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Oh, God! Book II (1980)
WHAT A MESS.
EVERY TIME I LOOK DOWN THERE, IT GETS WORSE. MAYBE I OUGHT TO STOP LOOKING DOWN. MILLIONS OF PLANETS, AND THAT ONE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A PROBLEM. WHY THAT ONE? I KNOW WHY. PEOPLE. I HAD TO PU PEOPLE ON IT. MAYBE I OUGHT TO GO DOWN THERE AND LOOK AROUND. I GOT TO DO SOMETHING. LET'S SEE, UM... [THUNDER] PLEASE, NOT NOW. I'M THINKING. TRACY. DON'T FORGE TO WEAR YOUR HAT. BYE, MOM. TRACY. MOM, WHO WEARS HATS? YOUNG LADIES DO. AND BESIDES, HATS ARE COMING BACK. OH, MOTHER. WHO KNOWS WHERE HE'LL TAKE YOU? HE'S MY FATHER, AND YOU KNOW WHERE HE'S TAKING ME-- TO A MOVIE AND A CHINESE RESTAURANT. HE ALWAYS DOES. WELL... YOU LOOK TERRIFIC. IN FACT, YOU LOOK FANTASTIC. HAVE A GOOD TIME. HI, SHINGO. THINK FAST. WANT TO PLAY? I CAN'T. I'M GOING WITH MY FATHER. I LIKE TO GO TO THE MOVIES AND EA CHINESE FOOD. I WISH MY PARENTS WOULD SPLIT... BUT JAPANESE PARENTS WOULD NEVER SPLIT. WHY NOT? THEY JUST DON'T. PRETTY GOOD FOR A GIRL. WANT TO TRY AGAIN? DON'T PRESS YOUR LUCK. [HORN HONKS] HEY, HOW'S MY BABY? OK. GOOD. GEE, YOU LOOK NICE. THANK YOU. CAN YOU GET THE DOOR? OK. SO, UH, HOW'S SCHOOL? FINE. FINE. LISTEN, YOU CAN GO ALL OUT TODAY, YOU KNOW? DOUBLE EGG ROLLS, EXTRA FORTUNE COOKIE, WHATEVER YOU WANT. I GOT A NEW SPAGHETTI ACCOUNT. WANT TO HEAR THE SLOGAN I CAME UP WITH? YOU READY? "THE TASTE OF MAMA." THAT'S IT? COME ON, THAT'S ONLY THE SLOGAN. NOW IMAGINE IT-- THERE'S A BIG PO OF REALLY RICH TOMATO SAUCE BUBBLING. SUDDENLY, OUT OF I COME TWO REALLY DELICIOUS-LOOKING STRANDS OF SPAGHETTI, RIGHT? THEN-- PAH TAH T-T-TAH TAH P-T-TAH TAH THEY BREAK INTO THIS WILD DANCE TO A DISCO BEAT. DANCING SPAGHETTI? WELL, MR. TENESTO LIKES IT. THEN I LIKE IT, TOO. YOU'RE NOT ASKING WHAT I BROUGHT YOU? THANKS. THAT'S IT? THANKS? YOU'RE NOT GOING TO OPEN IT? YOU OPEN IT, AND A BIG SNAKE JUMPS OUT, RIGHT? RIGHT. OH, DADDY. YOU AND YOUR TRICKS. YOU'RE ALWAYS TRYING TO PULL SOMETHING ON ME. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU... SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SEE? ATTACK FROM THE HIDDEN PLANET. OH, NO, TRACY. NO ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE TERRIFIC. YOU SAID THAT ABOU THE ONE LAST WEEK. SOME THRILLER. IN ONE SECOND, A PLANT TURNS INTO A PERSON? COME ON, TRACY. BUT THEY EXPLAINED IT. IT WAS BECAUSE THEY CAME FROM ANOTHER PLANET. I MEAN, THEIR SPIRITS DID. I DIDN'T SEE ANY SPIRITS. WHAT SPIRITS? DADDY, YOU CAN' SEE SPIRITS. TRACY, JUST ONCE CAN'T WE GO SEE A NORMAL MOVIE WITH LAURENCE OLIVIER OR... WALTER MATTHAU? BENJI. I'LL EVEN GO SEE A MOVIE ABOUT A CUTE DOG. HUH? JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SEE SPIRITS DOESN'T MEAN THEY'RE NOT THERE. IT'S KIND OF LIKE BELIEVING IN GOD. SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE IN THINGS YOU CAN'T SEE. OK. I GOT TO CALL JOAN. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. YOU STILL GOING WITH HER? YEAH. SHE ISN'T AS PRETTY AS MOM. WELL, SHE HAS OTHER QUALITIES I FIND ATTRACTIVE. HER BIG BOOBS? GIVE ME A BREAK, WILL YOU? MOM SAYS SHE HAS BIG BOOBS. I WONDER WHAT KIND OF BOOBS I'LL HAVE? I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. I'LL HAVE THE BUTTERFLY SHRIMP. THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S A PARTY OF THREE AT 7:00. OK, MR. JONES. COME IN, TRACY. IT'S ALL RIGHT. COME IN. TRACY, I'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU. WHERE ARE YOU? I CAN'T SEE YOU. BUT YOU CAN HEAR ME, TRACY. DAD? I'VE BEEN CALLED "OUR FATHER," BUT NEVER DAD. AW, COME ON, DAD. ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR TRICK VOICES? YOU CAN'T FOOL ME. WHERE ARE YOU? TRACY, I'M GOD. YOURS TRULY FROM THE FORTUNE COOKIE. OK, SO YOU'RE GOD. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? TRACY, I REALLY AM GOD. I'D LIKE TO KNOW YOU A LITTLE BETTER. THAT WOULD BE NICE, BUT FIRST MAKE UP WITH MOM. WHY DON'T WE MEE IN FRONT OF THE STORE MONDAY? OH, YEAH. THA WOULD BE GREAT. TRACY, IF I'M YOUR FATHER, WOULDN'T THOSE GIRLS HEAR ME TALKING? DID YOU JUST HEAR THAT MAN'S VOICE? WHAT VOICE, HONEY? WHERE? TRACY, THEY CAN'T HEAR ME. THERE. DID YOU HEAR IT? NO. BUT--BU IF YOU WERE GOD, WHY WOULD YOU BOTHER WITH ME? TRACY, IT WAS SOMETHING YOU SAID THAT SORT OF INTERESTED ME-- THAT SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE IN THINGS YOU CAN'T SEE. WOW! HOW'D YOU KNOW I SAID THAT? I KNOW, I SEE, I HEAR. THIS PLACE IS TOO BUSY. I'LL SEE YOU LATER. WAIT! DON'T GO YET. WHERE LATER? HOW? TRACY. HUH? OH, HI, MRS. MANLEY. WHO WERE YOU TALKING TO? I DON'T KNOW. I'M NOT SURE. ARE YOU STILL THERE? HE'S GONE. YOU OK? YEAH. YOU'VE BEEN AWFUL QUIE SINCE WE LEF THE RESTAURANT. I'M FINE. I'VE JUS BEEN THINKING. THINKING? ABOUT WHAT? HAVE YOU EVER FELT LIKE YOU MIGHT BE DREAMING EVEN THOUGH YOU KNEW YOU WERE AWAKE? WOULD YOU LIKE TO RUN THAT BY ME AGAIN? LIKE SOMETHING HAPPENED, BUT IT'S MORE LIKE A DREAM THAN REAL. DAYDREAMING. YEAH, SURE. HAPPENS TO EVERYBODY. IT'S OK. I GOT TO STOP BY THE OFFICE FOR SOMETHING. WAIT FOR ME IN THE CAR? OK. ALL RIGHT? TRACY, IT'S ME AGAIN. WHAT? WHAT? THAT WASN' A DREAM YOU HAD. IT WAS REAL. WHERE ARE YOU? IN THE BACK SEAT. WELL? DISAPPOINTED? OH, GOSH, NO... GOD, SIR. WHY--WHY WOULD I BE DISAPPOINTED, SIR? ARE YOU REALLY GOD, SIR? FORGET THE SIR. JUST PLAIN GOD. THE OWNER OF THE STORE. ALSO KNOWN AS THE MAN UPSTAIRS. I DON'T KNOW. SOMEHOW I THOUGH YOU'D LOOK HOLIER... AND MORE FANCY, SORT OF. I MEAN, LIKE WITH A CROWN AND A LONG BEARD AND A FLOWING WHITE ROBE. YOU'RE THINKING OF CHARLTON HESTON. I CAN'T GET OVER IT. IT'S JUST THAT-- THAT I GUESS I EXPECTED YOU TO LOOK MUCH OLDER. THANKS, TRACY. I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. HOW OLD ARE YOU? WHO KNOWS? AFTER THE FIRS 2 MILLION YEARS, I STOPPED COUNTING. IT'S AWKWARD TALKING LIKE THIS. WOW! HOW'D YOU DO THAT? IF I COULD PAR THE RED SEA, I CAN CERTAINLY MOVE TO THE FRON OF A CAR. IT'S REFRESHING TALKING TO A YOUNG LADY LIKE YOU. TAKES MY MIND OFF SOME OF MY PROBLEMS. YOU HAVE PROBLEMS? YEAH. I'M NOT ALWAYS ON CLOUD NINE. THEY'RE STILL NO GETTING MY MESSAGE. I'M JUST NOT IN PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS. THEY DON' BELIEVE IN ME LIKE THEY SHOULD. I DO, AND I'M NO SAYING THAT JUS BECAUSE YOU'RE HERE. I KNOW, BU THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO THINK OF ME ONLY A COUPLE OF TIMES A YEAR. THEN OTHERS DON' THINK OF ME AT ALL UNTIL THA VERY LAST MINUTE-- AND THEN, BOY, DO I HEAR FROM THEM. PEOPLE HAVE TO BE REMINDED THA I'M STILL AROUND. THEN COME UP WITH ONE OF YOUR BIG MIRACLES. THAT WOULD REALLY SHAKE THEM UP. AH. PEOPLE REMEMBER THE MIRACLE AND FORGE WHY I DID IT. I'VE GOT IT. MY DAD'S IN THAT BUSINESS. YOU SHOULD ADVERTISE. TELEVISION, RADIO, BILLBOARDS, NEWSPAPERS. GET A SLOGAN. A SLOGAN? TRACY, I'M NOT A TUBE OF TOOTHPASTE. SLOGANS REALLY WORK. YOU'LL BECOME A HOUSEHOLD WORD. HOUSEHOLD WORD. YEAH. THAT WOULD BE NICE FOR A CHANGE. ALL RIGHT, TRACY. YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A JOB. YOU THINK OF A SLOGAN, AND I'LL SPREAD I AROUND. I'LL ASK MY DAD. HE'S GREAT. NO. I HAVEN' BEEN DOING TOO WELL WITH GROWNUPS LATELY. I'D RATHER IT CAME FROM YOU. ME? I'M THE WORLD'S WORST WRITER, AND MY SPELLING IS THE PITS. I DON'T TAKE OFF FOR SPELLING. SEE, IF IT COMES FROM YOU, IT'LL BE SOMETHING THAT YOUR FRIENDS CAN UNDERSTAND. THAT WAY, I'LL HAVE THE CHILDREN ON MY SIDE. AND WHEN THEY GROW UP, I'LL HAVE THEIR CHILDREN. ONCE YOU'VE GO THE CHILDREN, THAT'S THE BALL GAME. THEN I'LL BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF A FEW THINGS-- LIKE ALL THA POLLUTION. AND HAVE YOU NOTICED YOU'RE RUNNING OU OF EAGLES? AND THERE ARE A FEW VOLCANOES THA NEED COOLING OFF. WHAT DO YOU SAY, TRACY? WILL YOU COME UP WITH A SLOGAN? OK. I'LL SURE TRY. GOOD. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME. NOBODY ELSE WILL, EITHER. YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SEE OR HEAR ME. TELL THEM ABOU OUR VISITS, THEY'LL THINK YOU'RE, UM... BONKERS? DEFINITELY. THEY GAVE SOME OF MY BEST PEOPLE A PRETTY BAD TIME. HERE COMES YOUR FATHER. HERE YOU GO. SORRY I TOOK SO LONG. OK. READY FOR YOUR MOVIE? YEP. THREE LASER FIGHTS, A COLLISION OF PLANETS? YOU DON'T EVEN WATCH. HALFWAY THROUGH THE MOVIE, YOU WANT TO GO HOME. YOU OK? SORRY, DADDY. YOU DON' HAVE TO BE SORRY. DADDY? HMM? LET'S SAY YOU HAVE A BIG NEW CLIEN AND YOU NEED A REAL SUPER SLOGAN. WHERE DO YOU START? WELL, UH... FIRST YOU EXAMINE THE PRODUCT. YOU TRY TO PICK OU THE SINGLE MOS IMPORTANT THING ABOUT IT-- THE THING THAT'LL MAKE IT SELL-- LIKE, UM...WELL, TAKE POTATO CHIPS, FOR EXAMPLE. NO. SOMETHING BIGGER. MORE IMPORTANT. IT DOESN' REALLY MATTER. A PRODUCT'S A PRODUCT. THE PRINCIPLE IS THE SAME. WELL, LET'S SAY YOU'RE SELLING A PERSON... OK. A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON, LIKE, UH... WELL, LET'S SAY... GOD. GOD. I DON'T THINK I'D HANDLE THAT ACCOUNT. ONE MISTAKE AND YOU'RE IN TROUBLE THERE. DON'T TRY AND GE OUT OF IT, DADDY. HOW WOULD YOU SELL GOD? OK. GOD. GOD. WELL... FIRST I'D, UH, MAKE A LIST OF HIS GOOD QUALITIES-- YOU KNOW, HIS MOS SALABLE FEATURES-- THEN I'D COME UP WITH A NICE LOW-KEY SLOGAN. THEN I'D MEET HIM FOR LUNCH AND PITCH IT TO HIM. AND THEN? IF HE LIKES IT, I'LL PICK UP THE TAB. IF NOT, I'LL LET HIM PICK IT UP. WHAT'S ALL THIS STUFF ABOUT GOD? SOME SCHOOL PROJECT, OR-- SORT OF. IT'S AN ASSIGNMEN I JUST GOT. OH, I SEE. BEFORE I DROP YOU OFF, I WANT TO PICK UP JOAN. THAT OK? OK. THERE SHE IS. [HONK HONK] YEP, THERE THEY ARE. WOULD YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT HER-- BIG BOOBS? OH, COME ON. YOU LIKE KNOCKERS BETTER? COULD WE JUST DROP THEM-- UH, DROP IT? HI. HOW ARE YOU? MMM. YOU TELL ME. MMM. HI, STACY. TRACY. OH, UH, OF COURSE. UH, OH, WHAT'S THAT? IT'S A PRESEN MY DAD GOT ME. OPEN IT. UM...I-- AAH! CUTE. THANK YOU. HI, MOM. HI. HOW WAS THE MOVIE? DUMB. AW. HOW WAS THE EGG ROLL? GOOD. AND HIS GIRLFRIEND? BIG. HMM. CALLED ME STACY AGAIN. OH. WELL, YOUR FATHER'S NOT EXACTLY INTERESTED IN HER BRAIN. MOM? HUH? SOMETHING'S ON MY MIND-- HOW CAN HE THINK SHE'S ONLY 28? THAT MAN IS SO GULLIBLE. MOM, I'D LIKE TO ASK YOU A QUES-- DID HE MENTION WHERE HE WAS TAKING HER? WHAT WAS SHE WEARING? MOM, SHE'S YUCKY. SHE'S WAY OVER 28, AND YOU'RE 10 TIMES PRETTIER. OH...YOU... ARE A BRILLIANT CHILD. MOM? WE KNOW THAT GOD HAS A LOT OF WONDERFUL QUALITIES, BUT WHAT WOULD YOU SAY ARE SOME OF HIS STRONGEST POINTS? TRACY, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? GOD. [HORN HONKS] WE'LL TALK LATER. THAT'S THE GELMANS. I'M SHOWING THEM A HOUSE, AND THEY'RE TAKING ME OUT TO DINNER. GO TO BED WHEN ROSA SAYS. NO TROUBLE, OK? CAN I STAY UP A LITTLE LATE? NO SCHOOL TOMORROW. ALL RIGHT. DON'T WATCH ANY HORROR FILMS, OK? AAH! HIDE! HE'LL SEE YOU! OH! ELSA! ROSA, YOU'RE MISSING THE BEST PART. I LIKE IT BETTER THIS WAY. ROSA...DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD? OF COURSE I DO. EVER SEE HIM? NO, BUT I TALK TO HIM. YOU TALK TO GOD? ALL THE TIME. DID YOU TALK TO HIM TODAY? YOU DID? THIS MORNING WHEN I PRAY. AND DID GOD TALK TO YOU? NO, HE NEVER TALKS TO ME. MAYBE HE DOESN' UNDERSTAND SPANISH SO GOOD. ROSA... YES? WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF I TOLD YOU... THAT I SAW GOD TODAY AND WE TALKED TO EACH OTHER? YOU BETTER GO TO BED. YOU'RE GETTING LOCA FROM THESE CRAZY MOVIES. YOU SAW GOD IN YOUR DAD'S CAR? THAT'S RIGHT. YOU TALKED TO HIM IN A RESTAURANT? RIGHT. DID YOU GE HIS AUTOGRAPH? YOU'RE PUTTING ME ON. NO, YOU'RE PUTTING ME ON. SHINGO, I REALLY SAW GOD. OK, OK. WHAT DID GOD SAY? HE SAID IF HE COULD GET KIDS TO SPREAD HIS MESSAGE, THEN HE COULD DO OTHER THINGS, LIKE COOL OFF A VOLCANO AND STUFF. YOU TWO HAD SOME RAP SESSION. HE WANTED ME TO COME UP WITH A SLOGAN. SLOGAN? LIKE THEY HAVE IN TV COMMERCIALS. OH. WHAT ELSE DID HE SAY? HE SAID SPELLING DIDN'T COUNT. I DON'T BELIEVE A WORD OF WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. SPELLING ALWAYS COUNTS. WHY DO I WASTE TIME TALKING TO YOU? MAYBE SHE DID SEE GOD. HAROLD. CAN YOU GIVE ME A SE CONTAINING FIVE PRIME NUMBERS? 2, 3, 5, 7, AND 11. THAT'S VERY GOOD, HAROLD. MISS HUDSON. MISS HUDSON. LISA. WHEW. CAN YOU TELL ME THE PROPERTIES OF A SET? IT'S A SERIES OF WHOLE NUMBERS. THAT'S RIGHT. THANK YOU. MISS HUDSON. MISS HUDSON. MISS HUDSON. I KNOW. MISS-- TRACY. AWW. CAN YOU TELL ME THE PROPERTIES OF A SUBSET? I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU AFTER CLASS IS OVER. YOU'VE BEEN VERY INATTENTIVE IN CLASS, AND YOU HAVEN' TURNED IN YOUR HOMEWORK ALL WEEK. I'M SORRY, MISS HUDSON. IS THERE ANYTHING THE MATTER AT HOME, SOMETHING I SHOULD KNOW? YOU SURE? WELL, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING WITH YOUR TIME? I JUST CAN' EXPLAIN IT. I'M SENDING A NOTE HOME TO YOUR PARENTS. MAYBE YOU CAN EXPLAIN IT TO THEM. GIRLS, I BOUGHT A LO OF UNDERWEAR FOR MY MEN, AND EVERY YEAR I PICK FRUIT OF THE LOOM. SURPRISE, EMMA! HIYA, CUTIES. EVERY MAN OUGHT TO BUY FRUIT OF THE LOOM BRIEFS. SO I CARRY THE AMERICAN EXPRESS CARD. I ORDERED STEAK. I DON'T WANT A MOVIE. BUT I WANTED STEAK. I DON'T THINK HE WANTS THE MOVIE. AT PSA WE NEVER LOST SIGHT OF WHA AN AIRLINE SHOULD BE. SO, AT PSA, WE GIVE YOU MORE PLANES AND LESS FANCIES. WE GIVE YOU LOW FARES, NOT FANFARES. YOU STILL WATCHING TELEVISION? YEAH. IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT. YOU SHOULD BE IN BED. IT'S ALMOST 11:30. I WANT TO SEE THE JOHNNY CARSON SHOW. ALL RIGHT. WOULD YOU LIKE SOME COCOA? YEAH, GREAT. BUT AFTER COCOA, YOU GO TO BED, EH? [THE TONIGHT SHOW THEME PLAYS] FROM HOLLYWOOD... THE TONIGHT SHOW, STARRING JOHNNY CARSON. THIS IS ED McMAHON ALONG WITH TOMMY NEWSOME INVITING YOU TO JOIN JOHNNY AND HIS GUESTS-- BOB HOPE, ANGIE DICKINSON, MELISSA MANCHESTER, AND OLYMPICS EXPER BUD GREENSPAN. AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE'S... JOHNNY! [AUDIENCE APPLAUDS] GOD? ON THE JOHNNY CARSON SHOW? WHY NOT? HE GETS EVERYBODY ELSE TO REPLACE HIM. I CAN' BELIEVE IT. DON'T WORRY, TRACY. ONLY YOU CAN SEE ME. EVERYBODY ELSE IS WATCHING JOHNNY CARSON. WOW. YOU REALLY GET AROUND. WHEN YOU GO A TERRITORY AS BIG AS MINE, YOU CAN'T DOG IT. WELL, HAVE YOU GOT A SLOGAN FOR ME? YEAH, I GOT A FEW. GOOD. LET'S HEAR THEM. OK, HERE WE GO. "HOW DO YOU SPELL RELIEF? G-O-D." THAT'S NICE. IT'S--IT'S REAL NICE, BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S FOR ME. HOW ABOUT THIS-- "GOD IS BULLISH ON HUMANITY." THAT'S NICE, TOO. YOU GOT ANY MORE? OH, SURE. THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE. "YOU'RE IN GOOD HANDS WITH GOD." THAT'S GOOD, BUT THEN AGAIN, TRACY, THAT'S ALWAYS BEEN GOOD. I THOUGHT YOU'D GO FOR THAT ONE. HOW ABOUT, "LET GOD PUT YOU--" IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT? YEAH. LOOK, I WORKED HARD ON THESE. I'M SURE YOU DID, BUT, TRACY, I DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK I'M BRAGGING, BUT LET'S FACE IT, I'M AN ORIGINAL, THE ONE AND ONLY. I MADE MY OWN MOLD AND THREW IT AWAY. YOU KNOW, THIS ISN' EXACTLY EASY. I DIDN'T SAY IT WOULD BE. ONE MORE WEEK. JUST A WEEK? THAT'S LONG ENOUGH. LOOK WHAT I ACCOMPLISHED IN A WEEK, AND WITHOUT COMPUTERS. YOU DIDN'T HAVE A MATH TEST COMING UP. ONE WEEK. I SAY IF YOU DON' SET DEADLINES, NOTHING HAPPENS. CAN I ASK MY DAD FOR HELP? IN MATH, SURE. WHAT ABOUT SHINGO? CAN HE HELP ME? YOUR LITTLE FRIEND? YEAH, SHINGO CAN HELP. WE'LL DO THE BEST WE CAN. WE'LL REALLY TRY. I DON'T SEE WHY YOU HAVE TO HAVE IT SO FAST. TRACY? WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO? NOTHING. UM, NOBODY. YOU WERE JUS TALKING TO SOMEONE. THAT? OH, I WAS TALKING BACK TO THE TELEVISION. THE SET ISN'T EVEN ON. I TURNED IT OFF. IT WAS SOME DUMB COMMERCIAL. THEY'RE ALWAYS TRYING TO SELL YOU SOMETHING. HOW ABOUT, "YOU CAN BE SURE IF IT'S GOD"? NO, IT HAS TO BE ORIGINAL. WE'VE BEEN AT I FOR HOURS. LET'S GO HOME. I'M STARVED. WAIT! I THINK I'M ON TO SOMETHING. I LIKE IT. LET'S GO. I DIDN'T SAY IT YET. HOW ABOUT, "BUY GOD. B-U-Y"? GREAT. LET'S GO. NAH, IT'S TOO COMMERCIAL. HE WOULDN'T LIKE THAT. YOU KNOW HIM BETTER THAN I DO. HOW ABOUT, "TRY GOD"? GREAT. "GOOD GOD." THAT'S EVEN GREATER. "GREAT GOD." PERFECT! NO, IT JUST MISSES. HOW COME EVERYTHING JUST MISSES? I DON'T KNOW. IT'S JUST A GUT FEELING. THAT'S AN ADVERTISING EXPRESSION. I'VE GO A GUT FEELING, TOO. I'M HUNGRY. WE'LL THINK GOD TOMORROW. WHAT DID YOU SAY? I SAID WE'LL THINK GOD TOMORROW. THAT'S IT! WHAT'S IT? THINK GOD! THINK GOD! THAT'S A TERRIFIC SLOGAN! OH, SHINGO, YOU SAVED THE DAY. "THINK GOD." HE'LL LOVE IT. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. WHO IS SHE TALKING TO? THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT KID. IT'S THE SECOND TIME I'VE SEEN HER DO THAT. HARRIET, LOOK AT THE WAY SHE'S CARRYING ON. POOR TRACY. POOR PAULA. I WOULDN'T WAN TO BE HER MOTHER. THINK GOD. HMM. YEAH. THINK GOD. VERY INTERESTING. IT'S GOT A MESSAGE, IT'S SHORT, AND TELLS IT ALL. TRACY, I REALLY LIKE IT. THANK GOD. THAT'S GOOD, TOO, BUT LET'S GO WITH "THINK GOD." SHINGO CAME UP WITH THAT ONE. I HAD A HUNCH HE WOULD. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SPREAD THE SLOGAN AROUND? YOU'VE DONE SUCH A GOOD JOB, I'M GOING TO HAVE YOU DO IT. ME? I WOULDN'T KNOW WHERE TO START. WHY NOT STAR WITH YOUR FRIENDS? BUT A WHOLE BIG ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN? HOW WOULD I DO THAT? YOU'LL FIND A WAY. THIS ISN'T FAIR. WHY DON'T YOU PICK ON SOMEBODY WHO ISN'T BEHIND IN HER HOMEWORK? I'VE PICKED ON SOME GOOD PEOPLE. YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY TO BE IN THEIR COMPANY. WELL, OK. YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY EASY TO TURN DOWN. SO THAT'S WHA WE'VE GOT TO DO-- WRITE "THINK GOD" ALL OVER THE PLACE. ON WALLS, ON SIDEWALKS, WE'VE GOT TO STICK SIGNS ON TREES, CAR BUMPERS, TELEPHONE POLES, EVERYWHERE. WE WANT IT ALL OVER. "THINK GOD." YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK? WHAT? I THINK YOU'RE A LOONY. [LAUGHTER] IF I'M GOING TO WRITE ON WALLS, I'M NOT WRITING "THINK GOD." THE THINGS YOU WRITE ON WALLS WOULD FOG UP YOUR GLASSES. COME ON, YOU GUYS. LET TRACY TALK. LISTEN. THIS IS A GOOD IDEA. WE ALL TAKE GOD TOO MUCH FOR GRANTED. WE SHOULD REMIND PEOPLE TO THINK ABOUT HIM. IF NOT FOR HIM, WE WOULDN'T BE HERE. THAT WILL SHAKE UP MY PARENTS. HA HA HA! HA HA HA! I THINK TRACY'S GO A NEAT IDEA. LET'S DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR A CHANGE. LET'S VOTE. ALL IN FAVOR, RAISE YOUR HANDS. YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! WHAT IS THIS? WHAT ARE WE, RELIGIOUS FREAKS? NEXT YOU'LL HAVE US SHAVING OUR HEADS. I'VE HEARD SOME DUMB IDEAS, I'VE HEARD SOME CRAZY IDEAS, BUT THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE, AND IT SHOULD TAKE THE CAKE BECAUSE IT'S THE GREATES IDEA I EVER HEARD. LET'S GET TOGETHER AND PUT THIS THING OVER. LET'S GO! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! WHAT MADE ME SAY THAT? HEY! HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? GO ON, GO ON. GET OUT OF HERE. THERE. NOW, THAT LOOKS BETTER. TRACY? YES? TRACY, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU. CAN'T IT WAIT? I'M AWFUL HUNGRY. I WANT TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW. GOT THE NOTE FROM MISS HUDSON, HUH? SIT DOWN. YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT A THING. I'LL CATCH UP ON MY HOMEWORK. TRACY, SIT DOWN. WHEN IS DINNER? PARK IT. TRACY... HARRIET STOPPED BY THE OFFICE TODAY, AND SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE SAW YOU TALKING TO YOURSELF AT THE RED DRAGON, THAT YOU WERE DOING THE SAME THING AT McDONALD'S. WHAT'S GOING ON? I WASN'T TALKING TO MYSELF. WHO WERE YOU TALKING TO? WAS IT THE SAME PERSON YOU WERE TALKING TO THE OTHER NIGHT? TRACY? YOU WON'T BELIEVE ME. I WILL. GOD. WHAT'S GOD GOT TO DO WITH IT? HE'S THE ONE I'VE BEEN TALKING TO. OH, GOD. OH, GOD. YOU MEAN YOU'VE BEEN PRAYING TO GOD, SORT OF OUT LOUD? NO. HE TALKS TO ME, AND I TALK TO HIM. YOU MEAN, YOU ACTUALLY HEARD HIM? SURE, I HEARD HIM. HE WAS IN THE DEN. YOU MEAN YOU SAW HIM, TOO? UH-HUH. OH, TRACY. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. YOU'RE IMAGINING THINGS, HONEY. PEOPLE JUST DON' SEE AND CHAT WITH GOD. MOM, I SAW HIM, LOTS OF TIMES. I KNEW YOU WOULDN' BELIEVE ME. SHINGO, THAT'S GREAT, BUT I CAN'T TALK. I'M TRYING TO DO MY HOMEWORK. HOMEWORK? WHO'S DOING HOMEWORK? WE'RE PRINTING, PAINTING, AND POSTING. MY COUSINS ARE DOING I AT THEIR SCHOOL. IT'S SPREADING. THAT'S GREAT. THAT'S JUS FANTASTIC. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. YOU CAN TAKE OVER. YOU STARTED IT! I KNOW, BUT YOU CAN FINISH IT. GOODBYE, SHINGO. WAIT. TRACY, I-- OH, HI. TRACY, YOU CAN'T QUIT. I JUST DID. YOU'RE OFF TO A GREAT START. YOU'RE DOING A SUPER JOB FOR A GREAT CAUSE. AND GETTING INTO SUPER TROUBLE. WELCOME TO THE CLUB. THERE ARE SOME HEAVY HITTERS IN THAT LINEUP. SOCRATES, MARTIN LUTHER KING, MAHATMA GANDHI, ABE LINCOLN. I'M JUST A KID. I TOLD MY MOM, AND NOW SHE THINKS I'M BANANAS. IT NEVER FAILS. SHE'S REALLY UPTIGH ABOUT IT. BANANAS. I HATE THAT EXPRESSION. I MAKE A BEAUTIFUL FRUIT, AND PEOPLE USE I FOR CRAZY. MY TEACHER'S ON MY BACK, TOO. I'VE BEEN SO BUSY, I HAVEN'T DONE ANY HOMEWORK. LET ME SEE WHAT YOU GOT. ABOUT A ZILLION PROBLEMS TO MAKE UP, THAT'S ALL. LET ME SEE. MAYBE I CAN HELP YOU. MATHEMATICS. THAT WAS A MISTAKE. I SHOULD HAVE MADE THE WHOLE THING EASIER. YOU MAKE MISTAKES? NOBODY'S PERFECT. I BLEW I WITH THE DEAD SEA. ALL THAT SAL AND NO LIFE IN IT. AND THE FLAMINGO-- BEAUTIFUL BIRD, AND I PUT THE KNEECAPS ON BACKWARDS. AND I COULD HAVE FOUND A BETTER WAY FOR A SKUNK TO DEFEND HIMSELF. AND YOU SURE GOOFED WITH THE GIRAFFE. GIRAFFE? WHY'D YOU MAKE THE NECK SO LONG? SO HE COULD EAT THE LEAVES OFF THE TREES. WHY DIDN'T YOU MAKE THE TREES SHORTER? WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU? I DON'T BELIEVE IT. THIS IS INCREDIBLE. I KNOW, IT'S AWFUL. A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, SHE WAS ACTING A LITTLE STRANGELY. YES. SHE WAS ASKING ME SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT GOD AND HOW I'D HANDLE AN ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN FOR HIM. I DIDN'T THINK ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENS. DO YOU SUPPOSE SHE'S MAKING IT UP, YOU KNOW, AS A PLAY FOR ATTENTION? OH, COME ON, DON. IF TRACY'S ONE THING, SHE'S TRUTHFUL. I DON'T THINK SHE'S EVER TOLD A LIE. I'M SORRY I WAS SO CRABBY. I UNDERSTAND. HERE'S YOUR HOMEWORK. WOW. THANKS. GOD. YEAH? WHO DO YOU PRAY TO? ME? WELL, SOMETIMES I TALK TO MYSELF. IT MUST BE REAL LONESOME UP THERE. WELL, WHEN I SNEEZE, THERE'S NO ONE AROUND TO BLESS ME. TRACY! UH-OH, NOW IT'S MY DAD. I'VE GOT TO GO. AND BLESS YOU, GOD. THAT'S FOR YOUR NEXT SNEEZE. MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE MADE THE TREES A LITTLE SHORTER. HI, DADDY. HI, SWEETHEART. HOW'S MY BABY? OK. SO, UH... MOM TOLD YOU, HUH? LOOK, UM... SWEETHEART... YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES PEOPLE IMAGINE THINGS, UH... KIDS IN PARTICULAR. I DIDN'T IMAGINE IT. IT SEEMS SO REAL. IT REALLY SEEMS LIKE IT HAPPENED. I TALKED TO HIM. HE TALKED TO ME. YOUR IMAGINATION JUST RUNS RIGH AWAY FROM YOU. DADDY, I KNOW IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE. IT'S HARD FOR ME TO BELIEVE, BUT IT HAPPENED. IT HAPPENED? UH... LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. YOU'RE SAYING YOU ACTUALLY SAW GOD, I MEAN, AS A REAL PERSON? LOTS OF TIMES. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW HIM? HE JUST HELPED ME WITH MY MATH. OH, MY GOD. GOD WAS UPSTAIRS HELPING YOU WITH YOUR HOMEWORK? YEAH. HERE IT IS. UM... WELL, THIS MULTIPLICATION IS VERY GOOD, BUT, TRACY, SWEETHEART, THESE ARE YOUR NUMBERS. THAT'S YOUR WRITING. THAT WAS EASY FOR HIM TO DO. YEAH, I SUPPOSE IT WOULD BE. UM... RIGHT. WELL, UM... OK. WE'LL TALK ABOUT THIS LATER, ALL RIGHT? WHY DON'T YOU, UM... WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK UPSTAIRS AND FINISH YOUR... YOUR STUDYING, OK? BUT YOU BOTH THINK I'M BANANAS. OH, I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT. HE HATES THAT EXPRESSION. WHAT THE HELL HAS BEEN GOING ON HERE SINCE I LEFT? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? IF YOU SPENT LESS TIME PEDDLING THOSE OVERPRICED HOUSES, THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED. I'VE NEVER NEGLECTED THAT CHILD, AND YOU KNOW IT. I'M NOT THE ONE WHO MOVED OUT. YOU ARE. LET'S NO GET INTO THAT. THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM. I'LL TAKE HER TO A CHILD PSYCHIATRIST. NO! NO WAY. NEVER. PAULA, SHE NEEDS HELP. LOOK. YOU TAKE CARE OF BOOBS, AND I WILL TAKE CARE OF TRACY. WE'RE NOT HERE TO ARGUE. SHE'S IN TROUBLE. WHAT ABOUT A MINISTER? HE COULD AT LEAST-- LOOK. WHY DO WE HAVE TO TAKE HER TO ANYBODY? I MEAN... MAYBE IT'S NOT ALL THAT BAD, YOU KNOW? SHE'S OURS. CAN'T WE... CAN'T WE JUS WORK IT OUT OURSELVES? OK. GIVE I A COUPLE OF DAYS. MAYBE SHE'LL JUS SNAP OUT OF IT. I'LL CALL YOU. GOD HELPED HER WITH HER HOMEWORK. TERRIFIC. JUST TERRIFIC. [BELL RINGS] WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON AROUND HERE? EVERYWHERE I LOOK, "THINK GOD." WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS? OH, IT'S TRACY RICHARDS. WHO'S TRACY RICHARDS? WHAT GRADE IS SHE IN? SHE'S IN MISS HUDSON'S CLASS. GET HER IN HERE AND MISS HUDSON, TOO. I'LL GE TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS. ARE WE RUNNING A SCHOOL OR A MONASTERY? UH, NOW, MR. AND MRS. RICHARDS, SINCE THIS IS A BEHAVIOR PROBLEM, I'VE ASKED DR. YOUNG, OUR SCHOOL PSYCHOLOGIST, TO, UH...SIT IN. SHE'S A LITTLE BEHIND IN HER HOMEWORK, BUT-- OH, IT'S WAY BEYOND THAT, MRS. RICHARDS. HAVE YOU SEEN ALL THOSE "THINK GOD" SIGNS AROUND? WELL, TRACY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE WHOLE THING. SHE HELD A MEETING, GOT KIDS WORKED UP. NOW THEY'RE ALL RUNNING AROUND WRITING, TACKING UP SIGNS. WHAT, EXACTLY, IS SO AWFUL ABOUT WRITING "THINK GOD"? I MEAN-- YEAH, I MEAN, IF KIDS ARE GOING TO WRITE ON WALLS, THEY MIGHT AS WELL WRITE SOMETHING NICE. I AGREE, BUT THE POINT IS, RELIGION IN THE SCHOOLS IS A VERY SENSITIVE AREA. IT IS NOT ALLOWED. SHE'S GOT THE WHOLE PLACE IN AN UPROAR. SHE'S DISRUPTED THE ENTIRE SCHOOL. SHE'S NEVER BEEN A TROUBLEMAKER. SHE'S CERTAINLY MAKING UP FOR IT THIS TIME. I HAD A TALK WITH HER. I TOLD HER TO CUT ALL THIS OUT. SHE SAID SHE COULDN'T. SHE COULDN'T? THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE. WOULD YOU BRING IN TRACY, PLEASE? IF YOU CAN'T GET HER TO COOPERATE, I'LL SIMPLY HAVE TO SUSPEND HER FROM SCHOOL. I'M SORRY. TRACY, WOULD YOU SIT DOWN, PLEASE? YOUR PARENTS WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO YOU. TRACY... YOU REALLY HAVE TO COOPERATE. I MEAN, MR. BENSON IS RIGHT. YOU'VE DISRUPTED THE ENTIRE SCHOOL. WELL, UNLESS THIS THING STOPS, THEY'RE GOING TO SUSPEND YOU. YOU DON'T WAN THAT TO HAPPEN, DO YOU, SWEETHEART? OK, MOM. I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. I'LL TELL THE KIDS TO CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF. WELL, NOW, THAT'S ALL WE ASK. ALL RIGHT, TRACY. YOU CAN GO BACK TO CLASS NOW. THANK YOU, MR. BENSON. BYE, MOMMY. GOODBYE, SWEETHEART. SEE YOU SATURDAY, DADDY. BYE, BABY. BUT BEFORE I TELL THE KIDS TO STOP, I HAVE TO ASK HIM. ASK WHO? ASK WHO, TRACY? GOD. OH, GOD. HE'S THE ONE WHO TOLD YOU TO DO THIS? YEAH. IT WAS PAR HIS IDEA AND PART MINE. OH. WHEN YOU TALKED TO HIM, DID HE TALK TO YOU, TOO? YES. HE TALKED TO ME FIRST. I SEE. WE TALKED QUITE A FEW TIMES. WHEN WAS THE FIRST TIME? THE FIRST TIME I TALKED TO HIM OR SAW HIM? YOU SAW HIM? SURE. WHAT DID HE LOOK LIKE? WELL, HE WEARS GLASSES, AND HE'S GOT GRAY HAIR, AND HE'S A VERY NICE-LOOKING MAN. I'M SURE. HOW DID YOU FIRST MEET HIM? IN A CHINESE RESTAURANT. HE SENT ME A MESSAGE IN A FORTUNE COOKIE. UH... TRACY, WOULD YOU, UH... WAIT OU IN THE HALL, PLEASE? YOUR CHILD NEEDS HELP. SHE IS OUT OF TOUCH WITH REALITY. NOW, WAIT A MINUTE. I HAVE MY RESPONSIBILITY. I'M SORRY TO TELL YOU THIS, MR. AND MRS. RICHARDS, BUT, AS OF NOW, TRACY IS SUSPENDED FROM SCHOOL. FOR HOW LONG? UNTIL SHE'S WELL. HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, SUSPENDING TRACY? SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. IF THEY'RE GOING TO THROW HER OUT, WHY DON'T THEY THROW US OUT? WE'VE ALL BEEN WRITING "THINK GOD." WHAT WILL WE DO? WE WON'T TAKE I LYING DOWN. WE'LL FIGHT BACK. AND ANOTHER THING, EVERYBODY IS TRYING TO HELP ME. I DON'T NEED HELP. I FEEL FINE. I'M PERFECTLY NORMAL. YOU OUGHT TO BE PROUD OF ME. NOT EVERYBODY GETS PICKED BY GOD. I'M IN A PRETTY GOOD CLUB-- SOCRATES, ABE LINCOLN, AND PEOPLE LIKE THAT. MR. AND MRS. RICHARDS, THE DOCTOR WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU FIRST. WE'LL BE BACK IN A MINUTE, BABY. HIYA, TRACY. OH, HELLO. I WAS WONDERING WHEN YOU WERE GOING TO SHOW UP. EXPELLED FROM SCHOOL, AND NOW YOU'RE A LITTLE UPSET ABOUT THIS? NO. I'M FINE. I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE A LITTLE UPSET. I KNOW YOU'VE GO A LOT TO DO, BUT YOU WOULDN'T FORGE ABOUT ME, WOULD YOU? WELL, YOU ARE A LITTLE WORRIED, AREN'T YOU? I GUESS I AM. LET ME... LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE STORY. THERE WAS THIS TIGER IN THE JUNGLE, AND HE GOT A THORN IN HIS PAW. IT WAS VERY PAINFUL. THIS LITTLE CA SAW THIS AND PULLED THE THORN OUT OF HIS PAW. THIS MADE THE TIGER VERY HAPPY. THE CAT SAYS, "I'VE DONE YOU A FAVOR. YOU DO ME ONE." THE TIGER SAYS, "ANYTHING." THE CAT SAYS, "WHENEVER I'M IN THE JUNGLE, I'M SCARED OF THE ANIMALS." THE TIGER SAYS, "NO PROBLEM. "WHEN YOU WALK THROUGH THE JUNGLE, "HOLD YOUR HEAD UP, "SHAKE IT, WAG YOUR TAIL, AND THEY'LL THINK YOU'RE A TIGER." THE LITTLE CA GOT AWAY WITH I FOR THREE YEARS. ONE DAY SHE ME THE TIGER. SHE WAS SHAKING HER HEAD, WAGGING HER TAIL. THE TIGER SAYS, "YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHAKE AND WAG AT ME. I KNOW YOU'RE A CAT." THAT'S IT? THAT'S IT. WHAT'S THA HAVE TO DO WITH ME? NOTHING. IT'S A CUTE STORY. I THOUGHT IT MIGH CHEER YOU UP. THAT'S BETTER. YOU'VE BEEN SEPARATED SEVEN MONTHS, RIGHT? YES. FROM WHAT YOU'VE SAID, TRACY'S CONTACTS WITH GOD USUALLY TAKE PLACE IN EATING AREAS. THE CHINESE RESTAURANT, McDONALD'S, AN ICE CREAM CART. THEY'VE ALL TAKEN PLACE SINCE YOU, MR. RICHARDS, LEFT THE HOUSE FOLLOWING YOUR SEPARATION. SO, OBVIOUSLY, TRACY HAS CREATED A FANTASY FATHER FIGURE AS A SUBSTITUTE TO GIVE HER THE EMOTIONAL NURTURING SHE CRAVES FROM HER MISSING FATHER. ARE YOU SURE? ONE IS NEVER COMPLETELY SURE, BUT THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE YOU SAID THAT'S VERY INTRIGUING. TRACY'S FANTASY FATHER, GOD, LIKE HER REAL FATHER, IS INTERESTED IN ADVERTISING OR SPREADING A MESSAGE, SO TO SPEAK. WELL, THAT'S TRUE. WELL, THESE ARE ONLY THEORIES. I'LL HAVE TO GIVE TRACY A SERIES OF TESTS TO VERIFY THEM. BRING BACK TRACY! BRING BACK TRACY! BRING BACK TRACY! BRING BACK TRACY! BRING BACK TRACY! BRING BACK TRACY! BRING BACK TRACY! BRING BACK TRACY! BRING BACK TRACY! BRING BACK TRACY! OOH! OW. WHAT'S YOUR FIRST MEMORY INVOLVING A PERSON? I CAN REMEMBER MY DAD PEELING AN APPLE. NOW, TODAY, I WANT YOU TO TELL ME IF THESE ARE REAL PEOPLE OR IMAGINARY CHARACTERS. ROBERT REDFORD. HE'S REAL. GEORGE WASHINGTON. WAS HE REAL? OF COURSE. BUGS BUNNY. REAL OR IMAGINARY? OH, COME ON, DOCTOR. WOULD YOU LOOK AT THESE SLIDES AND TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE? EGG FOO YUNG. OK. WHAT ABOUT THIS? SHRIMP IN LOBSTER SAUCE. AND THIS? SPAGHETTI. "THE TASTE OF MAMA." YOU SEEM TO ASSOCIATE EVERYTHING WITH FOOD. THAT SEEMS VERY SIGNIFICANT. IT COULD ALSO BE I'M STARVED. AH. THERE IS NO EVIDENCE OF ANY ORGANIC DISTURBANCE IN TRACY. OH, WELL, THAT'S GOOD. HOWEVER, THE EVALUATION IN THE BEHAVIORAL AREA IS NOT ENCOURAGING. TRACY IS STILL STEADFASTLY INSISTING THAT SHE'S ACTUALLY SEEN AND SPOKEN WITH GOD... A DELUSION THAT INDICATES A REAL PSYCHOSIS. PSYCHOSIS? I'M AFRAID SO. WHAT TRACY NEEDS IS OBSERVATION AND TREATMENT. NOW, WE HAVE A FINE PLACE IN SANTA BARBARA WHERE SHE'LL GE EXPERT CARE. BEFORE YOU KNOW IT-- WAIT. YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY SUGGESTING THAT... THAT SHE BE PU IN AN INSTITUTION, ARE YOU? DON'T LET THAT WORD BOTHER YOU. A BANK IS AN INSTITUTION. A SCHOOL, A SUPERMARKET, EVERYTHING IS AN INSTITUTION. THE FACT IS, THIS IS A NICE, PLEASAN CONTROLLED ENVIRONMEN WITH A TRAINED STAFF. SHE'LL BE MUCH BETTER OFF THERE. AND... SHE HAS TO BE THERE. IT'S, UM... IT'S A KIND OF RANCH IN SANTA BARBARA, SWEETHEART, ONLY, UH... YOU WON'T HAVE TO GO FOR AT LEAS TWO DAYS. AND YOU'LL BE BACK BEFORE YOU KNOW IT. DON'T BE SO UPTIGHT. I'M NOT WORRIED. THAT'S A GOOD ATTITUDE. YOU'RE A VERY BRIGH YOUNG LADY. GOD WOULD NEVER LET THEM PUT ME INTO AN INSTITUTION. I'M STARVED. LET'S GO FOR LUNCH. BRING BACK TRACY! BRING BACK TRACY! BRING BACK TRACY! BRING BACK TRACY! BRING BACK TRACY! BRING BACK TRACY! BRING BACK TRACY! BRING BACK TRACY! BRING BACK TRACY! BRING BACK TRACY! BRING BACK TRACY! BENSON IS RIGHT! BENSON IS RIGHT! BRING BACK TRACY! BRING BACK TRACY! BENSON IS RIGHT! BENSON IS RIGHT! BRING BACK TRACY! BRING BACK TRACY! [BELL JINGLES] GOD? GOD? WHERE ARE YOU? I NEED YOU. IT'S BEEN DAYS. TOMORROW THEY'RE PUTTING ME INTO AN INSTITUTION. I'VE BEEN TO THREE CHURCHES AND A SYNAGOGUE. I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU. [THE TONIGHT SHOW THEME PLAYS] FROM HOLLYWOOD, THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JOHNNY CARSON. THIS IS ED McMAHON ALONG WITH DOC SEVERINSEN AND THE NBC ORCHESTRA INVITING YOU TO JOIN JOHNNY AND HIS GUESTS... BUDDY HACKETT, STEVE LAWRENCE, AND DIZZY GILLESPIE. AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE'S... JOHNNY! [POP] TRACY, WHAT'S WRONG? I CAME TO SAY GOODBYE. I'M RUNNING AWAY. THEY WON' LOCK ME UP. WHERE ARE YOU GOING? I DON'T KNOW. SOMEPLACE. I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN. MEET ME IN MY GARAGE. I KNOW THE PERFEC HIDING PLACE. "DEAR MOM AND DAD, "I'M NOT GOING TO ANY FUNNY FARM. "DON'T WORRY. I'LL BE OK. "I LOVE YOU BOTH. REMEMBER TO FEED MY GOLDFISH." PAULA, IT'S ALL RIGHT. WE'LL FIND HER. ROSA, ARE YOU OK? FINE. IS THERE COFFEE IN THE KITCHEN? YES, OF COURSE. WOULD YOU BRING SOME? DON, THAT POOR LITTLE KID. WHAT COULD'VE HAPPENED TO HER? WHERE COULD SHE BE? PAULA, IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT. I THINK WE SHOULD CALL THE POLICE. IT'LL BE ALL OVER THE PAPERS. IT ALREADY IS. SHINGO, WHERE WERE YOU? I'VE LOOKED ALL OVER FOR YOU. I'VE BEEN TACKING UP SIGNS. WHERE'S TRACY? WHY, IS SHE MISSING? SHINGO, WHERE'S TRACY? I DON'T KNOW. I HAVEN' SEEN HER ALL DAY. LOOK, PAL. YOU AND TRACY ARE VERY CLOSE. SHE TELLS YOU EVERYTHING. YOU LISTEN TO ME. THIS IS VERY SERIOUS. I WANT TO KNOW WHERE SHE IS. [SPEAKING JAPANESE] TRACY? RINGO, RINGO. RINGO RINGO RING-- RINGA RING. SHINGO. SHINGO TALK YOU. THANK YOU. ALL RIGHT. HI, SHINGO. WHAT'S UP? I HAD TO TELL YOUR FATHER WHERE YOU ARE. WHY? HE DRAGGED I OUT OF ME. THEY'RE COMING TO GET YOU. THANKS, SHINGO. THIS IS THE LAST CALL FOR THE SOUTHWEST LIMITED, AMTRAK TRAIN NUMBER 4 DEPARTING FOR CHICAGO LATER ON, TOMMY. GOOD MORNING. ON TRACK 3. ALL ABOARD! TRACY. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I'VE LOOKED ALL OVER FOR YOU. TRACY, I'M A VERY BUSY MAN. MY PHONE NEVER STOPS RINGING. RUNNING AWAY-- THAT'S NOT LIKE YOU. I WAS SCARED. I DIDN'T WAN TO GO INTO THA DUMB INSTITUTION. IT ALL SEEMED SO HOPELESS. SO YOU PANICKED. ALL I WAS DOING WAS CAUSING TROUBLE. MY PARENTS WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT ME. NOW THEY'RE EVEN MORE WORRIED. I GUESS RUNNING AWAY ISN'T THE ANSWER. NEVER WAS. WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU HANG IN THERE. GUESS I'M NOT A MEMBER OF THE CLUB ANYMORE. NO, NO. THE BEST OF THEM HAD THEIR WEAK MOMENTS. THEY ALL STRUCK OU A FEW TIMES. DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF. TRACY, I'M TAKING YOU HOME. I WANT YOU TO. YOU FEEL BETTER NOW? YEAH. CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? GO AHEAD. WHY DO YOU LE BAD THINGS HAPPEN? YOU ASK VERY GOOD QUESTIONS. YOU KNOW, TRACY, THINGS THAT YOU MIGHT THINK ARE BAD ARE NOT ALWAYS BAD. SOMETIMES THERE'S A PURPOSE YOU'RE NOT AWARE OF. BUT WHAT ABOU SICKNESS? WHAT ABOU KIDS MY AGE WHO GET SICK AND DIE? THOSE ARE REALLY BAD THINGS, AREN'T THEY? THOSE ARE BAD THINGS. YES, PAIN AND SUFFERING-- THAT'S A HARD ONE TO EXPLAIN. I'LL BET. THIS SOUNDS LIKE A COPOUT, BUT THERE'S NOTHING I CAN REALLY DO ABOUT IT. IT'S BUIL INTO THE SYSTEM. WHICH YOU INVENTED. I NEVER COULD FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE ANYTHING WITH JUS ONE SIDE TO IT. ONE SIDE? YOU EVER SEE A FRON WITHOUT A BACK? A TOP WITHOU A BOTTOM? NO. UP WITHOUT DOWN? NO. OK. AND THERE CAN'T BE GOOD WITHOUT BAD, LIFE WITHOUT DEATH, PLEASURE WITHOUT PAIN. THAT'S HOW IT IS. IF I TAKE SAD AWAY, HAPPY GOES WITH IT. IF ANYONE KNOWS ANOTHER WAY, I WISH THEY'D PUT I IN THE SUGGESTION BOX. I GUESS SOMEDAY I'LL UNDERSTAND. YOU DO, YOU'LL BE THE FIRST. SOME THINGS CAN'T BE GRASPED. WHAT'S THE END? THE END OF TIME? THE END OF THE UNIVERSE? EVEN EINSTEIN FLUNKED THAT ONE. YOU TALK TO ME LIKE I'M GROWN UP. I LIKE THAT. GOOD. LET'S GET GOING. IN A HALF HOUR, YOU'LL BE IN YOUR OWN BED. A HALF HOUR? BUT YOU GOT TO MY ROOM FROM THE CARSON SHOW IN ONE SECOND. TRACY, THAT WORKS FOR ME. FOR YOU, I'LL HAVE TO DO IT THE HARD WAY. AND THERE IT IS. [ENGINE STARTS] WOW! I'M GOING TO LIKE THIS. COME ON, LET'S GO. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON ONE OF THESE? NO. NEITHER HAVE I. HANG ON. WHEE! HAVING FUN, TRACY? YEAH! WOW, THIS IS TERRIFIC! [SIRENS] HERE COME THE POLICE! HOLD ON! WOW! WHEE! HA HA HA HA! DID YOU SEE WHAT I SAW? NO DRIVER. JUST A PASSENGER? THAT'S RIGHT. NO REPOR ON THIS ONE. NO WAY. WE MUST HAVE JUST MISSED HER. PAULA, IT'S ALL RIGHT. THE POLICE ARE GOING TO FIND HER. LOOK, WHY DON' I STAY OVER IN CASE WE HEAR SOMETHING? DON... THERE'S A LIGH IN TRACY'S ROOM. TRACY? TRACY? TRACY! WHERE WERE YOU, DARLING? WHAT HAPPENED? BABY... ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YEAH. WELL, HOW DID YOU GET HOME? GOD BROUGHT ME HOME ON HIS MOTORCYCLE. WELL, THAT'S... THAT'S JUS WONDERFUL, SWEETHEART. COME ON, GE SOME SLEEP NOW. OK. GOOD NIGHT, BUTTON. GOOD NIGHT. DON'T WORRY. I'M NOT AFRAID OF THAT INSTITUTION ANYMORE. WELL... WE'LL TALK ABOUT I IN THE MORNING, TRACY. GOOD NIGHT. GOOD MORNING. I'M HUGH DOWNS. I'VE BEEN BROADCASTING FOR OVER FOUR DECADES, AND I HAVE NEVER SEEN A PHENOMENON LIKE THE ONE THAT'S GOING ON TODAY. 14 DAYS AGO, THIS LITTLE SCHOOLGIRL FROM WEST LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA--TRACY RICHARDS, DECIDED TO WRITE "THINK GOD" ON THIS SIDEWALK. SHE GOT SOME SCHOOL FRIENDS TO HELP HER OUT. AND THIS THING HAS REALLY SPREAD. ON FENCES... ON BUMPER STICKERS... AND LOOK AT THIS. AND THIS. AND IF YOU THINK THAT'S SOMETHING, THERE'S MORE. LONDON. FROM BUCKINGHAM PALACE TO PICCADILLY SQUARE, EVERYWHERE LONDONERS GO TODAY, THEY ARE REMINDED TO "THINK GOD." PARIS. [SPEAKING FRENCH] TOKYO. [SPEAKING JAPANESE] CAIRO. [SPEAKING ARABIC] NOW HERE IS NOTED PSYCHOLOGIS DR. JOYCE BROTHERS. WE SHOULD KEEP AN OPEN MIND. IF THERE ISN'T A GOD, I'D LIKE TO POINT OU THAT THOSE CHILDREN WHO EASILY ENGAGE IN FANTASY, WHO'VE HAD AN IMAGINARY PLAYMATE OR AN IMAGINARY COMPANION, DO BETTER IN DEALING WITH THE CRISES OF LIFE THAN THOSE WHO DIDN'T. AND IF THERE IS A GOD, I BELIEVE TRACY RICHARDS SAW HIM AND SPOKE TO HIM. STRANGELY, CHILDREN OFTEN HAVE A FIRMER GRIP ON REALITY THAN MOST ADULTS. AND, AS THE OLD TESTAMENT SAYS, "AND A LITTLE CHILD SHALL LEAD THEM." NOW WE KNOW THE REASON. THE CHURCHES ARE FULL, BUT THE CLASSROOMS ARE EMPTY. WHEN TRACY RICHARDS WAS EXPELLED FROM SCHOOL, IT SET OFF A CITYWIDE STUDENT STRIKE. IT ALSO SET OFF BITTER CONFRONTATION BETWEEN SUPERINTENDEN OF SCHOOLS JEFFREY HODGES AND DR. JEROME NEWELL-- THE PSYCHIATRIS IN WHOSE CARE TRACY HAS BEEN PLACED. THE SUPERINTENDEN WANTS HER BACK IN SCHOOL, BUT DR. NEWELL SAYS NO. THE CASE IS BEING HEARD BY JUDGE THOMAS MILLER. WE'RE IN A CRISIS. AS SUPERINTENDEN OF SCHOOLS, IT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY TO GET THE CHILDREN BACK INTO CLASS. I WANT A COURT ORDER TO FORCE DR. NEWELL TO RELEASE TRACY RICHARDS. SUPERINTENDENT HODGES IS WRONG, YOUR HONOR. SHE DOESN'T BELONG IN SCHOOL. SHE'S SUFFERING FROM DELUSIONS. SHE BELONGS WHERE SHE CAN GET CARE AND TREATMENT. CHILDREN IMAGINE... LOTS OF THINGS. OUR WHOLE SCHOOL SYSTEM IS PARALYZED BECAUSE OF THE PERSONAL OPINION OF ONE MAN. EXCUSE ME, BU I DON'T INTEND TO RELY ON THE PERSONAL OPINION OF ONE MAN, SIR. NOW, BEFORE I ISSUE A COURT ORDER, DR. NEWELL, DO SOMETHING FOR ME. I'D LIKE YOU TO CONVENE A PANEL OF TOP PSYCHIATRISTS IN THIS CITY AND HAVE THEM THOROUGHLY EXAMINE THIS POOR LITTLE GIRL-- TRACY RICHARDS, IS IT? TRACY RICHARDS. AND THEN, WHEN THEY'VE MADE THEIR CONCLUSIONS... I'LL MAKE MY DECISION. YES, I MET HIM IN MY DAD'S CAR. HE CAME THROUGH THE TELEVISION SET. HE GAVE ME ICE CREAM-- CHERRY JUBILEE, WE ATE AT McDONALD'S, AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN-- HE BROUGHT ME HOME ON HIS MOTORCYCLE. DR. WHITLEY, THERE'S ONE QUESTION I WOULD LIKE TO ASK. I THINK THERE HAVE BEEN ENOUGH QUESTIONS. MR. AND MRS. RICHARDS, IS THERE ANYTHING THAT YOU'D LIKE TO ADD? WELL, UH... WHAT CAN WE SAY? NO, UH... WE'D LIKE TO DO WHATEVER'S BES FOR TRACY. WOULD YOU THREE MIND STEPPING INTO THE WAITING ROOM? UH, CARL... WELL, IT'S VERY EVIDEN WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH HERE. I MIGHT ADD, DR. NEWELL, YOU'VE DONE YOUR USUAL THOROUGH JOB. THANK YOU. MAY I BRING UP A POINT? I'D LIKE TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE'S A GREA DEAL OF SYMPATHY FOR THAT LITTLE GIRL. MANY CHILDREN ARE OUT OF SCHOOL. OUR PROFESSION WILL BE UNDER TREMENDOUS PRESSURE. WE CAN' GIVE IN TO THAT. NO, WE CAN' GIVE IN TO THAT. NO, WE--WE CAN'T. IF WE LET HER RUN AROUND WITH HER DELUSIONS, WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT THE PATIEN WHO THINKS HE'S NAPOLEON? CERTAINLY. IF SHE'S RIGHT, THEN, UH... WE'RE ALL WRONG. NO, THE GIRL BELONGS IN AN INSTITUTION. NOW, ARE THERE ANY OBJECTIONS? NO? THEN THAT'S SETTLED. CARL, WOULD YOU BRING THEM BACK IN, PLEASE? THEY'RE READY. NOW, TRACY... WE'VE ALL DECIDED THAT, UH, YOU NEED HELP... AND, BELIEVE ME, IT'S IN YOUR BEST INTEREST. AND THE CHANCES ARE THAT YOU WON'T BE THERE FOR LONG. IF YOU LOOK AT I IN A POSITIVE WAY, I'M SURE THAT YOU-- It's him. It's God. SORRY I'M LATE. I WANT TO APOLOGIZE TO MY DISTINGUISHED COLLEAGUES. I WOULD'VE BEEN HERE SOONER, BUT I WAS STUCK IN TRAFFIC. EXCUSE ME, SIR. WHO ARE YOU? DR. STEVENS. I DON'T RECALL YOUR BEING INVITED. IF I WAITED TO BE INVITED, I'D MISS A LO OF IMPORTANT THINGS. HOWEVER, IN THIS CASE, I THINK YOU'RE MISTAKEN. BUT YOUR NAME'S NOT ON THE LIST. YES, IT IS. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE'RE ALL LEARNED PSYCHIATRISTS. WHAT DID THIS LITTLE GIRL DO THAT WAS SO TERRIBLE? SHE GOT CHILDREN TOGETHER. THEY ALL WROTE "THINK GOD," AND THE WORLD IS THINKING GOD. IS THAT SO BAD? BUT, SIR, AS A... LEARNED PSYCHIATRIST, YOU OUGHT TO KNOW THAT THAT'S NO THE POINT. THIS LITTLE GIRL CLAIMS SHE NOT ONLY SAW GOD AND SPOKE TO HIM, BUT HE SPOKE TO HER AS WELL. WHO ARE WE TO SAY THAT SHE DIDN'T? MAYBE SHE DID. MAYBE SHE DIDN'T. LOOK, SIR, WE'VE ALL VOTED. I KNOW, AND YOU SAID IF SHE'S RIGH THEN WE'RE ALL WRONG. WELL... HOW DID YOU KNOW I SAID THAT? I ALSO READ TEA LEAVES. LOOK, I MEAN, WE ARE COMPETEN PROFESSIONALS. WE KNOW OUR BUSINESS. WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS CASE BACKWARDS AND FORWARDS, AND WE HAVE MADE OUR DECISION. I WOULDN'T WANT THIS TO GET AROUND, BUT, IF WE'RE SO COMPETENT, SO RIGHT IN ALL OUR METHODS AND THEORIES, HOW IS IT SO MANY PEOPLE IN INSTITUTIONS NEVER GET OUT? BUT THAT'S A SITUATION BEYOND OUR CONTROL. MANY PEOPLE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN REALITY AND ILLUSION. REMEMBER, SOMETIMES IT'S VERY DIFFICUL TO DETERMINE WHAT IS REALITY AND WHAT IS ILLUSION. FOR INSTANCE, THE, UH, THE CHANDELIER-- NOW, THAT'S REALITY. WE ALL LOOKED UP, WE ALL SAW IT. WE ALL KNOW IT'S THERE. BUT IS IT? [GASP] [GASP] OH, MY GOD... IT IS GOD. WHAT'S THE ILLUSION, AND WHAT'S THE REALITY? DID THE CHANDELIER DISAPPEAR OR NOT? WE'RE ALL INTELLIGENT PEOPLE. DID WE SEE IT, OR DIDN'T WE SEE IT? MAYBE THAT LITTLE GIRL DID SEE AND TALK WITH GOD. WHERE IS IT WRITTEN THAT MOSES HAD AN EXCLUSIVE? JUST BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO GOD DOESN'T MEAN SHE HASN'T. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON OR WHO YOU ARE-- MAYBE A MAGICIAN OR A HYPNOTIST-- BUT THERE ARE SOME THINGS I'M SURE OF. I KNOW THAT WE'RE ALL PSYCHIATRISTS HERE. I KNOW I'M BENJAMIN CHARLES WHITLEY. I HAVE FOUR CHILDREN. I PAY $2,200 A MONTH ALIMONY. I KNOW THIS IS THE UCLA MEDICAL CENTER, AND I KNOW IT IS 11:30 IN THE MORNING. DOCTOR... ARE YOU SURE IT'S MORNING? [GASP] [GASP] DOCTOR, YOU'RE RIGHT. IT IS 11:30 IN THE MORNING. I KNOW WE'RE ALL ANXIOUS TO GET HOME, BUT BEFORE WE JUDGE TRACY, SHOULDN'T WE ALL BE A LITTLE MORE SURE OF OURSELVES? IF WE TOLD EVERYBODY THAT WE SAW DAY TURN INTO NIGH AND NIGHT INTO DAY, THEY'D THROW US OUT OF SCHOOL, TOO. SO MAYBE TRACY DID SEE GOD. MAYBE YOU'RE SEEING HIM RIGHT NOW. MAYBE YOU'RE NOT. THINK ABOUT IT. GIVE I SOME THOUGHT. [GASP] [GASP] [GASP] IF YOU'LL EXCUSE US, WE'RE GOING TO TAKE TRACY HOME NOW. WE'VE GOT TO GET HER READY FOR SCHOOL IN THE MORNING. COME ON, BABY. AHEM. I, UH... I DON'T KNOW, UH, WHETHER ANY OF US HERE UNDERSTAND WHAT, UH... WHAT--WHA REALLY HAPPENED HERE, BUT I'M INCLINED TO THINK THAT IT MIGHT BE A VERY GOOD IDEA IF WE KEEP I TO OURSELVES. YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. VERY WELL, THEN... THE CASE OF TRACY RICHARDS IS CLOSED. THANK GOD. YOU'RE WELCOME. TO THE THREE OF US. HOW ABOU A LITTLE KISS, HUH? THANK YOU. HOW ABOUT ONE OVER HERE? WITH PLEASURE. RECONCILIATIONS ARE MORE FUN THAN WEDDINGS. EXCUSE ME. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. WHERE YOU GOING? JUST TO THE LOUNGE FOR A SECOND. AH. DON'T BE TOO LONG. YOUR EGG FOO YUNG WILL GET COLD. OK. COME IN, TRACY. I WAS WAITING FOR THE DOOR TO OPEN BY ITSELF. SORRY. I FORGOT. YOU SEE, TRACY, EVERYTHING WORKED OUT. IT SURE DID. IT'S NEAT THE WAY YOU GOT MY PARENTS TOGETHER AGAIN. NO, NO. THEY DID THA BY THEMSELVES. AW, I BE YOU ARRANGED THE WHOLE THING. HONEST TO ME, I DIDN'T. TRACY, THE REASON I CALLED YOU-- I WANT TO THANK YOU AND ALL THE CHILDREN FOR THE WONDERFUL JOB YOU DID. WILL I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN? IF I EVER HAVE A REAL BIG PROBLEM, YOU'LL BE THE FIRST ONE I'LL CALL. YOU WON'T NEED ME. YOU'RE GOD. YOU DON'T NEED ANYBODY. GOD NEEDS EVERYONE. I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET. GOODBYE, TRACY. GO AHEAD, TRACY. THERE'S NOTHING WORSE THAN COLD EGG FOO YUNG. |
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