1
Mystic Pizza
- Trs Mulheres, Trs Amores -
Oh, God.
Be seated.
We're gathered here to witness and bless
the joining together forever of William
and Josephina in Christian marriage.
The firm covenant of marriage
is permanent in this lifetime,
because it was established by God.
And once entered into,
it may never be broken
without risk of eternal damnation.
So I ask you now, in the presence
of God, family and friends,
to declare your intentions to enter
a permanent union with one another
for as long as you both
shall draw breath on this earth.
- Josephina.
- Jo!
Jesus Christ. Jojo!
- Hey, look out.
- Think I got eyes in my butt?
That's where your brains are.
- Daisy!
- Yeah.
Think we might get that pizza served
while it's still hot?
I think maybe.
Mr Lopes left his teeth again.
I need a coffee cup, Manny.
Jesus Christ! These shoes are killing me.
Corns at 20. Can you believe it?
Come on. D'you have to talk that way?
- Yeah, Dais. Watch your mouth.
- Oh, excuse me, Holy Mother.
What I meant to say was,
these fucking shoes are killing me.
Put a lid on it, Daisy.
Thank you.
Tourists!
Excuse me. May I have my coffee now?
Jo, what are you doing here?
I am getting out of that house.
My father just put himself 5,000 bucks in
the hole to watch his daughter pass out.
- He is just a little pissed off.
- I thought it was pretty funny.
- Daisy! Hey, Jo.
- Hi.
Well, it was a first for St Mary's, anyway.
I saw myself ten years from now.
Fat and ugly, and all these kids
swarming around me,
and then I was picking
fish scales out of Bill's boot.
Sounds about on target.
- But I did do the right thing, didn't I?
- Sure.
Jo, the only reason to get married
is to get the hell out of Mystic.
- How's Bill taking it?
- He's still not talking to me.
- Get ready to talk, Jo.
- Hey, check it out.
- Only kidding, man.
- Shut up, you asshole!
Come on, Bill.
Let's go outside and talk, OK?
Please. Bill, please.
I wanna talk to you. Let's just go outside.
Dirtbag.
- So what happened, Jo?
- I don't know.
I just, you know...
I just... When I actually
got up there to do it,
I just couldn't, Bill. I just couldn't.
Bill, it's not that I don't love you.
Because I do, Bill.
I really, really, really do.
You know, I walk into this place,
and everybody stares at me.
Let 'em stare.
- Are you OK?
- Yeah.
- And everything's better now?
- Yeah.
So how does November 21st sound?
I don't know. Let's just talk about it later.
- Kiss Mom for me.
- No. I'll be late for my interview.
- Well, then you better hurry.
- I've been three times this week already.
Well, Kat... four, and you go to heaven.
"Kat's such a good girl."
"Where did we go wrong
with her sister Daisy?"
Honey, you'd do just fine
if you just used your head a little more.
Yeah, well, don't worry about me.
I'm not gonna be slingin' pizza
for the rest of my life.
The best pizza.
Hey, Ma. Sausage today.
Oh, great! Ladies, we're gonna eat
soon as we finish this tote.
Hey, Kat. Come on, sit down. Have some.
No, I gotta go.
I got an interview out on Shore Road.
- Another job?
- Yeah, baby-sitting.
You do too much.
Kat's got four jobs already.
- I need the money.
- Kat's been accepted to Yale University.
She got a scholarship
and she's startin' in February.
A part-scholarship.
So you got a boyfriend yet?
Got no time for boys.
Kat, I got a great idea.
Hey, Silvio! You got a job
for my smart kid?
- Terrific, Ma. Bye.
- Bye, honey. Thanks for the pizza.
Where does she get her energy?
All those jobs, and a straight-A student...
- Hello?
- Come on in.
- Katherine?
- Kat.
Hi. Tim Travers.
My daughter did the decorating.
Phoebe, come on down, sweetheart.
Oh, wow! An old Van Cort.
Oh, yeah. I guess it came with the house.
- Are you into stargazing?
- Actually, this is a nautical telescope.
But it's a lot better
than the one I have at home.
- I'm going to take astronomy at college.
- Yeah? What college?
Yale. I start second semester.
Yale, huh? Me, too. Class of '79.
And this beautiful redhead is Phoebe.
Phoebe, this is Kat.
Hi, Phoebe.
How old are you, Phoebe?
- Come on. You know how old you are.
- Six.
Four. Forgive her. She's had a hard week.
Her mother left for England yesterday.
What I'm looking for
is someone to help me out.
Not full time, just until my wife gets back.
Excuse me.
OK, come on, sweetheart.
Hello?
Yeah. Hi, Mrs Farley.
Oh, we got off
to a good start this morning.
Yeah, we knocked down
that wall heading into the...
Glass brick?
Yeah, well...
I like glass brick too, Mrs Farley,
but it doesn't go with your house.
But...
But we've had long talks about staying in
the tradition of the Connecticut house.
- Of course I'll talk to your decorator.
- Do you want to read this with me?
It's time to turn the page, though.
Do you want to turn the page here?
OK. Here we go.
"She was quite the loveliest fairy
in the whole world."
"Her dress was like golden dewdrops,
and there were flowers in her hair."
"And her face was like
the most perfect flower of all."
"She came close to the little rabbit
and kissed him on his velvet nose..."
Well, you certainly
seem to have the touch.
I've been baby-sitting since I was nine.
- I'm nine.
- No, you're not. Do you drive, Kat?
Yeah.
Is there a history of insanity in the family?
They say it skips a generation.
- When can you start?
- Anytime.
Read.
Read.
"'Little rabbit, don't you know who I am?"'
I smell like a couple of buckets of fish.
What you got in there?
- A couple of buckets of fish.
- Terrific.
It's Romeo and Juli-e-et!
- Those boys talkin' to me?
- No, I don't think they is.
- Oh, boy. Uh-oh.
- What?
Come on, Bill. Let's just drink,
and beat 'em up later.
- Hey, John.
- Hey, Daisy.
- Who's buyin'?
- I'll buy.
- Winnin' any?
- No.
- Got a smoke for me, Jo?
- Yeah.
- OK, what do you wanna drink?
- White wine?
I'll have white wine too, please.
- George?
- Lite.
Can I get two white wines,
two beers, and one of 'em lite?
Dais?
Oh, he is cute.
Yeah, if you like white bread.
Rich white bread.
Ladies? Here you go.
For you.
Look at that punk. I would look
good in a coat like that, huh?
OK, let's get some action goin', huh?
Ten bucks says
I get three bull's-eyes in a row.
Make it fifty.
And, between throws, off a shot of tequila.
- Three tequilas.
- This guy's nuts.
Yeah.
He said that he could hit three
in the bull's-eye. Can you do that?
I can do the three shots of tequila.
George.
Three in a row.
Starting now.
No way.
All right, I'll take that fifty.
Yes, sir! Thank you.
Let's play some pool.
It's not that I don't like playing pool.
- But why can't we do it at my house?
- Lorna?
No! I'm the worst. Really.
Excuse me.
Do you play?
Sure.
OK. Why don't you break 'em?
Sorry, partner.
OK. It's our turn, sweetheart.
Right, here's what we want.
Right down here, honey.
The one with the orange stripe.
Right on the orange, nice and easy.
Just send it right down there.
Darn.
Well, take it easy, honey. That's why
we play boy-girl. To even things out.
Excuse me.
I think we got a ringer here.
She is really good at this.
I know what you are. A hustler.
Lorna!
Isn't that the right word, Charlie?
Like in that pool-hall movie.
Lorna!
Fast game.
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
- Quite a game.
- Anytime.
Can we get out of here? Please?
Shit.
- Daisy?
- Hi, Mom.
You goin' to 11 o'clock mass?
No. I went last night.
I gotta get lunch ready. Uncle Vic
and Aunt Rosalie are comin' over.
Daisy? You help me with lunch.
- Kat will.
- Thanks a lot.
She gone?
Do you like it?
160 bucks? Are you out of your mind?
I'm gonna return it...
after I've worn it...
somewhere.
Daisy?
Wait up, Phoebe.
- Daddy!
- Hi, sweetheart.
- How was the story hour?
- I got a library card.
- That's great. What'd you get?
- I got The Yellow House
and Babar's Little Girl.
- She picked them herself.
- I'll bet. Are you hungry, Phoebs?
- Yes.
- OK.
One bologna and cheese on white,
no crust, coming right up.
OK. Now, why don't you take your books
and your sandwich out on the porch?
- And you know the rule, right?
- Don't get off the porch.
I'll be right out.
Later, alligator.
This should keep us up to date, Kat.
- There you go.
- Thank you.
I always wondered what
the inside looked like.
It's gonna look a hell of a lot
better than this, I promise you.
- I'm impressed already.
- You want to see the best part?
- Yeah.
- OK. Phoebe?
- What?
- I'm goin' upstairs, OK?
- OK.
- Don't go out the porch.
- Wow! This place is huge.
- Not bad for a summer cottage.
Actually, the original house
was built in 1880
by a wealthy merchant named Elias
Montrose for his English bride, Elizabeth.
Watch your step.
They were married in London
after a whirlwind romance.
It's gorgeous.
What a view!
Oh, I'd put a telescope right out here.
This is where Elias would watch his ships
come in and unload their treasures.
- Like what?
- Teas and spices from Ceylon.
Silks, pearls, sapphires from India.
I thought the only things that came
through Mystic were lobster and cod.
The story has a sad ending.
Elias returned to Mystic
and Elizabeth stayed in London
to settle her affairs.
On her way here, her ship was lost at sea.
And old Elias spent all the rest
of the days of his life
watching for her ship.
They say you can still hear his ghost
walking on this balcony on stormy nights.
Of course, it could be this squeaky board.
Are you gonna fix it?
Wouldn't dare.
There she is. That was gonna be
my wedding present from Bill.
It used to be called the Rose,
after his mom.
The man is a prince, Jo.
Miller Lite. I take it back - the man's a god.
Dais, he keeps that there
for him and the guys.
- Dais, he's not gonna like that.
- Jojo, relax! Trust me.
You're gonna wiggle your sweet ass,
and he's gonna forget all about it.
- St Katherine with a beer?
- I drink when I want.
You're a real lush.
You screw ten guys a weekend, too.
- No, that's your department.
- You're damn straight it is.
This is very pleasant, OK?
Let's have some fun tonight, OK?
Gosh, you know what I wish? I wish
Bill did not have such a gorgeous body.
- Yeah, right!
- No, I mean it.
It would make things so much easier.
I wouldn't think about him all the time.
Gosh, you know something? I get really
turned on just looking at his wrists.
- His wrists?
- Yes. They're so thick and strong.
- Maybe something's the matter with me.
- I think so.
- I think it's called being in love.
- Oh, no.
- Are you saying I shoulda married him?
- No, she's not.
Kat, look. There's a comet. Right there.
- No, that's just a shooting star.
- It's thrilling.
A comet looks like a tadpole. It's got
a round head and a long blazing tail.
I know what one looks like.
A sperm. A big sperm.
She's got one on the ceiling.
She goes to sleep every night
with a giant sperm flying over her head.
You know what? Ten years from now,
she's gonna be a famous astrologer.
- Who are you gonna be, Daisy?
- It's "astronomer."
How the hell do I know where I'll be?
I could be dead for all I know.
Daisy! That's bad luck.
- Look, Jo, you've got Bill.
- Right.
You've apparently got brains.
All I've got is this, and these.
- So to hell with both of you.
- No. I don't think so.
- Come back here, Daisy.
- Daisy! Wait up.
I really like old houses
like this, Mrs Arujo.
I'm sorry.
My family lives in an old house, too.
The water pipes, they burst just about
every winter. My dad gets really pissed.
Well, he gets very upset.
Oh, there you are. You didn't tell me
you were goin' out for dinner.
- I didn't know I was.
- Well, you could stay here for dinner.
- I got some nice lobst...
- No, thanks, Ma.
It was nice meeting you, Mrs Arujo.
You don't have to come home so late.
I know how long it takes to have dinner.
Daisy
Arujo...
You are a very difficult woman to find.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yes.
Charlie?
Charles Gordon Windsor. Junior.
Figures.
- Can I get you something?
- No, thanks.
But I think your mother could use a drink.
Shut up.
Sit.
I'll be right with you.
So, get out the spare.
That...
That was the spare.
Yes, that's gonna do it.
OK, I got the idea.
Yes!
So tell me, Junior, how come
you're not at your Ivy League school,
picking ivy, or whatever you do there?
Why do that,
when I could be here with you?
I needed a little vacation from law school.
Oh.
In other words, you're being a bum.
Exactly.
I got nothin' against bums.
Excuse me, Mr Windsor.
I hope you and the young lady
enjoyed your dinners.
It was wonderful.
Thank you, sir.
Which one is yours?
My dad's is the 62-foot
two-masted schooner there.
Not bad.
Arujo.
The stars have been,
and still are, used by sailors
to help them determine
their positions at sea.
Remember now, there are
no roads or signposts
or gas stations
where you can ask for directions.
Hi, Kat.
Now we'll show what it's like
to toss around at sea
with the stars your only hope
of getting back home.
How would you find your way?
If you had made a study of the skies,
as ancient seafarers did,
you would realise that
at a given date and time,
each star marks a particular point in the...
A particular...
A particular point in the sky.
So what you would do is measure
each point, each star, with a sextant.
- Hi.
- Hi. You were great.
- I kind of flubbed it today.
- No, no. We both loved it.
- Didn't we, Phoebe?
- Mommy, can we please go home?
It's nap time.
Can you change me, Kat?
Totallin' up?
We're gonna have to do better than this.
Oh, come on, Leona. It'll pick up.
Yeah, in June, with the tourists.
Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.
Absolutely.
Hey, Leona, your boyfriend's on.
Hector Pleshette here
with this week's gastronomic report.
In New Haven, a place called Nubby's.
"Grubby's" would be a better name for it.
I had to ask three times
before I received a clean fork.
Black angel hair pasta
with Dalmatian sauce.
Don't ask me what it is. Just don't try it.
A culinary disaster.
Overpriced and pretentious.
We should get him to come here. A good
review would bring in tons of people.
- I wouldn't let that moron in the door.
- Why not?
I bet if we had designer pizza...
- It'd taste like that magazine there.
- Oh, come on, Leona.
A little dry white wine, some
smoked clams, sun-dried tomatoes...
- I think we should do it, Leona.
- Listen, young ladies.
We have the real thing right here.
The Mystic Pizza.
Spices from the Algarve back in Portugal.
My grandfather taught my father
how to make it. And my father taught me.
And one of these days, when I retire,
I just might teach one of you.
It's tradition. And you
don't monkey with tradition!
- Amen.
- Leona?
Will you please tell us what's in the pizza?
Please, Leona.
...goat cheese popovers I would kill for.
It ain't goat cheese, I'll tell you that.
There you go. Hop into bed.
Mommy brushes my hair.
Hold still.
- Mommy lives in England now.
- Oh, no, she doesn't.
She's just there working.
She'll be home in a few weeks.
I know.
We're not getting a divorce.
- Well, of course not.
- OK.
Time for bed.
Good night.
All righty. Scootch in.
I'll read you to sleep.
God knows where
she picks these things up.
- Read!
- All righty. I hear and obey, master.
What story do you want?
- Good night. I'll see you tomorrow.
- Good night, Kat.
All righty, sweetheart.
What have we here?
Go ahead. Turn the page.
"Uncle Wiggly Learns to Dance."
Kat?
Here.
Better take this. It's gotten chilly out.
- Daddy!
- Be right there.
I'd better go.
Coming, master.
Each room is more
breathtaking than the next.
The dining room table seats 45,
and weighs a whopping 4,000 pounds.
It's the world's only
marble-top extension table.
It took 15 craftsmen a year to build.
If you're wondering if this is the ultimate
fairy-tale home, check out the bedroom...
Hi, Kat.
Mrs Post's daughter,
the privileged princess,
awoke to flowers on the walls,
on the silver door hinges,
even on the four-poster bed.
"Lifestyles" is proud to bring you
this once-in-a-lifetime look
at America's number one home.
- I can relate.
- Over lunch on the patio...
Nice sweater.
- Kat?
- Good night.
- Whose sweater?
- Tim's.
Tim's?
- So it's "Tim" now?
- Shut up.
- What's going on?
- Nothing.
Daisy, I'm his baby-sitter,
and it got chilly tonight.
And he's married.
If he weren't married,
he wouldn't need a baby-sitter.
Looks to me like
he's puttin' the moves on you.
- You're disgusting.
- OK.
I'm disgusting. But just in case...
The guy wears 'em.
Daisy!
Jojo!
Where is she? Kat, have you seen Jojo?
Just a minute.
Hi.
Hi.
Sorry, Leona.
Hey, Kat. Table six wants dessert.
Ah, I'd love to stay and chat.
- Here you go.
- Miss, this pizza is unbelievable.
- Thank you.
- What is in that sauce?
Oh, I'm sorry. That's top secret.
She won't even tell us what's in it.
Here you go.
Hey, Jo, can you switch days off with me?
- I guess so. Why? What's up?
- Tim needs me on Friday.
Don't do it, Jo. You'll be contributing
to the downfall of a saint.
Butt out, will you? Let's talk
about the preppy with the Porsche.
Holy shit!
- What?
- Oh, nothing.
Come on. Let's go.
Daisy.
Make yourself comfortable.
What's the matter?
Can't afford to pay your light bill?
My father turns off all the power
when nobody's here.
- You're here.
- Yeah...
But he doesn't wanna be reminded.
Is it OK to sit on the sofa?
You can do anything you want on it.
It must get kinda lonely here.
I kinda like it this time of year.
No one's around.
It's nice and quiet.
Is this a habit with you?
Picking up townies and luring them
to your big, fancy house?
You're the first.
So how is it?
So far... it's pretty nice.
And for you?
Dais?
Charlie? Follow the breadcrumbs.
This is my parents' room.
I figured.
Is that my father's shirt?
D'you think he'll miss it?
No.
Hey, Junior.
Yeah... Arujo?
Dais.
I told you I was takin'
a vacation from law school.
Yeah?
I was thrown out.
I cheated on a final.
Why?
I panicked.
I was flunking a course, and I panicked.
People flunk courses.
It happens all the time.
But not to me.
Not to Chuck Windsor's son.
You shouldn't have lied.
But I'm glad you told me.
Don't do it again.
Which? Cheat or lie?
Either.
- Hi, Kat.
- How was the poker game?
Great. I won a buck more than I owe you.
- I just checked on Phoebe.
- How is she?
Fine. I hope you don't mind
my using the telescope.
No, no. I'm delighted
to have someone use the thing.
You want a soda or some juice?
I'll have some wine.
- What's up there, anyway?
- Well, have a look.
I see kind of a... fuzzy clump.
That's Pleiades, the Seven Sisters.
Do you see six bright stars
and one very faint one?
Yeah.
That's actually a cluster
of several hundred stars.
Only those few are visible from here.
They're over 400 light years from Earth.
They're a sign of fall.
Am I babbling?
Yeah.
No...
I mean, I like it.
OK, then, I'll tell you one more thing.
It's a great night to spot comets.
New moon, dark skies...
May I propose a toast?
- Sure.
- To new moons, dark skies... and comets.
Fuzzy clump.
- Let me take this off.
- OK.
Be careful, Bill. It's expensive.
Here we go.
I can't do this with him starin' at me.
- Let's just go to my room.
- Are you crazy? Your parents are home.
No, no. They're asleep.
- Yeah?
- Mm-hm.
- I'm goin' home.
- What?
Bill!
No, please. Please, Bill. Please don't.
Jo...
- I gotta go.
- Just one more kiss.
- What are you doin'?
- Poor little thing.
All it needs is a little bit of fresh air.
- Jo!
- What?
I'm tellin' you, I love you.
- I think we should make a commitment.
- OK.
But... first things first, though.
- Cut it out!
- What?
Jo!
Come on. I'm tellin' ya,
I think we ought to get married.
Bill, if you say that word one more time
to me, I'm gonna scream.
Married.
Holy shit!
- No, Pops!
- Listen, Mr Barboza. Nothing happened.
Listen, I promise you...
It's not what you think.
Good night, Mrs Barboza.
Get the hell outta here!
- Thank you, Mr Barboza!
- Run, Bill, run!
- Josephina!
- Son of a bitch!
So there's Pops, all 130 pounds of him,
tryin' to knock the shit out of Bill.
Bill's just standin' there tryin' to be polite
and pullin' his pants up at the same time.
- I nearly peed in my pants.
- So close to a clean getaway.
Where's the prince of prep school
this weekend?
In Greenwich visiting his grandmother.
She's 90 and drives her own Rolls.
- Big deal.
- He'll be back Sunday night.
Hey, Jo!
Whaddaya think?
That isn't funny!
Whose side are you guys on?
You know something, Bill?
You are a real asshole!
- What?
- Thank God I didn't marry him.
What, you think this is
gonna make me marry you? Do you?
Well, it's not, cos I don't have to
marry an asshole. It's the '80s.
- Why would I marry an asshole?
- Jo, come on.
You can't force me to do something
I'm not ready to do, Bill.
- Come on! I was joking.
- And until I am, if I ever am,
the answer is no.
- But it's just a joke.
- No!
Man!
Asshole.
There is no way in the world... He's sayin'
he brings in more than we do. No way.
Jojo, would you hurry up?
He's gonna see us.
- Hey, Bill! Get your dumb butt out here.
- Shut up. We shouldn't be doing this.
What has he got back here?
I mean, God, what a stink.
I told you he had a spare key.
Come on, let's go.
Wait, Kat. I can't drive. I'm too plastered.
There you go. This is so great.
This is just too great.
"Nympho," my ass.
Get a horse, you asshole.
Hey, you guys. Where are we going?
- The country club.
- Yes!
- Come on. It's gonna be great.
- No, you guys. No.
- Why?
- Come on, live a little.
Kitty-cat Kat?
Shit.
We made it.
- Oh, boy.
- Can I have a smoke?
Yes.
Thanks.
- This is really the life, huh?
- Absolutely.
Hey, Dais? You wanna do the jitterbug?
Do I wanna do the jitterbug?! I lead.
Hold this for me, Kat.
Come on, you guys. Let's get goin'.
- Why?
- Cos it's boring.
It isn't boring, this is fun.
You gotta relax and enjoy yourself.
"Outta town."
Son of a bitch!
I'm gonna kill him! I'm so stupid!
It's OK, Dais. Please?
- Gimme the keys.
- No, Dais, I'll drive.
Gimme the keys, Kat.
Gimme the goddamn key!
Kat... Daisy, you don't need the key.
What are you going to do with the car?
Jo, we gotta stop her.
- Daisy, no!
- Daisy, what are you doing?
- My car!
- It's beautiful.
- What are you doing?
- Greenwich, my ass!
Daisy, look.
Daisy, this is Serena Windsor, my sister.
Serena, this is Daisy Arujo.
Daisy.
Hi.
Hi.
How was I to know? You said
you were at your grandmother's.
My grandmother had a migraine. I called
you when I came back. You were out.
- I fucked up.
- Yeah, but you gave it 100% effort.
- You're weird.
- I'm weird?
Think you can give us a lift?
- Bill.
- Hey.
I'm sorry for taking the truck.
I'm sorry for taking the truck.
That's OK. I'm sorry, too.
I took it off.
Guess what. My sister and her husband
are going to Marblehead for three days.
- Yeah?
- What do you mean, "yeah"?
Bill, we have the apartment
for three days and three nights.
- Yeah, well, I don't think so, Jo.
- What, are you crazy, Bill?
- Three whole nights.
- Yeah, I heard ya.
I don't want to.
Bill, I said I was sorry.
Your parents' place, my parents' place,
your sister's apartment,
the damn john at the pizza parlour.
What, Jake?
I'm tellin' ya, Jo, that I love you.
Doesn't that mean anything to you?
When people love each other,
they should make a commitment.
They should have a wedding, in a church,
with the blessings of God, for chrissakes!
Don't you get it, Jo?
I'm telling you that I love you.
And all you love is my dick.
Do you know how that makes me feel?
I...
I'm sorry.
Come on, let's go.
I'm finished, Jo. I can't do this anymore.
Let's go!
Hi, Manny.
Hi, how's it goin'?
What? What are you guys looking at?
You're three hours early.
- Yeah. So?
- Yeah, so you look kinda weird.
- What's up?
- Nothing. Nothing much.
You pregnant, Jojo?
Bite your tongue, Leona.
Somethin's goin' on.
It's just... It's just that
I broke up with Bill this morning.
- Oh, shit!
- No. It's no big deal. Really.
I mean, Bill and I haven't been
getting along at all, and...
I just couldn't do it anymore,
so I told him, and...
You know, he got real upset
and started to cry.
But I had to do it, you know?
Hey, it's OK. I mean, it had to happen.
I'm fine. In fact, I don't know,
I feel kinda good.
I mean, if you think about it,
Bill and I are so different.
Everything he wants, I don't.
The marriage, the kids, all that stuff.
I mean, I really want that stuff.
Real bad. I just don't want it now.
He doesn't understand.
If he really loved me, he'd wait.
But I guess if I really loved him,
I'd marry him.
Maybe I don't love Bill.
But I really do love Bill, though.
He really... He understands me so well.
No, no. You guys are right.
I don't need Bill.
I've got a lot of things going.
- Leona?
- What is it, honey?
One of these days you're gonna tell me
what you put in that pizza.
When you retire, right?
Absolutely. When I retire.
OK. So I could run this place, and...
I don't need Bill to do that.
And, Kat, you're not the only one
with brains. I could go to college.
I could take that course.
What is it? Economics.
OK. Thanks, you guys.
You guys are great.
You know, helping me out, supporting
me, telling me I made the right decision.
I think I have to go to the bathroom.
Men!
- Hi. I'm home.
- Hi. How's Mrs Farley today?
Oh, fine. She only called four times,
but it looks like we'll wrap it up on time.
- Hey, Phoebe.
- Hi.
Did you catch anything?
- She sure is in a good mood.
- She's excited about Mom coming home.
Yeah. Just a little while longer.
- What's she like?
- Who?
- Mrs Travers.
- Nikki?
- What do you wanna know?
- Where'd you meet her?
- At school.
- Yale?
Freshman year. It's funny to think
you have all that in front of you.
I look at the way you examine everything,
and I remember exactly how I felt
when I started Yale.
- How did you feel?
- Scared shitless.
But great. I mean, it was so exciting.
I felt like I was really gonna... live.
And you did, didn't you?
Yeah, sure. Here I am.
Aw, Kat. Stuff happens.
What can I say?
Hey, aren't they gonna kill you
at that pizza place?
No, they'll cover for me.
Hey, rascal. Come here.
Gotcha! And I'm gonna
squeeze you like a ball.
- Fly me.
- You wanna fly? OK.
Shit! Where the hell is Kat? She was
supposed to be here half an hour ago.
- Easy!
- Oh, yeah. She called.
They needed her baby-sitting.
She said you'd cover for her.
I'm supposed to have dinner with
Charlie's parents tonight. She knows that.
Shit!
- I'm gonna kill her.
- Take it easy. You're not missin' much.
My dad is not exactly a load of laughs.
- Your mom's gonna think I blew her off.
- My mother doesn't think. Don't worry.
- We'll do it another time.
- All right.
- I'll call ya.
- OK.
That's what you're drivin' these days?
Well, it smells a hell of a lot
better than the Porsche.
Right.
Hi, Dais.
Hey, I'm sorry I didn't show up.
I said I'm sorry. Why are you
being such a bitch about it?
Right. I'm a bitch and you're an angel,
no matter what.
Should have been stamped
on our birth certificates.
What the hell's the big deal?
You unload shifts on me.
Well, you knew I was supposed to meet
Charlie's parents tonight.
- Dais, I'm sorry. I forgot.
- Tim needed you, right?
Just what the hell do you two do
together? That's what I'd like to know.
- To you, it would sound stupid.
- It would sound pathetic.
Daddy boffing the baby-sitter is a really
old story. It happens all the time.
We talk, we read,
we listen to Mozart sometimes...
You really believe this 30-year-old guy
is gonna leave his wife for you?
You're livin' in
a fuckin' romance novel, Kat.
Oh, yeah. Boffing, fucking, screwing.
The great Daisy. Nobody's fool.
Why don't you start taking cash for
your services? It would be more honest.
Wipe your conscience.
Shit!
- Jojo. Pick up.
- OK, I'm coming.
OK, two lite beers.
This is my table.
Can we change that sausage
to pepperoni?
Sure. Why not?
Hey, Jo. Do me a favor.
Sit for Phoebe tomorrow?
Yeah, right.
Baby-sittin' for the baby-sitter?
I think I'm gonna puke.
Yeah, I'll do it, Kit-Kat.
- You know, I feel a little ridiculous.
- You're not scared, are you?
- Stormy nights?
- Kat, it's just a story.
We'll see.
Hope old Elias like pizza.
Come on, let's eat.
It'll be a shame
when they finish this place.
Yeah. We all wish
we could stop time, don't we?
Well, I'm afraid it won't work.
Soon you'll be at school.
Contractor'll take over from here.
Nikki comes home.
What was that?
- Elias Montrose!
- I told you so.
Wait here.
Run, run, run.
Oh, there they are.
How's your mother, Kat?
Did you get her the medicine in time?
Nikki.
- Welcome home.
- Thanks.
I was lucky. I caught that morning plane.
- Well, you look great.
- Yeah, so do you.
Hi. I'm Nikki Travers. You must be Kat.
Oh, I hope your mother's feeling better.
Well, thank you for everything
that you've done for Phoebe.
You're all she talks about on the phone.
She's a wonderful little girl.
Kat, we should really get goin'.
Cos your mom must want us back.
Nice meeting you, Mr Travers.
Nice meeting you, Mrs Travers.
Tim, aren't you forgetting something?
- Jojo, how much do we owe you?
- Oh, no. That's OK.
I don't need any money.
Thanks. Come on, Kat.
Kat, I didn't know what to say.
The doorbell rang, I thought it was you,
and there was this person
just standing there. I almost...
I almost peed in my pants.
I don't think she knows.
OK, all right, so he had his arm
around you. So what, right?
I mean, what if your mother had died?
He was just being nice.
People do that, you know.
She might know, though.
She looks really smart.
Holy shit, Kat. You don't think
she'd come after you or anything, do you?
No, she wouldn't do that.
I don't think she would do that.
Oh, God, Kat. Well, at least it isn't
your fault, you know. It's not your fault.
Oh, God. Kat, this is
really heavy-duty stuff here.
God, I thought I had problems,
but I mean, I do...
At least with Bill,
what you see is what you get.
But that gutless wonder back there -
he makes Bill look like
the catch of all time.
Don't wear my boots again, OK?
They're nice boots, Kat.
I'd like to keep it that way.
I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't use
my comb, either. It's full of scuzz.
Kat, are you alive?
What's the matter?
What happened?
- She came back tonight.
- Shit.
He just stood there.
He didn't even say a word to me.
It's all right.
It's gonna be tough,
but you're gonna be all right.
I just feel so stupid.
Why does it hurt so much?
- Let me get you a cup of tea.
- No, please. Please, just stay with me.
Kat! Order up.
Oh, 'scuse me. Sorry.
- Excuse me. This isn't cooked.
- Sorry.
- Hi. Ready to order?
- Yes, I believe I am.
The... Mystic Pizza.
I assume that's the house special.
Yes, sir. That's the special.
There's nothing like it.
And bring me
a fresh glass of water, please.
- Sure. Do you want some ice in it?
- No. No ice.
Leona, I need the best Mystic Pizza
you've ever made.
- Why?
- The Fireside Gourmet. He's here.
Look.
- So what?
- Leona!
- Take your pick.
- This.
Holy Mary, Mother of God.
Anything else, sir? A side of clams?
We have a wonderful small house salad.
No, thank you. Just the check, please.
The check? You're through?
Yes.
Here you go. I'll get a box
so you can take the rest home.
No, thank you.
Excuse me.
Somebody ought to ram
fried goat cheese up his ass.
Lobster for breakfast,
lobster for lunch...
Fuckin' lotta lobsters here.
Ma? I'm not gonna be able to
take you to the potluck tomorrow.
Charlie invited me to dinner
to meet his family.
- What do you think about that?
- Guess I could get a ride with Louisa.
- I mean about Charlie.
- He's not a Catholic.
Or a Portagee, or poor.
He's not a lot of things.
- He's not gonna marry you, either.
- Are you kidding?
Marriage? I'm talking about
dinner with his parents.
Sure. What do I know, anyway?
You think I always looked like this?
When I was your age, you think
they weren't sniffin' around after me?
Different clothes, same line.
- Only I had sense.
- Thank you very much.
Well, I didn't go jump in the back seat
of every sports car that came along.
- You're really good at this, Ma.
- At what?
Making me feel like shit.
I cursed.
Another mark against Daisy, right?
I curse, I'm stupid, I'm a slut.
All I want is for you
to make something of yourself!
Yeah? Well, I'm not gonna go to Yale.
You're just gonna have to deal with that.
I don't expect you to go to Yale.
I'm just so worried about you.
Yeah.
Me too.
Thank you.
Oh, it looks marvelous, Elaine.
Thank you very much. Thank you, Teresa.
Dig in, everybody.
Out of this world, Polly. It's so tender.
Mom, do you want my green stuff?
That's called the tomalley, Steamer.
It's the best part.
It's the shit, Steam. Don't eat it.
- Do you want a beer?
- No, thanks.
Anybody else?
- Daisy.
- Teresa. You work here?
I help out Mrs Windsor once in a while.
- You still waitressin' at the Pizza?
- Teresa?
- Yes, sir?
- How's your lobster?
It's really delicious.
Charlie didn't tell us that
you were in the pizza business, Daisy.
Mrs Windsor and I consider ourselves
pizza connoisseurs.
- Really?
- I worked in a pizza place one summer.
Up at the Cape. Remember, Mom?
There's nothing wrong
with being a waitress.
A noble profession, right?
Certainly a profession, at any rate.
- As opposed to what I do.
- Just what is it you do?
- Chuck...
- It's all right, Polly.
I so rarely get to meet a man of leisure.
Much less a close relative.
Well, I owe it all to you, Dad.
You gave me all the advantages
that you never had.
When Dad was my age,
he was a steampipe fitter.
- Show her the calluses.
- Cut it out, Charlie.
Who would like more
sour cream on their potato?
Oh, I do, please.
- I'm so sorry.
- It's all right, Teresa.
These Portuguese girls
are very hard to train.
I had one once who barely spoke...
- English?
- I didn't mean your friend.
- So what did you mean?
- Charles.
I'm just clearin' the air, Dad.
Aunt Tweedy...
You can't even train
your own husband to sleep at home.
And Dad's big frustration in life
is that he can't train me.
- Isn't that right, Dad?
- Charlie!
- Everyone knows I can't cut the mustard.
- You listen to me...
If you can't train a golden boy like me,
there's no way you're gonna train
a dumb Portagee.
- I said that's enough!
- OK. So I guess dinner is over.
- Dammit, Charlie.
- Daisy?
Charles? Charles, you come back here!
Dais? Look, I'm sorry, all right?
But they deserved it.
- I couldn't let 'em do that to you.
- Me? You did that for yourself.
They were bein' real jerks!
The only jerk at that table was you.
They were just being themselves.
Bring home your poor Portagee girlfriend
for dinner, shake up the family a little.
- That's not true.
- I'm poor, and I hate it. I admit it.
I even thought I was desperate,
but I'm not half as desperate as you are.
I would never use you
to get at somebody.
Your father didn't cheat his way out of
law school. You did that all on your own.
Deal with it, Junior.
You're not even good enough for me.
Teresa? Can you give me a ride?
I wanna go home.
Kat...
Oh, my God.
Hi.
Hi, Phoebe.
Phoebe wanted to say goodbye.
- Goodbye, Phoebe.
- Bye.
- Keep going to the library, OK?
- OK.
Take care.
This is for you.
It's for Yale.
All those stars and comets
don't come cheap.
Thank you.
Goodbye, Tim.
Yeah. Well, I guess... we better go.
Bye, Kat.
Kat?
Are you out of your mind?
If you initial this, you can still cash it.
She doesn't need the money that bad.
Oh, yeah? How is she gonna pay for Yale?
She'll find a way.
What now?
...a hole in the wall
called the Mystic Pizza.
- Moron.
- The atmosphere was rustic,
the service was oversolicitous.
- Is that good?
- Now, I am not a pizza person.
I am not particularly
fond of cheesy cuisine,
and this pizza is...
How shall I say this? In a word...
superb.
I ordered the house speciality,
the Mystic Pizza. Mystic indeed.
Exactly the right blend
of cheese and tomatoes and spices
that I can't quite identify.
You bet your ass you can't.
That's the Mystic Pizza,
in Mystic, Connecticut.
I have to give them my highest rating.
Four stars.
And you thought the man was a moron.
Hello, Mystic Pizza.
I beg your pardon?
No, no. No reservations are necessary.
Reservations!
Yes. Yes, Main Street.
This is Hector Pleshette wishing you...
Bill, this is important.
I don't want you to get the wrong idea,
but I gotta maintain my own identity.
Maintain your own identity.
Right. I mean,
I understand about commitment,
and I love you more than anything.
But you gotta know exactly where I stand,
because absolutely nothing has changed.
Except your name.
Except my name.
Who you wanna dance with, me or Kat?
Not you.
It's for Yale.
You'll pay me back.
- No, I...
- No, Vic and I talked about this.
We don't have any kids of our own.
Daisy, Jojo... you.
You're my kids. So...
Thanks, Leona.
Hey! You're messin' up my dress.
Karen, you wanna take this out?
It's a great party.
What do you want, Charlie?
Listen.
What you said about me and my father...
You were right.
- So?
- I owe you an apology.
OK.
So...
So?
So you like chocolate ice cream?
It's my favorite.
Well, this must be your lucky night.
Keep it up.
Thought I'd find you out here.
I see you had some company in there.
Who knows?
God, next Thursday's Thanksgiving.
Soon I'll be at college.
- Do me a favor?
- What's that?
Next time you take on a Yalie,
pick one your own age?
- Who knows?
- Hey, you guys.
You're not gonna believe what Bill's mom
just said to me. You're gonna die.
She came up to me and she said "So,
when am I gonna hear some good news?"
I mean, I've been married two hours
and she wants me knocked up already!
I really love you guys.
- You know what I wonder?
- What?
What the hell do you think
Leona really puts in that pizza?
Recovered by (c) dCd / March 2018