Oh my god!
What can we do?
That's why May sent me here.
Let's see how we can help June.
But I'm in the middle of a class.
Your friend is in trouble.
That's more important.
S&M can wait.
Exactly! We can practice drip wax.
Untie me so we can get going.
Damn! It's a dead knot!
Are you shitting me?
Get me a pair of scissors.
Hey, be careful!
They're on their way.
I just spoke to them.
Forget it. I'm not going in.
Hey!
Do this for me, okay?
Listen,
if she calls me Minibus
again, I'm leaving
okay...
The bitch...
Because she's still
getting likes on IG,
that bitch badmouthed
me in her songs.
It's bad taste to fight
with a bitch like her.
You think so too?
IG is for illiterates.
FB is for cultured folks.
Yo! Right on!
They should be here by now.
Because she has over
200K followers on FB,
she goes live and picks on me.
Just ignore her.
Who uses FB these days?
You have more followers on IG.
You think IG is more important?
Of course!
FB is for fossils. Let's go.
- Hey!
- You came...
Sit down...
- Let's put the tables together.
- Okay.
Hey... making yourselves at home?
Leave my tables alone.
Having a party?
How many of you?
Eight!
No, just seven.
What? Eva can't make it?
She's teaching.
Teaching is good.
Teach the kids when they're young.
Or they'll have no
manners like you,
moving things around
without asking.
Where should we sit?
I'm working on it.
Take the booths.
Four over here, three over there.
Or three over here,
four over there.
Suit yourselves.
Better get a booth.
Looks like you'll be here long.
How fitting!
Minibus riding a minibus.
You're not helping me with that?
Get it yourself.
Who asked you to come early?
You ordered a drink
and sat for 2 hours.
Why should I help you?
Are you sick? I'm busy.
- Sicko...
- What happen?
- Exactly!
- The nerve of you.
Put that over there.
- Invite him to play S&M next time.
- Go ahead.
I don't like finger taste.
What time will your Boss leave?
Usually around 6.
But after she had the baby,
not sure if she'll
leave early to feed him.
Let's play it safe.
We must find the
milk before 5 o'clock.
That's easier said than done. How?
I heard people who are into SM,
are quite hooked on role play.
They're willing to pay for
breast milk so they can play baby.
You know anyone?
My clients don't do breast milk.
Let's go online and
search for breast milk.
Search for private milk!
Private milk.
Did you check Taobao?
Even Taobao can't make it.
Hey, Genius,
it's breast milk, not beast milk.
Just ask if you can't spell.
Listen,
just because we're on your turf,
doesn't mean minibus is king.
See? You heard her!
- I'm sure she didn't mean it.
- Sit down!
You're not the reason
we're here today.
Settle your differences
somewhere else.
May hates me but
she's willing to help.
If June were not in trouble,
when was the last time
we sat in the same room?
And you!
You always go to June for help.
Did she ever say no?
She's in deep shit today.
Don't we owe it to
her to help her out?
Stop your petty bickering!
Exactly!
June is up shit creek today.
Remember your dog got sick
when you were out of town?
Who took the dog to the vet?
And you! Who was your guarantor,
when you needed a bank loan?
And you!
Remember when your
Dad visited you...
and you needed someone
to be your chick.
Who dropped everything at work,
and took him to Lau
Fau Shan for seafood?
And you didn't even show up!
Sorry, Madam!
Today, June is in trouble.
We must help her no matter what.
I'm really grateful, you guys!
Time is running out.
Where can we find the milk?
Hey, I'm sorry!
Is it really good?
That's what I heard.
Really? Let me see...
I'll try this.
Waiter! Take order.
Coming!
Pineapple butter,
iced lemon tea, little sugar...
Fuck! Are you local?
Speak English.
Pineapple butter...
Iced lemon tea...
Little sugar...
Speak English!
I... I am talking English... now.
God help me!
Speak English!
Set A, B, C or D?
Which set?
Set B.
Set B, Right?
Took you long enough.
You two are just browsing?
Order now.
Set A.
And you?
Set C.
Set C, Right?
As simple as ABC.
Don't drink that! It's for rinsing.
Sets A, B and C.
Let's pan him online.
What did you say?
I said...
I'll recommend you online.
Good!
Send someone who can speak English
okay...
ABC... I'll give you a hand.
Who recommended this place?
It's a shelter.
Openrice.
Openrice? I'll pan it on Openrice.
This fat guy is a cocky SOB.
No...
he's right.
Don't make it so complicated.
The 8 of us should
be like this menu.
We split up.
Set A, you two go find
Eva at the kindergarten.
You might find a
sucking child out there.
Set B, the three of you
check online for
private milk for sale.
What about me?
Set C, go back to the office
and stall your Boss.
What about you?
Set D,
I get back on my beat.
Call me if you need me.
Let's go!
What's wrong?
That bitch is such a jinx
I get sick every time I see her.
Even if I spot her picture online,
I'd get sick for 2 days.
You must be sworn enemies
from a previous life.
It's just up ahead. Hurry up.
Class,
I have a question for you.
Watch the blackboard,
we have 7 kids,
but only 3 apples
and a knife.
How can we cut 4 times
and share the apples evenly?
Can you answer me?
Give them the whole apple.
The whole apple?
Why are you here?
Can we have a word outside?
I'm in the middle of a class.
This won't take long.
Get out! We're in a class.
Get out...
Followed?
Cut them up?
What did you say?
Make 4 cuts?
Make 4 cuts? That should do it.
Hey!
Come out first. It's urgent.
What's wrong?
Stomach ache.
Keep talking.
Where's the toilet?
Turn right up ahead, one floor down
I'll find it.
What's the matter with her?
She has to take a dump.
Come over here.
What kind of shithole is this?
I found this place online.
They sell breast milk to men.
You know how much
men want to try it.
That's sick!
Sick?
Japanese eat young girl's shit.
Handroll or Sashimi?
With or without wasabi?
Over here!
What? This is a clothing store.
It's my cover, Missy!
Are you Keung?
Szeto Nai-keung to those
who don't know me. Move!
Is this a sting operation?
No. We want to role play as
parents bottle feeding breast milk
I play the Mom.
You?
I'm the Dad.
Oh!
I'm the baby
I want milk.
You're so cute.
There's actually a
market for breast milk?
We call it private milk.
Go away!
Are you shitting me?
What are you doing in here?
You're in the men's room.
Anything is possible in this world.
That's what we called
the law of supply and demand
It was $1,200 on the website
I'm hard on cash
and things are tense.
You want it or not?
$1,800?
Hold on... this is a fake!
Says who?
All my clients come back for more.
Szeto Nai-keung is
not your real name.
You're Taobao Keung, right?
Taobao Keung? You know him?
You used to sell on Taobao?
He looked familiar
when I walked in.
He had a shop across
the street from mine,
selling fragrant underwear
worn by schoolgirls.
But 9 out of 10 were fakes.
That's why we call
him Taobao Keung.
People get ringworms
from wearing what he sold.
Those were not underwear
from schoolgirls.
He wore them himself.
Some even had ringworms
on their tongues.
Hey! I told them to smell,
but they chose to lick.
It's not my fault
they didn't listen.
Let's go. It's fake milk
I don't care what you say about me.
But... the milk is genuine.
Really? Why don't you try it?
Alright... you win. It's fake
I added a little condensed milk
to ordinary milk.
If you can,
perfect anything you
do, it becomes art.
Look the other way.
Don't look at me.
Can you fetch me some toilet
paper, kid?
More, please.
A little bit more?
But it's not Eco-friendly.
Just this time.
Can you get me one as tall as you?
Thank you.
Kid!
Come here, kid!
It's not flushing?
Ours are usually not so big.
What can we do?
Why don't we try to chop it
ls there a column-like object?
Nobody can tell after we clean up.
This is for you.
Nobody can tell after we clean up.
Supply is really tight lately.
We have no supply
from the milk head.
Milk head?
The source.
What were you thinking?
Why don't you tell us
where you got your goods?
What can I say?
Alright... A doula stole it.
Give me the contact.
We need a bottle today.
Why?
Or we'll charge you for access
to milk head with criminal intent.
Here, take it. But I don't know
if she has anything to sell.
I make no guarantees.
- Don't take it with you!
- Let's go.
Give it back...
This voice doesn't work?
Oh my God!
That's why we're here.
Why me? I don't have any.
Hey, this is a kindergarten.
There must be a
sucking child around.
Someone might have a
bottle of breast milk.
Not in my class.
Maybe they have one next door.
Who?
Fai.
He might have it. Ask him.
But he's a bit weird.
Let's go.
Fai-fai,
did you bring your milk bottle?
Really?
She wants to try breast milk.
Can you let her try?
I never had it when I was a kid.
Now I would love to try it.
Can you help me find
a bottle of milk?
What will you trade me?
Don't be so skimpy.
What do you want, kid?
I want to hold the ball.
Are you shitting me?
Think of the big picture.
How old is he? This is outrageous!
I have nothing to do with this
I only work here.
I'll pretend I didn't hear it.
Make your own deal.
Precisely because he's a kid.
We should play fair.
His hand is so tiny
he can't grope you.
It'll be like a mosquito bite.
You're capable of saying anything.
Do this for June.
We have a deal.
Just once.
Come on! I'm ready.
Go ahead.
Don't be scared.
I want...
Ball! I want that ball.
Don't look at me.
You thought so too
I'll take care of this.
Give me the ball.
See how hard she's trying?
- Give me the ball.
- No.
You like this ball?
Fai, catch!
Bravo! You held the ball!
Where's the milk?
I don't have any.
Fai doesn't have any.
My Mom and his Mom are friends.
His Mom makes his milk from powder.
If you want breast milk, ask me.
And what do you want?
$500? What for? How old are you?
I'm saving money to buy a flat.
Now?
At your age?
Do you own a flat?
See? That's because you didn't
save up when you were little.
Do you have $500?
Are you sure?
Look, if I was willing to let that
kid grab my boobs
I'll give this one $500.
It's for June.
Here...$500.
Where's the milk?
Wait here same time tomorrow.
Tomorrow is too late.
Even Taobao doesn't
do same day delivery.
Give me back my $500.
Hey!
Where to?
Pentland Apartments in Sai Kung
okay!
Fasten your seat belts.
You're so attentive.
Wow, you're big.
You train?
Sometimes.
What's wrong with you two?
One in the front,
the other in the back.
He's in heat.
He scrambles up front.
You think he's training up
to be a construction worker?
Nothing...
I was worried you have forgotten
how to take me from behind.
That's why I took the front seat
so you can see my back
I can't see unless you
pull off your pants now
okay...
my bad for shooting off my mouth.
Forget what I said.
Driver, turn on the radio.
Sure!
I'll help you.
Can we go to the parenting website,
and ask those Moms
for a bottle of milk?
I heard breastfeeding Moms
like to share with Moms
who don't have enough milk.
Where can we find a kid?
They don't know us. Without a kid,
why would anyone give you a bottle?
Stop banning my ideas.
You have a better one?
Think about it
I have a live show at 3:15.
My fans are waiting.
We don't have to try so hard.
You have tons of fans.
Go live and get them to help us.
But they don't have milk.
The kid this morning
gave me an idea.
We'll swap milk for milk.
Within the next 2 hours,
whoever can get us a bottle,
can squeeze your boobs once.
There must be a
die-hard geek out there,
who would steal from his sister
or mother. Let them think of a way.
I don't think so
because my fans
love my writing, not my body.
Hello, everyone!
Rosalin needs
a bottle of breast milk in 2 hours.
If anyone out there
can help me find one,
I'll let you
touch my boobs.
Gently, of course.
If you have it, text me.
Now I know they like
my boobs after all.
You're the only one
who didn't know.
It's a blessing to
be fantasized by all
so many.
You just broke a new record.
You saved the day for June!
We swap a bottle for a squeeze.
We need human breast milk.
To be precise, it's Vitasoy
brought by a human being.
You should be a standup comedian.
Out!
...Breast milk!
It stinks. Don't tell me
that's human breast milk.
Drink that...
...and you'll have a baby
and you'll have milk.
Thanks a lot. Save it for your Mom.
Hey!
Hi, I have no milk of any kind
I'm just passing by,
thought I'd give it a shot.
We can shake on it or squeeze
your boobs and be friends.
That applies to you too Come on!
Hey...
All of you here to
buy a bottle of milk?
No, do you have it?
Yes! Fork over the money. $2,000
$2,000?
That's not the price online, lady.
We're short on supply.
I'm risking my life.
If I get caught, I'll lose my job.
Take it or leave it.
Why didn't you give it to Keung?
The goods are hard to steal.
Here...
The mother is sleeping upstairs
I sent the chauffeur and
the maid to the market.
You have 30 minutes.
There are plenty of cameras around.
Make sure you wear a mask.
If you got caught,
you'll get me in trouble.
Hey, aren't we buying from you?
Why do we have to steal it?
I told you I'm risking
my life for this.
If it was that easy,
I'd do it myself
I won't need you, right?
Yes or no?
You have 30 minutes. Be careful!
I'm here to buy milk
I didn't sign up for burglary.
Where can we find a mask?
I had... met a guy.
He's a fireman in Sai Kung.
So?
You are...
Call me Ho.
I don't know why either.
You needed a bottle and...
I got you one.
I don't want anything in return
I don't want these assholes
to insult or profane you.
You don't deserve that.
Your voice sounds familiar.
Have we met?
I don't know.
There's only one girl for me.
Haruki Murakami is right about
meeting that perfect girl
I just met mine.
I don't want anything.
Because...
The river understands
its responsibility to the flower.
Its duty is to escort the flower.
If the journey is a happy one,
life has no regret.
Water drops evaporate
to become clouds in the sky.
Petals flow downstream
and take root in the soil.
My destiny is sealed.
You're wet... I mean your eyes.
Tell May we found a bottle.
Go ahead, I'll let you get wet.
Some guy got us a bottle.
Somehow he looks awfully familiar
I just sent you his picture.
You know him?
Ho?
He's a punk
I just questioned him this morning.
Better have someone
double check the bottle.
Thanks a lot. Bye!
How is it?
So high?
My ass...
Watch out...
I really don't want
to play with her.
She's always discarding
the wrong tile.
It's no fun.
It's difficult to play with her.
Just like yesterday, it was
obvious one player had a pure hand.
How can she discard 7 Bamboos?
It's difficult to play with her.
"Try to lure her away."
"Me?"
"Distract her any way you can."
"How can I do it?"
But we must quit before
my husband comes home.
Of course.
"Hurry up!"
okay... tomorrow at 1.
Hey, wait!
There's a Smurf outside my door.
What are you doing?
My name is Anyone
I'm from the Fire
Services Department
I'm here to promote
the message anyone can save a life.
Let me show you a song.
"Left hand, right hand,
keep them straight on your chest."
"5 cm deep..."
"Press twice per second..."
Alright... get lost!
Go find someone else
5 cm is crucial.
Because everyone's
sternum is different.
When you press down,
the feeling is
different for everyone.
Shall I do another demonstration?
Since when did firemen
become lechers?
Don't pick on firemen.
Anyone can be a lecher.
Get lost. Do your gig next door.
Please give me another chance.
They like this sort of thing.
Go next door.
WTF! Why did you shut the door?
- We should pick up after ourselves.
- Why?
I ran into it!
Fuck! Soy milk!
Where's the accessible toilet?
Outside, turn left.
No. Let's go to your place.
Open up!
After the gentlest resonance.
Call me.
I better run.
There's really no
cure for stupidity.
He's different.
Other people just
want to grab my boobs.
He's serious about me.
Seriously, it's soy milk.
How did you know?
He's genuinely serious about me.
Of course he is.
He headed straight for
the accessible toilet
I'm saying it's a
bottle of soy milk.
What?
Why did you hand it to me?
You should say something.
Don't reach out your hand
if you didn't know better.
Your hands are weak
from jerking off.
There's really no
need to bring that up.
Which one of your
eyes saw me do that?
Eye A, B and C.
- Eye C? When?
- See all.
Don't bother to deny it.
- When?
- Don't quarrel.
Last time we went to Phuket.
You can't fool me.
We hadn't had a nice
fuck for so long.
I thought we could
do that in Phuket.
But you'd rather jerk
off than touch me.
Show me your wallet.
Let's see whose picture
you're jerking off at.
Don't do this.
Please don't go!
Please don't go!
Don't do this. Please don't go!
Why?
You were looking at my picture.
Why didn't you tell me?
I've had enough of you!
Why did you train so hard?
I like you better
when you were pudgy.
You were the No. 1 cuddly bear.
Look at those abs.
You're now the Incredible Hulk.
I jerk off thinking
about the chubby you.
Tell me... you train so hard...
because you found someone else?
I had a body check last year.
The doctor said I have
fatty liver disease,
hyperglycemia,
hyperlipidemia and hypertension.
If I don't lose weight,
it's a good chance. I will die.
You know?
Fucking die, man.
What do you want me to do?
If something happens to me,
who's gonna take care of you?
This is Hong Kong, darling.
We can't get married.
I have to lose weight,
you think I like to
go to the fucking gym?
And beat myself up?
And eat that fucking tasteless
steamed white chicken?
Braised pork belly
was my favorite fucking dish!
Why didn't you tell me?
You didn't tell me
you like me fat either.
What's the use of telling you
about my poor health?
You can't help me.
We're a couple.
I don't want you to worry.
Sorry...
Sorry!
"Its great everything
is out in the open."
"Hold that thought.
Don't get horny."
"We still don't have
the bottle of milk."
"Save your roll in
the sack for tonight."
"Where can we get a
bottle of breast milk?"
"Where? Give me milk!
Give me milk!"
"Don't listen to me sing.
Go find the milk. Go!"
Let's get back to business.
On my way out,
I saw a breastfeeding
room in the mall.
That's where we can
find breast milk.
Let's steal a bottle from there.
Let's call them.
"Go!
'Let's go!
Fuck! Everything is fake.
Just like your book.
You love someone,
he loves to shag someone
Boris called.
He has a plan.
Let's go find him.
Can you keep this to yourself?
Fix your hair.
That's a dead giveaway.
Well?
We had this all figured out.
We'll pose as members of
the Rainbow Breast Milk Club,
soliciting breast milk
for gay couples to feed
their adopted child.
"No" Milk Club?
Only people have no milk like you
could come up with that.
It's "mo" as in "mother".
Not "mo" as in "no", genius!
I'm sure it's the same word to you.
Only an illiterate like you
would come up with that.
Stop it!
Where is it? Hurry up!
"Donate your drop of
love Quell the hunger."
"Rainbow Breast Milk Club."
"Your love is breast
milk Breast milk is love."
Hurry up!
More to the center.
You set up a booth already?
Of course!
When a friend is in need,
I'd chip in money and/or my ex
I have 2 exes in production
I should go Bye!
Bye!
Call me, darling.
Sure!
He has enough exes to
make the next "X-Men".
You are so naughty.
Don't be sarcastic.
Hey... told you to
save that for tonight.
Sorry, I can't help it.
There are plenty of
breastfeeding rooms in this mall.
Let's find someone
to donate a bottle.
We have such team spirit.
Yes!
The hole is too small.
I can get it in, darling.
Thanks!
Yes, I'm in.
Done!
Give out the flyers... Go...
The bottle is pink.
Can you help us out?
Hi, please take one. Take a flyer.
We're from the Rainbow
Breast Milk Club.
We're a non-profit
charity organization.
Our nipples produce no milk.
But we have kids too.
Some kids never get
to taste breast milk.
They need our care and concern.
Well, Life is like a rainbow,
breast milk is running low.
A drop of life.
Do you have breast milk?
Please take one.
Read this.
You should have plenty of milk.
Sorry, I don't breastfeed
I'll check with a friend.
Thank you.
Do you have milk?
Nothing Time is running out.
Nothing.
Sorry...
Excuse me. Are you the Pink Lin?
Pink Ladies!
Right... sorry! Pink Ladies, right?
It's them. They're the Pink Ladies!
Long time no see!
We used to listen to
you sing all the time.
We are huge fans!
Why are you giving out flyers?
Miss, the Pink Ladies
are the spokespersons
for the Rainbow Breast Milk Club.
They're actually lesbians...
Oh...
I didn't expect to see them here.
I'm so excited. I haven't
heard you sing for so long.
Why don't you sing
together anymore?
She was sleeping around
and I dumped her.
You're back together now?
She begged me to take her back
when she couldn't pick anyone up.
When will you sing again?
Oh, didn't you know?
They're the spokespersons
of this event
and wrote a theme song for us.
Can you sing for us?
I'd love to hear it.
Sure I love to sing.
Give her a beat.
"Love tore us apart
and brought us back together"
"I realize you're most
precious after the pain."
"Love keeps us together"
"I'd give anything
to see you happy."
"Just like Moms will
do anything for their babies."
"Ready to breastfeed them
anytime, anywhere."
"Your breast milk is
the greatest love for the baby."
"Let us share your love."
Calling, something fishy
near breastfeeding room.
That's all I have
I hope it's enough.
We welcome any donation
I thank you on behalf of all the
gays and lesbians in Hong Kong.
Thank you.
But there's a slight problem.
What is it?
I had spicy hotpot last night.
The milk might be a bit spicy.
We'll take what we get.
No problem.
Thank you for your contribution
I hope it's helpful.
Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
- I hope it's helpful.
- Goodbye.
- You are the best.
Is it still warm?
Fresh and warm. Perfect!
Why so many security guards?
Who's stealing milk on my turf?
- Stay away from me!
- What to do?
Stay away from me!
Move!
Hell?"...
You go here, the others follow me.
Don't run!
Let's go!
Get out!
Mind the wet floor!
Give me back!
My kind of guy!
Thanks!
Pass through here.
Stay back or I'll drop it.
Go ahead. You wouldn't dare!
Don't dare me!
Throw it!
The third floor.
Come back...
Watch me...
Fail.
Try again!
What? Even Transformers
will run out of battery.
Go!
Quick!
Go!
You have the milk? Let's go, hurry!
Be quick! They are after us.
What's this?
Don't ask.
We got it.
Where's your Boss' bottle?
Hold on...
Yours looks different.
The mother had spicy
hotpot last night.
That's just chili oil.
Just skim it like we do in hotpot.
That's not very nice.
What if the kid gets sick?
A little spice is good for him.
It'll be like enema.
It's healthier.
Enema? He's only a few months old.
There's no time. Let's talk inside.
No! Come here...
Where did she put it?
In the fridge in the pantry.
Let's not do the swap
I'll just tell her the truth.
You said it yourself.
She has Postpartum Depression
and is looney all the time.
If she knew you gave
her son's bottle to someone else,
she'll fire you.
Maybe not
I helped her secure
a big client today.
She was thrilled
and Mr. Cheung praised me.
Maybe honesty is the best policy.
What if it's not?
You'll have to move.
You know damn well
your husband is out of work.
What then?
The mother gave the
same milk to her son.
It'll be okay.
What if the kid...
No more what ifs.
Stick this in the
fridge in the pantry.
The bitches,
because of this bottle,
got back together.
Do you wish to tell everyone
what we did today
was a complete waste of time?
But I've been thinking...
Project-wise,
what's the point of this exercise?
The kid won't get his
Mom's milk tonight.
The fact that we got back together
and even if I got canned,
these are the side effects.
It's a separate matter
I need to tell the Boss.
Don't be stupid. You'll get fired.
To sacrifice a kid
to save my own neck
crosses the line.
Maybe he'll be fine in the end.
But Mrs. Cha looks out for me,
I can't do this to her
ls your Boss tall and skinny?
Yes?
She took the bottle already.
Calm down. Take it easy.
Who messed with my bottle?
Which one of you did it?
Fess up!
It's warm and sour
I'm sorry, Mrs. Cha!
Actually I...
I'm sorry.
My phone died earlier
this afternoon
I pulled a plug to charge my phone.
I realized later it was
the plug for the fridge.
I plugged it back in right away.
You are fired!
I told you not to call me Mrs. Cha
in the office.
Yes, Luna.
Tell HR to hire
someone else tomorrow.
Yes.
I'm going home to babysit.
Pour that away
June...
I think I'm too stupid
for this job.
Thanks for looking after
me over the last weeks
I should thank you instead.
Thank you!
I thank you on
behalf of the bitches.
That bitch Rosalin Boobs
is at it again.
She put everything
in her book again.
But of course,
she left out the
part in the toilet.
As usual,
she paraded her looks and body.
The book is still full of
typos and misspelled words.
But the geeks love
her just the same.
Because they're only
after her cleavage.
Minibus and I finally made up.
But we did not regroup
the Pink Ladies.
She only needs a brainless chick
with bouncing boobs
to stand behind her.
That's not a role for me.
But someone I know is
perfect for the job.
She's unemployed
and I introduced them.
They formed a group
and call themselves the PinkLin
Boris and I made a deal.
Braised pork belly once a week.
After that,
we go to the gym together.
If we're not dead after the gym
we'll get naughty.
I'm not angry with Isabel anymore.
Why lose a friend over an asshole?
But something is still eating me.
If Isabel told me the truth,
why did Andy's phone
log onto her Wi-Fi?
Sweetie!
Sweetie?
Sweetie,
why did they call you Sweetie?
Right, Sweetie.
Busy eating shrimp chips?
Get over here
Andy Leung!
Madam, do you need help?
No!
I'm interrogating a molester.
We'll move on.
Police business
Andy Leung,
I just have one question for you.
When did you shag Isabel?
After we broke up.
Come on.
We dated for so long,
I threw away all my
high heels for you.
Just admit it.
Be a man.
Before the Christmas hotpot,
when were you in her flat?
I was never there.
How many times do
I have to tell you?
But your phone has
her Wi-Fi password.
Your phone logged onto her Wi-Fi.
No, your phone
logged onto her Wi-Fi.
What?
I borrowed your phone that day.
It was already
logged onto her Wi-Fi.
Remember I left my phone in a taxi?
You told me not to waste
money on a new phone.
You let me use your old phone.
That was your phone.
You mean...
the phone you lent me
was actually my old phone?
Yes!
So I was wrong about you...
It's not your fault.
Actually, baby...
Touch me again and I'll charge you
with assault of a Police officer.
Sweetie, who are they?
My exes.
Your exes are old
enough to be my aunt.
That's because your
Sweetie sleeps around.
Take care of yourself, Sweetie.
Stay healthy, and be good to her.
Have you recovered
from candidiasis?
Remember your next doctor's
appointment and put on the ointment.
How come?
You didn't tell her why
we call you Sweetie?
From Candidiasis. See?
"Candy" is sweet.
You believe them?
Those bitches are
taking you for a ride.
You should know better.
Finish the shrimp chips at least.
It's a crime to waste food.
"I count you as a
friend for a second."
"I count you as a friend for life."
"Pity that there's no going back."
"I still miss the days gone by."
Without June's crisis,
we wouldn't have
gotten back together.
The "bitches" chat
group on WhatsApp
would have stayed at
the bottom of the page.
Friends who had a falling
out is not the worst.
Drifting apart for no reason
is what leaves people at a loss.
Everyone has a ruler deep down,
and they tend to make judgements.
You assume people betray you;
That you have the right to repackage
and sell someone else's privacy
that IF means low fat;
Or jerking off means
thinking of someone else.
Based on these judgements,
we decide to do one thing,
or not to do it.
To get mad at someone;
Or swallow the apology
you're about to make;
Or choose not to
send a certain emoji.
It's easy to say "I love you",
but impossible to ask.
"Why are you mad at me?"
There are many sides
to every situation.
We have all heard that
recording from the internet,
about a woman screaming at a man.
"I really must congratulate you."
Everyone interprets it differently.
Some sensed jealousy.
Some felt anger.
But what I heard
is love.
You'll only be angry with
someone you love.
In this day and age,
if you're still capable
of loving someone,
I really must congratulate you.
"If you ask me, I have no excuses"
"to hide from you.
We don't hold a grudge."
"How come old friends
can't stay friends in the end?"
"Can't tell if
you're friend or foe"
"I can't read you anymore."
"As time goes on."
"The stranger tomorrow is
my best friend from yesterday"
"I knew after we part company,
we have our lives to live."
"The weird thing is I accepted
we'll go our separate ways."
"Mo one but you could
make me cry like this"
"as bad as a couple splitting up."