Now I get it.
You're crazy!
Salaam Alaikum.
- You're a headcase. Get out.
Let me ask you something.
That's the last product, right?
I'm aching all over.
- I wrote it down here.
Our final price is 59.90.
I wrote it here.
That's the best we can do.
59.90. The usual price is 250.
I'll leave my notes here.
You crack me up. You're crazy.
- No lower than that, please.
You're such a headcase.
You got that, right?
We'll be on air in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Ladies and gentlemen...
...welcome to the show!
Nejat, Muzeyyen.
Everybody, tune in.
Let's pick up from
where we left off.
Are you all ready?
I can't hear you.
Are we ready to buy?
Are we ready?
Ready to pull out our purses
and pay?
Are we ready?
I'm Pinar, I'm your host.
Who's going to spend the most?
Like it?
- You're very witty, dear Pinar.
Ladies.
Today, I have with me...
Chairman of the Board
Of Osman Marketing Incorporated...
...Mr. Osman Sasmaz.
Osman, if I may.
What kind of bargains...
...do you have for us today?
Ladies, modern life
with all its stress...
...family problems, the hole
in the ozone layer...
... are a nightmare for hair.
- What about the product, sweety?
Many ladies are plagued
by baldness.
Who doesn't complain about it?
It's heartbreaking.
So, as Osman Marketing Inc...
...we've brought you a product
all the way from Sri Lanka.
Its color is particularly vivacious.
Spiral Bliss
Magic Blister Extra Wave.
Thanks to this product,
your hair will be more voluminous...
...and even more attractive.
- My goodness, dear Osman.
This product is spiral deluxe
magic blixter extra wow wow.
You mispronounced the whole name,
but never mind.
This is a fantastic product.
So Osman,
will it break the bank?
Pinar, I'll be honest.
To buy a product like this,
you have to pay a decent price.
But, as Osman Marketing Inc.,
We'd like to do your viewers a favor.
So, for your show,
we'll make an exception.
The usual price is 250 Liras...
...but for the first 100 callers,
the price is...
...whatever you say, Pinar.
You're on fire, Osman!
He's not just handsome.
He is sweet.
And he is generous.
Your eyes are like Cupid's arrows.
Twang!
You're killing me, Osman!
Yes.
- We're on fire.
So, Osman.
Let's repeat.
Ladies and gentlemen!
Listen up everybody!
Right now...
...the first 100 callers,...
...will get that product,
normally priced at 250 Liras,...
...for just 200 Liras.
That's too much.
- Of course it's too much.
Let's make it 150.
No, we have a reputation
to uphold.
So, I say 80, 90...
- Lower.
Shall we go lower than 100?
- Yes.
It's yours for just 39.90.
Let the madness begin!
No, not yet.
Not for 39. Go a little higher.
Remember, I wrote it down.
- For 19.90!
Does it say 19 there?
Look for yourself!
I wrote it.
- Great.
I wrote it. Not 19.
What are you doing, man?
What are you doing?
Are you goddamn crazy?
Get out!
Are you out of your mind?
Are you morons?
What the hell are you doing?
That's a wrap everyone!
- What kind of show is this?
You screwed us over! I wrote it down
for that broad to read.
It should have been 59.90.
- Look!
Don't call me a broad.
My feet are swollen as it is.
I'm exhausted.
Don't make me sew your mouth shut.
Read it properly then.
It says 59.90, not 19.
I misread it.
- How could you mistake 5 for 1?
Watch your words, you fool.
Don't piss me off.
Just now you were all smiles
and dancing like crazy.
But couldn't read a simple number.
Does it say 1 or 5?
I'm not wasting my time on you.
You're getting on my nerves.
Whoever made you the host...
Really, who gave her the job?
Is she the boss' girlfriend?
Is she sleeping with the boss?
I can't believe this.
We haven't sold many anyway.
Our satellite connection went down.
We sold 38 items.
- You've ruined me!
You sold 38 items at 19.90?
- Yes.
I pay 40 Liras for each of them.
40 Liras!
You sold 38 items at 19.90.
God damn you all, the whole crew!
Every one of you!
I've never seen such a channel
in my life!
God damn you all,
especially that woman!
Moron! She doesn't even
look at her notes.
Osman's here.
She dropped the price, the idiot.
Welcome, my handsome son.
Mashallah. I can't believe
I have such a handsome son.
All your aunties are here.
Auntie Asuman, Auntie Sevim.
Auntie Zeynep.
Even Songul is here.
Okay... hello,
Auntie Asuman.
Auntie Sevim, Auntie Zeynep.
Hello, Osman.
- Hi there, Songul.
One moment, mom.
Have you managed
to sell anything?
We've just gotten together.
We've been chatting.
I told them about the product but
they wanted to hear it from you.
How was the TV show?
Forget about the TV show, mom.
You have all these women here.
Surely you can sell some products.
They insisted on you explaining, son.
What can I do?
Let Osman do everything.
Why don't you do something?
But son, what can I do?
No offense, but you're a bit lazy.
Just a bit.
Okay, son.
Nothing bad happened, did it?
No, mom. Out of the way.
I'll be there in a sec.
I'll do the presentation.
- Okay.
So, my dear aunties.
Dear ladies. Can you tell me
the hairiest part of a woman?
Not the first place that comes to mind.
Of course not.
It's her hair. Because it has
the highest number of hair roots.
Men have hair on their chest,
women have hair on their head.
Women spend millions...
...on their haircare.
Why? So that you can have
well-groomed, shiny,...
...flawless, gorgeous hair.
But can you always achieve this?
Sometimes not.
Of course not. That's why
Osman Marketing Inc...
...has brought you
the perfect product...
...all the way from Sri Lanka, ladies.
Spiral Bliss Magic Blister
Extra Wave.
Now, I will pick one of you and...
...demonstrate the product on her.
Could you come here, sweety?
Take a seat. Okay.
Let's see how we use it.
Watch closely.
We take the hair.
We hold the handle here.
We apply the device like this
and open the device.
We place the hair inside it,
Horizontally.
And then we close the device.
My hand got a bit trapped.
Once we've closed the device,
we ask for a little help.
Plug that in, please.
You're so slow.
Your hands are sluggish.
See, the device is heating up.
It's heating up, yes.
It's really heating up.
Now you'll see
its amazing effect on the hair.
Osman, does it normally smoke like that?
No worries. It's to be expected.
The smoke is from the teflon
heating up. That's normal.
It smells awful.
That's the teflon.
It doesn't seem right.
Allah!
- You've burned her hair!
Her head's on fire!
Fire! Fire!
Sod you and your device!
What happened, abi?
You fucked up, Erkan.
I told you a hundred times.
Told you to add a transistor
to the device.
Do you think the voltage in Sri Lanka
and Turkey are the same?
Those poor guys use 80 volts. We have
a buttload of electricity. 220 volts.
It doesn't work this way.
It short circuits.
Look at my hands.
They've turned to coal.
My hands are all charred.
Who's going to pay the price?
Which of you idiots?
Losers.
Careless bastards!
Sorry, abi.
- As if that will help.
The device was plugged in.
We couldn't use water on it.
The woman's head caught fire.
I put it out with my hands.
Can you believe it?
One own-goal after another.
What the hell's going on?
A goal out of nowhere, Erkan,
when I wasn't expecting it.
I didn't expect that from you.
- What can I say, abi?
Should we put some cream on it, boss?
- What cream is that?
It's from Bangladesh.
Great stuff, boss.
It heals burns.
- Haten Long Cream.
Incredible sexy summer night
ejaculative.
It says "ejaculative".
Is this really for burns?
Yes, boss.
- Are you sure?
Yes, abi. Our guys tried it.
They said it worked.
You don't speak a word of English,
but you figured out the packaging.
Heals burns!
- What is it then, boss?
It says 'ejaculative'.
It's a diaper rash cream.
You almost had me put rash cream
on my hands.
You see these pictures, Erkan?
They're of top businessmen.
Yes, boss. I see them.
- Why are those guys successful?
Why?
- Because...
...they have great assistants.
Get it?
Why aren't we successful?
I can't hear you.
Why? Because my assistant is
a cretin like you.
Sure, abi.
- This Donald Trunt...
...said something important.
- What, boss?
Sometimes breaking prejudices is harder
than breaking heads.
I swear I'll smash your heads together
and break them!
Alright. Trust me.
Things will improve.
Where's all my stuff?
- Everything's ready, boss.
Here are the chocolates.
- Okay.
And here's the suit.
What the hell is this?
- A suit, boss.
I asked for mustard yellow.
What kind of suit is this?
That's what I told Haydar.
He said that
mustard was last year's color.
He recommended this.
He insisted.
Haydar said that?
- Yes.
So, because Haydar decided
it was last year's color...
...you bought that diarrhea-color suit
looking like someone has crapped on it.
Is that so?
- Haydar said...
What did he say?
- Nowadays, guys meeting girls' parents...
...all buy suits of that color.
And that's how they get their blessing.
Like Haydar would know that.
Haydar's been on a dry spell for 35 years.
And you get me a crappy suit.
Because of your fashion-advisor,
I'll meet her parents...
...wearing a shit-colored suit.
Boss, I had a hamper prepared
for the girl's family.
I put one of each of our products in it.
What did you put in it? What's this?
- Honey, boss.
For the girl's mother.
- If that's honey, you're a dummy.
Idiot! That's aphrodisiac honey.
I thought it was regular honey, boss.
You thought? Are you trying to
set my mother-in-law on me...
...in the middle of the night?
Do you want her to rape me?
You're not even familiar with
the product portfolio.
Remove this.
Take it away.
Put some nanofabrics
in the hamper.
The nanofabrics have just arrived.
They're downstairs.
Put some in the hamper.
Okay, abi.
Don't make me smash your face in.
My dear Serap.
It was delicious, thank you.
Uncle Riza. Osman
had a hamper prepared for you.
It contains everything
from slippers to honey.
Wow! Where did the honey come from?
I told you to remove it.
- I forgot, boss.
You're dead!
- That's fine. I like honey.
No, Uncle Riza.
It's not regular honey.
It's honey with a function.
Not really for you.
That's why I'll remove it.
Let me get it.
No, leave it there.
- You shouldn't...
I wish you didn't.
I'll leave it here, Uncle Riza.
I like honey, every kind.
God damn you!
- Boss, I forgot.
How the hell could you forget?
Well then.
Do go ahead.
Yes, we're gathered here...
...to discuss a propitious matter.
- What do you do for a living?
I'm in marketing, sir.
What do you market?
- Let me explain.
We are the distributor for the world's
biggest companies.
Especially for Asian firms.
We distribute their products in Turkey.
We look after maintenance and repairs.
Distribution, sales and imports.
Apart from that,
we have 321 patented products.
All of them our own creations.
100% Turkish genius and capital.
They are all ready to
hit the market.
So, their programming,
production and prototyping.
That's what we do.
What is?
I've just told you.
I've been talking for a minute.
I told you what we do and said,
"That's what we do".
So, that's it.
- What's your monthly income?
In terms of monthly income...
... we have no current earnings.
That is, zero. I'd be lying
if I said otherwise.
No need for lies.
We don't have any income now.
But that doesn't mean
we won't have an income.
We have products
ready to hit the market.
Here, 321 products.
Show him.
We are a company with high liquidity,
with great income potential.
Look especially
at the product on page 74.
We believe in that product.
It is wonderful.
I think it is the best in our catalogue.
We went down really well
in the recent fair.
What fair?
- Let me explain, Uncle Riza.
A fair for livestock breeding and
agricultural irrigation systems.
Well, the name of the fair
isn't inspiring.
It's not appealing,
Livestock Breeding and Irrigation...
But the fair itself was quite fruitful.
As you know, sir...
...defecation is the same
in man and animals.
Theirs is called dung,
ours is called poop.
That's the only difference.
From what I understand,
you don't have a job.
You don't have an income
or a company.
That's why
I don't want my daughter marrying you.
All these things
are just labels.
In my eyes, you are an idle waster
with no job and no income.
How can I let you marry my daughter?
You're living in a fantasy world.
You're living in a fantasy
that you've built.
But wait a second.
Doesn't everything start with dreaming?
Dreaming something is
half way to accomplishing it.
That's how it is.
Can you hold this, mom?
Let me put it to you
this way.
You say I don't have
a decent job...
... I'm living a fantasy.
What do you do?
We have a drapery shop.
- What if told you this?
That there is
a certain kind of fabric...
...that doesn't let water in or out.
I mean sweat and urine doesn't go out.
And no water comes in.
And I am the only distributor of
this nanofabric.
The only distributor on Earth.
What would you say to that?
- Waterproof fabric?
Yes, waterproof fabric.
Give me some, son.
This is nanofabric.
Here it is.
I can do a demonstration here right now...
...if you want me to.
I can prove it right away.
- Let's see.
Let's do it.
What do we have to lose?
Dear mother, can I have some water?
A big bucket.
Here we go.
And we've covered the ears.
Yes. Let's put the hood on.
We're all set.
I'll get the water.
Now, I'm going to
count down from three.
Then I'll throw the water at you.
Alright?
2. It's coming.
1. And yes.
Here we go.
Yes.
Good God!
- You see, it's bone dry.
Not a drop of water.
- Get out!
Get out of my house!
- But sir, your shirt is dry.
Listen to him!
Take your mother and father and leave!
Beat it! Forget about the fabric.
Don't show your face again.
What about Serap?
- Don't get me going!
Beat it!
- But the shirt is dry.
Get out. He's still talking.
You lazy son of a bitch.
God, please hear my prayers.
Give my son a kind bride.
Otherwise, he'll fall prey to wolves.
He's already fallen, Methiye.
He is bringing us down with himself.
Look at me.
Don't make me face
that disrespectful prick again.
Come with me, Erkan.
We've got things to do.
Sure, Uncle Saffet.
Erkan, I'll see you
at the office at 11.
Hi, Osman.
Hi, Auntie Methiye.
How are you?
- We're fine, my dear.
We are dealing with Osman.
How are you?
How are your parents?
- Thank you. They're fine.
There's a bring and buy sale
at the cultural center tomorrow.
I'll be there.
I thought I'd help.
I'd love to see you there,
Auntie Methiye.
I'll come with Osman.
Right, Osman?
Unfortunately, I can't make it.
I'll be very busy.
Osman.
- What can I do, mom?
Don't mind him, dear.
He's not coming, so what?
I'll definitely be there.
Take care.
Give my greetings to your mother.
- I will, Auntie Methiye.
I won't keep you any longer.
Osman. How's your hand?
Has it healed?
- There's nothing wrong with it.
It's fine. Thank you.
You could drop by the pharmacy tomorrow.
- I said thank you.
I said there's nothing wrong
with my hands. Thank you.
Go ahead.
- Get going, Osman.
Please.
- Okay. Have a nice day.
Have a nice day, dear.
I'm so fed up with her
acting like an angel.
She's so fake.
Crocodile tears.
Did you see that?
She's such a kind girl.
I was just praying to God and
He heard me.
She came right away.
She has such a warm heart. Doesn't she?
Mom, are you mentally or
emotionally damaged?
Which one? I told you.
Songul doesn't do anything for me.
I don't feel physical attraction.
She has chubby ankles.
Her ankles are like that.
I'm a man for love.
I'm in love with Serap.
A man for love, that's me!
Don't get me started on love.
He's a man for love!
First, be a man!
Let her be.
She can't be helped.
Be rational and mature.
Let's get you and Songul married.
Come here, Osman.
Where are you going?
Osman?
- Where the hell have you been?
I was here. What's up?
I told you to be here at 11.
Why are you late?
I wasn't late, boss.
- Shut up. Don't correct your boss.
No respect!
- Are you upset?
Yes, I'm upset.
I have a problem.
Of course I'm upset.
Because I'm upset,...
...I will take it out on you.
Aren't you my assistant?
Of course boss. Do you need to ask?
You are my "relief mechanism".
Who else can I relieve myself on?
Relieve yourself, boss.
- I will, don't worry.
Take a seat.
Take a seat.
Erkan, what that Riza guy said
really got to me.
It awakened the grizzly bear in me.
Made me roar like this.
I'm so wound up.
We need to get this company
up and running right away.
You hear me? We have major flaws
in our marketing strategy.
We're not getting through to the
end consumer. You aware of that?
Of course I'm aware.
The fuck you're aware, Erkan!
If you were,
we wouldn't be where we are.
People don't know us, Erkan.
What happens when they don't?
- What, boss?
They don't trust us.
- Right.
What arises when there's no trust?
What, boss?
- Mistrust.
What happens when there's mistrust?
What?
- Mistrust. So?
Right.
- I've told you ten times.
Right.
- So that you try and find trust.
But you couldn't find it.
- You're right, boss.
So, we have a trust problem.
- The problem is...
...we only advertise on local TV.
So we can only reach locals.
If we could advertise on national TV...
...we could solve this problem.
- Bravo, Erkan.
Don't mention it, boss.
What's your name?
- Erkan, boss.
Come over here.
You idiot!
We advertise on local TV because
their hourly rate is 10 Liras.
Do you know how much it is
on national TV?
They're waiting for our call, are they?
- How about we try this?
We don't advertise but we place our
products in TV shows with high ratings.
Product placement strategy, boss.
Tell me more.
- I will.
Let's say, you
and I are on a TV show.
It has top ratings and
we take a product with us.
Honey, for example.
We jump on the stage.
We tell the host we are big fans.
"We brought this product for you."
- Yes.
Visibility and advertisement
for free, boss.
You started off well but
ended awfully.
You come up with a good idea
but then screw up in the end.
I came up with the idea.
It's your job to develop it.
Naturally.
You came up with it
and I'll develop it.
Know why?
- Why?
I'm the boss.
I'm the CEO.
You're an employee,
I'm the CEO.
CEO?
- Yes.
CEO?
- The English pronunciation is C E O.
Got it.
- It's that simple.
I've even made a list of the shows
we'll attend...
...on a mental Ezcel sheet.
What do you have in mind?
We'll reach millions, man!
Millions.
Welcome to the show.
Hello.
- How are you?
Fine thanks. How are you?
- Great. Thank you.
We have a patient.
Let's meet him right away.
He's been suffering from hernia
for 14 years.
Put your hands together
for Mr. Osman Sasmaz.
Careful, Osman.
- Careful.
Careful, Osman.
Are you okay?
- Yes.
Take care!
- I will... Yes.
Would you like to sit down?
- No, I'm fine.
I'll put my bag here.
- We'll get that.
You're really in an awful condition.
Are you okay?
- I can't move.
Should we help you sit down?
Okay, that's better.
I feel alright when it's back in its place.
Poor you!
What are we going to do, doctor?
He's in a dreadful state.
Osman can barely stand up.
I've never seen Mr. Sasmaz before.
First, let me examine you.
Then we'll go into details.
Can you lie down?
I've been in agony
for 14 years, doctor.
It's been an uphill struggle, ma'am.
I've seen so many doctors
in the last 14 years.
It shows.
My muscles spasm.
Spasm like this.
I'm in agony.
Would you lie down, please.
Careful.
- Are you okay?
But, Osman...
Yes.
Great, now lie down.
- Okay, I'm lying face up.
Relax and let me examine you.
- Okay.
How is this?
- Allah!
Wait, does this...
- Allah!
Are you okay?
- It hurts, doctor.
It hurts so much!
Is this level of pain normal?
Is it usual, doctor?
It's killing me, doc!
With so much loss in muscle strength,
how can you even walk?
Aytug, help me up.
- Okay, here we go.
I've never come across
that amount of pain.
Yes, I've been suffering
for 14 years.
What are we going to do?
Are you going to operate on me?
First, we need to get an MRI.
He's obviously in a lot of pain.
- You can tell from his face.
Take a note, 3,000 Liras.
- Surgery is the only choice.
Surgery, that's another 15,000 Liras.
20,000 Liras in total.
Wait. Our doctor's here to help you.
That's not right.
You're misleading the viewers.
You put 20 grand on my tab.
You just ruined me.
20 bloody grand!
I don't understand.
What are you saying?
3 thousand for MRI and
15 for the surgery. 20 in total.
No, it's not like that.
Our doctor is here
to help you.
Maybe surgery isn't necessary.
I brought this bag with me.
Can you give me that?
- What's in the bag?
Give it to me and I'll show you.
Everyone should see.
Well. Here it is.
Here it is.
- What is it, Osman?
Here it is, everybody.
- What is it?
A hernia belt.
- A hernia belt?
Of course. You see
I've been suffering for 14 years.
So I found my own remedy.
I imported this all the way from
Bangladesh...
...the land of Buddha...
- Does it work?
From Bangladesh, the home of Buddhism.
Of course it works.
All those magnetic balls.
Here you go.
Look at these magnetic balls.
Let the audience see them.
You can touch it.
Genuine gazelle leather.
Look. I'm putting it on...
...putting it on.
Now look.
Remember how I entered the studio?
What will happen when you put it on?
- Look, I've put it on.
Do you see that?
Look at me now.
You can see its effect right away.
What do you mean?
- Look, I'm up and about.
Yes.
- I'm up and about. Look.
Look, I'm dancing.
Take it easy.
Careful, Osman.
Can you see that?
Can you see that?
I'm bouncing like a ball.
Please be careful.
- Careful, Osman.
Look, I'm back.
Allah!
Osman.
Amazingly, the belt cured the hernia
just like that.
Look how I'm dancing.
- What a belt!
Come here. Look.
Hola samba.
What are you doing, Osman?
- Spin around yourself.
Do you see that?
- Is this all the beIt's work?
Yes, it's the belt.
Of course it's the belt.
Look, ladies.
The street price of this hernia belt
is 150 Liras.
Osman Marketing Inc. is offering it to you
for just 19.90.
Osman, we're live on air.
- Call us on 0212 44 OSMAN.
And you'll get the belt for just...
Can we get Osman off the stage?
- Here is the belt.
This is a live broadcast.
The belt.
Can I ask you to please stand up?
Put your hands together and
let's slide back the screen.
Surprise!
Hello, Osman.
- Yes.
So, how are you?
- Okay thanks.
But dear Sinem, let's thank the gentleman
for coming all the way here.
Sorry but...
...my answer is no.
No problem. Of course,
you were shocked when you saw me.
I said no. You heard me, right?
- She's in shock.
She doesn't know what she's saying.
No problem.
I'll just explain something.
If she still says no,
that's okay.
Sinem, I was also very hopeful
about what was behind the screen.
Then came the disappointment.
Up close, she's all wrinkled.
With all her wrinkles,
I don't want her either.
She's all shrivelled, as if she's been
in water for 5 hours.
After a certain age,
those wrinkles are to be expected.
And the lady is a certain age.
So, wrinkles are normal.
Look here.
Do you see these?
Because of gravity,
she's like a bulldog...
...slobbering all over the place.
- Come on.
But ladies, is this a problem?
Certainly not. Because Osman Marketing
brings you a product from Thailand.
Dermo Skin Care Active Tonic cream.
The market price is 80 Liras.
But we'll let you have it
for only 15 Liras.
Come on.
- Let's see how it works.
What are you doing?
- Can you hold this?
Now, we are going to apply this.
- Security!
That's how we apply it.
Get him out!
- Applying it to the entire face.
Where's security?
Get him out of the studio.
Active Tonic Cream
from Dermo Skin Care.
15 Liras.
Now Osman is claiming that
something terrible happened to him.
Horrible.
- Yes. Your brother-in-law...
His name is Erkan Cetin, isn't it?
Yes. Jackass Erkan Cetin.
He has three names.
No profanity, please.
Erkan Cetin stabbed you 17 times.
Is that correct?
Correct, ma'am.
- You had a lot of cash on you.
He took all that too.
Took my money and ran away.
Okay.
Let's get Erkan Cetin on the line.
Hello, Erkan.
Can you hear us?
Yes, I can hear you, Mine.
I can hear you now.
- Erkan, tell us what happened.
What happened that day and
what this dispute is all about?
The man sitting next to you
has no honor.
I don't want to talk to him.
Like I want to talk to you!
You asshole!
Prick.
You are the asshole!
- Calm down!
Shut up, you jerk!
- You shut up!
Shut your trap!
- Erkan, we're all ears.
Yes, go ahead.
- Mine, it was around 14::30.
I left for his apartment.
I knocked and he opened the door.
He had this lame expression on his face.
It got on my nerves.
The expression on his face, I mean.
So, without even saying hello...
...I just punched him in the face.
He started swearing at me.
He looked me in the eye and
said this...
Osman Sasmaz,
Fuck your whole fucking family.
Osman, this is live television.
- You bloody liar!
Erkan, wait.
- You bloody liar!
Isn't that what you said?
I didn't, you jerk.
- Osman, what did I just say?
Okay, I'm not saying anything bad.
I'm just talking to him.
I'm talking to him.
- You'll have our channel shut down.
I'm not saying anything.
- Leave out the swearwords.
Okay, I will.
- He swore.
He said he'd fuck my family.
What did I just say?
No swearing.
He's a jackass.
- No bad language.
Mind your language or
I'll have your granny!
Osman, what did I just say?
- Mine, you heard what he said.
He's provoking me.
- No swearing.
Don't swear.
- Don't you either.
Jackass!
- Look, he swore.
You're a jackass with no honor.
- Erkan, what did I say?
He's swearing.
- No swearing.
Don't you hear the woman,
you son of a bitch!
She says no swearing.
- What did I say, Osman?
You are also swearing.
- Sorry, I was acting for you.
Don't.
You'll have our channel shut down.
Okay, no swearing.
- Let's calm down.
Okay, so tell me all about it.
Mine, Erkan asked for proof.
Well, here's the proof.
- This?
That's the proof.
I brought this as proof.
Let all the audience see it.
He stabbed me with this knife.
It's huge.
Will you look at this?
- Is this it?
Yes. This is it.
I'll show it to everyone.
Here it is.
It's enormous.
You agree it's huge,
right?
It's longer than 20 centimetres.
You'd know better.
It really is a big knife.
Made of stanless steel.
Stanless steel.
100 percent steel.
The blade is laser-cut.
Laser-cut.
And what did I tell you?
He stabbed me ten times. Didn't feel a thing.
I just felt the last two.
The knife slips in and out smoothly.
Why should we care about the quality?
Because the knife is good quality,
it glides through meat.
It goes in and out
as if through butter.
Goes in, goes out.
You barely feel it.
He stabbed me ten times.
I only felt the last two.
How is that relevant?
The knife is great quality.
Its market price is 80 Liras.
Ladies love it.
The blade is laser-cut.
It's called Miracle Knife.
What are you talking about?
- Miracle Knife.
But Osman Marketing are selling it...
- Osman, what are you talking about?
...for only 40 Liras.
- He's just here to advertise.
Take him away.
- 0212 44 OSMAN.
Take him away now!
- I have a knife.
I have a knife.
- Lift him up.
I have a knife, please.
- Move, move.
Yes, ladies.
Buy three and get one free.
For 39.90. Miracle--
We appeared on all those shows.
Still no orders, Erkan?
How are we doing?
Fill me in, man.
We have received orders.
Six for the cream, four for the knife.
Also, 22 orders for the hernia belt.
- Good.
We've started production of the belts.
Halil the Leatherman is doing it.
As for the knives,
we had five samples.
So we sent them.
- Okay, that's taken care of.
Erkan, aren't we done yet?
It's burning.
Kazim,
what have you put on your head?
When we got orders for the cream,
we asked Songul for advice.
You know, she's a pharmacist.
She said to never send out the product
before testing it first.
She told us to try it for a while
on thin and hairless skin.
His head was ideal.
Thin, hairless skin.
So, I thought we'd test it
on Kazim.
And he let us use his head for free.
Nice guy.
We appreciate it.
How long have you had it on your head?
Two days.
- It's been two days?
It's been two days.
I'm sick of it.
Have you felt nausea?
- No, but it burns.
That's normal.
Any dizziness?
No.
- Vomiting?
No.
- Diarrhea? Wetting or pooping your pants?
No.
- Could you hold your pee while sleeping?
Yes.
- Morning erection?
No.
- Did you apply the cream anywhere else?
Think.
- No, I didn't.
For jerking off?
- No.
Good. Burning is normal.
You see, it makes your skin peel.
It has a peeling effect.
Removes the dead skin.
You probably have a lot of dead skin,
given your age.
So, no problem.
You can just scrape it off.
Very good.
Thanks a lot.
Not the ideal subject. Even asphalt
wouldn't leave a scratch on his head.
He has the head of a dinosaur.
Put the cream in tubes and pack them off.
Osman, Osman.
- What's up, Mustafa?
Osman, I hate to tell you.
But Serap is hooking up with another guy.
Watch your language!
How can you say such a thing about her?!
Didn't your parents teach you manners?
What kind of a generation are you?
What kind of an education system is this?
Get the fuck out of here!
Don't annoy me!
Why are you swearing at me?
- I can and I will. Beat it!
Look at your haircut!
Scram!
That little bastard
distracted me.
Let's check the camera footage.
- Okay.
Wait, password.
Okay. Thank God we set up a hidden camera.
Now, we're going to see it all.
Let's take a look.
Oh my God, she's really hooked up.
She's hooked up. For sure.
- Who is this guy?
Look at him. And he drives a jeep.
God damn it.
Do you see what's going on?
See what I'm up against?
What are you doing, Serap?
Erkan, what's going on here?
Who is that guy?
Where the hell
did he come from, Erkan?
What are you up to, Serap?
I'll zoom in on them.
Look at him.
Look at that guy!
Look at the mug on him.
Who is that?
I swear I don't know him.
- I'll take a picture.
So that I have it on record.
Okay. Look.
I froze it right here, alright?
Fucking jackass!
Whatever, look.
I want you to find out everything
you can about this swine.
Whatever you say.
- Where he was born, where he grew up.
What schools he went to,
where he bought that car.
What he had for lunch,
how he crapped at night.
I want to know everything.
- Okay.
Don't worry.
- Sit down and research.
Salaam alaikum.
- Alaikum salaam.
Salaam alaikum.
Isn't your father at home,
Uncle Riza I mean?
Does it look like he is?
God, you're so beautiful today.
Gorgeous. And you have your sweater on.
What is it? Tricot or lambswool?
- Not lambswool.
100 per cent cashmere.
- Cashmere, yes.
Very nice. It would look perfect
with a pencil skirt and stilettoes.
You have style.
What's up? You're a bit tense today.
I was checking the camera footage.
Looking at my folks.
I guess one of your cousins
dropped you off. Who is he?
What cousin? Why would you think
he's my cousin?
Your cousin driving that jeep.
It must be your cousin.
Do I have to explain to you
who he is?
Too right you do, Serap.
Wouldn't you be jealous
if a beautiful woman dropped me off?
Not at all.
- You wouldn't be shocked?
You wouldn't feel anything?
- No, I wouldn't. What's it to me?
It wouldn't bother you at all??
Why should I care, Osman?
Are you crazy or what?
I care about you, Serap.
I'm sorry.
I don't like that kind of thing
when I'm in a relationship.
Osman, what relationship?
Serap, a romantic relationship.
Didn't I come here
to get your father's blessing?
You made coffee for me.
Have you forgotten all this?
You asked for his blessing.
He said no. It's over.
Let it go.
How could l, my one and only?
He didn't say no.
He told me to get my business
going and then come back.
I'm like Turkey trying to become
an EU member.
Negotiations are ongoing.
Sometimes they say yes, sometimes no.
One minute we're about to get in.
The next minute we're out. Like that.
Turkey an EU member.
Dream on.
Dream on about marrying me too.
If you were man enough,
you would have got the blessing.
If you were man enough, you'd be
driving me around in a jeep.
What kind of materialistic, superficial,...
... experimental bullshit is that?
Where do you learn to talk like that?
From TV series?
Did you lift those lines
from Magnificent Century?
Don't resist me, like Hurrem Sultan.
I will marry you.
I'll show the entire world
who Osman Sasmaz is.
First I'll get my company
riding high.
Then, I'll pick you up from here
in a lace wedding gown.
My name is Osman Sasmaz.
You're forgetting who I am, darling.
You with your upturned nose.
You're forgetting who I am.
You'll be mine.
You'll be mine.
- You wish.
By the way, when are you going
to accept my friend request on Facebook?
I've been poking you for a year.
Enough is enough.
My list is full, darling.
- How can it be full?
You have two thousand friends.
Okay, I'll add you.
Now, please leave. I'm busy.
Come on.
- You promised to add me.
Don't forget.
You'll be mine.
Heart. My heart misses you. See.
You'll be mine.
Do you see that?
You'll be mine.
I'll marry you.
You'll so be mine.
- Yeah. Sure.
Come on, go. Ciao.
Don't forget.
You'll be mine.
I swear it.
Osman? Osman?
- Yes.
How are you? Are you okay?
- I'm fine. How are you?
I'm also fine. You didn't show up
yesterday. Wish you had.
Oh. The bring and buy sale.
How could I forget?
Must have slipped my mind.
How much did you raise?
3-4 thousand.
- Nice. Good for you.
Osman, I sent you a friend request
on Facebook.
You haven't accepted it yet.
- My list is full, Songul.
If I had room,
I'd definitely add you.
Don't you have only 63 friends?
Yes, I'm using the Facebook Gold Package.
It only allows 60 friends.
Next month, I'll transfer to
the Platinum 90 Package.
I'll add you then. I got
three bonuses with the Gold Package.
They got filled too.
What can you do?
Do you need anything?
- No, thanks.
Take care, then.
Haven't you found anything on
that jerk chasing after Serap?
We have, boss.
Here's what we have.
The name of this jerk
is Yagiz Dankli.
You could describe him
as a playboy.
At least that's what
he looks like.
He's a filthy rich son of a bitch.
I mean, his father's dirty rich.
His dad's Yilmaz Dankli...
...the owner of the biggest
electric heater brand in the country.
This guy's dad?
- Yes, boss.
I have to say this.
But if I were Uncle Riza,
I'd marry my daughter off to this jerk.
What the hell are you saying?
Do you hear what you're saying?
Is money everything, Erkan?
What about kindness?
What about honor?
- Boss, you misunderstand me.
I said, "If I were Uncle Riza".
If it were me, you'd get the girl.
- Cut the crap.
You can't find a woman,
so you're shagging each other?
Don't stoop so low,
Ismail.
I'm just joking.
Winding you up.
What kind of joke is that?
Have some decency.
What's up with you?
Are you working for Burger Man?
Yes, I started two days ago.
I work here.
What is your son Erdinc up to?
He was doing his military service.
- He's fine.
He's completed his service.
He's working as a waiter.
In a big events company.
- What exactly does he do?
In two days,
the company's organizing a lounge party.
They're busy with the preparations.
Dry-runs and stuff.
Very exciting.
A lounge party?
- Yes, in Istanbul.
A lounge party.
- Could it be a 'launch' party?
Yes, an opening party.
It will be a big ceremony.
So, where is this 'lounge' party,
as you put it?
At one of those residences
by the Bosphorus.
All the famous businesspeople,...
...pop singers, doctors, soccer players
will be there.
I didn't make any more of it.
Just wished him good luck.
He is very excited, very enthusiastic.
You should see him.
I've made more of it.
I really like the picture you've painted.
Do you have an address?
- Sorry, I don't.
We shouldn't speak too long.
The boss has his eyes on me.
He'll scold me in front of everyone.
Good night.
I hope the boss scolds you.
You know the saying?
Get the news from the idiot.
He spilled out everything.
Every single thing. See?
Yes, boss.
- We have to be at that party.
Istanbul's high society,
top businesspeople,...
... arty-farty types.
They're all going to be there.
Don't worry.
We'll figure out a way to get in.
Come here.
Welcome to heaven, man.
Take a look around.
All the big shots.
Yes.
By the way, congratulations!
You picked a smart suit.
You hit the bull's eye this time.
It really suits you.
Isn't that Demet Akalin?
- Sure is.
Wow.
That woman is
rolling in money.
Say hello to our future investor.
Let's give it a shot.
How gorgeous can a lady be?
Is this a princess I see before me?
I can't believe my eyes.
It's Demet Akalin.
I'm a huge fan.
Let me introduce myself.
I'm Osman Sasmaz,
CEO of Osman Marketing and...
...chairman of the board.
This is my assistant, Erkan.
Ms. Akalin,
I'm your biggest fan.
I don't allow my guys to play
anyone else's music at the holding.
Demet Akalin, night and day.
Everyone's dancing.
Like this.
I'm fighting my destiny.
Ever longing for company.
I live in a fantasy where I'd be...
...married with kids and happy.
That's how we sing along.
We also love your song about Bebek.
We get carried away at the holding.
By the way, I have to say this.
You have such elegant style.
That dress is perfection.
This combination is flawless.
The stilettoes are invisible yet fab.
Rihanna has a pair too.
I saw them in New York.
I saw her from behind.
Thank you, Osman.
You're very kind.
You're welcome.
This is your assistant, I take it.
No, I'm her manager.
You're her manager, huh?
Don't make me laugh.
Your profession doesn't matter,
young lady.
Being a decent human being
is all that matters.
I'm also a boss but
I've never lost my integrity.
Why don't you exchange contact information?
Maybe we could have you perform
at a family wedding.
Please come with me.
Dear Demet, I'd like to
talk to you in private.
First, let me present you
my business card.
I can have yours
if you have one on you.
I'd like to talk to you
regarding a private matter.
I won't take up much of your time.
- If it won't take too long.
I won't take long.
Demet, dear, do you invest?
I have some modest investments,
like in real estate.
I didn't mean real estate.
Investing in real estate is easy.
Think big.
You're making millions
in the music business.
When the money's flowing in,
you should invest.
Pop singers like you make good money
when they're young.
But you should think about tomorrow.
Think about your idol.
Ajda Pekkan. You'd be shocked
to hear about her investments.
She has a dam in Manisa Aksu.
- A dam?
Yes, she invested in a dam.
She invested in hydroelectric energy.
When the water flows,
the money flows too.
You should find a way
to keep your money flowing.
I have 321 patented products.
Let's Iaunch these products together.
7 or 8 are about to hit the market.
Let's go for it, you and l.
Mr. Osman, I don't know
the first thing about business.
Music is my business.
I give concerts and make money.
Why don't you find another investor?
- You're the investor I'm looking for.
An angel investor, doesn't understand
business, invests bucketsful.
So, doesn't understand business,
invests bucketsful. An angel investor.
Let me help you with that.
- Where have you been, son?
We're talking business here.
Go get us some drinks.
I'll have a Bloody Mary.
What would you like to drink?
What the hell are you talking about?
You think I'm a waiter?
I'm her husband, Okan Kurt.
When did you get married, lady?
Now I recognize you.
So you're the guy who bought
hundreds of her tickets. How are you?
Okay. How are you?
Thanks. We were talking about investing.
Why don't we go outside
and I'll invest a few punches in you?
Behave yourself or I'll have you behave.
- What did I say?
You know.
- What?
Let's go, darling.
- I know what?
I swear, I didn't understand zilch.
Why are you so pissed at me, Okan Kurt?
Where are your manners?
- What's the matter, boss?
Did they like any of our products?
- No. I was just talking to Demet...
... when Mr. Ticket got pissed and
took her away.
Whatever. Let's walk up to
those big shots over there.
So, I said, "l got you by the balls."
God, you're such a funny guy.
You said balls, didn't you?
Very humorous. Perfect.
Does anyone know this guy?
What's your name?
- Osman Sasmaz.
Osman Sasmaz.
Never heard the name.
Of course you haven't, shorty. Check out
Forbass' Top 50 billionaires list.
Gentlemen, these kinds of events
always open doors for new partnerships.
Now I'll tell you
about an incredible project.
We all fly abroad, to Europe, don't we?
For all sorts of purposes.
For business, for philandering.
You know what I'm talking about.
We all fly abroad.
What's the biggest problem?
- Why don't you just tell us?
We're dying to know.
- Personal hygiene.
After a number two, do you feel clean
if you just wipe?
We're always told, "Let's adopt
the virtues of the West."
Pardon my French, but those guys
walk around with poop in their butts.
Forgive my bluntness.
A friend from Germany came over to visit.
He is the director of a big company.
I took him to a Turkish bath.
He was wearing a white slip.
It caught my eye.
A massive skid mark.
All that poop in his butt
left a huge footprint on the slip.
I had him sit on the bidet, turned on
the tap. He washed it all away.
He was so relieved, so happy.
Now I'll tell you something fascinating.
Osman Marketing Inc. has developed
a fantastic device for this need.
A portable bidet.
Show it.
You'll be amazed.
We have faith in this, especially
in the design. Design is everything.
Do you see the notched-edge hand?
I had it made from silicone.
The middle finger is intentionally
longer. Look at the notching.
Completely portable.
Pop it in your suitcase.
Insert it, sit on it and
wash it all away.
Look. I press the button.
Look. Do you see this?
All of you, look.
Do you see this?
Such relief!
Gentlemen, you've seen the device.
I'm asking for 30 thousand Liras.
For an 80% share of the company.
Now you've got ME by the balls.
You're such a loser.
Saying the same thing over and over.
How about 10 thousand Liras
for a 90% share of the company?
Okay?
You didn't like the device?
Apparently, you like to walk around
with skid marks.
Okay, another product.
Take this one away.
What do we all have in common,
gentlemen?
The rich, the poor,
white-collars and blue-collars?
Think. Use your heads.
I'll tell you.
Everybody farts.
It's a fact. Farting is universal.
We all fart.
It has nothing to do with money.
So, what does farting result in?
A foul smell, right?
When the rich fart,
it smells even worse.
Because they consume fine meats,
their farts stink worse.
The poor fart and it smells of beans
because that's all they can afford.
The rich eat meat all the time.
Veal, pork, all kinds of meat.
So, their farts smell like
rotting carcasses.
That's why I developed a product...
... intended to block foul smells.
Pass it to me please.
What is this?
It's a slip, isn't it?
Please pay attention
to the rear.
Here. Do you see that?
What happened?
Can you see?
We added a cartridge right here,
where the fart comes out.
The cartridges are replaceable.
We offer all kinds.
Natural aromas such as pomegranate,
orange and apple.
Or you can put in naphthalene.
It'll keep moths away from your anus.
It's simplicity itself.
The aroma I prefer is
fresh mountain air.
When I break wind,
there's Everest for you.
So, I'm asking for just 35 thousand
for an 85% share of the company.
That's enough, pal.
- Please.
Leave before we call security.
Fine. 5 thousand for
95% of the shares.
It's the perfect gadget.
It's going to be a big hit!
Okay, my final offer.
You'll regret turning this down.
Last chance. 5 thousand Liras.
For 95% of the shares.
Going to be a big hit.
Fine! 2,500 Liras for 97.5%.
Let's go.
- I said 2.5 grand, jerks!
Give me fucking anything.
You spend more on deodorant!
You fucking schmucks!
Enough is enough. Keep your grots.
I'll punch you in the head.
You got him by the balls!
You know what really bothers me?
What, boss?
Those prototypes are gone.
We don't have any spares, do we?
- Unfortunately not.
If an investor walked in right now,
we'd have nothing to show.
Nothing.
How much more csn we take?
We're always messing up.
I'm going to go insane.
We're doing all we can.
Some things are just
not meant to be.
They have to be!
They have to be!
I don't believe in that
"just not meant to be" crap.
They will be!
Go and form
a research and development team.
Research and development?
- Yes.
I want smart, slanty-eyed,
creative techno wizards.
I want an R&D team with
Asian members, from the Far East.
Understood, boss. Got it.
I'll get to work right away.
- Get going.
Up! Go! Quick!
- Erkan, my son.
You haven't finished your meal.
- I can't stay any longer, auntie.
Osman gave me a task.
I need to take care of it.
I have saddled that donkey
with an assignment, mom.
He needs to take care of it.
We're forming an R&D team.
We're forming a team.
- What's an R&D team?
If you're going to form something,
form a family first.
Settle down with a girl like Songul.
She is such a devoted,
true-hearted girl.
I wish she were my daughter-in-law.
Again, you found a way to
bring up Songul, mom.
Unbelievable.
- You bonehead! She'll slip away.
I told you mom.
She doesn't do anything for me.
You and the entire village...
...are devoted to fixing me up
with that spinster.
Why should I be miserable, mom?
Why shouldn't I have
a crazy sex life?
Don't let Songul slip away.
Can I eat this kebab in peace please?
Go ahead.
- Will you let me eat in peace?
Yes.
It's gone cold anyway.
Stand over there, guys.
Form a line.
A straight line.
Stand over there.
Come over here.
Here.
Who are these guys, Erkan?
- Our new R&D team.
They're all geniuses, boss.
Really smart.
I told you to find me Asian guys.
Are these guys from the Far East?
They're Asian.
What kind of Asians?
I told you to get me slanty-eyed Koreans.
They're Asian. This guy's from Pakistan.
Where's Pakistan?
In Asia. His name is Aaruj.
Worked at a carpet shop in Grand Bazaar.
In Pakistan, he was
an electrical engineer.
This guy, an engineer?
- Yes.
Electrical engineer?
- Yes.
Engineer? Electrical?
- Yes.
Engineering?
- Yes.
Mechanical?
- Yes, mechanical.
Industry?
- Yes.
He says yes to everything. This kid is
an idiot. Not perceptive at all.
He is brilliant, boss. He wired up
a system at his workplace.
Thanks to him, his boss didn't pay
a dime for electricity.
Are you serious?
Yes, boss.
- I like him already.
This one?
- He is Asian too.
From Afghanistan.
His name's Ebu El Falik.
He was a design specialist
in Afghanistan.
This guy?
- Yes.
A design specialist in Afghanistan?
- Yes.
He's a design fault himself.
Just look at him.
I'm not big on him.
That one?
He is from the charming Asian country
of India.
His name's Sidrid. Used to
make sandwiches in a kiosk.
I told you to get me kids
from the Far East.
Told you to form an R&D team.
I wanted slanty-eyed whizz-kids.
You brought me all these dim-wits.
But boss, you're very prejudiced.
Maybe towards those guys.
Is that guy really from Asia, too?
Yes boss. He's from Central Asia.
He's an Uyghur Turk.
That guy?
Yes.
- An Uyghur Turk?
Yes.
- Our ancestors were Uyghur Turks, Erkan.
Butthead. Are our ancestors black?
Can a black guy be an Uyghur Turk?
He is an Uyghur Turk. I swear.
Speak, son.
I'm a genuine UyghurTurk.
I come from the Ural region.
I know Uyghur poems by heart.
I drink kumiss, carry a sword.
I ride a horse and shoot arrows.
He memorized all that
to get through customs.
He can't fool me.
We're children of Anatolia.
We don't buy that.
Where are you really from?
What's your name?
My name's Asso Maya Eke Chukusaruan
Emmame Gent Murleka.
See? I cracked him with one question.
What's your name?
Erkan.
- What's my name?
Osman.
- And what's his name?
Asamuu obuchuku kubu chubu.
Does that sound Turkish?
Look, son.
You're applying for a job.
Don't lie.
These are the first steps in your career.
Make the right moves.
Where are you from? Kenya?
Allah Allah! He doesn't believe me.
Boss, my family are in the Urals.
Who's this?
- My family.
That's my mom.
- Your dad?
That's my dad.
- Your sister?
Here.
- Your grandfather?
Here.
Yes.
He so resembles his parents.
Apparently they have
black baby scandals in the Urals too.
Or his father
had an African adventure.
No other explanation.
Your family picture
half-convinced me, son.
But I'm still not entirely sure.
If you're really an Uyghur Turk,...
...then, you should be familiar with
Turkish folklore and culture.
I sure am.
Would you show us some folk dancing then?
Of course.
- Let's see it.
Look, he brought a tape.
Uyghur!
Bravo.
Back in line.
Well, Erkan. I'm now convinced.
This kid is an Uyghur Turk.
Otherwise he wouldn't be able to
pull this off.
This dance is inherited through genes.
No other way to pull it off.
That's not his only skill, boss.
Back in his country
he was a brain expert.
He studied neurology
at Samarkand University.
Yes, neurology.
He is a brain expert.
Okay, got it.
Come here.
How much did you offer them?
- 15-20 Liras per day.
Holy shit! You got millions
I don't know about?
You need to learn some accounting.
Give them 7 Liras.
They'll be fine with it. Okay?
Boss, these guys will agree.
But that one won't.
The Turk says he won't work
for any less than 20.
He's Turkish.
What do you expect?
Always money-oriented.
Not work-oriented. Money-oriented.
Then they moan about unemployment.
Alright. Give him 20.
Pay the others less.
Give them 3.5 Liras per day. Okay?
Let's get to work, guys.
Happily work.
Happily work.
You're all hired, guys.
We are going to work together.
We are going to work hard!
So, let's get down to work.
It says here that
protesters blocked the traffic.
Police used pepper spray and
some protesters passed out.
Well, if they block the traffic,
what else can the police do?
The police are the victims here.
What can they do?
You know what?
International forces are
behind these protests.
It's all the work of global powers
playing with our country.
Those protests wouldn't be held if...
- Osman Abi.
What's up, Erkan? What's this?
- Boss, we developed a magnificent device.
I couldn't wait, so I came running.
What kind of device, Erkan?
What is the most common occurrence
in our country?
Sex.
- Not that, boss. Not that.
Don't mumble.
Spit it out. What device?
Pepper-blocker.
- Pepper-blocker?
Yes, boss. Let me explain.
When there is a protest, the police
fire pepper spray at protesters.
Yes?
That's where our new device comes in.
You see those two solutions
in the tubes.
We spray the mixture into our eyes.
We spray twice into our eyes.
It reverses the effect
of the pepper spray.
It relieves the pain in our eyes.
What did you put in it? Lemon and milk?
- We had the pharmacy prepare a solution.
What do you think, boss?
- I like it.
I like it a lot.
I congratulate you and
the entire R&D team.
I want to kiss you all.
You know what? I've just come up with
a sales strategy.
What kind of strategy?
- I'll be the king of on-the-spot selling.
All we need is a crowded protest.
Place an order for 100 pepper-blockers.
Once a protest breaks out,
we're going to strike gold.
We're going to strike gold
live on air.
No fur! No fur!
No fur! No fur!
We support you, my friends!
We, Osman Marketing Inc. stand with you
in your just struggle.
Now, repeat after me!
We sell fur! We wear fur!
Victory is ours!
We sell fur! We wear fur!
Victory is ours!
Boss, I think this might be
an anti-fur protest.
The placards say "No Fuf".
You brought us to an anti-fur protest
wearing fur?!
God damn you!
They'll rip us to pieces!
Calm down, comrades.
Are you insane, man?
You came to an anti-fur protest
with fur on?
Get the hell out of here!
Please, comrades.
Can you hear me out first?
Don't be quick to judge.
Do you think we're so dumb
to wear fur to an anti-fur protest?
Of course not.
We were just staging a scene.
We are against fur, too.
Down with fur sellers!
Down with them all!
Either they're provocateurs
or they're undercover or they're morons.
We'll see in a minute.
When we engage,
arrest those two first.
Yes, sir.
You two in the middle,
stop your protest!
Or we'll have to step in.
- Officer.
We are going to do something.
We only need five minutes.
I'm going to do something.
Listen, comrades.
In a few minutes,
they're going to use pepper gas.
To help you avoid any burns
to the face, the eyes,...
...Osman Marketing Inc. brings you
the perfect device.
Hand it to me.
Yes.
Pepper-blocker.
Developed by an R&D team.
100 per cent Turkish genius and capital.
Now, let me show you how it works.
I'll be needing a volunteer.
How about you?
Hold this, son.
This way please.
Hi. Your name?
- Engin.
We've never met before, have we?
Correct.
- Hand me the pepper gas.
What you see here is pepper gas.
The real deal.
Now, in case you don't believe me,
I'll test it on him.
It's burning!
Good.
Wait a second. As you can see,
it is the real deal.
Now, I'm putting this device
on my head.
I'm going to spray myself too.
The same pepper gas.
Spray, Erkan.
See? It's gone.
Do you see that?
Completely eradicated.
Any pain? None.
Our friend cried out like a baby
when he was sprayed.
Look at me now. Nothing.
Now, I'll let you have this
for 100 Liras.
Form a line now.
Here we go.
There you go.
This is your last warning.
If you don't disperse, we'll intervene.
I need five more minutes, chief.
Spray them in five minutes.
I'll be gone then.
We're almost done with sales.
Five minutes.
Officer, please.
I'm sure you understand.
The madness continues!
Here. Here.
Put on the helmets and
gas masks!
The boss has gone mad.
The boss has gone mad.
Spray!
Here you go. There you go.
Allah! They sprayed Erkan!
Go! Go!
Arrest those two.
First group, go in!
Erkan, this isn't working!
Erkan! Where are you?
This isn't working, Erkan.
Officer, please.
Officer, be fair.
- Disperse the protest.
Have you no shame?
- I didn't do anything.
I swear, officer.
I didn't do anything.
Don't take me to the station.
It's all his fault.
Breathe it in, son.
Breathe it in.
Clear your lungs.
Let that filthy gas out.
That's enough, mom.
I'm sick of this.
First the police spray me
and now you. Enough is enough!
You should've known better than
to attend a protest.
If your father finds out,
he'll kill you.
We were there to do direct sales.
We weren't a part of the protest.
- God, please grant him some wisdom.
Come on, son.
Breathe it in a few more times.
I won't, mom.
Please, I don't want to.
I really don't want to.
Do you know why I'm doing all this?
To get Serap to marry me.
What did my father-in-law say? "Get your
business going and then we'll talk."
God forbid! That father-in-law of yours
will never give you his blessing.
Even if you prove yourself to him.
Be optimistic for once, woman.
Say something positive for a change.
I don't care what he does.
My name's Osman Sasmaz.
Even if he doesn't approve,
I'll make her my bride.
You wish. While you were wasting your time
in protests...
... her fiance came to visit.
Her fiance?
What fiance, mom?
Who told you about this?
Your Aunt Duriye. Apparently,
he is some factory owner's son.
Yagiz, you bastard.
- Well, I don't know if he's a bastard.
They say he's a smart kid.
He keeps bringing gifts to Riza.
She says the parcels arrive
one after another.
What are you saying?
With your hand like this?
Your Aunt Duriye says it was as if
Yagiz wanted to marry Riza, not his daughter.
Smart kid. Figured out Riza alright.
First he'll win his heart
and then get the daughter.
Maybe he really wants to marry
Uncle Riza.
Don't be ridiculous, son.
I can't believe my ears.
My world's collapsed.
I need to get to the office
immediately, mom.
If dad shows up,
tell him I never came home.
Stay, son. Your lungs are still sore.
Osman, come back.
Go back 5 or 6 hours.
- Sure, boss.
Quick. Fest forward.
Fest forward.
Come on. Come on.
Stop. Here's his car.
That's his car. Play.
Play. Yagiz, you bastard.
It's really him.
Let him open the trunk.
Look at that.
What's that gift?
Zoom in on it.
It's an electric heater.
Yagiz, you kiss ass.
He's winning Riza over
with endless gifts.
He's going to win over
the entire family, Erkan.
We have to do something straight away.
We have to make a move, Erkan.
It's time to counter-attack.
There's no turning back.
What are we going to do, boss?
- First, get out of my seat.
Like being the boss?
We're going to give Uncle Riza
an incredible gift.
We're going to ruin
that kiss ass Yagiz's plan.
What is Uncle Riza
most interested in?
Let me think out loud.
Think out loud.
Religion.
Why don't we give him an Islamic gift?
Like what, boss?
A prayer rug.
- A prayer rug is a great idea.
But isn't it a bit dull
compared to an electric heater?
You know, one is just a piece of cloth.
The other is an electronic device.
What if I combine the two?
The prayer rug and the electric heater?
How, boss?
Care to explain?
Sure. I'm going to install
the heater in you.
And I'm going to hand you the rug.
They'll be combined in one body.
You bonehead! I'm going to
integrate the two. How can I put it?
I'll make an electrically-heated
prayer rug.
Great idea, boss.
- I want that product ready right away.
Get the R&D team
working on it pronto.
It needs to be ready
by morning prayers.
We'll hand out the rugs
after the prayers and say...
"It's courtesy of Uncle Riza."
His rug must be extra fancy.
I want golden threading
along the borders of the rug.
Don't worry, boss.
- Okay. Show me what you can do.
Get started.
Now you're screwed
Yagiz, you asshole!
I'll show you what an impressive gift is.
Dear congregation.
Today, we have among us...
...a true gentleman.
Uncle Riza!
A round of applause
for Uncle Riza please!
Today we're handing out these
electrically-heated prayer rugs.
100% Turkish genius.
100% Turkish capital.
100% Turkish manufacturing.
Osman Marketing Inc. is bringing you
these prayer rugs...
...in honor of Uncle Riza.
So, what use is the product?
Thanks to our prayer rug,
the warmth in your heart while praying...
...will be shared by your body.
You all experience sinus-related problems.
Snot in your noses,
phlegm in your throats.
Your sinuses are all blocked.
I feel your suffering.
When your forehead touches the rug,
the warmth will radiate to your head.
And it will give you relief.
Offering you a healthy
worship experience.
Bravo!
Thank you.
Of course, we're giving the first rug
to Uncle Riza.
His rug is special,
with golden threading along its borders.
Let me give it to him.
See the golden threading?
Look at the golden threading.
You deserve nothing but the best.
Here is the one with golden threading.
It's beautiful, son.
Thank you, father.
May Allah accept your prayers.
Thank you very much, son.
- You're welcome, father.
Yes, gentlemen.
You can get yours from here.
They're on the house.
Don't miss out!
There you go.
We're done.
We're done!
We're done.
You should have seen Uncle Riza's face
when you were speaking.
He was so happy. The presence of
the congregation also helped.
You know how he felt?
Honored.
The happiness of the congregation
was infectious too.
He got extra happy.
Now nothing can go wrong.
Certainly. You know what, boss?
I'm sure the congregation
are praising you to Riza right now.
I think so, but we deserve it.
Coming up with an original idea
is no easy task.
Integrating different ideas and all.
Tough business.
Look at the TV screen.
It's blinking.
Wow, do you see that?
Going on and off.
And gone! It's gone.
- Gone.
Kazim, you should unplug the TV.
Otherwise it'll overload
once the electricity comes back on.
God forbid, it might burst into flames.
It's a CRT TV.
- Don't worry. It's old anyway.
I wish it would just explode.
- Don't say that.
Why don't you appreciate what you have?
A CRT TV is very hard to find
these days.
Plasmas, HDTVs, concaves, 4Ks...
None of them has a clearer display.
CRTs have phosphor in them.
You can get 3 milligrams of phosphor
from a fish.
Osman, Osman.
- What's up, Mustafa?
Buddy, this time you're done for.
Why? What happened?
Those prayer rugs you handed out.
They short-circuited and
set fire to the mosque.
The congregation is coming to kill you.
- You what?
How do they know I'm here?
If I know it, so does everyone else.
Remember that.
I swear I'm going to beat you up
with wet firewood.
Or I might nail you to the ceiling.
Yeah, sure.
Sod off! Beat it!
Annoying little brat!
He drives me nuts,
fucking doomsayer!
What now, boss? We're screwed.
- Erkan, don't panic.
Go and gather everyone down there.
Grab anything
that can be used as weapons.
Blades, axes, saws, drills.
Put in the thickest drill bit.
The minute you hear me moan,
run straight out.
Beat the shit out of them.
Don't worry, boss.
You give the word, and
we'll burn the whole town down.
Good. Scram.
Don't panic.
Kazim, put the teas on my tab.
I have to get going.
God damn it!
What's the matter, boss?
- Hasn't anyone come round yet?
No, boss.
- Okay. Give me the crowbar.
If you hear me scream, come right out.
- Okay boss.
Hi, Osman. How are you?
Songul, you startled me.
I'm not the least bit okay right now.
Please leave.
Something bad happened?
- Yes, everything.
They're going to bust here
any minute, Songul.
Come on. Get going.
- Okay, I was off anyway.
My grandma brought yoghurt
from our village. I know you like it.
So I brought some for you.
- What yoghurt?
Buffalo yoghurt.
It's hardly the best time
for buffalo yoghurt.
Guys! He's here! Come on!
God damn you!
Gentlemen, you're being unreasonable.
Hear me out.
Please be reasonable.
It's the CEO of Osman Marketing Inc.
you're talking with.
Let me explain everything.
I've just talked to
the undersecretary for energy.
Mr. Yildinm.
It's not just our neighborhood
experiencing the problem.
It's the entire city.
A problem with power distribution units.
A raccoon got into
a power distribution unit.
A raccoon?
- Yes, a raccoon.
You know raccoons.
They're naughty animals.
You know those units are cool.
He probably liked it in there.
He entered the power unit and
caused a power surge.
Hence, the voltage imbalance.
There's nothing wrong with the rug.
You're lying to our faces.
You ruined us and we'll ruin you.
You won't live to see Eid.
Got it?
Enough! We are civilized people!
Resorting to violence can't be justified.
You're all old enough to be grandfathers.
Have you no shame?
He told you already.
There was a problem with voltage.
Hate to interrupt. See what you did?
You even drove her insane.
How shameful. As Osman Marketing Inc.
we stand behind our product.
At no extra charge,...
...to heal your burns,
I'll give you ejaculative cream.
I'll give you lubricants.
Go inside and get yourself a tube.
Also, taste this delicious yoghurt.
On the house too.
It'll quench your thirst.
Go inside. Open the gate, son.
Open the gate.
Give your uncles cream.
On the house.
Go inside.
Where's Uncle Riza?
Is he here?
Uncle Riza wasn't in the mosque.
He's probably home.
He is. Thanks.
Go inside. Get your cream.
Hey Serap. I didn't know you were home.
I am. What's up?
- You're wearing that sweater again.
You're very sexy.
Auntie Adile, do you know
if Uncle Riza tried out the gift yet?
Osman, he hasn't yet.
He waited for the power to come back on.
He's just started praying.
Good. What?
Started praying?
He just did.
When the power came back on.
Father!
What's the matter, Osman?
- May Allah accept your prayers, father.
Adile, help!
He's been electrocuted.
Don't touch him Riza.
I'll prod him with wood.
Osman? Osman?
Osman?
Wake up already, boss.
Erkan, he moved his eyes.
He's waking up.
Osman, Osman.
Osman?
We're here, boss.
- Erkan?
Yes, boss?
- Give me some water.
Sure, boss.
Here.
Don't drink too much.
Just in case.
Osman, how are you?
Are you in pain?
Who is she?
Songul, boss.
Don't you recognize her?
My God, Erkan.
He's lost his memory.
If he did,
he wouldn't recognize me either.
I think he's in shock.
Erkan, I don't remember anything.
What happened to me?
Boss, you've been out since yesterday.
Osman, do you remember me now?
I brought you yoghurt yesterday.
Oh, yes. Now I remember.
When you said yoghurt,
it all came back to me.
I barely remember you,
but I do remember the yoghurt.
It's impossible to forget you.
Thanks. It was Songul, wasn't it?
Songul, thanks.
- Don't mention it.
You get better.
- Help me up.
Don't.
- I want to get up.
Don't, boss.
He's not wearing underwear.
If you could wait outside,
let him get dressed.
Sure. I have to get going anyway.
I'll drop by tomorrow.
Take care.
Songul?
- Yes, Osman.
Thanks a lot.
- You're welcome.
Osman, are you starting to
agree with your mother?
I feel like
you've developed feelings for her.
Where did you get that idea, dumbass?
I'm in love with Serap.
I thanked her for the yoghurt.
That's all.
Go get me my underwear.
I slept for 27 hours.
Why didn't you take me to the toilet?
I peed myself big time.
I wet my pants at this age!
Did anything happen when I was out?
Anything I should know about?
Something happened, boss.
It's slightly important.
What?
- Serap and Yagiz are getting engaged.
Is this slightly important, you nitwit?
Slightly important?
Who told you?
This is how I heard, boss.
My mom cooked stuffed peppers and
she took a plate to Serap's mom.
She noticed something was unusual.
So she asked Auntie Adile.
Auntie Adile spit it out right away.
She said, "Yagiz's folks are coming
to ask for our blessing."
Apparently, Yagiz and his family
are visiting around 3 tomorrow.
See? One disaster after another.
One piece of bad luck after another.
Fucking Murphy! Doesn't let me be!
You need to be calm, boss.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.
- Better, Erkan?
What, boss?
- Better?
You said tomorrow might be better.
I'm repeating your dumb statement!
Do you peg me for someone
who believes in destiny?
If you're obsessed with the outcome,
you can't be a hero.
From now on, I'm going rogue.
Because life is like photography
you develop from negatives.
Instead of striving for
an honorable life,...
...I'm going to live and die
recklessly.
Hear me? I'm going to apply
these self-help cliches to my life.
Enough is enough.
- Osman, you're worrying me.
No need to worry.
When she hit me
with that wooden stick,...
...I was shaken right down my spine
to my anus.
It shook me back to reality.
From now on, my life's going to be
all about action.
Tonight, we're doing
a cross-border operation.
What are you thinking of?
We'll kidnap Serap tonight.
Osman?
Where are you?
Come here.
Come over here.
Come.
Osman? I was thinking.
Maybe we should give up.
You can't make her love you.
I was also thinking, Erkan.
How about I fire you?
You shouldn't flog a dead horse.
- Boss, you misunderstood me.
If her father doesn't approve,
there's no other way but to kidnap her.
Now, I'm going to impersonate your mother.
Should we get her involved?
I don't give a damn about your mother!
Why would I get her involved?
I don't want her involved.
I'm just going to impersonate her.
I'll call Serap's mother and say:
"l need my plate back.
Send Serap over."'
Serap's going to leave the building.
You'll run after her.
You'll put the sack over her head.
Just where I left the truck.
We'll put her in the back.
Got it, boss.
Give me your phone.
- I congratulate you, boss.
You've weaved a very intricate plan.
- What else did you expect?
I'm brilliant.
Hello?
- Hello.
Adile, it's me, Hilmiye.
How are you, sweety?
Fine thanks, dear.
How are you?
Fine too.
Adile, here's why I called you.
Remember the plate
I gave you the other day?
Could you have Serap bring it over?
I need it now.
Come on, Hilmiye.
Why do you need it at this hour?
I wanted to send it to you tomorrow,
once I'd filled it with goodies.
If I didn't need it right away,
would I bother you at this time?
Send it back empty, that's fine.
Just send it back.
If you say so, I will.
You'll have to excuse me then.
No problem. I don't mind.
Have Serap bring it over, okay?
Will do, sweety. Kisses.
First step complete.
Serap.
Take this plate to Aunt Hilmiye,
will you?
I'm on the phone, mom.
- Hang up, then.
You can call them back.
- One second, honey.
I'm talking to Yagiz, mom.
Can't you do it yourself?
Okay, you natter.
I'll do it myself.
I won't be long. I'll have
a cup of coffee and be back soon.
This sweater is so beautiful.
Is it cashmere?
I'll put it on.
It's mine. Hands off.
She got out yet?
- She did, boss.
Here she is. It's Serap.
Go, go, go!
Come over here.
Good God, she weighs a ton.
Get this thing off her
so she can breathe.
Auntie Adile.
- What are we going to do, boss?
We screwed up big time.
Kidnapped the mom.
We kidnapped the wrong person.
How ridiculous is that?
We have to get her back into bed
beside Uncle Riza.
Otherwise it's curtains, Erkan.
- How can we do that, boss? She's out.
What if we leave her by the door?
- You dimwit!
Is that a kitty
you're leaving by the door?
Like you're leaving an unwanted baby
by the mosque. That's Serap's mom!
What happens if someone rapes her
on the street?
We'd be accountable.
Could you live with that?
She's waking up, Erkan.
Hand me the anesthetic.
Put her out.
- You had the anesthetic, boss.
I didn't. When did I have it?
- I gave it to you to put her out.
I don't recall at all.
When did you give it to me?
I gave it to you at home.
Allah, she's waking up.
She's talking.
She's talking about cats.
My God, she's tripping.
Go get me something.
We have to put her out.
Here kitty kitty.
There's no kitty.
You're dreaming.
Erkan, quick!
- Osman!
She recognized me.
- Little Osman.
Little Osman?
Who's little Osman?
Bouncy Osman.
- What the hell does Bouncy Osman mean?
Erkan, quick.
She's talking nonsense.
I'm here, boss.
- What is that?
I've come up with some alternatives, boss.
The best option is to shock her.
- Shock?
Yes.
- Give it to me.
Allah! Yes, that's the best option.
I'm so sorry, Auntie Adile.
I have to put you out.
In the bag! In the bag!
Up, up!
Take her! Take her!
Okay, boss.
Hold her. Quick!
Uncle Riza is eating honey.
Put her shoe back on.
Damn it! Come here.
Get up there.
Push.
What kind of push is that?
Grab this.
Lay her down!
Adile? Are you back, darling?
Shit! What do we do, boss?
I heard your footsteps.
- How the hell do I know? Riza's coming in.
We must do something, Erkan.
Place her under the bed.
Adile?
My gazelle?
You think you can hide from me?
I ate all that honey.
Tonight you're all mine.
Be quiet, Riza. My head's killing me.
I'm going to sleep.
I don't care if your ass is killing you.
You're mine tonight.
Get off me, you animal!
Act your age!
God, you're so hot.
Go away!
- I have nothing to be ashamed of.
Put him out, Erkan.
I may be old but I'm rearing to go.
- Go away.
I ate so much of that honey.
- What are you doing? Have you no shame?
Erkan, put him out!
- Who are you talking to?
Don't touch me!
Erkan, put that pervert out!
You're not getting away from me.
Go away, you animal!
Everything's alright boss.
I shocked him.
You idiot! If you had waited
a little longer, he would have shocked me!
He grabbed my ass.
The pervert!
Let's get her up here.
He touched me all over.
Police! Don't move!
It's the police.
Come here.
Osman!
Put your hands up.
This is a big misunderstanding, officer.
We're good people.
It's not as it seems.
You're making a mistake.
- What mistake, you idiot?
What the hell are you doing here
in the middle of the night?
Erkan and I were sitting at home.
Then we decided to get some air.
This idiot cooked tripe soup,
put too much garlic in.
He kept farting at home.
So I said, let's go get some fresh air.
What kind of a person are you? I said.
Really?
- Yes. So, we were getting fresh air.
How about you get some fresh air
at the station?
Then we'll have a cup of tea together.
If worst comes to worst,
you'll spend the night at our humble hotel.
You're very witty.
Get on your knees, you moron!
I swear, you're making a big mistake.
We live in this neighborhood.
I live in that building.
And he lives overt here.
This is our neighborhood, boss.
Shut up.
- Do you know Captain Ahmet?
There is no captain named Ahmet.
- Senol?
The tea guy, Huseyin.
The tea guy.
He's my uncle.
I'm minutes away from going insane.
They're giving Serap away and
we're stuck in this hole!
Calm down, boss. They can't keep us here
for more than 24 hours.
When did we get in, you shithead?
At 12 midnight.
- So, when are they going to release us?
Tonight at 12.
Serap and Yagiz will be engaged by then.
We have to get out now.
We have to be there now.
They're giving her away
as we speak.
Welcome everyone!
We're gathered here
for a propitious matter.
Officer! Officer!
What happened?
Why are you shouting?
I'm really sorry to bother you, officer.
Could you please release us?
They're giving my girl away.
I need to be there.
We're glad to have you all here
on the happiest day of our lives.
No way, man.
I can't release you before 12.
Then, I'll ask you for a favor.
I have 7 hours left.
Put my 7 hours on his tab.
Let him stay for another 14.
Please officer.
- But Osman.
Why should I stay here another 14 hours?
- Do you think I should?
You think I should be locked in here
while Serap is slipping away?
You're selling me out, boss.
You'll do more time for me
if you have to.
No way.
We're here to celebrate the engagement
of Yagiz and Serap.
Please let us go.
It's a matter of life and death.
The girl I love is getting engaged
as we speak.
It's happening right now.
My grandson and granddaughter are
getting engaged today.
We're so happy to have you all here.
I need to stop them.
Please let us go, officer.
I'm in love. I'm in love.
Please Iet us out.
Let us out, boy scout.
Please, let us out.
Okay, you dimwit. I will.
But if I catch you again,
God help you.
Thanks a million.
We'll be law-abiding citizens.
Just let us out.
Go, tiger! Go, Turkish police!
Come here, let me hug you.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Bless you, officer.
We pulled it off.
We sure did.
- Run, Erkan.
Erkan, run. We have to stop them.
It's now time
to cut the ribbon.
Run! We have to stop them.
Erkan!
Congratulations.
- No!
We all wish you happiness!
- Serap! Serap! No!
Put your hands together!
I didn't deserve this
You betrayed me Serap
You did too, Serap
How can you be someone else's, Serap?
I'm in agony, Serap
I'd rather be blind than
see this, Serap
Why did you do this to me?
Is it a good time, boss?
It's not a good time.
There's a problem.
- What happened?
Our R&D team are causing trouble.
I've had it up to here with you!
Up to here!
My whole life sucks.
Why are they all here, Erkan?
The R&D team have decided to leave
because they're not getting paid.
How much have we paid them so far?
We haven't paid them anything, boss.
Really?
Okay, you can leave.
I'll take care of it.
My friends!
I'm told that we have a problem.
The problem might seem to be big.
But it really isn't, my friends.
How are we going to solve this problem?
Together as a family.
My young friends!
I'm addressing you as your brother.
Consider me your big brother.
Brotherhood.
We are familia, familia.
We are familia.
We are a big familia.
We're a big family, guys.
We're going to overcome our problems
together.
Your big brother has a serious problem.
The girl I love...
...is engaged to some other man.
My lover...
...to the other man.
My lover to the other man.
What am I supposed to do?
Things are bad enough already.
And now I find out that
my brothers are leaving.
In these hard times,...
...I expect to see my friends
by my side.
If you want to show me your loyalty,...
...step over the line.
I'm counting back from three. Three.
Two.
One.
I assume they didn't understand
what I said.
Maybe you could repeat that
in English, boss?
Listen, guys.
Borderline, behind...
...bad line, bad line.
Borderline...
...jumper, brotherhood.
I'm in, boss.
Of course you are.
My true friend.
You prove once again
that Turks stand together.
Get to work.
I'm going to reward you.
I would double your salary but I can't.
I'll give you a wafer. Tonight.
So, you're not stepping over the line.
Open the gate, Erkan.
I said what I had to say.
You're fired!
You're all fired!
Get the fuck out of here.
Get the fuck out of here.
Fuck off!
Get the fuck out of here.
Fuck off!
Come in!
Osman, Songul's here.
She wants to see you.
She's here?
- Yes.
Let her in.
You wait outside, you fool.
What are you doing here?
How are you, Osman?
I'm trying to be fine.
I'm not good, I'm not bad.
Despite my troubles, I'm not sad.
The future is bright and
we're alright.
How are you?
- I'm also fine, Osman.
That's good to hear.
What do you need?
I don't know how I should say this.
What?
I'm afraid you'll be mad.
I can't be sure.
Why?
Osman.
- Songul?
What is this?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Osman, you've been working so hard
to get this company going.
Even when I'm not by your side,
I can feel your distress.
I know you're fed up, exhausted.
You need someone you can trust
to get this company going.
That's why...
...I've brought you some gold
I've been saving for my dowry...
...and some cash.
I want to be an investing partner
in this company.
This may be the most ridiculous thing
I've ever heard.
Have you lost your marbles?
Don't you have anything else to do?
Take these and leave.
Then take it as a loan, Osman.
You'll pay me when
you turn your business around.
The company doesn't need a loan right now.
We have 2755 Liras in the safe.
I have bills to pay, totaling
2710 Liras. We still have 45 Liras.
I don't need any help.
I fired all the guys.
I'll have to live on 15 Liras
for the next four days.
Osman, please accept this.
- Please. Please.
Please take this and leave.
You saved it for your dowry.
Don't give these away.
You've got a hefty dowry.
Your future husband is a lucky guy!
Put these back in your purse.
Put them back in your purse, okay?
Anything else?
No, I'll leave then.
- Yeah, I think you should.
I'll have Erkan show you the way out.
Erkan, could you come here?
Our guest is leaving.
Thank you.
Osman.
I wish there were a device...
...with which one could express
all one's feelings and emotions.
Piece of cake. We can do that.
Erkan, did you hear that?
Serap wishes there were a device that could
express a person's thoughts and feelings.
A device that conveys brain signals.
That would help people
to express their feelings.
Let's develop such a device.
Get the R&D team working on this.
Get to work straight away.
Thank you, dear Songul.
Money isn't an issue.
Do whatever Songul asks of you.
Okay? Get Embamba on the job.
The brain is his thing.
Show me what you're capable of.
Erkan, will you please take these?
Osman told me to give them to you.
They're for the project.
Thank you so much.
Thanks a million.
Good luck!
- Bye.
Emamba. Emamba?
- Yes, boss.
We have a new project.
- What is it?
We're going to build a device that
expresses what people are thinking.
What do you say?
- Neurology.
Yes.
- Great. Right up my street.
Give me five, then.
Don't cry, Osman.
Don't suffer, Osman.
Live on!
If it's my destiny,
I'll face it merrily.
Here's the dynamic duo.
Erkan and Embalmba.
What are you doing here, guys?
You haven't been in the office
for the past two weeks, boss.
You're not answering your phone.
Your mother said you'd be here.
We were worried, boss.
Is anything wrong? Are you okay?
Look, guys. Let me explain
with an analogy. When others pee,...
... the wind's always behind them
and they pee for miles.
When I start to pee,...
...the wind changes direction.
And I end up with my own pee
all over myself.
Nothing turns out right.
Isn't that always the case?
So, I'm done.
I'm disbanding the company.
I'm just done.
- Boss, before you make a decision...
We designed the product you asked for.
It might not be perfect but
it's a step up from a prototype.
Take a look, boss.
- What is that?
The device that helps to
express feelings, boss.
Here is how the device works.
You put it on like this.
The device has censors on the band
and on the eyes, boss.
When two devices face each other,
they are synched.
The brain receives the signals and
reflects them on the screen.
We'll show you how it works, boss.
Ready.
Three. Two. One.
What do you think, boss?
A heart popped up, didn't it?
My friend.
What do you think, boss?
- Did I tell you to make such a device?
You did, boss.
Remember, it was Songul's idea?
I winked at you.
I winked.
I didn't want to hurt her feelings,
so I winked.
But Songul gave us money for the project
on her way out.
You spent the money
she was saving for her dowry?
She gave us 15 grand, boss.
The device cost 4 grand.
Are you idiots or what?
She offered me the money.
I said no.
Go give her what's left of the money.
Immediately.
But we don't have any money left.
How is that possible?
You said you spent 4 grand.
We spent the rest on production, boss.
Placed an order for 20 thousand devices.
The first 2 thousand came in today.
I'll crack your heads with that bottle!
Are you trying to destroy me?
I've had it up to here with you two!
I'm fed up! Get out of here!
I'm disbanding the company tomorrow.
You'll get your money and leave.
I don't want to see your faces ever again.
You're coming in tomorrow
for the last time. The last!
What am I going to do without you, boss?
Why don't you reconsider?
Get the fuck out of here!
I've had it up to here with you.
You're not one but two idiots.
Play, my friend. Play.
Nothing means anything anymore.
Take that down.
Take that down to the right.
Help your friend, Embamba.
Take that down. Put it there.
It's because of you we're taking down
that sign. It's been up there for years.
You jinxes!
Hello.
Osman Marketing Inc.?
- Osman Marketing Inc. is no more.
Osman Marketing Inc. is history.
But they called us to this address.
We're here to pick up our order.
Who called you?
- I did, boss.
We had a couple of orders to ship.
I logged in to the application
on my phone and called them.
Give me that package. Give it to me.
Bon voyage.
Take care.
Stop waving and
get this inside.
Take the ladder. Take the ladder.
Quick!
There's no point flogging
a dead horse.
You shouldn't push your luck.
Just turn over a new page.
Give me that cover.
I sacrificed my youth and my friends
for this company.
Everything's gone.
I had two passions:
Serap and Osman Marketing Inc.
I ended up losing both.
I can't believe
how unlucky I've been.
It's all thanks to you, you idiots.
Look at me.
Look at those.
What are they?
What the hell are they?
You design one lame product and
place an order for 35 thousand items.
What the heck is this?
What's a heart band?
Tell me. Heart Band.
Who came up with this name?
Whoever came up with that name,
God damn him.
I'm probably not making sense anymore.
I open this box, an even bigger disaster.
What the hell is this?
Someone explain what the hell this is.
Who would even wear this?
Supposedly, you put it on your head and
your feelings appear on the screen.
God damn you.
Forgive us, boss.
We got carried away.
I swear, I'm going to
bang your heads together.
You'll have something to
tell your grandkids about.
It'll be a nice memory.
Who is that?
Is that Osman Marketing Inc.?
Speaking.
We need some of those Demet Akalin bands.
We all want one, don't we girls?
What do you mean by Demet Akalin bands?
Demet Akalin shared it on her lnstagram.
She handed out Heart Bands at her concert.
This product is a huge hit.
Heart Band is out of this world!
Osman Marketing Inc., we love you.
Let me see your heads!
Okay, got it.
Give me a second, ladies.
Shit...
Erkan?
- Yes, boss?
Has something happened
involving Demet Akalin?
Let me explain it to you real quick.
Remember, at that party
we got her contact info?
When we were done with the production
of Heart Band, I sent her two samples.
She loved them and asked for another 200.
Instead of them gathering dust,...
...I sent Demet another 200.
And Demet handed out the bands at
her concert and put it on her lnstagram.
She set that product on fire.
Is that how it happened?
- Is it, boss?
Come here.
- You won't slap me, will you?
No, I won't slap you.
Boss, please.
- Come here.
You're the man!
What's going on, boss?
What's going on, boss?
You're the man!
- What's up with you, boss?
Boss?
Boss, what's going on?
- Heart Band has really taken off.
Demet posted it on her lnstagram.
Now we have hundreds of girls at the door.
Hundreds of girls!
All screaming for the Band!
They're all chanting,
"Heart Band! Heart Band!"
Packthese up.
Place an order for 100 thousand Bands.
I'm rehiring you and
doubling your salary.
We'll let the first 5 buyers have it for
19.90 Liras. The usual price is 55.75.
That's the best I can do.
You'll have your Heart Bands today.
All of you will get your Heart Bands.
Have you got the money?
- Yes!
Are you ready?
- Yes!
I can't hear you!
- Yes!
Are you ready?
Dear viewers, next we have a piece
on the Heart Band.
Heart Band is the latest craze
to take Turkey by storm.
It was put on the market
by Osman Marketing Inc.
Heart Band continues to
bring people together.
I want people to know what I think
and how I feel.
I want everyone to know.
The product was first promoted by
Demet Akalin at one of her concerts.
She shot a video with her Heart Band and
put it on her lnstagram.
As millions watched the selfie...
...Heart Band achieved
widespread popularity.
Heart Band!
Heart Band!
Welcome. Hello.
I'm wearing a Heart Band.
Everyone from seven to seventy...
...is waiting in line to
get their Heart Bands.
We're starting in a minute.
The Heart Bands have just arrived.
My colleagues are getting them ready.
I'm here to get one for my grandchild.
She's very excited.
We're waiting for our turn.
Hoping to get one today.
I got here at 2. I've been looking
for a Band for months.
I got mine here at last!
Got it, got it!
I've been trying for a month.
My name was on the list. Now I have it.
I bought one for my son.
We want to know what he thinks.
Heart Band makes studying easier.
I just got mine.
Having spread like wildfire
across Turkey,...
...Heart Band is becoming popular abroad.
I love Heart Band.
Heart Band is wonderful.
With this amount of attention...
...Heart Band is destined to be
the product of the year.
Do you have a minute, boss?
- Yes.
Forbes would like to have you
on their cover.
They're asking for an appointment
for an interview and a photo shoot.
I'm busy for the next two months.
Tell them to call in March.
Will do, boss.
- Another thing, Erkan.
Yes, boss?
- I had them install glass walls...
...to keep my eyes on you.
My eyes are on you 24/7.
The way you walk has changed.
- No, boss. We're the same humble guys.
You're starting to swagger, Erkan.
I want you to walk in this building
the way you did in that warehouse.
Don't turn into snobs just because
you now work at a plaza.
Do you think Italian suits
make you better men?
Be good men.
Don't forget your roots.
We would never, boss.
Mr. Sasmaz?
- Yes.
You have guests, sir.
They say they were your neighbors.
What are their names?
- There's a Riza and his daughter.
Let them in.
Osman, my son. Mashallah.
You have a very fancy office.
Very big. Mashallah.
Welcome.
Please take a seat.
Osman, my son. Mashallah.
You are a man of your word.
You kept your promise.
You said your products would
make an impact and they did.
Did you feel the impact?
It's been a big impact, hasn't it?
Heart Band is really
a huge success, Osman.
I always knew you'd achieve
that kind of success.
Thank you.
- Osman, my son.
You turned your business around.
Got your company going.
Why don't you talk to your folks and
we'll settle that little matter.
What matter?
That engagement matter.
But I saw with my own eyes.
Serap got engaged to another guy.
That didn't work out.
My heart was never in it anyway.
Her mother insisted.
Understood. It was all Auntie Adile,
you say.
My heart wasn't in it either.
Mom insisted.
My heart has always
belonged to you, Osman.
Your heart was mine, huh?
I'll tell you what.
We have recently designed a product.
It seems to be very fitting.
Let me show you how it works.
Remember, I did
another demonstration for you?
Can you please bring me
the product, Erkan?
Here, boss.
Thank you.
- My God, is it a ring?
No, it's not. Come on!
Does this look like a ring?
It is two fingers, not a ring.
We designed one for the left,
one for the right hand.
We put this on our thumb.
We part our fingers like this.
If someone comes up to you
saying dumb things...
...trying to kiss your ass,
it comes in handy.
Look, you raise four fingers.
You extend the thumb forward
as you can see in diagram A.
And then bend your four fingers
downwards. Here comes the light.
The light is on. Now, off.
Light on.
Light off.
Here is your engagement.
Here is your engagement.
And gone.
Here is your engagement.
Now, scram!
Shame on you!
- Get out of here!
Take your daughter and leave.
Scram!
Have you no morals?
Osman, you seem to be upset.
But I'd like to show you
the new Heart Bands if you're not busy.
Come. Sit beside me.
These are the fancy versions.
- Put this on.
This?
I'll put it on too.
Turn towards me.
- No, Osman.
Turn towards me so that
the bands sync.
I can't. I just can't.
Turn to me so I can finally see
what's going on in your head.
No way, Osman. Please.
What do you have to hide?
Turn to me and we'll have
no secrets anymore.
Come on.
- I won't, Osman.
Listen, Songul. Sometimes we
care about certain people.
We put them on a pedestal.
But then we realize
they're not who we thought they were.
We see that person was not really
worth our love.
They were neither decent nor moral.
The time wasted on them...
...is what hurts the most.
Sometimes you get blind.
So blind, you can't see the person
standing right beside you.
You ignore the warm-hearted angel
with good intentions...
...and feelings for you.
It happens.
Nobody's perfect.
Everybody makes mistakes.
I've come to realize I made a mistake.
Look, I'm being honest with you.
I know you have feelings for me.
You can't deny that.
So, turn to me and let our bands sync.
Let's see how I feel.
Let the censors read how I feel and
show it on the screen.
So, turn towards me.
- Shall l?
Yes, that's what I want.
I will then.
Turn to me.
What's on the screen?
- A heart.
Look, mine has a heart too.
I have feelings for you too.
My mom will be so happy.
Let me take a selfie.
Let my mom see it
and be happy for us.
Come closer.
- A selfie?
Yes, come.
Boss, don't forget about us.
Were you two under the table?
Where did you come from?
Don't forget to include us, boss
- Let me turn this around.
Three, two, one.
Heart Band!