Next on "P
[Girl cooing]
Mama!
MAN: There was a cartoon
when I was young called
"Jungle Book."
I'm sure you've
heard of it -- Disney.
Now, at the end,
Mowgli...
goes off with the men,
with the fire.
And he leaves the...
the jungle.
And I remember watching it,
and the lights
were down real low,
and I remember
I cried my eyes out.
Now, I wasn't one given
to cry much,
I mean, not about movies,
but this one made me cry.
And I was like,
"No, don't leave!
Don't go with the men!
Trust me, I mean it!
I know how horrible it is.
You do not want to," you know.
I didn't know y'all as
"neurotypicals" back then,
but you did not want to come
into society.
Trust me, it's not all
it's cracked up to be.
Not because
I hated society,
but because I thought
I knew enough
to tell them, "Oh, I wouldn't
have made that decision."
You know, I had been
abused and hurt so much by
people trying to make me normal,
that if, you know, if you went
with them,
I was like, "Oh, gosh,
they're going to be
trying to make you normal."
And that just would have --
for me, everybody else saw that
as a good thing.
I saw it as the saddest movie
I'd ever seen.
[Laughing]
MAN: All right, we're going to
get going, Violet, let's go.
GIRL: Let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go!
MAN: Time to go home.
GIRL: Come on, come on!
Come on, come on!
[Crying, screeching]
Daddy, no!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Aagh!
Ow!
[Crying]
MAN: Okay.
Okay.
GIRL: Daddy, no!
Daddy!
[Girl shrieking]
Time to go.
Stand up.
[Girl shrieking]
Stand up.
GIRL: Dad, no!
Okay.
[Girl crying]
It's okay, it's okay.
[Girl coughing]
All right.
MAN: Everything I did between
one and eight...
was basic,
almost direct prompting.
If you prompted me to do
something, I would do it.
I was really big in mimicking.
So if you showed me how
to do something,
you know, if you sat there
and you did this,
I'd do the exact same thing.
Now, it doesn't -- so that
if you didn't do this,
this part wasn't
gonna get clean.
Before eight,
there was no database.
So you could teach me
something,
but I didn't have
a place to store it.
It wasn't until I failed
third grade
that I realized you have to
store this stuff,
because when
they teach it to you,
they expect you to be able to
pull it back up.
[Cartoon sound effects]
[Elmo talking on television]
Oh, whoa!
Ah, ah, ah!
Oh, oh, oh!
Oh, yeah!
[Humming]
Try again, Mr. Noodle!
Try again.
Oh, oh!
CHILD ON TV:
Try again, Mr. Noodle.
ELMO: Try again.
WOMAN: Just because
you can't speak
the way we're
speaking right now,
it doesn't mean you're
not thinking
and that you don't have ideas
and opinions.
We get so fixated, I think,
on hitting that median,
hitting that main number.
Most kids do "X" by this age.
And if your kid doesn't
do it by that age,
there's so much anxiety
and so much worry.
I don't want to paint
this rosy picture
that just because we are very
accepting of Violet
and just because
she has her good days
and she has amazing qualities
as a human being, it doesn't
mean things are always perfect
or that we always
stay patient --
we try really hard.
We've all lost our cool
at some point or another.
I mean, what parent doesn't,
at some point, go,
"Aagh!
Why won't you just listen?!"
You know, and it's frustrating.
MAN: Here, wash your hands.
WOMAN: We didn't care if she was
autistic or not,
so why bother getting
a diagnosis,
because that's just going to
put a big stamp on her --
"autistic."
People are going
to write her off,
people are going to
underestimate her,
they're going to put her in
a little pigeonhole
of like, "Okay, you're autistic,
so this is your capacity.
And here's the regular kid,
and there's their capacity."
MAN: All right, civilization!
I came from an educated,
middle-class black family.
And we knew that education was
the way out of poverty,
and it was the way into success.
So when I failed third grade,
it was the biggest scandal
I'd ever seen.
And my grandmother went down to
University of Maryland Hospital,
and she basically told
those doctors,
"You are going to tell me
why my son failed.
What is wrong with him?"
And she knew that there was
something wrong.
My grandmother,
my great-grandmother --
everybody in the family said,
"There's something wrong
with this kid."
And three doctors came
downstairs.
And they sat there, and they
pored over
my notes and everything,
and they said, "Well,
we think it's autism."
And they said, "Well,
you have two choices.
You can put him in a hospital,
but you seem like you've got him
pretty far along.
I would suggest
whatever it is you're doing,
continue doing it."
And meanwhile, another doctor
told me what I had.
And he said, "How did you
get this far,
because you're really
remarkable?"
And I was like, "First time
I ever heard this."
And I told him, I said,
"I have systems.
Systems for everything."
And he says, "Well, keep
building the systems."
And in the room, I could hear
my grandmother crying.
Up until that time,
I had never heard her cry.
And I was mad.
I was gonna go in there and tear
somebody's head off.
But then this great big,
fat doctor --
I'll never forget him --
he was tall and he was fat.
And he walked over to my
grandmother, and he said,
"Mom," 'cause he didn't know
my mother's name.
He said, "Mom, I want you to
continue and encourage your son
in building these systems.
This is how he understands
the world,
so you're gonna have to
encourage him."
He says, "Now, Wolf,
I want you to
continue to build
the systems."
He says, "Now, Mom, when his
systems go outside
of society's norms,
I want you to tell him
so he can, you know,
chop that piece off.
And keep him inside
of the norms.
And, Wolf, when she tells you
to take a piece apart,
or take it apart, take it apart
and rebuild it."
He said, "And keep rebuilding it
until you can rebuild it
into something that works
in this society."
And I've been doing that
ever since.
What's this?
What's that?
-Four!
-What's that?
GIRL: Seven.
-What's that?
-Five.
-What's that?
-Nine.
-What's that?
-Six.
-What's that?
-Two.
-What's that?
-Three.
-What's that?
-Eight!
-What's that?
-One.
High five!
Yes!
[Laughing]
[Woman inhales]
[Exhales]
[Girl inhales]
[Woman inhales]
Boo!
[Girl shrieks, giggles]
[Playing somber tune]
We're kind of whittling it down
to the ideal for her,
of like no dairy and all.
Something to help her rigidity
and just being really open
and not treating her like
she has a disability.
WOMAN: The medication was a huge
decision, too.
We thought about that
for months.
Are we gonna put our
three-year-old
on antidepressants?
It just seemed crazy.
MAN: There's an element of not
being able
to go back after that.
That's what I was always
worried about,
is that, okay, we're going to
put her on this,
and is there any turning back?
Is there any stopping?
WOMAN: Right, she might be on it
for the rest of her life.
And, in fact, a lot of
autistic adults
take one or more medications
to help them
cope with their anxiety
and cope with depression.
VJ was at a point of frustration
when we lived in Louisa
where I'd come home from work,
and she would cry to me, like,
every day.
And something was wrong --
and she knew it and I knew it.
So -- and I had always battled
depression really badly, too,
but I'd never gotten on
medication for it.
So she goes to the doctor
and gets a pill,
and then, like, a week later,
she's like, totally -- not
a totally different person,
I'm not gonna say that.
But she's not -- she's happier,
and, like, just more even.
You know, and I was like,
"I need me some of that."
[Laughter]
[Laughing]
WOLF: There's some people that
use medication
as a chemical straitjacket,
and that's always wrong,
especially with autism
because, with autism,
you have tantrums.
And I'm still pretty good
at tantrums.
I don't think
you ever lose it.
But when I was a kid,
I was especially good.
And some people will use
medication
to just keep them quiet,
and, you know, so that they can
have a nice eight hours,
you know, working
with the kids.
And that's always
going to be wrong.
Because my tantrums
gave my parents insights
to how to help me, what things
were I having trouble with.
Now, medication is fine
as long as
the medication is only trying
to help the autistic person
work better
and work smarter.
But if it's just meant to be
a chemical straitjacket, no.
The autistic person
has to be a partner
in their success.
They have to be a partner
in growing up to be
the successful person
I've become.
The cool thing about
my family is that
they made me
a full partner.
You know, they showed me
the world the way it really is
and they said, "Wolf, this is
the world the way it really is.
You might not like it,
but you're going to have
to deal with it.
And you can't have tantrums
and you can't throw
a chair across the room,
you know, when somebody
makes you mad.
Or when somebody blows
one of your systems.
When somebody does something
you don't expect.
You can't kick everybody
in the face
just because they touch you.
You know, and that's the way
the real world is."
And my parents gave me that.
And because of that,
you know --
and if medicine helps me to calm
down to the point to where,
okay, I understand why I don't
need to kick them in the face,
then that's a good use
of medicine.
Because medicine is helping you
to keep your system calm.
But it's not calming you
so much
that you are
involuntarily calmed
and you have no input
and no part to play
in who you become.
MAN: Okay, stop.
Stop.
Turn around.
Turn around.
Go on.
GIRL: No!
[Whining]
Let's go this way.
[Girl shrieking]
GIRL: Stand up?
MAN: No, you don't have to.
I think she just wants to keep
going, keep exploring forever.
Like always, like that's...
I don't know, man,
she just doesn't...
Like she just doesn't want
to go back, you know.
It just seems to us like she'd
just want to keep walking
until she just collapsed.
You know.
And then she'd wake up,
eat some grass,
[Chuckles]
and then just keep going.
We can't figure out, you know,
like we just can't.
We know some things.
We know how she's going to react
to some things,
but like, we don't know.
She's a mystery.
That's like the whole point.
She's so mysterious,
and like you said yesterday,
really stoic.
No, thank you.
GIRL: No!
-Be a good girl, please.
GIRL: No!
MAN: Please be a good girl.
GIRL: N-N-No.
MAN: Be a good girl.
We're going to have to
go this way.
[Girl shrieks]
GIRL: Stand up?
MAN: You don't have to
stand up.
You just can't go
any further.
[Girl whines]
Just be a good girl.
[Kiss] Yes, that's right.
I mean, it was definitely
a lot easier
when we got the diagnosis,
but...
Big hug? Okay.
Oh!
[Girl whines]
MAN: I know.
I know.
That feels good on your face,
doesn't it?
[Chuckles]
Feels good on your face,
that breeze.
[Girl coos]
I don't like looking in people's
eyes for some reason.
It really distracts me.
It's something
that I actually
had to be coached
for a while to do.
I remember it was
a big thing, actually,
and I felt a little bit miffed
when I got to middle school
because half the time,
people talked to you
without looking at you.
It...
I kind of always felt like,
if people are normal,
they are allowed to act however
they want to some extent,
socially, but if people have
a syndrome,
everybody feels like they need
to improve them.
Let your buddy across.
Thanks, dudes.
Hey, Billy, can you grab
the door?
BOY: Close the thing up.
MAN: It's okay.
GIRL: Can't reach.
MAN: Hey, man,
how'd it go?
Good.
MAN: It's a predictable
question, but...
Made it through
another week.
BOY:
Yeah. Alan Wolf
came and talked to us today.
MAN: Oh, did he?
Yeah.
MAN: Did you talk to him?
-Yeah.
MAN: Did he know
who you are?
No. I just told him
he did a good job.
MAN: Oh, jeez, man,
you should have told him, uh...
You should have told him
who you were.
How? Why?
MAN: 'Cause we know him.
Oh.
MAN: His mom helped do
a poem at our wedding.
We're really good friends
with them.
-Crap.
MAN: Yeah, man.
GIRL: Okay, can we put
a dunce cap on him now?
MAN: No, he doesn't need
a dunce cap.
I just wished he'd have
told Alan.
My whole life, until I was maybe
like 22 or so,
when I was diagnosed,
I thought that the reason people
made small talk --
you know, like standing in line
at the grocery store,
and, "oh, nice day today" --
I thought that the reason people
did stuff like that
was because they had nothing
interesting
to think about
inside their heads.
So, I thought that most of
the rest of the world
were a bunch of idiots
with no thoughts.
So, if somebody was friendly
and said like, "Oh, nice day!"
I didn't really -- sometimes I'd
just be like, "Mm-hmm, yeah."
'Cause I just didn't see
the point
in carrying on a conversation
when, one, this person
was being really rude.
They're interrupting
my thought process.
I had interesting things
going on up here.
You know, they want to talk
to me about the weather?
What?
And my dad explained to me,
people get
little positive vibes from
interacting with other people,
even strangers, and even on
really benign things.
He said, "It's like when you
play the Sims
and they get little plus signs
above their head
when they talk to each other."
And I was like, "Huh."
So that was
why people did that.
I was like, I don't feel like
I get little plus signs
above my head
when I talk to people.
And I still don't, but like I
understand that other people do.
So now I engage
in small talk more,
because I respect
other people more,
because I'm understanding
their behavior.
And I no longer think
that people are idiots.
WOMAN: You're eating so quick
that I thought
maybe something really
interesting was going on.
MAN: You anxious
to get back to the game?
Hmm?
BOY: Yeah.
MAN: You got homework?
[Boy mumbling]
MAN: Okay.
WOMAN: Thank you.
[Chuckling]
MAN: Nonverbal cues.
People take them for granted.
But trust me, when you don't
pick up on them,
there's nothing
that's more important.
Um, how to have
a conversation
without...
without taking it over,
or without losing interest
and getting bored.
"I'm sorry,
what were you saying?
I just, you know,
was in outer space."
I had to literally analyze
how did people,
how did they converse?
What you do is, first, make sure
you learn their name.
A person's own name
is their favorite word
in the whole wide world,
always remember that,
so use it.
And you can actually convince
them that you're listening
if all you do is just repeat
the last three to four words
of what they're saying.
It works like magic.
They will continue talking,
mesmerized
by your validating
what they're saying
by repeating
the last three words.
They're going on and on
and on.
"Oh, yeah, and then he
practically went off the cliff."
Off the cliff?
"Yeah, off the cliff.
He lost control of the car,
and the next thing you know,
he rolled it and he got out.
He couldn't believe he walked
away from the wreck
and everybody was fine,
and it was just amazing!"
And then you just follow,
"Amazing."
And they're so captivated
by you.
And it's probably best
not to talk,
because, as somebody
with Aspies,
you might not pick up on
the nonverbal cue
as to when you're going on
a little bit too long
or being
a little bit too revealing.
Um, not censoring properly.
But trust me, there's verbal
cues that people give off,
so, when in doubt,
just repeat the last three words
of whatever they're saying.
They'll go on for hours.
And they will talk about you
as if you were
the greatest thing
next to the iPhone.
Oh, my God!
[Off-screen laughter,
indistinct conversation]
I don't know.
A lot of the girls in Morganton
I just can't relate to.
[Sighs]
Some of them are just
mean as hell and...
Some...
Some are nice, but I just can't
relate to them.
We don't have much in common.
There's one girl that
kind of liked me.
Her name was Sarah.
We went out once.
Uh...
[Scoffs]
As far as music, she was onto
like Christian rock
and stuff like that and...
I like alternative rock,
some metal,
and...
some old rap.
So...
We didn't really have much
in common.
She didn't play video games
or anything.
She's on Runescape,
sometimes, but that's about it.
Uh...
And she didn't skateboard
or anything.
WOMAN: I read
Entertainment Weekly
because I'm obsessed with
reading movie reviews now.
I read that
apparently "Grey's Anatomy"
is getting
this female doctor
with Asperger Syndrome.
And, you know, ordinarily, you'd
think that was really good,
but they mention that
her problems are going to be
like communicating with people,
and that she's going to be
one of the only characters
on the show
who doesn't end up having sex.
And I felt like I wanted to barf
when I heard that, because
I don't want this doctor to just
teach them a bunch of lessons
about how lucky they are
or something trite like that.
I want her to actually have
experiences out of this, too.
So I hope that the writers
allow her to make mistakes
and have like relationships.
'Cause it is possible
for people with autism
to be romantically involved
with other people, you know.
Just because Temple Grandin
doesn't do it
doesn't mean
that it never happens.
You know, people
might look at me
and maybe they think I'm
attractive, maybe they don't.
It really doesn't matter
if you are or not
because some people are going to
not find you attractive
and other people are just
going to think,
you know, that you are
just a god.
But whether you are or not,
it's always like really hard
to flirt.
I mean...
So I just always...
develop like these rules.
Like, okay, um...
she touches me on my arm,
that's a green light for me
to move closer in.
She touches me on my leg,
she wants me to kiss her.
Um...
If I don't know,
and I want to go for --
and I'm really, really, really,
really nervous,
and I don't know what to do
to initiate
a good-night kiss
or something like that,
what I'll do is
I'll touch her hair
and I'll compliment her hair
being extraordinarily soft
or something.
And if she backs away,
I know that she doesn't want me
to kiss her good night,
and I don't know why,
but at least for me,
I don't know, it's a crutch
that I use
to hobble into
the kiss good night.
Um, but, you know,
I really don't know what
I'm doing.
I sometimes think that I'm,
you know, almost incompatible
because of my Aspies.
And it's funny because people
might think,
"Well, gosh,
you seem really normal."
Yeah, well, you don't have
to live with me.
And it's usually when people
only get to really know me
that all these behaviors
creep out
and they get frustrated
and...
The only difference now is,
having been diagnosed
with Asperger Syndrome,
I know better than to try
and change myself.
MAN: I don't get instructions
verbally very well,
and I would always
just kind of look around
and try to figure out
what's going on in the gym.
And with tag, it's apparent
that being "it" is not desirable
because the person who's "it"
tries to tag someone else
so that they're "it."
I was never tagged,
and so I just assumed
that I was really great at tag
and I was winning.
And no one chased me.
I was just standing
in the gym, winning.
[Chuckles]
But it was really boring.
And one day I just left,
I just took a walk
in the corridors,
and somebody went after me
and herded me back to the gym
and informed me that
not being tagged
is not actually winning
at tag,
that you actually are supposed
to be tagged.
And while I don't remember that
she used this word specifically,
essentially she said,
"Well, you're just supposed to
get in there and frolic,
go frolic, you're a kid."
And so then I was back
in the gym,
back in the tag game,
still standing in the gym
but I wasn't winning anymore.
So...
And I wasn't frolicking, either.
[Laughter]
I lack that gene.
So I gave way more thought
to the game of tag
for the next several years
than anyone should.
And I figured out that being
"it" is desirable
and you pretend
that it's not desirable.
But since it really is
desirable,
you only try to tag people
that you like.
And nobody, to my knowledge,
disliked me.
But very few people even
really knew me,
so I wasn't tagged.
So being "it" is desirable
and you pretend that it's not.
And then, much later,
in college,
I realized that there's only
one sense, not five,
and the one is touch.
That what we call touch is the
least sensitive form of touch.
That when you see,
you've got light
hitting the backs
of your eyes,
and when you hear, sound is
hitting your eardrums,
and when you taste,
you've got taste receptors
that are engaging
actual molecules.
So everything is
a form of touch,
and so I decided that tag
could be way more subtle
than it was ever played
in grade school.
Like if I say "tag," I just hit
your eardrums and you're it.
Or if I write "tag" on a piece
of paper and I hold it up
and you read it,
I just hit the back of
your eyeballs and you're "it."
So that made it more fun
in my mind.
And then the last realization
I made about tag --
and I think that finally ended
the process for me --
is that you don't tag somebody
to make them "it,"
you tag somebody
to remind them
that they are "it."
And everybody in a particular
group of people
is "it" to each other
and reminding each other
of that fact
is kind of the game.
And you can do that in ways
other than
just smacking somebody.
I don't know, sometimes
I think like,
what if this person ruled
the world?
Would it be better
or would it be worse?
Would it be
better than if...
I was in charge
of the world?
Or something...
I don't know, if like I were
in charge of the world,
then there would probably be
at least a billion people
who wouldn't agree with me
on a bunch of stuff.
Um...
I don't know, I just...
I just feel like I think
differently than everyone else.
Like...
Like sometimes I take more
things into consideration
and...
Um...
I'm not sure how
to explain it.
But then sometimes when people
ask me a question, uh...
I don't really get what they
mean until 10 minutes later.
Then I'm like, "Oh, my God, how
could I have been so stupid?"
Ooh, look at the water
swirling around.
Wow.
On June 6, 2006 --
which is 06-06-06,
kind of a cool number --
but I was reading
an index for a book
and I saw the acronym "PDD,"
and I didn't know what it was,
so I looked it up online,
and it said,
"Pervasive Developmental
Disorder,"
and I was getting ready
to close the page,
because that wasn't that
interesting to me,
and then I saw a link
to "high-functioning autism,"
and it was like a little voice
in my brain said,
"Click on that, you're going to
find out something interesting."
So I clicked on it, I read about
my whole life story.
I printed it out and I took out
all the references
to higher functioning or autism
and I handed it to my husband
and I said, "Read this,
right now."
And then I went off into
the bathroom or something
and he was out in the kitchen
and I heard him going,
"Oh, my goodness!
What is it?"
[Chuckles]
So I knew that --
And I said,
"Is it kind of like me?"
And he said, "Yeah."
And then I said,
"I want a percent.
Is it 27% like me?"
"100%."
-i want to ask you something.
BOY: What?
When you keep looking
at the water,
does it make you feel
really happy?
Or is that just me?
No, that's just you.
[Woman laughs]
It's just me.
Oh, well.
My first reaction to finding out
that I was probably autistic
was, I want to go tell everybody
because now they'll know why
I'm the way I am, and I was
really excited about it.
But a few hours later, after I
had read so many websites
about, you know, it's
a devastating and dark disorder,
I thought, maybe I'm not going
to tell everybody.
But anyway, I posted a question
and I said,
"Do you tell people
or do you need to hide it?
Would you just tell
your family, your friends?
What do you do?"
And the first person
who wrote back said,
he did not hide
what his neurology was
and that he wasn't
ashamed of it,
and that he let his actions
speak for themselves.
And I just took that
and I thought --
because I don't usually
go around hiding who I am.
I probably would tend more
going up to people on the street
going, "Hi, I'm Paula.
I'm autistic.
How are you today?"
Not really, 'cause I'm too shy
to do that,
but it would be more my nature
to do something like that.
It finally made sense
to a lot of the stuff
that I couldn't understand.
So I'm going, okay,
now we can...
put a name on it
or whatever.
Just help figure it out
a little bit.
And that was about
two years ago,
and actually I think
things have...
kind of taken a turn
for the worse in some respects
at that point in our lives.
It's, okay, you know something
about yourself now, you know.
But where's the accountability
for it?
It's like I'm putting up with
somebody who just can do
and be anything they want,
and I have to just deal with it.
It's like me being
an alcoholic drinking.
If I was just out getting drunk
every night, coming back,
you just deal with it,
you know,
and I don't think that's fair
for some reason.
It's becoming to a point
in our lives
where it's a big confrontation
about how we even deal
with each other.
MAN: Everyone has differences.
And it's when they get to be
these thresholds that we --
and are syndromes
that we've identified
and put a label on it.
And for the Asperger's,
they're channeling everything
through this rational processor
versus the emotional one.
Maybe you all know,
what do they call
the other side of the spectrum?
'Cause it's a bell curve.
And if we're over here,
who's over here?
And we all know
the hysterical people.
They can't seem to just process
this information rationally.
That would be me.
Yes, I know!
[Chuckles]
And your mother.
Good God!
It's like, "God, can't you just
look at this rationally?"
And so you can imagine
this relationship,
your opposites attract?
Yes, here we are,
the Asperger going after
whatever this hysterical,
emotional group is called.
And, I don't know, does DSM-IV
have a name for that?
You know what, it's not
"hysterical-emotional."
I said, I'm looking
for a nicer name.
Whenever you talk women,
you're talking touching.
And I don't want
to be touched.
And intimate touching
more than anything -- no.
No, no, no.
I...
That's...
No, no.
I mean, the most I ever want to
do when it comes to touching
is hug, that's it.
It's just enough touching for me
to imprint the event,
truly imprints on my brain.
And if it's a good, if it's
a person I really love,
the pain of the touching
is over...
you know, is overshadowed
by the fact
that I want to have that memory
for as long as I can.
Because, you know, it's actually
something beautiful
to look back on.
That's the only thing
that I want,
and as for romance,
oh, gosh!
Think about it.
Romance is filled with innuendo
and hints.
"Oh, Wolf, I really think
that those ice-cream cones
look delicious!"
You know, and, I mean,
now I know
because I've got a more
sophisticated scripting system.
If you want ice-cream
from me, you have to say,
"Wolf, I'd like
to have some ice cream."
And that's the other thing.
When I come home,
I have to create this --
I call it
a pseudotypical.
That is "fake typical."
See, it's not a neurotypical,
because trying to be
exactly like you,
can't do it.
So I create
a pseudotypical.
A person who I know, going in,
is fake.
So it doesn't have to be
perfect,
it just has to be
my best effort.
So the thing is, I generate
this pseudotypical all day.
I go to work and I pretend --
I come as close as I can
to being Joe Normal.
And working with people and not
biting their heads off
when they do
the stupid things.
So, now I come home.
Now, when I come home, I can
drop the pseudotypical act.
And I can let
the werewolf out.
That's why I wore
this shirt.
I can let him out,
and I can be
as wild and as crazy
and there's nobody in here
to offend but me.
But if I had to come home
to a wife,
you have to still keep
that pseudotypical thing up.
And at that point, the only time
I would get rest
is when I go to sleep,
and I couldn't live like that.
Okay, YouTube, are we doing...
BOY: Tornado animations.
Tornado animations?
BOY: Yeah, we're going to do
some animation demo videos.
BOY: Bleh!
Now it's like a whole building
burned down.
Looks like a big building.
Having a diagnosis
was like a really good,
positive thing.
And I've made a lot of friends
who are kind of more like me
and they're kind of like,
we're working on
our friendships
in our own kind of way
that aren't like
a typical friendship,
which I never could figure out
and I was not --
I mean, I've had friends
across the years,
but mostly I haven't.
And now I probably
have more people
that I'm kind of
close to
than I ever have had
before.
But I don't know that it
helped me
in my relationship
with you.
I think it actually
has gotten worse.
You want me to say
why that is?
'Cause Larry spends
a whole lot of money
and he went into
a lot of debt
and he talked me into
refinancing the house
and the debt is like,
it won't even get paid off
until I'm 67, and that's if I
work full-time until I'm 67,
and so I'm like stressed out
and either depressed
or anxious or both like I've
been for every day
since April 2006.
It's $120,000.
That's not huge.
For me and the fact that
it won't be paid off till
I'm 67, it's huge.
And I don't take vacations,
I don't eat.
LARRY: Well,
join the real world.
It's only the real world
for people who screw up
on their finances and get talked
into believing that...
LARRY: And you're not going to
let go of that resentment
the rest of your life.
It's both a resentment
and it's also a reality.
It's a blessing in disguise for
you because I think you found
a really, really big part
of your life that you just
needed to find, you know, and
that's cool that you found out.
I guess I'm not figuring how I
fit in the whole thing.
You know, and that's what I
told you, you know.
But, you know, if that
doesn't work,
then I don't want any more
of this, you know.
Well, that's mostly why I just
try and go off
and have my own life.
LARRY: Let's do that, then.
-But I'm just living here, so...
LARRY: So am I.
We can't figure it out by
ourselves, I can tell you that.
So at least we had a...
Do a pinkie thing about
trying to make it work.
I don't know, I don't
like to be touched.
LARRY:
All right, here it is.
Starting right here,
we're going to try to get
something resolved.
-Don't twerk my pinkie.
-All right.
Okay, that's good.
MAN: I believe that, uh...
oddness results
in cultural content.
That when you can channel surf
and you hit the Olympics
and watch some guy do several
flips and twists and turns
off of the high-dive
and hit the water,
and you can go,
"Ooh, that was amazing"
and then move on
to another channel.
And you cannot really be
conscious of the fact
that that person's life
for years
has been nothing
but diving.
And...
That's pretty odd, you know,
to have your life
be absolutely nothing
but diving.
But that's how you get
that good at diving.
And that, that kind of
obsession, compulsion,
oddness, intensity, that results
in cultural content.
WOLF: I look
at neurotypical life,
and I'm sorry, I don't really
want to be one of you.
I mean, no disrespect,
but I don't want
to be neurotypical
because I'm not --
I mean,
I'm not particularly...
impressed that it is
a better way of life.
It's a different way of life,
and I celebrate the difference
and I embrace the difference,
the same way I embrace
people that are white or I
embrace people that are Chinese
or that I embrace people that
are in any way different.
But I don't want to be
neurotypical.
I'm happy being what I am.
And I think a person who's going
to come out
and try and "cure" me because
I make them uncomfortable,
I think they need to deal
with themselves.
'Cause I'm not uncomfortable.
[Dog whimpering]
GIRL: Yaaay!
Yay!
What's that song
you know?
I'll sing it 'cause you started
clapping your hands. Oh!
If you're happy and you
know it, clap your hands
If you're happy and you
know it, clap your hands
If you're happy
and you know it
And you really
wanna show it
If you're happy and you
know it, clap your hands
If you're happy and you
know it, say hooray
Hooray!
If you're happy and you
know it, say hooray
Hooray!
If you're happy
and you know it
And you really
wanna show it
If you're happy and you
know it, say hooray
GIRL: Hooray!
WOMAN: Yay!
I know you have
another one.
[Girl singing softly]
WOMAN:If you're happy
and you know it...
Ha ha!
GIRL:Happy and you know it,
then show it...
WOMAN: Yay!
Arms go like this.
Wait, now more.
Lower -- No, that's too much.
We've got to get one of
those cattle squishing things.
PAULA: This is easier and it
doesn't take up space.
[Laughs]
BOY: Well, I'm just coming
out here to say bye.
[Laughter]
LARRY: Squish?
PAULA: Yeah, squish.
You know how, like when
you take a deep breath...
BOY: Pick me up!
PAULA: ...'cause you're like
really relaxed? Yeah!
I'm feeling really relaxed
right now.
It works faster than
prescription drugs for me.
LARRY: What were you watching?
BOY: Um, how to build stuff.
PAULA, CHUCKLING:
Oh, I'm so calm.