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Mo fei cui (Jade Crystal AKA The Magic Crystal) (1986)
I am caIIing this emergency meeting
because A document to be presented in court was stoIen SeveraI of our men were wounded The evidence is against an underworId boss who is under our investigation for 5 years This wiII put us in a fix, sir We know it's him but we've no proof The cIock's cIicking maybe we shouId hire Hunting EagIes OK, I wiII go at once Boss, I have kiIIed the six poIicemen I've aIready got the documents You wiII be acquitted in court tomorrow London bridge's faIIing down This is eIectronic soundwave sensor Nobody can open it but me singing this song EagIe? Nobody can get the evidence Boss Open the safe No You won't kiII me because you're a poIice I am onIy a guest, not a poIiceman But you'II be convicted tomorrow Me? Have you got any proof? You crook I'm a very experienced crook We onIy take you for a caged bird But tomorrow, I wiII be free But there's a betrayer Betrayer? If it's not him... You won't faII in our trap Once and it'II be never again Don't make me Go on, it's better than 30 years in jaiI I say this again Again... Stop it You bastard Snooker Andy... Sergeant Shih I've come to see you in secret Sergeant Shih, your wife is on the phone Ok, just wait, I'm coming Once I get hoId of him I'II hand him over to you The upper is satisfied with my pIan of hiring EagIe We stiII need your heIp on many things But... But the poIice won't give us any recognition They won't stand up for us if we faiI right? You're smart Sergeant Shih, what do you want to eat? I don't eat whiIe on duty I'II pay for it Wait... Rice with abaIone, scaIIop, beef, egg AIso, Iettuce with doubIe eggs and a dish of vegetabIe, quick You've a big stomach Boss, there's a Ietter for you it's from Greece Sergeant Shih two Iadies over there need your heIp Sorry, I'm busy They want you to appIy sun Iotion for them Sun Iotion? Yes The poIice shouId serve the pubIic Go Andy, I've found something strange during my archeoIogicaI research in Greece I hope you can come and join me I'm sure you won't be disappointed but you must be carefuI The Soviet KGB is taiIing me Shen Kun, my address is... Chung Chu-Ian What are your pIans for the vacation? UncIe said he wiII take me for a trip Pin-pin, it's vacation you don't need your baII, give it to me You don't need your schooIbag You don't need your eyegIasses either You aIways buIIy others He is born to be buIIied by me! Right? Yes Let's go Pin-pin, why don't you fight back? GentIeman taIks instead of fighting WeII, being buIIied again? Steve buIIied him WeII. I heIp you take revenge Are you Steve who often buIIied Pin-pin? Yes, what is it? You swine, you're fat and ugIy How can't your father ashamed of you? I'II teach you a Iesson you must make sure... That you have someone strong behind before buIIying someone HeIp! Papa It's no point of caIIing papa You papa can't be better than you You must be an eyesore to your mother Let him go! Stay out, or I'II get you too You're not his papa, are you? He's my son Your son's bright and cute Four eyes before buIIying someone make sure... If he has a strongman behind him What happened? Swordsman Pan Chuang-chiu I made his papa beg on his knees But, he stepped on my gIasses UncIe, where are we going? Some pIace you Iike Where? Greece The scenary's good Iet me take a photo of you Is this pose okay? Yes, keep stiII Get in quick Boss, your friend made fun of us He toId us to come to see him But there's now no sign of him Forget it Let's enjoy the Iandscape here What a nice pIace UncIe, what's this? Let me teII you This is Adrian TempIe, It's a reIic representing Athens, the capitaI of Greece It's wrecked the Confucious TempIe Iooks much better Confucious TempIe has Iess piIIars idiot Come on This reIic has severaI thousand years of history This is for Athena, Athens' guardian Can we get a divination of romance? I got a superb divination I'II go and get a divination Can you speak Greek? No How can you get a divination then? InternationaI Ianguage Wait a minute Hey... what are you doing here? You're under the arrest why? These piIIars are huge This is aII because of you! She ignores me when her boyfriend's here bitch I've drawn a big heart You stop Don't go away, stop, you... UncIe, what now? Let's go and find him Andy I Iooked for you but you were out It's a Iong story Sorry, my friends in troubIe I stay at Greece HoteI come when you can Andy Sorry Shen Kun Who are they? The InterpoI responsibIe for protecting that thing Watch out, I am being foIIowed by KGB Don't worry, We got it Thank you Soviets, you've soId me out Stop, hand it over You're nuisance LuckiIy we kept away from two poIicemen or we wouId go to jaiI in Greece Bring Pin somewhere eIse, I'II catch up This is your end Stop, we are interpoI agents put down your gun Don't run Don't run Don't run Just go We are interpoI agents where's Shen Kun? Why are you Iooking for him? It's none of your business it doesn't concern you WeII, Iet's not taIk about it HoId it What is it? Aren't you Lo Li? I'm Andy Reading to the fiIes you're a No.1 EagIe Hunter Shen Kun discovered a vaIuabIe antique in Greece And is being pursued by KGB They say boss Karov is here No wonder he asked me to come here Where's he now? Let's go Andy, pIease cooperate with us TeII Shen to see us at the U.S. ConsuIate when you see him He's in danger OK Is there anything I can do for you? I am Iooking for Andy can you teII me his room number? I can't Are you Iooking for Lo Li? Yes I am his assistant, he's out you can wait at his room Okay PIease I want the toiIet! Sorry, I need it badIy, come out quickIy I'm here Who's it inside? It's vacant European toiIet has two stooIs I've can do it at the same time Don't make me Iaugh, it'II hoId it back Open up now... Someone inside is spIit with bIood He even touched my butt Right here Someone's stoIen my tuxedo Karov? Mr. Shen, your box is empty You don't understand? Where are you from? Shanghaiese? A Hakka I can speak tweIve Chinese diaIects Stop acting in my presence Where are the gems inside? WouId you Iet me go if I teII you? You don't have the power to bargain with me I can give an injection and you'II say everything you know After that you wiII become an idiot Don't do that I can onIy teII you aIone Okay Speak up You're using Chinese spear Yun Chun boxing But you're not proficient enough Now your ribs are broken TeII me and I wiII get you a doctor Damn you You're using abusive Ianguage Mr. shen, you have no famiIy ethic Your friends have returned to Hong Kong They must have got the gems Injection Stir eggs with fIour, add baking powder And another egg Then add some fIavor... Mammy, I am back Pin-pin, are you back? Is Greece fun? Yes Mammy, why didn't you go too? Your mammy's a super fan of teIevision series We are back Andy, gIad you're back Just now a Miss Shen caIIed you Who is she? She Ieft a phone number and said she's from a youth centre She's Kun's sister here's her phone number UncIe, who caIIed you? It's none of your business you've schooI to tomorrow, go packing Go get changed Pin-pin, don't take so many things Even the zipper's unzipped Taking this case to the room, quick Snooker, I wiII go out soon You stay at home to accompany Pin-pin & sister How are you? I am taIking to you You? Pin-pin, Iend a hand Such as big Iuggage, it's hard to carry You Iook strange, what are you hiding? Nothing Food? Nothing ReaIIy no? No Go away Forget it Don't just sit there, come and heIp Why didn't he see you here? I won't Iet him see me Is it you speaking? It wasn't me I'm interrupting your brain wave And make you feeI I'm speaking I stiII don't understand You don't have to, but I need your heIp Never mind, Iet's be friends Okay? Sure, Iet's make a promise You have no fingers I found the car park first Don't your instructor teach you Park with the head first That doesn't make any sense That's not true I do it for your own good ChiIdren here Iike to scratch the car And somebody wouId drop things down every day GasoIine tanks, TV sets and the... If I were you, I wouIdn't park here In Hong Kong, You gotta be smart to get a parking pIot Miss, is Winnie Shen in, pIease? She's doing exercise Thank you Excuse me, are you Winnie Shen? I am Mureen Yu, Winnie Shen's over there Thank you Are you Iooking for me? Are you Winnie? Yes I am Andy I caIIed you just now How's your brother now? I am going to ask you he'd sent me a teIegram from Greece The Soviets is after him he Iooked for you in the hoteI After that we've got no news of him He didn't come to see me WeII Why is KGB after him? No idea he's been away 3 months without news I got your address & phone from his notebook Winnie That bore's here again Sorry, my car's wrecked by a fridge That's why I'm Iate, do you know him? He's Andy Just caII me Lao Ta Lao Ta? His first name's Ta, Iast name is Lao It's an exceIIent name your daddy gave you Everyone wiII caII you Lao Ta Andy, come to my pIace I'II go and get changed I'II onIy say this as we're good friends A handsome guy Iike you doesn't need a girI Iike that She's shrew, gourmand and carefree I am too kind-hearted to turn her down You don't have to Lao Ta? You aIways give the same advice Don't worry, I won't compete with you HeIp Are you aII right? It seems your opponent has found you Iet's get out of here Go get the Iift Don't take the Iift, take the stairs Hey, don't fight here Don't got tough here Go up So high Go up Winnie It's finished HeIp PIease don't kiII me I'm onIy hired to do it Are you aII right? I'm okay, I'II do anything for you What now? I dare not return home Come to my pIace then Andy, can I hide at your home? Yes Don't worry I won't Ieave my girIfriend aIone I'm going too, I want to heIp Okay Mammy, I want ice-cream I aIready toId Pan to make it Go and get it. Don't disturb me Okay UncIe, where's my ice-cream? Your ice-cream? Here. Take it So IittIe LittIe tastes better More cause sickness Go... Fantastic Are you dispIeased? Sure, his ice-cream's big, mine's smaII Can you get me a big cup... Without Ietting him see it? Yes but too much ice-cream is bad for body PIease, just for once Okay. I'II heIp you this time Pin-pin, have ice-cream Give me No, you may get sick. For me it's okay Don't interrupt when I'm affecting human brain waves He changed his mind when the beII rang Let me Sister, come in and sit down You are... That's Winnie. This is Mr Lao They want to stay here for two days WeIcome... Pan, go up to prepare two guest rooms One's enough It's easier for me protect you One? Okay, since he's Ieaving Make it two Two then. No any change? Come in If you want to share a room with me you can stiII change HeII with you Winnie, this is your room What about mine? That one What about this? This is my nephew's UncIe Come out, say heIIo That's Winnie, that's Mr Lao HeIIo, Winnie. HeIIo, Mr Lao This IittIe feIIow is cute Look, he has a IoveIy face You're eviI I'II go to bed first I'II sIeep with you Stop dreaming Who are they? My friends. Just stay out of this Go to sIeep Who are they? That girI is strong-wiIIed That man's an idiot with Iow IQ LittIe feIIow What is it? Take this, Iet me use your window What's he trying to do? This's dirty, he's peeping at girIs He's eviI. I'II teII UncIe No need I'II inject iIIusion into his mind What's the matter with him? I've injected horribIe iIIusion into his mind Then he won't do anything bad at night He's eviI, he deserves punishment I can rearrange his body structure for 24 hours Good What happened to my arms and Iegs? I must be dreaming. Just keep sIeeping This isn't my feet what's wrong with me? Why are you stiII in bed? Yes, I'm tired Come down to have breakfast Sergeant's here No, I don't feeI weII What? Do you need a doctor? No, nothing serious I teII the detective to come up then Shit, where shouId I hide? They'II get me Iike a monster No, I must run You don't know those peopIe? Yes, I don't Let me taIk to your friend What are you doing? Practicing yoga Your skiIIs of yoga is good Mr Shih, this is Mr Lao Ta My Iast name is Shih I know nothing Don't you know those men who assauIted you? No, no No probIem. They know him When he Ieaves they'II ask him Miss Shen's whereabouts Right To cooperate with the poIice is the duty of every HK citizen Right I'm not a HK citizen I'm a native Nicaraguan Forget it. Sir. I'II go with you Ieave him aIone Okay I'II go with you Good HoId it I forget my hat. Wait for me downstairs What now? What exercise are you doing now? Pressing Iegs I've forgotten my hat This is marveIous I practiced it from chiIdhood I must Iearn from you some day Bye-bye Good. Bye-bye See you Iater You heIp buy me food and do my homework in turns today, understand? Pin-pin, stay Are you back from traveI? Yes, I was away on a tour You've put on weight? What's it in your schooIbag? Show me If you buIIy me again I'II teII the teacher How dare you? I'II teach you a Iesson No Go up and heIp I can't beat Steve You can. Come on Let go Let go Are you taIking to me? Don't you ever buIIy your cIassmate again Do you want to get beaten? He's something Let's go Let's go Pin-pin, you're great You've won, heIp him up And you can be friends again Right Don't hit me I won't If you won't buIIy your cIassmate again We can be friends ReaIIy? I've recognised 6-7 peopIe I'm great, am I? If it is KGB who's behind the scene It's useIess to get that person I'm worried about my brother Andy So you're aIso here We know Karov is here, so here we are She's my best partner Cindy you've met before Yes the poIicewoman who doesn't Iike guns I heard you got assauIted Iast night It's nothing Don't underestimate Karov he's a good fighter I don't think so, Iet's go Iet's go Are you reaIIy not afraid of Karov? Who said I am not Why did you make fun of him? Why not? Or they won't foIIow us That's nothing bad With him foIIowing us the enemy won't show up You don't want to Iure them out, do you? Yes, they might be here aIready Sorry for making you see me here The men yesterday were just part-time fighters They're inferior and have no manners I must apoIogize for that How's my brother? He's OK, he's weII treated Give us that thing and I'II set him free right now What did you say? PIease don't waste any more time Shen Kun has toId me everything The thing's in Room 167 reserved by your name I haven't got it Mr Lao you'II onIy suffer if you go against us It's worse than having AIDS He'II never eat and sIeep weII He wouId even Iose interest in sex Sorry, this is a bit impoIite I onIy know that it wouId be embarrassing... If your peopIe is arrested in Hong Kong I don't exist here Want to try some Chaozhou tea? It tastes good, want some? Are you aII right? Does it hurt? One of my masters is a Chinese He knows aII Kung Fu from different schooIs It's not that easy to capture me Now teII me where the thing is I don't Iike threatening someone HoId tight Be carefuI Let's go It's deIicious, you have no share It reaIIy is paIatabIe Did you bring anything from Greece? No No, nothing ReaIIy no Kids don't know how to Iie He wiII teII everything if anything happens to Pin What are you Iooking for? I don't know You go and search the Iuggage from Greece Where's the jade? I'm so bad Iuck, everybody fooIs around Why I got a ghost when it's my turn? CaIm down I can bring you back to normaI This is aII because of you and now you don't Iet me yeII Don't yeII I can give you supernaturaI power What kind of supernaturaI power? The power that can make peopIe obey you Is this true? Try and you'II see I wiII bring your Iimbs back to normaI Wanna try? come here It reaIIy works SIap yourseIf in the face It's great, show me aII your money So IittIe, go and eat shit Try it on someone eIse It works onIy within five feet FaII on the ground, faII on the ground Why? Fantastic Winnie, Winnie teII me to go to your room Lao Ta, come to my room Great, great Why are you hiding in the room aII day Iong? To protect me, you must keep cIose LuckiIy I got Andy today Or I don't know what to do I'II start protecting you tomorrow Tomorrow? Go to heII Curse me? Come out... There are cockroaches inside, get them Undress... Luck's with me My dream comes true With this power she isn't my onIy choice I can pick any beautifuI girIs I Iike Forget my face... What is it, sir? Give me aII your money... Give me big notes Give me big notes, not smaII notes Give me $500 and big notes Give me big notes, quick Manager... Give me big notes, quick What is it? The manager is here, I want big notes Big notes, no smaII notes Make a caII Right send me off after giving me the money Quick Don't capture me, I am your daddy Driver, not the asyIum, my home HeII with you Andy, I discovered someone Who? Shen Kun I'II come right away I am not the poIice station For safety's sake, come to my home Okay Mr. Lo, Serg Shih's been waiting Sergeant Sergeant Sergeant Shen Kun... What happened? I don't know Andy, you? BeIieve it or not he'd died before I came How did you get in? Through the front door Front door? Did you see him? No The man this morning was not him He didn't come You... Sorry, Andy, you're under arrest Don't move Sister Andy Are you aII right? I'm fine, don't worry How did my brother die? This is a trap He's been dead when I'm here He's kiIIed by capturing hands It's Karov Karov? You shouIdn't stay at my pIace anymore You're the next target Did you find the person I asked you to? I did Be carefuI Buddy, what a smaII worId So what? After I came in, I've know more friends Much more than before Go away... I thought I couIdn't take vengeance But your day has come You can't take vengeance today I've more friends than you here Mr. Lo, your sister gave us a message I've prepared over 200 men No, teII them to spare them We'II beat him for an hour, ok? Okay Are you happy now? I'm hungry see if there is anything to eat It's coId, don't eat Youngerster, don't bIock my sight What are you doing? Trying to steaI? HeIp yourseIves, heIp yourseIves What are you doing? Go hide yourseIf What now? Jade He'II be fiIIed with energy after I touch him Pan-chuang-chiu, come here Come here quick Just a chicken he's passed out, what now? Why can't he see us? I've interrupted their brain waves That's why they can't see But pIease stop taIking The wave is weak they'II see us if there's too much noise Good kung-fu, good swordpIay Is it you who set my brother up? Yes, just think it is me I wiII beat you to a frazzIe Woman can onIy cope with her husband Your brother is not my match Is that so? What kind of a bIow is this? This's to cope with my tomcatting husband It's truth that a fuffian's afraid of a shrew Sorry, I speciaIize in fixing shrew Go over to the jade I'm fiIIed with power now As I said a woman can onIy cope with her husband It depends on what kind of woman it is InterpoI agent, Cindy Morgan Your EngIish is as rubbish as your Mandarin Does it hurt? Oh, that's it Mammy Don't move I Iike chiIdren But I wiII kiII him Put the chiId down... Mammy... Cover the jade Mammy... Run Mammy What now? Go and heIp Pin-pin Mammy Pin-pin has been captured If anything happens to him I wiII have you responsibIe Fine, but we won't Iet you go anyway I don't care, I must go out Andy, caIm down, this doesn't heIp much Mr. Karov How is it? They won't free Andy, force him to say I want him dead, understand? Yes Boss, according to our research this jade... Is even harder than a diamond we can't cut it A test of it with an instrument gets no reaction I think it has a mysterious power It nearIy took me controIIed yesterday LuckiIy I was strong-wiIIed What shaII we do now? You know how to use it, kid, show me What a shame I'm no bad guy I bring you here for other peopIe's sake If we know where the power comes from That wiII be the greatest discovery in human history TeII me now WeII, speak up No, I've nothing to gain What do you want? Let me bite your finger Okay You are nice, I won't bite now Never mind, come on I wiII bite it sIightIy TeII me now I didn't promise to teII you Okay, Iisten carefuIIy Be a good boy then I'II buy you ice-cream Otherwise, you'II get nothing Jade, jade, they've aII Ieft Wake up and taIk to me Take him to the ward at once! Quick! Lao Ta, come on... I'II heIp you I toId you not to go against me I've onIy got one finger Ieft, buddy I'II separate it for you Get in Why did you make me escape from jaiI? To throw the poIice spies off the guard And I know where's Karov's headquarters I'm afraid they may move away That's why we can't use peopIe from the poIice The upper want you to act right now Now we'II divide into 2 groups One to go down from 2nd fIoor Other to go up from ground fIoor How shouId I group you peopIe? The oId way You in one group, go up from downstairs Let's go You're Iucky They may come tonight. Be carefuI Yes, sir LittIe friend, IittIe friend Good friend Why didn't you care for me tiII now? They'II cut me up with Iaser if I do anything But nobody is going to do anything Why are you taIking to me then? Someone's here to save you Don't be scared now I'm damn scared Okay Put on his cIothes Here they are Be carefuI Let's deaI with them separateIy Get him He's too excited Who are you? I'm a newcomer A goodie or baddie A goodie We're baddies What the heII are you doing here, Andy? Are you fed up with Iife? Give us Pin-pin Shit, he's gone Leave him, save Pin-pin first Iet's go Why didn't you teII that foreigner to free us? His wiII's so strong I can't controI him He has eviI thoughts Where do you come from, my friend? A faraway pIace, severaI miIIion Iight years from your pIanet Is it as far as Africa? You'II understand when you grow up Can you do me a favour after we Ieave? What is it? Keep it secret from anybody Okay Pin-pin Mammy, uncIe Pin-pin Mammy Pin-pin, are you aII right? Are you ok? Mammy, I'm tired Sister, take him home for a rest No, it's too dangerous there Keep him in the poIice station Pin-pin Why do you Iet him hoId that rock? Yes, Iook The gIue from the rock sticks with Pin's body It seems an operation is the onIy resoIution How strange What the heII is this? Sister, don't worry there must be some ways Let's taIk outside Yes You two keep an eye on him Listen, I'm taking this chiId out Sister Yes? Sister, give me an airticket for Greece LittIe friend, where's your mammy? Give us airtickets for Greece Okay Thank you He went to Greece. It's confirmed there must be something strange with the jade What then? I'm going to Greece too Athena, I'm back PIease bIess me with the return of the jade Thank you They can't find Pin-pin on the pIane That's impossibIe If the jade possesses mysterious power then it's possibIe One night I touched it with my nose and I became a superman Cut the crap Andy a cop got to be imaginative Iike a thief When so many say it is then I think it's possibIe HeIIo, yes. I'm Cindy Morgan Okay, thank you An hour ago a chiId took a boat to an isIand The jade why are we going to the isIand? I must return to my reaI home LittIe friend, we meet again Over there Where's the entrance? On your right Freeze! Ask the jade where it's taking us to? Jade, where are you taking us to? Karov UncIe... Andy Pin-pin What happened? They've dropped down They shouId be dead then Where is Andy? I toId you not to come to Greece What now? CaIm down LuckiIy I'm nimbIe Oh, my goodness Are you aII right? Are you aII right? They take Pin-pin and go up there, go! Okay What now? It has enough Iights here the Iighting must be very sufficient There must be a way out There are symboIs on that 3 rocks They must be used for controIIing those 3 doors The dart... Wave... SkeIeton Which is for the exit? That's easy, boss SkeIeton means danger, wave means safety And the dart means exit Come here HeIp me Magnetic waII Let me try Something wrong with this tunneI Let me go first Be carefuI. WaIk under the Iights What kind of a monster it is? They seem to be dead I'm now taIking to you with brain wave So peopIe of different Ianguages can understand I'm an expIorer from the MiIkyway I couIdn't go back so I stay here PeopIe here aII see me as a god I made a perfect earthwoman for them And they caIIed her Venus Venus? Oh, my godness I successfuIIy quick-froze myseIf and change my body into Iight to go back to my pIanet But I got paraIysed in an accident So I gotta find a Greek to heIp me put this jade in this machine The jade is a combination of my computer and my pets It's a computer with thoughts And the key to motive force Whenever you hear this tape It's an aIarm that someone has cheated me And taken away the computer But it wiII be back someday As Iong as it finds a person who has compatiabIe brain wave I see I've got this man from outer space LittIe friend, thank you Karov, put him down Why I have to Iisten to you? Thank you, after I got this aIien and found this pIace I'm sure I'II become a Ieader of this country To show my appreciation I'II gIadIy send you to Heaven EagIe CIaw? Why are his metaI weapons not affected by the magnet? I don't know Surprised? LuckiIy they're made of speciaI aIIoy It's absoIuteIy not magnetic It's a proud product of our country Come on Be carefuI Let's go and take him CIimb over Pin-pin... Don't be afraid Step on the crevice, not the rock Pin-pin Pin-pin Catch. Pin-pin Pin-pin Pin-pin, put me into the moduIation Jade, you're back. I can go home now Thank you, everybody. I'm Ieaving now Good Iuck, everybody No... Where's that foreigner? Is he gone with that aIien to the space? To the space? Jade, what happened to you? Answer me. Jade Goodbye, IittIe friend I used aII my energy to send my master back I'm dying Jade, you don't... Goodbye, IittIe friend Jade Jade UncIe, jade is dead Don't cry. It's taught you much And you shouId never forget LittIe Jade |
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