....
The year, 1095 AD.
The once mighty
Byzantine Empire
and the holy land
of Jerusalem
continue to fall under the
wrath of the soldier Turks.
In retaliation,
Pope Urban II calls upon all
devoted knights of Europe.
Thousands take up arms.
Thus is the beginning
of the Crusades.
A holy war that would
last for over 200 years,
giving birth to the strongest
religious military force
the world had ever known,
the order
of the Knights Templar.
And from their ranks arose
one of their greatest leaders,
Lord Mordest McGirk
Gregoire of Redding.
Many believed his sword
was blessed by God himself.
I have counted the gold,
and it is quite a sum.
Just as you have
made your pact
with the devil.
Truly you and I
have given our lives
to the service
of the king.
There is talk we captured
a wagon full of gold today.
I am better than you.
This opportunity together.
You will have
none of it.
Let there be...
I would rather be eaten
by a pack of wolves.
There's been
a lot of your evil...
You must keep
them divided...
Behind you!
I shall enjoy enough fortune
for ten lifetimes of excess!
You've lost
your way.
Nay, brother.
I have found it.
And I will attain it with
the treasure in yond wagon.
Now Gregoire, it is
time for you to die.
So be it.
You've made your
pact with the devil.
You will have your
ten lifetimes of excess
but then...
I will come for you.
All of you.
My brothers,
I must speak to you in
regarding the order of business
for which we have
gathered here tonight.
Seven hundred
years have passed.
And as prophesied, the ordained
time will soon be upon us.
It will be your duty
to reunite
their kindred spirits
so that he may fulfill his destiny
and as spoken from
his lips to God's ear,
he will return
for his vengeance
and deliver the souls of the accursed
to... hell...
for all eternity.
That's it, I guess.
Wow, it's a castle.
Yeah, enjoy
your stay, Jake.
What's your name again?
Cecilia.
Cecilia.
That's a pretty name.
Thank you.
Pretty girl,
pretty name.
Small car.
Okay.
Hello?
Nobody home.
Wow.
I will come for you.
For all of you.
Hello.
Continuing warrior position.
Your knee directly
above your ankle.
Your leg comes directly on the floor
like a pillar.
The black glove at hand.
You are a pillar of strength.
As you settle, relax
your lower back...
Oh, God.
It's getting worse.
What's happening to me?
A package for you,
Father Paul.
What is it?
I don't know.
I found it on the altar,
along with this note.
Well, what does it say?
It just reads
'Father Paul'.
I don't want
to be disturbed.
By anyone.
There you go.
No? Not yours.
Lord Gregoire.
Thank you, Malcolm.
My most valiant warrior.
I know not what we would do
without your swordsmanship
and that, of
your brother Menas.
Although from a land quite
foreign to us, Armenia,
we are truly blessed
to have both the first
and the second
greatest warrior
of all the Mediterranean
fight by our sides.
Thank you, my lord.
But, it is your sword
that guides us.
Stand in my
light, brother.
Fast and righteous.
I am the best.
How does it feel to
be number two, Menas?
How would it feel
to be dead?
...defending the true
cross, my brothers.
Once more, you have fought
bravely and with great honor.
As have you, Gregoire.
As have you.
I thank you, Renault,
my fellow knight.
Gregoire...
there is talk we captured
a wagon full of gold today.
Is this true?
Yes, Renault.
A wagon full of gold.
The grand master
will be very pleased.
And all in the
name of the cause.
As you know, there are
those who are not able
to make the correct
choice of following God.
They are not free in
mind, body, or spirit.
Blinded by the
ill forces of evil.
Fortunately, however...
we have blessed
with the charge...
to provide all mankind with the
opportunity to go their own way.
These heathens, upon whom
we drew swords this day,
made it their trade
to scorn and persecute
defenseless men, women,
and children of pureness.
But, with the strength
of our gallant horses
and the might
of our skillful swords,
these tyrants shall
spread evil no more.
We are the Knights Templar!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Templar!
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Oh.
Hi.
Who are you?
I be Shauna the chef.
Shauna? The chef?
They told me
you were a... cook.
Ah, they lied to you.
Evidently.
Who, uh...
who would be in charge of me money?
Oh. Hello.
I'm Jake McCallister.
Weekend Coordinator.
- And...?
- And...?
And me money?
You haven't cooked
anything yet, Shauna.
Huh, perhaps
you're right.
You have pretty eyes.
Ohhh...
you're so nice.
And you're so sweet.
Ohhh...
Ah!
Ooh.
Okay.
Excuse me,
can I help you?
Do you have my pay?
Pay? Who are you?
Allow me to
introduce myself.
My name is Benoit, the
butler's for the weekend.
Oh, you're Benoit
the butler?
Good timing.
I got some grocery bags
at the general store
I gotta pick up.
Do you mind helping me?
No.
Then there is my son.
I told him not
to marry that woman,
but he did.
No one is listening
to me anymore.
Everyone is
leaving me behind.
Father Paul?
Well, it's showtime.
Welcome everyone.
Benoit will take your
luggage to your rooms.
Orientation in 15 minutes.
Refreshments are inside.
Excuse me, Miss? Do you mind
identifying your luggage?
I have nothing else.
Thank God.
Well?
The bags?
Thank you.
Hey, stud.
Have a light?
Um, I don't smoke.
That's not what I asked.
I win, you lose.
Win? I didn't know
we were competing.
What's wrong
with competition?
Although it looks like you're
not gonna be much competition.
- Henry, right?
- Yeah.
I read your file,
what you're into.
It's not that
I'm judging you,
the whole animal thing.
Uh, we're cool. Don't worry,
boss, just competing. "
This one right here.
I'm gonna do dirty
shit to that one.
I don't think so, dude.
She's, uh, she's here
for a different reason.
It doesn't matter.
This is my time.
I'll do whatever
the fuck I want.
Dude, I said not her.
Okay? Leave it alone.
- Sorry.
- No, it's cool. I like it.
We're competing already.
It's good.
If you do that again, I'm
gonna cut your fuckin' throat.
Alright?
Okay.
Bad boy.
Whatever.
Is somebody missing?
The other one
never showed up.
I hope that doesn't
ruin your plans.
My plans? Why would it
ruin my plans? Less work.
Well, they're
all yours now.
Yep. Um...
am I supposed
to tip you?
Hm. Tip me?
It was an honor just
being in your presence.
Okay. Uh...
well, thanks pal.
It was a pleasure
serving you.
We wish you
the best of luck.
Godspeed.
Godspeed.
Hi, I'm...
I'm Amy.
Hi, Amy.
I'm Jake.
So you're the...
So you're a professional
events coordinator?
Actually, no.
I was doing a play,
and a guy approached
me after the show.
And he just like,
gave me the gig.
He said he was from...
Switzerland, I think.
Oh, you're an actor.
That is so cool,
I love reality TV.
Reality TV?
Hello, everyone.
And welcome to our individual
fantasy getaway weekend.
My name
is Jake McCallister,
and I'll be your host
and events coordinator.
My mission is to make sure
everything is carried out as planned.
That's my task.
I believe that's
why I'm here.
Now, can anyone tell
me the number one rule?
Amy.
We're not supposed to
tell anyone why we're here
because it will ruin the
surprise and defeat the challenge.
Excellent. But,
as coordinator,
I will know each
of your personal agendas.
Let's meet up,
Celine...
Henry...
Amy...
and Japoniko, right?
Am I saying
that correctly?
Do you mind if
I talk to you alone?
I read your file
on the plane.
I didn't see your
request for the weekend.
In order for me to purvey
your activities, I...
You don't know why you're here, do you?
I'm Events Coordinator.
We'll talk later.
Okay?
Okay guys, grab a snack,
and I'll be right back.
Let me guess,
you must be Ashley.
- That's me.
- You weren't supposed to drive,
you were supposed to be
picked up at the airport
like everybody else.
Those are the rules.
Rules I make
up as I go along.
# Talk to my hand
Alrighty then,
Ms. Ashley.
Come on inside,
meet the guests,
and I'll take
care of your luggage.
Great. Uh... store it
in the garage over there.
And... no scratches.
Hmph.
Hey everybody,
this is Ashley.
- And she's going to be...
- Leaving. I'm outta here.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
You can't leave.
You just got here.
Besides, you won't get...
I am not
spending one moment
with a bunch
of goddamn low lives.
They're not even
in my social class.
Look at this one.
Her family is low to
middle income, if lucky.
Look at the cheap
outfit she's wearing.
My mother made
this shirt for me.
"My mother made
this shirt for me. "
No fucking class.
You need a milieu with
socialites like myself.
Jetsetter getaway
weekend, my ass.
Get my luggage, boy.
I'm leaving.
You can't buy class.
What did you say?
I said, you
can't buy class.
And what's that
supposed to mean?
Evidently, you can't
buy intelligence, either.
And who are you to tell me what to
do?
I'm the events
coordinator.
You call that a job?
Yeah. The ends
justify the means.
That sounds
like something
a fucking unemployed
game show host would do.
Yeah, kind of
like an actor
doing dinner theater
in Schenectady.
You're a loser.
You're all fucking losers.
Shut up.
I've had enough
of the offending language.
Your leaving now means
absolutely fucking nothing.
Go. Get your
own luggage.
You'll hear
from my attorney.
Oh, darn it.
It's all right.
It's okay.
Hear me, Gregoire.
You cannot escape
your destiny.
We must keep
them divided.
I would rather be eaten
by a pack of wolves
than allow your evil venom
to course through my veins.
Deceit... betrayal... revenge.
Forgive me, my lord.
Pretend!
Deceitbetrayalrevenge.
Gregoire.
Gregoire.
Deceitbetrayalrevenge.
Help me, my lord.
It is your time.
It is your place.
Ugh, he didn't
fucking cover it!
Oh, you are so sued.
Come on.
Come on!
Oh, what the fuck.
He disconnected
my battery cables.
Very funny, asshole.
What is this shit?
I hate oldies.
Who the hell are you?
# Ho, ho, ho,
It's magic #
# You know
Who the hell
are you?
What is this,
a masquerade ball?
How come I
wasn't invited?
You can see
through there?
# Never believe
It's not so #
# Never been awake
Never seen a day break #
# Leaning on my pillow
In the morning #
# Lazy day in bed
# Music in my head
# Crazy music playing
# In the morning light
You see the way
he grabbed her throat?
The guy's
a fuckin lunatic.
Seriously, both of you
stay away from him.
I think it's kinda sexy,
the way he takes charge.
Like a tiger.
Yeah? You like that? You
like the rough stuff, right?
Sometimes I like
it rough. And hard.
What about you?
You like the rough stuff?
No, no one's ever
stuck up for me before.
Whatever.
So a tiger, huh?
I can be a tiger.
Here you go.
Thank you.
What's that?
I don't know. Somebody
left it here awhile ago.
Where's Japoniko?
Where's the television?
There isn't one.
Jake, where are
me groceries?
Oh, um, I was
just on the way.
We want our guests
to eat tonight.
Can I tag
along with you?
Um, you
know the rules.
That no one can leave the
property, I understand.
Right. You
know what?
Okay guys,
until I get back,
Amy is now in charge
of recreation.
- Me?
- You.
But you haven't given
me any formal training.
Listen. Your reason for coming
here this weekend was what?
To build confidence, right?
So sometimes it's best
to just jump in the water.
Get a little wet.
You'll be fine.
I hope so. Cause one day I want
to be a good assistant to someone.
Assistant? That's kinda
odd because I see you
more as
a leader of men.
You have
unlimited potential.
You think so?
You'd be great.
So. What do you guys
feel like doing?
I guess relax,
grab a snack,
and wait for Mr. Weekend
Coordinator to get back.
I can think of one or two things to do.
Or three.
We could play a game.
There's four of us,
we could do teams or...
I didn't come
here to play games.
Okay, silly idea.
We could play
strip poker.
I'm not good
at cards.
Even better.
What is that?
It looks like
an old story book.
What's it about?
The inscription reads,
'Here tells a
tale of passion,
loyalty, deceit,
betrayal, and revenge. '
Sounds good to me.
You read to us.
Okay. Here we go.
An omniscient moon
radiates through
the night.
We find ourselves
in a time when men
Would bravely and honorably
fight and die
in the name
of the true cross.
We see the remains of a
small band of Templar knights.
Sergeants and stewards,
all of whom were pushed out of
their homelands quite some time ago.
It is the aftermath of yet
another long day of battle.
Their coats of mail
vary in color
to distinguish
their rank.
However, all their uniforms
have one thing in common:
They all proudly bear
the eight pointed cross,
a symbol of purity
and a reflection of the
crusaders' vow of chastity.
Gregoire, the leader of
this band of Templar knights,
takes in
his surroundings
and the results
of the day's events.
He is our hero.
Wait, wait, wait. What's
this hero guy look like?
It's a storybook.
You make up hero.
He can look like
whatever you want.
Whoever I want?
Lord Gregoire!
What do you
have for me?
- An apple, my lord.
- Thank you.
- Thank you, my lord.
- I'll enjoy this.
You stand in my way,
sergeant. What is your name?
Melkon.
Melkon.
You find
humor in this?
Well, t'is a little
foreign to my ear.
Did I miss something
of importance here?
We fought
victoriously today
under the leadership
of Lord Gregoire.
Lord Gregoire, yes,
I've heard of him.
He's one of the greatest
leaders of our time.
Really?
Catch.
Mm. Delicious.
So this is where you've
been all day, huh?
Picking apples.
Hm. What can I say?
I love the orchard.
And the blood?
Is it yours?
It is now.
Messy business, huh,
this apple picking.
It is. How are
you, my brother?
I'm ready to go to battle
again on your command, my lord.
I'm not your lord,
I am your brother.
Yes, my lord.
We won,
Gregoire, we won!
Yes, again we
were victorious.
When will I be ready to fight, my lord?
We've spoken
of this, Koko.
Every day!
Then when?
It is not your time,
little one.
It is not
your place.
You always say...
Koko, is there not
somewhere of more importance
where you should be?
Yes, my lord.
Then get there.
Aha, yes, my lord.
Yes, my lord.
But when you need
me, I am ready.
Get that from him.
He is waiting
for the day
you allow him to
shield and fight.
And he'd be
lost in an instant.
His strength lies not
in sword, dear Melkon...
but in here...
his heart.
Sergeant?
Vicinity scouted,
my lord. All sound.
Excellent.
Where's Devereux?
Dwyer?
How many did we lose?
Nearly a third, my lord.
Prisoners?
Prisoners?!
None, they would not surrender, my lord.
Ah. Such valor.
If only their
beliefs were proper.
Ah then,
scour the acre.
We leave no man behind.
We've already been
around twice, my lord.
Then you need only scour once more.
Yes, my lord.
Hello? Anybody home?
Hello, children.
I heard we had some visitors in town,
and I wanted to take
the opportunity...
Who is it?
Oh, hello Father.
Is there something we
can help you with, Father?
Because if this is
about money donations,
we happen to be short
on money at the moment.
This is not
about money.
It's just that I wanted
to welcome you to town
and take the opportunity to
invite you to the house of God.
That's peculiar,
Father, because
well, I'm from here,
and so is she, and, um...
we've never
seen you before.
You attend Mass?
- No.
- No.
Well, that's why
you haven't seen me.
But now we
know each other,
I'll be sure that I see
you again very, very soon.
And I'm looking
forward to it.
Well, who do
we have here?
I'm really glad
I stopped by.
It's certainly...
a refreshing surprise...
to have you all here.
And it's more than
I had bargained for.
I'll see you in church.
All of you.
Sunday in church.
It's weird, I feel
like I know him.
So do I.
But it's most strange,
he's not the only one
I feel like this about.
Any good?
Oh hey. I didn't
see you come in.
So, any good?
Oh, that? No, just
a hobby I picked up.
Mostly for cardio.
You know, trying to keep
the old midsection flat.
I've tried so many things.
Tennis, swimming.
But, uh... that one stuck. Go figure.
Go figure.
Thank you.
So, what can
I do for you?
Oh, right. I'm at
the Rhein estate
I'm here to pick up an order
for a, uh, chef called Shauna
Irish.
Crossdresser.
That's her... him.
Him.
Coming right up.
Thank you.
Yeah, he comes
in here, uh...
once in a while
with that Benoit guy.
Crafty couple those two.
Couple? They
know each other?
You could say that, yeah.
They're not like, married.
No, just living in sin.
Times have changed.
How much I owe you?
You're all set.
The people that own that estate,
they have an account here.
Alrighty then...
have yourself
a nice day.
You too.
Say...
do I know you
from someplace?
You ever been
on a reality TV show?
No. Wrong guy.
Ah.
Hey, um...
You need help.
As far as...
The bags, I'll help
getting them into your car.
Naw, I'm on foot.
Alone?
Yes, alone.
Ha. Well, you've got
yourself a load there
that might just be too
heavy for you to carry.
Tell you what,
if you need a ride
I can just close up the
store for ten minutes,
that's all it'll take. It's okay.
It's my responsibility.
They're mine.
All of them.
A simple, more
peaceful life.
Well, goodbye
old friend.
So how does
that sound?
Sounds good,
but the music?
No blues, no jazz.
Are you going out?
Yeah, for a bit.
Down to the pub. Mickey
is hosting a poker party
for some
out of town patsy.
It's a lock,
should triple this.
So Mickey will have
his hands on the deal then.
Make sure that you
triple this as well.
Mi amor.
Save me a plate, will ya?
Yeah, what are
you doing here?
Well, it's
about time.
It was a long walk.
So, uh... where's Benoit?
Who?
Benoit, the butler?
Ah, yes, yes, yes.
I saw him
for only a moment.
He's working hard
on something, I think.
I'm sure.
Well, um...
you're doing a great job.
And...
American, a little bonus.
Ah.
Enjoy it while you can.
I cannot
believe those men.
Taking a lifetime
vow of poverty.
And chastity?
Come on.
I know were not supposed
to speak about why we're here
but I believe you know
my reasons, what I am.
It's pretty obvious;
you're a prostitute.
And money talks.
Is this a problem?
Nope, not for me.
I'm here for
a sex weekend.
Good. Then it works
for me and for you.
How about
a little sample?
Yes.
Oh, you dirty
little whore.
Oh, you dirty
little whore.
All better now.
I knew
it was you.
I need to get the plumber
to work on that thing.
Shauna...
Whoa.
Jesus Christ.
I don't believe this.
Now I have to cook...
and clean.
We should have take-out.
You're all back, great.
I read a little ahead and the
story picks up the next day
after Gregoire gives
a speech to his men.
But then again,
Gregoire might not be
so easily persuaded.
We must keep them divided and
unarmed
if we are to meet
with success.
You have a question?
Are we enough?
What if Gregoire resists?
His sword is said to be
blessed by God himself.
That is why we must
hold to our course.
Catch them... unawares.
And what of Melkon?
He is known to fight with
the strength of a dozen men.
What say you
to that, brother?
He is your blood.
I never liked
his shadow.
Some say he is
slightly better.
Could not that have
waited until after?
No.
You... shall take his
position. Yes, my lord.
Bury the body
in the brush.
And the head.
Pick it up!
Thank you.
Have I
forgotten something?
You spoke not
of the division.
Yes, my lord.
What is our share?
You shall each
receive a tenth.
A tenth?
Each?
Hmm. More than twenty
fold your greatest harvest.
Milord.
Over there!
Koko!
He spies on us!
Catch him!
Bring the freak here.
Alive.
Hold him.
Higher!
You're no match
for Gregoire and Melkon.
Bind him and gag him.
Hide him close by.
That gold shall be mine...
be he with us
or against us.
Have you gathered
the volunteers, sergeant?
Renault, Menas and several
others offered before we need ask.
Interesting.
But all that gold,
my lord?
Will so few men suffice?
A party of too many will
draw suspicion, sergeant.
Have the men meet us at
the abbey in a day's time.
- Yes, my lord.
- Godspeed, my lord.
I can't believe it.
Gregoire and Melkon are gonna
walk right into the trap.
Maybe they will be
persuaded by Renault.
If Gregoire is smart,
he will listen
and they will steal
the gold together.
But Gregoir isn't like
that, nor is Melkon.
Then he's in trouble,
so is Melkon.
Because Renault, Menas
definitely want the gold.
Are you blind
or just stupid?
It wasn't about
the money for Menas.
Then what's
the excuse?
One brother's dick's bigger
than the other brothers?
Come on.
At least, if
it's about money
then there's
a reason, right?
I agree.
Money is
a great motivator.
Money isn't everything
and it's not a reason
to turn
against each other.
Yeah, whatever.
I need a cigarette.
My ass is sore from sitting,
playing cards, couch.
I think I soak in tub before dinner.
Are you coming?
No, I think I'm gonna
stay here for a second.
Hm!
Do I know you
from some place?
Goodbye, old friend.
I would like
to have bath.
But there
is no towels.
Bring some up to me?
In a moment.
How long before
dinner's ready?
Soon.
I would like
to have you now.
I'm not on
the menu.
Maybe I can change that.
There's no smoking
in the kitchen.
What's your
problem with me?
Are you gay?
Why don't
you want me?
How's this for
a little incentive?
I'm not
a paid up customer.
For you,
I make exception.
I don't think so.
It's not
why I'm here.
Oh, I will try
to remember this.
But it might
not be so easy.
Especially if you continue
to let me make it so hard.
Or maybe you like
to be the one in charge.
Is that it?
Would you like it better
if you have to take it...
like an animal, like an
animal, like an animal?
I'd slap
you right now,
but you'd
probably like it.
Do you like
to play rough, Jake?
Just with assholes.
Who are you to judge
me for what I do?
Prostitution may be one of
the oldest professions, Celine,
but it doesn't make it
proper in my eyes.
But that's not it.
What I despise most
about you, Celine,
isn't what you do,
but who you are...
deep down inside,
and that over time,
you've done absolutely
nothing to correct it.
Fine, but in the meantime
remember what I am.
Of course, you're
a dirty... little... whore.
Yes, a dirty little whore.
It's been very weird.
In all honesty,
you'll get what's
coming to you,
and more...
much, much more.
Now get out
of my kitchen.
Hm.
Huh.
Hello?
Mr. Jake, is that you?
Did you change your mind?
It's your loss.
Not mine.
Hm.
# I beg you not to go
But you said goodbye #
# Now you're telling me
All these lies #
# I hear you knocking
Mirror mirror,
on the wall...
Ah. You know
you want me.
# I hear you knocking
Ooh.
Music's kinda loud, huh?
# Ohhh, yeah!
# Come on
# Oooh Hooo!
On the count
of three.
One, two, three.
What? You want more?
Hm? Hm? Oh!
Oh.
What?
You want more?
What? You can't handle it?
Uh-uh-uh.
No. Not for you, Jake.
# I hear you knocking
# Go back where you been
# I told you
Way back in '52 #
# That I would
Never go with you #
# I hear you knocking
# But you can't come in
# I hear you knocking
# Go back where you've been
Celine? Do you mind turning
down the music a little?
# You better get back
To your use-to-be #
# 'Cause your kind
Of love ain't good to me #
What's going
on in there?
I didn't get
a radio in my room.
Thank you!
I speak and
people listen.
You're back. Great.
Maybe I can continue
with the story.
Yeah, why don't you
read some more to us?
Claudius...
easy.
You seem pensive.
What are your
thoughts, Melkon?
Of no import, my lord.
We have no boundaries.
You may speak to me.
That is it.
Ha.
That is just it. With
you, there is no jealousy,
no avarice,
no scorn.
But with my
own blood brother...
Melkon.
Ill will betwixt brothers
has ever been common.
Look at Romulus
and Remus,
Cain and Abel...
My brother is no Cain!
Forgive me, please.
I should not have
raised my voice at you.
It is understandable.
Your brother's contempt
occupies your thoughts.
My worries may
be for naught.
Let us hope.
But there is
one thing more.
Speak your heart.
T'is nothing... really.
Malcolm, speak to me.
It is just a thought
that troubles me betimes.
And that is?
Trading my sword for a
simple, more peaceful life.
Ah. Yes.
But only betimes.
Pray, misunderstand
me not, my lord.
Being the best does
too have its advantages.
Hm, yes.
Worship...
praise, adoration.
- No.
- No?
Then of what advantage
do you speak, brother?
It allows me to be in
your presence, my lord.
Let us ride.
Thank you, my lord.
I'm not your lord.
I am your
brother, Melkon.
My lord,
they are here.
Arm yourselves.
Be not obvious.
On my signal.
My time is now.
Easy, Claudius, easy.
Whoa.
I have counted the gold,
and it is quite a sum.
You have done
well, Gregoire.
We have done well.
The Grandmaster
will be very pleased.
Though wrested from
the hands of evil,
this unforeseen treasure
will serve great purpose.
Many hungry will
be fed tonight.
Many poor will
be clothed.
The villages, restored.
All in the name
of the cause.
You speak naught
but the truth, brothers.
Has anyone
seen Koko?
Ah, he is fetching
water for travel.
Hm.
Might I have a word
with you, Gregoire?
Of course.
Brother...
could you share
with me your, uh...
shielding technique
with the dagger thrust?
Gregoire?
Come, let us
talk, brother.
When thrusting in with the
dagger, and then over...
We turn to
our weapons, milord.
Will you have us put a sharp
edge to your dagger and sword?
Indeed.
I thank you.
And yours, my lord?
Be careful
with it, please.
Ah, such magnificence.
I shall give it
a fine edge, my lord.
But gingerly, sergeant,
I need enough steel to
last yet 100 battles more.
Yes, 100 battles more.
Truly you and I have
given our lives
- to the service of the true cross.
- Oh?
And yet, strange,
is it not,
we have been granted not for
our years of loyal service.
No tribute for a life of
poverty, chastity and obedience.
No reward.
Oh, Renault.
Old friend.
You are tired, and you
are weary from battle.
You mean not
what you say.
But there are
the others.
Knights that are
paid to fight
and they are allowed
to keep their winnings.
Mercenaries? Those who
covet glory and riches?
We are not
warmongers, Renault.
We are of a
different breed.
Aye, and t'is our unity that
gives us strength, is it not?
By God's divine grace,
we are a glorious force.
Skilled at
confronting the enemy,
luring him in,
catching him unawares.
Victorious time
and time again!
Aye, victorious.
And to the victors
goes the spoils.
Such is the way of
conquering nations, is it not?
Conquering nation?
I did not know we'd
become a conquering nation.
I was under the belief that
we're still yet an order. Hm?
And I say to you it is
time we cease to worry
about the welfare of
the poor and the weak!
Let their fate be in the hands of God.
How has your heart
become so blackened?
I see it in your eye.
You've lost your way.
Nay, Brother.
I have found it.
And I will attain it with
the treasure in yond wagon.
Let us seize this
opportunity together, Gregoire.
Truly we would have none
of it if not for you.
Think of the comforts
such a treasure would buy.
The pleasures that we
might finally delight in.
What say you, brother?
I would rather be eaten
by a pack of wolves
than allow your evil venom
to course through my veins.
You are
an honorable man.
Pity.
Melkon! Behind you!
My Lord...
My Lord...
Shhh.
I'm sorry, my Lord.
I am but
small and weak.
I failed you.
Would you forgive me?
You are braver
than any man
I have ever
met in battle.
Was I a good servant?
Servant? No.
I see you more as a leader of men.
Thank you, my lord.
Thank you.
Brother, how will
you sleep tonight?
Knowing that I'm
no longer number two.
Oh!
Turn. Turn
and look at me
that I may see your
face as I take your life.
No, I will not give
you that satisfaction.
You have not earned it.
I am better
than you.
Only in cowardice,
my dear brother.
Only in cowardice.
Best of friends,
dear Melkon.
We were... best of friends.
Dear brothers, farewell.
We shall ride again...
backstabbers.
The people can fend
for themselves, brother.
In the meantime, I shall enjoy enough
fortune for ten lifetimes of excess!
And now Gregoire, it
is time for you to die.
So be it.
But I will avenge
the deaths of my brothers.
You have made your pact
with the devil, Renault.
You will have your
ten lifetimes of excess.
But then...
I will
come for you.
All of you.
Whoever wrote
this inscription
wasn't kidding.
Passion, loyalty,
deceit, betrayal...
And revenge.
Right.
And revenge.
Do you think Gregoire is
going to carry out his curse?
Yes.
Most definitely.
They have
like 10 lifetimes.
Say they realize
their mistakes,
that they made...
and they
try to rebuild...
what is it called?
Their spiritual temples.
Do you think that
he would spare them?
Perhaps.
But I believe one must
truly desire to change.
And even then, ultimately,
it'll be in God's hands.
And if they don't
change their ways?
Then as prophesized...
Lord Gregoire will
kill them all,
without mercy,
and take their wretched souls to hell.
It is spoken from his
lips to God's ears...
it is the inevitable.
What are your thoughts?
I'd say go for the ten
lifetimes of excess.
I mean, what
the fuck, right?
I don't agree.
But I guess everybody has a
right to their own opinion.
You're smart.
And you're cute too.
You think I'm cute?
Yep. I noticed you first
time we got in the car.
I think we should
spend this time
to get to know
each other better.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
I'm just getting
to know you.
What happened
to Celine?
Celine isn't
here right now!
Stop! Stop it!
Stop!
Fuck! Yo! You said
everyone was free game!
I said not her!
Fine! Fuck it. Not her then, my fault.
Shit.
Fuck you.
I should have never left
you alone with him. Ever.
Look at me.
It won't happen again.
He'll never
touch you again.
Hear me?
I'm sorry, Amy.
Okay?
Yeah.
Jake!
Jake!
Jake?
Seven hundred
years have passed,
You will have your
10 lifetimes of excess.
And as prophesized,
the ordained time
will soon be upon us.
Their kindred spirits
will soon be aligned
for the reprisal of he who
was betrayed so long ago
so that one day he may
fulfill his destiny.
My mission is to make
sure that everything
is carried out
as planned.
That's my task.
Your leaving now
changes nothing.
To deliver the souls
of the accursed
to hell for all eternity.
I believe that's
why I'm here.
I will come for
you, all of you.
And as spoken from
his lips to God's ear,
he will return
for his vengeance.
It is the inevitable.
Like the threads?
You do wear
it well.
Thank you.
It's befitting
of you and habitual,
once again mimicking
the life of a man of God...
and now a priest.
A great cover,
don't you think?
Free meals. A cut
from the Sunday basket.
No tax and most of all,
beautiful nuns
and the altar boys.
What could be better?
I tried the Rabbi
thing, but...
too much to learn.
And that Kaballah, oy!
You just love giving religion
a bad name, don't you?
I aim to please.
Did you get
my calling card?
I kill these two over,
and over, and over...
for 700 years,
and each time was more
enjoyable than the last.
Nobody steals
my fortune. Nobody.
Yours? It was never yours
to begin with, Renault.
Renault?
Anyway... you know
the old saying,
Have you considered any of the
turning the other cheek business?
You know, let
bygones be bygones.
Not today.
Pity. Do you remember the
man you made the mistake
of calling the second greatest swordsman
in all of the
Mediterranean? Menas!
If she's Menas, then
I must be... Melkon.
Once again.
The advantage of surprise.
Really? Catch.
Hm. Delicious.
I see you've returned
to picking apples.
Occupational hazard.
Any of that
blood yours?
T'is now.
Who the hell is he?
The Shopkeeper
from down the road.
The shopkeeper?
And how in God's name
is he going to help you?
He wasn't always
a shop keeper.
Hello Menas.
It's been a long time.
Yes, it
has been, Melkon.
Melkon? I thought I was...
Melkon? You
must be shitting me.
As you took
your dying breath,
I did not regret your
death, my brother,
but only the fashion
in which it occurred.
You chose it.
I intended on
killing you honorably.
I robbed myself of knowing
that I was the best.
And since that night
I've waited in limbo
for 700 years
for this very moment,
to prove that I am
the superior swordsman.
I have no desire
to fight you.
I'm not leaving
you with a choice.
Ah.
My liege.
Looks like we'll have ourselves
a fair fight this time.
Yes, my lord.
If I've told you once, I've
told you a thousand times:
I am not your lord,
I am your brother, Melkon.
Yes, my lord.
Whatever.
I will not live in
your shadow any longer.
The only shadow
you live in
is the one you
cast for yourself.
I shall cut you ten times.
Once for each
lifetime of excess.
Or perhaps 700, eh?
One for each year of sin.
Come and get it!
Oh, I plan to!
You betrayed us.
You swore never to betray
us and then you did!
So Renault,
as promised...
I'm taking
you to hell.
Ah yeah,
that little thing.
Well, I'm certainly fine
when you're having fun.
Are you sure it's been
already 10 lifetimes?
Because I'm only counting
8 or 9 at the most.
Oh well,
c'est la vie.
C'est la guerre.
Touche.
I just want
to let you know...
each one of my lives was
more decadent than the last!
I did the unimaginable
to people!
I know.
I am better than you.
Prove it.
Not with swordsmanship,
but with humility.
No!
You only defend,
attack me!
I will not give you
that satisfaction.
I have waited 700
years for this moment.
Now you pick up your sword
and you fight me.
What are you doing?
Fight me like a man.
Put it in your hand now!
Fighting you will
not make me a man.
Pick it up. Put it in
your hand and fight me!
Why won't you fight me?
Because...
Because you're a coward.
No.
Because I love you.
Remember as children, how
we played together everyday?
And how our
mother loved us?
And how she made
us promise to her
that when the day came
that she would leave us,
that we would watch over each other?
Just like brothers should.
Menas, I would have
died for you then...
and I will now.
If my brother
doesn't love me,
then I have no
wish to live.
Your time is up.
Put it down.
Put the sword down!
Gregoire, time to die.
I always like to keep
up with the times.
Jake!
Ahhh.
Ah!
Back off!
We're going to leave.
If you do anything
to stop me...
I am going to
slit her throat.
You understand?
Back off!
I'm sorry,
Jake, I'm sorry.
I failed you.
It's not your fault.
It's just destiny.
Mine and yours.
Back off.
It's not your time,
little one.
Just shield and fight.
Back off!
Yes, milord.
Ah!
Sword!
Not yours, mine.
This has no weight to it.
It's like a butter knife.
It's built for speed.
Look, I've waited 700
years for this moment.
I'm gonna kill him with
my sword, not yours.
Point taken but... why do you
have to be so mean about it?
How could you
be so sensitive
and be such
a great fighter?
Ah, that is what makes
me a great fighter.
- And chicks dig it.
- Ah.
Now where was I?
- My lord.
- Thank you.
Oh, not you, too.
Well, at least you're
not killing each other.
And now Renault, old friend.
T'is your time to die.
So be it, Gregoire.
Ha.
And now your blood,
shall be mine.
See you around.
Ahh!
Payback's a bitch.
Oh my God,
I think he's in shock!
Jake!
Jake!
Jake?
Excellent performance,
my lord.
Excellent performance.
Bravo.
A little over the top.
But given the circumstance
and no rehearsal...
How else could
you play it?
But tell me,
my lord,
how can you be such
a great leader
when you're so dramatic?
That is what makes me
such a great leader.
And chicks dig it.
Touche.
Wait. You're
not shot?
No, he missed
me by a mile.
And hey, nice
save by the way.
Aren't you guys
forgetting about something?
The six hacked up
mutilated bodies?
Six?
Only a couple
are mine.
Four. Four
were yours.
Four.
I'm impressed.
I say we pin
it on the priest.
Nice. See, I told you.
You're a leader of men.
Don't even think that
I'm not really pissed
at you at you right now.
I just can't have
my new boyfriend
go to jail
on the first night
we start dating.
- Boyfriend?
- Yes.
- Dating?
- Yes.
What are you, nuts?
You're like Koko and stuff.
Come on!
We're soul mates.
Ow! My nipple, ow!
My nipple!
You're nuts.
I like it.
What a strange day it's been, huh?
Kapow.
Lend me
a hand, shopkeep.
Yeah.
Well old friend, see
you in the next lifetime.
Yeah, old friends,
old soul mates.
Yes, we are.