(in chorus)
# Long live the sparkling wine,
# of Frascati and Marino. #
# Live forever the sparkling Asti, #
# the Champagne and the Bordeaux. #
# Among the eating and drinking, #
# with women close beside, #
# we'll be entertained
on the springs of the sofa. #
# Long live the sparkling wine, #
# of Frascati and Marino. #
# Live forever the sparkling Asti, #
# the Champagne and the Bordeaux. #
# Among the eating and drinking, #
# with women close beside, #
# we'll be entertained
on the springs of the sofa. #
Nero: Ave, Caesar! - All: Ave!
Ave, ave. What's so funny?
Never seen an emperor?
# Where am I? Who is this mob, #
# watching me?
But where do I find myself? #
# Heaven! What do I see?
My vision dazzles. #
# Is it an old world
or is it a new world! #
# They've just dug me up.
Oh, oh... #
# Oh, la la la. #
# But I do not know
how to explain it well, #
# if I came here by myself,
or if they sent for me. #
Tomorrow, if you go to stores to purchase
this article in the Cathedral,
you'll find that it's cheap.
I work in the public square,
for the Bomb Norcia company.
I want to spit blood but I can't.
Stand back, boy, let me work!
Not for your needs,
because needs, we already
have enough, thank God.
Tell me, 4 is too much, 3 is too much,
it's still expensive. How much do you sell?
A pound per meter! Toh!
Take it away, let them see.
If you don't like it,
we have other articles.
Oh, the old days of brave warriors!
Hearts of steel and tempers of glass.
Where is that Muzio, good old Muzio.
Muzio!
Muzio Scaevola who fought the Etruscans,
so strong, he put his hand
in the fire and let it burn!
But is that story true?
- The historians say so.
- Sounds like a tale for the fireplace.
And the rule of Atilius Regulus?
A rule that you nor
I have ever observed.
What a time!
That Golden Age of the great Ulysses!
The most fearless warrior
who ever lived to fight.
Times sung by Homer
and 'Bignose' Ovidius,
and later by Virgil,
and then Nero, the famous singer.
Mucrone,
would you like a drink.
Give me a drink.
Would you fancy,
listening to my latest verse?
- All: Now!
The tench fish said to the pike:
'What are you doing, oh pike?'.
Replied the pike:'I do what I like.'
Moral: or tench, or pike,
do what you like.
All: Well! Bravo! Bis!
We want him undressed.
Gourmet!
Moral: who falls gets hurt. You
can't spell service without vice.
But this is the imperial triclinium
and I do not see Poppea.
Woman: There's Poppea?
Do not be jealous: Poppea
is no longer popping.
Where's Poppea? What is it?
You wanted me, dear Caesar?
Nero: Greatly!
I longed for you. Hi, matron!
- All: Hail!
- Hail and thunder!
No longer matron
but godmother now, huh?
Ripe as fruit in Autumn,
worthy of being immortalized
in marble by Phidias.
Too bad you put on weight!
Melius est abundare deficere quam.
Unlike you,
you're bones, skins, nerves,
but flesh... nothing!
- Tell me, do you want to take a walk?
- Yes.
- Und spazieren?
- Yes. - Space enough...
- Are you tired?
- Nein. - Nein?
(in German) My biggest darling,
give me a kiss.
You will always be my chick?
And Acte and Calvia?
- They're only substitutes.
- I can't stand them.
Well, let's have some
fun by abolishing them.
Take 100 slaves from Acte,
and give them to Poppaea.
- Thank you. I withdraw.
- Then I withdraw too.
- Ave.
- Ave.
- Ave.
- Ave.
- Bye, Caesar.
Bye, Caesar's, see you tonight.
And I? And how shall I
cope without the slaves?
Careful or I'll give you one in
the face to send you to that post!
Pluto's tail, I am jealous!
The navel of Nebuchadnezzar!
Watch yourself,
I am not a slave,
of that vain...
(SOUNDS LIKE HAVANA)
Who smoked that Havana?
- Hamilcar? - Hamilcar.
- Hamilcar,
take her away from me,
before I crush her,
splinter, pulverize her,
like the glass of a watch
between the gears of a dynamo.
Hail, Caesar Augustus!
Petronius, the arbiter of taste.
# What news do you bring me? #
- Christians...
- How many times have I told you,
I do not want you to enter the
triclinium with a pipe in the mouth?
You took the triclinium
for a smoking room? Hm?
By the poet! And you who
are the poet and artist,
you smoke like a steam engine.
If I do not hit you on the head,
it's because the top hat is mine.
Caesar, the population complains!
They want bread, oil, sesterces.
Says Terces? Who is Terces?
Chastise these ignorant plebeians,
is the advice of Tigellinus.
Tigellinus, are you there? Stay.
Let's burn Rome, and rebuild
it in reinforced concrete.
What do you think of my plan?
Courageous.
Well, I'll go.
Are you leaving? I wanted to dismiss you,
it's even better if you're already going.
Hamilcar!
Here, burn all of Rome,
make it a fire well done.
- Caesar, I go.
- Go'.
# Go, go and come back soon,
I'll wait here. #
Farewell!
Mucrone! Mucrone, bring me my lyre.
Caesar, it sounds false.
Of course it is false...
That's why it's called a li-ar.
But no matter: brilliant people
will improvise without the lire.
Music and words worthy of Nero.
Piripi, Piripi, Piripi!
Porop, porop, porop!
Parapira, parapappa, piraparapappa,
piraparapappa, piraparapappap!
I'm composing the second part.
Parapiraparapappap, pappap, pappap!
Oh, oh, oh...
Pom, pom, pom...
- I forgot to close the tap.
- Pom...
Tigellinus, the empire is mine.
When you want to poop,
make your own empire. Lie down.
Let's return to antiquity,
that would be progress.
- A fire!
- What? - All of Rome!
Light of Helios!
Don't you know that was my order?
- Beard of copper! Why did you do this?
- Because Rome is mine!
But what about my savings!
Save my savings!
But I am not the fire brigade.
Wait! I must make a call.
Speaking? Speaking! Of course!
If I am speaking you must be listening.
You're receiving me? Oh! What reception!
Ha ha ha. No, Miss, connect
me to the station...
No, no! The fire station.
Huh? Right now?
All right, go ahead.
- What is it?
- They're coming.
- This is it?
- No, but they're coming.
Already coming.
Oh! I admire your diligence.
Yes, I'm speaking with the fire
fighters, you fine fighters!
Yes, it's burning! This is Mr.
Nero, from the Palatine, yes!
What is burning? A fire, of course!
Do not forget, huh?
Make a knot in your the handkerchief,
tell your friends when they arrive!
Huh? No! No!
- You're lying! Intentionally! No!
- What is it?
- Tell me it's not true!
It's not true! - What?! - No!
He says a firefighter came
and left an umbrella, look...
Huh? But no! These
are burning matters!
Man: Death to the arsonist!
All (together): To death!
- (in dialect of Rome) They fight!
- But no, it's there. It's the people!
What... What does this
vile multitude want?
Mamma Mia! Mamma Mia!
- We want your blood!
- Take Butter's blood!
Butter, lend me your blood, come!
See? When you need it most,
the butter melts away.
Tigellinus, would you burn for me?
Do you not fear my death will
make the praetorians revolt?
Man: Death to the mother-killer!
All (together): To death!
Death to the mother-killer?
I am an orphan!
- Caesar, why do you not flee?
- Enough.
The public must forgive me
this professional flirting.
At times like this,
the actor disappears,...
...and vanity takes over, the vanity
of technical theater and cinema.
These internal choruses
I seem to have done well, right?
But the public did not take them.
I will repeat them.
Do it again.
Man: Death to the mother-killer!
All (together): To death!
For what I pay them, they do miracles.
I'll make them do it a dozen times.
- Caesar.
- What is it?
- (in dialect of Rome) They want to kill you.
- But why?
- To make you pay for starting the fire!
- But why? Who told you that?
- They told me so.
- They will make me pay? - Yes.
But no! I am insured against fire!
Talk to the people!
Wait, I'll talk to the people.
How exciting, addressing the crowd!
No! Those guys want money!
Ah! Wait!
What an idea! The people are mine!
I hold them in my hand!
- 3!
All: 6!
- 7!
8!
- 4!
9!
You see? It is the people!
Make them play, and they bite the bait!
- Look: 5!
7!
- 8!
7!
Another pint to be refilled!
Nero and players: 6! 6! 6!
Stupid!
Uuuh...
Ignoble mob,
is this the reward for
the sacrifices made for you?
Go home, prove yourselves men,
and tomorrow Rome will be reborn more
beautiful and magnificent than before!
Men: Bravo!
- Thanks!
You like this word, 'before'?
The people love it when
they hear difficult words.
I will repeat it to them:
More beautiful and magnificent than before.
Men: Bravo!
- Thanks!
- More beautiful and magnificent than before!
Men: Bravo! - Thanks!
- More beautiful and magnificent than...
Men: Bravo!
- More beautiful...
Bravo! - Thanks!
- Beautiful, thank you!
Bravo!
- Thanks!
Bravo!
- 'you!
Thank'!
- Bravo!
Thanks!
Bravo!
You see?
The people, when they often
say that you are good,
will say so even if
you do nothing. Look.
Man: Brrr!
- To you and your grandfather.
Tomorrow, tomorrow...
How many tomorrows are
there in one month?
Tomorrow there will be
large distributions,
of wine, oil, of
flypaper, and sesterces.
Bread and circles.
Man: bread and circuses!
Look who's speaking gibberish!
But I am made of stronger stuff!
I will give you everything, as
long as you don't ask for anything!
Now go, beloved rabble!
All (together): To death!
Woman: To death!
- No!
Public: Encore! Bis!