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One Percent More Humid (2017)
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Hey! I'm like the anti-Gandhi. Yeah. So, what are we gonna do with ourselves this summer, Madam Iris? Write a musical. Take it on the road. - Run for mayor. My platform is "child labor." - Oh. - Why not? - You're so refreshingly candid. We have an entire summer. We can do whatever. Quality time. My goal is to heal. Mmm, wait, wait. I want to light my cigarette. Mmm. To our health. To our health. Uh... Swiss. Okay. So, you work here? I'm an unpaid intern. Uh, you were in my Af-Am Poets, right? Yeah. What are you doing on campus? - I live here. - Ansbury? - No way. - Yeah. I'm a townie. I'm at Admissions. We should hang out. Iris, right? Sweet. Jason? Cody? Wyatt? Alex. - Alex. - Alex. - Here you go. - Thanks. Mmm. - Hi. - Hi. Uh... Do you have any pimento loaf? No. Is it icy? It looks nippily. I don't know, Catherine, I haven't been in yet. Iris, there comes a time in every young woman's life where she retires her disposable razor, and starts to wax. I'll give you my lady, her number. I'm on a budget. It's amazing! Caramel-flavored liquor. I feel like this changes a person, forever. Yeah. Mmm. I feel like Brixner is absolutely a great school, but I could never stay here for college. Well, Iris is still functioning at a high level and she lives here year-round. Yeah, but Iris is of hearty stock, though. I'm more neurotic. I need New York. Suburbs do rot your brain. That's kind of what my thesis is about. Cultural values in the suburbs. Basically, I contend that with the absence of community institutions, like Little League and church, children are allowed to develop their own morality. Like, for instance, let's say, grow up in a family... - Ready? - Mmm? - Okay, hello. - Oh. All right, hey, you there? - All right, let's go. - Oh, shit. Hold... Guys? Wait. Uh, I'll drive? - Let's walk. - Okay. You know what would be truly amazing, is if it would just be 1% more humid, and then we would all drown! This is exactly like high school. It's fucking, creepy, time-warp shit. Only you would be wearing a fleece. And Mae would be talking about how she hates everyone. Oh, and she'd be asking, "Where's the keg?" What would Catherine be doing? This. This is Catherine right here. Different hair. I know. - Man, this is devil shit. It's crazy. - Mmm. I steeped the vodka in weed. - Keg ahoy! - Oh, shit. Fuck you. Yeah, it's good. So... Oh, shit. Okay, let's do it. Do it. Sorry. I'm sorry. Hey. Thanks. I wanna go home. - What? - Really? But why? You're completely, inappropriately sober. Have a beer at least. It'll be fun. I can't get Billy out of my head. I... He hates us. He will, he truly will, for the rest of his life, so either you obsess over something you can't change or you just accept it and move on. It's only been four months, Catherine. I still wake up thinking she's here. Then you have a serious problem. - Hey, Jack. - Yo. Can you drive Catherine home later? Yeah, with aplomb, sure. Thanks. Later. Okay. Yeah, no shit. You're the worst. Teaching American literature is not fucked. When are you coming up? You want to teach poetry, not a requirement class. You've been there for three years. It's your time. I just don't know why you're not furious. When are you coming up? I found a place in Woodstock that does wood-fired pizzas in an orchard. We have Jerry's opening this weekend. Oh, no, I can't. I'm on a new health kick where I'm cutting back on suicidal feelings. All right, I'll tell him you're upstate on a writing retreat. Which I am. Oh. My drinks are here. Get up here, lady. Okay, bye. Bye. Yeah? - Hi. - Hi. Here, contraband. Don't tell. It was thusly their relationship began with a seemingly harmless secret. So, you're ahead of the game. - What game is that? - Thesis. Most of my students don't start till the fall. Well, I'm here and I'm working at Neon, so it'd be nice to be thinking about something whilst I'm... Robotically pushing a child on a swing? Using the meat slicer. Oh, those things are scary. So, what are you thinking? Right now? Yeah, with regard to your thesis. I want to write a series of poems about grief. That's great. Um, I should tell you that the creative thesis is a beast. Have you considered researching the history of grief poetry? I think that you should do that, not only for your own edification, but also because the review committee really eats it up with a fork and a spoon. "Who is the third who walks always beside you? "When I count, there are always you and I together "But when I look ahead up the white road "There is always another one walking beside you "Gliding wrapt in a brown mantle, hooded "I do not know whether a man or a woman "But who is that on the other side of you? "What is that sound high in the air?" T.S. Eliot's The Waste Land. He loses his goddamn mind in that poem. Yeah, I should go forth and learn about all of that. Yeah, I think if you do that, that this could be a really important project, and I sure as hell would like to help you out. - Okay. - Cool. So... Yeah, so whenever you want to start. I'll email you. - Thank you, Professor McCann. - Yeah, no problem, anytime. So, Iris, drinking alone? You could've called a brother. Oh, this is stupid. If I had a brain, I know this would be ill-advised. It's the only cure. I've got four older brothers, trust me. I'm an asshole. Ugh! Oh, yeah! We're high! It's coming up! You guys want tomatoes or lettuce? You guys notice this guy over here just having a snack... Whoa! You should come back for dinner! Hello! Does anybody even work here? Oh, we've gotta go. Oh, fuck! Fuck! Let's go! Shit. That's for you, sir. Hi, Iris. Professor McCann, hi. Um, how's the Forest? Uh, the Forest is better than you would think. Um, I mean, it doesn't look great, but it's what is inside that makes it hot. What, it's spicy? What? No. Um... Hey, Iris. You remember that thing that we were just talking about? Yeah. Yes, I, um... Mmm-hmm. - Yeah. What do you think about that? - I... I... You know, um... Yeah, 'cause that's not what you just said before. What? I'm sorry. I'm embarrassed. Hey, what are you making me? I don't know. What do you want? First, turkey. Oh, yeah. Um... Wait, wait. I take that back. I don't want you anywhere near that industrial slicing machine. Oh, shit. Yes! Are you sure we're going to the right place? Yes, it's this way. No, I'm serious, Mae. Look at me. Come on. Look at this! Whoo! Come on, Catherine! Isn't it beautiful? Iris. It is I. Adviser of the thesis. Does this happen to you frequently? It's happened before, yeah. You should see a doctor. Um... You can sleep here on the couch. Or I can drive you home. Or I can call you a cab. I'm upstairs. So you can... You know, whatever, whatever you decide. Um... I'll be right back. Okay, just a little bit. Okay. So, why are you home for the summer instead of doing one of those feed-the-homeless internships? I don't wanna talk. What's wrong? Are you okay? Sorry, it's a loud door. I'm here this summer because I was in a car accident in March. I'm here to be with my friend, Catherine. She was the one driving. Our best friend Mae, she was killed in the crash. She was in the passenger seat. I don't know how to live like this. I don't know... I can't get my head around it, and I can't accept it. It just makes no sense. Mmm. It doesn't. I'm here because I thought I could tell you. You can. Hey! - Can I just get some cheese? - What? You want bread with that? Yeah, only if I can get it in between the cheese. I'd like to invert the typical roles of sandwich ingredients, thereby casting a spotlight on the stagnancy which has come to characterize the American lunch. Yeah, we have that. It's called the Tool. Sweet. Awesome. Hey, so guess what? This evening, I'm gonna have a special screening of Silent Night, Deadly Night. Oh. Hey, Santa's a psychosexual killer. - Tuna on white. - Huh? Thank you. That guy your boyfriend? No, he's my roommate. - Hi. - Hey. Uh, I'd like a roast beef on white with tomato and mayo. Hi, Iris. Hi, Gerald. Here you go, lover. Enjoy. I can't come up. What? Why? No, no, no. I told you about that memoir I bought, from the Navajo girl? Remember, the pageant on the reservation? Yeah, I was literally one hour away from the first pre-release, and I find out she's an Orange County Korean, headed to Penn. Wow. Teenage girls are fucking batshit. Well, can't you just make it fiction? That's so disgusting. That's what I'm doing tonight, rewriting all the press releases, blah, blah, blah. How's your writing going? What, you want a word count? I should go. I have a long night ahead of me. Bye. Bye. Don't. I'll call you tomorrow morning. Don't stay out too late. And if their lawyer calls, you do not talk to him, okay? I mean it. Catherine, this is serious. You know what? Maybe we shouldn't go. What? No. Oh, my God, Dad, go. It's... I won't talk to anyone. I'll be with Mae. Iris. I'll be fine. Jesus. - Hi. - Hi, Jack. How are you? Uh, good. Good, good. Good. Have you seen Iris? Uh, Iris? Yeah, she just left. She went to have dinner at her thesis advisor's. Dinner? Oh. Well, you know, she was wearing a very small skirt, and she took a really long shower. Oh? Was it a suede skirt? Uh-huh. You know that's her "fuck me" skirt? Interesting. Yeah. Um... Is that your boyfriend? Well, that's Che Guevara. And I'm not gay. And if I were, it wouldn't be with a man in a beret. Nice. Uh... Sorry, uh, what are you doing now? I don't know. Um, it's nice seeing you. See you. Hang on! - Hey. - Hi. - How you doing? - Good. - Come on in. - How are you? - I'm good. - Yeah? Sorry it's so hot in here. I'm sweating like a pig. Um, ice cream. You're a gentleman. I mean, I get it for free, in the sense I just steal it from work. I hope you believe as I do that, as Americans, we're obliged to consume mass amounts of unusable carbohydrates that numb our brains and make us better television watchers, 'cause I'm making pasta. Mmm. Food of my people. You look Irish. I also look innocent. What can I get you? - Can I have a vodka soda? - Sure. And can I order something, a drink for someone? Absolutely. The guy with the blue hat. - Whatever he drinks. - Okay. Thanks. - Yo, Billy. - Yeah? Just take it. All right, look, you need to leave. Can I just talk to you? I don't even want to publish another book, you know. I mean, nobody needs some white guy with poor vision and an Ivy League degree getting all the luck. Some kid in a rundown mobile home might not have a chance. I can't let that happen. So I'm just gonna stagnate. I loved your books. Yeah, thanks. No, no, no, I'm okay. So, you like the Polish poets? - Is that what your work is like? - Yes. The intersection of poetic lyricism and existential darkness? Yes. What are you doing? Mmm, no. Yeah, good idea. Good idea. Good idea. How old are you? Forty. I'll be right back. - Okay. - Okay? Okay, just a sec. A-ha! Found you. Hi. Hi. Hey. Beauty. Can I just say this? I don't... I wish it were me instead of Mae. I... I can't sleep without dreaming of her. I don't deserve to be here. I wish I... I wish I could've swung the car around so it were me instead of her. You know I wasn't drunk. I wasn't high. It just happened. It was just a bad turn. Hey, you know, my parents... My sister is gone. - I know. - All right? There's no fucking changing it for them. You have your whole life to get over this. - I swear to God I won't... - Now get fuck away from me, Catherine. Get the fuck away from me! Stop. Stop. Stop. Come on. Hey. Hello. Hi. - Iris. - What? I just like you. I like you, too. Okay? It feels good. You have to be quiet. Hey. I have to tell you something, I... I just... I can't keep it from you. You can tell me. I mean, you've been MIA, so I know something's up. I'm seeing my thesis advisor. Seeing him? I slept with him. I'm sleeping with him. He's married. He's married? I mean, I know it's wrong. It's wrong and it's bad, and it's all of those things but... It doesn't seem it. It's shocking because it's just not you at all. I know. How was it? It was unbelievable. I mean, it is unbelievable. It's amazing. Maybe his wife's a bitch. I just want the best for you. You know? I know, inevitably, you're going to get hurt here. I'm already hurt. It can't get worse. I gotta shower. I'm going over to his place later. What's your plan? I thought we were hanging out. - I'm sorry. - No, it's fine. It's gonna be our summer? You and Professor Feely McGrabby? And me and me? No. No. - So, were you in the hospital? - What? After the accident. Sorry, that was abrupt. Oh. Uh... It's okay. Uh, I had to have stitches, yeah. And, um, Catherine... They had her on suicide watch for, like, a week. She tried to slit her wrists. She was just, like, clawing at herself. So they had her sedated through the funeral. And she, uh, severed a tendon in her calf in the accident. So, how's she doing now? I don't know. She in therapy? No, she says she doesn't need it. How about you? I've been feeling better lately. Hi. Oh, you're so hard. You know, that's just like a throwaway line, but when you say it, I know why it's a classic. Oh, my God. Oh. Oh! Babe, wait! You're gonna make me come. Fuck! Jesus. That's another classic. - Shh, shh. - I won't shh. Are you like this with all the boys? I was a virgin. Yeah, I can tell. I'm actually not like this at all. - This way. - Wait. - What? - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. What? What is that? Oh, please with the grabbing. I thought you said you're not doing it anymore. I'm not. - No, I'm not. - Guys! - To the pond. - Yes. - It's gonna be beautiful! - I know... Mmm, you have man hands. - That's what I ordered. - Hmm. Hey, you want to meet my dad? I'm having lunch with him on campus tomorrow. I thought I could bring him by. "Father, you remember how I told you "that I'm not a little girl anymore?" He's a nice guy. I'm not your boyfriend. A, it's been two weeks. B, I'm not your boyfriend. C, I'm a dirty, old man. And, D, my wife's coming up. She's gonna be here all weekend. She comes up every weekend. Except the last three because of work. Fun. It's gonna be fun for all of us. Just a minute! Iris. I'm so fucked! There's this tool from Brown who's had my book from interlibrary loan for three weeks. I think he's dead in his thesis carrel, the book under his decaying ass, and I'll never get it back. Glad to see you. As heard. Gerald's wife is coming up this weekend. I'm an asshole. You're an asshole. It's only been, like, two weeks, but still. How long has he been married? We don't talk about it. It's not funny, Catherine. Let's just smoke weed all weekend. Okay. Do you have any? No, but I'm sure Jack does. I haven't spoken to him in, like, a week. Been staying at Professor FuckBuddy's. You look really skinny. Like, coke-skinny or meth? Those are my two choices? Boo! Just get me some weed. I need to get my grub on. Why don't you just come in? It's gorgeous! No, I can't swim in this. Fuck if I care. Take it off. Do you care what I've been up to at all while you've been sleeping with Professor Von Slurpy? Yeah. What? Professional escort work. I had a G-spot orgasm from being on top. Nice. Did you pee? Just now? No. When you came, hello? You know, sometimes women, when they ejaculate, they think it's urine, but it's really not. It's just love potion. I don't know. I mean, I get, like, really wet, but it's not like a burst or anything. Oh, my God, you're, like, all sexed up. - It's insane. It's like you're possessed. - Hmm. Possessed by Mae. One of us has gotta be the slut, right? Well, you're in lurve, so it's not actually slutty. Is it good with Professor Von Slurpy? Yeah. Good. Come on, get in. No, I'm just gonna warm my soul. Ah, you're never coming in. - Yo! - Hey. How was your sleep? - Fine. - Yeah? - Yeah. - I have the paper. Oh! Look at all these tag sales. Let's go. Look what I've got. Really? Like, right here, right now? Car pass. I don't want... Come on, Iris. 'Cause I'm missing more than just your body. They eat the whole thing. Shit. Henry? Wait, who'd you kiss? Yeah, that was, like, my first spot for make-out. Well, my first kiss. Oh, my God, so you're talking, like, peck on the cheek. I'm getting so high. Perfect. God, Iris, come here. No. Oh, my God. I'm so sexually confused. - How much for this record? - 20. - Too much, it's like... - 15? Deal. This belongs to us now. This would make me throb. 20th century Psoriasis... Sounds like something my dad would say. It's got a distinct aroma. Iris, this is my grandma, 1970s. It's fucking freaky. - Can you hear me? - Yeah. That's Von Slurpy. What? Yeah, and missus. - Oh, my God. He's old. - Let's go. Hey. Iris, hey. - Hi. - Hey. - Hi. Good. - How are you? Uh, Lisette, this is Iris. She's one of my students. I'm advising her on her thesis. - Catherine. Hi. - Hi. Hey, nice to meet you. They, uh, grew up in Ansbury, just right near here. Oh! Just such a wonderful place to grow up. It's so beautiful. Yeah, it is. Gerald's a really great professor. You know, he's also a really good bowler. Uh... Stop. Where... I was looking for one of those toasters that pop up, you know. Really? Yeah, you know, the timer things. I just gonna go look over here and see if one's there. - Good to see you guys. - Bye. Wow. I'm, like, really thirsty right now. Yeah, me, too. I know, it's hot as balls. Gerald was saying something about the smog layer preventing the heat from escaping. That's fucked up. I'm dying to check out her linens. A box over there. It's nice to meet you guys. Nice to meet you. I have to go over there. This is a hideously small town. Mmm. - You want a blowjob in the barn? - That's not funny. It's a little funny. Hey, Gerald! - Hey, Catherine, we should go! - Otherwise, we're gonna be... - Yeah, we're gonna be late for church! - Yeah. Bye. Nice to meet you. - Bye. - See you. - That was insane. - I'm insane. Fuck, our record. Come on. Let's go. I feel dirty and naughty. In a bad way. Our relationship lives in a dark closet. It's like a poison mushroom. I'm sorry. Why can't we go out around here? In a non-touchy way? Are you 21? Yeah. Shit! Hey, are you in line? Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm going. What? Wait! Iris! - No. No. - Stop. Stop. - What are you doing with him? - I don't know. Why would you be with someone that hates you? It's fucked up! And you're so happy with me? You make it worse! - Why would you say that? - Hey, what are you doing? I'm doing exactly what you're doing, Iris. Not knowing what the fuck I'm doing! - Okay. - Mmm-hmm. At least I know it's not love. Are you all right? What's going on? Let's just go. I told him I love him. - What? What? - What? What did he say? It was so fucking beautiful. He said, "I love you" back and it's so insane. Don't worry. I love you, too. Hey, we need to get out of the car, guys. Where's Mae? We got blood everywhere. Come on. We have to go. Come on. - No. - Come on, come on. We have to go, come on. Come on. Come on. I thought you were... I got you. I've got you, I've got you. Come on. Come on. Stop. Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I was just driving. It was nothing. I just flicked the cigarette out my window, and it just got away from me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Mmm. I'm sorry. Hey, hey. It's Sunday, we don't have to be talking on the phone. Hello. It's the lawyer, Dan. Are you cold? What? Are you cold? No. Iris! Shit! Shit. Shit. Iris? Jesus, Catherine! They're filing a civil suit. Mae's parents. They're suing me for wrongful death. Can they do that? Yeah. Hey, Lon, do you have Harvey Faulkner's cell phone? One of my students is in legal trouble and I wanted her to talk to him as soon as possible. Can you give me a call? All right. My lawyer is fine. He has a certain... They can't prove you did anything wrong. - I didn't. - No, you didn't. They say Catherine recently confessed to averting her eyes from the road to toss a cigarette out the window, and that after that she lost control of the car. That moment, hands leaving the wheel, that constitutes a failure to pay attention to the road. That's negligence. Jesus, Catherine! You told someone that? Billy! Billy, please open up. You wanna talk about it? There's nothing to talk about. What do you mean? Isn't this why we're here? So you can be out of the city, and watch the bra-less coeds skip across the lawn and feel the stirrings of youth again. And if it isn't working, I just wonder if there's something else going on. There's nothing going on. I am writing. How's the Navajo project? What was the upshot with Cy? He said it needed revisions. It wasn't extreme enough for fiction. - Oh, no. - No, he was right. That's insane. I really thought that the pivot that you made was totally brilliant. So, wait, you are writing? Yeah. - So... - Wow. Can I read it? No. Why do you need to read it? Because I like your work? No, you don't. I don't like your work? I love your work. No, you don't. You don't believe I have anything to say. Anyway, that's not the reason why you can't read it. You can't read it 'cause it's too new. It's too fragile. "Fragile." Like a Faberge egg fragile? Yeah. There's ice cream places open. Watch Movies and Series Free! I can't. You want me to go out? I'll get some and come back. Okay. - Yeah? - Yeah. Just stay. You just got here. You can't even stay the night? Since we're starting at 9:00, I don't want to get up at 6:00 and drive for three hours. What, you can't say, "I'd give you Saturday, "but you'll never take my Sundays"? The summer isn't really going as planned. No. I gotta go. Hey. Drive carefully. Billy! Hey. - One second. - What are you doing? Why would you make it seem like she confessed something to you? She didn't. You took it out of context. - Iris. - No, it's not fair. You know... Taking money from her parents is not going to make this hurt less. It's not going to make it any better. - Yeah, it will. Yeah, it will. - No, it won't! - It won't. - Hey. One sec, Pa. Hey, you know, we still have to, like, wake up every day and go to work like we're normal. No one expects you to be normal. You think I can just, like, sit at home and cry all day? Iris, wake up. - It won't make it right. - Oh, it's never going to be right, Iris. I'm not an idiot. I need to talk to her. Don't you think she needs to talk to someone? You girls should not be talking until after the trial. Goodbye. You're incredible. These are wonderful. I think... I'm not what you need. I think I know more about what I need than you do. I love you. Do you know what this is? I don't. This is the moment right before everything falls apart. I love you, but that doesn't matter. It's not Catherine's fault that Mae died, but that doesn't matter. This is how it works. Everything falls apart. And you just have to keep walking and try not to fall down. - For as long as possible. - Mmm-hmm. Don't say that. That's not it. I should go. You should be inside me and never leave. Whatever. I have hash and it's the Little League final of Newburgh! Are you ready to weep... Sorry. Professor McCann? - Hi. - Hi. Um, I should get going. Thank you. What are you doing? I have brown nipples. You left that poem about that stoned toddler... You left it in a drawer. What are you doing? How do you mean? I don't know. What I'm doing. You know it's not about you. I hope you understand it's not about you, Gerald McCann. For her. Tell me you understand that on some level. She's experiencing a crisis based on actual life and death, and you give her your dick as a present? Did you think it had magical healing powers? It doesn't. Shit. Shit. Shit. You used to be original. I know. I fucking know. Uh, she found a poem that I wrote about you. Oh... And she came up last night. - What did she... - She went back to the city. Can I read it? Yeah. So, I'm going to take this next semester to go up to Maine. My parents are moving out of our old house and they wanted my help, so... And I need to regroup. 'Cause of me? Because of me. I'd do it again in a second. I mean, not if it made it worse for you. I really hope I didn't make it worse for you. Look, it's preposterous for me to be offering you any kind of life advice, clearly. Clearly. But I know this. And this is a kind of prescription. Okay, and it works. Um, these people wrote their way out of where you are now. They came here first. They figured it out. Um... So, Frost, Yeats, Dylan Thomas. Everything. Adam Zagajewski, "Praise the mutilated world." Dickinson, "I measure every grief I meet with narrow, probing eyes. "I wonder if it weighs like mine, or has an easier size." Anyway, there's lots of others. You can hang onto that. And then, um... Send me what you write. And I'll do the same. Okay? Okay. They waited on the side of the road for emergency services. They did not have phones, and they couldn't walk due to their injuries, so they just waited. We know they waited for over an hour. Catherine, could you hand me the eggs? Catherine, will you hand me some eggs, please? Jesus! Fuck! Jesus. What the fuck? I don't even know my own strength. Ha! Yeah, it's fucking hilarious. Stay there. Why do you look like misery? When there's so much to be happy about? It's over with Gerald. His wife found out. Did she walk in on you? No. But she knows it's me. Are you in love with him? I don't know. I couldn't... I couldn't even touch her. She was already gone, Catherine. I should have been with her. I should have... I should have stayed. I'm so sorry about your love. Where are you going? Just wanted to say that we should go out tomorrow. Don't leave. It's the night before my Judgment Day. Let's live while we can. Catherine. Fuck off! What the fuck? The only true compass to the morass of American life is to trust your own personal set of ethics. He doesn't want to see you. - Hey. - What? Bartender wants you. Stop! Yeah? We need for you and your friend to leave. Why? We didn't do anything wrong. Why? Because I have obligations to certain customers here, that's why. Oh, obligations? Okay. Nope. No. Billy? Listen, man. Uh-uh. Let me just speak to Billy for a second! Hey, what's going on? They want us to leave. Billy has told them to make us leave. - And that's not okay. - No. - Let's just leave, that's fine. - No. - Whoa, Iris, come on. - No. Iris, get down! - No, come on! Iris! Iris! - Get off my bar. Billy, look at me! Iris, get down! Fucking look at me! - Fuck you! - Iris, hey, stop! Why aren't we just allowed to be here? Everyone else is allowed to be here! Explain it to me! Please! Please tell me why! I... It's not fucking fair! Let go of her! - Get off! - Off my bar! You're hurting me! Fucking hurt... Ow! Are you okay, Iris? Yeah. We can take it slowly. - I'm okay. - We're almost there. Wow, it's really warm. Hey. Hey. I just... Um... I... I miss you, Mae. The world isn't the same without you. You'll be happy to know that my parents said that if we lose, they'll have to pay the settlement and I'll have to get a job. Hopefully it involves some polyester brand uniform. If you have any say in it, it'll involve horizontal stripes and the previous employee's body odor. Amen. I'm so sorry. I love you so much. We love you so much. |
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