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My Life as a Dog (1985)
I should have told her everything.
Mom loved stories like that. MY LIFE AS A DOG It's not so bad if you think about it. It could have been worse. Just think how that poor guy ended up who got a new kidney in Boston. He got his name in all the papers, but he died just the same. And what about Laika, the space dog? They put her in a Sputnik and sent her into space. They attached wires to her heart and brain to see how she felt. I don't think she felt so good. She spun around up there for five months until her doggy bag was empty. She starved to death. It's important to have something like that to compare things to. Ingemar, open the door now. Come on. Ingemar, this is not funny. Open up now, Ingemar. He can't be in there. You know about it, eh? I'm sorry, but I couldn't tell you. I just couldn't. I think about that woman who went to Ethiopia to be a missionary. They beat her to death with clubs right while she was preaching. You have to compare all the time. Little Frog! I did it. Let's see. - Stick out your tongue. - No. I don't want to. - Yes, you have to. - No. I changed my mind. Yes, out with your tongue. Further! Mix it! Good. Now we're married. She had to marry a man from the south. Is it good? Yeah. Six hundred pages. Mom read it through in three days. She sort of reads. She photographs each page with one glance: "click". And that's it. I've been reading it for a week and I'm only on page 30. Funny, fighting a war when they're from the same country. Come on, I'll show you. It's real easy. Girls have a sort of bottle inside. Just like a bottle. It's like upside-down inside them. It looks about like this. This is what it's like inside a girl, between her legs. And you have to stick it in and shoot up at this little thing. And then there'll be a baby. Come on, I'll show you. No. Ingemar, come here a minute. Everybody understands now? This is how it works. Ouch! Cut it out! It's stuck! Ow! It hurts. Watch it! If kids do this to each other, it can really get stuck! Can I help? No, thanks. Why do you do these things? - What? - Like in the cellar just now. It wasn't me. Oh, why do you do it? I don't know. I guess it's menopause. Mom. Go away! l think about that guy who saw a Tarzan movie. He grabbed a high-voltage wire to swing on and fell dead on the spot. You should never think you're Tarzan. Get up! You overslept, for God's sake! What the hell have you done? Shut up! - You have to make breakfast. - l'm making it now. Don't mention this. Promise. If you don't, you can borrow my rifle sometime. Okay? Hi. Is it good? What is it now? Drink properly, Ingemar. Drink! Do it! Careful, you'll spill it! Drink! Watch out! Come on! Mom! He's done it again! What's going on here? Any idea? What? I should have told her everything while she still had her strength. Stories from life. Mom really loved those. She collected them. You have to have something to tell her. I like it when she laughs. Then she puts her book down. The problem is, she reads a lot. lt's good if you can get her to think about something else. Good girl, Sickan. I think I love Sickan as much as Mom. Mom was a photographer before she got sick. Then we came. She had to quit. Mom! Close the door! It could have been worse. It's important to remember that. Just think about that train wreck l read about. A train ran right into a railcar at Glycksbo. Six people were killed and fourteen injured. Just as a comparison. Ingemar! You have to watch out for those railcars. It could have been me. Have you read this? Your mother writes so strange. No, she doesn't. You know what a graphologist is? - No. Handwriting expert. They can tell things from handwriting. - You know what that means? - No. That she's intelligent and has a sense of humor. Oh? Well, I can't read it all the same. - What's next? - A tablespoon of sugar. Sickan. Good-bye. Don't you dare! What are you doing? Give me that gun! He was aiming at Sickan. I said give me the gun! Move! I said move! Watch the carpet! Stop! You're driving me crazy! Idiots! Why don't you do what l say? Open the door! You damned brats! Mom, calm down. Please calm down. - Can't you hear me? Open up! - Go back to bed, Mom. If I hadn't closed the window, social services would have come. Yes, they would have. It sounded terrible. - Come on. First one home! - Okay. Wait. I won. They dug up Erik the XIV. Come and lie down. He died of arsenic poisoning. There's proof. Come on now. I've undressed. Imagine, being poisoned with arsenic. Come on now, hurry up. So there you are! What the hell are you up to? Wait, I want to talk to you! Goddamn it! What the hell is this? Stop, you! Stop, l say! Just wait till your mother hears about this! Shut up, Sickan. We'll live here now. Mom has to have some peace for a while, or we're liable to kill her. You don't want that, do you? You cold? Yeah, you're cold. Nice, eh? No. No, damn! Shut up, Sickan! Damn it! Shut up! Help! Mom. What would you like for dinner? I can make some pancakes. Your mother's very weak. You have to try to understand. She has to have a little peace and quiet, or she will never get well. If she can just be by herself over the summer at least. Just not to Solbacken again. I won't go there. We'll see. Your mother will have to decide that. It's your goddamn fault. Away again. Nice going. At least you don't have to go to the children's home this time. Where's your dad? I don't know. Somewhere on the Equator, I think. What's he doing there? Loading bananas. I think he should be here looking after you. Yes. Fathers are responsible, too. What would happen to the bananas? Somebody has to load them. Somebody else can do it. But who? Who'll look after the bananas? Anyway, I'll miss you. It's very practical, see. You make a note of everything that's yours. Then you're on the safe side. Next time you just tick them off. I learned that as a child. Three pairs of shorts. Write that down. What more does he need? Rain jacket. Out in the hall. Mom, can't I take Sickan with me? I told you, your uncle can't take care of a dog. Why not? - Did you write down "raincoat"? - Please, Mom. Help Mr. Sandberg pack now. Don't bother your mother. Raincoat! - I'm not going to any uncle! - Shut up, for God's sake! - I won't. l won't. I won't. - Stop that. Shut up! Damned fool! Where is that kennel? A little ways out of town. - Is it a good kennel? - Sure. What if she doesn't like it there? Why wouldn't she? Your train's here, Erik. Bye, then. Bye. Say hello to Grandma. Yeah. See you. Come on, Ingemar! lt really bothers me when I think of that poor dog Laika. Terrible, sending a dog up in a space ship without enough food. She had to do it for human progress. She didn't ask to go. - Ingemar? - Yes. - Welcome to Smaland! - Thanks. It's getting a little warmer anyway. Yes, you must have brought better weather with you. You must have good luck. You're lucky with the weather. It's getting better. It's fine, Ulla. Was there too much salt? Well, maybe. A little too much salt. Ingemar. You know how they make these big sausages? It's simple. You take a two-man tent, a cotton tent. Then you stuff a moose and a badger inside it. And if a mother-in-law happens to fall into it, it only adds spice. Then they just fight inside there until they kill each other. They have to chew away at each other, so they all get ground up properly. You let it shrink in the sun for a summer, then hang it in the chimney. It takes a while, but it's good. Damned good. Like a little more, Mother? No, thanks. - What is it? - Help me! Can you go downstairs and find out what old Mr. Arvidsson wants? What do you want, Mr. Arvidsson? Is that Fransson hammering? Look and see if Fransson is hammering. Somebody's lying on the roof. I knew it. Shoot him down, Ingemar. He's driving me crazy. Maybe he'll be finished soon. Finished? He won't be finished until he's killed me. Come and read to me, Ingemar. Sit down here. Read. There. "Ribbons are incredible. They reduce the waist and remove all excess." Is that it? Yes, go on, Ingemar. "The unbellevably flexible latex wool and Ribbon's special patent literally caresses the body. Built-in waist supports, double panty padding" - Hello, sir. Ingemar, shall we have coffee in the summerhouse? Go on in. Have a seat on the couch. Well, you can sit here. Right... you should have the ball here. In your head. That's how the Brazilians do it. Then you don't have to chase it. You have to be the ball. Then you stand where you know the ball is going to come. Understand? You'll see tomorrow. Be the ball. That's good. Use your ankle. You'll get more power. Come on! Good! Afors! Cover him! Come on now. What are you staring at? Nothing. You're staring at my hair, right? It's green, eh? I know. Come on, Saga! Look! Haven't got a chance. She's the best on the team. She? Yeah. You can't tell, right? Keep quiet about it. Cover that side! Got it right in the head. Groggy. Didn't see it. Right in the head. We forgot the samba in our legs too. Good, Ingemar. He'll make it on the boys' team, right, Manne? - Yeah. See you, Ingemar. - See you. - Hi. - Hi. - Can we have a rematch? - Okay. Hello, Fransson. Looks good. That's Fransson. Best roof in all of Smaland. He's always there. Mr. Arvidsson wants me to shoot him down. That'd be a shame. The rain would leak in then. Good, good. Just fine. Nice footwork. Get the samba in your legs. Look at Ulla. God! Oh, no. I didn't mean it. Wait, I have to soak it. No, stop! Ingemar. "Like a dream. Featherlight slips, with beautifully fashioned... breast section." You didn't eat your food. You can see my machine. It's in there. - What are they doing there? - Bevellng the glass. - Got it with you? - You'll get your money. I know where women's breasts are. Not on my vases, I'll tell you that. Is that supposed to be art? Filth, that's what it is. Her breasts are in the right place, by God. Hello, Berit. This is Ingemar, my sister's boy. Our new right-forward. I'll smash every one of them. Dirty mind. You can be sure of that. Master glassmaker. Not as dangerous as he looks. That's the designer. He's dangerous. Right, Berit? Ingemar. Coming to the barn? Hi, Grandpa. Hi. - Can we take a bath later? - Yeah. That's my flying saucer. You want to go with me in it later? - Hi. - Hi. This is Ingemar. He's going to be on the team. How about a match? Okay. Best of three rounds. I've had it. - We'll say you won on points. - Winner. Eddie Machen. Want to try, Ingemar? Come on. Take these. You know the rules, right? Feint with this, punch with this. Round one! Go, go, Ingemar Johansson! Stop! You've got a pretty good right. Take it a little cooler next time. Ingemar! And, you see, there I was on the aft deck. She had real warm boobs. Rio de Janeiro. Things were easy then, but tough, too. I don't envy your dad. Gunnar! I'll cut your throat if you don't stop playing that record! Put it on again from the beginning. Can't you go to bed now? You've got a game tomorrow, Ingemar. Ulla, we're building. How could you be so stupid as to build on someone else's lot? How could you be so stupid! Ulla dear, it's a summer house, a "fun" house. Fun, Ulla. Fun! Where were we? Ingemar! Get in there! Good, boys. Samba in the legs, just like we talked about. Don't fool with the ball when I'm talking. There's a game Tuesday, too. Why not come to my place and listen to the game? That's where I live. Come on. Hamrin jumps over a German's leg. He passes across to Simonsson, who misses it. And the ball is retrieved by the Germans. Look, I'm getting breasts. It's awful. Jesus, they're really swelling out. Can you see? I'll be kicked off the team. l know I will. It's not that bad. But look! You can see them! Can you see them? Can't you hide them somehow? How? - How fast do breasts grow? - I don't know. - There. - Can you see them? No. They're invisible now. If you get an elastic bandage, you can pull it tighter. Help me with it, promise? Sure. Come on, we can train! Watch it! Good! Sorry. There. Now she's protected against the radiation fields. Does she really have to go along? Sure. Otherwise we won't know if there's enough oxygen. Hurry up! The Russians might beat us! Put that harness on so you'll be weightless. - You ready up there? - Wait a second. - I want to go, too. - What did you say? Can't hear you. Speak on the phone. - You heard. I want to go, too. - Relax, Saga. You can go later. See you! - Okay. Prepare for liftoff! - Ready for liftoff. Ready to go. Bye, then. Good-bye, Earth. We're leaving the gravitational field. What happened? l don't know. Something's wrong. We're lost in space. Welcome back to Earth, boys. You can take off. You're free today. - Hi. - Hi. How are things? Fine. Who are you in love with today? You, of course. Me? But l'm an old lady, aren't I? No. You're pretty nice. Shall we have lunch? I'm just going to eat. See you later. Ingemar. What do you two talk about all the time? Love. Why? Karl-Evert is on the rope. Come on! Ladies and gentlemen! A death-defying feat. Can you name America's presidents? Washington, Adams, Monroe, Jackson, Fillmore, Lincoln, Johnson, Roosevelt, Taft, Wilson, Harding, Coolidge, Hoover, Truman, Eisenhower. He's crazy. He knows everything. Ask him something. No. Watch your balance, Karl-Evert! You okay? What are the name days in December? Oscar, Beata, Lydia, Barbro, Sven, Nicolaus, Agaton, Virginia, Anna, Malin - That's enough. Whatever you do, boys, keep up the tension. Then when everybody thought he was dead, he rattled them all off. Hello? You resting? Good. I think you should rest as much as you can. How's Sickan? Do you know if she likes it at the kennel? Hello? Mom? I haven't got any more coins. Hello? I should have told her everything, while she was still strong enough. She has just the right sense of humor. About Manne's green hair and the airplanes his grandfather builds. About Fransson on the roof, about all the crazy people here. She would have laughed. l know she would. - We'll have seven on this. - Seven blisters? Yes, it's a terrible shame, sitting here making blisters. Will you come with me after work? Good. It's important. I need you. But what am I supposed to do? Just come along. Make sure everything stays artistic, that's all. It's to be a sculpture of the Ur-mother, in the square. Of the Mother who gives life. Understand? The first Mother to give birth, raising her child towards heaven. She lifts her baby straight from the womb... into the sun. And it's this contact l want to show. Kind of like the source of love. You understand? You mean I'm supposed to be completely naked, sort of? Yes, of course. I think it can be good. Lift your right foot a little. And spread your legs a bit more. - Are you there, Ingemar? - Yeah. Raise your right leg a bit. Towards you. That's it. Listen. I've got a drawing. I think it's interesting. Good, then you understand what it's all about. But l want to compare it. It'll soon be finished, Ingemar. It's not like her. That's not Berit. It's not a portrait. It's a sculpture, you see. The lines are the important thing. The way the lines play. A little lower. Got it? - Thanks for your help. - What for? I didn't see anything. But it was all very artistic. You're a witness to that. How could l know that? How did she lie? About like this, I think. Naked? Completely naked? Didn't she have anything on? I see. How were her boobs? l don't know. I didn't look that close. No. You must have seen something. Not really. Yeah, I see. Well, I'll have to go along next time. He's not to be trusted. It's nothing. He doesn't bother her. He only thinks about the line play. Yeah, sure! Damn phony! Turn it off! "And suddenly he lifted both hands and pulled her to him. At the first kiss, his lost heart had found peace and home at last." That was good, wasn't it? Not bad. Ingemar, we'll be late! Come on. Why should I go in there? I'm only in the way. What's wrong with that? There we are. Too close together. A little further apart. Down a bit. I want to catch the movement as you kiss the baby. No, the baby has to be on the way down to you. That's it. Are you all right, Ingemar? Are you all right? My God, Ingemar. I didn't know you were so curious. Did you see anything? Yeah. Everything. lf you keep on like that, you'll never be confirmed, you know. If so, it was worth it. - No! - The others are changing. No, l don't want to. The round's over now, eh? - Will you help me? - Yeah. Great. Thanks. Nobody saw, did they? No, I don't think so. Too bad you're leaving. Too bad for the team. Come on! Last round, then. Come on! Come on! What are you doing? Box! Come here. Ingo's necking with Floyd Patterson. "And finally, a sexy, figure-hugging model, cut deep in the back..." Mom! - Hi. - Hi. Is Sickan here? Ingemar. Then my foot slipped. And l slipped down through the skylight. And l sort of flew down like an angel. I could have been killed, but I wasn't. I just got a few scratches on my back. And Berit came and - And then I... You listening? Yes, I'll just rest a bit. Yeah, well, after I fell down... After l fell down... Couldn't we read a bit instead? Have you got something to read? - How was she? - Fine. She just reads a bit too much. I think she gets tired from reading. All alone with two kids. Of course she gets tired. It was nice for your mom to get rid of you two for a while. Right? In fact, l've been kind of lucky. I mean, compared to others. You have to compare. So you can get a little distance from things. Like Laika. She really must have seen things in perspective. lt's important to keep a certain distance. l think about that guy who tried to set a world record for jumping over buses with a motorcycle. He lined up 31 buses. If he'd left it at 30, maybe he would have survived. Move it, for God's sake! What the hell are you standing there for? Move it, for God's sake! Just think, missing the world record by one bus. The last one. He just touched it with his back wheel. Go away! Goddamn kids! - But she's part of the family, too. - We can't take care of any dogs. - But I want to know where she is. - Come now. In here. Was it good? But he seems completely nuts. You have to say "no" sometimes. Why should you always be the one to look after him? Tell me that. Who else is there? - He's got a father, hasn't he? - He's halfway around the world. Make him come home, then, so he can take care of his kid. But he can't come home today - now! Shall we throw them out on the streets? I want to buy some grapes. I forgot to buy grapes. We don't have time for that now. Can't we go to the shop downstairs? Stop it. They don't have grapes. Sit down here for a moment. You can take off your jackets. Take off your jacket. What the hell? Why don't you take it off? Get yourself together, for God's sake! Goddamn crybaby. Can't you hold anything in? Get it together! Okay. lngemar first. What a nice jacket you've got. Is it nylon? Is it warm? It's a good thing to have reflector bands. Smart to buy a jacket with reflectors. Your mother should rest a bit now. Mom, what would you like for Christmas? I don't know. You can have whatever you like. I've got money. Whatever I like. You can think of something. You know what I want. You know. - I know. I know exactly. - Erik! - Hi. - Hi. We can share. Half each. Is that okay? Have you seen those new toasters where the bread jumps up by itself? Don't you think that's what she wants? Just forget toasters. I'll buy it myself, then. I'll buy it myself, then, you cheap bastard. She's going to die. Don't you understand? You're lying! That seems good. You mean one of these? No, not that. - Why not? - No, I don't like it. Why not? No, it'll just make her nervous. But you have to watch that one all the time. Remember, she's sick. Look at this one. If you move this down... the slice of bread turns over by itself. Hi. Ingemar, l'd like to talk to you. Alone. I think about that guy who cut across the field in the sports arena. He got a javelin right through his chest. Right through the chest. He must have been very surprised. We'll probably play Algutsboda first. I'll keep you at right-forward in the first matches, and then move you to center and bring Saga back. l've had an awful season. I never let in so many goals in my life. Practically every ball went in. I don't know what's wrong with me. There's been talk about Leif, the bus driver, replacing me as goalie. He can't stop one ball. A pigeon-toed guy can't play goalie. And you know that artist? He's become world-famous. It's true. He's had an exhibition of nude ladies in America. They're Greeks. They rent the whole bottom floor. They're going to take a couple of rooms up here in our place too. The house belongs to the glassworks, so we can't do much about it. We can work on that all summer. Right? What did Mr. Arvidsson die of? Well, he was old. Finally, he couldn't eat. Shall we play it again? Ingemar? Bare boobs. Where's Mrs. Arvidsson? She moved. She lives by the school now. Oh, yeah. I have to tell you. With those Greeks here, it's a bit crowded. So l thought you could live with her - Mrs. Arvidsson. She's alone now, so you can keep each other company. You'll just sleep there, of course. You'll be eating here. And you can be here in the evenings. You know, we'll be together all day long. Ingemar! Here. - Have you seen Ingemar? - No. You feel warmer now? You should see the sculpture. lt'll be raised on Kalmar's main square. A lot of things will be rising up there. Ingemar. Take it easy. Take it easy now, Ingemar. I want to bring Sickan here. Sickan? Good, Ingemar. She'll be happy. - Will you phone Mr. Sandberg? - Sure. Maybe Sickan can live in the summer house. Sleep well, Ingemar. See you tomorrow. - Bye. - Bye. At least my husband's bed can be used right away. Good. But it was heavy to move. Four men from the glassworks helped me move. It was a good thing, too, since I had to move right away. What a mess things are here. It's good to have some company. You and I will have to stick together, since things are the way they are. Life is hard sometimes. It's not easy to be left alone. lt's strange how I can't stop thinking about Laika. People shouldn't think so much. "Time heals all wounds," Mrs. Arvidsson says. Mrs. Arvidsson says some wise things. You have to try to forget. Ingemar. Hi. We're in the same class. Hello. Geez, I almost forgot. Where's Ingemar? Hi, Saga. We bought a TV. Come on up and watch. Double or Nothing is on. It starts in five minutes, so hurry up. Come on. Come on. You can come up and watch if you like. Now you'll see, Mother. You can win 1 0,000. A lot of money. Go on in. Come in. Cookie? There could be something wrong with the airwaves. There he is. Ulla, what's his name? They sit in soundproof cages. I'm going to get my dog here. When? I don't know. As soon as possible. She's at a kennel. Still? Uncle, did you phone about Sickan? - Did you phone about Sickan? - No, l didn't have time yet. But you have to do it. Sure, sure. There's the judge. When are you going to phone? Could there be a loose connection? - I've got a present for you. - Yeah? What is it? You'll see. You can have them. I've got new ones. Thanks. You want to try them out? Good! Come on. No, I'm pooped. Let's rest a bit. - How do they feel? - All right. I've grown. I don't think we can cover them up anymore. This will be the end of soccer for me. - You can still play. That's nothing. - But look for yourself. Look! Can't you see? You've grown, too, right? Have you? Do you want to feel them? No, thanks. Come on. Round three! Goddamn coward. Have you grown? I want to see! - Never! Show me! Are you crazy? I showed you. What's the matter? You need tweezers to take it out? Or have you pissed yourself? That's it, you've pissed yourself. Keep them. Come on, Fransson. It's not worth it. - Knock it off! - Come on, Fransson. "Can you come to my party on Saturday?" Ingemar! We don't throw paper notes about in this class. Ingemar. Hi. You want to see my room? How nice it feels. I thought it would be more stubbly. Is he an idol of yours? What the hell are you doing? Are you crazy? Let him go! Ingemar, come on. - Get out of here. Let go of me! - Stop it. I said let go. What the hell are you doing? Let go! You're nuts! Do you want to fight? Shut up. Round one. Ingemar Johansson versus Floyd Patterson. Just box! Box, for God's sake. Not under the belt. That's not where the belt is. - Hit her belt! - Saga, what's under your belt? Her bombs may explode. End of the round. What are you supposed to be? Your dog? It's dead. Don't you know that? Round two. Ingemar. Keep up the tension, you bastards. It's important to compare. Just think about a dog like Laika. They must have known from the start they'd never get her down again. They knew she'd die. They just killed her. Anybody there? Is that you, Ingemar? Don't be so childish. Open the door. Open the door now. Open the door, Ingemar. Ulla. You can sleep here, then. I'll leave some hot chocolate and a blanket and breakfast for tomorrow. Good night. You knew it all along, right? Ingemar, l couldn't tell you. I wanted to tell her. What? I didn't kill her. Say I didn't kill her. No, no, it wasn't you. Why didn't you want me? Mom. Why didn't you want me? Fransson has climbed down, Ingemar. He's going for a swim. Come on and see. Fransson climbed down! He's going swimming! Shall we go and watch Fransson swim? Go away, I said. Get out, Fransson. The roof's leaking. I won't come out until you go away. Did you put out a fishing line? - Where did he go? - He sank. Christ! Help him! Fransson! Look! There he is! Go away, I said. Can't you leave me in peace? Fransson, come on out. Leave me alone! I was trying to get away, and you pulled me out. - You have to warm up now. - Be sensible. I don't want to be sensible. I want to be left in peace. We thought you'd drowned. Just leave me alone. - You're frozen. - Let me be. You need a blanket. You have to get warm. - Where are you going to hear the match? - I don't know. - Are you ready up there? - No, wait. You can come to my place. Okay, come on, then. Good-bye! Look, that's Berit. Wasn't that supposed to be put up in Kalmar? They didn't want it. It was too naked for them. Okay, Grandpa. Let's go! The fight's starting! And Ingemar blocks a left from Floyd and counters with a right. Floyd staggers. He's down! Did he knock him down? Be quiet! He's out. It has to be a knockout. He's up again, but it's all over. The referee stops the match. We won! Hurrah for Sweden! Ingemar didn't let us down. It's wonderful that all of you at home can hear this. Can you say hello to everybody rooting for you back home? l want to say hello to everybody listening at home. This is a great moment, and I hope you all feel the same. Good-bye. |
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