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Opposite Day (2009)
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Welcome to my lab, Mr. Rodriguez. How was your flight? Terrific! We could not do this without you! Thank you so much for your cooperation. Could you please escort Mr. Rodriguez up on the platform? Thank you. Dimitri, it's time. Da. We are ready for you, Doctor. Oh, our time has finally come, Dimitri! Tonight, we crack the code on baby language, allowing adults to communicate with their babies. Please put Mr. Rodriguez into the Demistifier. Da. Hello, Mr. Rodriguez. Now, this will be over before you know it. Would you like me to hold that? Thank you. Now, please, to get into Demistifier. Dimitri, when the Demistification is complete, Mr. Rodriguez will be able to speak the baby-monkey language and understand the baby monkey! Mr. Rodriguez will speak fluent baby-monkey language! Stand by for Demistification. 10... 9, 8, 7, 6... Subject looks OK. Come on, come on, come on! Demistifier running! - 1... - Ah! Oh... So... Doctor, he's practically naked! Well, yes, I can see that, Dimitri! Hmm... You know, I might be mistaken, but it appears as if Mr. Rodriguez believes that he's a baby, too! Is that what we wanted? Well, no, Dimitri! We wanted him to understand baby language, not to become one! It's the complete opposite! Please forgive me for what I'm about to do. Excuse me. Ahh! Come on! Let the kids go by! Mom, now that I'm gone... Don't worry about tomorrow 'cause I'll be all right... Come on through Fairfield, the town that never stops moving! Keep it coming! Here we go! Taught me well Now say goodbye Don't look back or you'll make me cry Dad, you've been my best friend... Get your paper today! Paper! Read it! You taught me more than a thing or two Be strong while I'm away Keep me in your thoughts Tear 'em from the Opposite Day I love my job! Opposite Day It's only once in a lifetime Day Opposite Day Opposite Day It happens once in a lifetime... I need you to go to the supermarket. Jack, I told you to go along, and if the sales go below 150, sell short. I don't care what you say! If the sales go below 150, sell short! Sometimes just wanna be a kid Can't do things like my mommy did Oh yeah... I've got 30 minutes for lunch! I need a cab! Taxi! I'm walking here! I'm walking here! Now pay attention! It's your move, Marv. Keep it together till I'm back from the Opposite Day... You know, it makes no sense. In school, they want us to play on the playground and slide. When I do it at home, my parents go nuts. You rubbed butter on the banister and slid down in your underwear, Sammy. Give me a break, Carla! Like I'm gonna walk down 20 steps every time I want a snack from the fridge! What'd your parents do when they found out? They grounded me for the rest of day. Oh, that's so harsh! That's nothing! Last week, I threw ice cream at my little sister. Got no dessert for a week. No dessert? For a whole week? Parents are so bossy! All they wanna do is make rules! And every chance they get, they ground me. For good reason. If mom and dad let you do whatever you wanted, the house would be wrecked by now. Well, when I'm a parent, I'm gonna let my kids do whatever they want. Sure, Sammy. Hey, Carla, wanna trade games? I'm still playing. Today's Opposite Day, which means you're not playing. Today's so not Opposite Day! You just made that up! Well, you just said it's not Opposite Day, which means it is Opposite Day, which means if you are using the game, you really aren't using the game which means I can have it. Here we go! Today could be... Give Your Brother the Game Day! But you're still not getting it! This life of ours, if we can even call it a life, is totally unfair! We could easily do what our parents can do. Make dinner, raise a family. Ha! Piece of cake! Cake? Don't mind if I do! Yet they tell us what to do? I don't think so! If kids ran the world, it would be so much better. I say starting now, we stop letting adults tell us what to do. Yeah! Hey, guys. What's up, Chaz? What ya talking about? The boys think kids should be in charge of parents. I mean, that could never happen. That's just... whoo! Who needs parents? I don't know. I kind of like my dad. I just wish he'd play with me more. At least he tucks me into bed at night. Ugh! Mom's here. Hey, guys! Mom! Come on, baby. Let's go. Hello! See you guys on Monday! TTYL, Sue! How was your day, kiddo? Pretty good. - Yeah? - Yeah. Wanna go for a bike ride? All right, let's get going, OK? 'Cause I've got a surprise for you both... at home! Cool! Cinderella, dressed in yellow... Look! It's Grandma and Grandpa coming! Could only mean one thing! Guess where we're going! - On vacation! - On vacation! - Whoo! - Yeah! I'll see you. OK. - Daddy! - Hi! I love you. Grandma, Grandpa! Dad! Ugh! Don't embarrass me! Embarrass you in front of who? Your mother? What, I can't hug my own son? It was cool a couple of years ago. Someday you're gonna be a parent, and you're gonna realize how important this bond is between father-son. OK. Can I go now? - Yes. - Cool. OK. God, wouldn't it be great to be a kid again, huh? Get so excited about everything. I don't know. I wouldn't wanna give up being married to you, our fantastic kids, our wonderful life together. I know. Just for a day, though. Stop to get the fishing rods. Sorry, I gotta take it. Hi, Charles. Hey! Oh... Hi, Ms. Jenkins. Dr. Larabee. Oh, thanks, Dad! These are my favourite! You can't keep doing this. It's not fair to Chaz. And it certainly is not fair to me! I know, I know. But I will be here early every day next week. I promise! Hey, Dad, I made this for you. Hey! That's a nice job there! Uh... That's nice. That's... So, we're in a bit of a time crunch here, so... I'm sorry. You've really grown up, Son. All right, we're all packed up! Let's hit the road, Jack. Now, are you kids ready for an old-fashioned fun-in-the-sun vacation in our new cabin? - Yeah! - Yeah! - I wanna sit in the middle. - No, that's not fair! - Scooch over! - What is it, hon? Charles needs me to come into the office. Right now? It's ridiculous, but my client pushed up his deadline and now I've got 2 weeks' worth of work to do in 2 days. And what about our vacation? You'll just have to go without me. Something's wrong. If you're not going, I'm not going. No, go. Have fun. Denise, I'm not going on vacation while you're stuck in the office. Besides, it'll be good for Mom and Pop to have a weekend alone with the kids. And who knows, maybe you can finish up early and we can get some time to ourselves. That would be nice. I thought this was supposed to be a family vacation. Now don't you worry. I'll take good care of the kids. What's their names again? He's joking. I think. I'm just yanking their chain. All right, kids! Wave goodbye to your parents! You may never see them again! Bye, Pop! Bye, guys! Bye, Daddy! I'll miss you! I love you, princess. Bye! Bye, Daddy! I'm really proud of you, Son. There's only one thing in my mind I'm leaving everything behind I'm just looking for good times... If I was in charge, I would not ruin a family vacation for stupid work! I agree. Heading down this endless road Breaking down on open doors Taking chances is fine with me Better off on what you need To live it up to me I can make you see... Awesome! Dude! This is so cool! Grandpa! Grandpa! Grandpa! Come on! Come on! Come on, Grandpa! Hey, kids, for dinner, I'm gonna make hot dogs with macaroni and cheese, homemade ice cream and gummy bears! - I love gummy bears! - Gummy bears! Yes! - Gummy bears! - Whoo! You are going to have so much fun, it's going to come out of your ears! Emily, I need to see those layouts. Oh, Denise. I just got an email from Tyler at Skin So Smooth. They wanna start their slogan with "Smooth..." It's up to us to figure out the rest. And by "up to us," that means up to you. Oh... Good luck. OK, if I crank this out double time, I still might make it to the cabin. Yeah, right. Good luck, girl. All right, now, this is Dimitri's son, Alexei, huh? Don't worry, let me put the coat on the doctor. You're late. Make a note of that, please. Yes, sir, Mr. Montgomery. My sincerest apologies. You know, it's no small feat working 14-hour days and raising a child on your own. Spare me the excuses, Godfrey. As you know, the board is expecting me to advise on next fall's product launch this Thursday. Either you show us something we can use in the launch, or I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go. Now, what have you got for us? Uh... Well... let's start with the birds! Ah, the bird! Ha-ha! Good. Come on. After you. Now, did you know that overnight-express delivery companies' employees are paid $20 an hour for their deliveries? So I started thinking, what if we started a company with employees that could be paid in birdfeed, literally? Ta-da! Even as we speak, we are in production on a fleet of thousands of birds that would travel at mach speed, delivering packages all over the world, 24 hours a day! I call it Bird Express! What does that have to do with babies? Oh... Well, I mean... other than the classic mythology of birds delivering newborns, technically, really nothing. - It's stupid. - And a waste of money. What else do you have? Right. No. Forget the bird. Yeah, just a little side project to sort of whet your appetite. Ooh, come here! Feast your eyes on the future of sports! Hmm? Bats hit. Clubs swing. Ooh, all on their own! Oh! You see, the automated motion, it teaches kids to play sports with the proper form. Ooh, look at this! Oh! Oh my God, are you OK, Mr. Montgomery? - It's all right. - Be careful! You call that a punch? No, I don't think so. Thank you for your patience, sir. Yeah, hey, we're just getting warmed up! Right, Dimitri? OK. Now, this next one is for the parents. And I call it Slow Ray. Watching a baby when you have other household responsibilities, it's challenging because they're all over the place. falling, getting into everything. But if you slow them down... Ahh... How far can they go? Hmm? How much can they destroy? That is fascinating, but how is the effect reversed? Thank you, Doctor! What happens if you shoot your kid with the fast mode first? - Good point. - Oh, well... So far I've seen absolutely nothing worth mentioning to the board. If anything, hearing what you have to say has mad me stupider. Are we done yet? - I think we're done. - My dad always has problems. No, no, no! No, we're not done! There's still one more invention left! - There is? - Yeah. Um, this is something that I've been working on since my Ph.D. days. It's a machine that allows adults to speak baby language! Yeah! All due respect, sir, but have you lost your mind? Not now. Not now. You're telling me that parents would be able to talk with their babies. It will revolutionize parenting as we know it. Now you're speaking my language. There's just one tiny little itty-bitty problem. - We don't like problems. - We don't do that word. Well, it's still sort of in the testing phase. Godfrey, how much would you say you enjoy working here at Cuddledyne? A whole lot? Not so much? - Get off me! - No, you get off! Now, now, possums, these two beds are exactly the same. Martha, I built both these beds with my bare hands. Sammy is right. That one is better! Not to mention the view. Huh? Stop teasing the kids! Come on, they're both exactly the same. Oh, look! It's the first star. You know, if you wish on it, your dreams will come true. I wished on it that I would meet someone wonderful like your grandpa, and I did! Are you saying that we can make a wish? Uh-huh. But make sure your wish counts. Good night, angel. Good night. Good night, Grandpa. And don't let the bedbugs bite! You know, Grandma and Grandpa are pretty cool. I have a wish. I wish that kids... ruled the world. And I wish you would stop talking so I can sleep! You know, we should build an underwater city, too. That way, people would have a place to live once global warming melts the polar icecaps and floods the world. That's a good idea. - How's my little Chaz-mataz? - Hey, Dad. Today, you're gonna be my little helper. How does that sound? - I'd love to help you. - OK. Come here. Uh, listen... I want to show you something that's gonna make both our lives better. How's that sound? - You made me a robot? - Not quite. Dimitri, it's time. Da. All right, look, Chaz, I just need you to sit in here and be still, all right? It's completely safe. I designed it myself. Trust me. I'm your father! You'll be the first child who will be able to communicate with babies! You'll know baby language. Our lives will be completely changed after this. Some father you are! We are about to make history! You say that at all your demonstrations. Yeah, I know. OK, Son! Initiating uplink to maternity ward. Connecting to baby subject. I can't believe you'd do this to your own son! I'd make a better father than you! How can you test a machine on me that doesn't even work? I hate this machine! I hate it! I hate it! Malfunction. Malfunction. No! Chaz! You care more about work than me! That's not true! I am pulling the plug on this program! When I'm finished with you, you'll be lucky if you get a job flipping burgers! Hickory, dickory, dare, the pigs flew up in the air! Hickory, dickory, dare, the kids flew up in the air! Hickory, dickory, dare, the pigs flew up in the air! Hickory, dickory, dare... Oh, Dad, I got so scared! Almost pooped my pants! Whoa! Look how big my hands are! Ahh! I'm like a monster! Ahh! Ahh! Look at your hair! Na-na-na-na-na! I want to play tag with you! I want to play tag with you! Whee! Computer, tell me what happened. The Demistifier has had a complete malfunction, resulting in leakage. Dr. Larabee? Is everything all right? Uh, Dr. Larabee? Yeah, I'm Dr. Larabee. Computer, what happened to all of us? This leakage has created a mist over the entire city for a 5-mile radius, causing all family members to switch identities, parents taking on their children's personalities and children taking on their parents' personalities. Are you saying that this mist causes kids to act like adults and adults to act like kids? That is correct. Very good, computer. Very good. - Martha! Martha! - What? Do you see what I see? I guess... I guess I'm just imagining it. OK to cross now, kids. Last one's a rotten egg! This isn't Halloween, is it, dear? No, no, the last time I checked, Halloween is in October. I know what it is. You must have made a wrong turn. I know exactly where we are! Please, don't give me a hard time. Kids, kids! Wake up! Wake up! Did you see what I see? Look! Look! Look! Whoa! Hey, bub, get the lead out of it! That kid is driving! Kids can't drive! No, Sammy, please, she's right. They're not just driving! They're doing everything, these kids! Mom, now that I'm gone Don't worry about tomorrow 'Cause I'll be all right on my own... I've got 30 minutes for lunch. I need a cab. Taxi! Don't look back or you'll make me cry Dad, you've been my best friend You keep me up when I'm feeling blue... Keep it moving! Keep it moving! Come on! Be strong while I'm away... Come on, keep it moving! Keep it moving, people! Come on! Come on! Keep it moving! Come on, keep it moving! Opposite Day Opposite Day It's only once in a lifetime Day Opposite Day Opposite Day It happens once in a lifetime Ice cream! Oh, well, let's have some fun... Get your fresh, hot papers here! Grow up really fast... Jack, I told you to go long. And if sales go below 150, sell short. I don't care what you say! If sales go below 150, sell short! Cooking things and building too Can't pay the bills as good as you... I need you to go to the supermarket! So, when you vote for Mayor Dugen, know that you're not only voting for free parking, you're voting for freedom! Opposite Day Opposite Day... It looks like the world's turned opposite! Like Opposite Day! But do the math. All the kids are acting weird, like adults. And all the adults are acting like kids. Wait, do you know what this means? What? My wish came true! Kids rule the world! How can you be happy about this? Who wouldn't be? I guess me! Stop sign, you knucklehead! Hey, I'm walking here! I didn't see it! I'm losing my concentration. Kids, now, be on your best behaviour now. I'll handle this. Martha, if there's one thing I know how to do, I know how to deal with the law. License and registration. You know those candid-camera shows? We're on candid camera! Very funny! We see through you, don't we? Don't we? I don't know. Maybe it's not a gag. Maybe it's not a gag? Do you have a listening problem? Little boy, you're operating this automobile? I'm a little boy? I think you're a little confused, kiddo. What are you doing? What am I doing? What do you think I'm doing? If everything really is opposite, then Grandma and Grandpa are 2 little kids driving this car! And you know what that makes us? The adults! And we'd be responsible for them! I'm not going to jail for this. All right? I'm sorry, Carla, but if there's a world out there where I get to call the shots, I wanna be a part of it! What is he doing? Break my fall Waking from a bad dream Reaching out to find you Gone again I'm turning to my cell phone Turning out to be my oldest friend And shame on you... Hey, who are the adults here? You or them? We are, of course! Yeah! It's the both of us Can I make you see? Ice cream! Ice cream! Ice cream! Ice cream! Catch me if you dare If you really want to see me Take a second just to recognize How long that I've been there How can you help me? How can you heal me? You're never home to take my call You gotta show me... Why you crying, mister? 'Cause my mommy put me on timeout 'cause I pushed a kid! Too bad for you! Hello there, lovely ladies. Oh, who is he? He's cute! So, let me get this straight. You're telling me that you, a little boy, from the looks of things, is no more than 7 years old, is a grandfather? That's what I've been trying to tell you! This isn't good! Wait a minute, Officer. I can vouch for him. He's my husband of 45 years. And in the back, you can ask my grandkids. Listen, Officer, maybe we can work this out. I've got a box of Girl Scout cookies in the trunk. What kind? Wait a minute! Are you trying to bribe an officer? No! Just a few cookies! Animal crackers. Out of the car, son! Cooperate, Jack. I am cooperating! How can you help me? How can you heal me? You're never home to take my call You gotta show me You wanna know me Gotta be there to break my fall Break my fall You gotta be there Break my fall Oh, you should be there Come on, keep it moving! Keep it moving, people! On the sidewalk. Hands on your head. Put your right foot in. Take your right foot out. Put your left foot in. And shake it all about. I said the left foot! Where are your parents? Oh, Martha, I'm so confused! Please! I'm going to need you to breathe into this. And then you go, and then you and you. All right? Next! Yeah! - Next! - Yeah! Whoo! Walk the line, tough guy! That's hopscotch! You too! I said walk it - I won't! - You will! - Won't! - Will! Won't! I've had enough of you! You know what you are? You're a little punk kid in a cop's uniform! Is that right? That's it, we're going downtown! Oh, you're making a mistake, Officer! All he did was run a stop sign! Hey! It's not your turn yet! Carla, I don't know if this is just a dream or if it's just one huge practical joke, but promise me that we're gonna enjoy it for as long as it lasts. Whatever you say, Sammy. What's your problem? Grandma and Grandpa just got arrested! Next! Come on now, is all of this really necessary? Smile for the ducky! Quack, quack! Can I get a copy of that? Fingerprint, please. Does it wash off? This is so childish. Take your time. I want you to be really sure, so take your time. It's him! It's him on the right! That one? I'm sure of it. You gotta believe me! I'm telling you, I'm innocent! Tell it to the judge. Jasper, what are you doing here? What do you mean, what am I doing here? I work here. I'm a cop. Remember? No, I don't remember. A few days ago, you were a normal kid, just like us. What are you talking about? I've been on the force since I was practically born! Are we the only ones who can see that everything has turned opposite? All of a sudden, kids are in charge, like we talked about in school the other day! In school? Everything's all mixed up! I'm sorry to say, guys, but the only thing mixed up is you! Parents acting like kids? Kids like parents? Now that's hilarious! I promise you, things are as normal as they've always been. Well, there are these old... There are these young kids that just came in. What's gonna happen to them? So, tell me... Jack... where were you two hours ago? Was it on Main St. in front of Casey's Market in front of a stop sign as bright as day? You Oompa-Loompas can ask me all you want. I ain't squealing! Don't worry, hon. If it comes down to it, I'll take the fall for you. They ain't cooperating, boss. They're playing it smart. Won't speak without an attorney present. I got it! Maybe we should throw the book at 'em! Yeah, good idea. You're thinking. They dodged the book! I'm out of ideas! Me too! What now? How about we get a bite? OK. I'll drive. - My treat, buddy. - Thanks. What do you feel like having today? All rise for the honourable judge! Unh! Operating a vehicle as a minor? Running a stop sign without even saying you're sorry? Trying to bribe an officer with Girl Scout cookies? And not even mentioning they were thin mints! They were animal crackers! Ugh, the list goes on and on! You people make me sick! Jack and Martha Benson, please rise. Seeing that this is your first offence, I've decided to take it easy on you two. Ohh! Twenty-five years of solitary confinement! No! No! Bailiff, take them away! What kind of a lawyer are you? Act as though you... Act casual. Oh my God... Oh my... Stay in a single line! Keep your hands where I can see them! I'm innocent! Want a lolly? No, thank you. That's very nice of you, but we haven't had dinner yet. How about a game of tic-tac-toe? I don't know the rules. No, thank you. When I was a kid I would dream that I was grown up Finally on my own No people to tell me who, what, where, why... - Really appreciate it. - Thanks, Jasper. I'm worried about you folks. I have hopes I have dreams That one day I'm gonna live my life Just like I want to Who do you wanna be... I hope you're happy. About what? You know, if it wasn't for your stupid wish, Grandma and Grandpa would still be with us instead of sitting in a stinky old jail cell! Well, it's not my fault. I mean, it's not like I created all this. Did I? Holy cannoli! Whoa! You took the words right out of my mouth! Whoa... Oh my gosh... If you weren't with me this whole time, I would swear this was your work. Well, I make a good mess. And when I say "good", I mean good! Not this good. - Surprise! - Surprise! - Mom! Dad! - Mom! Dad! Hey! Oh, we built the coolest fort! You've gotta see it! Oh my God, you gotta check it out! They're dressed like kids! We missed you, Mom and Dad! We missed you! Why do you keep calling us Mom and Dad? You're the parents. No, silly, you are! - We're the kids! - You're the parents! We're the kids. You're the parents. No, I'm telling you! We're the kids and you guys are the parents! - They're so weird! - Wait a minute. The coolest fort... If they're the kids, then we should be able to tell them what to do, right? I guess so. You look like a dog! Robert! Clean up this mess right now. No! Do we have to? Yes, you do. - She did it. - It was his idea. You know what? I don't care whose idea it was. - He did it! - She did! I want you to clean it up right now! What am I saying? Denise, you go get me some popcorn, and, Robert, you go get me a soda. Let's go! We don't have all day, people! Let's go! What? The toilet paper was Robert's idea. Now, this is the life! What are you doing helping them, Carla? That's their job! Have you lost your mind? You're abusing your power! That's not fair! Don't lecture me about fair, all right? This is payback time! They've had this coming for 10 years now! Is there anything else you want us to do? I finished scrubbing the toilet with my toothbrush. What now? Denise, honey, I'd like you to now brush your teeth with that toothbrush. - No! - But, Dad... I'm just messing with you guys! Now it's playtime! - Yeah! - Whoo! Today was a fun day It's snowing! Got to do things my way Don't tell me what to do Ten Mississippi! Ready or not, here I come! Got to be a grown-up Got to eat whatever I want You can't tell me what to do I think I'm gonna puke. You'll never know... I'm only doing this for you. Tea? Tea? I got it! I got it! - Yeah! - Yeah! You'll never see That was fun! Just what it means to be... Just a tip, but Mom usually puts it in water. When kids rule Dinner's served! Hope you're hungry! Let me through. Move it, Sammy! Stop kicking! Hey! Wait! We can't let them get into bed looking like that! Why not? Hey! Ah, ah, ah! Not so fast. Aren't we forgetting something? Good night, Dad. Good night. I miss you, Mom. You too, Dad. You too. It's harder than it looks, being a parent, isn't it? I don't know about that. I hope when we wake up in the morning, Opposite Day will be over. I'm sorry for being such a pain today. Good night. - Wake up, sleepyheads! - Hey! Wake up! Wake up, sleepyhead! Mom! Dad! Mom! Dad! We're hungry! Yay! Again? But we just fed them! I guess we have to feed them. And then after that, we wanna go to... Ahh! - OK, guys, calm down! - Ow! Take a look outside. Everything's still opposite. Am I detecting a change of heart? No. I love being in charge. Besides, it beats the heck out of going to school! - No, I'm not doing anything! - Stop it! Oh, whoa! Girl, you can't do the presentation looking like that! I can't do the what? Somebody call the fashion police! No more police! Please, no more! It's just an expression, Carla. Chill out. Now, we have got to do something about that outfit. Come on, girl. Whoa, your clothes are ginormous! I had that problem a couple of days ago. Oh, take 'em down to Cuddledyne. They can fix it. Sue, has anything seemed to be a little weird to you these past few days? Like what? Like everything! No. But you're kind of weirding me out right now. Get dressed. OK, hair. Your clothes are ginormous. Makeup. Perfect. What do you think? I'm embarrassed to know you. But we don't have time. Let's go. Hey! This is crazy! What am I supposed to do at work? Why are you acting like you've never worked in your life? Whoa, where are you going? Hello! Earth to Sammy? We're going to the office. Man, you two are totally out of it today! Come on, let's go. - Bye. - We've gotta fix this, Sammy! Grandma and Grandpa are counting on us! Grandma and Grandpa are probably having the time of their lives right now! It's jail! How fun can it be? You can do it! Ah, no, I can't! Whoo! Robert, what are you doing? Ah! I'm sorry, Dad. I'm so sorry. I think I got some cereal in my pants. Don't you two have to go to school? Um, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and, um, I don't wanna go. I'm not asking! I'm telling! Gotcha! Hey! Don't make me come back there! Now buckle up! You stop it! You stop it! You stop it! Dad hit the trash cans! Hey, watch it! He doesn't know what he's doing! Oh yeah! Wicked! We're really moving now! Jeff Gordon coming through! I said small flathead! Yes, sir, here's the small one. Dad, Dad... Dad! Dad! Dad! Would you help me build my rocket now? Not now. Can't you see I'm working? Oh, come on! Sir, the dispenser units for the birds are ready to be tested. Excellent! Aren't you supposed to be in school? I don't wanna go! You are going! - No! - Yes! - Why? - Because I said so. OK. When I was a kid I would dream that I was grown up Finally on my own No people to tell me... So, this is work. Yup, the place that pays the bills. Pays the what? You are totally out of it today, girl. You probably just need a pick-me-up. A pick-me-what? It's coffee. Who drinks coffee? We do. Let's go. I'll have a grande vanilla mocha-choco sugar-free nonfat choco-latte, extra hot, over ice with whipped cream and sprinkles. Oh, and do you have goat's milk? Sorry. Fresh out. I'll have soy then. She'll have the same. Blended. Ew! It's our usual! Hi. Matthew, stop it! Nice one! Don't encourage him! We're late enough as it is. Copycat Ad Agency, may I please help you? Copycat Ad Agency... I've been late twice this week, and Reynolds is all over me! Who's Reynolds? Your boss! Did you rob a circus clown? No. Is this the new summer fashion? Actually, it's my mom's. Whatever. Come on! This is the only original we have, so guard it with your life. I need you to make 20 copies, collated. Double side the bottom half in black and white, then single side the top half in colour. Fax it as an attachment to the client's FTP site. Paperclip the hard copy, then staple it. You know what? I really don't care. Ugh! The plug! We decided, for your new moisturizer, we would have to come up with the best, 'cause you are the best. Well, I'm expecting the best. Come on, I just wanna be a friend. You look like a nicer copy machine. Let's try you out. Come on. Oh no, it's a shredder! No! Oh! Bad shredder! Spit it out! The clients are here! Grab the presentation! Hurry up! Come on, let's go! One sec. Let's go. Mostly sunny skies today with a light east-coming breeze. Expect temperatures... Hey, hey, you wanna shoot some hoops? Sorry, pal, I have to deliver the US mail. Hey, guys, wanna play some basketball? Can't. We're on duty. D7... G4... Boom! Gotcha! You want to play? Let's play. You should slow down, pal. After this one, I never wanna see another malt again. You off work today? Today and every day. You got family? A wife? Yeah. I guess so. Wife and kids. The whole shebang. Aren't they the most adorable kids you ever saw? Yeah, they're just darling. Unbelievable how fast they grow up. Never fast enough for them. That was my problem. I wanted to be an adult, so I didn't enjoy my childhood. Didn't make the moments count. Didn't listen to my parents. I became a pretty mixed-up kid. Boy, wish I could turn back the years. You know what I mean? Yeah. I know exactly what you mean. I've gotta turn things right again. How much are the malts? They're always on the house. I'm Dr. Chaz Larabee. Chaz? I'm the best friend you could ask for. Can you turn it up, please? Does the world around you seem larger lately? Can't seem to reach the pedal anymore? Trying to find answers for the unexplainable? Come on down to Cuddledyne and see me, Dr. Chaz Larabee. We don't just fix your clothes. We fix your life. Ha-ha! Cuddledyne. Thanks again! No pressure, but the future of the firm depends on your presentation. I love your dress. It's so big. Where'd you get it? My mom's closet. Never heard of it. Is that a new store? Let's get started, shall we? Our research shows that 80% of women prefer smooth skin to dry, scaly skin. And that, in a nutshell, is the demographic we're going after: Savvy women who like smooth skin. Carla's gonna distribute a mock-up print ad for your new moisturizer. Um... yeah! OK... Could you just pass this around? Thanks. This is a copy of somebody's bottom. And where's the slogan? You were supposed to come up with a slogan! "Smooth..." Um... right! "Smooth... "Smooth... "bottom... "Smooth as a baby's bottom." Spot on! I love it. It's so fresh! You're in! Yeah, fantastic! Look at the world I am creating. I'll use my father's idea of the overnight-delivery Bird Express. And I will use these birds to fly to London, France and New York to carry the mist which will change everyone's personality and put the kids in charge everywhere. Keep it moving! Keep it moving! Hey, how much would it cost for me to hire you and your ninjas as my elite bodyguards? Hey, Mom, look what he's doing to my hair! Guys, we need to talk. Go higher! I've been thinking. I need to explain to you what's happened to everyone. Alexei, there is no sign of reversal. The outcome could have not been better. - Hurry up! - I'll be there in one second! All the kids have taken on the lives of their parents. I want you to speed up the operation. We go hot today! The birds must be ready to fly immediately! What are you up to, Chaz-mataz? Mistify the whole world so the kids can be in charge! Sorry. You can't keep doing this. It's not fair to your boy or me. I'll be on time next week. Let's go. Make sure that all the jetpacks are filled with the mist and secured perfectly on each bird and ready for takeoff. On second thought, we'll talk later. Come with me, guys. Come on. Give me my backpack! Dad, run through the gate. Godfrey, be on your best behaviour and I'll give you ice cream. Open it, Joey. Run! Run through the gate! Run through the gate! Run through the gate! Run through the gate! Dad, I wanna go see a movie. Oh yeah, I wanna see the one about the flying saucer. Uh, we'll go tomorrow. I promise. We'll do a double feature, OK? Can I help you? We're here for the, um... We're... Afternoon tour! Ah, how'd you guess? My wife says I have psychic abilities. Go straight. Right. - Make your first right. - Uh-huh. Daycare's first door on your left. Thanks. All right, I'm gonna tell you the story now. Be a little quiet now. Regrettably, Dr. Larabee's unable to join us on our tour today. So let's get started. Five years ago, looking to branch out from their roots as a space-technologies company, Cuddledyne introduced their first baby product: The GPS pacifier, which allowed parents to easily locate the missing sucker. We're moving. We're moving. Just be aware that all jetpacks have been filled with mist and are fully operational. Handle with care when attaching to the birds. First launching is in 15 minutes. What'd you want me to change? Cover the D and the E. Starting now, this bad boy shall be known as the Mistifier. Nice! Give me my update, Alexei. Two-thirds of the supersonic jetpacks have been attached to the birds. The first of the fleet are ready for takeoff as planned. Brilliant, Alexei! We're so close, I can practically taste it! At midnight tonight, my birds will Mistify the world, and children everywhere will rule adults once and for all! The best part is, no one can stop me! Thank you! Get back to work! The opposite will last forever! What is it? - Intruder in Sector B! - No! Sir, we've got a security breach. Are you trying to ruin my moment of glory? No, sir, I just wanted to inform you that I've got the situation under control. - This isn't a playground. - It is now! I'm the King. You're the peasant! And they lived happily every after! - Come on, kids, let's go! - Where are we going? - Out of here! - Go, go, go! Help! You're the worst driver I've ever seen! Dad, did you do something wrong? No, Dad, don't! Oh... we lost him. Sammy! Na, na, na! You're never gonna believe where I was today! What is it, Sammy? I ran into Chaz. He was blabbering about kids controlling adults and he has this evil army of birds... Wait! Slow down for a second. By the way, nice job with the house. It looks great. Dinner's ready now. We're having chicken tenders and French fries. Yo, Martha Stewart, what'd you do with my sister? I'm getting the hang of this "parents" thing. Oh yeah, about that, I ran into Chaz... You think quiet little Chaz has something to do with this opposite mess? That's just it! He's not quiet little Chaz anymore! I followed him back to this laboratory, and he's turned evil, Carla. He's planning to do what he did to our town, except to all over the world! I thought you loved this! This was your dream come true! I'm not so sure anymore. Being in charge is hard work. And please don't say "I told you so." - I told you so! - Mom! Can I ask you a question? What is it? Is it OK if we watch cartoons? Not now, honey. We've gotta go to the police! But who's going to look after the kids? - Ahh! - We need a babysitter. Hello! Thank you for coming. What are you guys doing here again? A few days ago, something happened. A machine in Cuddledyne Laboratories turned everyone... Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Let's move this over here. Bring them to me. And we have until midnight tonight to stop the birds, or the whole world will be Mistified. Come on, hurry! Can I help you? Police business. - Straight through, Officer. - Thanks. They're here. Your transmit is operational. Where's Chaz? Hello, Sammy, Carla. You were in the neighbourhood? It's over, Chaz. I told Jasper all about your evil plans. I'm not gonna deny it, everyone. I'm an evil, evil little villain. And I should be stopped. Someone, arrest me, please! You heard him, Jasper. Arrest him! Yeah! What are you waiting for? Arrest him! I should be stopped. And fortunately for me, today's not that day. Traitor! How could you do this to us? Chaz is right. It's kids' time to rule! Why fight us when you can join us? So we can act like boring grown-ups? When Chaz told me about adults becoming kids and kids becoming adults, I didn't believe him. But when he proved it to me, that it actually happened, I realized, this is the way the world should be. Kids rule! With kids in charge, there'll be no more war and no more famine. We'll use the power of our collective minds to find solutions to make the world a better place. We can take care of our parents better than they've ever dreamt of! This is our time to shine, Sammy. You're wrong, Chaz. We don't need that responsibility. We just need our parents. Oh, what do you know! You've got them. Mom! Dad! I see that we have a little family reunion. I've gotta get back to the station. Jasper! They didn't do anything to you! Let them go! I fully intend to release you all. Once you've been Mistified. One breath of this mist, and you'll forget that grown-up parents ever existed. You'll be just like the rest of us: Small and on top of it all. You realize you're tampering with Mother Nature? Ah, yeah, I hate to say this, but I like to call it Daughter Nature now. Kids all over the world will be missing something so special if you go through with this! Write a book about it. Place them in the Mistifier. Come on! Move along! You'll never get away with this! Let go! Dad... Dad! What is it this time, Godfrey? You wanna help me build my rocket? As usual, your timing is horrible. Peripheral nervous system activated. Alexei! Yes, Doctor? I am trusting you to finish the Mistification process of the Benson family. Yes, sir. I have some birds to attend to. - Chaz! Don't do this! - Let us out! March forth, my bird-brain friends. Spread the word! Demistify the world! You are the last of my warriors! Together, we will make history! Together... we'll change this world. Kids in charge everywhere! Fly! Fly! Fly! Countdown to Mistification. 20, 19... Help! 18, 17... 16, 15... 14, 13... Help! No one's gonna mess with my parents! Dad! - My nose! It hurts! - Oh no, Dad! 7... Dr. Larabee's not going to be happy! 4... - Yeah! - That's my dad! Mistification protocol interrupted. Malfunction. - Cool! - I picked them first! No! I did! No way! You only want them 'cause I want them! Whoa! You take 'em! Go! Turn! I know this isn't the time to get all mushy on you, Sammy, but even though I give you a hard time, I'm proud to have you as my brother. - You really mean that? - Of course I do! Thanks! For a girl, you're a pretty cool sister, too. We don't have much time left! It's almost midnight. We have to make everything opposite again! We need to reverse the Mistifier and get things back to normal. Uh, you go that way, and I'll go that way, OK? You got it! All right, uh... you two, stay here! The Bensons have escaped. Send in the ninjas. Chaz! Hi-yah! Kind of spooky in here. Wanna play? Let's play! Hoo! Ha! Standing in a corner Feeling like I ought to know Better I never should have told you How to win me over Yeah, yeah Shake on you Always blaming me It's the both of us Can I make you see? You got me wrapped around your finger I can't focus on a single other thing When I'm with you If this is your take on reality... How can you help me? How can heal me? You're never home These things are dangerous! I'm not cleaning this up! Ten minutes and counting until mist release over global targets. First fleet approaching targeted area. So predictable! Ow! Such a shame. You're just a tad too slow. Flight attendants, please prepare for arrival. Nine minutes until bird fleet... And now for my next experiment, I believe I figured out how to make a kid fly! You couldn't just let me be! You had to play hero! Well, I'm sorry to say that your heroics have come to a rather slow stop. Any final thoughts? I... Ugh, email me when you're done. We have to get everybody in Fairfield back to normal! We've got to stop Chaz! I don't know the password! You can do it! I don't know the password to start this thing! Do you want me to smash it, Ma? Yes. But no. I saw the buttons that my dad pushed to make that thing work. You remember them? Yeah, it's the same word as that right there. - The password is "password"? - Yeah. Eight minutes until birds over targeted areas and mist released. Login successful. Ah! It's working! It's working! Whoo! I did it! Malfunction. OK, sorry, Sammy, but this is just so annoying. Time is up. Give me it! Give me that thing! - Carla! - Sammy! Wait! You can't do this! Give me one good reason why not. You may not remember this, but you used to like your dad, Chaz. You were just upset because he didn't spend enough time with you. What good does that do me now? There are so many wonderful things parents do for their kids, things that kids can never replace. Like what? Well, without parents, who will tuck us in at night? Who will make us dinner? Who will show us new things? Or teach us right from wrong? Or take care of us when we don't feel good? Who will give us hugs and kisses? Parents are our teachers, our guardians. They look after us... and love us... unconditionally. We have our whole lives to act like adults, so why rush growing up? Your dad cares about you more than you think, Chaz. Why else would he bring you those boxes of caramel corn every day? He brings them... ...because he knows they're my favourite. He used to tuck me into bed at night. I'm sorry. I can't believe how selfish I've been. I... I just wanted to be loved. It's OK, Chaz. You haven't been yourself these days. Chaz, we gotta turn everybody back into normal and get the birds back. Six minutes until birds over targeted areas and mist released. Malfunction. - Ah, it's jammed! - So, what do we do? We gotta rewire the circuitry and override it. Dad! I mean, Godfrey! I need your strength! - Me? - Yeah, just come on. - Robert, Denise, over here. - Come on, guys! What do I do? Can I help? Ow! All right, now pull that off. Me? Yeah, yeah, just pull it off. You know what? Just break it off. You know, I'm afraid of breaking it. Break it! ...targeted areas and mist released. All right, now pull these 2 wires out and push them together. You ready, Son? - Ready! - Now! Ahh! My brain hurts. Where are we? What's with my hair? Look at my shirt! Mom! Dad! - There you are! - I missed you guys so much! We'll never take you for granted. I realize now how hard you guys have to work for us and all the things you have to do. Know that I love you guys more than anything else in the world. You took the words right out of my mouth! - I love you! - Wow! That is some kind of a hug! Are you sure I'm not gonna embarrass you? I know it's not cool being seen hugging your old man. Dad, it's totally cool! Come here, my boy. Come here. Oh! Oh, Chaz, I am so sorry. You know, I've been looking for a rainbow not realizing that it's right here. But from now on, you are my number-one priority. I love you so much, Chaz. - I love you, Dad. - Wait a minute! What about the birds? Who? Dr. Larabee, we need your help. Yeah, hurry up! Let's go! Where was I? Targets reached in 10... I think, if I'm not too late... 9... ...I can redirect the mist... 7, 6... ...and send the birds out to sea. Is it working? - I sure hope so! - Come on! Hurry! 3... 2... 1... Mission aborted. Birds returning to base. Evidently. - Whoo-hoo! - Yeah! We're lucky. You guys ready to go? - Oh yeah! - Oh yeah! - Are you excited? - Yeah. - All right. Belts on, guys. - Sure. Not again! Do you have to take that? I'll just be a second. Hello? Denise? It's Charles. Do you think this is bad news? I know that look. She's not coming. Just wanted to say, job well done on the moisturizing campaign. Well, a bit juvenile, yeah, but the client loves it. "Smooth as a baby's bottom." Who would think? What are you doing calling me on a Sunday, Charles? You have to understand that weekends are my only days to spend quality time with my family. I respect that. I get it. Can we get together and talk about it? So no more weekend calls. Are we clear? Yeah, I get it. I'm sorry. Look, she is coming! Let's go! Fairfield, the town that never stops moving! Keep it coming! Keep it coming! Extra! Get your paper today! Paper! Read it! Hey, let's get a coffee. Hey, Michael! How you doing, guys? Hey, how you doing? How are you? Keep it coming! Fairfield, the town that never stops moving! I feel like we're forgetting something. Grandma and Grandpa! Hi! I'm Ariel. I play Carla. This is our set for Opposite Day. They put this stuff on me to make me look extra dreamy. Girls, wives, girlfriends! Wow! Gotta be all grown up To get to eat whatever I want... Hanging in there. It's fun once you're in the air. Ahh! You'll never know What happens before... Trying to find answers for the unexplainable? Come on down to Cu... Cal-Worthington! Oh, what a feeling! What are you doing? When kids rule No responsibilities... It's snowing! It's Christmas! It's no fun to share... After Dylan gets Demistified, he becomes KGB: Kid Gone Bad! Huh? I'm telling you, I'm innocent! Tell it to the judge. No! No! No! Let go of me! Cut! Cut! Is the fleet ready? All we have to do is finish filling these last few dispensers with the mist and strap them to the storks. The birds! I mean... And strap them to this birds... And strap them to the birds! Put yourself in for a raise. Oh, I'd have to do that! Come on in. Let's talk about it. We'll see you on Monday. I thought I was terrific! Marker. I don't know the password! You can do it! D-D-D... - Run correctly... - Shh! Shh! - But... - Psh! What are you still doing here? Are you still here? OK. Uh... I'm going to ignore you till you leave. What are you laughing at? What are you laughing at? Sorry! I'm sorry! I'll have a grande vanilla mocha-choco sugar-free nonfat choco latte, extra hot, over ice with whipped cream and sprinkles. Oh, and do you have goat's milk? Sorry, fresh out. I'll have soy then. She'll have the same. Blended. Ew! Stop that. Go away now. Go away. Go away! Go on! Get out! |
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