I love money.
I love money more than I love
the things it can buy.
Does that surprise you?
Money. It don't care whether
I'm good or not.
It don't care whether I snore or not.
It don't care which god I pray to.
There are only three things in this world
with that kind of unconditional acceptance.
Dogs...
...doughnuts...
...and money.
Only money is better.
You know why?
Because it don't make you fat...
...and it don't poop all over
the living-room floor.
There's only one thing I like better:
Other people's money.
Hey, guys.
Come on.
All right. Now, squeeze in over here.
That's it. I've got to see all your faces.
- How you doing, Tom?
- Happy Thanksgiving, Jorgy!
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!
- Happy Thanksgiving.
- Smile, everybody!
Take a good one, Elton.
The stock is up another point and a half!
Somebody's up to something, Jorgy.
Good news. Stock is up.
Don't worry about it.
- Gus, you got your teeth in?
- Ready now!
Cheeks up!
New England Wire and Cable!
New England Wire and Cable!
Up two points.
Wire and Cable up two points.
Wire and Cable up two points.
- Morning, Mr. Garfield.
- Good morning, Arthur.
Say good morning to Carmen. She's
very happy today, aren't you, my sweet?
Good morning, Carmen.
- Cranberry juice is fresh today, boss.
- Oh, good.
You never let me down, Arthur.
You never let me down.
- Good morning, sir.
- Samuels.
- Good morning, Mr. Garfield.
- Good morning, Mr. Garfield.
- Good morning, Mr. Garfield.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- Good morning, Mr. Garfield.
- Good morning, Mr. Garfield.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
- Good morning, Mr. Garfield.
Work, work!
- Good morning, Mr. Garfield.
- Morning.
- Good morning, Mr. Garfield.
- Yeah.
Good morning, Mr. Garfield.
You look nice today.
I'm not paying you to be polite, Harriet.
What's happening?
- Good morning, Mr. Garfield.
- Good morning, Mr. Garfield.
Morning. Morning.
Mr. Holt wants to see you for dinner...
...and the Overly brothers will fly you
to Texas or come here, whichever you want.
When I die, put it on my gravestone:
- "He never went to Texas."
- Yes, sir. I'll call the engraver.
- Where's the cinnamon?
- Out of cinnamon.
If I can't count on Dunkin' Donuts...
...who do I count on?
- Well, you can count on me, sir.
Granger, Trundel Canning. Tell me.
Trundel is being sued
by the townspeople, sir.
Failed to comply
with environmental restrictions.
And there are claims of illness
from the citizenry.
Good.
Just before they're carted off to jail,
make a bid.
- Yes, sir.
- Angeli.
- Yo.
- Eastern Motels. Outstanding shares.
Six million, Mr. Garfield.
Slate owns 2 and a half million.
Mr. Morganstern wants to talk to you.
I'd rather talk to my mother.
- Pfeiffer!
- Yeah.
What about this
New England Wire and Cable?
It's too beautiful.
Is it booby-trapped?
I uh...
I uh...
I uh...
I...
...can't seem to find any problems,
Mr. Garfield.
Neither can I.
- Richardson.
- Yes, sir.
Let's talk to these people.
Call the man in charge,
whoever he is.
Yes, sir. We'll get right on it.
New England Wire and Cable.
Good morning.
The general manager, please.
That would be Mr. Coles.
- Who shall I say is calling?
- Lawrence Garfield.
Just one moment, please.
- What did he want?
- He wants to come up and see us.
Look the place over, he said.
Well, what's wrong with that?
He's a shareholder.
Well, it's not that simple.
What this man does is no secret.
Bill, you got the jitters.
Wall Street's in the liquidation business
these days, Jorgy.
My father founded this company
81 years ago.
- I took over 26 years ago...
- I know.
I control this company,
and nobody's gonna liquidate us.
What a shit pit.
Look at this.
Look at this.
I haven't seen a place this classy
since I left the Bronx.
Welcome to New England Wire and Cable.
I'm Bea Sullivan, Mr. Jorgenson's assistant.
- How do you do?
- I do good.
Would you like to invite your chauffeur in
to keep warm?
No, no. He's a yard chauffeur, honey.
Bring him inside, you spoil him.
Is there a Dunkin' Donuts in this town?
Dunkin' Donuts? No, I don't think so.
- Krispy Kreme, something?
- I'm afraid not.
But we have coffee,
and Emma might have a breakfast roll.
Breakfast roll?
Do you have an elevator?
I'm embarrassed to tell you,
it's out of order. You know elevators.
Any oxygen?
You should have warned me.
I'd have brought a paramedic.
Is it much further?
I'd like to get there before dark.
Jorgy, this is Mr. Garfield.
Mr. Garfield, Andrew Jorgenson,
our chairman.
Call me Jorgy. Everybody else does.
Sorry about the elevator.
- It has a mind of its own.
- Mr. Coles, president and general manager.
- Emma, bring in the coffee!
- Nice to meet you.
Last limousine we saw here
was in '48...
...when Truman was running for president.
- That's right.
He stood right out there on those stairs,
exactly where you were.
- Is that so?
- Yep.
That was the golden age.
Rebuilding America and all that.
Old Harry made a great speech that day.
- Is that so?
- Oh, yes. He was very impressive.
He's the only Democrat
Bea and I ever voted for.
Do you know much about
the wire and cable business, Mr. Garfield?
I know if the cable's out of whack,
the elevator don't go up.
- I'm thinking about the doughnuts.
- Doughnuts?
Mr. Garfield was wondering if we had any.
- Bill, do we have doughnuts?
- I don't think so.
How's that coffee coming along?
- Here we are, Mr. Garfield.
- Thank you.
- Sugar and cream?
- Sugar. I'll take care of it.
- Thank you, Emma.
- I could have Emma get doughnuts.
No, no. Why don't we get down
to business.
What's the matter?
You're not interested in doughnuts?
- Would you like me to get some doughnuts?
- No. Never mind, Emma.
You're right.
- Let's talk business.
- Good idea.
What business are we talking about?
Good coffee.
Well, let's put it this way:
Back in New York, I got a computer.
Her name is Carmen.
Every morning, right after I brush my teeth,
I punch out:
"Carmen, computer on the wall,
who's the fairest of them all?"
Now, most mornings, she spits out,
"Garfield, you're the fairest."
But three weeks ago, she said:
"Garfield, Garfield, scratch your balls.
New England..." Pardon me. "New England
Wire and Cable is the fairest of them all."
New England Wire and Cable?
I said, "What's it worth?"
So she showed me the numbers.
You got equipment here
that costs $120 million.
Even at salvage,
it's worth 30, 35 million.
- Can I use that blackboard over there?
- Yeah, go ahead.
Thank you.
Come with me.
Carmen will educate us.
Gonna erase this stuff here.
Here.
Let's put down 30 million.
- How many acres you got?
- A hundred and ten.
Carmen and I figure,
even as farmland, grazing land...
...it's worth 10 million.
- Is that fair?
- Yeah.
Let's lay the 10 under the 30.
That makes 40 million.
You bought some other companies,
didn't you, Bill?
You have a plumbing, an electrical
and some kind of adhesive company.
Boring, but all making a decent profit.
Carmen says they're worth
another 60 mil.
Let's put the 60 under the 40.
And you have working capital of 25 million,
10 of it in cash.
Let's put down 25 million,
add them up and see what you got.
$125 million.
The only bad news is...
...that this wire and cable division
isn't making a profit...
...and all the other divisions
have to support you.
Now, as a stockholder,
that doesn't make me very happy.
Are you finished, Mr. Garfield?
No, I'm not, Bill.
Let's say Carmen was suffering
from premenstrual syndrome.
No offense. A little nuts.
Let's say she was too optimistic.
Let's knock off 25 million.
Here we go.
Let's make it...
...$100 million.
A nice round number.
I like nice round numbers.
Any debt? No.
Any lawsuits?
Any environmental bullshit?
You throwing your garbage in the water?
Of course not. Not you.
What about pension liabilities?
Carmen says you're fully funded.
You people are dreams.
- I think this meeting is over.
- No, no, wait a minute.
Here comes the fun part.
- How many shares outstanding you got?
- Four million.
Divide 4 million into 100 million,
what do you get?
- Twenty-five.
- Good.
That means each share is worth $25.
But that was all foreplay.
Let's go for the real thing.
The stock was 10 when I woke up
three weeks ago.
That's a 10 for a $25 item.
What a sale.
Something worth $25,
I can buy it for 10.
The company's not for sale,
Mr. Garfield.
I don't want your company, Jorgy.
I just want what
every other stockholder wants:
- I wanna make money.
- You are making money, Mr. Garfield.
You bought the stock at 10.
It's now 14.
The stock is 14 because I'm buying it.
I'm doing my part. Now you do yours.
Get rid of this wire and cable division.
It's a financial cancer.
Would you excuse us, please?
I want to talk to Mr. Garfield alone.
What the hell do you think you're doing,
you little son of a bitch?
You can't come into my town, my plant,
take my company.
- You can't do that.
- What, you been living on Mars, Jorgy?
It's called a corporate takeover.
I know what it's called,
and I'm not gonna let you do it.
It's simple. I do it all the time.
Well, do it someplace else.
I'm not gonna commit suicide.
Don't think of it as suicide.
Think of it as euthanasia.
Get out.
Get out.
Get out before I throw you out.
Where are you going?
We're just doing business.
Business? With you?
I got a company to run.
Yeah, well, that's my point.
I don't like the way my company's
being run!
And you better get your elevator fixed!
There's a goddamn fire raging here,
and this whole industry's up in flames!
And you call the fire department,
and who shows up? Nobody.
Because they're all in Japan
and Singapore and Malaysia...
...and Taiwan and every other shithole
where they're crazy about pollution.
And while that inferno is raging,
you're out in front...
...mowing the lawn, tidying up,
playing with your putz on my money!
- You'd think I was asking him for a loan.
- Good day, Mr. Garfield.
I'm not a long-term player.
They give us trouble today?
They're not gonna send us back
to the Bronx, Arthur.
Don't scare me there, Mr. G.
Richardson, I wanna buy up
New England Wire and Cable.
Buy everything you can.
File a goddamned 13D.
- I wanna finish this one quick.
- We're on it.
Well, it's official.
Our friend Garfield's intent
is to take over the company.
He's filed his 13D with the SEC.
He now owns 12 percent of us.
What do you wanna do?
I own 20 percent.
Jorgy, we've got to protect ourselves.
- We need legal advice.
- We have lawyers.
They're not equipped for this.
- We need the best.
- We want to call Kate.
Let me.
What makes you think she'll come?
I'll tell her we need her.
We're family.
Flamboyant L's and M's.
Loves to write "million," doesn't he?
We've never seen a man like that.
He's like something out of a comic book.
So they say.
- Hello, Kate.
- Jorgy.
Thanks for coming.
Doesn't she look splendid?
I have to be back in the city by 5.
Would you mind if we get right down to it?
You're in charge, Kate.
Given that someone is interested
in moving in on you...
...you've no choice
but to protect yourself.
You have some options.
For openers, I recommend changing
your state of incorporation...
...from Rhode Island to Delaware.
- Why Delaware?
That's a good idea.
Strong anti-takeover legislation in Delaware.
And that way we're not playing dead.
- Who the hell is playing dead?
- You have to protect yourself.
- By running away to Delaware?
- Jorgy, it's only on paper.
This company was founded in Rhode Island.
It will remain in Rhode Island.
I'm talking about Delaware, not Nairobi.
Come on.
I own 20 percent of this company.
The board owns another 5,
the employees another 5 percent.
That's 30 percent.
Now, how can this man get control?
What do you want? Do you want me
to negotiate a deal or not?
But there's no deal to be made.
He's knocking at your door.
If you don't answer it,
it's the same as inviting him in.
Listen to her, Jorgy.
There's no deal to be made
with predators.
You kill it, or it kills you.
Well, what do you suggest?
Make it worth his while to leave.
How? How? What do you mean?
Pay him off.
Buy him out at a profit.
It's greenmail, Jorgy,
but it's done all the time.
- It's terrorism, and I won't do it!
- We have other options, don't we?
Well, you're gonna lose your company.
Like hell I am.
You, as they say in the street,
are in play.
Garfield put you there.
And now I'm here as your lawyer.
Isn't that a hell of an irony?
Me trying to save your company.
Well, I can do it.
Yeah?
A Miss Sullivan
from Hudson, Bradley and Flint is here.
And Granger wants to see you
about Trundel
And your suits are ready for a fitting, can they come up at 5?
Yeah, 5:00 is okay. But tell them not to
send the blind son of a bitch with the pins.
- Right, no pins.
- And tell Granger, if he wants to see me...
...he better make more sense than last time,
or he can get on unemployment.
Shall I use those exact words, sir?
Send in Hudson, Bradley and Flint.
Wow.
You know what kills me? I've done
maybe seven, eight deals like this before...
...and you know who I negotiate with?
Skinny little joggers with contact lenses,
all stinking from the same aftershave.
- I'm Kate Sullivan.
- I know.
- Want a cigarette?
- No, thank you.
Don't let me stop you.
Why would you stop me?
What are you, a fucking lawyer?
Depends on who I'm with.
Welcome to my life.
So, what's it gonna be?
Sue, settle, defend?
I came to talk.
Oh, that's trouble.
Lawyers wanna talk,
nothing but trouble.
- How about a doughnut?
- No, thanks.
- Why, are you a health-food freak?
- No, just not hungry.
- You have to be hungry to eat a doughnut?
- You don't?
What, are you shitting me?
I never heard of such a thing,
have to be hungry.
Why? It don't taste better that way.
- How would you know?
- What do you want?
- I need a month.
- Get lost.
I just got involved. I need time to get
everybody's act together.
My act is together.
If you give me some time,
I think we can work something out.
Settle?
Work something out.
- I only settle when I'm in trouble.
- Or when it makes sense.
It only makes sense when I'm in trouble.
Well, if you prefer, we'll go to court.
Get an injunction, have a fight.
All kinds of allegations.
Costs them, costs you, and for what?
I live in court.
You gotta do better than that.
I won't love you anymore.
- Two weeks.
- Standstill agreement.
- Both sides.
- No more buying.
- Two weeks.
- Thank you.
Whoa, where are you going?
We haven't talked about
what I wanna talk about.
- What's that?
- You and me sweating between satin sheets.
Garfield, put your hand between your legs.
Do it!
Good. Now look directly down
at that little guy...
...and you say, "You must behave yourself
when you're in the presence of a lady."
Garfield, if you don't say exactly that
right now, I'm resigning from this case.
- You must behave yourself...
- You must behave yourself...
...when you're in the presence...
...when you're in the presence...
...of a lady.
See? Not so hard.
See you in two weeks.
Wow! Did you see that, Carmen?
I'm in love, I'm in love.
- Goodbye, Miss Sullivan.
- Goodbye.
Call Erickson. Tell him to arrange
some money through the Royal Bank.
Don't pay more than we did
on Fleetwood Furniture.
Then call Hathaway.
Tell him I want to make a tender offer
for New England Wire and Cable.
Don't put it under our name.
Label it OPM Holdings.
But what if she finds out
we broke the agreement?
Richardson, what were you,
born yesterday?
What do you think she's doing?
That kewpie doll's up to no good.
Do it.
I got us an extra two weeks.
Now we have to move fast.
Get the board to buy up as many shares
as they can.
Use your own working capital.
No, that's not what
those dollars are for.
- That's our safety net.
- Then borrow the money.
- No borrowing.
- Andrew, listen to her. She's making sense.
For every share you acquire,
it's one less for Garfield.
The more we buy, the less for him.
The more it costs, the less profit he makes.
So get the stock up.
And, Mom, make sure to buy it
through an out-of-state broker.
I don't wanna borrow money.
We've been debt-free since the depression.
But see, that's the trouble, Jorgy.
It's your gorgeous balance sheet
that makes you so attractive.
And, Mom, get letters out
to the shareholders.
Tell them how great business is
and how wonderful the future looks.
- I'll do it.
- Great.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Good night.
Good morning, honey.
How you doing this morning, huh?
You got it up again.
Another point and a half.
- Pfeiffer.
- Good morning, Mr. Garfield.
- Woody.
- Good morning, Mr. Garfield.
- Harriet.
- Good morning.
Miss Sullivan is gonna call
tomorrow morning.
You tell her I'm not taking calls.
Then, when she comes over here
and tries to storm into the office...
...you try to keep her out.
But then let her push past.
Don't worry, she's desperate but harmless.
Find out where she lives and call a florist.
- Florist?
- Florist.
You have a good evening, Miss Sullivan.
- Hello, Michael.
- Oh, Miss Sullivan, here.
- Somebody brought these by for you.
- Oh, thank you.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- You ruthless son of a bitch!
- Excuse me?
Jeez, I wonder what her problem is.
All right, all right.
Excuse me.
- Hello, Miss Sullivan, may I help you?
- No, I'm sorry. I don't care. I will...
- I don't care! I'm not gonna...
- It's all right, Harriet.
- You can't go in.
- It's not all right, you hypocrite! You lied!
- But, baby-poo...
- We had an agreement.
We had a standstill!
No more buying!
- OPM Holdings? You know nothing about it?
- OPM?
- Not a lot to know.
- You broke the agreement!
You embarrassed me with my firm.
You embarrassed me with my clients!
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Don't come on so holier-than-thou with me.
What am I supposed to do,
sit here while you drive up the stock?
- I did no such thing.
- You're full of shit.
All that buying coming from some little
cockamamie brokerage firm in Rhode Island?
You'd think you'd use an out-of-state firm.
I know nothing about that.
Give me a break.
Who am I dealing with here,
Mother Teresa?
You want to play the game,
learn to play it right.
Oh, is that what you call it,
a game?
You're damn right.
The best game in the world.
I'll teach you. It's easy.
You make as much as you can
for as long as you can.
And then what?
"And then what?"
Whoever has the most when he dies,
wins.
Look. It's the American way.
I'm doing my job.
I'm a capitalist.
I'm simply following
the law of free enterprise.
What law is that?
Survival of the fittest.
Maybe some people don't see it that way.
Maybe they don't see it
as survival of the fittest.
- Maybe they see it as survival of the fattest!
- Oh, Katie, why are you so hard on me?
Because you're not nice.
Since when do you have to be nice
to be right?
You're not right.
You're what's happening.
One day we'll smarten up and pass some
laws and put you out of business.
They can pass all the laws they want.
All they can do is change the rules.
They can never stop the game.
I don't go away. I adapt.
Ten years from now, they'll be studying
you at the Wharton School.
They'll call it the Garfield Era...
...and rinse their mouths out
when they leave the room!
- I'll see you in court!
- Oh, Katie.
Don't leave.
We haven't talked about sex yet.
- At least have a doughnut.
- Stuff it!
Come on. Don't be a poor loser!
Lying to protect your client
is just doing a good job. I understand that.
You didn't even ask me
what OPM stands for.
Other people's money!
All right, come on, come on!
Let's go!
- Work, work, work!
- Yes, sir!
Gotcha! Oh, yes.
How do you have them?
Two years ago, he tried to take over
Westridge Corporation.
He was put under indictment for failing
to disclose his 13D.
- What's this?
- Christmas list.
- What did they do?
- Nothing. Dropped the charges.
- Investors get hurt?
- Nope.
If the charges were dropped,
it's a technicality.
He was required to disclose.
Gerber's in prison, Richard.
Judge Pollard ain't gonna give you
a restraining order based on a technicality.
We are a nation of laws, Marcia.
Ultimately, those laws come down
to technicalities.
Without those technicalities,
what do we have?
Anarchy.
Garfield.
- Anarchy? That's the basis for your brief?
- Correct.
Honeybunch, you better write
a fantastic brief.
- I intend to.
- You wanna send anything to Garfield?
Yeah. A court order.
Do the Japanese celebrate Christmas?
No, but I hear they're buying it.
I had nothing to do with any of this.
Pfeiffer comes walking in...
TRO.
Temporary restraining order.
Thank you very much.
Some crew I've got.
Seventeen lawyers...
...on retainer.
And you manage to work it out...
...so that in a free market...
...a so-called free country...
...I can't buy some shit-ass stock
every other asshole can buy.
Congratulations.
You're destroying the capitalist system.
While everybody else
in the world is embracing it...
...my boys and girls are fucking it up!
You know what happens
when capitalism gets fucked up?
The communists come back.
They come out of the bushes.
Don't kid yourself.
They're waiting in there.
But maybe that's not so bad.
Because you know what happens
when the commies take over?
The first thing they do
is shoot all the lawyers!
And if they miss any of you,
I'll do it myself!
Now let's see if we can get
this small-town judge...
...to change his fucking mind!
Come on.
It wasn't me!
I was in San Francisco!
Mr. Garfield,
a Miss Sullivan is on the line.
- Yes.
- Hello Lawrence.
We're here in the office
toasting Judge Pollard's decision.
Stop gloating. It doesn't become you.
Don't be a poor loser.
I got you on a technicality. Not bad
for some broad wet behind the ears.
I'd like to talk.
I have no time for talk. My days are full.
- I'll buy you a doughnut.
- I'm not hungry.
Since when do you have to be hungry
to have a doughnut?
Shut up.
Stop pouting. I'll buy you dinner.
Name the place.
I have a proposition for you.
You're trying to seduce me.
You have a nice laugh.
My house, 8:00.
How about Lutce?
I wanna talk to somebody,
I go to them.
You wanna talk, come to me. 8:00.
I'll come for 20 minutes.
That's all I need. Strictly business.
Twenty minutes, my place, 8:00
- 5:30
- 5:30?
- Funerals are at 5:30. Seven.
- Six.
- I gotta wash my face.
- 6:30.
- Deal.
- Deal.
Harriet!
Get me my barber.
Get me my manicurist.
Call Arthur. She's coming to the house.
- Miss Sullivan.
- That's me.
- Come on in. The boss is expecting you.
- Thank you.
- Mr. G will be right with you.
- Thank you.
Gloria Taylor.
Quarterback's girlfriend.
All that putz wanted to do was
take her pants off in the back seat...
...while I was ready to feed her...
...protect her,
put jewels around her neck.
I sent her poetry.
Longfellow.
Can't go wrong with Longfellow.
Day by day I gazed upon her
Day by day I sighed with passion
Day by day my heart within me
Grew more hot with love and longing
I gave her "Hiawatha."
All she wanted was a touchdown.
Yeah.
To the quarterback's girlfriend.
To Gloria.
Drink, drink. It's the best.
- You look terrific.
- Thank you.
How about some mushroom dip?
I thought this was a business meeting.
What's wrong with a little dip?
I never met a person so hard to feed.
Who are you mad at?
Come on, have some dip.
Swallow.
Nice.
I think we should talk business.
You have an exquisite neck.
I have to leave by 7.
I have another engagement.
Oh, right. I forgot.
- You got a "proposition."
- Thank you.
- Shoot.
- What will it take for you to go away?
Greenmail?
You're offering to buy me out?
Why so uptight? It's not illegal.
It's immoral.
A distinction that has
no relevance for lawyers.
But it matters to me.
Well, for someone who has
nothing nice to say about lawyers...
...you certainly have
plenty of them around.
They're like nuclear warheads.
They have theirs, so I have mine.
Once you use them,
they fuck up everything.
Let me ask you:
Do you have authorization
to offer me greenmail?
Of course not.
It's a lawyer's scheme.
Everybody walks out happy.
I get paid off.
Jorgy keeps his company.
The employees keep their jobs.
The lawyer gets a big fat fee.
Everybody walks out. Yumpin' yiminy.
Sounds pretty good to me.
- Except for the stockholders.
- Their stock falls out of bed...
...they don't know what hit them.
- Now you're Albert Schweitzer.
No, not Albert Schweitzer,
Robin Hood.
I take from the rich,
and I give to the middle class.
Well, the upper middle class.
- Would you care for some caviar?
- The stock is 18.
Do you like music? The violin?
- Let's be serious.
- Come on, let's change the subject.
- Arthur!
- The stock is 18. We'll buy it back at 18.
- First you laugh at me, then you insult me.
- Then name your number.
- What will you take?
- Twenty-five.
The stock hasn't seen 25 in years.
You want history?
The stock was once 60.
Take 20.
Such a high achiever.
If you're mad at somebody,
don't take it out on me.
Twenty-five is my number,
and that's a favor.
Well, I don't like your number,
and I don't need to be analyzed.
Do we have a deal or not?
Let's discuss it over dinner.
- Good night. Your 20 minutes are up.
- Wait a minute. I want us to be friends.
Let's segue into some soup
and french bread.
Come on. Don't go away mad.
I didn't buy your proposition.
Come back with another one.
You're an emancipated woman.
Learn to lose.
- I haven't lost.
- Wait, wait!
I got a proposition for you.
Hold on, you gotta listen.
You come on back up.
We have a nice dinner.
We make passionate love
for the rest of the night.
The first one who comes, loses.
- Loses what?
- The deal.
I come first, I sell you back
my shares at cost.
You come first, you buy them at 25.
I think you're serious.
So how do you suggest
we write this up?
Delicately.
Under the heading,
"Easy come, easy go."
What do you got to lose, your virginity?
I could lose millions.
So, what happens if we come together?
I never thought of that.
Well...
...think about it, honey.
I will. I will.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Come on. Don't go.
I haven't played my violin yet.
Oh, God.
Hello?
I just wanted to see if you got home safe.
Thank you.
In your beddy-bye?
I am.
- Did I wake you?
- No.
No.
- Did you have dinner?
- Yes.
With who?
None of your business.
- Are you thinking about me?
- No.
Well, how could
you possibly manage that?
Pills, whiskey, self-help tapes.
I got another proposition for you.
Oh, yeah? I can't wait
We swap.
Swap what, dirty jokes?
No. I give you all my shares...
...you give me the wire and cable division.
Hello?
Hello? You like?
- I'll ask them.
- Good.
All right, now wait. Don't go away.
Don't hang up. Don't hang up.
Stay right where you are. All right.
Okay.
Here comes the bridge.
That was very good.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
That was just for you.
Well, I appreciate it.
Sweet dreams.
- Okay. Good night.
- Bye-bye.
Oh, God.
Forget it.
Tell him to go to hell.
He spends $13 million for this place...
...then he sells it for 35.
My guys are out of work,
and he's made $22 million.
- Now how do I live with that?
- We eliminate a losing division.
The other divisions don't have
to support us anymore.
- I don't wanna hear that.
- You still control the company.
- You just don't have the cable division.
- Why is it so difficult...
...for everybody to understand...
...why I can't kill these people
and this town...
...to enrich some son of a bitch
who's trying to destroy me?
I can't play with him
in the courts forever.
He'll get the injunction lifted
and buy more shares.
Don't be a pigheaded fool.
He deserves to lose this company.
- Good night, Mr. Jorgenson.
- Good night, Gus.
Everything going along okay,
Mr. Jorgenson?
Everything's moving right along, Gus.
Everything's gonna be okay,
isn't it, at the plant?
- I mean, at the plant and everything?
- Everything's gonna be just fine.
We'll be making wire and cable
for a long time.
- Yes, sir. Good night, sir.
- Good night.
Jorgy?
- Have you got a minute?
- Sure, Bill.
Do you mind if I speak frankly
to you, Jorgy?
You always have, haven't you?
You know...
...I'm trained to think in contingency.
You know I've spent my life
managing businesses, and...
And...
Bill, you're in a panic.
Well, you know how it is
with business, Jorgy.
When things don't work out quite right...
...and people have invested a lot of time,
a lot of their energy, a lot of themselves...
...management takes care of its own, Jorgy.
It happens all the time.
And given the uncertainty
surrounding us these days...
...and the fact that you haven't set up
any financial guarantees for us, Jorgy...
Lord, I hate...
Hate giving this speech.
When I retire in two years, I've told you,
you're taking over the business.
I promised you that.
There won't be any business
in two years, Jorgy.
There won't be any business in one year.
You're holding on to a dream.
Go home, Bill. Have a drink.
Give my best to Jeanette.
I don't want the rug pulled out
from under me so close to the finish line.
Good night.
Jorgy, I've been here 15 years.
I have a family. Something's due me.
Now, I've worked my ass off
for 15 years...
...and you're gonna let that man come in
and take over the company. It's not right.
I'm sorry, Bill.
Up here we don't plan the funeral
until the body is dead.
Sounds like everybody's hungry.
Well, let's eat.
- Sit down, darling.
- Happy Thanksgiving.
Thank thee, Father, for thy care,
for thy bounty everywhere.
For this and every other gift,
our grateful hearts to thee we lift.
Amen.
Second down and 10, Lions at their 49--
I don't know why you watch this.
It's so stupid!
Maybe if you'd watch, you'd see.
See, he's going right now.
Yes. Go, go, go!
I told you.
My money was on Detroit.
Have to admit,
we still have fresh air up here.
Feels good, all right.
I'm awfully glad you came, Kate.
It means a hell of a lot to your mother.
I love your mother.
I can't say I'm sorry for that,
but I am sorry for whatever it is...
...that it's done to you
in the last 21-odd years.
I'm okay, Jorgy.
Good.
Now let's talk a little business.
Let's quit talking about what I won't do.
Let's talk about what I will do.
I have a problem.
I'm a good lawyer.
I'm a lousy mind reader.
I wanna put it to a vote.
Annual meeting in four weeks.
Wanna put it in the hands
of the stockholders.
Can't do that. It's too risky.
We could lose everything.
- You're a fighter. I'm a fighter.
- It's too dangerous.
There's no other choice
that I can live with.
This 30 percent,
this faithful 30 percent...
...can you absolutely count on them?
They haven't let me down so far.
Awful lot of Ozzies on our side.
Don't trust Ozzie. He's a banker.
I have to trust my friends, Kate.
This is gonna be tough.
I have to get Garfield to buy this.
He won't want to.
It's not to his advantage.
Talk nice.
Give him your best smile.
Come on, Kate.
Let's take on the little son of a bitch.
Let's kick his ass
all the way back to Wall Street.
It's a quiet place.
I thought it would be a good idea
if we calmed down a bit.
Do you like Japanese?
I'd like to have Sony.
Could you bring me a knife and fork?
So, what do you say?
A proxy fight? I'd have to be nuts.
I could sit on my ass and wait
for the injunction to lift...
...buy all the shares I need.
Anybody else,
I wouldn't even come to lunch.
You look very nice today.
But if you win, Lawrence,
it speeds up the process.
You get what you want in three months
instead of a year, maybe two.
I love it when you call me Lawrence.
Say it again.
There's a lot can stand
in your way, Lawrence.
Anti-takeover legislation's
in the works.
Drexel's gone under. Milken's in jail.
Trump's waiting tables.
Don't threaten me.
And just maybe you're over-leveraged,
and you can't afford to wait.
- Thank you. You got any bread?
- No bread.
No bread.
They got no bread.
They wanna run the world,
they got no bread.
In three weeks, you present your own slate.
If you win, you buy everybody out at 20.
If you lose, you sell us back
your shares at 15.
Worst-case scenario,
you still make a couple million.
Amazing people, the Japanese.
We blow the hell out of them.
They go back to school, learn English
and start to run the world.
What do we do?
We get bigheaded,
start living the good life.
Forget about schools.
People can't read. People can't write.
Country's full of dropouts.
Education.
Who needs education as long
as you can blow up the world?
Meanwhile, I got everybody
in my office learning Japanese.
I've never seen such a beautiful lawyer.
Come on, Lawrence.
This is your game.
Winner takes all.
Rumor has it, you got balls.
I've been trying to show you for weeks.
Well, here's your opportunity.
All right.
I can always use
a good proxy bloodbath.
After all, I wanna give you
a fighting chance.
I love you.
Of course you do.
Because we're the same.
We are not the same, Lawrence.
Now, don't go spreading that around.
You know what makes us the same...
...what sets us apart?
We care more about the game
than we do the players.
Oh, is that so?
Yeah...
...that's so.
I'm gonna nail you, Lawrence...
...and everybody
on Wall Street's gonna know...
...some broad did you in.
You're so perfect for me.
- I have to go.
- Don't go.
Lunch is on me, baby-poo.
Where you going?
I have to go back to the office.
Don't go back to the office.
Come and work for me.
Lady said to say, "We have no doughnuts."
Here's your coffee, boss.
You make me feel like a dirty crook.
Sneaking off to Jersey is not my style.
Can we speak frankly?
No. Lie to me.
Tell me how thrilled you are
to know me.
I always speak frankly. I hate people
who say, "Can we speak frankly?"
It means they're bullshitting me
the rest of the time.
I'm listening.
Now...
...as you know, I had 60,000 shares
of New England stock when we first met.
What am I getting, a history lesson here?
Get to the point.
Since becoming aware
of your investments...
...I bought an additional 40,000 shares.
I now have 100,000 shares.
Congratulations.
I'm prepared...
...to sell you the right...
...to vote those shares
at the annual meeting.
How much?
- A million.
- Too much.
You need a million shares
more than you already own.
Now, I can get you 10 percent
of the way there in one transaction.
Better still, it's votes
they're counting on for themselves.
They lose 10 percent,
you gain 10 percent.
If you make a difference...
...if I win by less than 100,000 votes,
you got your million.
Otherwise, I don't need them,
I won't vote them.
I'm not selling you an option.
I'm selling you the right
to vote the shares.
If they make a difference,
you got a million.
If they don't, half a million.
I've prepared the papers.
Left the numbers blank.
You can have your lawyers look at them.
Everybody looks out for their own
self-interest, don't they?
"What's in it for me?"
Isn't that what it's finally all about?
Yes. Very good. Very good.
- When do we run in the Times?
- Tomorrow.
- Times, Barron's, Forbes...
- Boston Herald.
- Next week, major cities in New England.
- Great.
Take this copy and slide it
all over to the right.
And up in the corner here,
put that picture of me.
- You know?
- You look good in that shot.
Oh, God. Look at him.
He's trying to look like Desmond Tutu.
All right, Richard, get our ad agency.
- Call Barbaro. Call Pinelli.
- Barbaro, Pinelli.
- Yeah. Where's that phone call from Tokyo?
- I'm on it.
Taxi. Taxi!
Thanks, Ron.
Mr. Garfield's office.
I expect him back at 5:30.
Thanks, Connie.
I'll ask him to phone you.
Bye-bye.
Look, I found it. I found it.
Mrs. Sullivan. She insisted
on waiting for you.
I would appreciate a few moments
of your time.
Certainly.
Hey, come on in the office.
- Hold my calls.
- Will do.
Come on in. Have a seat right there.
Did your daughter send you?
Because she's full of clever moves.
No, she didn't. She would be
very upset with me if she knew.
I like Kate. She's quite the tomato.
She must have taken after you, huh?
You're very kind.
I would hope this meeting
will be held in confidence.
Everybody's looking
for confidence these days.
You want a cup of coffee?
- Cup of tea? Glass of water?
- You needn't be sociable, Mr. Garfield.
- Harriet, cup of coffee.
- Yes.
You mind if I smoke?
I'd like to tell you why I'm here.
Good. Shoot.
I'm here to plead for our company.
I want to talk to you
about hopes and dreams...
...traditions.
Would you care for a doughnut,
Mrs. Sullivan?
We've worked so hard
to build this company.
We're debt-free...
...and we don't deserve to lose it.
I want you to call off your fight with us.
There's a trust fund in my name
with a million dollars in it.
I'll turn it over to you if you go away.
You don't wanna do that.
We'll buy back your shares at cost,
plus you'll have a million dollars profit.
Interesting.
I know a million dollars
isn't much money to you...
...but if I had more, I'd give it to you.
Who are you doing it for?
Money's not that important to me.
- Well, it is to me.
- Then accept my offer.
You'll have more money
than most people make in a lifetime.
A million dollars.
It's not enough.
Go home, Mrs. Sullivan.
I'd hoped to appeal
to your sense of decency.
I'm sorry.
I don't take money from widows
or orphans. I make them money.
Before or after you put them out
of business?
What a woman.
Harriet, why do I always bring out
the best in people?
Hello?
Hello?
Oh, please.
Arthur!
Get the car. Arthur.
I'm sorry, sir. There's no answer
in Miss Sullivan's apartment.
Well, try it again.
Maybe you dialed it wrong.
No!
Excuse me, Bart.
What are you doing here?
- Who's Bart?
- I'm on my way out. You should've called.
- I need to talk to you.
- I don't have time...
I have something important to tell you.
I need to talk now.
- You look beautiful. Who's this guy?
- Excuse me, Lawrence. Call me tomorrow.
I can't talk tomorrow. It won't keep.
I want you to marry me.
Let me put it another way.
I wanna marry you.
You thinking it over?
- What are you talking about?
- What do you mean?
I want you to be my wife.
We belong together.
- I'm going to the opera. I gotta go.
- No, no, Kate.
You're the last thought I have
when I fall asleep at night...
...and the first when I wake up
in the morning.
I wanna be with you forever and ever.
I wanna have babies with you.
- Babies?
- Yeah.
You see, I gotta do this now,
because after I win...
...maybe you won't wanna speak to me.
- You can't win. I'm gonna win.
I know how important it is to you,
but you're not gonna win.
This is what's killing me.
I want you. I need you. I love you.
I just don't wanna lose you.
- Katherine.
- Keep your pants on, will you, Bart?
- I've gotta go.
- All right, the opera. La Traviata.
You don't wanna miss the first act.
It sets up the whole thing.
It's a wonderful production.
Have a good time.
I'm gonna lose her, Arthur.
Oh, I've been looking for you.
Anytime you're ready.
You okay?
Yeah.
Just going over in my mind
what I wanna say.
They're putting speakers outside.
I think every shareholder
within driving distance is coming.
I feel as if we're Harry and Bess
on election night.
Harry Truman was a better man than me.
He slept on election night.
I haven't slept in days.
Talk to me. Tell me.
I'm scared.
I'm scared that...
...time has passed us by.
I'm scared I don't know
this new environment.
I'm scared that what I do know
doesn't count for anything anymore.
Things have changed.
Whatever happened
to people serving each other?
I don't want this man to win.
I'm not scared.
I'm just proud.
I'm proud of the business we've built.
I'm so proud of you.
And if what we are
counts for nothing anymore...
...then that's their failing, not ours.
It'll be all right.
Just go out and tell the truth.
Go out and give them hell, Harry.
Good luck to us all today, Bill.
I feel we're gonna be just fine.
Looks like they've come from everywhere.
New York, Boston.
- There's Ozzie.
- Happening all over, isn't it?
Everybody looking out for themselves.
So did you get
your golden parachute, Bill?
Did he finally promise to take care of you?
Lord of the manor, house on the hill.
Said he didn't want to talk about a funeral
while there was no corpse.
Well, time to go.
Bill.
How you gonna vote?
Oh, boy. They're out in droves, Arthur.
They got the kids here.
Why do they always bring the kids,
Arthur?
That's right. Hooray, hooray.
Down with Garfield.
Okay, TV crews.
Financial News Network, here we come.
Mr. Garfield!
What are your plans
for New England Wire and Cable?
Make the stockholders richer.
Will you liquidate New England Wire and
Cable? And if so, what about the workers?
My obligation is to the stockholders.
The board of directors make that decision.
Oh, come on!
What about the workers?
Are they gonna lose their jobs?
Come on, answer the question.
Come on, Mr. Garfield!
How do you feel about the outcome
of today's proxy vote?
I feel confident that the shareholders
will vote their consciences.
I have every confidence
in this company's future.
Could I have your attention, please?
Welcome to...
...New England Wire and Cable's
annual stockholders' meeting.
I'm William J. Coles, your president,
and I'm sure...
I'm sure that everyone here realizes
the most important item on the agenda...
...is the election
of the board of directors.
Now, there are staff members
passing out the ballots.
Right now, I am very proud
to introduce to you...
...a man who could accurately
be characterized as a legend...
...in the wire and cable industry.
The chairman of the board
of New England Wire and Cable...
...Mr. Andrew Jorgenson.
Give them hell, Andy!
It's good to see so many...
...familiar faces, so many old friends.
Some of you I haven't seen in years.
Thank you for coming.
Bill Coles, our able president,
in the annual report, has told you...
...of our year, of what we accomplished,
of the need for further improvements...
...our business goals for next year
and the years beyond.
I'd like to talk to you
about something else.
I want to share with you
some of my thoughts...
...concerning the vote that you're going
to make in the company that you own.
This proud company, which has survived
the death of its founder...
... numerous recessions,
one major depression and two world wars...
... is in imminent danger
of self-destructing.
On this day, in the town of its birth,
There is the instrument
of our destruction.
I want you to look at him in all of his glory.
"Larry the Liquidator."
The entrepreneur of post-industrial America
playing God...
...with other people's money.
The robber barons of old at least
left something tangible in their wake.
A coal mine, a railroad, banks.
This man leaves nothing.
He creates nothing.
He builds nothing.
He runs nothing.
And in his wake lies nothing
but a blizzard of paper to cover the pain.
Oh, if he said, "I know how to run
your business better than you"...
...that would be something
worth talking about...
...but he's not saying that.
He's saying, "I'm gonna kill you
because at this particular moment in time...
...you're worth more dead than alive."
Well...
...maybe that's true, but it is also true...
...that one day this industry will turn.
One day when the yen is weaker,
the dollar is stronger...
...or when we finally begin
to rebuild our roads, our bridges...
...the infrastructure of our country,
demand will skyrocket.
And when those things happen,
we will still be here...
...stronger because of our ordeal,
stronger because we have survived.
And the price of our stock
will make his offer pale by comparison.
God save us if we vote to take
his paltry few dollars and run.
God save this country
if that is truly the wave of the future.
We will then have become a nation
that makes nothing but hamburgers...
...creates nothing but lawyers
and sells nothing but tax shelters.
And if we are at that point in this country
where we kill something...
...because at the moment
it's worth more dead than alive...
...well...
...take a look around. Look at your
neighbor. Look at your neighbor.
You won't kill him, will you? No.
It's called murder, and it's illegal.
Well, this, too, is murder,
on a mass scale.
Only on Wall Street,
they call it maximizing shareholder value...
...and they call it legal.
And they substitute dollar bills
where a conscience should be.
Damn it!
A business is worth more
than the price of its stock.
It's the place where we earn our living,
where we meet our friends...
...dream our dreams.
It is, in every sense, the very fabric
that binds our society together.
So let us now, at this meeting...
...say to every Garfield in the land...
...here, we build things,
we don't destroy them.
Here, we care about more
than the price of our stock.
Here...
...we care about people.
Thank you.
And now I'd like to introduce
Mr. Lawrence Garfield.
Mr. Gar...
Excuse... Please.
Let's show a little courtesy,
ladies and gentlemen.
Mr. Garfield is the president
and the chairman of the board...
...of Garfield Investments.
Mr. Garfield.
Amen.
And amen.
And amen.
You have to forgive me.
I'm not familiar with the local custom.
Where I come from, you always say amen
after you hear a prayer.
Because that's what you just heard.
A prayer.
Where I come from...
...that particular prayer
is called the prayer for the dead.
You just heard the prayer for the dead,
my fellow stockholders...
...and you didn't say amen.
This company is dead.
I didn't kill it. Don't blame me.
It was dead when I got here.
It's too late for prayers.
For even if the prayers were answered
and a miracle occurred...
...and the yen did this
and the dollar did that...
...and the infrastructure did the other thing,
we would still be dead.
You know why?
Fiber optics.
New technologies.
Obsolescence.
We're dead, all right.
We're just not broke.
And do you know the surest way
to go broke?
Keep getting an increasing share
of a shrinking market.
Down the tubes.
Slow but sure.
You know, at one time...
...there must have been dozens
of companies making buggy whips.
And I'll bet the last company around
was the one that made...
...the best goddamn buggy whip
you ever saw.
Now, how would you have liked to have
been a stockholder in that company?
You invested in a business,
and this business is dead.
Let's have the intelligence,
let's have the decency...
...to sign the death certificate,
collect the insurance...
...and invest in something with a future.
"But we can't," goes the prayer.
We can't, because
we have a responsibility...
...a responsibility to our employees,
to our community.
What will happen to them?
I got two words for that:
Who cares?
Care about them? Why?
They didn't care about you.
They sucked you dry.
You have no responsibility to them.
For the last 10 years,
this company bled your money.
Did this community ever say,
"We know times are tough.
We'll lower taxes,
reduce water and sewer"?
Check it out. You're paying
twice what you did 10 years ago.
And our devoted employees who have taken
no increases for the past three years...
...are still making twice
what they made 10 years ago.
And our stock,
one-sixth what it was 10 years ago.
Who cares?
I'll tell you.
Me.
I'm not your best friend.
I'm your only friend.
I don't make anything?
I'm making you money.
And lest we forget,
that's the only reason...
...any of you became stockholders
in the first place.
You want to make money.
You don't care if they manufacture wire
and cable, fried chicken or grow tangerines!
You wanna make money!
I'm the only friend you've got.
I'm making you money.
Take the money.
Invest it somewhere else.
Maybe...
Maybe you'll get lucky,
and it'll be used productively.
And if it is, you'll create new jobs
and provide a service for the economy...
...and, God forbid,
even make a few bucks for yourselves.
And if anybody asks,
tell them you gave at the plant.
And by the way...
...it pleases me that I am called
"Larry the Liquidator."
You know why, fellow stockholders?
Because at my funeral...
...you'll leave with a smile on your face
and a few bucks in your pocket.
Now, that's a funeral worth having.
The ballots will be marked...
...and deposited in the ballot boxes
at the rear of the hall. Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen, please.
May I have your attention, please?
I will now read
the results of the balloting.
To retain the present board:
1,741,416.
For the opposition: 2,219,901.
Not voting: 176,111.
Mr. Garfield, your slate is elected.
Congratulations, Mr. Garfield.
Congratulations, Lawrence.
You okay, boss?
You want some chicken soup
or something?
No.
Pie?
No.
How about some of that carrot cake
you like so much?
No.
Well, Carmen, we did it again.
I can always count on you, can't I?
Another barrelful of money.
Not bad for a kid from the Bronx.
I love money.
I love money.
Mr. Garfield, Kate Sullivan is on the line.
Are you in or out, Mr. Garfield?
- Hello?
- You're a greedy, arrogant, self-absorbed...
- ... overbearing...
- Avaricious?
I have a proposition for you.
Are you ready, Lawrence?
Ready.
Air bags.
Air bags?
Every car in America
is about to have one.
Did you know that air bags
are made from stainless-steel wire cloth?
Did you dump Bart?
The Mitsushimi Company of Japan
is ready to make a long-term deal...
...with New England Wire and Cable...
... for the production of air bags.
I love the sound of your voice.
Well, here comes the best part, Lawrence.
You sell Wire and Cable
back to the employees.
They modernize and re-equip the plant
and turn out air bags.
What's in it for me?
They'll pay 28 bucks a share.
You like?
They'll go to 30.
Thirty? You think so?
Why not? We'll talk about it at dinner.
I'll see you in an hour.
Lunch, tomorrow, 1:00.
You know where. Strictly business.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Strictly business.
Wow, did you hear that, Carmen?
Harriet! Call my manicurist,
call the barber, call the florist...
...tell Arthur I want two tickets
to the opera tomorrow night. Puccini.
We're back in business!
It's money that I love.