# A wanted man in California #
# A wanted man in Buffalo #
# A wanted man in Kansas City #
# A wanted man in Ohio #
# A wanted man in Mississippi #
# A wanted man in old Cheyenne #
# Wherever you might look tonight #
# You might see this wanted man #
Bingo caller:
N-43.
Four-three on the "N".
# There's somebody set to grab me #
# Anywhere that I might be #
# Wherever you might look tonight #
# You might get a glimpse of me #
# A wanted man in California #
# A wanted man in Buffalo #
- And D-48,
That's "D" over the 4-8...
# A wanted man in Ohio #
# A wanted man in Mississippi #
# A wanted man in old Cheyenne #
# Wherever you might look tonight #
# You might see this wanted man #
Ahem! Psst!
Um, looks like we might
get some rain.
Bingo caller: N-40, that's
40 under the "N".
Huh?
The -
Oh, I'm sorry, I -
My mistake, I thought
you were someone else.
No, no, wait a minute,
kid, kid, kid...
I forgot what
I was supposed to say,
Y'know, like, uh...
"The rain's good
for the farmers,"
"Grow some crops,"
some shit like that.
Mr. Burmeister?
Yeah, Burmeister. Sit down.
Oh, hey, I, uh -
I brought the money.
Pss-pss-pss- later.
Oh! Yeah.
You're dealing with a professional here.
Bingo.
Hey, a man's
gotta do somethin'.
Besides, it's
too early in the day
to be chasin' pussy.
Carl Harding. Sorry I'm late.
It's your hour.
50 minutes. But who's counting, right?
So, Carl, why don't you -
I'm sorry, before we begin,
Um, please make sure that
the bills go to my office,
not to my house.
- Sure.
- Thank you.
So why don't you
start at the beginning,
and tell me why
you've come to see me.
Right.
You wanna hear about
my mom and my childhood,
is that the kinda shit
you're looking for?
If that's why you're here.
No, it's not.
What do I look like?
Just to set
the record straight,
I Just made partner
at the second-largest law firm
in the state,
so I'm doing very well, thank you.
So I don't
mean to brag, but you asked.
No I didn't.
- Okay.
So you're here because...?
- I'm here because
I've got this thing
going on with a woman -
not my mom!
It's not.
# A wanted man in Albuquerque #
# A wanted man in Syracuse #
# A wanted man in Tallahassee #
# A wanted man in Baton Rouge #
Got a minute?
Uh, in a second.
Come on.
I hope this
is important, Charlie,
I've got Junior choir practice
in twenty minutes.
I need to talk.
This won't keeptill confession?
I really need some helpwith this.
Is it a woman?
Charlie:
I'm so glad you could helpme with this.
I don't know what to do,
I knew you'd helpme
sort this out.
I'm here for you, Charlie,
no matter what it is.
Now, Just take your time,
and tell me everything
about this woman.
I got all day.
I don't usually do
this sort of thing.
Uh-huh.
I've never done this before, y'know?
That's okay, sweetie.
You can start with the next game
on the green sheet.
It's four-card crazy bingo.
Ten dollars.
Lemme get two cups of coffee, please.
Oh, uh, yeah. Two cups for me, too.
O-76...
0-55, 0-5-5.
Y- y-you gotta know, um...
I got my reasons for doing this.
Well, that's nice.
- See, not too long ago,
my life was goin' along Just fine.
I was happy...
Mm-hmm.
Well, maybe I wasn't happy,
but, y'know, I was content.
I had a Job, I had friends...
I had a house...
I had everything but -
That steady bang, huh?
"She," the squeeze, the girlfriend -
whatever you wanna call a chick.
Yeah, right.
And then I met her...
This whole thing
started one night at McCools
The place was packed,
even my cousin Carl was there,
and I was in the zone
Everybodys got their power base -
pouring drinks is my speciality
I was puttin on quite a show
for the frat boys
at the end of the bar
Awright, who wants to take the plunge?
I want it!
Awright, I know
its only bartending,
but hey,
I m good at it
Randy: Awright, folks,
let's go, wrapit up.
- What a setup!
You must get laid
like...all the time.
- Oh, yeah.
The girls are
linin' uparound the block.
Fuck, I knew it!
They Just can't resist a man
working for tips in the service industry.
Tell me!
Gimme, gimme, gimme...
Y'know, Carl, I appreciate
your comin' down here
and gettin' shit-faced drunk, but -
Haaa!
Don't you think it's about time
you went home to Karen and the kids?
Well, that would be a good idea,
except they're
visiting Grandma in Ohio.
What about that thing called a Job?
You might wanna go home
and sober upfor an hour or two
before goin' in
and facing the partners
of Do-We Cheat-Em And How.
Close. You must mean
Ragsdale, Hersch & Klein.
Take a card, young man,
because you never know.
Oh! What are you
tryin' to do,
you tryin' to
get rid of me?
Hey! Let's go
to one of those after hours clubs.
They got these long,
long- legged girls there,
you can look at them
and maybe touch them.
I gotta close up.
You think Just 'cause I'm married
I don't know about these places?
Just because you are married
means you're gettin' it
a whole lot more than me.
That's a depressing thought.
Carl, you need me
to call you a cab?
Oh, no...
you Just sobered me uppretty good.
Get home safe.
It had been
a fairly busy night
so by the time
I closed the register
and cleaned upthe Joint,
all I wanted to do
was go home
Woman:
Where are you going?!
Stopthe car!
Man:
Do you hear what I'm tellin' ya?!
Don't touch me!
Get over here!
Let go of me!
Hey!
Awright, go!
Driver:
Fuck you!
And there she was...
This is not the kind of girl
you usually run into
In a dark alley
In fact, this is not
the kind of girl
I ever run into
You okay?
Girl:No, I'm not okay.
Some smelly guy
Just tried to rape me.
- What a Jerk! Here.
You want me to
call the police?
I- I know you're Just
trying to help,
but spending
the rest of the night
with a bunch of ass hole cops
isn't exactly what I need right now.
Your...
Thanks.
You got a smoke?
Huh? No, sorry.
This really is my night.
I bet I could
find you one in the bar.
It's okay.
I'm tryin' to cut down anyway.
You're gonna be okay?
- Yeah.
Okay, alright.
I'll see you around.
Hey!
What are you doin' right now?
- Whaddya mean?
Well, I mean, look,
I Just had this little
unpleasant experience,
and I don't especially
feel like being by myself.
Right, right.
Well, I was Just gonna go home.
You got a stereo?
Well, I got a boom box.
Only one of the speakers
is workin', so...
I don't know if
you call it a stereo.
You wanna go
listen to some music?
Where's your car?
Actually, I Just live
a couple of blocks -
Hun -no car.
- Sorry.
Hey.
So, do you live
in a house or an apartment?
Well, this is it.
You live here alone?
It was my mother's before she died.
You own it?
Yeah.
Oh, you're so lucky.
I've always dreamt
of having my own place.
I know what you're thinking -
The police station
might be cheerier, huh?
It's great.
Yeah.
Lot of potential.
"A lot of potential."
What is she,
a real estate agent?
Can I get you something to drink?
Uh, tapwater,
I got beer,
I got tapwater,
I think I got...
Uh...
I may have a Yoo-Hoo.
- Beer sounds good.
I forgot. I drank
the last one this morning.
Uh, I can make some tea
or, uh, coffee...
That's fine, thanks.
Well, tea, anyway.
Water's fine.
Maybe some ice?
Water.
Ah...
Sorry, no, uh,
no ice.
My freezer's on the blink.
How is it?
What?
The water.
Fine.
Do you like water?
I love it.
It's actually
my second favorite thing in the world.
Really? And what's
your first favorite?
Fucking.
What?!
It's my mom's room.
# The way you move
your sexy body #
# It makes me want to
get to know you #
# A little bit better #
# The way you move #
# Your sexy body #
# Makes me want to
get to know you #
# A little bit better #
# Girl will make your moves #
# Straight through your heart
stingin' on point #
# Like a game of darts #
# Your sexy figure
it makes me figure #
# How to get close to you
and make your coochie shook #
# I'm so into you
I can feel ya groove #
# Don't hold back
Just make your move #
# The way you move #
# Your sexy body #
# Makes me want to
get to know you #
# A little bit better...#
A woman after
my own heart - heh-heh.
Hun-hun.
You have no idea
what this woman is capable of.
I guess you don't have to
worry about that anymore,
do you?
I don't think of myself
as the kind of person
who's in this kind of office.
When I think about people
who are in therapy,
these are people who don't
have their lives in control.
I am -
I'm in control of my life,
my life is-is in control,
that is not a problem for me.
What about the woman
you mentioned?
Right. Uh...
It started
one night at McCool's...
Its a kind of
a low-rent Joint
Ordinarily I would
never be seen dead
in a place like this
Hey! Who wants to take the plunge?
But on this particular night,
Karen had taken the kids
to Ohio to visit her mom
So I decided to
dropin on my cousin,
who I hadn't seen
in a long time
We re talking about
an adult
who thinks it's fun
to drink out of
a toilet plunger.
I mean, this is
the mentality we're dealing with here.
Let's Just stay focused
on the woman, okay?
Right.
The woman, okay
Well, I look across the room
and I saw
...a very beautiful woman.
I hung around
hoping shed come back,
but she didn t
Okay, time for me to go.
It was pretty late,
and I d had a few drinks
And there she was
Girl:
I'm Just a little bit nervous.
How do I look?
She was with this guy,
and I thought maybe
this is not the best time
to hit on
this particular woman
What is this,
PMS week?
So I got in my car and
I don't know, I started
to doze off a little,
and I hear all this
screaming and cursing.
Girl:
Don't touch me, asshole!
I'm gettin' out!
Bartender:
Hey!
Wow.
Tits.
Driver:
Fuck you!
Therapist:
And you didn't try to help?
Oh, I would have.
But?
I may have fallen asleep.
You should know -
I was practically
forced into this.
Bartender:
Jewel?
Jewel?
I, uh...
I suppose
it's not gonna help
If i tell you
that was really amazing?
I know it was.
That's the problem.
To tell ya the truth...
I only took
one psychology course
in Junior college,
I know there's
supposed to be this thing
where you're sad
or you're guilty after...
Well, I personally
don't suffer from that.
It's not that.
Don't you see?
That guy tonight -
Oh - oh, that creep
in the firebird?
I know that guy.
Of course
you know the guy.
Let's face it,
you're not the type of girl
who Just Jumps into a car
with some smelly guy
that you don't even know,
I know that.
No...
He and I are...
doing this...
thing.
Oh, shit, I really like you.
What do you mean by "thing"?
He and I get in this fight,
and then you or whoever
comes to my rescue
and takes me home, and then...
He like shows up
and we rob you.
What?
We rob you.
I mean, do you believe that?
I'm shocked.
I- I take it this is
something that
you-you've done before?
Just a couple of times.
I know it sounds sick,
but you don't know Utah, he's nuts.
How does he know
where we are, anyway?
I'm supposed to
call him and tell him.
You-you haven't
done that yet, have you?
Of course not!
Oh, good.
Good...
Um...okay.
I got it.
Don't call him.
Let's call the police instead.
Not if you ever
want to see me again.
Oh, right.
Y'know, I generally
think better
with my shoes on, so...
This guy Utah,
is he a mormon?
Uh, I wouldn't say that.
Oh. I didn't think so.
You know, this guy...
He sounds like
a ma Jor piece of shit, you know?
You wouldn't be
talkin' about me,
would ya, loverboy?
Wh-why didn't you call?
I was Just about to.
Has this guy
got anything worth takin'?
Old TV, a VCR.
He's got a boom box,
but only one speaker works.
A Mr Coffee machine.
Telephone, um...
Oh yeah, and one light
hooked upto the clapper.
Hey, that was my mom's.
Shut your fuckin' mouth!
You stand there,
you call me a piece of shit!
Huh? I'm the piece of shit?
I'm here with my lady,
you understand?
It is a touchy situation!
Has he got a car?
No.
No?
He's pathetic!
You-you don't
got a car?
Everybody's
got a car today -
Even bums don't
not got a car!
What do you do when
you take a chick out,
you go on a bus?
Think you're gonna
get laid on a bus?
Think you're gonna
give some chick
the fuckin' monster on a bus?
Huh?
I got a car...
The "piece of shit's" got a car!
What about Jewelry,
has he got Jewelry?
Just a Swatch
Nice leather band, though.
Oh yeah?
Take it off.
C'mon, you're so slow.
It's right over here.
Awright, you're up,
slugger, let's go.
You want me to open it?
No, I want you
to dance with it -
Move!
Okay.
And if there's
a gun in there, Just leave it.
'Cause you'll
pull it out, you'll get nervous,
you'll wind upmiss in' me,
then I gotta do
what I gotta do with what I got.
Look at me.
Look at me
when I talk to you!
I can't look at you
and look at the safe at the same time.
Oh, excuse me, okay.
You're the big-shot now,
I'm nobody, right?
Okay, I'm over here now.
Excuse me.
Got any other features
on this watch?
It's got a stopwatch.
It's got a stopwatch?
I never figured out
how to use it.
It's simple,
it's this button -
Oh...
What happened?
He was gonna kill you.
Really?
I mean,
he was Just -
He could definitely
tell that there was
something going on
between us, y'know?
How?
Because I've never
actually slept with
any of the other guys
that I've done this with before,
that's how.
Is he dead?
Oh, Jesus.
Do you hate me now?
No, no, no, no.
No.
Oh yes, you do!
No, it's not that, okay?
It's Just the sex
and the violence
all in one night,
it's a little much.
- What are we gonna do now?
- What?
- What are we gonna do now?!
- I don't know!
Well, think of something!
Let's call the police.
That's a good idea.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, really.
And what are we
gonna tell 'em?
We'll tell them
the truth,
I mean, that
he was robbing you
and-and I shot him,
and that's that.
Yeah.
Tell 'em the truth.
I like that.
Uh, since he was
threatening you,
I probably
won't get more than ten years, right?
And with good behavior
- I could be out in seven...years.
Wait...
Um...
- Let's come upwith another plan.
- What?
I mean, that he
was robbing you
and somebody else shot him?
Who?
Well, we could say
that I shot him.
That won't work.
It's ridiculous,
it would never work that way, it's-
Well, maybe...
Well, I mean, let's...
Let's go over it.
Okay.
- He was robbing the place.
- Yes.
- He did get shot, right?
- Mm-hmm.
So that's
two out of three.
What's that,
that's sixty-seven percent true,
I mean, that's
pretty good these days, right?
Right.
That's some first date,
killin' her boyfriend.
Well, it gave
the relationship a certain intensity.
Charlie:
It all started one night at McCools
Earl Raymond Pitts.
Had a list of priors
goin' back to the womb.
Seriously.
He was born in
Dwight Correctional.
His mother had twins
while she was doin' a bit for narcotics.
You mean
there's another one out there like him?
Huh. Yeah.
He went by the name "Utah."
"Utah"...
The Mormon State?
Yeah. Don't ask me.
I'm a little unclear on this.
He was holding
a gun on you,
But you were able
to get your gun
and shoot him point-blank
in the back of the head?
Yeah, right.
It-it all happened
kinda fast.
So...
he was standing
in front of you,
and then...what?
He heard something?
Right.
He turned around,
you grabbed your gun...
Right.
Which was where?
Uh...
- Hidden next to the safe?
- Right.
Just in case
something like this ever happened.
He turned around,
you grabbed your gun, and pow!
Exactly -
that's exactly how it happened.
About what time was this?
Huh?
About what time
was this?
Oh, uh...
Just before I called 911.
Thanks.
Hey.
It's res ponsible citizens
Just like yourself
that make my Job
a lot easier.
You can imagine my mood,
getting roused
from a sound sleep
to go scoopsome citizen
off a barroom floor
- You wanna talk to the lady?
- What lady?
His.
Does she have
anything to do with it?
Nah, she was
waitin' for him back at their house,
he didn't show,
she got worried,
came here
lookin' for him.
Let her go.
Awright.
You're free
to go, miss.
Suddenly
my whole life changed
Like Theresa had
come back from the dead
She even looks
a little like Theresa.
So this girl,
she's good in the sack, huh?
I'm sorry, man,
you get my age,
you like to hear
about the old un!
Sorry.
- O-18, 1-8 under the "O".
Nice ass?
Mr. Chick Fife,
telephone call.
Mr. Chick Fife, please
call your cardiologist.
You takin' the rap
for the shooting
musta worked out okay.
Your boss, he musta
treated you like a hero.
Oh, kid...
Death and good times,
they don't mix.
I can't have people
comin' in here
lokin' for a good time,
seein' you and thinkin',
"uh-oh, that's the one
"that put a bullet
in the guy's head.
"Maybe he's gonna serve me
"my strawberry daiquiri
and onion rings,
"or maybe he's gonna
go postal on my ass!"
Joey, the guy was
tryin' to rob your bar.
He didn't take nothin'!
You put a bullet
in his friggin' noggin!
You're gone! Go!
Hello!
Wh-what are you doin'?
What does it look like?
I'm ironing.
We're not there yet, are we?
What do you mean
we're not there yet?
We're movin' a little fast here, Jewel.
- Yeah?
- Hi, how ya doin'. Need your signature.
- What's this?
- 1-800-Mattress.
I didn't order
any mattress.
Dammit!
How are we supposed
to pay for this stuff?!
Jewel:
God, Randy, I Just thought
we really had something,
or at least the start of something.
But obviously
I'm incredibly stupid.
You're not stupid.
I'll be out of your life
in Just a few minutes.
I didn't say
I wanted you out of my life.
Ha!
It's Just...with the ironing,
the-the new mattress,
they all Just
seem like things
that are a little further
down the line,
that's all.
Further
down the line
than all the sex
we've been having?
Any further down the line
than killing Utah together?
You're right...
you know what, it's me.
I lost my Job today.
You what?
I got canned.
Oh, baby,
why didn't you say so?
Aw...
are you okay?
I guess.
Oh...
Mmm...
Oh, your cousin called.
The lawyer.
We're going over
to his house on Saturday
for a barbecue.
So Carl invites me
over to his house for a barbecue.
Now, Carl never
invites me over,
so I'm thinkin'
to myself, why now?
Here you go.
That's sweet.
Thanks.
That is some
ma Jor league pussy.
Ha ha ha!
I meant that
in a good way.
You bangin' her?
She must have
fucked you senseless
when she found out
you shot a guy?
Because I read that
women cream for the violence.
I don't know
what that is.
When you're fuckin' her, though,
because she's so young, is it -
I'm gonna see if
they want some helpin the kitchen.
I'm Just asking.
I mean, look at her!
It's like havin'
a porn star in my house!
Except she's
makin' salad.
You have such
a beautiful house - it's so homey.
That's all Karen,
believe me.
I wanted to go with
lots of stainless steel,
something we could Just
pssh! Hose it right off.
A lot of this stuff
we don't even use,
so if you really
like it, take it.
Thank you, Jewel.
It's always been my dream
to have a real nice house.
I already know exactly
what it'll look like -
Wall-to-wall carpeting
with matching drapes,
and a big, fluffy white couch,
nice dining room set,
and in the corner...
a fountain.
A fountain?
It's gonna be...
It's gonna be great.
It's of a little girl
washing her hair
and the water runs off
into a giant sea shell
with goldfish
swimming in it.
I didn't Just make it up,
I saw it in a magazine.
Better Homes
and Fountains?
Carl!
Hey, Randy, you got a fountain
in your place, don't ya?
In the living room -
Oh no, that's
a leaky toilet.
My mistake.
You know what, Carl?
You're not funny - Just rude.
- Let's get together some time.
- That's a good idea.
Bye.
Hey, c'mon.
Mmm...
Okay, okay!
Ha ha ha!
Okay.
Why don't you
let Carl run you home?
No, I'm afraid
that's where your luck runs out.
I can't drive,
I've been drinkin'.
Would you
buy a car?
One of these days.
Make him
buy a car, would ya?
Let's go catch
that 4:15 bus,
Let's get
the hell out of here.
Randy:
Buy a car -
I wish he hadn t
put that idea in her head
What's this?
Oh, a friend of mine's
goin' away for a little while...
So she said
I could borrow it.
Well, what happens
when your friend gets back?
We're gonna be used
to havin' a car by then.
So?
- Then we're gonna have to buy one.
- So?
It's a bottomless pit
of expenses!
You got in surance,
you got repairs, car payments-
You're Just afraid
because now you don't
have an excuse
for not finding work, aren't you?
Stopright there,
this has nothing to do with work.
Did you know
it's safer to fly
than it is
to drive a car?
You're upset with me
Because I didn't
bring you home a plane?
Another thing, if you think
I'm gonna be out there
with a hose and a bucket of suds
to wash the damnthing,
you can forget it - I'm not that guy.
Well, fine.
I'll wash the car.
God, you're
full of shit.
What's that?
I'm full of shit?
Yes.
Lemme tell ya -
I have seen people
leave the bar so drunk
they can't even see,
and off they speed
in their giant
sports utility vehicles.
Well, you run into
one of these guys out on the street,
and you're gonna die,
and you're gonna die ugly!
Would you relax?
Christ, look at this house!
Uh... I come at
a bad time?
Uh, no.
Randy:
And then that damndetective dropped in
As if i wasn t
stressed-out enough
I'll let you two talk.
What'd he want?
Oh, you know, he's a cop.
They're never satisfied
unless they ask you
everything ten times.
After that night at McCool's
I was a mess.
I couldn't concentrate...
I couldn't sleep...
I could barely eat.
Nothin' deep-fried, anyway.
I had this longing...
Something inside of me said
I had to see that woman again
Boy, was I glad I got there
at that exact moment
He was getting very abusive
You're gonna die,
and you're gonna die ugly!
It was like I had been chosen
for a very special assignment
Not by the department,
but by a higher power
I was being sent
to save her from him
Oh...
Did I...come at a bad time?
Uh, no.
Didn't seem possible,
but she was even more beautiful
than the night I first saw her.
And I said, Good afternoon,
then she said,
I Il let you two talk
Then he said -
Not bad, huh?
There was something about him
I Just didn't like.
According to your statement,
you closed the bar at one-thirty.
You didn't call
to report the shooting
until three-fifty-eight.
I need to know what you were doing during
that time frame.
Haven't we already
gone over all this stuff, man?
Hey, uh, Jewel, how about
crackin' me open a brew, huh?
I don't know, it was, uh,
I had to count all that money,
It was a busy-ass night, awright?
I think on this night
we had those frat boys in there,
and a couple of 'em -
Whoa, whoa - whaddya doin'?
This guy's a cop.
He can't drink,
he's on the Job!
Why don't ya do somethin',
y'know, make yourself useful.
All right.
I'll be outside -
was hing the car.
Yeah, you do that.
Man, I'm sorry about her.
How can I not
question our Creator
for putting this...
...human obscenity
into the presence
of such a...
...divine creature.
Anyway, that was the night
we had all these frat boys in
and they're
taking "the plunge."
A couple of 'em
ended upin the bathroom
and barfin' up
all over the floor...
I wasn't listening
to a word he was saying
I could only
think about her
I felt so guilty,
like I was betraying
the memory of Theresa
but I couldn t
take my eyes off her
# Well I think it's time #
# To get ready #
# To realize
Just what I have found #
# I have been only half #
# Of what I am #
# It's all clear to me now #
# My heart is on fire #
# My soul's like
a wheel that's turning #
# My love is alive #
# My love is alive #
# Yeah yeah yeah #
# Whoo! ##
Can you imagine
how i felt?
You should see
what she does with my hose.
I don't know what
would make me
invite him over
for barbecue.
You did say
you were going to.
Hmm?
Yeah, but -
I say a lot of things.
Why do you
think you did?
I don't know.
You tell me.
The woman?
Carl:
You know, he brings her
and shes wearing
this nothing of a dress,
its a slip!
I mean, you can see everything
For a barbecue.
No, no, wait a second,
what am I thinking? Hot pants.
They re like
cupping everything,
and-and this top-
You could definitely
see her stomach
Wait! No, no no -
sorry, it was a dress.
It was a dress, like a,
like a summer kind of
farmer girl dress, you know?
With like, cherries and plums and -
- Okay.
- little fruits.
Shes walking
and shes bouncing
and the grapes
and the melons,
and they're Just
ba-boom, ba-boom -
That's fine,
thank you.
She's so sexy,
but pretty!
- Okay, all right!
- No!
All right!
That's enough!
I get the picture!
Let's Just go on with the story.
So then -
In any case,
the reason I called you was
you're one guy I can trust
in a situation like this.
I got a guy with a hole
in the back of his head
where the exit wound was...
# Oh were you Just
pleased to see me #
# As you all know #
# You better take care #
# Treat me with respect #
# Because love is rare #
# As you all know #
# You better beware #
# Treat me with respect... ##
Um, would anybody care
for another burger?
I'll have a hot dog.
If you have one.
And then she grabs me
and she says,
Lets get together sometime
So she was
coming on to you?
Yeah.
It doesn't surprise me, really.
It doesn't.
No, 'cause -
I mean, I don't mean
to sound full of myself, but...
But what?
You're irresistible?
Women...
women find me attractive.
Do you think
I'm attracted to you?
Well, you're a doctor,
so I think you have
that professional reserve.
But even so,
I think I felt something
when I walked in the office.
It's okay, don't worry about it.
You don't wanna
hear about all this.
No, no, no -
go on, go on.
You got the car,
you're feelin' good
about yourself again,
and boom!
The sex picks up
again, right?
Well, not exactly.
I was watchin a lot of cable
- Randy!
Randy.
Can we talk?
Sure.
What did you do all day?
I'm watchin' this
Norwegian movie again,
Maria Marushka
It's really good.
Randy.. I think
not having a Job
is starting to get to you.
No. It's not having any money
that's starting to get to me.
Well, that is why
I think we need to talk.
With what they pay me
at the store
we can barely cover our bills,
not to mention
the new dinette set I want,
or the window treatments
I want in this room.
Well, I'm sorry,
there's not much more I can do.
I mean, nobody
seems to be hiring.
That's why I went
to McCool's today
and spoke to
your old boss, Joey.
What!
You didn't go down there
and-and beg him
to give me my Job back!
Of course I didn't!
Good.
But I am going to
The Moody Blues with him.
- What?
- Tomorrow night.
He seems to think
they're the Second Coming,
but they're really
not my cupof tea.
Wait a minute!
Why are you doing this?
I'm doing this for us
as a couple, Randy.
And more importantly,
I'm doing this for you
and your sense
of self-worth.
Huh?
I think that you have
a lot of anger towards Joey,
and that because of that,
you feel less of a man
because of his power
to take away your livelihood.
You think i'm gonna
have less anger
and feel like more of a man
if you start dating this guy?!
No.
I'm suggesting
that tomorrow night
when you know
he's at the concert,
you go to his house
and you steal
everything of value
you can fit into our car.
You're Joking.
No.
I mean, come on,
the guy fired you.
And he still owes you
six hours overtime, right?
I Just don't think he knows
what he had with you.
You're so wonderful,
You're the best bartender
I've ever seen, by far.
You know, the way
you worked those crowds,
you really had 'em
in the palm of your hand.
You know what
you reminded me of?
What?
A rock star.
Really?
Really.
I don't know...
I Just...
I don't see myself
doing something like that.
It's crazy.
Once we fence
all his stuff,
we'll make a pretty nice
chunk of change.
Look, forget it!
There's no way.
Absolutely not.
But you did it,
of course.
Yeah, I did it.
I knew Joey would have
A big CD collection
And I was surprised at all
the other cool stuff he had
You know,
Jewel must have taken
a few more psychology courses
than me,
because as crazy as I thought
the whole idea was,
as reluctant as I was
to do it,
by the end of the evening,
I felt great
I still wonder how
she talked me into it.
Here's a wild guess.
Yeah.
That probably had
somethin' to do with it.
# I got money in my pocket #
# I've got lovin' in the air #
# There is nothin'
that will stopme #
# And I really
Just don't care #
# I Just want to
live my life #
# That's the way
it's gonna be #
# And nothin's
gonna pull me down #
# 'Cause you know
that I believe #
# The sun's gonna shine #
# Shine #
# It's gotta be love
from the very start #
# It's gotta be love
from the very start... ##
Jewel?
The Indian stays.
I wasn't gonna
throw him away.
Randy:
For a while there,
we almost seemed
like a normal couple
Burmeister:
You re slammin it night and day,
poppin' your cork
like a bartender at a mob wedding,
then one day, like it always happens,
all that good nookie turns sour on ya.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
Oh, nothing. Trash.
Ah-ah-ah.
Randy, come on,
we have to throw
some things away.
But not my
Sno-Globes, come on!
Can't we Just compromise
and throw one Sno-Globe away?
Jewel, these
came from my mom.
See this one here?
She brought it back
from Chicago.
See, it's got
the Sears Tower here,
and this one here
is very special.
Ya see, my mom
used to say that
this was our house,
and as long as
I never broke it,
we'd always have
a place to stay.
I knew
s he was only Joking, but still...
You're a sick puppy, man.
So what kind of Job
do you have at this point?
I hadn't got one yet.
It was sort of
an ongoing problem between us.
I-29, I-2-9.
I was offered
the lunch shift at TGl-Friday's...
You lucky stiff.
I actually thought
it was kind of a stepdown
from unemployment,
I mean...
No, you got it,
you won - I-29.
Oh yeah.
Um..
Uh, bingo.
We have a winner!
I gotta be honest
with you, my young friend.
I'm leaning towards
the girl on this one,
I mean, she's made your dump
nice and livable,
you're gettin'
good action on the mattress...
Bingo person:
Hold onto it till you cash out.
Least you could do
is make some money.
Maybe you should be
playin' bingo.
That's why...
we decided
to do another...
you know, break-in.
What do you mean, "we"?
Yeah, Jewel and me,
I mean, I'm no criminal.
I bet he's got a DVD.
I'd love to
have one of those.
Whoa.
We're going to Montague's,
so I borrowed something
from the designer section
at the store.
I Just think
you might have overshot,
I mean,
even for Montague's.
Really?
Yeah.
You know...
...maybe we shouldn't
be doing this.
The burglary?
- Yeah.
- Oh, Randy!
Joey's is one thing,
but this is something else.
Would you be happier
if we weren't?
Sure, wouldn't you?
I'll show you
what makes me happy.
These are all
pictures from magazines,
things I've saved.
Things that I want
in my house someday.
I've been carrying this thing
around with me for years.
Whenever I feel lonely
or get depressed,
I Just add in a new couch
or a new set of drapes and...
I don't know, Just dream.
It makes me happy
to think that someday
I might actually
live in the kind of house
that looks like
it belongs in a magazine.
You want me to be happy,
don't you, Randy?
Of course I do.
Burmeister:
So who was it this time?
Randy:
Just some guy -
God knows how they met
They were going to some
fancy restaurant, Montagues
Jewel was sure
she could keephim there
for at least three hours
It was a good thing, too,
because it was gonna
take a little time
to clean this guy out -
he had everything
At first I couldn't find
his DVD player,
and I really needed to,
since Jewel wanted one
So I went upstairs,
and there it was
DVD!
Bingo!
Him again?!
You gotta be careful
when you say "bingo" in here.
Bingo lady:
Not to worry, that was a false alarm.
Sorry.
It was like some game show
where they send you
on a shopping spree
I found a nice new Rolex -
much nicer than
my old Swatch.
Unfortunately,
this guy was I guess a midget
And then things
started goin wrong
What's this?
This is the place
where it all happens, baby.
Come on.
Mi casa,
es su casa
Greg! I thought we were
going out somewhere!
Why go out, baby?
We got it all right here!
Best sound system
you ever heard,
a little hot tub,
swimming pool...
The Gregster might even
break out his secret stash
of blow.
Uh, Greg...
Uh, I thought, uh...
Why don't we
Just drive for a little longer,
this car makes me so hot!
I'll leave the front door open
if you wanna follow me, okay?
Jewel:
Greg?
Score!
Oh, shit!
Greg?
Greg?
Greg!
Randy!
I had a feeling
you'd find your way.
This is a nice house.
Too bad you're
such a shit.
Heh!
Greg:
A little dirty-talker.
Okay, okay,
come on, let's talk.
Why don't we go downstairs
and have a drink?
I have a better idea, baby.
Let's talk after.
Bitch!
Come on, baby,
come on!
Get off me!
Ha ha!
Bitch.
You like it a little rough, huh?
Oh, yeah, you wanna play?
We'll play rough.
We'll play very -
Ungh!
Oh, my God,
I don't believe this.
What is it with you?
Everywhere you go,
there's a dead guy.
Take the DVD.
Take the DVD!
I'm not takin' the DVD.
Why not?
Well, I don't know,
it Just does n't seem right.
It was all right before?
Before there wasn't
a dead guy Iyin' on the floor.
Y'know, I never
saw a dead person till i met you.
The guy was
trying to rape me,
does that mean
anything to you?
Now take the DVD!
I'm not takin' the DVD!
Don't you want to live
in the type of house
that has a first-rate
home entertainment center,
including a DVD?
I already got
his big-screen.
I don't see the difference
between taking his big-screen
or taking his DVD -
I want that DVD.
'Cause the big-screen
is already down in the car.
Jewel:
I get all dressed up,
I get a friggin' shiner,
I don't get dinner,
and I don't get the DVD -
Randy:
I didn't care about the TV,
I was Just doin this
to make Jewel happy
But you didn't
take the DVD.
A local attorney
was found slain this morning...
Jewel: I do not believe we were
in that gazillion-dollar house
and we didn't end up
with a thing.
Did you forget
about the dead guy on the floor?
No, I did not forget about
the dead guy on the floor,
but we're not
talking about him right now,
we're talking about the dead guy
on the floor's stuff,
and he had a lot of stuff,
stuff we could have taken
if you weren't such a chickens hit.
What's that?
So now
I'm a chicken shit, is that it?
Yes, I believe that's
the technical term for what you are.
Yeah, well,
I'd rather be a chicken shit
than whatever
the hell is it that you are.
I'm the woman
living with the chicken shit.
Not for long.
Yeah, not for long,
that's right,
because I need a real man,
someone I can count on,
not a chicken shit like you.
Ah, good, company.
Thus far, police have no leads...
It's that cop!
Aren't you glad we don't have
a lot of stolen stuff
Iyin' around now?
You're a genius.
- Hi.
- Morning.
Thought you'd wanna know
we closed the investigation
on the shooting at McCool's,
no charges will be filed.
We're gonna let you slide
on the unregistered gun
'cause it was self-defense.
Thanks.
Everything okay, ma'am?
Yeah. Sure.
Those are some
pretty nasty bruises.
Huh?
Oh yeah, she -
had an accident.
Accident?
Would you mind if I
talk to her for a minute?
Sure.
Alone?
Okay.
At the time, I was glad
Jewel was gonna talk to him
She knew how to
handle the cops,
what to say
to get rid of em
She was good that way
Whatever happened in there,
she doesn't want
to talk about it.
That's 'cause
nothing happened.
What we do in these
domestic violence situations
is ask you to
vacate the premises.
What domestic violence?!
I will go to a Judge who will
issue a restraining order
which means you are not
allowed on this property -
This is my house!
Or within 100 yards of your wife
until this matter is settled.
She's not my wife!
That's too bad -
you'd have more rights if she were.
You expect me to
Just walk away?
If you don't, I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to arrest you.
You can't be serious!
This- this-
can't I Just talk to her?
I don't think that would
be wise at this time, sir.
Whatever she told you,
she's- she-
It's not true,
y'know, okay?
Hey, Jewel, honey,
could you come out here, please?
I could still book you
on the unregistered gun.
Hun!
Jewel!
Would you be kind enough
to tell the police officer
that I didn't hit you!
Would you please
tell the officer
that I didn't
do anything to you?
Don't make me
use force, sir.
Jewel!
Jewel!
Randy:
I couldn't believe it
I was so pissed at her
I thought I was gonna explode
Well, I gotta admit,
she's not perfect.
Not perfect?!
Charlie:
She's like this pure, delicate flower,
I Just wanted
to protect her.
- But, uh, she was
living with another man.
- That piece of slime?
he didn't deserve her.
And you did?
I don't know.
Oh, Charlie.
I was totally
cons umed by her.
My every thought
was of her.
I was walkin' around in a haze.
People talked to me,
but I didn't hear
what they were saying
Cop:
Gregory Potter Spradling.
A lawyer at
Ragsdale, Hersch & Klein.
- What did he do?
"Do"?
For a living.
Lawyer. Ragsdale,
Hersch & Klein.
- It doesn't
make sense.
Why would you go
to all the trouble
of stealing a big-screen TV
and leave a DVD behind?
Poor guy
The only thing
goin through my head
was her
Everything okay, ma'am?
Yeah. Sure.
Those are some
pretty nasty bruises.
Would you mind if I
spoke to her for a minute?
Knock yourself out.
Charlie, what is it?
Why would God fill me
with this desire
If I wasn't
meant to be with her?
Sometimes some time apart
is the best thing.
I could arrange that.
Would I get to
stay in the house?
A temporary
restraining order
would keephim way
for...90 days.
But permanently?
You'd have to get a lawyer.
Do you know one?
Yeah. I know one.
She called you?
Yes- I didn't call her.
She tells me things
are going badly with Randy,
so I thought
maybe I could helpher out
and introduce her to
one of the guys in my office.
In fact, I did, I once introduced her
to this other attorney,
Greg, who's this...
...guy who was murdered.
Anyway, she Just knew
that Karen and I were having problems.
Were you?
Yes, you could say that.
Sexual problems?
Hey, you know...
Okay, if you want
to label it, yeah.
But I'm not saying
it's Karen's fault.
Was it your fault?
Maybe it was
Karen's fault.
Was there sex between
you and this woman?
Yes.
You want it now,
lawyer boy?
- Yes! Yes, please!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
What happened there?
Wh-why'd we stop?
What?
I need to ask you
for a favor.
Anything at all -
anything!
Um-hmm, um-hmm.
I'm gonna need
some legal advice soon.
You got it!
You got it.
You aren't Just saying that?
- You got it.
You want this?
You like it?
Can you helpme?
Anything!
- Say it!
I will give you
legal advice.
Say it!
- I will give you legal advice!
- Say...it!
I'm saying, I will give you
legal advice.
Yeah?
- Whooah!
- She whipped you?
- Yes.
With a whip?
- Yes.
And you en Joyed it?
Yes.
Charlie
I spent so much time
going by her house,
ifyou didn't know
my intentions were pure
you d think I was stalking her
Hello.
Hi.
I looked for any excuse
to go see her
I spoke to
a friend of mine
about helping you
with keeping the house.
Oh, good. Thanks.
I, uh, I Just
wish I had known
a bit sooner.
See, I already sort of contacted
this other lawyer.
Well, if you'd
rather use him -
It's Just that I'm not sure if I can
get my retainer back.
Well, lawyers-
They'll always try to
find a way to screw you.
Yeah.
Well, I-I better -
I, uh -
- Yeah?
I was making
some supper...
If you'd like to...
It's nothing special.
Surely this was
the hand of God.
How do you mean, Charlie?
In an instant I was transformed
from a broken man, made whole.
It was like Theresa
had been brought back to me
She even looked like Theresa -
The way she moved,
The way she smiled
# Her skin is like velvet #
# Her face cut from stone #
# Her eyes when
she's smiling... #
Can I helpyou with that?
- No thanks.
I'll be right back.
She even made linguini
with tomatoes and onions
like Theresa used to
Linguini with
tomatoes and onions.
Jeez.
What's that?
Oh - Nothing.
Probably Just a cat
got into the garbage.
Bread?
- Thanks.
How come you never
wear a uniform?
I'm a detective.
Sometimes I do,
it depends.
I bet you look
real good in it.
I couldn't wipe
the goofy smile off my face
I was so happy
Because of her
I lost my Job,
I lost my house,
I'm an accessory
in not only one, but two murders.
- Shh!
Randy:
I couldn't stopthinking about her
Okay, maybe I wasn t
allowed on the property,
but that didn't mean I couldn t
keepan eye on her
And then
she did something
that sent me over the edge
I knew I had to
do something
something drastic
to salvage
what little I had left
I got the ten thousand.
Bingo parlor, right?
Burmeister:
Yeah.
The code is,
I say, "lt looks like we might
get some rain"...
We came upwith a code.
I said, "Looks like
we might get some rain"-
Yeah, yeah,
I know this part.
Yeah, right.
You slept with
Randy's girlfriend?!
I mean, it's not like
I never did anything for him.
He called and he
needed ten grand,
so I advised him for free,
I advised him
how he could borrow
against that old crappy house
his mom left him.
You're missing the point.
How did you feel after you slept
with your cousin's girlfriend?
He's not even a cousin, really,
He's my uncle's wife's brother's kid.
So he's not a blood relative
or anything.
Did she ever call
and ask for legal advice?
No. No. I keepwaiting.
It's like she's teasing me.
I'm dying to give her legal advice.
I Just seem to be thinking
about her more and more
Woman:
Excuse me.
There's a police detective
here to see you about Greg.
Sure.
Thanks.
- Sorry about the mess,
I'm in the middle
of changing offices.
How well did you know
Greg Spradling?
Uh, not that well,
we worked here for
the last four or five years.
You were both upfor the same promotion,
weren't you?
No, not -
Not really.
Greg was a good guy -
No disrespect for the dead -
Not really partner material.
So no matter who
I'm talking to,
she's Just -
she's on my mind.
Can you think of anything
that might be useful to us
in our investigation?
Sounds to me like he
picked upsome rough trade.
Who knows what happened?
There could have been...
...leather.
There could have been
some bondage...
Maybe those spiky things...
Maybe some whipping.
Could have been pretty kinky.
But we all know
what that's like, right?
No sir, I don't.
That's how much
she messed me up.
I mean, I'm being
investigated for a murder,
and all I can
think about is her.
And the whip?
- Yes.
There was another reason
I went to see her that day.
Something had come up
at work
The shoeprints we found
on Winfield road
turned out to be
Converse All-Stars,
the same brand
the boyfriend wore
And if he was there,
there was a chance
she might have been
I had the same sick feeling
in my stomach
that I had when I was
waiting for The results
to come back from the lab
at the hospital
Unfortunately, her print did
match one at the murder site
That scum,
that boyfriend of hers
There's no telling
what he forced her to do
before I came along -
I wasn't going to let her
get dragged into
a murder investigation
I knew she had
nothing to do with it
There's something
I have to ask you.
Is it an inside question
or an outside question?
There was a burglary last week
on Winfield Road.
A man was killed.
- Was she able
to convince you
that she didn't have anything
to do with it?
She was very convincing
It was a miracle!
# The way you move #
# Your sexy body #
# It makes we want
to get to know you #
# A little bit better. #
Sex?!
Oh -
There was sex?
God helpme,
It was wonderful.
No, for me to helpyou,
I- I need to
hear everything.
See, you have to
tell me all about
the-the-various acts
of physical congress between -
- I already told you that.
Okay, no, that's fine,
I'm not- it doesn't-
I shouldn't
have done that.
It's okay,
I wanted to.
Are you going to
arrest Randy?
I've got a warrant
out for him now.
That car he's driving
is stolen.
Add a murder charge to that
and you won't see him for a long time.
So I'll get to keepthe house.
This...
This is all I have left.
How not perfect
can one woman be?
Aces in the boink department.
Got yourself
a snazzy new watch.
Like this is supposed
to make everything better?
But you gotta admit,
that's a beaut.
Here's the money,
Just take it.
Take it. Take it!
- Shh!
Kid - easy, easy.
Would the owner of
a blue Geo Metro
Missouri license plates
87KP03 please report
to the front desk.
Is that my car?
You got any idea
what they want?
No.
Is there any possibility
that she might have -
Stolen?
- Yeah.
Bingo lady:
I want to remind everyone
that Saturday is "Hawaiian night."
She gave me a stolen car.
Women are much more complicated
than we think they are.
C'mon, let's
get out of here.
Announcer:
We'll get back to the game
as soon as the troopers
finish their business.
Cop:
Sir, is this your car?
Burmeister:
That piece of shit?
Officer, what do
I look like?
You know,
to tell you the truth,
she doesn't sound worse
than most of 'em.
- But you'll
do it, right?
Business is business.
# A wanted man in Mississippi #
# A wanted man in old Cheyenne #
# Wherever you might look tonight #
# You might see this wanted man ##
What do you think?
Oh, what do I think?
Oh, the flesh is weak...
But ours is a forgiving God.
But I destroyed evidence
I withheld information
for a murder investigation
- Charlie, look -
You deserve some happiness.
The kind of happiness that a...
...a good woman can bring a man.
Oh...
Yes, I have this great Job
and this great office
and this great family
and this great house -
How does this
make you feel?
Empty.
I feel nothing.
And who knows,
it happened so fast.
I mean, here's this guy
in my office -
- what is he,
thirty-five years old -
and he goes like that.
I could walk out
of your office
and get hit by a truck.
I don't want to live like that anymore.
Let me Just feel something, anything,
and then I will look up
and I will say,
"Thank you, God.
Thank you for that gift."
And...then if the truck
wants to get me, then okay.
And then I meet this woman.
She makes me feel...
Thank you.
Oh...
I'm sorry.
- Have you acted on your desire
to see this woman again?
Do you think I should?
Time's up.
What?
Sorry, time's up.
What, are you kidding me?
Are you Joking?
- Your time's up.
Do you think I should see her?
Just tell me that!
# A wanted man in California #
# A wanted man in Buffalo #
# A wanted man
in Kansas City... #
So this is it, huh?
Could be Boise or Boston.
Point is, she ain't
anywhere around.
Check in, you get yourself known.
Go out, talk to the clerks in stores,
waitresses, the works.
You got a calling card?
- Yeah.
Make some long distance calls.
Anything to prove you've
been here for a couple of days.
Awright?
- Gotcha.
Not so fast, Slick.
Now I'll take the money.
Oh, yeah.
There it is.
Ten thousand dollars.
You're not gonna count it?
Nah.
You trust me?
No. But I do kill people.
Right.
I'll be callin' by seven.
You think I'm a bad person?
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
Would you like to
try our new fragrance?
Good after -
- No thanks.
Hi sir. Would you like
to try our new fragrance?
No thanks.
Yeah?
Hey buddy, It's me, Randy.
- Hey, I was Just talkin'
to somebody about you.
What, uh, what's up?
- Not a whole hell of a lot.
I'm Just here in Collinsville.
Jewel and I needed a little time
away from each other.
Oh...
So, uh, so she didn't go with you?
- No, man.
So she's- She's home,
she's all by herself now?
Jewel and I had a little bit of a tiff.
Good. Spend a coupla days away
and let things cool off.
And you know what?
Thing's will work out fine.
Do you really think so?
- Absolutely!
Okay.
Stay there! Okay.
Are you all alone?
Are you heartbroken?
Did something happen
to the romance?
Did things get out of hand,
and now you're afraid
they've gone too far?
Are you about to lose
that someone special forever?
If you are one of the
97 out of 100 men
who surveys tell us
suffer deepemotional pains,
then I am talking to you!
Don't lose that someone -
Act now!
We have psychics trained
and standing by
to helpyou through this difficult period.
Don't lose that special someone!
Pick upthe phone
and bring the Jewel back into your life!
Tomorrow may be too late...
Call EPS now!
Don't waste another minute!
Man:
Hey! What are you doing!?
Garbage man:
Hey!
Come on!
Carl: # When love comes
rollin' upyour way #
# Open up
and let that breeze blow #
# 'Cause today's
your lucky day #
No, I don't want
to talk to the kids.
Can you Just tell them?
Don't-don't put them on.
You don't have to -
Hi, Sweetie!
Um, ah, no.
Daddy's not gonna be home.
What do you mean?
Well, how did the dog get out?
Well, where's his leash?
Okay, Daddy's gotta -
Daddy's gotta go.
- Dad, don't -
Okay, Sweetheart.
Cosmetic department, please.
Cosmetic department!
Bye.
you can't Just
barge into somebody's house!
Keepyour hands up, Scummo.
You are in big trouble.
You need a search warrant.
I happen to be an attorney.
I Just made partner
at the second-largest
law firm in the state.
That's where
I've seen you before.
You need
a search warrant.
This is my
girlfriend's house!
Bullshit! This is
Randy Weltzer's house.
He happens to be
my cousin.
He's your cousin?
- Yes.
And as his attorney,
I can assure you
that he will be
filing a suit against you
and the entire
St. Louis Police Department.
Well, I guess it'll be
right after he stands trial
for the murder of your former associate
Gregory Spradling.
Wh-what?!
Are you crazy?
Mister, you better take a good long
look in the mirror
before you call
somebody else crazy.
Get your clothes on.
I'm takin' you in.
Okay, um, for what?
For murder.
You and Spradling were in competition
for the same position.
So you and your...
...gay incestuous lover
killed him.
What?! No-
First of all, I am not gay.
Interesting choice of wardrobe, then.
I'm married, with two kids.
Ha ha!
I'm so not gay,
I'm here to fuck
my cousin's girlfriend.
I oughta shoot you
right now.
He's not really my cousin,
he's my uncle's wife's
brother's kid.
That's enough!
- Come on, hey!
Freeze!
Freeze!
You're making
a very big mistake.
You better watch it, buddy,
I am an attorney!
Get down!
You're making
a very serious mistake!
Shut up!
- Ungh!
Un! You're
in big trouble!
Carl:
Okay, here she is.
She'll clear up
this whole thing.
What are you
doing here?!
Uh, Carl...
What's goin' on?
It's not what
it looks like.
Why are you
wearing that?
Like you don't know.
Hey, I'm not the one
who's got him
bent over the table.
This is official
police business.
Carl, what are you
doing here?!
Where is Jewel?
It was Just that one time
with me and Jewel, I swear.
What do you mean,
one time?
You're Iyin'.
She never let you touch her.
Yeah, not like you,
her "boyfriend."
Do you believe that?
He calls himself Jewel's boyfriend!
I'm warning you.
Where is she?!
I was expecting her
here any minute!
Why do you think I'm dressed like this,
for Halloween?
You're dressed like that
because your perverted cousin -
Wait a minute.
We gotta find her!
You are violating a restraining order
and are under arrest!
You don't understand.
Someone is coming here
to kill her!
Him?
Huh?
No.
Which one of you homos
killed my brother?
I'm not gay -
Shut up!
I understand the man
that killed my brother, Utah,
he lives here.
And I'm not leaving
'till I kill him.
Now, which one of you was it?
I said, which one of you
was it!?
I- I-I'm an attorney.
I'm sure you and your brother
were very close - that's good.
Avenging his death,
wanting to avenge his death,
that's admirable,
who doesn't understand that?
But as a lawyer...
What the hell?
Jewel:
You want to explain to me
what you're doing
looking through
the window of my house?
Give me your gun.
I lost my dog, uh -
he came off his leash.
And you need
a.357 for that?
Well, it's
a rough neighborhood...
... Jewel.
You should know that.
Look at these guys.
Carl:
Legally, you're swimming
against the current here,
but you've got
think about the fact
that if you kill
all three of us,
you will be adding here,
and I'm Just guessing,
a second and possibly
third strike
to your record.
Which would be
heading you
to some very serious prison time.
You I'll kill
Just for annoying me.
Now, I would appreciate
if the man that
killed my brother Utah
would stepforward
and take responsibility
for their actions,
or I will have
no other choice
than to kill all you daN...
...Village People!
Now...somebody
better damnwell
start talkin'!
Aaah!
Aah!
Lord, please don't let them
find me in this outfit!
Aaahh!
I'm really gonna
miss that little house.
Yeah, I know
what you mean.
When I'm on the road
a few days
I really
miss my place.
You have a house?
Oh, yeah -
I'm a real homebody.
Nothin' I like better than stayin' home
on a quiet night
watchin' a good movie on my DVD.
You have a DVD?
If you're gonna have a first-rate
home entertainment center,
you gotta have a DVD.
Not that my place doesn't need
some fixin' up.
Hell, I was even thinking
about putting in a fountain.
Yeah.
Thank you, God!
# Y. M.C.A. #
# You can get yourself clean, #
# You can have a good meal, #
# You can do
whatever you feel #
# Young man #
# Are you listenin' to me? #
# I said, young man, #
# What do you want to be? #
# I said, young man #
# You can make real
your dreams #
# But you've got to #
# Know this one thing: #
# No man does it
all by himself... ##
# She likes the attention #
# Not to mention
how the boys line up#
# She can't stop
turnin' it on #
# And on and on
and on and on #
# She likes the attention #
# Not to mention
how the boys line up#
# And she can't stop
turnin' it on #
# And on and on
And on and on #
# She could always
see through my hand, #
# Never was a fool
for my master plan #
# And though
I grew tired of the games #
# I would wait around
for my luck to change #
# Does she not make my heart
beat a little faster? #
# Doesn't she move me
like a natural disaster? #
# She likes the attention #
# Not to mention
how the boys line up#
# And she can't stop
turnin' it on #
# And on and on
and on and on #
# She likes the attention #
# Not to mention
how the boys line up#
# And she can't stop
turnin' it on #
# And on and on
and on and on #
# She was always
leading me on #
# And I would hang around
till the break of dawn #
# Though I always
fell for the bait #
# I was Just a pawn
to manipulate #
# Does she not make my heart
beat a little faster? #
# Doesn't she move me
like a natural disaster? #
# She likes the attention #
# Not to mention
how the boys line up#
# She can't stop
turnin' it on #
# And on and on
and on and on #
# She likes the attention #
# Not to mention
how the boys line up#
# She can't stop
turnin' it on #
# And on and on
and on and on #
# She likes the attention #
# Not to mention
how the boys line up#
# She can't stop
turnin' it on #
# And on and on
and on and on. #
# She likes the attention #
# Not to menton
how the boys line up#
# And she can't stop
turnin' it on #
# And on and on
and on and on #
# Turnin' it on #
# Turnin' it on #
# And on and on #
# Turnin' it on #
# Turnin' it on
and on and on... ##