I really think that what you two
are doing... I just think it's fantastic.
You both, you know, been
through this before,
So you know the crap that
you have to deal with when you see
The same person
every single day.
No, it's absolutely the
perfect setup for us,
Because, you know,
we're both very busy...
yeah.
I work days, she works nights...
so essentially, we only get to see
each other on the weekends...
and I get to watch my nick games
without any interruptions...
yeah, I get up at noon,
I have my coffee in peace,
I don't talk to anyone...
we all know how much
I love the mornings.
So, the real upside to
this you never actually...
have to see each other.
That's exactly right.
Therefore never get on
one anothers' nerves.
Hmm!
I will say, absence really does
make the heart grow fonder.
And makes for much hotter sex,
I might add.
No, David, the details!
It's true.
You don't what to hear
about last night, Marsha?
- Tell us.
- It's pretty nice...
How's your forehead?
... like, baby?
Oh. It's a little tender,
a little bruised.
Your sort of like
"legally bound fuck buddies", is that it?
No, no! Listen we...
we just are both on
our second marriages,
And we're trying to be like,
a little more realistic
This time around,
what we need...
or what we don't need.
Like I am fully aware
That I have since received my last
blowjob and Im okay with it.
Stop. That's enough already!
Please, this is supposed
to have a nice lunch!
You know what Laverne
says though.
- What?
- The best laid plans of mice and men,
Often go astray.
I have no idea what
that means.
Can you translate, please?
No... I think he might be
saying that eventually you will
Want a blowjob
and your needs downplayed.
We're the first to admit
that we're hardly like...
a perfect match.
But we see one another infrequently
enough that I think, um
We can go the distance here,
huh Bev?
He's kidding, he's kidding.
- Oh my god.
- Of course. We are very much in love!
We're just... we're being a
little more sensible, somehow.
Oh, that... you know their
whole relationship upsets me.
I mean that my sister and I
We were brought up in a very strict,
catholic household.
And... we were taught
to believe that...
Marriage is... is... sacred!
And to be respectful of that.
And... I don't know...
talking about oral sex
over brunch...
is not being respectful.
I heard that if you
do not wake up at least
One morning a week, and look
at your partner and think:
"I have made a terrible mistake".
Then there's actually
something wrong.
With your marriage.
Yeah well, Marsha feels
that way every morning.
So what is that
is normal for you?
Okay, listen... look,
this whole conversation is very,
Very upsetting to me.
No... it is.
Marriage is something
that's very special.
Oh Marsha. It is.
It's a sacrament, it is!
You should get
married because...
you want to share
your life together!
You know, not because
she gives good head.
I think you missed
the point I was making.
Um... she doesn't give good head.
In fact she doesn't give head at all!
Enough!
The problem with
your argument is that
We didn't actually
get married because...
it was so special...
and it was a sacrament...
and we were so in love.
That's why I got married!
I mean after 18 years together
And you didn't ever feel some
other motivating factor?
- You've been married 18 years?
- Wow. Sounds awesome!
I know. I'm just saying... that...
okay.
- When I proposed were in love.
Great. But... - Yeah?
Okay...
when I was picturing my life...
you know,
mapping it out in front of me...
I thought, you know "maybe"...
just "maybe"
That I could be a bit of
a music career for me.
What musical career?
Come on.
I do not know "what musical
career," that's my whole point.
That's my fault, you didn't
have a music career.
I'm just saying if you
hadn't of got pregnant,
We wouldn't have got married
right away, would we?
I'm just not understanding
what your saying.
It's sounding like your
regretting getting married to me.
I'm not regretting anything!
I'm just saying
Let's not pretend that it was this
beautiful lovey thing...
when we have practicalities
to deal with.
We didn't get married,
then, who knows?
We would have got
to know each other,
And started a career maybe...
right, and then you never
would have married me.
Yeah, I hear you.
No I hear what you say.
Look!
You've been married for 18 years!
You know,
you got that terrific kid,
He's in a great school...
I would say like...
I don't know... if it...
if it ended today
You could probably call
it a success, right?
Look, I didn't mean to put
a damper on the brunch
But quite honestly, you know...
they're miserable.
I mean, maybe what I should have
done was just... been honest.
No, actually that would
have made things worse...
because then I would have said:
"Look, you two hate one another,
just get a divorce already,"
And then... I don't have to go to
these miserable lunches anymore.
I don't know why we don't
do that more often.
You know, so much fun.
Once a week just isn't enough.
Oh! I know! Can you believe he
said that, about their marriage?
In front of us?
I know. Even if you feel that way...
you should try to keep
that shit to yourself.
Truly! I don't like
your blowjob comment.
Just for the record, I would give you
a blow job if you really wanted one.
Really? I wouldn't be happy
about it, but I would do it.
Well that is good to know,
because as you know
I have a birthday coming up... so.
I never told you that.
Yeah... look what Ive done...
well, you know, you can forget the uh...
the tie?
I got you some really nice socks.
- Socks?
- Yeah.
- You would rather have a blow job?
- You know, I jacked off into those socks.
I'd much rather have a blow job.
I think relationships
should be easy.
I mean, my first marriage
was full of drama,
And um... it was a nightmare.
So it was such a relief to
meet someone so...
So... "drama free".
Yeah you know.
A lot of these relationships
Have so many unnecessary
complications
Like my first wife, was...
Insane.
A challenge. Alright?
So it was very nice
to meet someone
With a very even
keel personality,
In all, a rational human being!
Thank you. Um...
I really think those are for like
people that are like...
On each other all the time, you know..
They're knit picking. And um...
we made a promise, day one, that we
werent gonna do that, you know?
- We werent gonna... - Micro manage,
and sweat the small stuff and...
Yeah. Yeah.
I don't know, maybe it's unrealistic.
But the thing is... maybe this
honeymoon period that were in...
could, you know...
last forever.
There you go.
Hey!, Dara?
Hey, what can I do for you?
Uhh... yeah, hold on.
Hey babe, it's your call.
It's Dara.
Fine. Let him up.
Alright, ah... come on up, man.
What do you, what do
you want me to tell him?
Are you here? Are you at work?
- No, no. Tell him... tell him um...
Im taking a nap. - Okay.
Okay, and baby
please don't give him any money.
I won't give him any money,
I promise.
Yes, right.
I promise! I don't have any to spare!
I got married to Dara...
in a moment of... confusion.
I don't know, he sort of seemed...
dark and mysterious.
And then I grew up and he didn't,
and... I realized
He wasn't dark and mysterious.
Just mostly an alcoholic.
Hey there, Shakespeare!
Hey! Is Katie in?
I just wanted to ask her something.
You know, she is, but she's
actually taking a nap.
Ah. Look, just for the record...
I don't have any money to give you,
as you know.
And Katie...
I know already told you
she can't give you another cent. So...
why must you assume
Im looking a handout?
A gentleman can't just
pop by and say hello?
You know, the unannounced
visit from the ex-Husband
On a Sunday evening...
usually not ah...
the best idea...
as much as I am
always very happy to see you.
So. What can I do for you?
Oh, nothing.
I was just in the area.
Have an audition for
a Broadway play, actually.
Thou nature art by go death.
To thy law thy services are blood.
Yeah Dara is not a terrible guy.
He's just mm...
an actor.
Alright, look,
to be perfectly truthful here...
there was no audition.
I am a little low on funds.
So if you got a couple of bucks...
Id really appreciate it.
How are you even surviving?
I mean, where do you even live,
these days?
A girl...
she's out of town doing resell theatre
At the moment,
so she allowed me to crash at her place.
You know what I can do for you?
I got a bunch of shit here that was going
to give to St. Vincents for Paul.
Alright?
Maybe you can sell it on e-Bay
Get yourself, 50 bucks, 100 bucks.
Still works... so...
Okay... Ill take it.
Alright. Thanks buzz.
Always a pleasure.
I know buzzy was trying
to do the right thing
By giving me the
vacuum cleaner to sell...
but I don't own a computer, so...
Im not gonna have much luck
selling it on websites.
But Ill certainly try
and sell it on the streets.
Coast is clear.
Hey babe, look.
For the record..
I have no idea what you
ever saw in that guy.
Oh, I was very young.
I was, you know,
trying to do my tortured artist face.
How much did you give him?
Why do you assume
I gave him anything?
Because, I know you.
How much?
You know the uh...
The old vacuum cleaner? That I was
gonna drop off at St. Vincents, to Paul?
What?
Why?
Look, he can sell it on e-Bay!
He can get a couple
of bucks for that.
Oh my god, you're such a pushover.
He seemed desperate.
Why do you have such a soft
spot for my ex-Husband?
Look, I feel bad for the guy, alright?
Look, he had a shot at glory
with you and he blew it,
And now Ive got you.
So I am somewhat
empathetic for the cause.
When I married you, I inherited
your family, right?
So I got to deal with
the crazy Irishman,
I got your nutty sister,
her Looney husband,
And I am just trying
to do the right
Thing by all of them?
Okay?
Besides, Im sure if the
roles were reversed...
you would do the same
thing for me, would you not?
I don't know about that, actually.
You don't see me inviting
your psycho ex-Wife over, for tea.
Do you think that's true,
what we were talking about at brunch,
That we're a successful couple,
because we never see each other?
Yes, absolutely
I think it's important to maintain
A safe, but a distance,
because otherwise
Your gonna get
completely sick of me.
Wait, but, what if like
something happens...?
Where we had to
see each other a lot?
Like what if I got pregnant,
or something?
Are you pregnant?
No! No.
Are you sure?
Yes, Im sure.
I sure. No, because
I remember that one night
A month ago, we both had
a little too much to drink. I...
Im not pregnant
I was just...
it was a hypothetical.
If we suddenly like, you know,
had to spend a lot of time with each other.
Would we fall apart?
No, we would not fall apart,
But Im just a...
a little... confused...
That you... we were definitely on the
same page about children. I mean...
Yeah, I... I...
don't want children.
It was...
it was purely hypothetical.
All right.
That's all. Just, you know,
Want to make sure we'd be...
we could roll with it.
Absolutely, yeah. I mean... yes!
We can handle whatever
life throws at us.
Do me a favor.
How do you spell
vasectomy, though?
Hello? 'Hi, Im looking
to Buzzy ORourke.
Ok... ahh... is working, who is?
I'm his sister, Linda.
Right. His sister... okay um...
hi.
Oh, well his half-Sister anyway.
We have the same
piece of shit father.
Hey. Listen uh... can I come up?
It's pretty cold out here
And Im not exactly
appropriately dressed.
Sure um... Im actually about
to go to work, but...
Yeah, uh. Come up. Come up.
Hi, oh my god! Hello,
you must be Katie!
Hi.
And you must be Linda!
Oh my god, you are gorgeous!
Thank you, thank you. Wow.
You're welcome.
Oh, you know. I just wanted to say Im
so sorry that I missed the wedding.
Oh. Don't worry about it.
I really wish I could have been there,
But I... I just couldn't get off work.
You know how it is.
Ah, come in, come in.
Oh, wow! Look at this place!
Oh my god, it's huge.
You guys must be loaded!
Hey. Do you have something to drink?
Like a beer or something maybe?
Yeah, sure.
Oh thanks!
Cause you know,
I just got off the plane...
And... um... it's so err... stressful,
you know, traveling and everything.
And all that traffic in New York.
Is Heineken good?
Oh yeah, that's great.
Just as long as it's cold, um...
and you know, that's actually one of
the reasons I had to get out of la.
Thank you.
Cause ah... you know,
the traffic is just awful.
Yeah, totally, um...
did... did...
you tell buzzy that you were coming?
Cause he didn't mention it to me.
Really?, I mean, I called him
like a month ago
And told him that
I was thinking about coming.
Oh. Oh. What time does
he get off of work, anyway?
Um...
in a couple of hours, around 7.
Oh. Okay great! Well ah...
Im just gonna go take a shower, freshen up.
Is there a good place
I can put my stuff down?
Uh... yeah um... the.. The...
there's a spare bedroom,
over in back.
Perfect, Ill go get
out of your way.
I know you said you
have to get to work
And um... thank you so much
for letting me stay here. I just...
Yeah. And I want you to know, uh...
don't be worried...
Im only gonna stuck around
until I find my own place.
Beautiful, totally beautiful.
Um... you know, he had really
talked about having a sister,
I mean I, I sort of
vaguely knew he had one
I think we invited her to the
wedding but she didn't come.
So when she just arrived
and then expected to stay
I was a little surprised.
Hey! I have a surprise for you.
Guess who I rang our buzzer this morning?
Your sister!
My ss... oh shit.
Don't tell me that she
actually showed up.
Yep! Um... I just left
her in the apartment.
I'm assuming my jewelry is safe?
I don't know that I can
actually guarantee that.
Well, then you better get home.
Alright, look. I got...
I got one more client
I gotta finished up with,
And then, I promise, I will race home,
I will take care of this.
Did you um... did you
know that she was coming?
She called me a couple
of months ago and said
She was thinking about leaving la,
Saving up for an air fare.
But I mean, I never thought that she
would actually show up.
Well she did and, she is under
the impression that she's staying with us.
She made herself right at home,
in the guest room. Fuck!
Alright babe, look.
I will take care of this.
We'll put her up in a hotel or...
No, no. It's totally fine.
I mean, you know, she's your sister.
I'm your wife, so...
we'll do the right thing.
Cool. Thank you.
Alright. See you tonight.
See you.
I know Linda was a pretty
screwed up kid.
You know, our dad died
when she was 16 and...
then she ran away
from home after that,
Moved out to la, so...
in Los Angeles...
not a recipe for success.
Guess who?
Ah... you know, Im just...
Im in town!
And ah... I just wanted
to call and say hi.
See how you've been.
How you been?
I need to see you. I'm here.
I'm in new York.
I thought maybe we
could get together.
I'm did hear actually.
Where'd you guys go
on your honeymoon?
Was it nice?
Come on. I just...
I just want to see ya.
You still there?
Listen don't be an jackass.
Just meet me for a drink, okay?
Yeah, okay. Hey!
Thanks.
Are you kidding me?
Oh my god!
I don't believe this!
Hi.
Your in N.Y.
Yeah. Here I am.
Wow. All the luck.
I was just rushing home
From work, to say hello.
But where are you off to?
Yeah. I'm on my way to meet a
friend for a drink right now.
But Im really glad
that I ran into you.
I'm kind of in shock.
Look at you, your all grown up.
When was the last time I saw you?
God. I must have been
a teenager still, huh.
You know when it was?
It was dad's funeral.
Yeah, that's right.
Neither one of us cried.
You still speak to your mom at all?
Or...
No. No I don't.
You know, and I don't have any plans to ah..
Reach out to her anytime soon either.
I can not say I blame you, either.
Um... is that Katies coat?
Oh, yeah, oh you know... 1
I just... I came right from la and
I was really unprepared for the weather,
Which is crazy,
by the way, and um...
I hope she doesn't mind.
Do you think it will be alright?
No, no. I'm sure it's cool.
You should know, though, that
I did not... I forgot to mention
maybe that you might be coming.
Because I didn't know
that it was set in stone.
Oh!... well that explains
why she was so weird this morning...
I mean, a little weird.
Um, look. I got to run, actually.
To go meet my friend but um...
Ill see you later, we'll catch up,
Maybe we can talk some more, you know.
I will be home all night so.
Excellent! Okay.
So see you then, alright!
Yeah. Welcome to N.Y.
And see you tonight, right?
Yeah absolutely. Yeah.
I'll see you later. Alright.
I don't know what buzzy
would say if you asked him this, but
I felt really close to him growing up,
you know.
He... he um...
was in the house all the time,
And when I was a kid... and uh...
Im really glad that I can come and...
see him for a little bit, I think and...
I don't know... reconnect with him.
Linda... what can I say about Linda?
You know what. I...
I can't say I really know her that well.
I was already off in college
When she was a little kid and...
you know I don't...
I don't really have any memories of her.
I miss him. I really do.
How does one book like more studio
time here... cause my band um.
How many in your band?
Um... there's me and three other guys.
You know, my wife owns the studio
we live upstairs so...
Oh cool. She's out at, you know she goes
to the country on the weekends.
It's this time that you know,
I can sort of sneak you in.
How old are you?
Well... how old are you?
Really?
Yeah.
Well that's good.
I was born in '87.
Mm mm. Hmmm.
I see.
And where were you in '87?
Well that's ah...
it's a long history, actually.
Yeah. I think I have
a good daddy complex.
Oh my god, you're
giving me a heart attack.
But I can't believe you
did that in one stint.
I know. And he didnt
even get this part here...
- what?
- See you later.
- What?
- What are you doing?
What do you mean? Nothing.
Why don't you just ask her out?
You know.
I mean, Im sitting right here,
but you know...
why don't her just ask her out?
I mean you know.
What do you mean ask her out?
I'm not... Im going over...
No. I can see you!
Through the glass, I can hear... pt.
P.T. Did you see him?
Did he not try to fuck or what?
Don't... get drawn into this!
Marsha, we've just
gone over the lines
And you're making
a big deal about this.
I do not understand this.
Don't lie to me.
I'm not lying to you!
That's all we were
talking about it!
Okay. Now you're the writer?
Youre the writer? And the musician?
And the owner of the studio?
Marsha. You know what?
No. That would be my job, okay?
You are here because of me.
You know nothing!
You know nothing!
You have this job because of me.
Don't you?
Alright?
Because I shouldn't really
sit here and have to watch you
Try to fuck some girl
While Im standing
right here in the room!
If you're gonna do it, do it in private!
You're just turning into
a disgusting old man.
I am a musician, I... I had
ideas, I had dreams
That I could ah...
do something creatively, but...
I don't know... they got squashed.
Thanks for keeping me waiting
here for 2 hours, by the way.
I couldn't get a cab and I
had to come all the way from queens.
Ok! But I mean... 2 hours! Really?
So what are you doing in new York?
I came for you.
You came for me?
I think your about 10 months
too late for that.
Yeah, so I see.
Why didn't tell me you were getting married?
Well, I told you I met someone
and it was getting serious.
I told you that.
Yeah, but that's a lot different
than saying "I do".
When you left L.A. I didn't think
the next time I saw you, you'd be married.
You know, I should get out of here.
What is this? Do you still hate me?
Is that what this is about?
No, I don't hate you,
But I don't want to have
these conversations, Linda.
Well, he took the job after
I said I wouldn't marry him.
I guess um...
I didn't think I was ready.
But um... I think maybe
now that was a mistake.
You broke my heart once already.
Why don't you just...
get on with your life?
Because Im still in love with you.
No, no.
I do not want to hear that.
Why not? It's true.
Because Im fuckin'
married now, okay?
That's not my fault, alright?
Just because you
couldn't marry me,
Doesn't mean you have to run
out and marry somebody else.
I didn't know you were
a guy on a timeline.
No! No! Is not it,
that's not what happened!
That's not what happened.
Let me just want to ask something.
What are you doing here?
I don't know.
Well, I do.
You know, youre still fuckin' crazy.
You know that?
So what do you say?
I can't.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, really.
He is about to go home
And get into bed with his new wife.
You know I just...
I wanted him to see that maybe...
I could go get into bed with
somebody too, if I wanted.
That's what guys respond to.
Get a guy jealous and they'll do pretty
much anything you want him to, right?
Nice!
Real nice.
Are you kidding me?
Hey baby!
Hello babe!
Hey!
Good night?
Really good night!
We did 94 covers.
Wow. Wow!
Get in here and get a
glass of red, yeah?
How was your night, huh?
Rende' with the sis'?
Yeah, not quite. Honestly,
I don't even know what to do about her.
Alright? I mean grated,
she's my sister
But I don't know her from Adam...
I mean, you've met her,
she's half fuckin' deep end.
I'm really glad to hear you say that
Because I think she's
a little bit in trouble.
She's a, like trouble,
a mean a little bit of trouble.
Just a tiny bit.
Yeah, I know.
Is she here?
No, no, she actually... she went out...
does she happen to have
friends here or something?
She doesn't...
I have no idea, but
She showed up in new York
in the middle of the winter
Without a coat...
I let her grab something from your closet...
I hope that's...
oh.
That's alright.
Yeah. Do you...
do you know which one she took?
No I... don't know.
Long. Looked warm.
Is that bad?
No
There you go
welcome to new York.
Why do you come from los Angeles
to new York in the middle of winter
Without a coat?
I don't understand that.
I think a week is good. Huh?
Totally, I mean that's...
super generous so...
thank you.
No, no! Of course.
You're the boss.
I'll drink to that.
And now Im gonna take a bath.
A bath?
Yeah, and Im gonna take this with me.
Do you um... want ah company...?
No, Im good.
Oh look. It's right here!
I can't...
fuck
What the fuck are you...!
Bucky. Fuckin' put the bat down
Stop it!
He's my friend.
Stop it!
What are you doing to me?
Who's the fuckin' guy. Shut the fuck up!
Shut up!
Get the fuck out of here
Noel, wait a second...
get the fuck out!
Get the fuck out of here!
What the fuck! Are you trying
to be my father right now?
What the fuck! Jesus Christ!
- Fuck you, dude!
- Get the fuck out of here!
Take this fuckin' scales hat.
What the hell is your problem!
Fuck you, man!
Come back here. Wait wait.
I don't know how Katie is gonna
react to this news.
Because she... obviously was upset
that Linda took the coat
And I even lied to Katie
and told her that I gave her the coat.
Steals a coat, brings the dude home,
All within the first 12 hours
of being here?
I mean. This is not...
this does not board well for her visit.
You should just be thankful
that you didn't hear her come in last night.
Why? What happened?
I wake up at 5 o clock in the morning
To find her and some random dude
Totally going at it
on our kitchen counter.
What?
Yeah, I know, it's fuckin' nuts.
So that's what that scream was.
Very... very funny.
Yeah, alright. And just for good measure
I gave the kitchen counter
a thorough wipe down thank you.
But that is not the kind of thing you really
want to see your little sister doing.
What did you do?
I kicked them out.
I mean he at least was scared shitless.
And ran out of there, but
She was so fuckin'
drunk and screwed up.
I don't know how
you didn't wake up.
She was screaming
and yellin' in the hallway.
And totally went off on me. Wow.
Well, I think your being really harsh.
Is why. Because I this is what
the kids are doing these days.
I think they go to the club,
and they meet random guys,
And they bring them home and...
You know... fuck them on
the kitchen counter.
So that's what the kids are doing'.
Totally! I read it in a magazine.
You are not being
at all helpful here, alright?
This is my sister.
I am...
I did not need that
imagery in my mental files.
No, Im not mad, I mean...
I... why shouldn't she
make herself at home?
She's been here for... 12 hours and...
Um... I never eat breakfast
on that counter, so...
that's why.
I all seriousness
Maybe it makes me a prude,
But I think bringing a guy home,
On the first night your
in a stranger's house is...
Slightly... ah promiscuous?
Dare I say...
I still don't know
how you slept through
The insanity last night.
It was a ruckus affair.
A bomb could of...
I almost took a
head with a baseball bat.
But I love that you went out
there to like... protecting me!
I didn't know what it was!
I heard some noise.
I thought someone
broke into the apartment.
I mean, thank god there
was a light on, you know.
Hold up.
Speaking of...
ah! There she is.
Hello.
Buzzy?... hey, so um...
are you like...
really mad about last night?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm more than a little mad.
Look. I'm sorry. Alright.
I got so drunk.
And we were closer to your
apartment than his place
So I figured it would be more
easy, or something...
So look. Can I uh...
can I come back there or...?
Hang on.
She wants to know is it cool
if she stays with us.
Is she welcome to come back?
Yeah.
You sure?
- Uh hm.
Hey! Good news, yes.
You are welcome to come back.
I am going to work in a little while
But when I get home...
you and I need to
have a long talk about...
guidelines,
if you're gonna stay with us
For a little while.
Okay.
Sure. Whatever you want.
When I get mad, I just...
I see red.
You know. I don't think I just... react.
I get that from my father,
he was very impulsive.
And, you know, sometimes
really great, exciting things happen
From being like that.
Other times, shitty things.
Good morning.
No. No, I didn't.
It was supposed to be with you.
Why?
We can still try again, can't we?
I know! But ah...
I made a mistake!
I was wrong.
I didn't think you
would move to new York
And get married in 10 months.
I thought maybe we'd
have another chance.
I was wrong.
Is that what you want to hear?
I made a mistake
and I was wrong.
Okay.
Fine.
If you are 100 percent sure
That you are ready to walk away
And say goodbye to me forever...
then Ill leave tomorrow
And Ill go back to L.A.
And Ill leave you alone.
But if you're not,
then you call me up, okay?
Hey! Buzzy is that you?
Nope, nope, it's me.
Hey!
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Walk of shame, right?
It happens to the best of us.
Did you um...
you have fun anyway?
You know. It was not the best night.
Oh, buzzy said he
lent you one of my coats.
Oh... fuck...!
Fuck me.
I must have left it someplace.
You left it someplace?
Do you remember where?
Maybe we could call them, something?
No, I don't. I don't know where it is.
Um...
but maybe...
I could replace it for you?
Was it really expensive?
It was... yeah.
Um... hey. It's okay.
It's really fine.
We're just so
happy that you're here.
Ah, but there are a couple
of things you could do for me
That would be really helpful.
And the first is not
Use so many towels
when you take a shower
Because I really hate laundry.
And the other thing is...
if you could not bring
strange guys home?
That would be awesome.
Buzzy told you about that?
Yeah...
yeah, yeah, of course he did.
Oh! Okay.
Um... well, first of all...
Uh... Im sorry about the towels.
I um... thought that's
what they were there for.
Ah... and second of all...
you never had a crazy night?
Yeah, yeah... of course we did.
I just...
do not want strange men in my
Apartment late at night,
if that's cool.
Understood.
Alright um...
I have got to go take a shower.
And... I will let myself air dry.
Oh, hey. You know.
Do you have any water in here?
Perfect.
You saw that, right?
I mean that was like hostile...!
She opened the door in my face!
I was just trying to be nice.
Make a simple request.
And she... really didn't like that.
Okay...
well...
it's officially on...
I officially don't like her.
I know I was being bitchy but
I had this monster hangover
and,
I come home
And the first thing she
comes at me with is towels?
I mean, who gives
a shit about towels?
I had my heart
ripped out last night!
Just for the record...
I did have crazy nights
before I got married.
Hey, it's me.
I need to talk to you.
Hi.
Hi.
Hey, honey um... listen.
Is buzzy at home? By any chance?
No, he's training max today,
I thought.
Okay, I just thought Id check.
No, I don't believe a word that
max says these days.
Honey, listen.
Um... has buzzy mentioned
anything to you about max
Being unfaithful?
No! Why? What's going on?
Do you think he would
tell you if he knew?
Yeah, of course! He wouldn't
keep anything like that secret...
from me.
I don't know, that's naive Katie.
I mean guys, you know guys.
They don't share that shit.
Marsha! You are my sister!
I'm his wife!
His allegiance to us.
Okay. You want something to drink?
Yeah. Water, please.
When I graduated college
I ah... married
max, we met at school
And had our son shortly after.
He is not the college.
Um... so we're, empty nesters.
For me...
I was so involved in john's life
Really I mean, you're a mom you're
very involved in the kids life
And max was too.
So now I feel like
all that sort of passion
For my child has to
be focused somewhere else.
I am a little worried
about you and buzzy.
Oh, Marsha don't start,
not today. Please!
Please.
How well do you really know him?
I mean this whole rushed wedding
happened way too quickly for my liking.
I know him just fine, thank you.
Trust me, you never really know them.
I mean, Ive been with
max for fuckin' ever.
And I still don't know him.
Why do you insist on doing this,
Marsha?
I swear to god. I mean I know
you don't like him, but he's my husband.
And I love him.
No.
Honey, here's the thing.
Why didn't he tell you
That his sister was
coming to stay with you?
I mean, don't you
think that's weird?
No, I don't.
If she's a complete flake.
And she called him like 3 months ago
And said she was coming
And then never called to confirm!
No.
So it's an honest oversight.
Remember what dad
used to always say?
Better to beg forgiveness,
then ask permission.
Marsha, I feel like you are projecting
your relationship onto my relationship.
No! I'm not.
If something happened with max?
I'm hypersensitive
to dishonesty, right now.
I mean, I can smell it a mile away.
Why would he be afraid to tell me
That his sister was coming to stay?
Well, I do not know...
maybe, maybe he thought you'd say no...
or maybe he...
he knew what a pain in the ass she is.
I don't know. The point is
he knew and he didn't tell you.
You have to start looking for all those
Little lies, that's what they do.
Men lie.
Yeah, I know,
actually you might be right.
He might not have told me because he
didn't want me to know
What a complete and total slut...
his sister is.
Last night, she brought a guy home
at 3 in the morning,
And was hooking up with
him on my kitchen counter.
And actually all of that
Im okay with... sort of...
except that today, when she came home,
I tried to talk to her about it...
and she gave me a fuckin' attitude.
Like I was making an unreasonable request
that she not bring strange men home.
Look, honey,
house guests are always a problem,
But, when it's a relative, like a...
bitchy English shrew
of a mother in law,
Or a, you know,
slutty L.A. Sister in law,
Then it's a really bad idea.
So what did buzzy say?
I haven't told him yet.
I don't know what to say.
I don't know how to tell him
I want his baby sister
to get the fuck out of my house?
Well, I thought you said you
could tell him anything.
Yeah, no I can, but this is different
I mean, it's his sister,
And he's always so understanding
About Dara and you...
and I just feel...
me?
Why does he need to
be understanding about me?
No... you know... he just... he...
what'?
He thinks you don't like him.
He thinks you don't like him.
Oh. Well I don't.
At least he's smart enough
to recognize that.
Why?
What has he done?
He hasn't done anything...
it's just... look at you, I mean...
you're a...
you're an amazing catch.
You're beautiful,
you're successful,
You're wealthy.
I mean...
I don't know, he was just in too
much of a rush
To get a ring on your finger.
A ring that you paid for.
I just think Marsha doesn't think
I'm good enough for her sister.
Ah... we come from
different worlds...
I don't know... she's never really
opened up to me, and
You know, it's funny, I can see that
she takes it out on max
A little bit, because he's the one
that set Katie and I up.
Swear to god, that woman hates me!
I don't think she hates you!
She's probably not madly in love with you
anymore. But I don't think she hates you.
I've got to get out
of this marriage.
I already told you,
I don't want to hear this shit, okay?
I don't want to have to go home
To Katie and have her asking me
About you guys,
and then Im forced to lie.
Just tell her the truth!
Seriously!, Im done with it.
And it's because of you, really.
Me! What did I have to do with this?
When you said "18 years is a success"
That's right
I mean, john is in college now,
he doesn't need us to be together anymore.
Hey, do me a favor, okay?
Don't pin this shit on me.
I was trying to smooth over
What was becoming a
very awkward conversation, alright?
Yeah, but what you said was right.
Well, forget that I said it!
I can't forget it!
I'm... Im done!
I'll gonna ask Marsha for a divorce!
No, you're not.
I don't need your nutty wife
Thinking Im somehow responsible...
for planting the seed
in your sick mind
That you are going to divorce!
There's this girl at the studio
I swear to god she's gorgeous.
Every time I look at her..
I do not want to hear this shit.
I just want to fuck her brains out!
Get back to work, you're a fucking skel.
How much longer on this?
...phone rings...
hello.
I was hoping I might
hear from you.
Look, Im sorry about last night.
But, you know how I get.
I lash out.
No. Nothing happened
with that guy.
I was just...
I was trying to make you jealous.
I wanted you to come run after me
And tell me not to go,
but you didn't.
No, I am not gonna
leave you alone.
Because Im still in love with you
And I want to be with you.
You can't just meet me,
for one night
Just one night.
I don't care... whatever you want.
We can get a hotel room,
it doesn't matter.
I'll see you then.
...phone rings...
yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hello.
Hi, it's Dara.
Dara, who?
Dara Flynn, who's this?
This is Linda. I'm Buzzy's sister.
Who are you?
Oh, Im sorry.
I'm Katies ex-Husband.
I have this vacuum cleaner
that I have to drop back to them.
Can you let me up?
Oh, well apparently,
I am not suppose
To let men up into
the apartment.
So, maybe I just better
come down and get it, huh?
Grand, cool, thank you.
Alright, just give me 5 minutes.
You know,
my nature is my nature.
I see a beautiful woman
I react, I respond.
I just had to ask her out...
you know?
So... go ahead love.
It's almost like... ah... you know...
Hello. Good afternoon. Come.
What was it about?
I mean, she's absolutely stunning.
I mean, you could sense there was
that sort of, you know, hurt.
In those sea blue eyes of hers'.
You know, a need, you know,
for kindness.
And she had that kind of Blanche Dubois
Like quality. You know, someone who
depends on the kindness of strangers.
So to speak.
Well, you know, I was uh...
I was excited and a little nervous
To go meet miles
And uh... there was
beer here in the fridge
I figured it would be good to go get
a couple of free drinks or something.
Oh, Katie just never understood the
temperament of an artist.
You know, she just really was
never emotionally in tuned
I think, to... to really
understand where I was coming from.
Yeah, they're like,
theyre so organized
You know, they like to have
everything in it's place and stuff.
No room for spontaneity.
Yeah! Yeah! You know,
I just like to let life take me
On a wild ride.
The road of excess leads
to the gates of wisdom, type of thing.
For example I don't drink anymore...
you know, because I...
I took that to
the gates of wisdom.
Because uh... for me as an artist,
I.. I feel that...
it's just more truthful,
more honest...
and that's I...
I think that's important, you know?
Um... what kind of artist are you?
Like a painter or something?
I'm an actor. Theatre actor.
Have you ever heard of mizner?
Oh, no. Is he a writer?
Oh, no... no... mizner was um...
God. How would
you describe mizner.
He was just a god, of sort of...
the rich... of the craft.
Indulge me for a second.
We'll do a small little exercise.
Alright, just breath,
shake yourself out, try to relax.
Center yourself.
Okay, right.
Stare into my eyes, okay?
Now just breath.
And allow whatever comes out,
comes out.
Whatever time.
Like talking?
Like talking. Perfect.
Wow, this is intense!
Wow, this is intense.
Was I hitting on her?
Ah, you know...
look. It's hard to say because..
As an artist, it's what I felt
with her... was that sort of connection.
It's a very spontaneous reaction.
And looking into her eyes, you know,
it seems... appropriate for the moment.
Oh, oh, there it is.
Hey! I... just met Katies ex-Husband, Dara.
Dara? Where'd you meet him?
Here. He came by to drop
off a vacuum cleaner.
But... I did not let him up...
because Katie said
Im not supposed to have
Strange men in the apartment.
Then you spoke to Kate.
And she was a little snippy with me.
Do me a favor, don't give me
any shit about Katie, alright?
She is being very generous
letting you stay here.
Yeah! Well she and
I wouldn't have a problem
If you hadn't told her
anything about last night.
Of course Im gonna to tell her!
She's my wife! This is her apartment!
Yeah! But she... comes at me
with all her judgments
And everything and I don't
need that from her.
Seriously, can you blame her?
I mean, given your performance
on the kitchen counter, I think...
wow! And I really,
really don't need that from you!
What is that supposed to mean?
Do you need which
is supposed to mean?
Do you even remember at all
what it was like when we were kids?
You bringing home a new girl every night
And dad friggin'
congratulating you about it?
Yeah, I was in college.
That was acceptable behavior,
You're an adult, staying
in this apartment.
No listen to me. I'm not mad at you!
Okay? And Im not judging you.
But she is going to be on my case
If that kind of behavior continues.
Alright now look.
I am happy to have you here
I miss you, it's great to see you
But can you please do me a favor
And just... you know, chill out
a little bit while you're here.
Okay... okay.
I'll chill out a little bit.
Oh... I should tell you...
I lost Katies coat.
You lost the coat that you took?
Yeah, but um...
I said Id replace it.
Trust me, you can not afford to
replace that coat.
Alright. I will take
care of that, but um...
I appreciate you making
this easy on me.
You want to tell the story?
You know, we met... uh I was training um..
Max at the gym...
So ah... listen to me... I been
meaning to tell you. My sister in law...
She is... hot piece of ass, right?
And the other day she
mentions how horny she is,
So uh...
if you want me to hook you up?
Why is your sister in law
telling you how horny she is?
No, she told Marsha,
Marsha told me, you know.
That's marriage for you.
What's the catch?
I mean, if she's such a great
looking girl, why is she single?
Obviously, I thought there must
have been something wrong with you,
Either you're mentally unstable
or maybe have the clap,
Fortunately neither is true.
Both of which appealed, apparently.
Cause you signed right up
for the first date, so.
Yeah. And then, yeah,
we went out and um...
pretty soon after ahh...
it got very serious and then,
I impetuously...
proposed one day,
As we were coming
back from dinner.
And...
what do you say?
Yes.
I said yes.
And here we are.
Here we are.
I was... I was pregnant
Um so... it was a big surprise but...
and I remember he had this gig
at this tiny little club.
And so, we went...
And um... he was up there
and he wrote this song
For me,
You did!
It was really sweet.
And he... he um...
proposed to me right there
In front of everybody.
Yeag I... I remember
being totally freaked out.
About the prospect of
becoming a father, and then...
I don't know.
The whole thing was kind of a blur.
It just happened so quickly.
But it was still sweet.
Those were some good times.
Back then.
Yeah.
I think the thing that she's
most upset about...
is that we can't our freak on.
And the room next door...
it's true. I like to be loud.
I'm sorry.
I can't do these dinners any more,
If you insist on talking
like that at the dinner table.
I mean, it's fine in the locker
room, that your room is accessible,
But we we're it bothers me.
Marsha, please! What?
Just lighten up!
You sound like an old woman!
People talk about sex
and they curse at dinner table, okay?
Yeah.
Just get over it.
No, Im not gonna get over it.
Because I find it offensive,
More importantly,
did you just call me an "old woman"?
No, I didn't.
I said you sounded like an old woman.
Well, please explain to me
how I sound like an old woman.
I don't need this,
coming from you. Of all people.
Everything and everyone
just irritate and upset you the whole time.
Everything? Wow. It's infuriating.
We're all walking around on eggshells,
Terrified that everything we say
might upset you.
That's not true!
I mean, Katie. Do you feel that way?
No, not at all.
No. See.
And clearly, buzzy doesn't.
I mean, otherwise he'd heed
my request to speak like a gentleman.
Gentleman?... yeah that
would never happen!
No. I think the only person
who's terrified of me, is you.
- You know what Marsha?
- What?
You have lost your zest for life.
My zest.
Zest, yes! The fun, happiness, joy
It's all gone!
Bitching and complaining.
That's become your
personality traits.
I'm sick of it!
Wow.
Nothing's fun or funny to you,
anymore.
I mean, I don't even know when the
last time you laughed was.
When was the last time you laughed?
No really. When was the last time?
You want to know?
I do.
Oh. When I found your
pathetic passes at
That young girl in the studio,
hilarious.
I mean you should of seen him!
He's was all being charming and
Sucking in his gut.
I mean I laughed my head off,
at that one.
Hey, hey.
Let's change the subject, huh?
Buzzy! Tell us about one of those
freak shows, from your gym, that you train.
Something funny.
Okay... yeah. Let's see. Um...
Oh. Alright, yeah. There's this guy,
Aaron Luben, he's a law student...
guys.
Sleeping with his cleaning lady.
That's funny!
Um... I want a divorce.
Yeah... no... you know what?...
buzzy, you're right
Your right. We had 18 years
we can consider that a success.
Don't bring me into this.
You know. Did I say that?
I don't remember saying that.
Let's just end it, right now.
Fine. That is music to my ears.
Oh it is? Well good!
Good riddance.
Yeah. Oh, but Im keeping
the apartment.
That's fine, because
Ill sleep in the studio.
Great, perfect.
Max, max! Wait! Wait!
What just happened? Go after him!
Do something!
I kind of... I got my sister to deal with.
Right? So maybe...
great...
it's alright.
I'm fine.
You know.
What you have to look forward to.
Yeah! I think 18 years is a
hell of a success.
I mean, my first marriage
only lasted 6 years
Yours was what? 4 years?
So, if you can go 18?
I'd say, you did
a pretty damn good job.
Just out of curiosity...
how long do you see us going?
Hopefully longer than
That what be really what I imagined,
but... yeah, me too!
When I said... "I do"
Yeah! I'm agreeing
with you completely.
But, 18, if we made it to
Think we'd both be pretty happy.
Why am I here now to get
miles back, you know?
Umm... I think maybe knowing
that he got married was um...
a motivating factor, for sure.
It got me to see
what I really want
And to um... go after it.
Why don't you have something
a little bit stronger, huh?
And one for me.
Okay.
Cheers. Cheers.
That's better.
How about another one?
One more.
I miss you.
Wait. What?
I want to play a song for you.
I think you're really
gonna enjoy it.
Let's go.
Remember it?
Remember this one?
You know you want to dance.
I know you do.
Let's go.
Your still in love with me.
So what?
Doesn't matter.
Of course it matters.
I brought something for you.
Yeah? Um. Hm.
What?
Well, you just have to wait and see.
Don't go anywhere, okay?
Oh, your pulling all the stops, tonight.
Don't move.
I'll be right here.
Okay.
Men are pretty predictable, I find.
And um... if you use your
sexuality in the right way...
then you can get them to do,
pretty much anything you want them to do.
Oh. Hi guys. I didn't realize
you uh... still here.
We're going down to walkers for a couple
drinks, if you want to come with us.
What, now?
Yeah!
Come on. Come out with us!
Yeah? Yeah.
Yeah... uh...
come on. Okay.
I could do with a drink.
In fact, you know what?
I buy you all a drink.
How does that sound?
Oh my god! I really can't believe
that just happened!
Divorce!... over dinner?... what?
I'm gonna have another glass
of wine, yeah? Yep. Yes.
I actually thought they were happy.
Really? Yeah.
Why do you think they are happy?
I mean, come on. I've never
saw them smile at one another.
They've never said a nice thing
to one another.
At least not in my presence.
No, no! In the beginning,
Way before you knew them.
Back when they were had Johnny.
They were like... I mean,
Ive never seen two people more in love.
The way he used to look at her.
He used to bring her
flowers like every day!
You forget that was what uh...
Then why did you call their
marriage a success?
I was just trying to smooth over
another uncomfortable meal.
God! I mean, I knew
they had problems
But I thought they were just like
everybody else that has problems.
I had no idea
Wow. Did you?
Did you have a sense of this?
Uh... no... no... not really.
Not really?
Look, sometimes...
what?
Sometimes in the gym,
max will talk shit about her.
You know? I mean,
but, I thought he was harmless,
The same way most guys
will talk shit about their wives.
Do you talk shit
about me at the gym?
No, I do not talk shit about you.
We're newlyweds.
I not gonna talk shit about you
for at least another 2 months or so.
Oh.
Cheers. Cheers.
Oh. A prince.
A prince among men.
Yeah. But you know,
you should of told me that one.
That was one to tell me.
Look... I didn't know
You know, he was going to ask for
a divorce at dinner!
We did say we were gonna tell
each other everything.
And this one,
this time around. Even the hard stuff.
Really. I know everything.
You don't have to be afraid.
Agreed. I will in the future...
you know, tell you.
Yeah. Because I really don't want
to be blindsided in the restaurant
That would really suck for me.
Got it. I will.
I got it. Loud and clear.
Okay?
Got you.
Wow.
Well. I think for a relationship to work...
you have to have total honesty.
You know? Tell each other everything.
Down to the littlest detail.
I mean I... I totally agree,
up to a point. I think...
I think there are some things that...
you know, most people admit,
that are better to keep to yourself.
Yeah? Like what?
Well, I don't know.
I don't think you'd want to hear like
My deepest and darkest thoughts
that I might just happen to have.
Yes, I do.
I mean, I tell you everything.
I don't know, let's say you...
I don't know,... you...
you have a passing fantasy
about, I don't know,
Like a sexual situation.
Having a 2 on 1, with
you know, two guys at the deli.
Yeah, I don't want to hear that.
I don't have those fantasies
About two guys at the deli.
Do you?
No! I don't have any
fantasies about 2 guys at the deli.
I mean, there's the girl at Starbucks,
not so bad.
Like I said... better to keep
these things to yourself.
Wow... you look amazing.
Why didn't you say
"yes" when I asked you?
Ask me now.
Ask me again.
Ask me again, right now.
You know, you were
the only thing that I ever wanted.
We could have been
so happy together.
We could still be
happy together.
How can we be?
I'm married, now.
So get a divorce!
Who gives a shit!
You're still in love with me.
I can't. Why not?
You've only been married
a few weeks.
It's not even real yet.
People get divorced every day!
It's not a big deal.
Oh fuck, you don't understand.
We're having a baby.
That's why I got married so fast.
I'm having a baby.
What?
In a few weeks.
I'm gonna be a father.
I'm angry at Linda because...
she said she wants
to be with me now!
But it's way too late.
I asked her to marry me.
I... I gave her my.. My heart.
And she just didn't take it.
Um...
I really wanted to spend some time...
With ah... Linda.
And uh...
I'm... Im happy though, it
turned out the way it did.
I wouldn't be able
to live with myself.
Uh... you know... now...
now your just picking on me, alright?
Hey! Three towels...
three towels, wet on the floor.
Uh... proof.
Look, I used that towel, first
of all, alright. That's not...
no you didn't.
No, because you always
Hang your towels up half
his and hers.
What are you saying?
That she purposely...
used all three towels and then
threw them on the bathroom floor?
Yes, exactly what Im saying.
Why would she do that?
Because I asked her
very nicely not to,
And she clearly doesn't like
to be told what to do.
I think you're starting
to get a little paranoid
But here.
Give me the towels.
I will go clean them, alright?
Baby. It's not about the towels.
I just...
can we talk about like a...
a check out date, for her?
Oh my..
What am I supposed to say to her?
Just ask her how long
she plans to stay here
And then maybe suggest
that it be a shorter
Amount of time
rather than a longer.
Is Thursday fair?
Thursday would be great.
Thank you.
I'm going to go take a shower, now.
And use a washcloth
to dry myself with.
I will do some laundry.
My sister is annoying, occasionally.
Buzzy's sister is on a...
whole other level.
She'd try the patience of a saint.
You know, this kind of shit,
is the stuff that guys...
can't get their
head around.
I mean really, who cares if you lost
my coat or you used too many towels.
I think for guys...
you know, almost anything goes.
Maybe with exception of
sleeping with um...
you know,
one of your ex-Girlfriends.
That's probably the only
thing that's out of bounds.
Hi.
Hi.
Come on in.
You know, as an actor...
I once heard a line
Live life boldly, and extreme
forces will come to you.
Linda's a pure force, man.
Pure force.
You know what I really need?
What do you need?
I really need a drink.
I'm sorry, look, I don't
have it on the home.
But I don't have a
lot of minutes
What is real, you know?
Just like the way
you and I are real you know,
Sparce and raw, as you can see
There's not a lot of stuff
That I keep so I
don't really get distracted
So I can just focus on work.
It is really fucking sexy
When you talk like that.
We shouldn't be doing this, love.
We're kind of like family?
No, no! We're not.
We're not related.
No! But you're my ex-Wifes'
sister in law.
That's a relationship that they
would not encourage. Oh. Oh.
Particularly your brother!
This, this is not a relationship.
Now, take me to the bedroom, or
do you want to talk about it some more?
Upstairs.
Okay. Watch your head.
God it's... dark.
No, no.. Wait, wait!
No. No. Don't go up there.
Alright.
Is so sad!
What part?
Oh...
the whole fucking thing is sad!
You said it's 15 years?
I did get one... when I was
in Hamburg but it cost... money.
Right. Is your wife, like,
is she still living upstairs?
She gonna live upstairs.
I gonna live down here in the studio.
You know...
I'm gonna do something
really nice for you.
Let's go.
Let's just... do it right here.
Oh... sweet Jesus!
You awake?
Yeah.
Still crying.
No.
Want to talk about it?
Not really.
Can I ask who my rival is?
He is just some boy I used to know.
You could have
told me about him.
Why?
What does it matter to you?
Yes, Linda did cry the
first time we had sex but...
to tell you the truth, that's not
the first time that's happened.
You know, I uh...
whatever it is,
I just seem to have that sort
of impact on women.
Hey babe, look. I don't think she ah..
Is gonna be home tonight
So why don't we uh...
you know, have a little make up sex?
What do you think
I think it would be good for us.
I know babe, but Im... just... Im
really not in the mood, tonight.
Oh, I can get you in the mood?
You want me to uh... slip under the covers?
Go downtown and uh...?
I can get you in the mood pretty quickly.
Sounds great,
and I think we should do it when she leaves.
After Thursday.
Touch!
I don't want to think of it as
withholding sex or punishment.
I'd like to think of it as um... incentive.
To get his sister the fuck
out of my house.
So, guess what?
Max brought somebody home with him
To the studio, last night.
What?
Yeah.
Oh my god. You are kidding me.
No, no. I'm not.
I could hear them.
Oh my god!
I know! I mean,
I couldn't be sure, but,
You know,
it was pretty fuckin' obvious.
Oh, Marsha. That is really too soon!
I know!
I can't stay in the apartment.
I mean, if hes gonna do
shit like that, I...
Listen. Can I stay with you guys?
Just for a little while.
Yeah, you know ah...
Buzzys sister is still staying with us.
She's in the spare bedroom, though, so
you could go on the couch?
The couch?
Do you remember
what I did for you,
When you went
through your divorce?
How you moved in with us?
And I held you every night
while you cried yourself to sleep?
You remember that?
Yeah.
Put that little bitty on the couch.
Full sisters get dibs
over half sisters.
I mean, when would it be to soon
for me to start dating?
Well, I waited a few months.
I know, but you were young.
You could afford to.
Oh. Do I need to get waxed?
I mean, what's this um... Brazilian...
oh god.
Do I need to do that?
Uh... I just want to do all the things
that I haven't done in years.
You know, and I want to do now...
like... like tonight!
You know, maybe it's gonna be good.
I mean, I think in a way...
there are, you know,
possibilities out there
That could be fun and exciting and...
who knows.
I'm more grown up and
much more experienced.
What the hell is this all about?
Please don't tell me you two...
this is happening!
It's not what you think.
It's not what I think?
What is this then?
Come with me, we need to talk.
What the fuck?
What?
What is happening here?
We're hanging out.
"Hanging out"?
There are 8 million
people in this city
And you have to
"hang out" with him?
Listen, I appreciate you trying
to be my big brother and all...
Im not trying to do shit, here!
But you are being crazy!
We talked yesterday!
I know, I know, but it happened, okay?
Like, things happen, sometimes!
But Im handling it...
no, you know what?
You're not handling shit.
What you're doing is
sleeping with my wife's ex-Husband.
No, no, Im not!
I'm not sleeping with him,
I just... I slept with him.
There is a difference.
Alright, obviously I can't talk to you.
Hey asshole!
Look, you understand
that this needs to ends today.
You are never to see her again!
No, you don't understand.
I love her.
You love her?
You don't even fuckin' know her!
What are you talking about?
Your sister and I were cut
from the same cloth.
We're from here, the gut.
You and Katie, you're up here.
You're thinking'.
Always rationalizing and planning.
I wouldn't expect
you to understand.
Are you aware that this
asshole in love with you?
That's what he just told me
no, he's not.
That what he just said!
No! No. You're not!
Listen, you're a really
sweet guy, but I...
You need to turn around and
go home. Right now.
Do you mind if
I take my coat, please?
Are you kidding me?
Please give him the fuckin' coat.
Good bye!
You. Let's go. We need to talk.
Alright. So you understand
that you have just put me into
An insane shit storm, alright?
So here's what needs to happen.
You need to go over and tell Katie
Because Im not going to.
Wait. Why does anybody have to
tell her anything?
I have to tell her,
and I don't want to tell her.
You're the one who
put us into this situation.
So you got to explain it to her.
This is what we do.
We tell each other everything.
It's called honesty.
Really? That sounds
like a terrible idea!
You have to promise me that
you're gonna go over there now,
I got to get back to the gym,
and you've got to tell her!
If I tell her,
then she's gonna kick me out!
You should have thought
of that before.
Hey!, there she is, um...
Linda, this is my sister Marsha...
Marsha, this is Buzzys sister, Linda.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, finally.
Um... listen Katie, I just um...
I wanted to talk to you, actually
If that's alright. Um..
I just... I have something
I wanted to say, and I...
Thought ah... I should tell you...
You know what, Linda. Can I just...
stop you because I... I...
Im actually kind of in the middle
of a family crisis, right now.
Yeah. My... my husband
of 18 years just left me.
Oh no. I'm sorry!
Yeah, and we need to talk about
the sleeping arrangements.
Because Im gonna have to put you
on the couch. If that's alright.
I can't stay at my place.
And he's still there and...
Right! Yeah, um... because
what I wanted to tell you
Just now, is um...
Im moving out, today!
You are!
Yep! That's amazing, great!
Thank you, Linda!
Oh, no. Thank you, you've been
so generous, um...
I just... I didn't want to
overstay my welcome.
No, no, not at all.
No, Im sure you haven't.
Well... I am just gonna
Ill go pack my bags.
Oh uh... can you uh...
change the sheets?
I'm sure they need
to be changed.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you, Linda!
Yeah. Hi, it's max.
Yeah, no, I know we don't have a session,
I want to talk.
Thanks.
Look. What the hell were you thinking,
dropping that on the table,
In the middle of dinner, man.
That's not the place for that shit!
I... I didn't think about it,
it just came out, that way.
But you saw what she's like.
She's so demeaning.
But the timing worked out so well.
When I got to the studio,
Vanessa, that girl I was talking about...
she was still working there.
The thing about max is uh...
he's a poor reflection
On my ability as a trainer.
I've added absolutely no muscle to him.
He's lost no weight.
All he likes to do is come
to the gym and bullshit.
I tell him all the time, you know,
you don't need a trainer...
you need a shrink.
I do not want to hear these stories...
alright? So, here's the deal...
I don't think
I can train you anymore.
This is gonna put me in too
awkward a position.
I went over there
because I was excited!
I thought he'd like to hear
this news, of mine, you know?
I mean, this guy... 18 years
Ive been married. He knows that.
I get one blow job...
I want to tell him, share the good news...
and then he says
"oh, Im not gonna train you any more".
I don't know,
he just took it all the wrong way.
Hey, it's me. Um...
Im kind of glad you didn't pick up.
Um... I just... I wanted to call...
I... I wish I could
of said this last night?
I um... I just had to get out of there.
But I wanted say it now.
Look, if... if I had known that you um...
you know, the situation...
I really...
I never would have come.
I never would have
come to new York.
I want you to know...
Im really happy for you.
I think you are gonna be a great dad.
And I wanted
to call and say goodbye.
So, bye.
I do not know,
I think I got to get out of here.
I think I just...
I got to get back to L.A., I think.
Marsha is gonna stay with us,
for a while. Yeah.
What happened to the...
other plan?
I thought you were gonna sleep upstairs
and max was gonna sleep in the studio?
I was. But last night, I think
max brought someone home
And I could hear them, and I can't...
I mean, can you believe that?
I don't know, I don't care.
Can you...
where is my sister, by the way?
Her stuff...?
Oh, um... Linda left.
Linda left.
Yeah. She... we were sitting in the
kitchen, she came home and she said
She was going to move out.
Wait, what do you mean she moved out?
Did she say where she was going or
where she was gonna stay?
No.
No.
No she packed her bag and left.
She seemed happy. Yeah, she did.
Did she say... anything else?
About what? Oh.
Today, when I... was going to work,
I'm comin' out of the deli and
I run into her, and... Dara.
My... wait...
they were together?
I don't know, I mean, I guess the
date that she went on last night...
must have been with him.
What? It's just like...
are they in a relationship?
I don't...
how long have you known about this!?
Oh my god!
Look, I think it was...
she takes the word sluttiness,
to whole other level.
But she is also a coward. And she
came in here and said she had to leave.
All of a sudden.
And packed her bag and fucking fled!
Because she didn't want to tell me that
she was sleeping with my ex-Husband.
I'm sure it was just a matter of she was
afraid to say something, to you, okay?
She's a young kid, she's vulnerable.
Vulnerable?... vulnerable!... vulnerable.
So vulnerable means she has to
fuck everyone in new York
And fuck up my life?
I didn't like her when I met her.
I mean, she... her eyes were shifty.
You're calling my sister a shifty.
She's completely shifty!
She fucking stole my coat,
and used all my fucking towels!
And slept with someone
on the kitchen counter!
And now she's sleeping
with my ex-Husband!
That is completely fucked!
Buzzy, that is completely fucked!
Look! I'm as upset about
this as you are, alright!
I don't like the idea of my
little sister sleeping with Dara.
Who, mind you, is not without
any blame here, alright?
Your reaction, quite honestly,
is a little big.
I mean, Im thinking maybe I
shouldn't even have said anything.
And I was like the asshole
who doesn't know! To who?
And then Im the one at the deli
and I run into him.
You would do that to me?
You would let me be ignorant about this?
This is what Ive been telling you.
You know, that you guys...
you didn't know each other,
Before you got married.
That's why Ive been so against it!
My god, Marsha, shut up!
Do not tell my sister to shut up!
My sister is a good person.
Whereas your sister is... the devil!
Look, you're being
a little irrational, okay.
So why don't we just... why don't
we just agree to talk in the morning.
When we don't have to deal with comments
from the fuckin' peanut gallery, alright?
I'm going to work, and tomorrow
You and I are going
to have a conversation
Because I think... we might...
want different things, in the relationship.
And we might think that
different things are important.
Really? I mean, if that's
where you're gonna take this.
I told you the truth!
It's not my fault my sister didn't?
Bye, honey.
How the fuck did you do that to her?
Why wouldn't you
tell her about that?
Oh my god.
Really. I mean, it's no wonder
max ran for the fuckin' hills.
Jesus.
Can you believe this girl?
First, she... steals my coat
And then uses all the towels, 2 times...
and then she sleeps
with my ex-Husband?
I mean, my ex-Husband?
I feel like if I had a pet
rabbit right now she
Would be boiling the shit
out of it on my stove!
Oh hey! How are you doing'?
Ah... thank you for
fucking up my marriage.
I'm so glad that
you decided to visit me!
What do you want!?!
I just wanted somebody to talk to.
Oh! Why don't you give
your new friend Dara a call, maybe?
I'm sure he's free tonight.
I'm sorry about that. I told you
I wasn't thinking straight.
Yeah, Id say you
weren't thinking at all.
Why didn't you tell Katie,
like you said you were gonna do?
I couldn't.
I was scared, and her
mean creepy sister was there
Giving me this attitude, and I just
figured it would be better if I left.
Ok, well now you have gotten me
into a shit load of trouble, so...
Thanks a lot. I'm sorry about that.
I'm a fuck up. I know!
But I don't have anybody else,
you're my brother.
I need your help.
Yeah! And I have
been trying to help you,
And all you've done is screw me over.
I don't know what to do.
I don't have any money
And I just wanna go home.
I just really want to go home.
I want to go home.
Where are you?
I'm at some hotel, Im at the um...
the cosmopolitan, by your house.
Why don't you meet me
for breakfast in the morning?
There's a diner on the corner.
Alright, let's say 9 o'clock and...
we'll figure something out, alright?
Okay.
You gonna be alright?
Um... yes.
Alright, Ill see
you in the morning.
Okay.
Hey buzzy! Are you awake?
No! I'm sleeping!
Hey! You know what
Im gonna do tomorrow?
You know what?
I could care less, because ah...
Im sleeping?
I'm gonna go and give myself
a day of beauty.
I'm gonna get a... Mani putty
Im gonna get a wax.
I'm going to color my
roots, it's gonna be fabulous!
Guess what? I could give a shit!
And then you know what Im
gonna do after that?
You know what Marsha?
I think I said I was sleeping, right?
I'm gonna go to a bar and
Im gonna drink a ton of margaritas.
And I am gonna pick up a guy...
a young, young hot guy.
And I am gonna suck him.
And then Im gonna fuck him in the stall.
Yeah... well, that sounds wonderful.
Do me a favor?
Make sure he wears a rubber.
Okay. You don't want to have to
end up getting married again! Right?
Oh and. Guess what Im gonna
do with him after that?
Oh fuck! You know what?
I really could give a shit, okay?
I thought you would like it?
I mean you're always
going on and on about your,
You know,
sexual exploits with my sister.
I thought that you
would appreciate this. No?
Marsha... good night!
Good night!
It's 1 o clock in
the morning and obviously
I'm not gonna get any sleep
With uh... Marsha chirping
in my ear all night so...
I can either lay in
bed and think about
How Im gonna try and
fix things with Katie or
Go over to the restaurant and
actually try and fix things with her. So...
can we talk for a minute?
Really busy right now, buzzy.
You can't give me a minute?
So look... alright, I understand
that I should have come home
After I saw them,
and told you about it.
I should not have let it out her,
I am sorry, I screwed up, okay?
Really scared, buzzy. Really scared.
What are scared about?
I think maybe we jumped
into this, prematurely.
That's craziness, babe!
We are a great couple.
We have the perfect set up
and your blowin' this...
No. But I don't want a "set up"!
Way out of proportion!
Buzzy. I want a marriage.
And we... we joked, all the time,
about how things are so casual
Between us, and there's
no drama, we never
Have to see each other. And I just...
I think maybe we're being naive.
I think we've been avoiding something.
What are we avoiding?
We have a great, great relationship.
I mean what...
we are avoiding real life!
I mean, true intimacy.
And Im not just talking about sex.
I think... I have been lying to myself.
I think I need a lot more... than this.
What more do you need?
Okay. I love you.
I love you!
What more you need than that!?
Then why... why can't
you be honest with me.
I am honest with you! Okay?
I mean, sometimes I don't
tell you little things! I need...
Like I just forget to mention some things!
Right. But it's those little...
those things add up, and I
am worried that after 18 years,
We are gonna be so full of resentment
and hatred towards each other!
Just like max and Marsha, and Im gonna...
look at you and not know who you are.
This is like your sister talking, okay?
You know me! I mean,
look at me, you know me!
I don't know, Ive seen a lot of
unfamiliar behavior this week.
Unfamiliar behavior?
Yeah!
I was protecting my sister. You can't
understand that? She's my little sister!
Right. Right.
Instead of protecting me...
your wife
And I get it, I get it. You...
you care about your sister but...
yeah.
But that's surprising to me
Because I had never
heard you talk about her
Up until this week,
until she arrived on our doorstep
And I... I just...
I feel like I don't know you
The way that I should know
the person that I married.
I have to get... I have to go to work.
This is crazy. This is crazy.
You totally blew this out
of proportion, babe.
I just can't believe that this
happened this quickly.
Two days ago we were happy...
And now ah... she's questioning
Whether or not she knows me.
I don't... you know... I don't even...
Im at a loss for words.
Hey. Good morning.
Morning.
You want a coffee?
Thank you.
Sure. Great.
How'd you sleep?
Not so good.
I had a shitty night.
Well buzzy was out,
early this morning.
Yeah. He um... he trains a lot of clients,
before they go to work, so.
Do you want to hear something really funny?
Last night, I was totally teasing him, and I
told him that um... I was gonna go to a bar
And pick up some guy
and screw him in the bar.
Anyway, I just wanted to get
him back his stupid sex talk, but...
He hated it!... it was so funny!
Oh my god. So funny.
Yeah, you know what, Marsha?
It's not gonna work to have you stay here.
Right now. What? Whoa?
Where's this coming from?
You don't like buzzy, and
buzzy doesn't like you,
And I just got rid of his sister
And that drama, and I can not
have more drama
In my house, Im trying to
Make my marriage work.
So you're taking his side in this?
Yeah, I am, because
he's my husband
And we're trying to
work through something
And I have to make
that the priority.
Well, absolutely not!
You know, you stayed with
me when you needed a place.
And now I need a place,
so Im staying!
I'm staying!
Okay.
I'm gonna go back to bed.
Okay.
You know, Im going through a divorce!
I have problems too, you know.
I just took out, you know,
Look, she's got to get back to
L.A. And I don't even
Know what kind of life she's got in L.A.
So... better that she uh... has a little
money in her pocket when she gets home.
Alright? This is 2000 dollars.
Do me a favor? Don't
tell Katie I gave you this.
I don't need this much.
Yes, you do, alright.
It'll cover your flight
And then if you ever decide
to come back to new York...
Your gonna to buy yourself a nice coat
before you show up here. Alright?
I remember when
I was a kid, you'd
Come home and your life was a mess
How did you... how did you turn it around
and become a good guy,
With a normal life.
When I was in my 20's,
I was a complete screw up too.
I recognized...
if I continued with that kind of behavior...
I was gonna end up alone.
Alright, and I see you now,
and I see your behavior
And the same thing
is gonna happen to you.
Because, you know,
you're hurting yourself,
And youre hurting the people
that care about you.
Like me.
I really fucked things up for you,
didn't I?
A little bit, yeah!
But, you know,
in a weird way, um...
A blessing in disguise.
Oh yeah. Like how?
It forced me...
to reevaluate some things...
you know, I need to make
some changes in my life.
Yeah, maybe...
maybe I feel a little guilty
I mean, Im her big brother and I
have no relationship with her.
You know. Ah...
I haven't seen her in years and...
I make no effort
to stay in touch, but ah...
I think now,
what Im gonna do is...
make more of an effort.
And try and check
in on her periodically
And maybe even get
out to L.A. and see her.
You're still here. Where's Katie?
You know, she's still sleeping.
Obviously, she's very upset
about something.
Oh. So you're... you're leaving?
You know, I had you pegged
from day one!
Coward!
Men are cowards.
I think max is a coward.
I think uh...
Katies first husband, Dara
Was definitely a coward
And I... I think buzzy...
you know, could be a coward too.
I mean, I think if things
get too complicated he'll...
he'll split.
And she'll be devastated.
What are you doing?
Oh, hey, you're up.
I um... Im packing a bag.
Why? What's happening?
Hey. Do you think you
have any underwear left?
Or did my sister
steal everything?
Buzzy, stop! What...
what are you're doing?
I need to get out of town.
And I would love it...
if you'd join me.
So... the car is parked outside.
I can't go anywhere.
I have to work!
On my first thought,
after I said "I do"
I... wished that
my parents were still alive.
To see it.
They were at my first wedding
Which... didn't work out.
Ah... and I think... I think they
would really like buzzy. A lot.
Uh... my first thoughts,
after we said:
"I do", well, I was pregnant
When we got married.
Um... 4 months pregnant
And I couldn't wait
to get my dress off.
Me too.
Yeah, but not for
the same reason.
My heart was thundering, pounding.
Boom, boom, boom!
After I said "I do"
I was genuinely happy.
You know, I got a...
I got a great girl, she's beautiful
She's very different, from Linda!
I mean the opposite,
complete opposite.
From Linda. Responsible...
responsible and loving...
you know, my real first thought...
Was... there's one more
blow job I could've got.
I... you know... my...
my whole life prior to meeting Katie
Was always... somewhat chaotic.
My childhood,
my college years, my twenties
Certainly my first marriage.
And... after meeting Katie
A peacefulness. Finally
entered my life.
So, I think the first thought I had
After I said "I do"
Was probably... a sense of...
tranquility or serenity?
You know, Katies a rock
And that is really what
I needed in my life.
I guess I finally felt...
at peace.
So... where to?
I have no idea, but I think
we need to get as far away
From any of our
relatives as possible.
And then what?
And then we'll talk.
Maybe work on getting to know
one another a little better.
Sounds good... let's go.