Well, thats exactly
what we were looking for...
the right atmosphere at the right price.
There we are now, the Sherwood sisters...
one would-be writer
and one would-be actress...
in search of fame, fortune,
and a for rent sign on Barrow Street.
The one in red, thats me.
And the beautiful blond,
thats my sister Eileen.
Here we are.
Youre standing on the brink of disaster.
Take my advice. Forget about it.
- Forget what?
- The vacancy.
You wouldnt care for the apartment.
- Why not?
- Termites.
- Termites?
- This big.
- Believe me.
- Ruth.
An exterminator went in there last week
and he got the beating of his life.
However, if you young ladies are seeking
a sanctuary in this troubled world...
seek no more.
I will show you the best value
in Greenwich Village.
- Come along with me.
- Wait a minute. Who are you?
Allow me to introduce myself.
Im Appopolous.
Papa Appopolous
to my children on Barrow Street.
How do you do?
I am Eileen Sherwood
and this is my sister, Ruth.
- Of the Ohio Sherwoods.
- Of course.
Now, where is this sanctuary?
Due south.
Here we are, darlings.
The pride of Barrow Street,
the Appopolous Arms.
You mean you...
- Is the apartment very high up?
- Up?
Down.
Youll be crazy about it.
Here we are, darlings, all righty.
Your luggage, please. Your luggage. Please.
Isnt this exactly
what youve been dreaming about?
My dear young ladies, this is the best value
you can get for your money in New York.
Architecture, neighbourhood.
Thank you, llI have it fixed.
- It isnt too bad, Ruth.
- Too bad?
Let me point out
a few salient features of this studio.
A: It is summer.
B: It is exactly 30 degrees cooler down here.
Cooler? Lts musty enough to hang venison.
Note the exquisite imitation fireplace...
the magnificent day beds.
And look here, there is even a piano.
Id never have known without an autopsy.
And here is a model kitchenette...
complete in every detail.
And here is a luxurious bathroom.
What fiend designed this?
In those two rooms, you wont entertain.
- It does look clean, Ruth.
- Yeah.
Whats that?
One of your neighbours.
Perhaps a future Lily Pons or Helen Traubel.
Come, let me show you the garden.
Its beautiful in the summer.
- A garden.
- Real outdoor living.
- How are you, Papa?
- Very busy, Mr. OConnor.
You see, youre surrounded
by fellow artists like yourself.
- It is colourful, isnt it, Ruth?
- Lf you like loud colours.
- How much is this apartment?
- Only $65.
- $65? For this concrete catacomb?
- Ill even wallpaper the kitchen.
It is cheaper than anything else
weve looked at.
As an added inducement,
llI tell you what llI do.
Take the place for a month,
then, if youre still not satisfied...
Ill give you back your first months rent.
- I dont see what we can lose. Do you?
- Legally, youve got me where you want me.
I gave you my word
in front of two witnesses.
Three, including me.
Please, I just cant look at any more places.
- Well...
- Then its all settled.
- The rest of your luggage is at the station?
- Yes.
You girls make yourself at home.
Ill send for it.
Thank you.
You have the luggage checks, dont you?
- Yeah.
- And the...
Just a minute.
$20, 40, 50, 60.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
Thank you.
Thank you, my children.
Thank you very much.
From now on, you can call me Papa.
Ill have it fixed in the morning. Good luck.
Be it ever so humble,
theres no place like home.
Mr. Appopolous!
- Wheres that doorknob?
- Here it is.
Mr. Appopolous, wait just a minute.
- It was terrible.
- Yes?
- What was that?
- What was what?
- That noise.
- The whole room shook.
It goes to show you how you get used to it.
- I didnt even notice it.
- Get used to it?
- It happens all the time?
- You wont even be conscious of it.
A little blasting. The new subway.
- Theyre blasting right under our feet?
- What are you so worried about?
Those engineers know
how much dynamite to use.
Does it happen all the time?
No. They stop at midnight,
and they dont start again until...
6:00 in the morning.
- 6:00.
- How would you like to step outside?
- What are you getting so hysterical about?
- Im not getting hysterical yet.
- All we want is our money back.
- Yes.
I told you Id give back your money
and I will...
if, at the end of the month,
youre still dissatisfied.
Goodnight, darlings.
What are we going to do?
Were gonna do 30 days.
You know, we ought to have
that phone connected in the morning...
so we can start calling up for jobs.
You dont call up for jobs,
you go out and look for them.
I hope we dont have to look too long.
Incidentally, that money from Dad
is the last were gonna take from him.
- After that, its beg, borrow, steal, or starve.
- Of course.
Maybe we shouldnt have come
to New York just yet, huh, Ruth?
Dont tell me
youre getting homesick already?
Maybe a little.
I wonder what Billy Hunniger
is doing tonight.
Hes probably at the country club dance
with Annie Wilkerson.
- He can have her.
- Dont you think he knows that?
Of course, those things never bothered you.
Men never meant very much in your life.
Not after they got a load of you, they didnt.
Thats the trouble with you.
Youve got a complex or something.
Youre a lot more attractive
than you think you are.
Youre close.
Im a lot more attractive than men think I am.
Remember what Dad said.
There are eight million people in New York,
and half of them are men.
One of them is bound to be
the right boy for you.
Yeah, and I wonder
where the poor devil is tonight.
One, two...
- Im gonna take a shower.
- Okay.
Five, six, seven.
One, two...
The heck with it. Let it spread.
When I started shedding my avoirdupois
I thought
it would get me somewhere with the boys
I went to a gym and got myself slim
I went on long hikes, I wore out three bikes
And from those masseurs
What beatings I took
Yet nobody said
How lovely you look
- Whatd you say, Ruth?
- I said, Let it spread.
What good
does it do me to slenderise?
Who needs this reducing routine?
Slender or stout
I am a washout
As soon as they see Eileen
I long for a young man with tender eyes
But my competitions too keen
My name is mud
Im a real dud
As soon as they see Eileen
But shes an angel
As well as a cutie
Her kind of beauty is rare
Still I always have found
That when she is around
Nobody knows that Im there
I wish I could dream
And philosophise
With someone who knows what I mean
But what is the use?
Im a gone goose
As soon as they see Eileen
Im over 20 with plenty of knowledge
I earned my college degree
But Im frankly annoyed
Tell me, Doctor Freud
What is the matter with me?
Hi.
Mommy!
Some night
Maybe Ill see the starry skies
With someone who isnt too green
But with all my desire, Im a flat tyre
I have the appeal
Of a fifth wheel
Im just out of luck
Im a dead duck
As soon as they see
Eileen
- Ruth?
- Yeah?
Ruth, where are you?
What are you doing out there?
Just getting a breath of fresh air,
frightening little children.
- What?
- Nothing.
I was hoping wed get
whats-his-name to fix that shower.
- It just dribbles.
- Yeah, I noticed.
- Its as hot outside as it is in here.
- Yeah. Dont forget to lock the door.
Yeah.
Im sorry.
I didnt think
you girls would go to bed this early.
- Thats beside the point. Who are you?
- I live upstairs. My names Ted Loomis.
- You can just call me Wreck.
- Wreck?
Thats what they used to call me
at Georgia Tech.
Id have made all-American,
only I was expelled.
Thats very interesting.
But dont you think
its about time you were rambling along?
Yeah. If theres anything I can do
for you girls, you just whistle.
Well do that.
By the way, I was just wondering,
are you girls going to be home tomorrow?
- No. Well be out looking for work.
- Thats great.
I always do the laundry down here
on Thursday.
Laundry?
Helens a switchboard operator.
She works nights.
I dont like to disturb her during the day.
- Helen?
- Yeah.
Were engaged.
I dont want you to get the wrong idea.
Its just that we cant afford to get married...
and we cant afford two apartments.
Im out of work right now.
So when Helens at work, I sleep...
and then when she sleeps,
I do the housework.
We dont see much of each other,
so we get along just great.
I can see you girls still think
thats a little strange?
- Only because were from Ohio.
- Yeah. I guess that would make a difference.
- Violet was from Brooklyn.
- Whos Violet?
She had this studio
before they started blasting for the subway.
- It was bad for business.
- Business?
Yeah. She read palms or something.
Thanks a million about the laundry.
Ill see you tomorrow. Goodnight.
What was that all about?
I dont know.
- But he seemed very nice.
- He would. Hes a man.
Everythings so convenient in this dungeon.
- Oh, boy.
- I know what you mean.
I could swear I just put out the lights.
Theres a street lamp
shining right in the window.
Well have to pull the curtains.
Were practically sleeping in the street.
Yeah, we sure cant close the windows.
Wed suffocate.
Yeah.
- Whats the matter?
- This bed.
They are kind of hard, arent they?
Hard? We could do better at the morgue.
Lets go to sleep.
Maybe we can have
a nice, pleasant nightmare.
- We got a big day ahead of us tomorrow.
- Thats right.
- Good night, honey.
- Good night.
What was that?
Now what?
- Thats one way to keep cool.
- Ruth, youre drenched.
Here, let me get you a towel.
Get away from there.
- Pete, look. Girls.
- Go away! You heard me.
- Beat it, you drunken goons!
- Now, please, madam.
All we were doing was singing.
Since when is it a crime to sing?
Youre certainly not
getting into the spirit of things, madam.
Im not in the mood
and stop calling me madam!
- Isnt she lovely, Pete?
- She certainly is.
You get away from there.
Now, go on, go away.
Break it up!
- I was saying good night...
- Good night, ladies.
You heard them. Out.
Good night, ladies.
- Thank you very much, Officer.
- Yes. Were so glad you came by.
- Ill bet you are.
- There arent any shades on the window...
And theres a light
shining through the window.
- Could you do something about that?
- Sure, llI put a shade on it.
- You kids new in the neighbourhood?
- We just moved in this afternoon.
If youre smart, youll move out tomorrow.
I dont go for this kind of stuff on my beat.
- What did he mean by that?
- Evidently, this studio has a bad reputation.
Violet must have been reading palms
without a licence.
- I dont think I can take 30 days of this.
- Everythings gonna be all right.
- Its all my fault. If I hadnt of insisted on...
- It isnt your fault.
...staying here, we couldve gone to a hotel...
- Good morning, Wreck. Im home.
- Hi, baby. You have a hard night?
Yeah, it was pretty busy.
Think llI go to bed now.
I made you something to eat.
Its in the kitchen.
- Thanks, honey.
- You have a good days sleep.
- All righty. See you later.
- Okay.
Here, let me give you a hand.
Thanks, Wreck.
By the way, heres the grocery list.
Are you sure you dont mind?
No, of course not.
I got to go to the store anyway.
Heres the money.
I think that ought to be enough.
In case it isnt, take off the cookies
and the soft drinks.
Were on an awfully tight budget.
I know what you mean.
Since Im out of work...
Helen makes me
watch the pennies pretty close.
- What kind of work you out of?
- I play pro football during the season.
- What do you do the rest of the year?
- I usually wrestle, but I got suspended.
- Why?
- Overacting.
Really.
How about you girls?
You got any connections here in town?
Yeah. I have a letter of introduction
to the editor of Manhatter magazine.
- Thats good. How about Eileen?
- Eileen doesnt need a letter.
Im all ready. Do I look all right?
- I cant remember when you didnt.
- You look beautiful.
Any producer
that wouldnt hire you is a girl.
Thanks, Wreck. I dont know
where to go or how to get started.
Most of the actors around here
read Variety to see whats going on.
If were gonna do it, lets do it.
- Yeah.
- Which way to the subway?
Lts right up the... Come on, llI show you.
Its right up at this corner.
Remember, you take the uptown train.
- This corner?
- Thats right.
- Good luck, you guys.
- Bye.
Good morning, darlings.
Did you have a good nights sleep?
Sure. For a place with a bad location
and no neon sign...
- we did a whale of a business.
- Theres no hot water in the shower.
Thats why you look so cool and refreshed.
- I assume youre off to seek employment?
- Yes. I guess we better get started.
Youth. You have this great metropolis...
grovelling at your feet
like a passionate lover.
Thats what I thought when I left Ohio,
but now Im scared.
- Youre not alone, honey.
- Pish-tosh!
There are only two things you need
in this troubled world to succeed.
A: Confidence. B: Patience.
Take me, for example.
Im sure that Im a genius
So I havent any fears
I never get discouraged and downhearted
I havent sold a painting
And Ive tried for 20 years
Hes just a little slow getting started
Im great, but no one knows it
No one knows it but me
Im great
And yet I just cant get the critics to agree
My works are masterpieces
Like Picassos and Matisses
Youre certainly an artist
When it comes to drawing leases
Im just as great as he is
But they call me the worst
But when I lose a match
Its cause I havent been rehearsed
You mean that youre a genius
In your own peculiar way
Youre great, but no one knows it
But they will someday
You see, thats our secret.
Youve got to have confidence in yourself.
Miss Sherwood, you could be
a female Shakespeare.
- Me?
- Sure you could.
Eileen, you could show
these other actresses...
theyre not even on the second team.
You can throw a hammerlock
around this whole doggone town.
- I could?
- You could. If you only believe in yourself.
Miss Sherwood,
what do you think of yourself?
- I guess Im all right.
- No, Eileen. Ruth.
What do you think of yourself?
No. No matter what anybody says,
youve got to keep your head up high...
and say, Im great. Say it!
Im great
No.
Youve got to shout it out!
So the whole city can hear you.
From the Bronx to the Battery.
Shout!
Im great, but no one knows it
No one knows it
Thats much better.
So far
Thats fine.
But theyll get wise
And realise how wonderful you are
The public may acclaim us
Well be popular and famous
And anyone that pans us
Will be called an ignoramus
Were great, but no one knows it
But who cares about them
Can we be sure?
Theyll say that youre the crme de la crme
Well, I dont know what that means
But I agree with what you say
Were great, but no one knows it
But they will someday
Were great, but no one knows it
No one knows it so far
But theyll get wise
And realise how talented we are
The public will acclaim us
Well be popular and famous
And anyone who pans us
Will be called an ignoramus
Were great, but no one knows it
No one knows it, not yet
But they will even pay us
To endorse a cigarette
As we go by, theyll point us out
And even shout hurray!
Hurray! Were great, but no one knows it
But they will someday
- Wont you sit down?
- Thank you.
Thank...
Thank you. Thank you very much.
- Excuse me.
- Yes?
My name is Eileen Sherwood.
I read in Variety
that Mr. Wallace is casting a new show.
- Would it be possible for me to see...
- Im sorry...
but Mr. Wallace is only seeing people
by appointment.
- Do you think I could make an appointment?
- Im sorry. Thats impossible.
- You can send in the next.
- Thank you anyway.
- Carolyn Christy.
- Im sorry.
- Wont you step in now, please?
- Mr. Wallace, she isnt on the list.
Dont be so technical, Miss Stevenson.
Was America on Columbus map?
I would like to see Mr. Robert Baker, please.
Mr. Baker cant see anyone.
Hes just getting ready
to leave on his vacation.
On his vacation?
Cant I see him for just a minute?
Some of my stories were submitted to him...
by Mr. Stover of the Columbus Courier.
- I have a letter of introduction.
- Im sorry.
If you leave the letter
and your telephone number...
hell get in touch with you when he returns.
The phones not connected yet,
but llI leave the address.
There.
Thank you very much.
Keep smiling.
Now here are your tickets, Mr. Baker.
Your bags are in the taxi,
and your train leaves in 20 minutes.
- Good.
- Bye, Mr. Baker.
No tears, Judy.
George, I left the bar open. Be my guest.
- Thank you.
- Youre getting taller.
Dont you worry about a thing.
Have a wonderful time.
- Catch a lot of fish.
- I will.
- Have fun, Mr. Baker.
- I was hoping youd say that.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.
- Mr. Baker...
- Goodbye, dear.
- Im terribly sorry. I dont know you, do I?
- Dont mention it, Mr. Baker.
- Im Ruth Sherwood.
- It was nice kissing you.
- Mr. Baker, I know youre in a hurry.
- Yes, Im afraid I have to catch a train.
Excuse me, Jerry,
would you make it non-stop for me?
I guess you dont remember.
Im Ruth Sherwood.
- Yes.
- Bill Stover, of the Columbus Courier...
- he sent you some of my stories.
- Good. Yeah, Bill. How is old Bill?
- We were roommates in college.
- He told me.
- Hes fine.
- Good.
- Did you have a chance to read my stories?
- Your stories. Yes. Oh, yeah.
Yes, I thought youd be more of...
- the spinster type, sort of.
- Spinster?
Those love stories of yours
are pretty depressing.
What I mean is, all romance doesnt end
in epic tragedy necessarily.
The boy running off
and joining the Foreign Legion...
the girl setting fire to her hope chest.
Its the funniest thing...
I usually can figure out what a person is like
from the way they write.
But like you, you just dont seem to me
like a confirmed cynic.
We cynical spinsters
can be pretty deceptive sometimes.
Thank you, Jerry.
I didnt mean to offend you.
Offend me? Just because you say
I write like a frustrated old maid?
Id love to... Excuse me, go ahead.
Id love to discuss this thing
further with you, but I cant, you see.
And just to keep the record straight,
I didnt call you frustrated.
Thank you.
Look, dont get discouraged.
I think you write very well.
- Try writing something youre familiar with.
- With which Im familiar.
It was nice meeting you, Miss...
- Sherwood.
- Sherwood. Yes, of course.
Of course.
Grand Central.
- Good afternoon.
- Hello.
- Can I take your order?
- Yes. Id like a Coke, please.
- Its warm, isnt it?
- Awful.
Want some lime in this?
Lts good in the hot weather.
All right.
- Saw you in here this morning.
- You did?
- You havent been in before, have you?
- Thank you.
- No, I just got in town yesterday.
- You an actress?
No. Id like to be.
But I dont think its going to be very easy.
Ive already seen
three producers this morning.
Dont tell me they werent interested?
They were interested all right,
but not in my acting.
Yes, I see what you mean.
Maybe I could help you get started.
I dont know if you know it or not...
but this place is a real kind of hangout
for people in show business.
- Really?
- Sure.
If I keep my ears open,
I could pick up a lot of inside information...
about auditions and that kind of stuff.
- That would be just wonderful.
- I got it.
Why dont you come in here every day?
Say, for lunch. And llI keep you posted.
Foods excellent.
Every day we have a special.
- Thats certainly very nice of you, Mr...
- Lippencott. Frank Lippencott.
- Fountain manager.
- How do you do? Lm Eileen Sherwood.
I guess llI be seeing you
for lunch tomorrow, Mr. Lippencott.
- Do I pay here?
- Dont worry about it.
- Courtesy of the management.
- Thank you very much.
Remember now. Dont get discouraged.
Ill try not to. Thank you.
Im great, but no one knows it
No one knows it so far
Theyll get wise
And realise how talented we are
As we go by, theyll point us out
And even shout hurray
Well?
Were great
And no one knows it, but they will
Someday
- Good morning, Mr. Newbetter.
- Sorry.
The last few weeks,
I feel like Im living in my own little world.
Sending all these stories to myself.
I think llI call the next one Boomerang.
Cheer up, maybe the next one
wont come back.
Yeah, llI leave off the return address.
- Bad news?
- Not if you like to suffer.
Dont you worry.
Ive got a feeling that this is my lucky day.
If I knock on enough doors...
some producer has to let me
show him what I can do.
- Anything you want while Im uptown?
- Yeah.
- You can cash the last of the Mohicans.
- The last?
When this is gone, weve had it, honey.
$20 and two return tickets
to Columbus, Ohio.
Were not gonna use those tickets.
You just wait. The first thing you know,
youll sell a story...
Ill get a job and we can move out
of this terrible place.
You know, its starting again.
- What?
- The kitchen wall.
It keeps perspiring or something.
It could break through and flood the place.
I think we should talk to Mr. Appopolous.
Talk to him?
Lve been screaming at him for two weeks.
Could you write a letter of protest to the
Better Business Bureau, or something?
Sure I could, but anything Id write,
theyd just send back.
Goodbye. Keep your fingers crossed.
Maybe thats what is wrong with my stories.
Ive been typing with my fingers crossed.
- Whats for dinner?
- The usual, meatballs and spaghetti.
Do you think we could get something
kind of interesting for dessert?
I invited Frank Lippencott.
You know, its wonderful the way
you manage with only one maid.
Its the least we can do.
He hasnt let me pay for one single
lunch cheque since Ive been going in there.
I have a feeling that before long...
Walgreens fountain will be
under new management.
- Scat.
- Bye.
Good luck.
Where you been, Chick?
Havent seen you around in a while.
Ive been up to Atlantic City,
covering the Miss America contest.
Frank, old boy, our countrys never been
in such good shape.
- Whats new with you?
- Nothing.
Invented any new sundaes lately?
- Eileen. Hiya.
- Hi.
I tried to call you at the house,
but your sister said youd already left.
- I have good news for you.
- Really? What?
I heard about an audition.
A rehearsal pianist who comes in here,
he told me about it.
- When is it? Where do I have to go?
- Its in a theatre on 42nd Street.
The piano players name is Charlie
and he said...
that if you come over, hell fix it up.
Thats wonderful.
I dont know how to thank...
Pardon me,
I couldnt help but overhear, Miss...
This is Eileen Sherwood. Eileen, Mr. Clark.
Thats right. Chick Clark.
- Reporter at large, New York Daily News.
- How do you do?
You see,
Im well-known around show business...
and the producer
holding that audition is a buddy of mine.
- Thanks, Chick, but Ive already set it up.
- But with a rehearsal pianist.
Youre gonna let this lovely little girl walk in
with that kind of introduction, are you?
Thats certainly very considerate of you,
Mr. Clark.
Dont be silly. Life wouldnt be worthwhile
if we couldnt help others.
Ill just put in a call to my friend
and fix it up.
- Thank you.
- Be right back.
Now, isnt that nice?
Eileen, I wish you wouldnt get
too friendly with him.
Why?
Hes a pretty smooth operator.
- Frank, hes just trying to help.
- But hes not an agent. Hes a reporter.
Id like him to meet Ruth.
She used to be a reporter, too,
on the Columbus Courier.
Maybe he could introduce her
to his editor or something, huh?
Yeah.
Well, its all set.
- Youll have to hurry. Ill walk you over.
- Okay. Bye, Frank.
Wait a minute. Ill come along, too.
- Good.
- Thats not at all necessary.
Im on my lunch hour
in five minutes, anyway.
- Take over, will you, Fred?
- Sure, Frank.
Dont you need
some kind of clothes to dance in?
Lve got some rehearsal shorts
right underneath here.
- I always come prepared.
- Yeah...
- you sure do.
- Well?
Lets go.
I dont know how to thank you,
going to so much trouble.
- After all, you hardly know me.
- Thats easily taken care of.
- How about tonight?
- I couldnt. Franks coming to dinner.
This is it.
Why dont you come to dinner, too?
Lts only spaghetti and meatballs...
but Id really like to have you
meet my sister.
I just love spaghetti and meatballs.
- Good. About 7:00?
- Right.
- Well, here we are.
- Gosh, Im nervous.
You dont have to be.
Youre gonna be great.
Sure you are. You wait here, Lippencott,
while I introduce her to the boss.
Dont forget to say hello
to the piano player. Charlie?
Look, why dont you both wait for me here?
If the other girls know Ive got any pull,
it might be embarrassing. Okay?
- Okay, if thats the way you want it.
- Well wait for you. Good luck.
- Thank you.
- Eileen.
Dont forget to smile.
Eileen.
- What happened?
- Did you get the job?
Did I get...
They wanted to know if I stripped!
- What?
- Thats a burlesque theatre.
- No.
- I didnt even get a chance to audition.
He looked at me with those beady eyes...
Ive never been so embarrassed.
You two ought to be ashamed,
sending me to a place like that!
- But I didnt know about it.
- I didnt know anything about it.
Miss Blyth, these will be fine.
Have five copies sent up to Mr. Parker.
Excuse me, Mr. Baker wants to see me.
- Your name?
- Ruth Sherwood.
His secretary called
and said he wanted me to come right over.
- Have you any idea of what he wants?
- Not the vaguest.
Mr. Baker seldom confides in me.
Miss Wilt, Miss Sherwood.
- Yes?
- Miss Sherwood is here.
- Send her in, please.
- Yes, sir.
Hi. That thing look straight to you?
- A little higher on the left, I think.
- Little higher on the left.
- Hows that?
- Thats better.
All righty. Wont you sit down?
- Thank you.
- Wait a minute.
There you are. You know, in a years time,
I read an awful lot of stories.
Id say about one in 1,000 has any merit.
About one in every 5,000 writers
makes the grade.
Lately, I would bet it was one in a million.
I told you that day in the elevator
that I thought you had talent.
I still do. There we are.
You have it when you write about something
youve had some experience with.
With which youve had some experience.
- Another qualification...
- No, thank you.
Another qualification is perseverance,
and that youve certainly got.
Even in the face of those
atrocious love stories, you wouldnt give up.
Did you really kill all these animals,
or just insult them to death?
Will you please let me finish
before you start swinging at me?
This story of yours,
My Sister Eileen, I think thats wonderful.
- You do?
- I do.
I havent enjoyed reading anything so much
in a long time. Thats charming.
Its funny. Its also very real.
Now do you get my point?
Obviously, you were writing about people
and incidents that you were familiar...
With which...
That you had observed firsthand.
What makes you so sure?
Lts my business, Miss Sherwood.
Let me prove my point.
First, you write three phoney love stories.
All of a sudden, you turn around, start
writing about your beautiful sister, Eileen...
that has a dozen men running after her...
and shes got them dangling like puppets
on the end of a string...
wrapped around her little finger.
Thats delightful.
But by comparison, those three love stories,
theyre completely unbelievable.
- They are?
- They are.
Now, wheres the answer?
Suppose I told you
I dont even have a sister?
All right, then you dont have a sister...
then shes a good friend of yours.
Whoever she is, shes real.
I bet you my bottom buck
shes somebody you know pretty well.
Matter of fact, Id like to know her myself.
She sounds like quite a girl.
Who is she?
I hate to admit it, Mr. Baker...
but youre a very discerning man.
It just happens that Eileen
and the inexperienced...
frustrated, spinsterish Ruth Sherwood...
are one and the same.
You mean... You tell me that this...
All those experiences? You?
All those men?
I guess the single girls in Columbus
were happy to see you leave.
It wasnt as bad as all that.
- I coloured the stories a little.
- Naturally.
- You know, literary licence.
- Yeah...
What about that army pilot...
that flew all the way from Nome, Alaska
to bring you a birthday present?
Danny Marshall.
He always was impulsive.
Well, no wonder they voted you
the girl most likely to marry a millionaire.
Every girl gets voted the most likely
to do something or other, doesnt she?
Yeah. How come you never did get married?
I have to think of my career.
Miss Sherwood, would you consider
having dinner with me tonight?
Lm sorry. Id love to...
but I have a previous engagement.
Thats too bad. Couldnt you break it?
I could sure break mine.
- No, I couldnt. Hed be terribly upset.
- Im sure he would.
- The least I could do is drive you home.
- No, Id rather you wouldnt.
Frank. He said he might be early
and it might be embarrassing.
- Hes terribly jealous.
- I just said I was gonna drive you home.
- You dont have to ask me up.
- Its not up, its down.
Thank you very much anyway, Mr. Baker.
Perhaps some other time.
It was nice seeing you. Ill get a hold of you
about that story of yours.
Yes.
- Thank you very much, Mr. Baker.
- Just call me Bob.
Im sorry, honey.
Thats all right, Helen, baby.
- Did you ask the girls yet?
- Not yet.
I sure wish you would ask them.
After all, shes your mother.
All right, already, well ask them together.
Come on.
Ruth, where have you been?
I was so worried about you.
- I wish youd left me a note or something.
- Im sorry. I was in such a rush.
- I got a call from Mr. Baker.
- You did? What happened?
- He liked one of my stories.
- Really? How wonderful!
He didnt say hed publish it.
He just said liked it.
But thats a start. Did he like you?
- He invited me to dinner.
- And what did you say?
- I didnt accept.
- Why not?
Hes a big bore, hes fat,
and hes getting bald.
You wouldnt like him, either.
What about you? Your drugstore friend
called about an audition or something.
I know. I went. Ruth, it was just terrible.
I was furious at Frank and Chick.
- I didnt know...
- Wait. Frank and who?
Chick. Hes a boy I met at the drugstore.
In fact, I invited him for dinner.
- Im still a little mad at him, but...
- Now wait a minute...
- Who is it?
- Me and Helen.
Come in.
- Hi, Helen.
- Hi.
Hi, Wreck.
Yeah?
This is a little embarrassing, but...
You see, the Wreck and I have a problem.
Wed be glad to help if we can.
Whats the matter?
Helen got a letter from her old lady.
Shes coming here for a visit.
- How nice.
- Its not nice at all.
She doesnt know
Im sharing my apartment with a man.
But its a perfectly innocent arrangement.
Yeah, but Ma doesnt know
from innocent arrangements.
So we were thinking...
maybe you girls wouldnt mind
putting me up in the kitchen?
- Yeah.
- In the kitchen?
Theres not enough room out there
to put up preserves.
He wouldnt be any trouble, really.
And it would only be for a couple of days.
And hes real handy.
- He could clean up and do the dishes and...
- But no sewing. Thats womans work.
I guess we could put him up
for a couple of days.
Now, wait a minute.
- Thanks, Eileen.
- Thanks a lot.
I just happen to have
a few of my things out here.
Boy, you dont know what a help this is.
Gee, thanks, Ruth.
Ill bring my toothbrush tomorrow.
Something tells me you werent quite ready
to leave Ohio.
But, Ruth, theyre in love.
And besides, well feel a lot safer
having a man in the house.
If you had your way, wed live at the YMCA.
Somethings burning.
What about this man you invited to dinner?
Yes. His name is Chick Clark,
and hes a reporter on The Daily News...
and hes very attractive.
Honey, if its all the same to you,
theres a movie Id like to see.
But, Ruth, I invited him for you.
Why, hes very interested in your work.
Sure. I bet you hes so interested,
he cant wait to get you alone.
You got to get over that attitude.
How can you ever expect to fall in love
if you dont meet any boys?
Who wants to fall in love?
That might interfere with my career
And from what I hear, men are not sincere
I dont think thats true at all, Ruth.
Why, theyre only big bad boys
Fellows can be fun
And its wonderful
When you meet that certain one
How do you know
when youve met that certain one?
Whats gonna happen? How will you feel?
How will I feel?
Ltll be like, I just know.
Theres nothing like love
Its a grand, grand feeling
It really is a gift from up above
What else in the universe
Thrills you so
Nothing
No, theres nothing like love
Theres nothing on earth
That is more appealing
Than walking with your fellow hand in glove
What else gives a person
That sweet, warm glow
Nothing
No, theres nothing like love
If I ever meet the boy
What a lucky girl Ill be
There might be greater joy
But if there is, you tell me
Theres nothing like love
When the dawn comes stealing
And suddenly the stars have lost their light
Hell look in your eyes
And hell sigh and say
Thanks for a wonderful night
And then youre all alone
The sky is bright above
And, oh, youre so aware
That there is nothing
No, theres nothing like love
Gee, I thought I was in love
at least a dozen times.
- And while it lasted, it was beautiful.
- Yeah, while it lasted.
At least when the right one comes along,
llI know it. What have you got against it?
I dont know. I guess Im just chicken.
I know whats the matter with you.
You just havent met the right one.
I havent?
You just wait.
One of these days...
a big, handsome hero will come
charging up in a white convertible...
and sweep you off your feet.
May I have the pleasure, Miss Sherwood?
Id be delighted.
- Excuse me.
- Thats perfectly all right.
- Youre lovely tonight.
- Thank you.
Lets see what we can do
about splitting three meatballs four ways.
Good girl.
And skies are bright above
A girl is so aware
That there is nothing
Theres nothing like love
- Nothing
- Nothing
Nothing
Theres nothing
Like love
Did you make some salad dressing?
Yes, in the blue bowl behind the milk bottle.
- You better get ready.
- Youre right.
I borrowed a pair of your stockings.
I hope you dont mind.
Of course not. Theres one of the boys.
Hurry.
Come in.
- Hello.
- How do you do?
- Thats all right. Everybody does it.
- Sorry.
We tried to fix it.
You must be Frank Lippencott.
Thats right.
And you must be Eileens sister.
Thats what they call me.
Of course, youre a different type.
Yeah. Wont you sit down?
Lts hot.
- Eileen, Frank is here.
- Ill be right out.
Would you excuse me a minute?
Shes not still mad
about this afternoon, is she?
I think shell get over it.
Good.
Eileens been telling me
about your drugstore.
- She says you have awfully good food.
- The best.
Reasonable, too.
From what I understand,
reasonable is not the word for it.
- Good evening, Mr. Lippencott.
- Good evening, Eileen.
We dont have to use these...
I hope youre still not mad about
this afternoon. It really wasnt my fault.
Charlie, the piano player,
he never said a thing to me.
- I bet. Lets move the table.
- Let me help.
- No, thats all right, we can manage.
- So help me, its the truth.
If it isnt, may I be struck dead on this spot.
- What the devil was that?
- Come in, Mr. Clark.
Is it safe?
Of course.
Theyre just blasting for the new subway.
It doesnt happen very often.
This is my sister Ruth.
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
You still mad?
I didnt know anything about that deal.
Ill take an oath.
Dont do it.
Youll get the surprise of your life.
No. Im not mad anymore.
I know you two boys
were just trying to help.
Now that were all one big happy family,
why dont we sit down?
Sure. Of course.
- Please.
- Thank you.
- Dinner will be ready soon.
- It wont be long at all.
- I wish we could offer you a drink.
- So do I. Its hotter than blazes in here.
This is for you, Eileen.
Its a California Burgundy-type wine.
I thought it would go good
with the spaghetti.
- Thank you.
- Its a special were running this week.
So is our spaghetti.
- Ill get the glasses and some ice.
- No ice.
This is the kind of wine that should be
served at the temperature of the room.
Then you better cook it a couple of hours.
Eileen tells me
youre a newspaperman, Mr. Clark.
Thats right.
- She tells me you write, too.
- Yes.
Thats quite a girl, your sister.
Ive been turning her over
in my mind all afternoon.
You dont say.
This is quite a studio you have here.
Ive heard a lot about Greenwich Village,
but this is the first time Ive ever been...
here.
- Frank! Lm so sorry.
- Whats the matter? What happened?
- The water wagon.
- Oh, no, llI get a towel.
- Hello, darlings.
- Well, dont bother to knock.
I brought the plumber to look at the wall.
Hell only be a minute.
This is a fine time to be conscientious.
Dont you see we have guests?
My apologies.
By the way, I would appreciate knowing
if you intend staying on here.
A lady friend of the previous tenant
has expressed interest in this studio.
We can talk about this some other time.
- Hey, Appopolous.
- Will you excuse me for a moment, please?
- Good evening.
- Good evening, Officer.
- I see youre entertaining.
- I guess you could call it that.
Enjoy yourselves,
but keep your noses clean.
- What did he mean by that?
- Weve been playing the piano too loud.
I can fix it, but you got to tear out the wall.
Its all rotted, anyway. Look.
Ruth, what happened?
Anybody here like meatballs in plaster?
Isnt that a shame.
Im sorry.
Look, dont worry about it.
We can go down to the drugstore and eat.
- Drugstore?
- Sure.
I know a great little spot near here.
Beautiful steaks.
- And the dinners on me. How about it?
- You talked us into it.
- Chick, how sweet. Well get our things.
- Dont mention it.
As long as were going to go out,
could we go someplace like the El Morocco?
El Morocco?
- Thats very expensive, dear.
- It is? I didnt know.
The special at the drugstore
is baked Virginia ham.
- Sounds good.
- Look, baby, you want to go to El Morocco...
El Morocco it is.
Isnt it wonderful, Ruth?
We wont be a minute.
Chick, this is so exciting.
Ive dreamed about coming
to a place like this all my life.
Now that youve seen it, how about
you and me sneaking out of here?
I know a spot uptown
thats just loaded with cosy corners.
But you seem to forget. Im Franks date.
Youre supposed to be with Ruth.
She and that soda jerk
are getting along swell.
Hes not a soda jerk,
hes the fountain manager.
Besides, you said you were so interested
in Ruths work...
and you havent said a word to her
all evening.
I am interested in her work, honey.
Im going to speak to my editor about her
first thing in the morning.
- Promise?
- Why, sure, baby.
- Good parfait.
- Is it? Lm glad.
Thats quality ice cream.
- Boy, Eileen sure is a good dancer.
- Yes, she is.
Shes really a remarkable girl.
So pretty and talented.
Shes got a healthy appetite, too.
Youre really stuck on her, arent you?
I guess a lot of fellows are, huh?
- Look, if you dont mind my suggesting...
- No.
Faint heart never won fair lady.
- You mean I should take the bit in my teeth.
- Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Thats easier said than done.
I know what you mean.
Ive seen a lot of girls come in and out
of the store since Ive been working there.
Nice ones, too.
Never one like Eileen.
Ill never forget
the first time she came in the store.
I was filling the sugar...
Whats the matter, you drop something?
Yes, my compact.
Good evening, Miss Sherwood.
- Mr. Baker.
- Yeah.
Fancy meeting you here.
Mr. Baker, Mr. Lippencott.
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
Shall we?
Now, may I present Miss Stewart.
Miss Sherwood, Mr. Lippencott.
This is a very pleasant surprise.
Maybe youd care to join us?
- Thanks very much, but were with Ruths...
- Friends.
As a matter of fact,
we were just getting ready to leave.
Thats too bad.
- It was nice meeting you, Lippencott.
- Lippencott.
- Ruth was telling me all about you.
- She was?
Yeah. Shes a very remarkable girl.
I dont blame you for being jealous.
Good night. Nice to have seen you.
- Good night.
- Good night.
He seems like a very nice fellow. Very nice.
I think hes got me mixed up
with somebody else, though.
Who is he?
Hes just a fellow
whos got me mixed up with somebody else.
- Would you like some more coffee, madam?
- No, thank you. The cheque please.
- Whats the matter? Dont you feel well?
- No.
- How are you two lovebirds getting along?
- Ruths not feeling too well.
Whats the matter?
llI have a daiquiri, please.
- And a Gibson.
- A daiquiri and a Gibson. Yes, Mr. Baker.
As I was telling you,
Mr. Powers was terribly upset...
that I couldnt do
the bathing suit for Vogue.
But I already had a hat layout for Harpers.
With all the models in New York...
youd think they could find one
to do a simple bathing suit layout.
Everybody told me how hard it would be
to get started modelling...
but I didnt have any trouble at all.
My folks wanted me to be a stenographer,
but that takes so much studying.
Its really amazing when you consider...
that Ive only been in New York
for eight months...
and already Ive had my picture on the cover
of three of the biggest magazines.
Amazing.
- Im sorry you dont feel well, Ruth.
- Yes, thats a shame.
- Why dont you take her home, Lippencott?
- I feel much better now.
As a matter of fact,
I feel so much better, Id like to feel better.
- Lets go someplace and have a drink.
- Why, Ruth.
Why not?
There are a lot of people having a good time
tonight, why shouldnt we?
- Call a cab, Chick.
- Get a cab.
Ruth, put your shoes on. Youll catch cold.
Step on a crack,
you break your uncles back.
Its after 3:00.
Thats why Ive got my shoes off.
Im tippy-toeing.
I dont care. You put your shoes on.
That makes a grand total of...
$27.52...
half of which is...
- What is it?
- Look at the bandstand.
They have concerts here
every Tuesday night during the summer.
Its just like Kiplinger Park in Columbus.
Ruth used to play the cymbals
in the high school band.
- No.
- Yeah.
Best little cymbal player in Kiplinger High.
Eileen was a drum majorette.
Really? I played second trombone
at East Denver.
I was the ill wind that never blew good.
- How about you?
- I never played anything but the races.
Its about time you learnt. Come here.
You can play this.
- What is it?
- What does it look like? Lts a bass fiddle.
- Of course, how stupid of me.
- Eileen, did you bring your drum?
- I never leave the house without it.
- How about you? Lets hear a few notes.
Its beautiful.
Sound your A.
Drum.
Trombone.
Ready?
One, two, three.
Give me a band
And my baby
And an orchestration full of syncopation
With a sensational beat
Give me that band and my baby
Lordy, thats perfection,
Tell it, rhythm section
I have no objection to heat
Give me that sound
That makes a gal and her fellow yell
Hot diggity dog!
I adore those croony, swoony baritones
But tonight I want to jump
To trumpets and saxophones
Professor, I dont mean maybe
When I shake a footsie
With my tootsie-wootsie
I could dance from here
To dear old Dixieland
Baby, give me my baby
And a band
Once more, everybody.
Once again.
Give me that sound
That makes a gal and her fellow yell
Hot diggity dog!
I adore those croony, swoony baritones
But tonight I want to jump
To trumpets and saxophones
Professor, I dont mean maybe
When I shake a footsie
With my tootsie-wootsie
I could dance from here
To dear old Dixieland
Baby, give me my baby
And a good old ragtime
Give me some ragtime
Red-hot ragtime band
Thank you.
- Did you finish it?
- I think its delightful.
Yeah, so do I.
But do you think its possible?
You mean, the girl in the story
and the author are one and the same?
- Yeah.
- Offhand, Id say no.
But then you never can tell
about us women. Why?
I think she kind of likes me.
I mean, why else would she try
and convince me...
shes the belle of the ball, you see.
It could be she just wants
to get her story published.
No.
- Do you think so?
- You never can tell about us women.
See if you can get her on the phone for me.
- Hello.
- Well, hello.
You and your friends
have a nice time last night?
- Yes. Wonderful.
- Good.
By the way, who was the beautiful blond?
Her. Shes a friend of my friends friend.
I was wondering.
Are you busy for dinner tonight?
Tonight?
I do want to talk to you about your stories...
and I know you must be awfully sick
of nightclubs by now.
So I thought it would be nice
if we just had a quiet dinner. At my place.
I think that would be charming.
Wonderful. Ill pick you up around 7:00.
No, dont do that. Ill be uptown anyway.
Whats the address?
Excuse me. Just a minute.
Yes? What is it? Yes.
Ive got it. Yes, thank you.
Ive got it. Goodbye.
- Another guy for Eileen?
- Not if I can help it.
- Which way you want these pleats turned?
- Toward Mecca.
Twice.
- Have some more coffee.
- No, thanks.
- No? A little bit of brandy.
- Yeah, I think Id like that.
- Excuse me.
- Ill clear the dishes.
Thats all right. Leave them.
Here. Put them right down there.
- I dont mind.
- Dont bother yourself. Its not necessary.
I do it at home all the time.
Thats all right, the maid comes in
in the morning.
Have a seat.
- You know, youre a wonderful cook.
- Thank you. Just one of my hobbies.
Im glad you like spaghetti.
Thats my favourite dish. As a matter of fact,
I dont think I could live without it.
I have to make a confession.
I buy my sauce
down at Papa Grenuccis on the corner.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
By the way, I did some work
on that story that you liked.
I think I improved it a little bit.
- Would you like to read it?
- Id love to. Later.
I dont want to force the issue...
but somethings come up that may make it
necessary for me go to back to Columbus.
Come on. Lets not talk about business now.
When do you think you could let me know?
Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe tonight.
You know, I can certainly see...
how you wrapped all those men
around your little finger.
Bob, Id like to explain about that.
Theres nothing youve to explain
about that.
Thats just something
with which you were born.
Ruth, you know, you and I
could have a wonderful time together.
I mean, youre so intelligent,
you have such a great sense of humour...
and youre well-read, appealing.
Best of all, you dont want to get married.
Yes, of course. My career.
I may be taking an awful lot for granted...
but by now, you must know
that youre very attractive to me...
and I only hope
that Im a little bit attractive to you.
Yes, certainly. You are.
Lets drink to it.
To us.
Its bigger than you and me
Its mad and yet its right
One mad unforgettable night
Is worth a lifetime of dreams
Wed be fools to fight it
Its bigger than both of us
Its fate, it had to be
Keep the moment tender
Why wait, lets surrender
Its bigger than you and me
Bigger
Mad
The wildest
What do you say, baby
Its worth a lifetime of dreams
And wed be fools to fight it
Its bigger than both of us
Its fate
It had to be
Keep the moment tender
Why wait, lets surrender
Its bigger than you and me
You sure you wouldnt like
to read the story now?
I know youll like the construction
better than the way that it was constructed.
Now the construction is motivated by
the characters reaction to the motivation...
You know, you couldnt make things happen
if they wouldnt, and vice versa...
Why wait, lets surrender
Its bigger than you
And me
Are you sure you want to publish my story,
or is this a package deal?
Dont be so naive. Im no different
than any of the other men in Eileens life.
Come on, twist me around your little finger.
Come on, twist.
Slow down.
- Youve got the wrong idea about Eileen.
- I have?
There may have been
a lot of men in her life...
but she never handled them
the way you seem to think she did.
- Didnt she?
- No, she didnt she.
If you think youre going to stuff me...
and hang me in your office
with the rest of your trophies...
- youre fishing in the wrong stream.
- Wait a minute. I just want to explain.
Thanks for the dinner and the floorshow,
but the prices are ridiculous.
Wait. Please.
The least you can do
is let me drive you home.
No.
Look, I dont blame you
for thinking that I more or less...
- Give me a dime.
- What? Give you a dime? What for?
- For the subway.
- Come on. Ruth, this is so silly.
I just wanted to... Ruth.
Do you really think
youll have to go back home?
Lm afraid so.
Unless something happens tomorrow.
I guess Id better go in.
I have to get up early
and make the rounds again.
- Thanks for the fan.
- Its a special this week.
Youd be surprised
what a breeze that little thing gives off.
Everybody in the stores got a cold.
- Good night.
- Eileen...
I dont have many responsibilities.
I live alone, and Im pretty frugal.
- And...
- Yes, Frank?
- Ive saved a little money, and if I can help...
- Thank you, but we couldnt.
If you could just stay
just a little while longer...
Im sure something good would happen.
Something good just did happen.
Youre very sweet.
Good night.
Good night.
Gee, Eileen,
I wish you didnt have to go back to Ohio.
Its going to be just terrible
not seeing you in the drugstore anymore.
Besides...
next week weve got a special
on wedding rings.
I know how much you want a career, and
I wish you all the luck in the world, but...
If you said that Im the boy
What a lucky boy Id be
There might be greater joy
But if there is, you tell me
Theres nothing like love
When the dawn comes stealing
And suddenly the stars
Have lost their light
You look in her eyes and you sigh and say
Thanks for a wonderful night
But here I am with you
The moon is still above
And Im so aware that there is nothing
No, theres nothing like love
Were you there all the time?
Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing
No, theres nothing
Like love
Whats going on out here?
- Hello, Wreck.
- This guy giving you any trouble?
No. Everythings just fine.
Im sorry we woke you up.
Thats all right.
If you need me, you just whistle.
I will.
Who is that?
Thats the Wreck. Mr. Loomis.
He lives upstairs.
Upstairs?
Why is he sleeping down there?
You see, his girls mother just got in town...
- and so he cant stay with her.
- Who?
With either one.
You see, his girl works nights...
and her mother doesnt know
theyre sharing the same apartment...
so hes staying down here with us. You see?
No. Not exactly.
- Are you inferring theres something wrong?
- Im not inferring anything.
I just didnt think that you and your sister...
- were quite that bohemian.
- Bohemian?
Why, Mr. Lippencott, llI have you know...
that we come from
a very fine old Ohio family...
and youve got a lot of nerve
thinking what youre thinking.
And I think youd better leave.
- Look, I didnt mean...
- You heard what the lady said. Get moving.
- Now, just a minute, sir.
- Here.
- Ruth?
- Yes, dear.
- I thought you were asleep.
- No.
Where have you been?
Whats the matter, honey?
- Whats wrong?
- Nothing.
Its just so silly.
You and Frank have an argument?
I thought he was so sweet...
and kind and considerate.
But hes not at all.
He practically accused me
of being a loose woman.
My date just took it for granted.
Your date?
Do you remember Mr. Baker?
Sure. He was the fat, bald-headed man
you said you didnt like.
Thats not exactly
an accurate description of Mr. Baker.
As a matter of fact...
hes beautiful.
For the first time in my life I met a man I...
And I thought he...
And I was wrong.
Honey, you didnt tell me. What happened?
He wants to buy one of my stories.
On conditions.
That mustve been awful.
It wasnt entirely his fault.
Your smart big sister
has been acting like the village idiot.
Oh, well.
It doesnt make any difference now.
Tomorrow well be on our way
back to Columbus.
- After tonight, I just dont care.
- Neither do I.
Any way you look at it, honey...
we just didnt make it.
Im sorry, honey.
Thats all right, Helen, baby.
- She up there?
- Yeah.
Im taking her to Grants Tomb.
Why dont you leave her there?
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Need any help?
- Not now, thanks.
When we finish packing, maybe you could
give us a hand with the bags.
- Sure, you just whistle.
- Thanks.
Its not going to be the same around here
without you two girls.
I wonder what people back in Columbus
are going to say?
If were lucky, theyll say hello.
I wish I hadnt made that crack
at the country club.
Which particular crack?
You know.
Ill never set foot in this town again
unless its on a personal appearance tour.
I keep thinking of Dad.
All those letters Ive written
saying how great we were doing.
Good morning, my dear young ladies.
Im here to take inventory.
Inventory?
Naturally, theres always
a slight possibility...
some item of value
might have been damaged.
Item of value?
Listen, Papa, I could work this dungeon
over with a sledgehammer...
and it wouldnt look different
from the day we moved in.
You said you were going to give us back
our money if we werent satisfied. Were not.
What are you talking about?
Who said such a thing?
I was one of the witnesses,
and I dont even remember.
And remember, you have until 5:00.
I wish I could stay till Fathers Day.
Id like to bust Papa right in the nose.
Sherwood residence. Miss Ruth Sherwood?
Whos calling, please?
Yes, shes here.
Just a minute. Wait a second.
Its Chick Clarks newspaper.
Mr. Baines, the city editor.
He wants to talk to you.
- What does he want?
- I dont know.
But if its a job, take it.
Its what we came here for.
Hello.
Yes, this is she. Her. She.
What?
Yes, Mr. Baines.
Yes, Mr. Baines.
Thank you, Mr. Baines. Thats wonderful.
Yes, of course. A pencil, paper, quick.
What is he saying?
Get it, over there. Just a minute,
llI be right with you.
Im all ready. I got it. What is that now?
Pier 63, Sands Street, Brooklyn.
Sure. I understand. Ill be there. All right.
I cant believe it.
- I cant believe it!
- What did he say?
Hes gonna give me a chance
to show what I can do.
- An assignment over in Brooklyn.
- Brooklyn? What happened there?
Theres a Brazilian training ship,
you know, like Annapolis.
And Im supposed to go
and get a human interest story.
How wonderful.
You see, Chick was some good after all.
Yes, I guess I owe Mr. Clark an apology.
I thought he was just trying
to get around you.
And I still think so.
Do you know how to get there
on the subway and everything?
- Yeah, I can handle...
- Whats the matter?
The address.
Pier 63, Sands Street, Brooklyn.
- Here. Goodbye, honey.
- Goodbye. Good luck.
Wreck!
Hold everything, Papa.
We may not be leaving.
Isnt it wonderful, Wreck?
Maybe we wont have to go away at all.
Thats great. Ill keep my fingers crossed.
Excuse me. Ill see you later.
Just a minute.
- Chick!
- Hi, baby.
Im so glad you came by.
I dont know how to thank you.
- I mean, about Mr. Baines and everything.
- Skip it.
Really. Its the most wonderful thing
that ever happened to us.
All right. How about getting some ice?
Well celebrate.
Ill get you some.
If Ruth does get the job,
how much will they pay her?
Theres no telling.
But lets forget about Ruth,
and get your career straightened out.
- Dont do that, Chick.
- Dont be nervous, baby. Relax.
Mr. Appopolous might be
showing the apartment.
So, we wont open the door. I went
through a lot of trouble to get you alone...
without that eagle-eyed sister
of yours around.
Now, wait a minute.
That phone call Ruth got
was from the editor, wasnt it?
What are you worrying about?
Lm handling it.
It wasnt the editor. It was you.
Look, its gonna work out the same way.
Im gonna hand the story in to the city desk
as a sample of what she can do.
You mean you sent Ruth
over to Brooklyn on a wild-goose chase?
Wild-goose nothing.
Im letting her cover my assignment.
Now, what kind of a heel do you think I am?
What am I going to say to Ruth?
She was so excited.
Now, dont get tragic.
Its gonna be good experience for her.
- Please, Chick, leave.
- Now, look, Eileen. Put yourself in my place.
Dont do that, Chick.
Whats the matter with you?
Have you lost your mind?
Wreck! Help! Where are you?
- Whats the problem?
- Him.
Now, wait a minute, friend.
I dont want any trouble.
You win.
I look forward to the day...
when the Bronx Express
runs right through this room.
Its okay. That guy wont give you
any more trouble.
I dont care about him.
Its Ruth that Im upset about.
There, there, baby.
You just tell old Wreck all about it.
You see, he called Ruth...
and Ruth thinks shes got a job.
I dont know how Im gonna tell...
What are you looking at, you old bat?
- Wreck!
- Oh, no!
Wreck, I hope she didnt think...
Hold on, Helen, baby, let me explain.
Helen, whats the meaning of this?
Do you know that man?
Listen. Helen, baby, wait a minute, will you?
Look, honey, Im bleeding.
Look, Im supposed to interview you...
for my newspaper.
Steady now.
Wait a minute. Will you let me out of here?
At ease.
Come on now.
Now he fixes it.
- Hello.
- Good morning, Ruth.
Take it easy
and let me do the talking for a minute.
Ive got good news for you.
- Who is this?
- Who is... Its Bob.
Ive got some news for you,
Mr. Robert Baker.
Its men like you that give men a bad name...
and youre darn lucky
Ruth doesnt have a big brother...
instead of a sister.
Whats going on?
Dont encourage them.
Whats the Portuguese word for scram?
- You mean they dont speak English?
- Not a word.
- Oh, no. What do they want?
- What do you think they want?
- What cooks here?
- They chased me all the way from Brooklyn.
- Most of them got lost in the subway.
- Ill fix it.
Gentlemen, Im Appopolous.
Appopolous.
Im the owner of this building.
I must command you to leave.
- What are they tossing for?
- I got a hunch its not me.
Come on, fellows, break it up.
- Go away.
- Go away. Out.
The door, you know, out.
- I dont understand. I dont want to dance.
- My sister doesnt rumba.
She doesnt samba, either.
Come on, leave her alone.
Look, we dont rumba,
we dont even do the conga.
Ruth, do something.
Stop! Open the door.
Miss Sherwood.
All right, more conga.
Ruth?
Is that you, Eileen?
Eileen?
Ruth?
Allo!
Papa.
Come on, lets join the party.
Conga!
If youll just listen to me.
Im sure Eileen can explain the whole thing.
All right, but it better be good.
Let me in there.
Ive never been so mortified in all my life.
Imagine me,
chairman of the Womens League, a jailbird.
My only daughter mixed up
with a muscle-bound sex-fiend.
Yeah, Ma, but I love him.
I can see the headlines now:
Sherwood sisters incite riot.
Create international incident with Brazil.
Franks really gonna think
Im bohemian now.
Not that I care.
You dont care like I dont care.
- Charlie, have a heart.
- Im sorry, Wreck...
but Ive got orders
from the State Department in Washington...
to hold everyone
until the matter is investigated.
Charlie, wow.
- Cant I just see Helen?
- Look, Wreck, dont push your luck.
I might forget I like you
and toss you in with the rest of them.
Sergeant, Im Senhor Arajo.
Consul General of Brazil.
Yes, sir.
I have an order here
from the State Department...
for the release of the naval cadets...
and all of the unfortunate people
involved in the incident.
Yes, sir.
Does that mean theyre gonna let Helen go?
- Thats right.
- Wait a minute.
Look, Helens old ladys locked up, too.
I was wondering if youd do me
one little favour.
So now he knows that theres a you...
and Im just me.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
If I were any more ashamed,
Id commit hara-kiri.
No, I mean,
for having so little confidence in yourself.
I dont know why you want to be me.
Gosh, all my life
Ive wished I could be just like you.
Besides, how many girls
are attractive enough...
to have the whole Brazilian Navy
chase them?
Come on.
- You mean, were free?
- Thats it. Lets go.
I was beginning to feel like I belonged here.
- Which one of you is Helen?
- I am.
Come on. Youve been bailed out.
- What about me?
- What about you?
Gee, Ma, Im sorry.
- Can we go now?
- Sure. Anytime.
Youll hear from us very soon.
Yeah, itll have to be. Thank you. Goodbye.
Now, where are our naughty boys?
Weve got to figure out some way
of getting these bags to the station.
We sure havent got enough money
for a cab.
Do you think
we shouldve let Dad know we were coming?
No. Well just burst in the door and yell,
Surprise!
Come in.
Good afternoon there, lovely ladies.
My name is Robert Baker...
and I represent the Society for the
Rehabilitation of Habitual Criminals.
First off, Id like to know
which one of you is Miss Ruth Sherwood.
Dont tell me. Thats you.
You must be her sister Eileen.
Id know you anywhere...
and Ive been dying to meet you...
because I must ask you about a flyer
who came all the way from Nome, Alaska...
just to bring you a birthday present?
Tell me, did that really...
Now look what youve done.
- You go right out there and apologise.
- Ill do a lot more than that.
In the meantime,
why dont you start unpacking?
- Ruth.
- Okay, say it. Ive got it coming.
- Your sisters very attractive.
- Shes beautiful, isnt she?
- Yes, shes lovely.
- Shes got a wonderful personality.
- Yeah. Shes got a great figure.
- Yes.
I was thinking maybe we ought
to run her picture along with the story.
Thats one of the things I wanted to tell you.
Your storys going to be in next months
issue, that is, if you agree to my terms.
Thats very nice, thank you.
Theres something else
I want to tell you and I cant...
I remember what it was.
- What was that for?
- I think youre funny.
I think youre wonderful. Really.
I think youre beautiful.
Eileen?
I brought you a box
of chocolate-covered cherries.
Theyre a special.
Miss Sherwoods.
Miss Sherwood, come quickly.
Very important.
Come out quickly. Its very important.
Come on, come out quickly.
Very important. Come, Ruth!
- Make room, please.
- Whats the matter? Whats going on?
Senhoritas.
- Hello.
- How are you?
My government wishes
to take this opportunity...
to right a most disastrous wrong.
Isnt that sweet?
Because of your generosity
and understanding...
I have the honour to present to you...
the ribbon of the Order
of Brazilian Mariners, second class.
- Why, thank you. Thank you very much.
- Youre welcome.
I wonder what you have to go through
to get first class?
Thank you.
They wish for you to make a speech.
Not me. Ruths the speechmaker.
Go ahead, Ruth.
- Well, I...
- Miss Sherwood, up here.
On behalf of my sister Eileen and me...
I... Me...
Id like to thank you
and your wonderful country...
for this great honour.
Actually, we didnt do anything
to deserve this.
All I did was
say something about the conga.