1
Do you dream
of living in a luxury home,
but can't afford
the pricey rent,
much less a hefty mortgage?
Now you could live your
dreams with no rent,
no mortgage and no money down.
It's not magic, it's
Live-In Staging.
I've lived in a 4,000
square foot house
with a pool, guest house...
The last one was over
5,000 square feet,
right on the water
with fabulous views.
We are seeking
talented individuals
to decorate and maintain
these magnificent homes.
Every day, people
just like you are saying
goodbye to rent and hello
to the home of their dreams.
So what are you waiting for?
Call the number below...
Live your dreams
with Live-In Staging.
Jaime, wake up,
we're almost there, babe.
I'm so sorry, he didn't
sleep a wink last night.
Oh.
Too nervous.
Oh god, it's hot in here too.
I guess there's no
escaping it today.
Oh, piece of junk!
I think there's another
thermostat upstairs.
Oh!
Can you believe this?
It's just like one of
the rooms in my magazines.
For a model, it has
surprisingly few upgrades.
Did you see this?
Would you do me a favor and just get
rid of all that crapola, would you?
As a matter of fact, why don't you
take out the garbage right now?
Thanks.
Sure.
When's your father coming
with the rest of your furniture?
- All done.
- Do you have your T-1112 form?
- Actually the agency said...
- The agency.
The agency was the one
who swore the last family
didn't have any pets!
Now where the hell are they?
I did go through an orientation.
Orientation? Do you
want a real orientation?
Do you know these local punks
have gotten so cocky
they started breaking
into my lockboxes
so I have to carry every
single pair of keys
for every single empty listing
that I have, 49 of them!
This guy, this is two doors
down, he's a foreclosure.
This guy, now he was
your next-door neighbor,
he cut and run,
and it wasn't two weeks before
the garage was graffitied.
When I started here,
it was so different.
So different.
There were hundreds of houses,
hundreds of sales.
Dozens of streets.
Do you know I have
a cul-de-sac named after me?
Jaime!
The market crash is no different
from any other disaster.
Nobody wants to be the first
family to move back in, you know?
I mean, they can't picture it.
It's not personal.
They need living proof
that it can happen.
That's why I hired the agency
and that's why the agency
hired you, but this this a job!
It's not a vacation,
it's a job with real rules.
Just like a real job. The other family
who lived here did not understand that.
They didn't understand that this house
needs to be show ready at all times.
- It has to be furnished, decorated, cleaned.
- Mom?
- Not now, baby.
- There cannot be pets, no smoking, no water beds,
- no big parties.
- Mom, you promised.
I'm so sorry, Brenda,
where did you say that
half bath was again?
We need more Depakene.
Oh no, whatever will we do?
Do you think she noticed?
She didn't say anything.
- Mrs.
- Torres, is everything all right in there?
Okay, just two seconds.
Tongue.
Okay, come on.
Today, nearly 500,000 homes
stand empty across
the United States.
Developers are desperate to
find qualified individuals
to protect their...
- All right, Agent Torres, we need your testimony.
- Stop it!
How's it feel to be
one of the new occupants
of this fabulous house?
Stop, I mean it.
Okay, okay.
Just wanted to have a memento.
So what do you think?
It's good.
Hey, promise me you won't go
around that pool without me.
Okay?
I worry, baby, there's
nobody else around.
It's hard to believe isn't it?
We live here, doc.
We live here.
Attention citizens
of Craft Town,
interested in cupcake design?
Love to scrapbook?
Craft Town now offers classes...
- Can I go look around?
- To unleash your creativity.
Yeah, just stay close.
- Stay where I can hear you.
- For more information.
Nice.
Come on.
Hi. Hi, I'm calling from
InvisiShield Home Security.
Hi. Hi, I'm calling from
InvisiShield Home Security
and we're surveying people
in your neighborhood
about a number of
recent break... Fuck!
Shit.
Break-outs, break-ins?
Break-ins.
Smile.
Hi, I'm calling from
InvisiShield Home Security,
yes, so we're calling...
Hey.
Come here.
Ah!
Come here.
Enough, you're going
to ruin your appetite.
If I eat all my vegetables,
can we get another dog?
No pets.
Why not?
Secret agent no-no,
you ever see James Bond
with a hamster?
Hinky Pink's eating
all his vegetables.
I want to go home.
We are home, babe.
Damn it!
Shit.
I've lived in a 4,000
square foot house
with a pool, and a guest house.
Now, when they offer
me anything smaller
I say, "No!"
The last one was
over 5,000 square feet,
right on the water with
fabulous views.
Today, more than 500,000
homes stand empty across the United States.
Developers are desperate to
find qualified individuals
to decorate and maintain...
Shh.
Go back to bed, it's going
to be a big surprise.
- Today, more than...
- Because I'm sick of living dirty, you understand?
I'm sick of living dirty, we
have to get clean and safe.
Clean and safe, do you hear me,
Jaime? Do you understand?
Yeah, we have to get clean,
everything clean.
I'm so tired.
You get that, you feel
the difference?
Yeah, make it better.
Better double up
on the red ones.
Red is the only color
dogs can see.
I'm serious, the lithium's
giving me the shakes again.
If I give you two,
you'll be sleepy,
I'll give you half.
Jaime.
Your call is important.
All counselors are currently
assisting other patients.
If this is a medical emergency,
please hang up and dial 911.
You are currently
number four in queue.
Is your mother home?
Mrs. Torres.
Hi, I tried to call, but it
just went right to voicemail.
Oh, hm... I... I...
I haven't been feeling so well.
I think I accidentally
turned my phone off.
Yeah, well, I came over here
today because I called
the agency yesterday, you know,
about the proof of income forms
and those agency yahoos, they
never even saw your T-1112.
My husband has that stuff.
They've never seen
a husband either.
Uh... Uh, I could call him.
- Okay.
- Yeah, I'll call him
and then you two can
work this out.
- Good.
- Yeah, just give me a sec, let me just...
Sorry, - Look...
I'm fine, really.
I think that you need
to think about
alternate arrangements.
No, please. Please, Brenda, no.
- This isn't a charity.
- Then let me work for it!
No.
Okay, look, there's an
open house in three weeks.
I need this place perfect
and I need the T-1112, okay?
And here, here's your mail.
Boy!
Uh, come here!
Boy! Boy!
Here, take it.
Boy?
Does that mean you hate it?
I was trying to whistle.
Well, in that case,
we'll put your bed here.
For planning purposes,
we can always move it later.
- I can pick any bed?
- Mm-hmm.
You can rent any bed
except a water bed.
Why not water beds?
Do you want to sleep
with your floaties on?
I thought this might
be cute for the kitchen.
Or maybe this, or this.
I found so much cute
stuff, it's great.
Here, take a look!
Come on, find a picture.
Come on.
Here.
- What room is this for?
- The garage.
Real quick, fresh cilantro
or happy camper?
Attention citizens of Craft
Town, the store is now closing.
Attention citizens of Craft
Town, the store is now closing.
So soon, that can't be right.
It's funny, in all the bustle,
I must've lost track of time.
Yeah, it's non-stop
excitement in here.
There's a whole aisle
I didn't see right there.
Something for tomorrow, right?
True.
Thanks, I'm so sorry,
I forgot it was Sunday
and your hours are earlier.
No problem, no problem.
Uhm, I think you're unlocking
and then re-locking.
Thank you.
Oh, perfect.
You go all the way.
- Mom?
- What now, baby?
Here, let me take your bag.
You go through.
- Now you.
- Sure, sure, it's just a glitch.
What about her purse?
My purse?
By all means, please.
I think...
It's a glitch.
That's really sweet.
Thank you.
Now I don't want you to think
this is an all the time thing,
this junk food.
Can I have my chapstick?
As if this meal could
get less healthy.
It's in my bag.
Jaime, look who's here.
Scout?
Hey, Scout.
Hi, uhm, it's Camila, I'm
calling from InvisiShield.
Home Security.
How are you this morning?
Yeah, well, Jean,
I'm calling this morning
because there's been...
I'm calling
this morning because,
because of the recent
number of break-ins...
In...
Sorry...
uh, in... in Yellow Springs.
Uh-huh.
See, Jean, I'm not calling
to sell you anything,
it's your choice if your
family is protected or not.
One second.
Jaime, is that you?
It's a...
42-point inspection of your
house and surrounding properties
by a certified security analyst.
Yeah, these are the top guys
in the business.
Well you may not be
interested, Ann,
but the thieves are
very interested.
That's why we're
offering you a free
42-point survey of
your home and grounds.
Mm-hmm.
One second.
Mm-hmm.
- Mom!
- You know what, Ann?
My supervisor just
walked in the room,
can I call you back?
Thank you.
Are you going to
take your pills?
You know what, I think I'm
really getting the hang
of this, I mean I had seven
positives out of 50 calls
and Marlon Feld says
to only expect
a one out of 20 ratio.
Oh!
Look at this!
- Were you up at all last night?
- No.
Are you going to
take your pills?
Hey!
Mom!
I saw the truck, did my bed...
Hello, Paula?
This is Camila from
InvisiShield Home Security.
Yeah, I'm calling about the
recent number of break-ins
around your home, around
your neighborhood,
around your hometown.
Brenda?
Hi.
How is everything?
No, I haven't forgotten
about the open house
or the T-1112, don't you worry.
And wait until
you see the place.
Yeah, it's been fun.
Getting everything into shape.
Great, okay.
See you then.
Attention citizens
of Craft Town,
it's time for our annual
Christmas in July sale,
so please check out
the half-price...
Here, babe?
Put your shades back on.
Do I have to wear them?
We're on a mission.
I hate this mission.
Only a few more things, okay?
For Heaven's sake, could you
just ring me up, please?
All I've got is
three little beads.
I can only run this so many times
before the register flips its shit.
I got them from the bulk bin,
they're only 17 cents apiece.
And there was no
minimum purchase
because I looked for the sign
and I couldn't find one.
You know what, I can
write a check, is that okay?
Walt, can you come up and
do an override, please?
Now, I've got a coupon,
but I can use the coupon later
if you think this is...
Manager to register one.
Oh, are you the manager?
- Listen, all I want to do is...
- I tried running this four times and it didn't run once.
- And I've got the money...
- So if you want to do a check override...
- I don't even need a bag.
- We've got to find the key.
I was supposed to be on break
as of 20 minutes ago.
Walt?
Remember me?
Yes. I do.
Hey.
It is our estimate that 4%...
- I think it's broken!
- Of the American people...
- What?
- Own 85%...
- See, I'm trying!
- Of the wealth of America.
- And that over 70...
- You want to try it?
- None...
- Agent Torres,
where's your courage?
Well then I guess
I won't either.
Whoa...
I think it's a little dangerous!
Come on, babe, we're
going as fast as we can!
Hello?
I need a ride, come immediately.
Because my truck...
is in the shop.
Shut the door,
you're letting out
the air conditioning!
So, hey.
Oh, looks like a lot of people.
So how'd it go?
- Have you got that T-1112?
- Yeah, right here.
Here you go.
Hmm.
Is everything okay?
Hmm.
- I'll just look at this later.
- And the open house?
Was fine!
I'm so sorry.
I... I brought that in here
because everybody was asking me
who was responsible
for the decorations.
Like I told you,
people like it personal.
- That's so sweet.
- So tell me,
how hot is it out there,
boiling?
You say that you don't keep
any valuables in the house,
but what about your family?
Is there anything more
valuable than family?
Come on, honey.
- Camila Torres?
- Who?
Come with me.
Will you please sit down?
Is this about that check?
Fucking Edgar,
you know I don't...
He told me that there'd
be money in that account.
Are you married?
No, I...
Well, you know what,
I brought a new card
and if that's not acceptable
then I'm happy to go...
Is that...
My alarm for
the daily announcements.
For the announcements.
Jesus.
Oh please, don't let me stop...
Don't let me stop
your announcements.
Attention citizens
of Craft Town,
it's time for our annual
Christmas in July sale
so please check out...
The half-price bins before
you leave the store.
Shop now and save today
at Craft Town.
Do you know Marlon Feld?
- The Power Sales Systems guy?
- No.
Oh my god,
he's got this, here, let me...
You have got to hear this.
So Marlon Feld says
in order to sell more,
you've got to smile more, right?
You've got to hear this.
He says that the smile
is the sweetest sound.
Smiles equal sales, okay?
So read that same
announcement again,
but this time, smile.
Go ahead, smile.
What's the problem?
No, that's not it.
It's not?
Mom?
With all the thefts
in your area?
Sue, please, the inspection
is your only protection.
Sue, that just won't do.
What was that?
Sue, did you hear that?
There!
Did you hear that?
What do you mean, no?
No.
No!
Fuck.
I thank the
Lord for the Holy Ghost and fire.
I thank the Lord for
good health before me!
I believe...
Mom!
Did you hear last night?
Uh, hear what?
The dog?
The... No, no, no, no.
Didn't hear anything
like that, no.
Maybe you should
go look for the dog.
Look, go look outside.
- Right now?
- Sure!
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
before it's too late.
What if
I told you, you could live
in the home of your dreams
with no money down?
What if I told you
you could live
in the home of your dreams
with no money down,
no mortgage payment
and no rent of any kind?
I've lived in a 4,000 square
foot house with a pool and a guest house.
Now, when they offer me
anything smaller
I say, "No!"
Why do you wear that?
This?
To keep you close.
When you're near,
I can't do wrong.
When you're right here,
everything's all right.
Mom?
I'm running away!
Did you hear me?
You can't do this.
I won't let you!
I'm running away,
you can't stop me.
Okay?
Camila?
Camila!
I'm using my key!
Oh cripe.
Why does it have to be this heat?
Camila?
Camila!
Are you in there?
Camila!
Nothing checked out, none of it.
The... the work history,
the references.
Oh, my husband has that.
No record of him.
Just a lot of stories
about you and
uh, your condition.
- Are you saying I did something wrong?
- No.
No.
If anyone is at fault here
it seems to be the agency.
And I have been saying
to those clowns for years
that they never did
their due diligence.
They never did their
background checks
so it was only
a matter of time bef...
Camila.
Because we are terminating
our contract with the agency
that means we are nullifying
all of the subsidiary
staging contracts,
including yours.
You need to clear out
in two days.
But that's not necessary.
Camila, I'm sorry but
you need to sign this, OK?
You don't understand.
The only contract that
I'm going to sign
is a sales contract.
My husband and I are
buying this house.
Camila. Please.
I don't know much about
your condition, but I do know
that sometimes people
feel things so intensely.
We're paying cash.
You know that, we're paying
list and we're paying cash.
Please. Please just... Please.
He's in his workshop
in the garage.
Edgar!
Brenda's here about
the house, honey!
I'm just going to go upstairs
and clean up a little
and then we can sit and
have a nice, serious talk.
Where's your little boy?
Stop it!
Stop, I mean it!
Are you okay?
Little boy?
Stop it!
Stop, I mean it!
You need to say you're
okay if you're okay.
Camila.
You need to listen, Camila.
You don't want to do anything...
What if
I told you, you could live
in the home of your dreams
with no money down.
What if I told you
you could live
in the home of your dreams
with no money down.
What if I told you
you could live...
Agent Torres!
You've been assigned
a new mission,
report to the garage
immediately.
You need to keep
these two wires together,
you understand me?
Do not knock them apart!
I need the car to stay running.
I will turn it off, copy that?
Good, now, do your feet
reach the pedals?
Okay, perfect. Now, show me
where the gearshift is.
Jaime, show me the gearshift.
America needs a tidal wave
of the old time rage.
America needs to be taken
out to God's bath house
and the hose turned
over us, the time is...
You stay there while I finish
- the disposal protocol.
- What?
What if someone comes?
Handle yourself, Agent Torres.
You!
Management to register one.
Repeat, management
to register one.
Are you okay?
You're hurt?
- I'm not hurt.
- Who was it?
No one hurt me,
I'm just getting ready
for the holiday open house,
my husband, Edgar, came home.
Do you mind taking that?
I'm afraid I'm out of cash.
Thank you!
Any more of this shit and I'm
going to need a hazmat suit.
- What shit?
- Last week was all like Christmas stuff
and now it's Halloween,
that's commitment, man.
I should call the hospital.
You mean the police?
And soon, please, before
she cuts my face off
and glues it in her scrap book.
Are you hearing me, Walt?
Uh, if she decides to come back
and start the massacre early,
I'll be at Quiznos.
Are you ready
for your chill pills?
Did you come to have
a pill fill with Daddy?
- Edgar.
- We have enough for everyone.
Now drink up, just like
you saw Daddy do.
It'll help Mommy get ready
for the holiday open house.
You're going to look so pretty.
Now stick your tongue out.
Don't open
your presents yet, Edgar!
I'm watching you!
Wait for Jaime and I to
come down, okay, honey?
Camila?
Camila?
Edgar, you, get back from there.
Camila, are you okay?
Can you hear me, Camila?
I have Edgar!
You, sit, there.
No.
- Sit!
- No!
- No!
- Sit!
Sit down!
Edgar!
Edgar?
No, no!
You!
Hi.
You must be hungry.
I don't have anything.
When you're near,
I can't do wrong.
When you're right here,
everything's all right.
I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.
Mom!
Mommy!
Mommy!
Forever.
Help!
Help!
Hello?
Anyone home?