Ready, roll 'em!
If anyone knows by heart
a few gentle words and notes
that murmur
in the trees like the wind...
Tell them to me.
They will suit me.
When I find a composer
who can write me
a love song - I don't want a hit -
I will ask him politely
to hurry up with it.
I will describe in detail
how it should be.
Call me later.
This one doesn't even open.
The song should be as clean
as the red sky...
As transparent as a daze...
As light as a stork,
about to take flight...
And as neat as a back yard.
That song should sound
like a guitar
with a nightingale's nest in it.
Be quiet as a gold mine
where nobody digs anymore,
and as cosy as a bar by day.
What kind of weather can we expect
tomorrow and the day after?
I know a hundred songs
and when I just look,
one is similar to the other.
No one knows I'm singing today...
For you, for me
and for both of us.
When I find a composer
who can write me
a love song,
as quiet as breath,
I will ask him politely
to hurry up with it.
It's late. Get on with it.
Everything's cool. You have
a red one. I've got a green one.
You first.
S H A M E L E S S
Bon appetit.
Are you going to the zoo
with your mom today?
-Yeah.
-Are you looking forward to it?
Yeah.
-What's up?
-Nothing.
-What are you looking at?
-Nothing.
Daytime temperature +2 to -2,
in the mountains - minus four.
Mild winds from the southwest,
The bio forecast is two,
medium pressure.
We wish you all a nice day.
We're talking about the accuracy
of average forecasting.
-Forecasts.
-Average ones though.
But forecasts, not forecasting.
-Oskar, don't be pedantic.
-We need some fresh air.
I'm an ex-teacher too, you know?
So tell the meteorologists here,
about the accuracy rates
of their long terms forecasting.
-Forty percent.
-Forty-two.
A lousy forty-two percent.
Hang on.
Let's put it the other way around.
Hey, that's a good idea.
Okay, down?
Okay.
Unhook it.
Hold on.
I'll be right back, okay?
-Hi, it's your order.
-Thank you. Keep it.
Thanks, goodbye.
We expecting someone?
I ordered dinner.
Robert and Marie are coming over.
-Don't you think it should be fixed?
-Fixed?
Yeah. Marie's double chin.
What? You always said
she was a pretty woman.
She is. I just wonder why she won't
do something about her double chin.
Or why Robert doesn't tell her.
You don't want to have dinner with
Marie because she has a double chin?
No, I'm just wondering
about Robert.
Why doesn't he tell her?
Maybe he has some kind of a mental
block, some inhibition. Or he just...
Why doesn't he tell her?
Robert, I mean.
Hang on.
It's something about me, right?
What do you mean?
Something obvious
and you've never told me
because you don't wanna hurt
my feelings, right?
My nose.
No...
Put the lizard to sleep.
You think I haven't noticed
you staring?
You think you're perfect?
With your TV smile?
Your ever bigger belly?
You think I haven't noticed
how distant you've been lately?
That we don't have sex?
That you're always
getting text messages?
I mind, you know.
I didn't say anything.
You know why?
I'm not a shit like you.
I love you.
Cheers.
So what did you decide
about the mountains?
What d'you think...?
What? You've cancelled again?
Can you imagine me on a ski lift?
Me and mountains?
Sure, why not?
And they say
lawyers don't have imagination!
Hey, that au-pair of yours,
she's Hungarian, isn't she?
Yeah.
What's she like?
-Who?
-The au-pair.
Why do you always drag
that animal round with you?
What?
You want me to pee on you?
Wait. Not here.
Not on the double sheets.
No?
When's your wife coming back?
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow?
You told me in a week.
Oh. They want
to come back earlier.
The weather's lousy.
I have an idea.
A pleasant surprise for everyone
skiing in the Krkonoe mountains.
Where tomorrow
the weather's going to clear up.
Blue skies all the way.
So be patient.
And don't panic.
We wish you all a nice evening.
We can escape to the mountains,
away from the lowland wind and rain,
where it will be clear and sunny
thanks to the thermal inversion
and the temperatures will be
around a pleasant 10 degrees.
The wind in the mountains
is going to be mild.
In short, just a gentle breeze.
-WARNING: HEAVY SNOWFALL
-We wish you all a nice evening.
Drink up.
And that young lady, Jakub,
who babysits for you sometimes...
Is she nice to you?
-Yeah.
-Yeah?
-Pretty, huh?
-Yeah.
-You like her?
-Yeah.
Show me.
Hey, it's 39. Naughty boy!
You shouldn't go to the mountains,
when the weather's bad.
How is it?
-39. Can I get another cup of tea?
-Yeah, thanks.
Hey, give that here.
I'm telling you,
give me that phone.
Go on, give it me.
OK, read it, then.
"I forgot the turtle."
-What's a "korytnaka"?
-"Turtle".
Ah-ha. So take your turtle,
your phone,
and get out.
The music stopped playing
inside us.
The tunes we used to know faded.
The music inside of us
stopped playing.
And the summer attracts new songs.
You're fired.
Who said it was a good idea
to put it the other way round?
It was his idea.
What do you want here?
Hey, that's a nice warm welcome.
-Delighted to see you, father.
-Oh, kiss my ass.
Why so angry, my beloved parents?
I come to hang your curtains
and you're like this to me?
You're overreacting, mom. You say
yourself that I get on your nerves.
Oh come on - you're showing off,
they wouldn't want you
even on a soap opera.
So where are the curtains?
Zuzana has hung them already.
You're late.
She's a real treasure, isn't she?
-Yes, she is, actually.
-Unlike me, huh?
Yes, unlike you.
But I won't let anyone take her
away from me. Nor Jakub.
And who do you think wants
to take them away from you?
You, of course.
A mature man doesn't get divorced
just because of his wife's big nose.
You're not in the least
bit ashamed?
-No.
-No?
No. Why?
So what.
This is not about some big nose.
This is about the fact
that love, has left us -
like many other couples.
Love, God, love...
God, he's a moron.
That song should be as clean
as the red sky.
As transparent as a daze.
As light as a stork,
about to take flight.
And as neat as a back yard.
That song should
sound like a guitar,
in which there's
the nightingale's nest...
Yes?
Yes. Vejvodova street. I got it.
Be there in 20 minutes.
This is something, look.
How horrible it is.
Come here... Wait.
Is that a price tag?
No, that's mom's number,
if I get lost.
I write that for him
every time we go out.
In a few years I'll be putting a
note like that round your neck too.
You won't be here
in a few years, mom.
And that baby Jesus, he was
a VlP baby. That's a hippo.
What are you telling him?
You think that kid understands you?
-Tell me.
-I understand.
You see.
And everyone sucked up to him
and brought him gifts.
Like this. This is a gift. Look.
That's the toilet.
Zuza, see how he's
putting on an act for you?
-He...is...in...love...with...you.
-And all those animals...
-I know.
-That was also all kind of weird.
For example the cow,
probably had mad cow disease.
And the donkey...
we all know about donkeys.
The same sort of show-off
as our Oskar.
What does he do now?
He drives drunks home from bars.
He drives their cars.
And that concludes
our block of requests.
This is Zuzana, signing off.
Good night.
Sweetheart, get lost.
I'll meet you at the Owls.
Bounce off the putlog.
I swept it myself.
Sweetheart...
-I hope the bike's clean.
-Sure.
Get lost just a little bit.
Like the sky beyond the wire.
Get lost just a little bit.
Like the sky beyond the wire.
You can make pasta out of salmon.
Or foam.
Steaks, filets.
Or horseshoes.
In the end
it's still salmon, though.
Just as our example here proves.
Man can dress up as anything.
He can be a maid, a stone-mason,
a hunter or just a passer-by.
But if he dresses up as a salmon
he'll still be a dickhead.
Great, huh?
I've never seen anything so
embarrassing in my entire life.
Everything that has feathers,
flies.
-A stop light.
-A stop light doesn't fly.
-Mom, have you got a new phone?
-No. Why?
There are fewer numbers. Four.
There are nine numbers there,
just like always.
No, there are four.
Let me see.
Jesus, I'm so stupid.
-No, you're not.
-That's my PIN.
What's a PIN? Is it short
for something, like VIP?
Yeah, it is.
A Pretty Imposing Nose.
Let's go.
Dad, there's some boy
stuck in here.
Here, in the slide.
-Do you hear me?
-What happened?
Hello, excuse me,
my son seems to be stuck.
Hello?
Hi.
Hey, scout,
what are you doing here?
Oh, I see.
It looks bad, mommy.
That boy is really stuck good.
We're going to have to cut it open.
-What?
-Yeah.
Nah.
Hey, I got something
better for you.
Have you ever seen
your mom this small?
-Come down!
-You come up!
When the windows of the first tram
flash their usual signals
to the curtains of my room.
And the sunrise comes
to press the doorknobs
on the keys of accordions,
tunes takes wing.
Someone played under the roof.
Someone was laughing at it...
What's wrong?
Excuse me?
I'm looking at your nose.
You have an amazing nose.
-Yeah?
-Honestly.
-It really suits you.
-Well thank you.
Gorgeous.
My bathtub is full
of violet violets.
It was like that every morning.
And someone unseen, said,
Let the guy have his fun.
Another told his wife though:
A weird attitude towards hygiene.
Because she'll lose her health.
Upstairs the other one played on.
To all the tenants.
Like the wish "break a leg"
he was sending us a message...
-Bye.
-Bye.
Wait.
What if I get lost?
You're a big boy.
Why would you get lost?
One moment.
So do I.
Now hardly anyone will know,
who lived back then
under the eaves
of an old house in Karln.
He just left one morning,
from the flat
that never had a bathtub,
and smelled, at best, of wine.
With the things he played to us,
he lied,
they all said.
l, however bad the weather,
still sing:
My bathtub is full of violets,
my bathtub is full of violets.
My bathtub is full
of violet violets.
-I wrote a poem.
-About that Hungarian?
I don't understand why you don't
sort these things out in a brothel.
Wait, you don't understand.
I'm 42. And I wrote a poem.
And how big is your mortgage?
Twenty thousand.
And you lease your car, too?
How many more times, do you think,
will you fall in love again?
How many more times will you hear
the cracking of shells?
I just don't want it
to be taken away.
-How much is it?
-The lease. Ten.
Has Marie ever offered
to pee on you?
How much did you make in TV?
Thirty thousand.
-And now?
-Probably twenty.
And how much do you want
to pay for Jakub?
At least ten.
So you're twenty thousand
down each month.
I will, of course,
represent you in court,
but you should try to negotiate
a settlement with Zuzana.
I'll listen to the poem next time.
Good evening,
we have a reservation.
-What's the name?
-Roman Hofman.
Yes, here we are.
Good evening.
Very pleased to see you.
Thank you.
And finally here comes
the executioner.
He looks terrible, horrible, man.
The blood is dripping
from his hatchet, you see.
And when we take off his cape
like this...
It's a clown...
So what's the problem?
Does he drink?
-No, he doesn't.
-He doesn't drink. Good.
-Does he smoke?
-No, he doesn't.
He doesn't smoke.
Does he do drugs?
-He's nice.
-There you go.
-He's divorced.
-Those are points in his favour.
And I am married.
So you'll get divorced,
and that's it.
Isn't it kind of hard on Oskar?
Oh come on, he's a complete fool.
-Have you ever cheated on him?
-No, I haven't.
Unfortunately.
I was so absurdly puritanical.
If I wasn't such a puritan,
I'd have slept with every cute guy,
who helped me into the tram
with the baby carriage.
I'll call him later, okay?
No way, girl.
One moment.
Yes?
Yes, I'll pass you her right away.
One second.
Hello? Hi.
Now?Idon't know
if we'll make it on time.
And I have to ask Jakub.
Okay. Bye.
Jesus, I can't squeeze
into a swimsuit in an hour.
Jakub.
They said they'll cut the head off
with a hatchet. They'll saw it off.
Jakub, do you want to go
swimming with Terezka?
No, I prefer the theatre.
Okay, but get dressed and we're off.
She's a real terror, isn't she?
But that's how it is in normal life.
I really don't understand
why she died.
Excuse me. Madam, that dead animal
on your table...
But everyone has
a dead animal on their table!
Don't cry.
I think I'm all burnt out inside.
My homeopath also told me I have
a zinc and selenium deficiency.
Then have steak tartar.
Are you kidding?
I really don't understand
how you can eat meat.
Please, answer me.
Those animals that ran away
from some electrified enclosure
and had the whole of Britain
cheering for them...
what were they aiming for
if not freedom?
Freedom, do you get it?
Look at yourself.
Can you see the bloodthirsty fiend
in your face?
Let me see your teeth.
Fangs.
Do you know
when I became a vegetarian?
When I realized
there's no difference
between a cowshed and Auschwitz.
You mean, you feel that a cowshed
and Auschwitz are the same?
Murder's murder.
In that case, I'll have
a double steak tartar.
Is it worth it?
Listening to that for two hours,
just for ten minutes of...?
It is.
-Mom, please.
-Leave him alone.
You know, what it seems like to me?
Like when you sit on a bus
for two days going to Greece,
then swim in the sea once and
spend another two days getting home.
A great metaphor.
Why do we put ourselves through it?
Maybe I like swimming.
-Are you looking forward
to seeing Jakub? -No.
What? No?
I am.
Look.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Hi, Jakub. Let's go?
-Okay.
I'll hold you.
I'll jump in again.
Come on.
Come on, don't be scared...
-Bury her.
-Okay.
But choose some beautiful place.
Sunny. She liked the sun.
Okay.
-But promise me.
-I promise.
Does anyone need safe transport?
Yeah, I do.
Maybe I'm a little drunk.
And maybe I'm all burnt out inside.
And maybe you have a zinc
and selenium deficiency.
Who knows.
You're pretty bold.
I could be your mother,
for God's sake.
I was expecting
something more original.
I could be her grandma.
That's better! Here you go.
Everything alright?
So, where to?
I wrote a poem. For you.
You know, come to think of it,
I've only been happy
twice in my life.
When my dad bought me
my first long pants.
And then...
when you gave me
the three coloured soap
and told me you were my friend.
It's still true.
I am your friend.
Tell me, why am I such a bad
and miserable man.
I can't look at myself anymore.
I'd like to be so different.
ButIdon't know how anymore.
Something's messed up inside me.
I'm probably nuts.
A good day to you, this is Zuzana.
Today, we're going to talk about
how the stars can influence
our relationships.
I think that these things
are overrated.
However, we're interested
in your opinions. After...
But after a song.
Bla bla, am I in love?
It's been nearly a year,
that I've been searching for you
everywhere.
My excuse was a borrowed book.
And with that book under my arm
I ran every day like
someone standing still.
What ifIbumped
into you somewhere?
It happens.
You and your house...
-Kiss.
-Kiss, come on.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Ninety.
I finally have to buy a new door.
Now that I've got
such a good measuring tape.
I don't understand,
whyIdeserve to have you here.
In this empty flat.
Look whatIdiscovered.
We've sung together already.
In 1989.
You were standing
on the balcony in Melantrich
and you were singing the anthem.
I was downstairs.
With a little flag.
I loved you.
This is that little flag.
I don't remember you.
Where were you standing?
On the curb.
You don't remember me?
-No.
-Really?
How is that possible?
I don't know.
-You don't remember me?
-No.
No?
Ah, so that was you,
with the little flag.
Czech country, my homeland.
Czech country, my homeland.
-How about some music, folks?
-Yes, please.
Wait. I'll put on...
No, leave it, I like it.
I like it too.
I'm the little soldier,
my shoes are all torn.
I'm not going to join the army,
untilIhave new ones.
My father heard me,
he came out of his room,
and got me some new shoes,
I had to go to the army.
I'm the little soldier girl
among a lot of soldiers,
there are thousands of them,
and I am all alone.
If there were only
two hundred of those soldiers,
I would stand up to them
like a fearless woman.
I'd like to see some bats.
Or snakes.
In any case, something in the dark.
I see. I love bats too.
Tereza. Jakub.
You wanna go see the bats?
It's too dark in there.
Great.
So how long have you lived here?
We moved because of the child.
Oh, so Zuzana
had been born already?
I'm not quite sure.
Tell me, when did you have
Zuzana's ears pierced?
When she was born, right?
She's got them pierced?
So we probably had them pierced.
Go to sleep.
The kids are asleep.
You may stay here.
Where here?
In the kids' bedroom.
Here you go.
I don't know.
I think I'm a puritan, too.
What a weird situation.
Hey that's life.
I can hear okay.
Exactly.
We wouldn't be Czech music, if we
didn't have a beautiful gift for you.
No more. I can't anymore.
Okay, for the last time.
I have to admit something.
But promise you won't laugh at me.
I can't promise you that.
I'll try not to laugh.
Do you know when I had
my first orgasm with you?
Now? At leastIhope so.
Sooner.
What do you mean sooner?
Already when we were at the bats.
What's wrong?
I haven't had sex for half a year.
Ah. IfIhadn't had sex for six
months I'd cum by the kangaroos.
Why by the kangaroos?
What have you got
against kangaroos?
Got nothing against bats, either.
But your parents
are really funny.
They're not my parents.
Good morning.
Tell... Hello.
Tell Mrs. Nora I'm here.
Hello.
Ms. Nora, there's a...
Are you a driver?
-A driver's here.
-I am not a driver.
I'm a boyfriend.
Sing for me a little longer.
And don't say you can't.
Let me feel this small again.
So that your heart beats for me.
Sing for me just a little
while longer...
Hi, Nora.
Bon appetit.
Sorry to disturb you.
Oh my God.
Roman, when I last saw you,
you were probably only 8 years old.
Just like you Nora,
coochie coochie.
Yes, yes.
Just like your mother.
And there will only be two shadows
left on the wall...
I remember that too.
When you sing,
I feel like I did ages ago
wrapped safely
in my grandma's blanket.
And I'm not worried
about the only thing:
When the holidays are over.
I'd like to introduce you
to my parents.
Goodness, why?
Are we gonna have a baby?
Yeah, that's exactly why.
Your mother could be my sister.
I'm old school.
Karel, what do you think,
should I go there?
Well, I wouldn't recommend it.
When I was young girl,
a long time ago now.
I climbed trees
with the boys.
And always when they broke
a branch on the tree,
they put cherries
under my blouse.
Boys?
They were curious about
what was under my blouse...
I want you to approve of her.
That's all.
So that's what this is about.
You don't want to know
whatIthink?
No. I'm anticipating.
You're anticipating. Jesus.
Hey, it's not necessary to quarrel.
And you're probably right.
I've become an unnecessary person.
Well, she's pretty.
And she's gonna be pretty for ages.
That's right.
If you love her, then she'll
stay pretty until she dies.
That's sweet.
-The eyes.
-He's still handsome.
-What year was that?
-1969.
I think that was when I went to
hear you in the Lucerna music hall.
Look at this.
Here with the doggy.
He's handsome there too, huh?
You have done a pretty good job.
I mean, today must have been
really difficult for you.
If my son did that to me,
I'd probably go crazy.
Who said life is symmetrical?
Look...
"An old barn burns really well!"
"An intimate (dis)connection"
The cherries are ripe
and the blouse is really tight.
A green branch
won't help you at all.
Maybe I'm old. But an old barn
will burn very well.
Now I'd like to invite on stage
someone I've already sung with.
ButIdon't remember it.
That's ok.
It's nice.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Did you see it?
-I did.
So what do you think about it?
I would call him ifIwere you.
Jesus, why would I call him?
Because that's exactly what people
are interested in, you know.
Thank you. Have a good night.
-Hi, Mimi.
-Hi, Mom.
These are my sons.
All three of you are alcoholics.
So you'll get along great.
I hope.
-You want a beer?
-Or a shot?
Both.
When an ass is all cold.
It's nice and tight, isn't it?
But by far the worst thing
is when their legs aren't shaved
and the hair stick out
through the stockings.
Today every woman should be shaved,
there's no other way.
-Hold on, totally shaved?
-Sure.
I don't like it down there.
I always think that that shaved
pussy looks at me in a funny way.
Every decent pussy
has to have a perm.
Has to, has to, it's
a matter of choice, huh, Oskar?
How long have you been
divorced for?
Two years.
And do you ever think
about your wife?
Honestly.
Mmm, yes, I do.
Sometimes.
Often.
Sometimes very often.
Really? Me too.
-Often?
-Often.
But me, I sometimes...
No so much anymore.
Me too, sometimes.
A lot.
Hold on, Tereza.
-Wait, wait.
-Me sometimes...but not that often.
Wait, but...
Wait, but now
I almost don't at all.
Neither do I.
Roman?
Hi, Roman, -ah no-,
I was looking for Nora.
I'm here just because of them.
I haven't seen their father
in 25 years.
How did he die?
Old age.
Go have fun somewhere.
While you're still young.
Yes. I'm available.
Okay.
Ve Svahu 13.
Velvet night club.
I'm on my way.
Good evening, safe transport.
Come in.
Did anyone order safe transport?
Safe transport anyone?
Did anyone order safe transport?
Yes. But he went back to his room.
Will you wait?
Okay. Mineral water please.
And put it on his bill.
And a double Jameson.
Put that on his bill too.
Good evening.
Hi.
-Sima.
-Hi, Simona.
An old acquaintance.
You don't recognize me, do you?
I recognized you right away.
I was just thinking, your hair
is shorter and curlier.
And a darker shade, right?
-You really remember that?
-Of course I remember that.
It's impossible to forget
such beautiful hair.
Yeah, you're right.
Simona's hair is really beautiful.
And thick. Natural.
You really remember
I had straight hair?
Of course I remember.
You don't.
You were just guessing, right?
I remember, Simona.
And don't be so formal with me.
After what we've gone through
together...
We didn't go through that much.
You kicked me out of the room
a few times
when Ma Formnkov and I made
too much noise in the bleachers.
ButIdon't remember any big moment
except for a minus in PE.
Your teacher?
This is your teacher?
Ex.
Get in line!
The students of 8B
are ready for their PE class.
Seventeen present.
Four are absent.
Why are they absent? Huh?
What's going on?
-I'd like a cocktail, may I?
-Anything.
And a big Angel,
for this big re-union of ours.
Champagne?
Of course, champagne.
I'll have some too.
Simona loves chocolate.
So, bring two chocolates.
-And the teacher wants?
-Another double Jameson.
Write it all
on the gentleman's bill.
You wanna go sit
in those comfy armchairs?
Great idea.
Just go.
I'll bring it there for you.
You probably have a lot
to talk about with your teacher.
I didn't teach you girls, did I?
-Coincidence, eh?
-Yeah.
Thank you.
Look, whatever happens tonight,
let's promise each other one thing.
We'll tell the truth, okay?
It matters to me.
Look, if you want the truth,
then I have to tell you,
the cocktails are
really expensive here.
-So, to the gentleman.
-To the gentleman.
So, how did you get here?
Or... Where did you go
after elementary school?
Nursing school.
-You didn't finish?
-I did.
-Did you apply to university?
-From the nursing school?
So right after graduation
you came here.
Look...
What wasIlike as a teacher?
You care about the feelings
of a 15 year old girl?
What do you want to know?
About the feelings
of a 15 year old girl.
OK.
I was searching for the truth
with my head raised to the sky.
And tripped over a person
who was scared of it.
I was looking for a pill
for weakness. And found myself.
I thought you took yourself too
seriously. You were enthusiastic.
Do you remember what you used
to say about the human relay race?
Sure, of course.
The essence of a teacher
isn't only to teach
prepositions or oxides,
but to bass on the baton
in the human race.
I know it sounds pathetic, but
I kind of think the same even now.
You told us that a teacher stands
on the other side of the river
from his students.
On the side of maturity.
And that classes
are just a teacher's calling,
so that the students
can eventually join him.
Well...
It was my first year teaching.
A new broom.
You know whatImean.
A lot of the girls liked you.
ButIalways liked the older ones.
For example Malt.
He always kept his distance.
He didn't fuck with anything
that mattered.
Old teachers
are usually the coolest.
-An old barn burns well, huh?
-Yeah.
So? Will you just
stick with the drinks?
Or do you wanna go upstairs?
We'll see.
After graduation I worked in
a hospital for two and a half years.
Really?
Maybe you're expecting me to tell
you howIwould carry out bedpans
and how everything around me
was dying,
but by the time I left,
I was already completely used to it.
The truth is, professor,
I came here for the money.
Well, sure.
School evidently didn't manage
to offer me more noble values.
But sometimes there's not
such a difference.
I work at night here.
I did that there too.
There I had to take out
old men's piss,
and here, for a change,
they want me to pee on them.
-Am I shocking you, professor?
-No, I'm excited.
Great.
I also realized...
No, already knew before I arrived...
I was going to like it here.
Sometimes it's disgusting.
But most of the time I like it.
It's because, professor,
I like to do it.
That's great.
Nothing better than
when your work becomes your hobby.
That's Irina. A pussycat.
She's good.
-Should I call here for you?
-No.
It doesn't mean, just because
we're sitting here together,
that you have to feel
committed to me.
I've already made my choice.
Well, I hope we're not going
to have a moral hangover, professor.
With a student.
It's gonna be tough, huh?
But first you'll take
a bath, darling.
It would be a sin,
not to take a bath in this tub.
I'll turn it off.
What's wrong?
Something with Jakub?
Hi, am I disturbing?
MayIask a few questions?
-Ask away.
-Thanks.
Until a little while ago
a man who was completely unknown...
but is now having a love affair with
a legendary singer, a top artist,
who alas is a quarter
of a century older than him...
That's the guest of this evening's
show: "1 5 minutes with a celebrity".
Celebrities
alias Czech pseudostars.
So, our listeners
would like to know,
what did your media success
take from you and give to you.
I'm much more apathetic.
As far as emotion is concerned,
I'm kind of handicapped.
Maybe I didn't catch you
in the best of moods,
so maybe it would be better
ifIcalled another time.
No, it's okay. Let's do it now.
Okay.
What about other losses?
The loss of privacy, of course.
You know. Anytime anyone can
call you from some radio station,
they want you to tell them
what's wrong with your life...
or anybody can take a picture
of you with their phone
on the street or at a gas station.
So even success
with women doesn't help?
Look... Is someone
writing you those questions?
Can't you ask something
you really want to know?
What about marriage?
I was your wife for 7 years,
remember?
Yes, I remember you, Zuzana,
very well indeed.
The problem lies elsewhere.
I read somewhere, that
the more options a person has,
the harder it is for them
to be anchored in life.
The sea of options changes
into an ocean of loneliness.
Are you able to spend
an evening alone?
I have to admit, it's become
harder and harder lately.
For example I plan
a bachelor's night in,
with good wine and a good book.
Then I sit, drink wine, read,
and it's not that much fun.
SoIturn a page, finish the bottle
and go have fun somewhere else.
In that case I'm sorry for you.
I think it won't get
any better than this.
How many times can a person
in an unknown city
turn off the main street
and not get lost?
Three times? Five times?
Eventually, when he turns off
thirty times, he just goes astray.
People are afraid to be alone.
So much that they end up
alone in the end.
What can I say?
I think we'd better play a song.
Thank you for the interview.
I'm real sorry,
but there's no much time left.
Did you get more expensive?
Come on, where's your car?
Can't you at least
clean it up a little bit?
It's clean.
NowIcould listen to
that poem of yours.
What poem?
Good evening sir,
a motorway check.
-Let me see your ID.
-It's his car.
I am just safe transport.
I don't have an ID.
-Excuse me?
-I don't have an ID.
He doesn't have an ID.
Sir, did you drink
alcohol before driving?
Of course... Not.
And would you take a breath test?
Of course.
Okay, here you go.
Take this out. Breathe normally.
Good. Thank you.
-One point eight.
-Guys, let me breathe too.
Wait. Sir.
Give it back to me.
One point two.
I could have driven myself.
Sure, you could have.
You're forbidden
to drive any further.
Turn off the engine and step out.
Sir... He closed the window.
Hello! Open up.
You're in trouble.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Hey, Jakub, come on.
Hi.
-So, tomorrow at two o'clock, okay?
-Tomorrow, okay.
Wave to your mother.
Bye.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Your suitcase. A kiss.
-Bye.
-Bye.
Here.
What are you thinking about?
You're the most beautiful woman
I've ever met.
Which one?
That one.
It's the biggest.
And I want to fish it out myself.
with my bare hands.
Are you crazy? You'll get wet.
Matj would let me.
-Matj would let you?
-Yeah.
Come on then.
Here you go.
Hold it like this.
With both hands. Like this.
Here, take it.
And hold it above your head.
I got it. I got it!
Two punches please.
Here you go.
-Eeew. What is it?
-Punch.
I've never drunk punch.
Well, then it's about time
you started.
-Is there alcohol in it?
-There's no alcohol in it.
-I don't like alcohol.
-Just drink it.
You shouldn't play with carps
in the water. In December.
Eeew. There's alcohol in it.
Is the fish still alive?
Of course the carp's still alive.
So what should we wish him?
Dear carp...
I hope you will stay healthy
and make a lot of friends soon.
You hope he makes friends...
that's a really good wish.
Put it there.
It's not dead, is it?
Of course it's not dead.
He'll be fine in a while.
Promise.
I promise he'll be fine.
The second
his blood gets oxygenated.
Turn it. It's going to pass
underneath you.
Okay.
It was dead, wasn't it?