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Ouijageist (2018)
Good morning, Im Peter Sommers
Top story today is 32 year old Swiss banker, Tobias Bachman Is still missing after allegedly killing 6 people Yep, all in, I just feel like my entire life is either in cardboard boxes or bin bags No, no, you have got to see this house, it is gorgeous Just hope my mums right about the rent because this place is way nicer then the last Mr Bachman from the Chateau D'Oex, in Switzerland, has been missing since Thursday Oh talk of the devil, shes just pulled up with Emily Yeah Im going to have to catch you later Becca, yeah you too, all right, see you later Police have no clue to his whereabouts, our man Matt is on the scene So is it okay then sweetheart? The house? Oh its lovely I knew youd like it Like it, I love it Oh Im so pleased Thanks mum Did you manage to break anything while you were unpacking No, there's still time Wheres Mungo? I had to pop him outside he was getting underfoot Pop her down for me mum, Ill go see what hes up to and then Ill pop the kettle on Ok I love this house Mungo Mungo What have you got now? I cant find any mugs Whats that? A box, the dog found it It cant have been there very long, I wonder whats in it Looks like a game, but, whod bury a game Probably kids mucking around, they do strange things like that Ugly looking thing isnt it? Do you remember when you went through that phase of wanting to do everything With your eyes closed Oh yeah, I used to get dressed with my eyes closed And put my clothes on and tie my shoelaces with my eyes closed But I drew the line when it came to mealtimes, do you remember that oxtail soup Can you get that for me mum? Look whos here Oh, hi Laurie. Was just about to make a cuppa do you want one? Not for me, thanks. Im not stopping just popped in to see how the move went Great. No problems look I just wanted to thank you, you helped me out of a real hole And it was a hole, too! That flat was disgusting all that damp Well, thats in the past now. I just hope youll be happy here Im sure we will be. At least I know youre not a slum landlord Well, if you have any problems you just let me know Thanks Laurie, Ill bear than in mind What are the local kids like, Laurie? What the kids? Theyre fine. Not much trouble I wish they wouldnt play football in the street though. Theyll break a window one of these days Why do you ask? No reason But we just found something buried in the garden What did you find? This Its a game of some sort Yeah, I think its called a spirit board Whats a spirit board? Its just Tommy-rot. Theyre used to contact the spirits of the dead. Its just a load of rubbish Sounds harmless enough. You dont believe in that, do you? No, I told you. Its a load of tripe But how did it end up being buried in the garden? Like you said, probably kids mucking about. Ill tan their arses if I see them Only got UHT milk Im afraid. Are you sure you dont wanna stay for a cuppa, Laurie? No thanks, love. Ill be off now Ill be seeing you, India. And you remember where I am if you need me Alright Ill see you later Laurie Bye Such a lovely man Yes I wonder why it bothered him so much though Dunno, mum Here How did the family first meet Laurie in the first place? Weve known him for years like he says, hes always here for us So was he an old friend of grandads then? I expect so Do you know, now youve asked me I honestly cant remember the first time I met Laurie Must be my age, Im cracking up Okay, lets see if we cant get organised? Where do you want to start? Hi Becca Yeah, I was No I should have been up by now anyway Yeah I'm sure we can make that Sids Cafe 11am Uh-huh, well be there Ok... bye I must be losing it Why would I have brought this to bed with me Hiya Hi Ok? Yes, I suppose so Look at what auntie Beccas got Just look at the mess shell make of that Hi girls, what can I get for you? Can I get a cuppa tea please? Do you want a brew Two teas please, thanks So are you all settled in then? No, not yet Im not even unpacked Oh. I am sorry I couldnt help with the move. There's no way I could have got the time off work I was on a fag break when you called me Oh, I phoned your friend Terry. He wants to see me about the job Terry? Hes my dads friend. I think hes a bit of a letch Oh, great! So Im going to be working for a pervy old man Calm down... hes okay I just think hes a bit seedy. I mean hes got to be nearly fifty Oh yeah I remember. You think anyone over the age of thirty is over the hill Well, youre more or less past it by then Does Nathan know your views because hes twenty-five And youre getting married next year so you could get a good 4 or 5 years out of him before you put him out to pasture Ill scare him into staying young Anyway, whenre you going to see Terry? He wants to see me tomorrow afternoon Does he know youre a single parent? No Do you think thatll matter? Dunno Thanks So whos gonna look after Emily when your at work? Mums volunteered. Its only a part-time job so it wont be every day What about Paul? Well, hes not helped so far, so I dont expect any help now Doesnt he pay anything towards her upkeep? He hasnt got anything. Hes either pissed or stoned or most of the time both So we still on for tonight then? Bottle of wine and a chick flick? If I can find the bottle opener And this time I choose the film Dont worry about the bottle opener. Ill bring a spare just in case Whoops Can I help you? Erm... is Terry around? I'm Terry India Harper we spoke on the phone about a job Delighted And who's this? Oh, this is my daughter, Emily Hello Emily So whod look after Emily if you came to work here, India? My mum can fit around any hours you might want me to work Have you worked in a retail environment before? What are you like handling money? I used to work at Tesco Tesco... right Have you ever worked with animals before? Well, sort of Sort of? Well I used to work at the fishmonger counter at Tesco Well, youll find the stock a little more livelier here, but still slippery customers though So what are you like handling rodents? Fine No problem What about reptiles? Again, no problem Well, what would you be like feeding rodents to reptiles? Well they have to be fed you know I don't know Well its a good job I dont keep exotic pets here were strictly a traditional pet pantry Well, you come recommended by Rebecca She's got a bit of an imagination on her mind But she is a good girl Her dad speaks highly of you So do you want the job? Yeah of course Is that it? Well the animals seem to like you, Ill see you on Monday Yeah, cool Great Bye So then he was like, well the animals seem to like you and that was it Well, things are looking up, arent they? New house, new job We just need to sort you out with a new fella Mungos the only man for me thank you Well heres to a bright future Cheers Whats the matter with Mungo? Hes usually my best mate when I visit I don't know Hes been off since we moved in When I came in this afternoon from seeing Terry, he was just frantic Hes probably just pleased to see you. You know, alone in a new house Maybe Just when we moved in he was fine and then What? Well, he found that box and he was desperate to get it out of the ground Once I got it out, it was like he was Terrified of it What box? Oh, some sort of board game. Laurie said its a spirit board But I think its just some of the local kids messing around Whats it for? Apparently its for contacting the spirits of the dead Actually I left it upstairs, Ill go and fetch it for you Ok that's weird I swear Id left it upstairs Are you sure this is supposed to be safe? I mean you hear about stuff like this Youre worse than Laurie. Of course its safe. Its a board game like Snakes n ladders or ludo Yeah but what are you supposed to do? I think we use this thing And we each put a finger on it and ask it a question Go on then, ask a question How many children will Rebecca and Nathan have? You pushed it Moi? I think its more wishful thinking on your part Ok Lets try again and I promise I wont cheat this time Ok How many children will Rebecca and Nathan have? I must not of closed the front door properly Do you want another drink, settle your nerves? No thanks Fancy another go? No thank you, I think Ill take the hint Are you ok? Yeah, Im just a bit cold Do you want to borrow a jumper? Could I? Ill get you one No no no, Ill get it I need the loo anyway Whats the matter, boy? You just havent been yourself, have you? Well? Theyve operated. Shes still unconscious Did they say... ... Is she going to be alright? They said its too soon to tell Its a really bad fracture And who's with her now? Her mum and dad and Nathan, he just dropped me off I feel dreadful. Something like this happening in one of my houses Its my fault. I put the stupid baby gate up It was an accident, sweetheart. She couldnt see where she was going A million-to-one accident... the policeman said that Put the kettle on, shall I? If you need anymore help just give me a shout okay? Thank you Are you going to see Rebecca tonight? Yeah visiting time is 5pm until 7pm Any change? Not really Shes still in the coma three weeks now and no change Ive hardly spoken to Michael since the accident. I dont like to bother him really Would you tell him that Im thinking about them all? Of course I will how do you know him anyway? Weve known each other over thirty years. We went into apprenticeships together Would you believe I went into engineering at first I didnt like it, Michael stuck with, I wasnt that interested myself He went on and carried on doing it, but my passion has always been with animals Anyway, we ended-up being made redundant and I opened this place up Michael went into business for himself Then he met Elaine And they had Rebecca Happy families Didnt you ever fancy having a family yourself? It was never in my blood really. I was an orphan I never knew my dad and my mum died when I was four And I was raised by my Auntie Elsie Thats so sad But hey, look, we're a bit quiet today, why dont you get yourself off a little bit earlier Go get yourself something to eat and you can spend more time with Rebecca Thanks Terry Emily? Emily? Emily? Emily? Emily Emily.... Emily... Emily Earth to Earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, Amen Stupid question really but howre you doing? Coping... just about Well, Ill go and say cheerio to Michael and be on my way Hi Thanks for coming Will I see you at the wake later No since the accident I cant bare to be away from Emily Understood How is she holding up? Shes fine it was more the shock than anything frightened me to death Well Glad shes on the mend Well, Id better... you know Poor, poor lad He was always so confident shed make it and now Come on, sweetheart. Lets get you home Ill just go and say goodbye to Michael Ill meet you back at the car Thanks for driving us Laurie Everything okay? Yes, just letting my imagination run away with me a little bit What do you mean by that, imagination It's nothing just an old mans fancies. Jumping at shadows No go on I know its all nonsense really but... ... There are one or two things I didn't tell you about that house when India moved in Like what? Do you know Shakespeare? Shakespeare? Hamlet There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio Than are dreamt of in your philosophy What? Whats that supposed to mean? Sometimes theres more than meets the eye I dont know what youre trying to suggest, Laurie, but you just keep it to yourself My daughters just had to say goodbye to her best friend. Shes heartbroken India has enough to deal with right now Without you frightening her and your scaremongering Im sorry... I wont say a word, I promise Oh, Im sorry... its just the strain of these last two weeks, is just bubbling to the surface Youve been marvellous. With India and Emily and helping them out We just need to think more positively. We need to put this dreadful time behind us Owwww Please can I have my ball back? Ill put a bloody carving knife through it Neesha? Up here Is everything okay? Something awfuls happened Its okay, Emilys fine, shes fine, its your dog What about him? Where is he? Thats just it I dont know. The front door bell rang, I answered the door He ran through my legs and he was gone But before then hes was under the television, he wouldnt come forward, then suddenly Who was at the door? Thats the peculiar thing there was no-one at the door. No sign of anyone Well, I suppose he wouldnt have gotten far I feel awful, Im so sorry Dont worry about it Neesha, Its not your fault Honestly hes been acting up the last couple of weeks Im sure hes just gone to the park And well go down there and well find him Hiya mum No, no sign of him yet Nothing. Just listening to some music Yeah I suppose hell turn up when hes hungry Yeah, you too... Bye Bloody kids And you say youve never had trouble from this cheeky boy before Who hangs around the back Hes a nuisance with the football. Cheeky with it though He nearly hit me with it yesterday, he was very rude too But hes never caused any damage to the property or anything like that? Not deliberately, no And youve never witnessed him doing any acts of cruelty to animals? No Well there's not a lot to go on But just because hes made a nuisance of himself with the football Doesnt mean to say that hes going to do anything worse But this is a serious matter and itll need to be looked into If somebody is hurting animals they need to be stopped. Ill make some enquiries Ill see you out Why are all these things happening mum? Oh Shhh Ill make some tea, shall I? Do you want tea? I want to know whats going on Going on? Dont mess about, Laurie. You know. What you told me at the funeral I shouldnt have brought that up But you did bring it up. Why? Its nothing Laurie, if you think theres anything at all wrong with this place And India and Emily are in danger, you need to tell me and tell me now Im not sure theres anything I can tell you What do you mean by that? At the funeral you said More than meets the eye What did you mean? Laurie. Do you think theres something wrong with this house? Yes or no? No Then whats it all about? Karen If I thought there was anything wrong with this house I would tell you Ok But what I said before still stands. Not a word to India Ill finish making the tea Oh, and Laurie... theres a packet of chocolate digestives in the end cupboard Hello? Hello? Oh... Hey I have this... ... Board in a box. I wanted to sell it I was wondering if I can get anything for it Don't worry, it does that all the time Now what have you got here? I found it buried in my garden An interesting place to find anything Well I must say it's in nice condition considering Do you think I could get much for it then? Eastern European Early 19th Century They transported the wood from the Black Forest in Germany So it is worth something then? No, not really There's no demand for them any more... witchboards Mumbo jumbo stuff Best not play with it though Just in case What have you got here? What the hell are you doing here, Paul? How did you find me? Look, I know its not cool to just turn up, but I couldnt call you. I dont have your number Yeah, theres a reason for that now piss off Dont say that. I just want to talk Honest Just leave me alone Ive got money Money for you and Emily Fine let's go for a coffee Where did you get it? Working You mean dealing? No, its all pukka You havent told me how you found me It was accidental I saw you coming out of that pet shop on Pemberton Road And followed you When? It was last week So why didnt you just speak to me? I know its a bit weird but I knew youd just shine me off if I came up to you in the street So you decided to wait a week, and then tell me youve been stalking me I was waiting until payday... I couldnt just turn up empty-handed you know See So whats this job then? Its nothing much, but Ive got a job at the car plant. Do a lot of nights So why havent you been in touch before? Where were you when Emily needed new things I know Ive been a bit of a slacker A bit? You havent had a job in the five years Ive known you And youre always pissed or stoned and you dont give a fuck about your own daughter I know I know. Look Inds, I know Ive not been much of a dad to Emily but I want to make up for it Where is Emily? Shes with my mum. Shes giving me a day off So where are you living now? Back at mum and dads, as soon as Ive got enough money Ill get a flat So why this sudden change of heart? You havent cared much up til now I heard about Rebecca I didnt like her much but it was a fucking horrible thing to happen And it got me thinking a bit Lifes too short, aint it? So I... ... Got out her baby picture and it made me feel all funny. Like I should be doing more Anyway, I asked mum and dad if I could move back in I applied for a load of jobs, got the one at the car plant. Ive been there three months Thats got to be a record. You doing anything other than a week Can I get you a drink? Coffee would be good. Four sugars please I see some things dont change eh? I'll have a cup of tea please Watch my things Paul, I need the loo So what do you want to do? Paul What the fuck Paul That was boiling Jesus Paul? Hed been dead for about twelve hours when they found him In the river? But thats miles away from the cafe. How could he have run all that way? I think, knowing what we know of Mr. Simms, he might have taken drugs Well know more for definite when we get the results of the post-mortem If he was under the influence of LSD Hed have run that three miles without even taking a breath What are you doing up, sweetheart? Couldnt sleep Kept seeing Its ok Well see ourselves out Try not to worry about this, India If we have anymore questions well be in touch, but I dont think theres much more to add Thank you Do you feel like a little something to eat? No. Im not hungry. I feel a bit sick Hardly surprising. What the hell was he playing at? I mean... I dont know why you even went for coffee with him You knew what he was like. People like him never change I told you. It wasnt like that He was fine when I went to the toilet Well he must have taken something while you were in there Mum youre not listening, something happened to him Well drugs do funny things to people I know what drugs can do. I was there, remember. It wasnt the drugs Thatll be Laurie How is she? Still shocked. Can you blame her? Is Emily still with Neesha? Yes, and I should think about collecting her. Neeshas had her all day Oh, Laurie. I dont know what to say. Im so sorry about this Dont worry about it. If anything, I should be apologising to you and India Why? None of this is your fault No, but I still feel so responsible And remember, not a word about any silly theories Sorry Oh no love, the important thing is that you're okay I dont want to go back... Not yet mum Its okay. Its okay. You dont have to do anything until youre ready You can stay here for as long as you like You dont mind do you Laurie? None of my business, love. You do whatever you thinks best. You just take your time Right, Ill be off. I just called round to see youre alright Penny for them, sweetheart Do you believe in curses, mum? What do you mean... Whyre you asking me that? With everything thats happened, Rebeccas accident Emily falling in the bath, Mungo and now Paul Of course I dont believe in curses and neither should you. Bloody rubbish. Its just bad luck But everythings gone wrong since I moved into that house. Nothings gone right Well, what about your job? That was good luck, wasnt it? Youve not mentioned this to anyone else, have you? No. Like who? Like Laurie for instance No, why would I mention it to Laurie Nothing Shall I go and collect Emily... Neesha will think weve abandoned her Hello, Mark. I was going to report you as missing Yeah, sorry business is booming, booming Ive been taking a new round since they built those new houses over on Baker Way No time for your regulars now then? I've always got time for the old favourites Not so much of the old. Glad someones having some luck Did you hear about what happened here? Girl who lives here. Her friend fell down the stairs That was here? I heard about that Yeah. Anyway, can you do this as well as mine? Just knock on the door when youre done Can I get in round the back? Yes, it should be open Oh and Mark... ... Just mind out. Be careful Ive done this before a few times before I think Ill be alright Yeah, I dont want any more accidents Are you sure about this? Yes mum We cant stay here indefinitely, can we? Actually, you can and I wish you would Mum, Im too old for that. You know I like my independence But after everything thats happened? Yeah but you were right Its just a case bad luck. The only way to do it is to get in front go it, it cant last forever Can it? Well you will call if anythings worrying you Dont I always Oh hello Laurie Hi Karen I wasnt expecting you today Yeah well India insisted on coming back... I can't think why, but... Oh hi She's down Look will someone please tell me whats happening? Please Lauries got a theory about... about whats been happening Well? Come on, Laurie. If my daughters in any kind of danger I need to know about it Its like I told your mum. Its as if this house has got bad luck associated with it Well, you could say that No, I mean looking back, its as if its always had bad luck associated with it Please just tell me everything Well, its sound ridiculous to say it but I think the place is haunted Haunted You mean ghosts? Well... Yes Mum Laurie said there seems to have been a lot of misfortune here over the years And you let Emily and me carry on living here when you knew that? I didnt believe it Would you? I dont know what to believe After everything that have happened I really dont know what to believe anymore See today clinched it for me There was no way that, that hose wouldve got wrapped around the door handle No way And you really believe a ghost did that... do you know how mad that sounds? But look whats happened, look what happened since you moved in here If just one of those things would have happened you couldve maybe called it bad luck Two, coincidence What about the rest? Your friend tripping The toilet door sticking I had that lock to pieces myself and there was absolutely nothing wrong with it. Nothing at all Your boyfriend So what do we do? I dont know Look I dont believe in ghosts... but I do believe that this place... has bad luck You can stop with me for as long as you like, you know that I think we need to keep our heads Well perhaps we need to seek some professional help for this Professional? Ill phone Father West and ask him to pop round Father West? Why? Is that really necessary? Itll put everyones mind at rest... Right now these two are coming with me Go and get Emily... Can you help me with the bags, put them in the car? Im not going to be forced out, mum Well come with you tonight... But Im going to get to the bottom of all this Hello? Hello Misses Harper? Misses Harper? Sorry if Im a bit early. I was due to call on Mrs. Frobisher But she cancelled on me at the last minute Anyway, thats about the size of it. He was very shaken-up Ive sent him on retreat for a couple of weeks. Recharge his batteries. Hell be okay after a rest And you believe all that? Everything he told you? Mrs. Harper, I think youd probably be surprised at what were called on to believe at times But in this day and age Well extraordinary to think, but it does happen And the age we live in is immaterial. You say there was a spirit board? Yes, but its just a toy, isnt it? Believe me, dabbling with such things is no game And the consequences can be too terrible to contemplate So it was my fault for messing with it? Oh no, I doubt it. If what Mr. Fairbairns tells me is true This goes back some time. The spirit board was more likely the trigger than the cause Sometimes incidents of this nature can be attributed to a form of psychosis So you think Ive made this up... That I'm mad? Oh, no, no, no. Thats not what it means The human brain is a very powerful organ. Its capable of much more than we might imagine I never really thought there was so much in it Have you ever heard the expression The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist? The Usual Suspects, 1995... But Hollywood stole it from higher sources, as they wont to do You dont believe its the Devil, do you? My faith in the Almighty is unshakable, Mrs. Harper, but for every Yin there is a Yang I dont follow you You know its funny how so many believers have an unshakable Faith in our Lord But have trouble admitting to belief in the powers of darkness However... In order to believe in one, you must believe in the other And you believe this is the work of the Devil? Not necessarily but I do believe that unquiet spirits might be at work in the house Thats unbelievable Its not as uncommon as you might think... Have you seen the film Poltergeist? The one with the clown and the tree? Thats it 1982. But did you ever see Poltergeist 2? Oooh you must. 1986. Fascinating stuff Shows how the potent combination of madness and religion can in theory, of course Prove sufficient to enable passage from the netherworld to our own Much has been made of the scientific study of poltergeists But in my opinion this second movie delves into uncharted realms Insanity as a bridge from the other Side Insanity? Not in any conventional sense, my dear Lunatics on the loose, induced latent psychosis, all that hogwash. No no no What we may be facing is a genuine spirit of evil Somehow, whatever this is has found a portal to the earthly realm The movie depicts a seemingly physical menace But what were dealing with may well be incapable of materialisation So instead it has to plant hallucinatory visions in the consciousness Of those it wishes to do harm Merely my theory, of course Though one backed up by research by some of the leading experts in the field That's incredible... So what can we do? Id like to take a look for myself if I may? Would you like me to come with you? Thank you. Ill go over tomorrow. This needs looking into as soon as possible Dont look so worried These may be powerful forces were dealing with but we have good on our side We will prevail Ah Mrs Harper Bishop Chapman Laurie Now dont expect any of those Father Merrin power of Christ antics The reality of these matters is usually somewhat less dramatic Than cinema would have us believe Father Merrin? Thats The Exorcist isnt it? Two points, my dear. Some in the Church admired it greatly But I saw the real thing once and have to say the film got it all wildly wrong The lounge? Straight through Splendid Oh dear Lord Oh dear dear me, Im really, terribly sorry, Bishop Its just like that film you mentioned isnt it But I came in and hovered while India was out at work Im awfully sorry, I cant imagine what you must have thought No harm done, let me help you put everything back So, Bishop do you think its all clear? Well Ive seen nothing to indicate otherwise, this house may well be untainted at present At present? Do you mean there could be other Manifestations? Well, given the extraordinary events youve described Plus poor Father Wests troubles I hesitate to give the all-clear. There seems to be little more I can do here today, however Other than demolish another of these delicious iced confections Hodges youre among friends, were just here to help What the hells happening? I honestly dont know, Charlie. He just started foaming at the mouth, about ten minutes ago Thanks for answering to the call so quickly Ill try to close in Charlie... Charlie Officer down Are you sure you want to do this... You said you didnt believe in it I dont really... What about you? Im just here to help... If I can I suppose Im trying to prove a negative If nothing happens we can call it bullshit and move forward The Bishops clearly a believer in evil as well as the forces for good And he seemed to doubt that there was anything to fear here. I just want to be sure Well if youre sure? Sure Im sure... Lets finish this Lets start with the old favourite shall we? Is there anybody there? Let me try How did the board get here? Were getting nowhere Its probably a good job too... You might just be right Let's try again please Becca What really killed Rebecca? Come on girl, thats a bit much I just I miss her I know, whatever may or may not happen here, dont tie that terrible accident into it all Its like the Bishop said, in a funny way its not ghosts or ghouls that influencing us Its us You know people come up with some funny shit sometimes Odd connections, stuff buzzing through your brain Its trying to make sense even where there isnt any Ok Just one more time and well call it a night? Okay then girl, make it a good one Can you tell... What really happened to Father West? You know, this boards not giving anything up tonight. Perhaps theres nothing to give Perhaps the Bishop was right... Coincidence... Psycho-suggestion, all in the head What happened to Rebecca Could have happened to me or anyone who went past that baby gate And losing a good friend so young like that Youre bound to want answers... But sometimes thats not possible Thanks for coming tonight I dont know who else Id have asked... Even if we both look a bit silly now Well like you said, at least you might have proved a point Well, sounds as though the winds picking up. Id better wander back Are you going to be okay? Fine Fine... Ill see you soon Goodnight India, love Laurie? Laurie? Becca? Fuck you Shit Fuck Get out of my life Leave me alone Good morning I'm Peter Sommers Top story today is, twenty three year old single mother, India Harper is still missing after allegedly killing three people. Miss Harper, from Dudley in the West Midlands has been missing since Tuesday If you have any information as to her whereabouts please contact your local police station |
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