First movement YAU MUK-YAN
Tom Lee Piano. I'm here to tune the piano.
I' m busy today.
Come again some other time.
Come in
I said I' m busy come another day
The guy is here. He has a job to do.
Don't give him a hard time.
- Go away! Go away!
- Please come in.
The piano is upstairs
Now be good and stop crying
Hush. Stop crying.
Please stop.
Will you stay?
You folks are coming back
the day after tomorrow
I'll look bad if I stay on here.
Don't you agree?
But I already told them.
They all know about you.
You have to come up with a better excuse
if you're trying to dump me.
Don't be silly.
Be good. Let me get you a glass of water.
Have some water
But you don't have any money
I'm used to it. I won't die.
Now be good, go inside and wash your face.
You're looking to slip away
No, I won't. Promise.
Now, go on
Go on, wash your face
Oh...I thought you were catching a cab
I got in, felt my pocket and it ain't deep
And all that time...
she's still crying.
Damn!
My Sunkist suitcase is on its last leg.
You go around with these masking tapes?
That's cool
Are you a part-time burglar?
I wish I were
Damn!
I left my underwear inside her dryer.
It's my own fault
I was packing my books
and I forget all about it.
Yeah. What more do you want?
You know, one should never have...
too many unnecessary things.
Throw them out whenever you can.
You can always buy them again
when you have the money
So you are also literate
I'm a writer
What? You don't believe me?
"Love in an Orange Box"
Yau Muk-Yan (Nomad)
My nom de plume
My real name's a major embarrassment:
Yau Wing-Fu
Mine's Chan Kar-Fu
Your name's also Fu?
Now are you impressed?
There're several more inside here
They haven't been printed out yet.
But it won't be long.
This is your trick to
pick up chicks?
Me? Pick up chicks?
Man, you don't know me.
I'm getting off
Look! A betting centre!
Come with me
I thought you were broke
All the more reason to make a bet
Stupid!
So, what have you got for race 3?
How would I know?
You never played the ponies?
Great. Let me have $20!
It's only $20
Beginner's luck.
You're a winner for sure.
Come on! Give it here!
Let me rub off some of that luck.
Hurry up
This one! $20!
Keep an eye on my suitcase, will you?
Pass him, pass him, pass him!
Right on!
Really?
A winner by a mile. It's beautiful.
Are there any left?
What?
Noodles
Winning makes me extra hungry
No more, that's it
Let's go downstairs and get our money
Dinner's on me
You go ahead. I want to watch some TV.
What if I disappear with all the money?
Then I chuck your stuff
Take it easy. I'll do the cleaning
when I come back.
Big space.
You live here all by yourself?
It's really nice
So. We won $1,654
It's $800 for me and $800 for you.
The rest already went into our stomachs
Still some there
What are you doing with
all these paper underwear?
I move around
You don't expect me
to wash underwear, do you?
I want to take a shower
Don't worry, I'm not going to look.
I'd rather you go first
All right, all right
Let me make just one more
phone call, Okay.
I can never...
get hold of these guys
Page them
- Hey
- So?
Take it easy
Come on, relax!
I'm not one of your chicks
Don't waste your charm on me
Sleep with you? No!
Sleep here? Yes!
Let me stay one night please?
Second movement:
MOK MAN-YEE
You're early today
No work today
Yesterday was my last day
Why did you refuse to keep the key?
Oh don't bother
First I'll lose it
second I don't live here
Oh really? So you don't live here?
There aren't many left
but still have some principles.
Did you see someone move in just now?
Yeah. Monopolizing the elevator.
A real nuisance.
Check out the crimson sky
Yeah, it's beautiful
It's going to rain.
The turf may be soft tomorrow.
Aw, shut up!
You're driving me nuts!
First, a lot of people are still in bed
And second, you're playing stinks!
Twisted minds come in all kinds and forms.
She definitely qualifies for one
Listen. She's doing it on purpose
She likes it.
What can you do? Nothing!
You should wake up anyway
You have a novel to write
don't you?
How can?
With all these noises...
Bitch!
Ah ha! How about a woman
with a twisted mind?
She thinks she's so cool real hot shit.
She meets this weirdo
in a raincoat from downstairs.
The two of them find themselves
trapped inside an elevator...
I'll call it "Love in an Orange Box"
"S & M edition"
Good. Now get on with it
And quit messing around, okay?
This is your key
Hey. Small world!
I've been paging you.
Why didn't you return my call?
They disconnected me.
I couldn't pay the charges.
Miss Leung, please try it
Your hand is large and nice.
You are a fortunate person.
Really?
You have strong passions
Ah! And a long career line
Meaning I'll still be tuning pianos when I'm 100.
How's Mr. Yu these days?
He's retired
He used to tune my piano.
We got on quite splendidly.
And he said...
he wanted his grand daughter
to study with me.
Is that right?
Yes
Many high government officials
used to study with me.
Do you know this tune?
It begins like this...
That's J.S. Bach romancing his young wife.
Altogether he wrote more than 20 of them.
This minuet is the most famous
Straight-laced Bach writing love songs
can you imagine that?
Do you play the piano?
No
I first played this song when I was 7.
It's been more than 60 years
Look, the injured party is ready
to accept an apology
and not press charges.
What more do you want, buddy?
Save it
Let me put on my shoes and
I'll go down to the station with you.
It's up to you.
But once it enters my book its final.
Criminal vandalism.
You're looking at several years in the can.
Apologize? No way!
Get the car. Let's go to the station.
Get the car?
What're you talking about?
Do you think this is fun?
Do you think your're going on a joy ride?
Officer, what's going on?
Is this any of your business?
Bitch
Miss, I'm sorry
May I apologize to you
on behalf of my friend?
Is he dumb?
No, just stupid
Talk to the law
and quit ringing my bell
My friend just got laid off.
He's upset.
He'll really be done for
if you press charges.
How about this?
Let me repaint your grille.
There's another condition.
The tortoise stays there for three months.
You bitch! Three months!
Let me do it, okay?
Please
You'll just create more trouble.
Go on. Go downstairs and play your ponies.
Ponies my foot!
That bitch. The moment she comes back.
She starts torturing me with those tones.
I'm just starting my novel
Now all my inspiration is gone!
Go take a shower. You smell terrible.
I get you into this trouble
Don't you think she's better off dead?
Close the windows turn on the air-con
and you won't hear a thing.
Go on go. You're a nuisance.
Go.
You're the only person in the world
who's good to me.
Save it for the chicks.
My name's Chan Kar-Fu.
What's yours?
Good morning Uncle Wong.
Fu. Is that really you?
The night watchman said...
two cops went up to your place last night.
It's nothing. They're my friends.
Friend?
Uncle Wong
A few days ago a girl moved in, right?
I think it's the Sth floor
Is that right?
Hard luck, my boy.
She's right upstairs from you.
Stay out of her way. She's dangerous.
That day she moved in.
I watched her quarrel with the movers.
Said she wasn't going to tip them
and well she didn't.
Said they scratched her piano.
Those movers were big guys,
yet she wasn't afraid of them or anything.
So you see, she's tough and not good for you.
But you know that?
I just have the right girl for you.
Remember Mrs. Cheng from 8A?
She has a daughter her personality...
and her looks...
Some other day, Uncle Wong.
I got to go.
So what do you say?
I have to set up an appointment.
Good morning Uncle Wong.
Hi! Mrs. Cheng.
A quiet evening, isn't it?
That bitch!
May be she got run over by a car
and is now lying in the hospital.
You're so mean.
You dig her!
I what?
So there was antagonism in the beginning...
You wanted to do each other in
but in the middle of it...
You read too many cheap fictions.
Your brains are turning into Jell-O.
People actually buy these books?
What can I say?
And women actually fall for guys like you.
Now what do you say to that?
Did I ever send them flowers
call them on the phone
or pick them up from work.
That's what I say
this world is a twisted place.
Not a bad paint job on the grille, I say.
Nice shot
I'm going home now to play the piano.
If you can't stand my music, stay away.
Bye
Looks like I'd be looking for another place.
Scared?
She wants to play
but I'm not biting the bait. We'll see.
Hey, Fatty
The name's Faye
as in Faye Wong.
Does it matter?
I'm looking for a restaurant...
That has a good atmosphere
and not too expensive.
What do you recommend?
Sun Chiu Kee
Sun Chiu Kee?
The one in Causeway Bay
It has a fountain a statue of Venus.
Magnificent lighting
and French toasts are only $18.
So? Want to go out with me, huh?
Are you gay?
Just because I'm not interested
in dating you?
He's got a nice dick.
What?
I mean his jacket. It's a Dic-K-N-Y.
Sharp eyes you got.
You look at other people
other people look at you.
What is it this time?
Don't blame me.
It's her.
Miss...
Try not to take a shower
and cook at the same time.
People may die
It's lucky we didn't douse
your apartment
it could have been ruined.
Now go on upstairs,
open the windows and air the apartment.
It'll be okay.
Air the apartment, understand?
It's lucky that I found out in time.
At first I thought shit
she's going to kill me.
That's really taking it a bit far.
Miss, can I have you identity card please?
How could she get it in all that smoke?
You wouldn't even have time
to put on your underwear.
Stay away from all those people
Mr. Chan? I'm Mrs. Cheng from 8A.
This is my daughter.
Uncle Wong, the watchman
said the people in 4B are really nice.
Come visit us when you have time.
And make yourself at home.
It's going to take ages to clean up
No, I think this charcoal black
looks pretty cool.
It stinks
Ah, instant noodles. I'm famished!
But how are we going to cook them?
Let's come down to my place.
I don't know you very well
What're you talking about?
After what we went through?
Oh, it's a new jacket.
Damn!
It's okay. I'll wash it for you.
Chan Kar-Fu
Mok Man-Yee
Third movement:
YAU MUK-YAN and MOK MAN-YEE
Chan Kar-Fu
Chan Kar-Fu
Hey, wake up.
Don't you have to go to work?
Are you ill? Do you have a temperature?
Shut up!
Want me to call in sick for you?
There's a tonsillitis epidemic going on.
Let me have a look.
You should see a doctor
Do you want congee?
What kind do you like?
You asshole! I'll kill you.
Look at you. So violent.
The fever has made you demonic.
I never saw anything like that.
Look
People will think it's a hickey
I don't know lions are into S & M
They're just like you
I want to get some cigarettes
Why are you so violent?
Now you know what noise pollution is.
Well? Go!
Your piano's wacky
like you.
No wonder you never sound right.
Chan Kar-Fu knows how to tune a piano.
Your flatmate?
He's a professional.
That prig?
He's really cute.
You just don't know him.
He's better than you anyway.
At least he has a job.
A novelist by profession
and a horse gambler by moonlight.
I'm awfully busy.
Now leave. You're bothering me.
I don't want to
Your piano it's making eyes at me.
Oh really?
The piano is feminine in French.
That makes it a woman.
All women make eyes at me.
Don't patronize me.
The piano is masculine in French.
Je suis tres occupee!
Is that French again?
Oui. It means I'm awfully busy.
I don't have time this evening.
Something I say all the time.
Well then go on, leave
Get lose, go away!
Hey relax. Let's do a duet.
What is it? Are you so ill that
you've lost all appetite?
Don't waste food.
Why're you so hungry this early?
What did you do last night?
That's for me to know and you to find out.
Picked the quinella for Race 3
paid over $3,000.
What injustice!
This world is really twisted!
Shit. It's guys like us that
make guys like you look good
so useful and so practical.
Which means you won't be looking for a job?
I will, after the racing season.
In any case you won't be
working today, is that right?
Give me a break!
A lot of struggling artists have patrons.
Van Gogh has his brother and I have you.
When I become a novelist rich and famous...
I'll save you a big room
in my mansion on Red Hill Peninsula.
You, a novelist?
You haven't produced one single page.
Nag nag nag.
You're becoming more and more
like my mother. Nag nag nag!
Talk talk talk.
You have enough saliva to make tea.
By the way that bitch upstairs...
asked me out this weekend.
That bitch upstairs?
Sure. She's the bitch upstairs
and you're the tortoise downstairs.
I thought you didn't dig her.
Not so fast.
We're only going out.
For how long?
I'll call quits when I'm tired.
It won't go on all day.
I'm asking every time
you pick up a new chick
how long does the relationship last?
Word like "pick up" and "chicks"
They don't exist in my lexicon.
So, you want to go?
No.
No?
Mok Man-Yee, I kiss you!
Yau Muk-Yan watch your mouth!
Let us kiss Chan Kar-Fu!
Good
Chan Kar-Fu, I kiss you!
I've lost my voice from all the shouting
Got a throaty?
No
What about cough syrup?
No
American ginseng?
No
Chinese flu medicine?
No
You're so cruel
I'm going to pass some of
this sore throat on to you
Remember me?
Moore...
Demi Moore!
You're so nasty!
What? I'm Bruce Wills!
A minute ago there was not one customer
Look what's happening now
That's groupie behavior
Have you known him for long?
Not much longer than you.
Tell me about him. No, better not.
I don't want it to go back to him...
to make him think I want him.
Which means you really want him
In any case,
the guys I want are all the same
Better stay out of harm's way
When do you figure...
he'll get himself a real job?
Would you rather see him carrying
a briefcase, hanging his head...
and being ordered around?
I knew this guy from Form 3
He's in my class and was a lot like Yau.
He acted tough skipped classes
didn't do his homework.
But every time after class...
the girls would line
to lend him their homework.
The next year the guy just quit.
I didn't know if he went to
another school or what.
The girls turned funereal.
Even the teacher got a bit depressed
losing a favorite punching bag.
Do you envy him?
Go get some change.
The great novelist-to-be...
will be needing it
You know what?
You're beginning to sound like him.
No, I can't
Of course you don't know me
After Cindy ran into you again...
at the cafe that morning
Hey buddy, it's all over between us
I really love Cindy
I never loved anyone like I love her
And I thought she also loved me
But after that morning
she went home
and cried for two days and nights
I think she never loved me
I was just an asylum...
where she could lick her wounds
Why did you treat her so?
What's so good about you?
You got ban aid? You got panadol?
We're done playing and sleeping together.
It's time to make a U-turn
Can't make a U-turn
without a roundabout.
May be you've never had
the chance to be dumped.
But there's a first time to everything
Yau Muk-Yan, we're finished!
Good-bye
Are you looking for him?
He's not been back for a few days
Come on. That's not him.
A few days ago
I did the most daring thing
I ever did in my life...
It's always like this
One minute I tell myself to stay
clear of that sort
the next I throw myself into one
The more I want to play smart
the harder I fall
It's been so many years
Yet I still haven't learned
Except for one thing.
Don't give him the chance to dump you
take the initiative yourself.
Is there a difference?
Wonder how many betting centers
there are in Hong Kong?
Let's head back
Are you not looking for him anymore?
I never said I was looking for him
I should never have moved in here
The first time I laid eyes on him...
I knew it. Damn!
I'm damned!
Was it that morning
when he banged on your door?
It was that day
when I went apartment hunting
I looked out from the window
and saw him come back from roller-skating
He picked up a bottle of mineral water
and doused himself
And I said to the agent I'll take it.
Can I play the piano?
He never asked
He just sat down and played
I've found a job.
I start the day after tomorrow.
And I've fallen in love with a girl
But she wanted to dump me
No girl has ever closed a door in my face.
Mok Man Yee you're the first.
It's okay. I can do it
Is the job permanent or temporary?
Permanent, I guess
Work hard
and don't start hollering...
Got you.
It's something I like
going to morning training
talking to trainers...
writing. It's easy enough.
Let me lend you an alarm clock
You have to get up early
for morning training.
I really appreciate your putting me up
for such a long time.
It's okay
- One day when...
- Yeah, Red Hill Peninsula
Fourth movement:
Variations
Lingnam Publishing House
Just now...
A tall man brought it
Even the writing isn't right
It's supposed to be a novel
Close enough
The Auditor Lingnam Publishing House
Let me find out where he went to school
"The X O Pair"
written by Chan Kar-Fu
He got some nerve
And he wanted to be a writer
can you believe it?
Trash it. You have better things to do,
don't you?
Are you still here?
I'm almost ready to go
Bye
Friends, are you feeling lonely?
My name is Chan Kar-Fu
Would you like me to tell you a story?
Once upon a time...
In a faraway place called Town H...
was a very old cathedral.
One night,
two uninvited guest suddenly appeared.
For orphans the only way to improve...
their station in life was to study hard.
But these two characters...
liked to day-dream in class
So they failed all their tests.
One of them got a big zero.
The other got a big cross
So one of them became known as...
Cross...
and the other, Zero
It's obviously a children's story
Why do you say it's a love story?
Can you read?
Finish it first
I agree he doesn't write very well, but...
He doesn't write very well yet
you want me to finish it?
If I read everything that comes my way
I'll be here forever everlasting
One good thing...
about this writer is that...
He doesn't know cliches
like forever everlasting
Do you mind looking at me
when you speak to me?
Why do you always keep...
your head down?
You want something weird
I think this one's pretty weird
Dear listeners...
Do you find your work boring?
Would you like some excitement?
Why not go to the famous Haunted Ruins
to look for gold?
Those ruins have to this day scared...
exactly 100 people to madness
But no wonder.
Because invaluable treasures...
are known to be buried inside
So are there really gold
in the Haunted Ruins?
The answer may be a riddle
So, if you're interested...
to be the 101 ...
Hey Mr. Mask
Who called me?
Who is it?
Who called me just now?
Who is it?
Hey, Mr. Mask you're a dollar short
What did you say?
I asked you what did you say
Cross?
Zero?
Did you make this costume yourself?
Yours not so bad
Hey, I'm here first
But I opened the lock
I'm here. Come in.
What?
- There...
- What?
Cockroaches!
You need more than a flash light
going out in the evening.
Let's get out of here.
I don't see any jewelry here.
lf there was, it's all gone
Wait
Wow, gold! We're rich!
Bingo! Congratulations!
Finally,
someone is able to claim my gold
Now you can really live happily...
ever after.
Take it. Go on. Don't be afraid.
Take it all
You so lucky
what's your hurry?
I told you there's no such thing
as a free lunch
For all the gold that I've given you
I ask a small favor in return
It's not too much to ask isn't it?
See that music box?
Take it, find this person...
And say it to her for me
" I love you Mok Man-Yee"
Don't fail me!
Because if you do
I'll be on your heels
to the end of the world.
So we're done playing Santo Claus
Now what do we do with this?
It's a gift for you
So it's up to you
I think you also have a share in it
Be my guest, keep it
Not really. You be my guest.
It looks better on you.
No. You should have it
No. I don't want it!
No. I mean...
We spent all his gold.
We should do something for him in return.
He shouldn't ask people to say...
such corny things for him
My god. So many Mok Man-Yee in Town H
It'll take forever calling everyone of them
I think there're only addresses here
no telephone numbers
You don't say
Just pick one at random
Mouth it and call it quits
That's right
He's back again!
Just kidding
Let's look for them
one by one, okay?
You don't need to scare people
all the time, do you?
Poor chivalrous duo...
The first time they went out into world
and they met such fate.
Tutu, I beg you.
My boy has been crying all night
and I didn't sleep a wink.
This really isn't a good time for me...
to read stupid stories
But love stories are always stupid.
Do you think our readers...
will fall for this?
Some stupid spook trying every way...
to get those two characters...
To find that...
Mok Man-Yee
Maybe I am out of touch with love
and romance these days
But to me
the greatest love story will always be...
Dickens' " A Tale of Two Cities"
Well, everyone has his
or her way to express.
I think this Chan Kar-Fu...
is rather like Dickens in
" A Tale of Two Cities"
maybe he's using an indirect way
to express his feelings
for a certain individual.
All right
I'll finish it
But promise me one thing
Don't ever tell me again
it's "A Tale of Two Cities"
Is there a Miss Mok Man-Yee here?
That's me
The owner of this music box...
wishes to tell you " I love you"
Is he rich?
Go! Go! Go!
That's me
I don't think so
The person we're looking for is a woman
I was a woman but now I'm a man.
You have a problem with that?
We'll never find her
Where on earth is...
the real Mok Man-Yee?
That guy. He's really twisted
He played cool when he was alive
Now that he's dead, he put the load on us
Come to think of it
" I love you" is really corny
Imagine. A big man...
Braving embarrassment to say it
and getting no response whatsoever
How terribly humiliating
Obviously those three words are...
invented for men
What about the women?
If you love a man what do you say to him?
She says nothing, she waits.
She lets the guy do the talking.
Then she says
hmm, me too. That's it.
Hey, do you remember this place?
This song sounds familiar
Haven't we heard it somewhere before?
Over there!
We got it! We got it!
Mok Man-Yee is my aunt
When I was young,
she used to play me a song.
In fact it's the same song over
and over again.
She never got married
It looks like all these years,
she was waiting for someone.
When I started making music myself
she was already quite old.
Seeing that she's waited so many years
I wrote a song...
and put the telephone number
into the lyrics
lf they are really meant for each other
then may be...
Where's your aunt now?
She's passed on
Didn't even wait for us
My aunt's one no longer works
I love you Mok Man-Yee
I've known it all the time
I'm going
Me too
Here in this world
every second there's out there...
waiting to say those
Which explains why florists do
such good business
Right! I know a business...
that's perfect for the two of us.
Cross and Zero.
Us?
L-O-V-E Express
A Mr. Romeo...
wishes to tell you
He loves you very much!
Get out of here!
She's marrying me tomorrow!
Mr. Casanova...
sends us to tell you
He's madly in love with you!
Go to hell!
How gentle is the rain
that falls softly on the meadow
birds high up on the trees
serenade the clouds with their melody.
Oh, see their beyond the hills
the bright colors of the rainbow.
Some magic from above
made this day for us
just to fall in love.
You hold me in your arms
and say once again you love me
and if your love is true
everything will be just as wonderful.
Now, I belong to you
from this day until forever
just love me tenderly
and I'll give to you every part of me.
Oh, don't ever make me cry
through long lonely night
without love?
Be always true to me
keep this day in your heart eternally
You hold me in your arms
and say once again you love me
and if your love is true
everything will be just as wonderful.
I want to tell you...
You don't have to.
I've know it all along.
Some people find their Mok Man-Yees
But some people don't
That's the way it is
It reads much better
after you've edited it
Are you not going home yet?
You're unbelievable
You've resigned and still you work so hard.
I don't want my successor
to handle my mess
Do they pay you well over there?
That's not the issue
That's right
The people here are too conservative
A smart woman like...
you should go outside
and stretch your wings
You know, I really hate to see you go
I think everyone here will miss you
So maybe some other time...
Yes, I hope I can have the chance...
to work with you again.
All right then.
Good luck with your work
I'm going
It's raining outside
It's okay. My car is parked...
I know
I always see you getting
your car in the rain.
I have an extra umbrella.
Please take it.
All right. Don't stay up too late.
So, what's up?
Big-time writer?
What's up?
How did you do it?
You never said you loved her
What good would it do?
I just think...
it's plain stupid that you didn't
Let's just say we travel on different roads
Well you may want...
to go on forever on your road
I'm moving on
I'm moving
This time I'll be on my own
No harm learning to pay my own rent.
Moving to Chai Wan
It's not too far away
from Red Hill Peninsula
" A Tale of Two Cities"
No promise off-air play.
Luck prevails
somewhere someone find his Mok Man-Yee.
Others just pursue in vain.
This is life
except from "The X O Pair" by Chan Kar-Fu