1
Hatch! Mr. Hatch!
Oh, yes, sir, Mr. Crest?
Mr. Savory wants to see you.
Mr. Savory?
Ooh, boy.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Crest.
You will be.
Now, come on. Get going.
- Yes, sir.
- Don't keep Mr. Savory waiting.
- No, sir, I--
- He wants you to do
- some special work in the art gallery.
- Yes, sir.
Well, I'll just be a minute.
I'll get this right done right now.
There we are.
Excuse me, I--
Hatch, get a move on!
There we are. Now, see?
It's all finished now, Mr. Crest.
- Ow!
- Oh! I'm awfully sorry.
- Did I hurt you?
- Get going, Mr. Hatch.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Eddie! Eddie?
Oh, hi, Gloria.
I was just up to the model home exhibit.
They have the darlingest kitchen.
All electric.
Push a button and you can cook
without knowing how to cook.
No. Well, I'll see you later, honey.
Where are you going?
I'm going up to the Fine Arts Department.
Mr. Savory wants me to do
a special background
- on some new artwork.
- Mr. Savory?
Oh, gee, Eddie, did he pick you to do it?
Well, it's special work, Gloria.
Not everybody can do it.
Oh, Eddie, if you make
a good impression on Mr. Savory,
why, he might give you a raise
or a better job, and then--
Uh, yeah.
Well, let's talk about it
some other time, shall we?
Oh, Eddie. You do want
to get married, don't you?
Oh, of course, Gloria.
Of course. But--
I-I'll see you later.
- Oh, Mr. Hatch?
- Yes, sir?
Oh. Hello, Joe.
Hello, Eddie.
Say, Gloria was just up here.
- Did you meet her on the way down?
- Yeah, I saw her.
Hey, come on in and take a look
at the model home.
Gloria was crazy about it.
Oh, well, she would be.
She's practically in her
wedding veil every minute.
One false move from me,
and I'm going to be on my honeymoon.
Aw, Gloria's a wonderful girl, Eddie.
Oh, well, I know she is,
but she's so terribly one-track-minded.
Why, even when we have dinner together,
the only thing she ever eats is rice.
Holy mackerel, it's closing time.
Look, Joe, I'm going to
have to work late tonight,
so will you pick up Gloria for me
and take her to Tony's?
- Sure, I will.
- All right.
And I'll get there as soon as I can.
- Oh, and save me some spumoni.
- Sure.
Closing time, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm sorry.
You've been after this Venus statue
a long time, haven't you, Mr. Savory?
Ever since I opened
the art gallery here in the store,
it's been my dream to add
the Anatolian Venus to my collection.
What did this dream set you back?
Well, let's put it this way:
the store will not declare
a dividend this year.
Please! Must we talk dollars and cents
about this priceless piece?
The last "priceless" on it was 200,000.
- 200,000?
- Wow!
Did you get someone to fix those drapes?
Yes. Eddie Hatch.
He'll be here any minute.
He's a good boy.
He's been with us for eight years.
There he is.
Is the statue for sale, Mr. Savory?
- Hello, Eddie.
- Hello, Miss Grant.
Mr. Savory sent for me.
Must be pretty important.
Yes, he wants you to fix the drapes
in front of the statue.
It jams when you pull the cord.
- You fix, huh?
- Is that all?
Well, that's all for now, Eddie.
- Hurry it up, will you?
- Yes, Miss Grant.
- Good boy.
- Oh, Miss Grant.
- May I have one, please?
- Oh, certainly.
Oh, wait a minute.
The good side.
To Venus, the goddess of love.
May she stay on the job
and take care of all of us.
- To Venus.
- To Venus.
Whitfield, darling!
Hello, Barbara.
What is all this about a certain
most eligible bachelor
falling in love with a statue?
Perhaps, my dear,
she reminds me of you.
Yeah. They both have large pedestals.
Whitfield. You remember
my daughter Brenda?
Not little Brenda?
You've, um, grown, Brenda.
Hatch is waiting, chief.
He finished the drapes.
Oh, excuse me.
Whitfield hasn't seen Brenda
since she was a child.
He used to bounce her on his knee.
Well, bully for Brenda.
I've been his secretary for 10 years
and I haven't made it yet.
Pardon me.
Now, we'll see if it works easily.
You see? It jams there.
Yes, sir.
I don't know what could
have happened to it, I--
I want that material to go up smoothly
so that the statue
will be revealed dramatically.
- Yes, sir.
- Now, use your head, Hatch.
I don't want to have to fumble with that rope
like a fool in front of all my friends.
No, sir. I'll take care of it, sir.
Hurry up.
Yes, sir.
Oh, Mr. Savory.
You forgot your--
Golly, you're beautiful.
Please! How can I fix this
if you don't stand still?
I'm all right. I'm all right.
Just a little overworked,
maybe, but I'm all right.
You're moving!
Was it you who kissed me?
You're talking! You're alive!
Well, of course I'm alive.
What did you think I was?
Well, I'm not very bright,
I... thought you were a statue.
Excuse um-- Brandy!
Smelling salts!
Spirits of ammonia!
Poor mortal. Are you frightened?
Frightened?
I don't know the meaning of the word.
Why, you darling.
You are frightened.
Well, just from the toes up.
Come here.
Come here to me.
Close to me.
Oh, he's wonderful.
Thank you, Jupiter.
There, that's better.
What? How did I get out here?
I brought you out. Fresh air.
Oh, thanks.
I guess I fainted, didn't I?
I-- I was working on the draperies
around the statue,
and all of a sudden
I had the strangest feeling,
some kind of a delirium.
I dreamed that the statue came to life.
It spoke to me.
- Isn't that silly?
- How do you feel now?
Oh, I feel much better, thank you.
Just rest.
There, isn't that nice?
Oh, that's wonderful.
Oh, I--
Excuse me, but I...
get back to my dr--
It was you! The statue!
- Well, of course.
- You came to life!
Now, don't ask a lot of questions.
You'll only get confused.
Get confused?
I'm spinning like a merry-go-round.
Look--
Look, let's get this straight.
Just a few minutes ago,
you were cold marble.
Yes, you were!
I could feel you!
Please!
And now you're--
And now?
Don't come near me.
I'll scream.
Oh, aren't you ashamed?
A big boy like you
scared to death of a girl.
Yeah, but you're not a girl.
You're a statue.
Are you a betting man?
Well... you were a statue.
Oh, look, I don't understand any of this.
Who are you?
I am Venus, daughter of Jupiter,
goddess of love.
Oh, I'm very glad to know you.
My name is Hatch,
Eddie Hatch, Display De--
- Goddess of what?
- Love.
The word seems to displease you.
Oh, no, Your Majesty, it's just that--
Call me Venus.
Venus.
Could I go now?
You don't want to stay here with me
in the moonlight... alone?
Well, if you won't think
it's impertinent, frankly, no.
See, uh-- Excuse me.
It's just that some friends of mine
are waiting for me for dinner.
The little Italian place, Tony's.
They might be worried about me.
Sounds charming.
I will go with you.
Oh, no, no.
You wouldn't like it.
They don't cater very much to goddesses.
Well, see you around.
...Venus who started the Trojan War
with "I love you."
Some of you may recall the myth
that Jupiter once breathed life
into the chiseled perfection
of this masterpiece.
But in the 20th century,
that's not worthwhile discussing.
In fact, the beauty of face and form
which I'm about to reveal is such
that the 20th century
would seem a little unworthy.
Oh, what a nice man.
Yeah. That's Mr. Savory.
He's my boss.
He owns the store.
As some of you may know...
There isn't gonna be any statue there!
- That's right.
- You're the statue!
Yeah, but what about Mr. Savory?
He left me in charge!
He's gonna think I'm responsible!
But no words of mine can do justice
to what I want you now to behold.
My good friends, lovers of art,
the matchless Anatolian Venus.
Well, you're just full of surprises.
It's gone! My statue, it's not here!
- This isn't a gag?
- Gag? It's been stolen!
- Hatch! Hatch!
- That's me.
Where's that idiot window trimmer!
Don't be afraid.
You're above mere mortals
like this department store owner.
You're now under the protection
of the Olympian gods.
Yeah? Well, supposing he fires me.
What are you gonna do?
Make a patron saint
of the window trimmers?
They'll hear you.
Mr. Savory's timing is a little off today.
The cart before the horse, so to speak.
He kills me!
I'll let you know
when the horse gets back.
- We'll have another unveiling.
- Molly!
I'm sorry you made this trip for nothing.
Molly!
Coming, sire.
- Bye, Shirley.
- Good-bye.
Call the Kerrigan Detective Agency.
- Tell them I want their best men.
- All right.
- No! Mr. Kerrigan personally!
- It shall be done.
Years of work, endless patient search,
fabulous expense, and then just gone.
Do you want me to advertise
a reward for Eddie Hatch, too?
Not for him.
Just for his head on a pikestaff.
Now, be reasonable, chief.
You don't think Eddie walked out of here
with that statue under his arm, do you?
When I left him there, there was
a great work of art on that pedestal.
I hold him responsible.
Hallelujah.
Well, that's that.
Oh, you think so?
Didn't you hear Mr. Savory?
He holds me responsible.
What if he takes the price
of the statue out of my pay?
$200,000, and I make $43.75 a week?
Why, that's-- Let's see, that's--
87 years.
The twinkling of an eye.
Besides, I shall wait a hundred,
a thousand if necessary.
Oh, no, you won't.
You've got me into enough trouble.
The only thing you can do for me
is to get back up on your pedestal
and leave me alone.
You do not want me?
You're turning me away?
Very well. Go.
Go to your friends.
Oh, I will!
But what about you?
You can't stay out here on the balcony.
You'll freeze in that...
in what you're wearing.
I'll be all right.
Why don't you go inside and get up
on your nice warm pedestal--
I'll stay here.
Well... all right.
If that's what you want.
Good night.
Say, Gloria, Eddie may be a long time.
You better eat something.
Oh, I can't, I'm too nervous.
I just can't wait to find out
what's happened.
You know, I bet Mr. Savory
put Eddie in charge
of window dressing in the entire store.
Eddie has wonderful ideas
about dressing windows.
He didn't get his diploma
from correspondence school for nothing.
Eddie's a pretty smart fellow, all right.
You know, Joe, you ought
to be a success, too.
You work hard.
Someday Mr. Savory will notice you,
and you'll get a promotion, too.
But remember: stay in there pitching,
and you'll get ahead.
I don't know, Gloria.
You do want to be a success, don't you?
Yeah, but...
Hey, Eddie. Over here.
What happened?
We thought you'd gotten
lost or something.
- How was the unveiling?
- Oh, it was awful.
The statue disappeared.
I mean, Mr. Savory thinks it disappeared.
But you didn't have
anything to do with it, did you?
Who, me?
What's wrong, Eddie?
What's my name?
Come on, tell me!
What's my name?
Eddie Hatch.
Oh, that's right.
Eddie Hatch.
My name is Eddie Hatch.
I work in the Display Department
at Savory's Department Store.
You see? I know my name
and I know where I work.
I'm sane!
I'm as sane as anybody!
Well, of you course you're sane, Eddie.
Naturally you're sane.
Isn't he, Gloria?
I don't know.
What's all this about a statue?
And what happened to it?
And how did you get mixed up in it?
I don't know, Gloria.
I mean, I'm not sure.
Anyway, Mr. Savory holds me responsible.
I heard him say so.
But how did it disappear?
Yeah, a statue just doesn't get up
and walk away, Eddie.
That's right.
That's ridiculous.
I've got nothing to worry about.
I'm in good shape.
Eddie!
You're in great shape.
Your name Hatch?
That's me. Why?
Gotta ask you a lot of questions, Hatch.
- Come on.
- Say, what's all this?
- Police.
- Where are you taking him?
- What's he done?
- Taking him back to the store.
Mr. Savory wants to see him
about a little $200,000 statue
that climbed down and walked away.
That's right!
How did you know?
Aw, come on!
See you later, Gloria.
- See you later, Joe.
- So long, Eddie.
Come here to me.
Come close to me.
Okay, okay, go on.
But I've already done it a hundred times.
Go on! Go on!
Show me from the start.
Oh, for heaven's sakes.
I was here.
Show me again.
How can I fix this
if you don't stand still?
Then all of a sudden I was down here.
You're talking! You're alive!
Of course I'm alive.
Then I was here.
He's still sticking to that story.
He'll crack.
I've dealt with these
clever shoplifters before.
Pretty clever.
He pretended a thousand-pound statue
was an elk's tooth and just wore it out.
- I know he had help.
- Probably a couple of elks.
Oh, very funny.
But I've got one of his accomplices
lined up right now.
But this guy had access to the store.
- He's the ringleader.
- Oh, lay off!
Hatch couldn't be leader
in Ring Around the Rosie.
I'm paying Kerrigan
to be the detective, Molly.
Well, buy him some badge polish
and send him home.
Anyone can tell this boy isn't a thief.
Come on, Eddie.
I'll catch you a couple of flies
and you can pull their wings off.
Now you go on home and get some rest.
Come here to me.
Come close to me.
Take it easy, Eddie.
I might take you up on that later.
He's plenty smart,
but I'll keep my eye on him.
Pulse is okay.
Let's see now.
Temperature's normal.
See, Eddie? You're all right.
Don't pay any attention
to that crooked thermometer!
I must have a fever!
Oh, nonsense.
You're just upset.
With that Savory and that
dopey detective and--
Oh, I'm so sick!
Look-- Look, Eddie,
I'll run a bath for you.
We'll got to Tony's and get Eddie
some nourishing soup.
Minestrone, your favorite.
You didn't have any dinner.
Oh, yeah.
I must be weak from hunger.
We'll be right back.
Come on, Gloria.
Don't-- Don't let the water run over.
You're-- You're talking.
You're alive.
Come to me.
Come close to me.
Oh, no!
What are you doing here?
You can't come in! Please!
Why not?
Well, because my girl's coming right back!
She's very jealous, you know?
She's like a wildcat when she gets angry.
She's 8 feet tall,
and she's got very sharp fingernails.
Silly boy.
What can she do to me?
Well, I don't know,
but she can do plenty to me!
Please go away.
You sound henpecked.
Poor boy.
I'll bet she runs your life
like an assembly line.
And how. Why, even--
Nothing of the sort!
She's sweet!
She's a very nice girl!
Well, I'm a very nice girl.
Oh, please, please, be reasonable,
Miss-- Miss Venus.
I'm not worth bothering about.
I'm not famous. I'm not rich.
I'm not even very bright.
I'm not bright!
In fact, there's insanity in my family,
starting with me tonight!
I'm crazy!
You-- You must have me mixed up
with somebody else.
I'm just a little old good-for-nothing
window trimmer.
You can be anything you want to be.
Can I be alone?
I'll leave, if you'll go with me.
Oh, no.
No, please go away.
My-- My landlady, you know,
she wouldn't understand.
She's-- She's got a rule.
Against me?
No! About girls being with boys.
Why, there's even a law against it!
Is this your landlady?
Oh, no, no, no!
Hello?
Hello, Gloria.
I was just talking about you.
That is... to myself.
I had quite a little chat.
Me and-- and me.
He's talking to himself.
That's bad.
Look, darling, keep calm.
Listen, they're all out of minestrone.
You could have either noodle or spinach.
Noodle or spinach?
- Noodle.
- Spinach.
- Noodle!
- Spinach!
- Noodle!
- Don't bother me!
Who's bothering you?
I'm only trying to help!
What?
What do you mean?
I'd be glad to leave you alone!
- Gloria.
- I heard a woman!
- Not in our room!
- Well, it wasn't the zoo!
Wait a minute.
Wait till I get the package.
Come on, I've had enough of this.
Who-- Who is it?
It's me. I want to come in.
It's my landlady. This way.
Over here.
Oh, that's no good!
Over here!
Mr. Hatch! Mr. Hatch!
One moment, Mrs. Gogarty.
Mr. Hatch!
Open up this very instant!
Coming, Mrs. Gogarty, coming!
Miss Venus? Miss--
Where are you?
Here I am.
She'll never find me here.
Not in here! Quick!
Get out, please!
Hurry! Get behind the screen!
I'm coming in, Mr. Hatch!
Oh, of course,
Mrs. Gogarty, of course!
You've got a woman in this room.
Why, Mrs. Gogarty, what an idea!
Whatever the idea, you know the rules.
You've got to both get out!
What's behind that screen?
Dirty dishes.
Kindly remove it.
Oh, Mrs. Gogarty,
I had to give her a square meal.
I said to myself, "Well, Mrs. Gogarty,
with her kind heart--"
There. You see?
There's nobody here.
Oh, Mrs. Gogarty, there's nothing
in there but a sink and a tub
and things like that.
So you take them, too!
- What?
- I adore bubble baths.
I take them all the time,
especially those ones
with the lovely jasmine smell.
Odor of Pine Tar.
- My husband uses that.
- He does?
Sorry to disturb you, Mr. Hatch,
but you know one can't be
too careful these days.
No, no. Well, good night, Mrs. Gogarty.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Love that smell.
- Yes. Good night.
Miss Venus!
Your Majesty!
- Miss Venus!
- Here I am! Is she gone?
Oh, my gosh!
Get out of there, quick!
Oh, no! No! Wait a minute!
And get dressed in a hurry!
Open the door, Eddie Hatch!
Oh, honest, Gloria, Eddie wouldn't
do anything like that to you.
And get away with it.
Hurry! Hurry!
Come and get your soup!
It's hot!
- Hur--
- Did I help?
Yes, yes. You were wonderful.
Come on.
Eddie! Open the door!
See, Gloria?
There's no woman here.
There's no Eddie, either.
That phony!
Pretending he's sick just
to get rid of me!
Boy, wait till the next time I see him.
He won't have to pretend.
Gloria, there wouldn't be anybody
in there.
Moonlight Madness?
$40 an ounce! Smell!
- It's worth it.
- Worth it?
Now wait a minute!
Oh, Gloria.
Now take it easy.
I chase around worrying
about his health,
and he just chases around!
You don't understand.
A lot of things could've happened.
Eddie--
Quiet. You want
the watchman to hear us?
- He won't bother us.
- He certainly will.
Don't you realize I'm breaking
into the store?
I'll turn him into an owl.
- A what?
- An owl.
It's very easy.
I just go like that, and he's an owl.
Oh, come on!
Excuse me.
It's locked.
Now what am I gonna do?
Well, haven't you got any ideas?
Look, it's late.
You've got to have someplace to stay.
Don't you ever want to go to sleep?
Come on.
You see, I trust you, Eddie.
Come on.
What's wrong now?
Aren't you gonna carry me
over the threshold?
Why do you keep acting
as if we were on our honeymoon?
Oh, all right!
You stay here tonight.
You'll be nice and comfortable.
I'll get you out in the morning.
Oh, it's lovely.
Oh, well, this is the very latest thing.
Now, everything is operated
through this master control.
Now, there's the radio and the bed
and the air conditioning and the kitchen.
Show me how it works.
Well, I'll turn on the radio.
We'll have to wait a little while,
you know, for it to warm up.
The beds!
I must have pushed the wrong button.
Well, I did! It was marked "radio."
Here, we'll try this one.
Now it should work.
Oh! I--
There must be a short circuit someplace.
You know what?
It's getting late, and you better
be getting some sleep.
But I'm wide awake.
Oh, no, you're not.
You're sleepy.
You're-- You're very sleepy.
Close your eyes.
You want to sleep.
Sleep. Sleep.
That's no good.
I'm hypnotizing myself.
Oh, Eddie, you're so cute.
I'm not cute.
Why, I'm a beast!
I'm terrible when you get to know me.
Ask Gloria.
No, no, no, don't ask Gloria.
Oh, why are you messing up my life?
I was a dependable,
respectable citizen until tonight.
Were you having any fun?
That's all you think about is fun.
That's all right for you
flying around on Mount Olympus
or wherever you come from
without a care in the world,
but down here it's different.
We're practical and efficient.
Why, we've perfected a machine here--
What have I done?
You kissed me.
You made me do that.
That's not fair.
You tricked me.
You used some kind of a spell on me.
No, Eddie, I wouldn't do that.
You mean I wanted to?
I hope so.
Well, as I was saying, the...
There's another button here that...
turns on the automatic stove.
You can cook a whole meal
by remote control just by...
by pushing that button.
How do you fall in love?
In love?
To the music of harps and flutes?
Flutes?
So that's how you fall in love.
Speak low
When you speak love
Our summer day withers away
Too soon, too soon
Speak low
When you speak love
Our moment is swift like ships adrift
We're swept apart too soon
Speak low
Darling, speak low
Love is a spark lost in the dark
Too soon, too soon
I fear
Wherever I go
That tomorrow is near,
tomorrow is here
And always too soon
Time is so old
And love so brief
Love is pure gold
And time a thief
We're late
Darling, we're late
The curtain descends, everything ends
Too soon, too soon
I wait
Darling, I wait
Will you speak low to me?
Speak low
When you speak love
Our summer day withers away
Too soon, too soon
Speak low
When you speak love
Our moment is swift like ships adrift
We're swept apart too soon
Speak low
Darling, speak low
Love is a spark lost in the dark
Too soon, too soon
Time is so old
And love so brief
Love is pure gold
And time a thief
We're late
Darling, we're late
The curtain descends
Everything ends
Too soon, too soon
I wait
Darling, I wait
Will you speak low
Will you speak low
To me?
Sunday papers here!
Get your Sunday morning papers!
Get your Sunday papers here!
Papers!
Hello, Stammers.
Where's the great white father?
He's with the detective.
In the bedroom, miss.
He'll find plenty of clues in there.
Hi, gumshoe.
Your handcuffs are showing.
- Open up, sire.
- Come on in, Molly.
Try every school and university in Europe.
The guy I want is an old professor
named Ludavicci Fassoli.
I met him once in Prague.
He must be 90 if he's alive.
He's the author of a famous volume called
The Strange Legends and Myths
Surrounding the Anatolian Venus.
What do I care what it costs?
I want some action on this!
Right. Well, keep in touch.
Had a chat with Kerrigan.
He's been looking into Hatch's background.
How'd you sleep last night?
- Not a wink.
- I didn't think so.
At least it took your mind
off cold marble for a while.
Just what is that supposed to mean?
The little bundle tucked away
in the model home.
She should be a sensation
during January clearance sales.
What on Earth are you talking about?
I've got to hand it to you.
She's an eyeful.
You mean there's a girl downstairs?
Look, this is Molly.
Who is she?
Somebody I know?
Yeah, Goldilocks.
She ate the porridge
and now she snoozes
under the model sheets
on the model bed in the model home.
We'll see about that!
I'm not running a motel
for homeless girls.
Hey, boss, wait for me!
It's no fire, boss,
just a simple, old-fashioned eviction.
She'll still be there.
Only long enough for me
to throw her out bodily.
The idea of a woman
breaking into Savory's.
So unnecessary.
Don't you want to wake--
Molly...
That girl, she...
she reminds me of someone.
Yeah? I wish she reminded me of me.
She's the most beautiful creature
I've ever seen.
Molly, I've always been
able to count on you.
This time you must not fail me.
On your honor?
Don't wake her.
When she does get up,
her dreams must come true.
Get flowers, clothes, jewelry, everything.
Promise me?
I'll be right back.
Good morning.
Oh, hello, Joe.
- Where are you going so early?
- Out.
Hey, Eddie, what happened last night?
When Gloria and I came back,
you were gone.
Where'd you go?
Look, Joe, there's something
I got to talk to you about.
You're my best friend, aren't you?
Well, I'm not so sure, Eddie.
Well, I can trust you, can't I, Joe?
Look, Eddie...
there's something you've just got to know.
It's Gloria.
Yeah, it's Gloria.
But it was the music or something--
Yeah, the music.
It-- It did something to you.
All of a sudden, for no reason,
you found yourself kissing her.
Yeah, that's right.
But remember, it wasn't her fault.
Oh, yes, it was, Joe.
She-- She does something to you.
- She sure does.
- Oh, thanks, Joe.
You're a pal. You understand.
You won't tell Gloria
anything about it, will you?
Me? Gloria? Understand what?
About my kissing the statue.
She wouldn't understand.
Eddie, you kissed a statue?
Well, she wasn't a statue then.
Who wasn't a statue?
Venus, of course!
She was here last night.
She took a bubble bath.
You gave a statue a bubble bath?
Oh, no, Joe, she took it herself.
I didn't give it to her.
Look, Eddie, I think your fever's
coming back or something.
I've got to get back to the model home
and get her out of bed!
Look, Eddie--
Wait for me.
Don't worry about having me
come down today, Miss Grant.
I don't mind.
He'd get the sultan out of bed.
Well, I guess these rags are the gladdest.
I hope you won't get into any trouble
doing all these things for me.
He told me to give you anything you need.
From where I stand,
you don't need a thing.
You know, the funniest thing
happened to me last night.
Me, too.
I was out with someone.
Oh? Your sweetheart?
Oh, no. That's what's so funny.
He was just a friend.
But all of a sudden--
He was the right one.
I just meet the wrong ones.
I just can't figure it out.
One day you're out with someone
who isn't anybody special,
and then he makes you feel
like everybody else is...
well... nobody.
You know the way you feel
When there is autumn in the air
That's him
That's him
The way you feel when Antoine
Has finished with your hair
That's him
That's him.
You know the way you feel
When you smell fresh bread baking
The way you feel when
your aching back stops aching.
Wonderful world
Wonderful you
That's him
That's him.
That's him.
He's simple as a breeze
that blows in summer
He's natural... not actory.
He's like a plumber
when you need a plumber.
He's satisfactory
You know the way you feel at movies
When the lights grow dimmer
The way you feel when overnight
your hips grow slimmer.
Wonderful world, wonderful you
- Say!
- C'est Paris!
Say New York, Savory.
In the darkest caves and hallways
I would know him always
'Cause I would see
that he's the one for me
How could I pass by him
When I'd identify him
So easily?
Because that's he!
You know the way you feel
about the "Rhapsody In Blue"
His eyes are blue.
His eyes are brown.
His are on the town.
The way you feel about a hat
created just for you.
That's him.
That's him.
He's Christmas
He's caviar.
He's a Coke with cherry
Let's face it, girls, he's a man.
He's necessary
Wonderful world
Wonderful you
That's him
That's him
- That's him.
- That's him.
- That's that.
- Oops! No shoes.
Okay, my little quarterback,
you're still carrying the ball.
Shoe department, size 4-1/2.
4-1/2? Ridiculous.
Well, the stage is set.
I'll go get Romeo.
Hey, Eddie!
Look-- Look, Eddie,
I don't really think you're,
well, crazy or anything.
I just think you're a little overworked.
I'm gonna be all right just as soon
as I can get her out of here.
But why did you bring a girl
up here in the first place?
Oh, Joe! Don't ask me any questions.
I don't know the answers myself.
- Look, Joe, you're my pal, aren't you?
- Yeah.
Well, you stay here.
And if anybody comes, you be my lookout.
Give me a whistle or something.
- Give me a warning.
- Oh, look, Eddie--
Venus?
Your Majesty?
Venus, where are y--
This is no time for games.
Of all the dresses you gave me,
I like this one the best.
Dresses? I gave you?
You don't like it?
Of course not!
I'll be fired! Take it off!
I'm in enough trouble al--
Take it off?
- Hi, Gloria.
- Hi, Joe.
- Where are you going?
- Oh, I'm going to the model home.
Come on! You've got to--
What are you doing?
What are you--
What are you doing?
You didn't like it.
Oh! I love it!
Honest, I love it!
Just put it back on and get out!
- No!
- Hurry! Hurry!
No, no. I want to please you.
You can please me, just get out!
Here. Here, do you like this one?
Oh, I love it! It's beautiful!
It's gorgeous! Come on.
Now, get in there and get dressed
and don't come out until I call you.
Eddie, are you sure
you're gonna like this one?
Oh, I'm crazy about it!
I'm nuts about it!
You look awfully nice, Gloria.
Thanks, Joe.
You look... neat.
Yep. Real neat.
Look, Joe, do you want to...
Or do you want to talk to me?
Make up your mind.
Is that Eddie?
Eddie? Oh!
Yeah, that's Eddie.
- Eddie Hatch, you mean?
- In there with that girl?
Girl?
There's no girl in there.
Eddie's in there alone.
Eddie's working.
Yep.
Just working away.
I'll bet!
Where did she go?
Oh, hello, Gloria.
Where do who go?
Never mind her.
Where did you go?
Oh, you look wonderful today, honey.
I like your hair that way.
It's too late for compliments.
You're going to wear your hair shorter
if you don't explain
what happened to you last night.
Last night?
Oh! Last night.
Oh, you mean when I left the house
while you were out getting the soup?
What kind of soup did you get, honey?
Noodle and spinach.
I didn't want your guest
to be disappointed.
Oh, now, Gloria--
If I ever run into her,
she'll wish she had eaten plenty
of spinach!
Eddie Hatch, if you think for one minute
you're gonna make a fool of me--
Gloria, Gloria, now--
Now don't get upset.
- It's not good for you.
- Good for me?
I suppose you think
it's good to be stood up
by a two-timing,
double-crossing chiseler!
Why, for two cents, I'd hit you--
Oh, no, no!
- Gloria, that's breakable!
- Oh, so is your head!
Gloria! Gloria, please!
Everything in here is charged to me!
Let go! Let go!
I never want to see you again,
Eddie Hatch!
Why, you-- you can go
wherever you please!
Oh, Gloria!
Now wait a minute!
I didn't mean anything by--
Do whatever you want!
Oh, I hate you!
Hey, Eddie!
Eddie, give me the vase.
I think she's mad.
Hey, you're just the guy I'm looking for.
Good morning, Mr. Kerrigan.
- The strangest thing just--
- Yeah, I've got a warrant for your arrest.
Mr. Big!
I'm through with him!
Cheer up, Gloria.
You and Eddie will be making up again.
What do you wanna bet?
No more dates with him!
There are plenty of other fish in the sea!
Gloria!
Gloria, your shoe.
You know, Gloria,
if you ever need anything,
you can always count on me.
Thanks, Joe.
Well, I'll be seeing you.
When?
We'll see.
See ya.
See ya.
Say, maybe he's in the basement.
We'll give this floor the once-over.
Come on.
Well, he ain't in here. Come on.
Peek-a-boo, Hatch.
Cover the employees' entrance.
Pardon me.
We haven't met.
That is, you haven't met me,
but my name is Whitfield Savory II.
The same name as this establishment.
I am this establishment.
Did you sleep well?
Yes, beautifully, thank you.
Yes, beautifully.
And-- And the clothes?
Oh, divine.
A mere trifle.
Take the whole store.
You can even set fire to it
if it amuses you.
You are generous, Mr. Savory.
Call me Whitfield.
My car is waiting.
Shall we go?
We?
I've arranged everything.
Lunch at the Mum and Quiet Club.
Then to Montauk Point
for a candlelight dinner
at the Sand and Surf Yacht Club.
Then a moonlit ride to the Adirondacks
and breakfast at the Crop and Spur Club.
I'm sorry, but I don't think
Eddie would approve.
Eddie? What Eddie?
Eddie Hatch, of course.
Hatch?
Yes, last night, he brought me here,
and then this morning, he surprised me
with all these beautiful clothes.
Hatch. That clerk.
That $40-a-week window dresser?
Eddie!
Eddie, where have you been?
He's been trying to duck me.
I got some questions to ask you.
Look, Mr. Savory, please don't blame her.
- It's all my fault.
- Have you got the warrant?
Add these charges:
breaking into Savory's,
turning this floor into a YWCA,
and stealing clothes.
Well, look, if you'll just let her go,
I'll pay for everything.
Out of your $40 a week?
- 43.75.
- 43.75.
- Come on!
- Oh, one moment.
Whitfield, does this document
give you the right to put Eddie in jail?
It does indeed, my dear.
May I see it, please?
Don't worry about me.
Oh, it's very interesting.
What the...
I thought you were a big boy now.
Darling, come on.
Wait, wait.
I'll turn him into an owl.
But I didn't do this.
I don't even understand it.
I don't know who--
What are you doing?
Arrest that man!
Come on, get going!
Oh, no, no.
Don't, don't, don't.
Stop it, please. Stop it.
Don't stand there like a dummy.
- What's the matter with you?
- I don't know.
I just had a funny feeling, boss,
like I was gonna lay an egg.
We gotta get out of here fast.
Come on.
Wait a minute.
What am I running away for?
I haven't done anything.
I'm not a criminal.
Of course you're not.
But that-- that detective
thinks I stole the statue
and Mr. Savory accuses me
of stealing your clothes.
Gloria's mad at me
and Joe thinks I'm out of my head.
I'm gonna go to jail and lose my job
all just because--
- You kissed a statue.
- Yeah.
It was that champagne.
That's what made me do it.
Well, I'm gonna go back to them now
and tell them the whole truth.
You did, and they didn't believe you.
Oh, yeah.
Well, you could be my witness.
That's it! You could be my witness
and explain it all to them,
the paper dolls and everything.
Then Mr. Savory will believe me,
and he won't think I'm a criminal.
Perhaps I could persuade Mr. Savory.
Oh, no. One of the girls in the store
told me all about him.
Did he ask you for a date?
Now look, Your Majesty,
you are the goddess of love.
You belong up on a pedestal where people
can see you and admire you--
Lots of people, thousands of people.
You really want me to go back.
Will you?
I didn't think it was time.
There couldn't be a better time.
Gee, it sure is swell of you, Miss Venus.
I really appreciate it, too.
Now my life will be
just like it was before--
Sensible, orderly, and practical.
And I'll make up with Gloria.
Yep, just like it was before.
Well...
Will you be happy...
that is, where you're going?
We worry a lot about you mortals.
Well, what's it like, hmm?
Have you got big cities like this?
Places to go?
Movies and parks and things?
Gee. It's a shame you didn't
get to see everything.
I could at least have taken you
to the park.
I've caused you enough trouble already.
Trouble? What do you mean trouble?
Why, I guess we could go
to the park if we wanted to.
You don't really want to take me.
Of course I do.
I know my own mind.
Right now I want to take you to the park.
But I ask you, Molly,
even giving myself the worst of it,
what does this confounded
window trimmer got that I haven't got?
Well, to mention just one thing,
the girl you want.
What can he do for her?
I can offer her anything she wants,
anything that money can buy.
You did but it wasn't enough.
It just doesn't make sense.
Try to reason about love,
and you will lose your reason.
Old French proverb.
Well, I'm not through yet.
This is a challenge, Molly.
When I want something,
I get it, no matter what it costs.
Not this time, I've got a feeling.
You know, for everybody,
there's bound to be one thing,
one person that's unattainable.
Well, not for me.
Okay, lord and master.
I love your park, Eddie.
It seems more beautiful
tonight than it ever has.
If this, this is love
Why didn't somebody tell me?
Don't look now,
but my heart is showing
No matter what I say or do
Can't hide it, my heart's Romeoing
I can't stay away from you
You smile and my dreams start helloing
They spin when you come into view
In circles I may not be going
But I feel I reel with you
When mister kisses miss
No need for words to embroider
When mister kisses miss
Changing her name is in order
You smile and the stardust is blowing
We're whirling in a world that's new
Don't look now,
but your heart is showing
And it flips and halts
And turns summersaults
Darling, it wants to waltz with you
Don't ask me, but here is my answer
I think that you are magically he
Who could be a love necromancer
Necromancing is for me
Don't stop me, but I am replying
I know that you are magically she
The creature would like to be tying
- As you coo
- I do
With me
Around 'round and 'round
I'm just like a record that's playing
Repeating the same sounds
The needle must like what I'm saying
These wings that I feel I am growing
Belong to someone I never knew
Don't look now, but heaven is showing
And tonight, the sky is my sky to fly
Darling
Falling in love
Falling in love
With you
I feel as if I'd swallowed
a symphony orchestra
playing the most beautiful music
in the world.
In two worlds, darling.
Troubled, angel?
Nothing.
Tell me.
Well, what about this fellow,
the-- the one you turned into an owl?
Hipp-Hipp-Hipp--
Hippolytus?
Didn't you love him once?
Never. He bothered me.
Do I bother you?
No, dear.
Not like that.
Feathers.
What about--
What about this other one?
- This Polyph--
- Polyphones?
- Very annoying.
- What?
So annoying that I finally
had to turn him into a--
...a rock.
- You mean a boulder?
- A large one.
It's perched on the side
of Mount Olympus.
But none of them really had my love
the way you do, darling.
Oh, I'm glad if I'm different.
You are. You're the only one.
Well, then I don't care what happens.
You can turn me into a fire hydrant
or a mountain goat if you want to.
It's worth it.
This is the place, boss.
You sure he's here?
Sure. We tailed him and the dame,
and then phoned you.
Savory doubled the ante
if we nab Hatch tonight.
Come on.
Gee, I just can't believe
that this is happening to me.
You know? I...
I-- I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to say
and I don't know what to do.
I'd like to do things for you.
I'd like to take you places.
You know, like the men in the ads,
men of distinction,
you know, like Mr. Savory.
He could buy you everything.
Everything?
Let me see.
Could he buy me a bag of popcorn?
Oh, don't be silly.
Of course not.
What would you want with a bag--
Popcorn?
Do you mean it?
A great big bag.
I'll be right back.
You'll still be here
when I get back, won't you?
You won't go away?
I'll be here, Eddie.
I want the best bag of popcorn you got.
- It's all the same, bub.
- Well, it's gotta be extra special.
Yeah, this is for a walking,
talking statue.
Come to me.
Come close to me.
Grab him!
I can't come with you now!
I'll come with you later!
You're coming now!
Take him, boys!
I can't!
I can't leave her here alone!
She's a goddess!
- He's still crazy! Go on!
- Let go of me!
She doesn't know about mortals!
- Take him out.
- Venus! Venus!
Venus!
Venus!
- What happened?
- I don't know.
Some detectives just grabbed a kid.
Yeah, took him away in the car.
What did he do?
Search me.
He was up there buying popcorn.
Debussy.
You know, Debussy does
something to women.
Personally, I go for Buzzy Bellew
and his Musical Crew.
Save your needles, chum.
I suspect that this little gal
is going to be your Waterloo.
What else can she do?
When they toss Hatch into the Bastille,
she must turn to me.
I'm the only one who can get him out.
Fine strategy, general,
but it won't work,
not with this baby.
Hello, baby!
My dear, what a very
unexpected pleasure.
Am I too late for
that candlelight supper?
Gracious, no!
I'll put a couple of candles
on to broil right away.
I'll manage, Molly.
I'm a whiz at tallows sauted a la Savory.
Good night, Molly.
I'll chill a bottle of wine for you.
- Any preference?
- Your pleasure.
Don't worry.
Not me. You can
take care of yourself.
I mean about him.
You really care for him, don't you?
He reminds me of a dog I had.
No.
No, you really love him.
Well, why not?
Working here, I get a 20% discount.
That's what's wrong with you, Molly.
You keep everything inside.
You shouldn't.
You must let him know.
You talk like an expert.
What do you think?
Good night, Molly.
So long.
Watch out for Debussy.
This is lovely.
Yes.
To you.
To us.
She walks in beauty like the night.
Of cloudless climes and starry skies.
Poetic approach, huh?
Do you bother to learn the whole poem
or just those parts
you can whisper to women?
Or they can whisper to me.
Another good one is,
For thou art fairer than the evening air
clad in the beauty of a thousand stars.
I'll make a note of that.
- Some more wine?
- Please.
You know, you are rather nice.
I'm sorry about the way I've acted.
Beauty likened to a song.
Such beauty can do no wrong.
- Please.
- You're maddening.
You know, Whitfield, I keep thinking...
- Me, too.
- ...of Eddie.
- He's been arrested.
- Wonderful.
But it was all my fault.
- Forget him.
- Poor boy.
In jail in a cold cell.
I'll send him an overcoat
and some blankets.
Maybe-- Maybe you could get him out?
Why, yes, yes.
Of course Anything. Anything.
It's the least I can do for you.
Yes?
The city jail?
Oh, it's you.
Well, what now?
Hello, Kerrigan?
I want a word with you.
Now I'm Kerrigan, huh?
Well, begorra, I've got the feet for it.
Kerrigan, you are a card.
- Tell him about Eddie.
- Yes, my dear.
I want you to do
something for me, old boy.
Why don't you spin your platters?
You know, Debussy does
something to women.
Or better yet,
flip out your bank books.
You can give her anything money can buy.
Now listen here, Kerrigan.
I want action on this,
do you understand?
- Whitfield, you're so wonderful.
- Thank you, my dear.
Hold on there, Kerrigan.
What's that?
Hatch! Eddie Hatch!
Tell him about Hatch!
Yes, my dear.
I'll have him out in a minute.
Now look here, Molly--
Molligan--
Kerrigan.
I'll put an ad in the morning paper
for a secretary.
Help wanted, female.
Must be able to take
shorthand and body blows.
No, no. Don't do anything rash.
We'll talk it over.
Here, let me talk to him.
I'll take care of this, my dear.
You've pulled a lot of chintzy deals,
but framing a kid to get his girl
is too rich for me.
Even I'm finally ashamed of you.
No, no, don't go.
I've got to talk to you.
You know how I need you.
I depend on you.
You didn't seem to need me before.
Well, you did everything
but bounce me out of your apartment.
I'll do anything.
- Tell him you'll give him a bonus.
- I'll give you a bonus.
Please, my dear, please.
I'll take care of this.
- I'll come right over.
- I'll go with you.
No, no, no, no!
You wait here. I'll be back.
You wait there. I'll be over.
Save yourself the trip.
And tell baby thanks for the advice.
I haven't felt so good in years.
So long, Whitfield.
I walk out in beauty like the night.
No, no, no--
Some wine, please, my dear.
You-- You've got to listen.
Don't-- Don't hang up.
You-- You can't leave me flat--
My dear, are you all right?
I'm fine.
Molly! Molly!
She's hung up.
She wouldn't listen.
She's leaving me.
Well, what are you doing here?
You're right.
I can be there in a minute.
Two minutes.
First you call Kerrigan.
Kerrigan?
Oh, why, of course.
Yes, my dear, of course.
Hello, Molly? Molly--
Molly?
Who is this?
Who you kiddin'?
Well, yes. Yes, Mr. Savory.
I'm dropping all charges.
Release Hatch at once.
Tell Eddie I'll be waiting.
Send Hatch up to my place right away.
The place is yours.
Use anything you want.
Stay as long as you like.
Thank you, Whitfield.
This orchid, I think it would
look nice on Molly.
Thank you.
Excuse me.
Tell Hatch he can have tomorrow off.
No, no! Not now!
Please! Please!
Just a few moments more!
Wait here.
- Hey, Eddie!
- Joe!
Hey, I got your bail.
Don't worry. I'll get you out.
- You are out!
- Savory dropped the charges.
Well, gee, that's great!
Then they found the statue.
- Who stole it?
- It wasn't stolen.
Venus is waiting for me right now.
Savory's Department Store.
Venus? Oh, no, Eddie!
Not that again!
Did you say Savory's Department Store?
Yeah, Savory's Department Store.
- To the nearest hospital.
- Savory's.
- To the hospital!
- Make up your mind.
He wants to go the hospital!
Savory's. I'm paying for this trip.
Now look, Eddie, listen to me.
- You're sick. You don't feel well.
- I'll show you.
I'll introduce you to her, Joe.
You'll like her.
She's wonderful.
- Oh, Eddie.
- Faster!
I've got to get there, Joe.
She may leave.
I want her to stay.
I want to marry her.
We'll get a little place
out in Ozone Heights.
Oh, yeah.
I can just see you bouncing
little statues on your knee.
Eddie, you've just got
to stop talking like that.
She's not a statue, Joe.
She's Venus, goddess of love.
You win. To the hospital.
Savory's Department Store!
Look, Eddie, just-- just relax.
Speak low
- You got to quit thinking about--
- Quiet. Listen.
When you speak love
Our summer day withers away
Too soon, too soon
Speak low
When you speak love
- But--
- Listen!
I can hear her.
Like ships adrift, we're swept apart
Don't be silly.
That's just the radio.
That's Venus! Faster!
Turn off your radio, will ya?
- It ain't on.
- It must be on!
Clam up, bub. Let's listen.
We're all crazy!
Lost in the dark
Too soon, too soon
I fear
Wherever I go
That tomorrow is near
Tomorrow is here
And always too soon
Time is old
And love so brief
Love is pure gold
And time a thief
We're late
Darling, we're late
The curtain descends, everything ends
Too soon, too soon
I wait
Darling
Will you speak love
Venus? Venus?
See, Eddie? I told you.
There's nobody here.
She's got to be here!
She must be here!
Venus? Venus?
Hey, Eddie, come on.
If Mr. Savory catches us here,
we'll both be fired.
She's in the model home.
That's where she is.
Oh, Eddie.
Good shot, Ed.
- Come on, Mr. Savory.
- Where did you have it hidden?
Yes, give us the real dope.
Well, the statue simply reappeared
as mysteriously as it disappeared.
Before you write this off
as another publicity gimmick,
I suggest you look
at Ludavicci Fassoli's volume
on the strange legends and myths
surrounding the Anatolian Venus.
In our book department,
Morocco bound.
It's probably just coincidence,
but while our goddess
of love was missing,
the City Hall was snowed under.
They ran out of marriage licenses.
Love sure reared its beautiful head.
Thanks, girl.
Did you tell Hatch about his $3.00 raise?
- 3.75.
- Oh, yes.
Well, if you'll excuse us,
I believe there's a place called--
Niagara Falls.
We're going over in a barrel.
See you when we get back.
You never even said good-bye.
Oh, pardon me.
Could you direct me to the model home?
Oh, yes. It's right through there.
- Second floor.
- Thank you very much.
Miss!
Did you say you were looking
for the model home?
Yes.
You see, I just started
to work here today.
Oh, well, that's fine.
My name is Hatch, Eddie Hatch.
Mine's Jones, Venus Jones.
That's beautiful.
Well, it's unusual anyway.
Nobody's ever likely to meet
two girls named Venus.
No, I-- I guess not.
Subtitled By J.R. Media Services, Inc.
Burbank, CA