# Oaria raio #
# Oba oba oba #
# Oh-oh-oh-oaria raio #
# Oba oba oba #
# Mas que nada #
# We came to make it hotter #
# We beat the party starters #
# Bubblin' up just like lava #
# Like lava,
heat it like a sauna #
# Penetrate
into your body armor #
# Rhythmically we massage ya #
# With hip-hop mixed up
with samba #
# With samba
So yes, yes, y'all #
# Yes, y'all, y'all #
# You know we never stop,
we never rest, y'all #
# Rest, y'all, y'all #
# We can keep it
funky fresh, y'all #
# Fresh, y'all, y'all #
# And we won't stop
until we get ya #
# Till we get y'all sayin' #
# Oaria raio #
# Oba oba oba #
# Yo, Peter Piper
picked peppers #
# But Tab rocked ryhmes #
- # On one two, three,
four, several times #
- Oh, Miss. Miss.
We have a lot
of vegetarians...
so I wanna make sure every tray
has a vegetarian item...
and a non-vegetarian item.
Got it?
And they can't touch. Okay?
And if you run out of either,
go back and refill.
Don't just circulate with one.
Got it?
And if you get the feeling
one is running out faster...
than the other,
then just load the trays...
according to that ratio.
You got it?
Okay, what else?
- Hey!
- Um... Ooh!
It's your wedding day. Relax.
Hey.
I find a little stress
goes a long way.
If I worry now, then
I can relax during the ceremony.
You're not gonna relax
during the ceremony.
You're right.
You should, though.
It's gonna be perfect.
It's really coming together,
isn't it?
You know,
I think we should probab...
What in the heck?
Well, hello, little lady.
What can I do for you?
What the hell is this?
Why, it's the angel...
just like your ordered.
No, but she doesn't have wings.
Yeah. So?
So angels have wings.
This is just a lady.
No. No, no, no.
It's... It's an angel.
See, beautiful,
all-knowing smile...
eyes that have seen
a thousand eternities... angel.
Chloe, do angels have wings?
Sometimes?
Always!
That's the difference between
a person and an angel: wings.
Why do angels
have to have wings?
So they can fly.
No, but angels are magical.
They don't need wings to fly.
What, does God have wings?
Okay, I'm not gonna stand here
and debate theology with you.
So just take it back
and bring me one with wings.
All right, no.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, little miss.
This is a ice sculpture.
I sculpted it out of ice,
then it melts...
and I don't have a lot of them
just lyin' around.
So sculpt some wings
and stick them on. I don't care.
This isn't what I ordered,
and I'm not accepting it.
- Yeah. But I...
- Tut-tut-tut, take it back.
I made an angel.
Oh, yoo-hoo.
Oh, not done with you.
Not so fast.
Um, did you get
the appetizers down?
Do I need
to go through it again?
No.
Are you nodding to signal yes,
or is your neck broken?
Oh, yes, appetizers. Yes.
Dinner.
I want this on a schedule.
So I want you to get
the salads down...
even if the people aren't...
My gardenias!
Your what?
- Stop! You're gonna run over...
- Doesn't seem to be a reason...
- my gardenias!
- why we didn't do that.
You idiot! Stop your truck!
I'm just doing what
I'm supposed to be doing. I...
- Stop the truck!
- Huh?
Stop!
- What are you talkin' about?
- Stop the truck!
- Stop!
- Oh!
Huh?
Who the hell are you?
Kate, I know this must be...
That idiot with the truck!
I'm gonna kill him.
I'm gonna sue him,
and then I'm gonna kill him!
What time is it?
That's not really important
right now.
Don't tell me what's important.
I'm getting married today.
No, you're not.
How long
have I been unconscious?
- What kind of hospital is this?
- Will you please stop...
interrupting and just listen.
Look, my insurance pays
your salary...
so if I want some information,
just do me the courtesy...
Will you shut up? You're dead!
Is that some kind of sick joke?
Look around you.
There are no walls.
Hello?
Where do you think you are?
Okay, you were crushed to death.
I'm sorry. I lost my cool.
I don't usually do that.
I'm dead?
I'm sorry.
Now, we don't have much time.
- Is this heaven?
- Not exactly.
- Hell?
- No. Just listen, please.
There are some important things
for you to know.
Well, who are you?
I'm an angel.
Who put you up to this?
Put me up to what?
For the last damn time,
angels have wings.
Wings!
Oh, my God, you're disappearing.
That's not good. I'm sorry.
You were saying something
about important information?
Wait! Don't go!
Hello?
Hello?!
Crap!
It's coming in clearer now.
Definitely, coming in clearer.
A boat.
He left the money on your boat.
We didn't have a boat.
No boat?
Hold on.
I'm getting something.
- You're sure you didn't have a boat?
- No boat.
Maybe he had a boat
that you didn't know about.
He was afraid of the water.
A boot?
Probably not?
Let me see
if something else comes in.
Do you hear that, too?
Yeah, I do.
Is it from beyond?
Is that a message?
No. I think it's my smoke alarm.
Can you excuse me a second,
Mary?
Oh, God! Oh, no!
Oh, no!
What, what, what?
- What is it?
- Uh, no, everything's fine.
No, no, no.
It's under control.
- It's just a little, uh...
- What is that?
Just a little smoky, that's all.
Oh, God. Move.
It's the thing in that
silver pan that burned.
The osso bucco.
I-I-I don't know.
Does the name matter?
It's on fire.
God, Dan,
you're like the worst cook ever.
- Sorry. Sorry.
- Get the crab
What are you...
Can you...
I'm just... It's smoking.
Can you...
Well, how's the crab dip going?
Crab dip is going great.
Oh, no, no.
The crab dip is going
spectacularly well.
That's the thing
in the little red bowl, right?
Yes. Can you just
chop something, please?
Chopping, chopping.
Oh, God, Dan.
You know, as much as
I love you hovering around...
and watching me while I work,
how's the reading going?
- Oh, the reading. The reading.
- Okay.
I'm back.
Listen, I gotta run.
Oh, really?
Sorry about that, Mary.
- I just...
- Oh, no. You did good.
- Really?
- Absolutely.
Maybe we have a boat
I forgot about.
- Yeah. I mean, you know...
- Yeah.
And remember, no...
- driving on Mondays.
- Driving on Mondays.
Right? Be careful.
Bye.
Okay, Dan.
Why aren't you chopping?
Hmm? Oh, small cut.
- What?
- It's fine. It's tiny. It's all good.
- Really?
- Yeah. And most of the blood...
went into the tomato sauce,
so who's gonna know?
Dan, look, I'm sorry
for leaving you alone.
It's so unfair.
You have my complete,
undivided attention now, okay?
Stir the barnaise sauce
before it separates, all right?
You got it. Oh, barnaise...
No, actually,
I know what that one is.
- Good.
- Yeah, we're good. We're good.
Damn it.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I'm Chloe.
I'm a friend of Beth's.
She gave me your address
and told me to stop by.
- Yeah. Hi.
- Hi. How are you?
Beth. God, how is she?
Ah, you know,
still with the drummer.
You are kidding me.
That guy is a mess.
I thought they totally broke up.
Which time? I think, it's
been like five times already.
Do you know that girl Colleen,
who he used to date?
- Do you know Colleen?
- Yeah.
- Have we met before?
- You look really familiar.
That's so weird, 'cause
when you opened the door...
- I was like, "I think I know that girl."
- Yeah.
That's so funny.
Oh, man.
Uh... sorry.
This is my brother, Henry.
Hi.
He needs your help.
I don't know about that.
You promised.
Well, come on in.
Wow. God, Beth.
Haven't heard her name...
long time.
Um, how can I help you?
I don't know if you can.
Henry's fiance passed away
about a year ago...
on their wedding day.
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
Thank you.
I hope you don't mind me asking,
but how, um...
How did it happen?
She was crushed by an angel...
and as sad as I am,
I do appreciate the irony.
And, well, he's just...
He's not moving on.
I don't think that's so unusual.
You've changed.
You don't smile.
You don't leave your apartment.
I like my apartment.
Nobody hassles me
if I don't smile there.
He's not letting go,
and I was just thinking...
that maybe if he communicated
with his fiance, Kate...
that, um, maybe she would,
you know...
convince him that it's okay
for him to move on in his life.
Is that what you want?
That's what she wants.
And once she gets an idea
in her head...
it's best to just...
I'm here, so, you know.
Okay. All right.
Well, let's give it a shot.
Um, how do you get
into all of this?
Oh, what?
You mean, like being a psychic?
Yeah.
Why? You think it's crap?
No. I keep an open mind.
I mean, there are plenty
of things people can't explain.
You can be honest.
Not crap, just unproven...
after hundreds of years
and thousands of studies.
But you're keeping an open mind.
Isn't it obvious?
Well, what do you do
for a living?
- I'm a vet.
- So a man of science?
I suppose I am.
Do you believe in heaven?
Jury's out.
Wow.
See, that's just...
That's depressing to me.
I mean, what a sad and
hopeless world it would be...
if that was the case.
I really believe that the people
we love never really leave us.
You know, they're...
They're always watchin' over us.
And then, sometimes,
if we're lucky...
we get to talk to them.
So have you had
a lot of luck with this?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
I know that's
not very scientific...
but when it works...
it really does
make people happy.
You wanna give it a go?
Okay. Give me your hands.
Does this cost extra?
Do you always use humor to cope
with uncomfortable situations?
That reminds of this time
two rabbis walked into a bar.
All right.
Come on, give me your hands.
Now, just think about the person
you're trying to contact.
I am getting something, um,
but it's...
But it's a man.
He's in a, like, a blue suit
or, um, like a uniform.
My father wore blue suits.
He was a lawyer.
Are you trying to contact him?
No. He's still alive.
- Retired.
- Oh.
At least,
I think he's still alive.
I haven't spoken with him
since last night.
Maybe something happened
this morning.
All right. Look, I get it.
You don't believe in this stuff,
and you probably think...
I'm some loon
who's just wasting your time.
But you know what?
You're here, so why not?
All I'm asking for is five
minutes for you to humor me.
You're right. I'm sorry.
Okay.
Just relax. Give it a go.
Okay. Just think about Kate.
Picture her in your mind:
the way she made you feel...
the way she looked.
Think about Kate.
- Oh, God.
- That didn't sound good.
My assistant. Probably
just shish-kebabbed his tongue.
Oh, God!
Whoa! Oh!
Holy shit!
Um, you know,
I-I should get going.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- I wanna check on my dad.
- Oh.
What do I owe you?
Oh, nothing. Nothing.
Oh, no. But I...
I mean...
No, no, no. I-I didn't...
I didn't get anything, so...
Yeah, but you tried.
If someone's pet dies
on the operating table...
you don't charge them, right?
I mean...
No. No, that...
That would make me a dick.
Right.
It's a good thing you don't.
Right. Yes, okay.
If I ever need any catering,
I'll know where to come.
I work cheap, so...
I can see you
why you have two jobs.
- Yeah.
- Nice meeting you, Ashley.
Oh. Nice to meet you.
Say, "Pretty. Pretty bird."
Come on, say it.
You know, I gave you a key
in case of emergencies.
I think you and I just have...
a different definition
of "emergency."
So, how'd it go with Ashley?
Oh, that. Much to my surprise,
it was futile.
You didn't try.
I totally tried.
I chanted, you know, I played
with an eagle feather...
listened to some Tori Amos.
And nothing?
I mean, she's really nice,
but, I mean...
the whole thing
was kind of a joke.
Well, does she want you
to come back?
Chloe, enough, all right?
Right. You know what?
I'm never gonna help you again.
Is that a promise?
Well, unless it's an emergency.
Hey, you never told me
how it went on Friday.
Oh, what,
with the stockbroker?
What is it about telling a guy
that you're a psychic...
that makes him think
that you'll sleep with him...
on the first date?
Well, maybe they think that,
because you're a psychic...
you already know
that's all they're after...
so they might
as well just go for it.
That is so your gay prejudice
towards straight men talking.
No, no, it's all men.
Gay, straight, we're a real
goal-oriented gender...
when it comes to sex.
Dan, I think they're a little
more complicated than that.
No, we're not.
How's my ass look in this?
I don't know.
Can you get a little closer?
I still have
some peripheral vision left.
# Hey now now,
we're goin' down down #
# And we ride the bus there #
# Pay the bus fare #
# Or we find a new reason #
# A new way of livin' #
# And we shout it out,
and try to... #
Good God, what the hell is that?
Oh, Dr. Mills,
you know this is Beatrice.
Lona, there are other ways
you can show your love...
for Beatrice
besides giving her food.
Take her for a walk,
throw her a Frisbee.
She's gained a little weight,
I know.
I've driven cars
smaller than her.
She looks like a tick.
The prettiest tick
you've ever seen.
Well, let me grab
a couple of Sherpas.
They can help me hoist her
on the table.
Hey, guys, Beatrice is here.
Aw! I call head.
No, I'm not taking the ass
two times in a row.
- Shoot you for it.
- And you...
quit messin' with
whatever you're messing with.
I'm not messing with anything.
I make such a cute doctor.
I should've stayed in college.
These aren't toys.
Oh, hey, just curious...
do animal tranquilizers work
on people?
How'd you get those
out of my cabinet?
Here we go.
Is that it,
or can I go back to, uh...
Go ahead.
Oh, hello,
the reason why I came here.
Um, I've got somebody
I want you to meet.
- Now hoist.
- Oh, God.
Her name is Janet.
- Okay.
- Janet.
I can already tell
I won't like her.
She sounds like somebody
with a dream catcher.
So, what,
are you never gonna date again?
I'll date when the right person
comes along.
Okay, well,
what if I told you...
she's an eighteen-year-old,
hot masseuse...
with huge natural breasts,
who loves to gourmet cook...
watch sports,
perform oral sex...
and when she's not doing
any of that, she saves whales.
I guess we could have lunch.
Okay.
What if she doesn't do
any of those things?
Goodbye, Chloe.
Tell me when you wanna start
dating again, okay?
Two years, five years, what?
I had the person I was gonna
spend my life with...
and I lost her.
So you're just gonna spend
the rest of your life alone?
No, I've got you.
I've got my work.
I'm sure
you're gonna get married...
and have kids or adopt
a slew of Nigerian children...
and I'm gonna get
to be Uncle Henry.
Um...
- Man down!
- There's a man down.
All right, I've got to get...
Why would you even want these?
They're just cool.
They're so big.
I can't move my legs.
Oh!
I'm so sorry to bother you.
I was wondering if you would
maybe try again with Henry.
I mean, he really liked you...
and if
he's ever gonna believe...
that anyone is talking to Kate,
then I think it's gonna be you.
Yeah, I mean,
I think that's a great idea.
I just... I don't know
if he'll go for it.
I don't think
he would come to you...
but if you would go to him...
and you could prove
that you heard from Kate...
But I didn't.
- You could fake it.
- Oh, no, no, no.
I can't do that...
'cause I'm not like a,
you know, scam artist.
This is Kate's diary.
I, um...
I went into Henry's apartment
when he wasn't there...
you know, looking for letters
or anything...
that would have information...
that only the two of them
would know, and, I mean...
Henry doesn't even know
this exists.
Right. I just... I really...
Look, I know that you've heard
the story before...
but would you really think
about it?
Do you really think that Henry's
better off sitting alone...
in his apartment
for the rest of his life?
Do you really think
that Kate's ghost...
doesn't want him to date again?
I'm just asking you to tell
one little lie...
to salvage someone's life.
Is that so impossible?
Hey. Ashley, right?
- Yeah.
- Henry.
Henry. Hi.
- How are you?
- Yeah, good, good.
You shop here?
Yeah, they, uh... They have
really great tomatoes here...
so I just...
Oh, I see. Okay.
Uh, tomatoes are vegetables
that you buy fresh...
and then you cook them in food.
I've heard about these, yeah.
I always wondered what was
on this side of the store.
- So colorful.
- Yeah.
How's business?
Oh, you know, sucks.
- So it's looking up.
- Look up, right.
Well, you know,
I'll let you go...
but, uh, if you're
ever in the area...
you should stop by,
and I'll cook you a...
I'll cook you a real meal.
All right.
Well, maybe I'll do that.
- Okay.
- Nice seeing you.
Nice seeing you.
It was raining.
It was raining
when you met her...
the woman you were trying
to contact.
It was nighttime,
and it was raining.
You tried to steal her cab?
Yeah.
And you two...
You two got into a fight...
but you rode with her
all the way home...
even though you lived
in totally opposite directions.
That's exactly what happened.
And she stiffed me.
I wound up paying eighty bucks
for that cab ride.
Do you wanna go somewhere else,
so we can talk?
Yeah, it's...
Yeah.
So I noticed you didn't have
any animals in your apartment.
Oh, well, my building
doesn't allow pets...
but I always grew up with cats.
Oh.
When I get a new a place,
I think I might...
Wait. Why'd you go, "Oh"?
"Oh, you had cats.
That's nice."
No, that was more like,
"Ah, you had cats. Figures."
I'm a vet. I love cats.
Right.
And the women who have them?
They're insane,
across the board.
You know, they wear,
like, sweatshirts...
- with their cat on them.
- Oh.
You know, "Hang in there."
Hey, look,
let me ask you, when...
In the market,
were you, like...
Were you hearing someone?
Um, yeah, I mean, I think...
I think so.
I think it was Kate.
Seems a little hard to believe.
I know,
but do you wanna try again?
What do you got to lose?
All right.
Let me just get
your hand, like... Okay.
This restaurant
reminds her of something.
New York. It was snowing.
We went...
We went there for Christmas.
You refused to admit
that you didn't speak French...
so you ordered the pancreas?
And then, later,
after you threw up all...
Hello. No, yeah.
No, no, no,
I'm just eating right now.
You're not interrupting
anything.
Are you serious?
Just so you know,
that wasn't me.
- That was J.W. I swear.
- Wow.
What else?
Are you getting anything else?
- Okay, listen, we'll come over tonight...
- Yeah, I'm just, I gotta...
I gotta get back into it.
- Okay?
- and we can meet afterwards.
Great.
Look, bro, when I see four girls
in matching bowling shirts...
that's how I roll, man.
It's totally true.
Sorry, I'm,
like, totally thrown...
No, it was great.
- with the cell phone guy, um...
- I don't know where to begin.
- We should just try another time.
- We started out with a donkey.
Yeah,
I have to get going anyway.
What are the odds there was...
- two chicks named Darla?
- Oh. When'd you give her your card?
That's all right. You got
your tricks, I've got mine.
- Wow.
- Seriously?
Yeah, but you don't really have
to be tricky...
if you wanna pay for lunch,
because I won't fight ya.
Yup. Cat person.
I thought it was the one
without her.
Thank you.
I was actually really nervous
at first...
but then it was so easy.
I almost wanted it
to be harder...
so I wouldn't feel bad
about the situation.
- What?
- Ashley.
- No.
- Look in my eyes.
- No.
- It's time for a reality check.
I don't want a reality check.
You don't want one,
because you know you need one.
Tell me you are done with this.
I'm done...
right after this next meeting.
Why are you doing all this?
I'm... I'm helping someone.
Is he cute?
I don't see what that has to do
with anything.
Stay with me here.
You, ahem...
You hate doing this.
Yeah, it goes against
everything I believe.
All right,
but instead of just doing it
and getting it over with,
you're stretching it out.
Well, he's very skeptical.
I can't just blurt it out,
or else he'd never believe me.
Today, you had lunch.
Tomorrow, who knows, dinner?
Maybe you'll go to a movie...
channel his fiance there.
- So off base.
- What does he do?
- Veterinarian.
- A doctor.
If you weren't gay,
I'd think you're jealous.
If you weren't blushing...
I'd think you were telling
the truth.
So you like
David Foster Wallace, huh?
I couldn't get past page 20.
I keep it there
because it makes me look smart.
Oh. Huh.
Oh, God, is he, like, a friend
of yours or something?
You got me a gift?
Well, you won't charge me,
and I'm taking up your time...
so, you know,
I had to do something.
David Foster Wallace!
I love him.
I saw the book last time,
so I figured you were a fan.
I am. I am.
I can't wait to not read this.
Yeah, they're short stories...
so you could read
the first paragraph...
of each one and then just quit.
That's... That's great.
No, this is, um...
This was really sweet of you.
Thank you.
Should we get started?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Oh, before we start, I've been
doing a little research.
Okay.
Some of the things you've said
are pretty unbelievable...
and I think I know
how you're doing it.
Really?
Normally, in these readings...
the person that's getting read
gives out unconscious signals.
Like you could
suggest something...
and then I'll
shake my head no or nod...
and I don't even realize it,
but you pick up on it...
and then you get closer
and closer...
until you actually get
something.
All right,
well, that makes sense.
How do you...
How do you wanna deal with that?
Well, I'm gonna concentrate
really hard...
on not giving you anything.
I mean,
keep my body very still...
not change my voice. Nothin'.
Okay. Sounds good.
Uh, let's start.
Okay.
You're gonna talk like that
the whole time?
Yes.
You know what?
I'm still picking up a slight
bit of emotion from you...
so what I think
we should do...
is turn our chairs back to back
so I can't see you at all.
- Okay.
- Okay?
- Better?
- Yes.
You know what?
To be safe, I think we should be
in separate rooms.
Oh, but then
I'm gonna have to shout.
Yeah, all right. Now you're
just messing with me, right?
Yes.
That's pretty stupid, huh?
Yes.
You wanna
go get something to eat?
Yes.
So, you bring
all your psychics here?
Well, you really should know
the answer to that.
But this is a cool place
that you picked...
I'll give you that.
Kate showed it to me.
You know,
I'm getting the feeling...
like she wants you
to be happy again...
like when you used to come here.
I'm getting that feeling, too.
You are so screwed.
- What?
- I didn't say anything.
Oh. Right.
Traitors.
Lying, cheating,
red-headed hussy.
I'll wring her neck.
Throw her in front of a car,
throw her down some stairs.
# She had blonde hair,
blue eyes, too #
# And she had
a little itty-bitty #
# Hootchie-cootchie-coo #
You. You bastard.
Whoa. Hey, evening, Miss.
You can hear me?
Unfortunately.
Are you psychic?
No, dead.
Good. What happened?
Drunk driving accident.
Oh, so backing over me
with your truck wasn't enough...
to get you to stop
drinking and driving?
I'm not proud.
What are you doing here?
Same as you.
Takin' care
of unfinished business.
Are you sure
that's why you're here?
That's what the lady told me.
- The lady in the white room?
- 'Course.
Why, what'd she tell you?
None of your business.
Did she give you any hints?
How... How specific was she?
Ah, you didn't talk to her,
did you?
What'd you do, piss her off?
Unfinished business.
Well, that's it.
I got to protect Henry.
Yeah.
Wh... Hey, hey!
You're welcome.
Hey. Can I help you?
Hi. Um, I'm sorry.
I called, and no one answered.
Um, my friend gave me
your number in yoga class.
Well, I'm just having
a really bad day.
My... My friend died,
and we had a fight.
Oh, okay, okay.
Sure, sure, sure, come in.
Come in. It's fine.
Thank you.
Okay. Come right this way.
I'm sorry,
I didn't catch your name.
Oh, it's Kay... eleen.
- Kayleen?
- Mm-hmm.
Great.
Um, why don't you come this way.
Uh, just have a seat.
Do you want a drink or anything?
No, I'm fine.
Okay, great.
Make yourself comfortable.
Okay.
So, you talk to dead people?
Well, I can't promise results...
but, yes,
I have had some success.
Comes in nice and clear, huh?
No mistaking it?
Sometimes, yeah.
Great. Can't wait.
All right, so the first thing
I'm gonna have you do...
is give me your hands.
Uh, you...
Uh, we probably shouldn't...
because I'm, uh,
coming down with a cold.
Okay. Um, great.
Okay, this is what
we'll do then.
Um, why don't you concentrate
on your friend, okay?
And let's try to see
if she can come through to us.
- You're the psychic.
- Great.
Yeah, wow,
I'm getting something.
Ashley Clark, you have made
a mockery of the gifts...
you've been given.
Uh, Kayleen?
You speak falsely for the dead.
We have been sent here
to give you a warning.
Stop now or suffer
a terrible fate.
Is this some sort of joke?
This is no joke.
We see and hear everything.
We saw you drop the tray
of meatballs last night...
and still serve them.
We saw what you did
in the shower last night...
and it's nothing
to be ashamed of...
but we still saw.
And we see
what you're trying to do...
to Henry Mills.
I... I'm just...
You, of all people...
should know the consequences
of defaming the dead.
Leave Henry Mills alone...
or you will never
find peace again.
You will lose your possessions,
your friends...
and eventually your life.
This is the only time
we will visit you.
Oh, I must've dozed off.
Did you contact my friend?
Ashley, are you okay?
Please go.
Well, you look
like you've seen a ghost.
Can you go now, please?
Just go.
You'll never guess
who I ran into.
- Who?
- Ashley.
Ashley...
I know so many Ashleys.
The psychic.
Oh, that Ashley.
- What did she say?
- Well, it was really weird.
I mean, she got these images,
really specific stuff.
Really? Wow.
Will she get a message
from Kate?
- Like what?
- Huh?
- What?
- What?
Anyway, we're, you know,
gonna try it again.
That's great.
That's... I really...
I feel like
she can help you, Henry.
Come on, Ashley!
Ashley, come on!
She's not home?
Uh, why?
Are you here to meet her?
No, we had, um, an appointment.
Wait a second.
Are you Henry...
the-the veterinarian?
She mentioned me?
No, it's just
a really lucky guess.
I'm good like that.
I'm Dan, the catering partner.
- Right. Hi, Dan.
- Hi.
Yeah, we were supposed to meet
an hour and a half ago...
at this restaurant, but
she's not answering her phone.
I know.
I've been calling her all day.
Do you mind if I try?
Knocking?
Please. No, please.
Help yourself.
Maybe later you can come
jab an elevator button...
a hundred times
after I've already pushed it.
Ashley!
Ashley, it's Henry.
Are you there?
Henry, I'm sick!
I tried to call.
I might be sick
for a really long time.
Okay, do you need anything?
No. I'll call you
if I ever feel better.
Ashley?
Ashley!
Got more than you did.
Hey, it's Ashley,
psychic-slash-caterer...
leave an awesome message.
Good morning. It's Henry.
Just thought I'd check in
since you didn't...
# This little light of mine #
sound so good last night,
see if you're all right.
- So, um, you all right?
- # I'm gonna let it shine #
Morning again.
It's, uh, Henry again.
That's some cold.
I hope you didn't get it...
when we went out
the other night.
Anyway, I was gonna...
you know, come by and drop off
some soup or something...
so, um, maybe I'll see you.
# Shine, let it shine #
# Even if it burns your eyes #
# This light of mine is mine #
- # And I'm gonna let it shine #
- It's Henry.
The sandwich was gone, so,
you know, that's a good sign.
Buying a sandwich for someone...
you've never
had a sandwich with...
is a lot harder than you think.
I mean, just the bread.
I started off
with whole wheat...
but then I worried that,
you know, I'm saying...
you're kind
of a crunchy person...
who only eats whole wheat.
I almost went with pumpernickel,
but then I'd look like...
the kind of guy
who wants to impose...
my weird bread fetish
on everyone and...
You know, now, I'm one of those
idiots who just prattles on...
in, uh, answering machines...
and also uses a word
like "prattles."
So the only thing I can think of
is that, uh, you really just...
you don't
wanna talk to me anymore.
Um, if that's right,
well, um...
I don't know, I guess just...
kinda keep doin'
what you're doin'.
- # Shine, let it shine #
- So, take care of yourself...
- # Even if it burns your eyes #
- Ashley.
# This light of mine is mine #
# And I'm gonna let it shine #
There you are.
Why have you been avoiding
my brother?
Uh, I can explain.
Um...
I guess I can't explain.
Okay,
if you didn't wanna do this...
you should've just said so...
but to lead him on
and let him think...
that you can help him
and then just disappear?
I mean, he's worse off,
if that's possible.
I just couldn't do it anymore,
all right?
I'm sorry.
Please tell him I'm sorry.
Did you run out of things
to say?
- No, it's not that. It's not that.
- Because I have...
- It's not...
- more information.
I have letters
and some pictures and...
- Is that her?
- Yeah, that's Kate.
Oh, God!
Wait, what do...
What does that mean?
Do... Do you want the letters?
All right, show's over.
Come out. I know who you are...
Kate.
- Boo.
- God.
God, it's really you.
This is unbelievable.
- Are you really like a...
- Ghost?
It's the only way
I can explain it.
That is awesome.
Here, catch.
Nice throw.
Crap.
Hey, what was that
the other day, man?
I was just trying to help out
the situation.
Help?
You were helping yourself
to Henry.
Okay, so, like, I'm like...
I'm like
slightly attracted to him.
Well, he's not right for you.
Yes, he is.
He is considerate, and
he is sweet, and, you know...
pulls the chair out for me
when I sit.
Big deal.
It is a big deal,
and you know it, okay?
He's been wonderful to me
from the second he met me...
even though he probably thought
I was a little crazy.
Well, you do
talk to dead people.
That's a little crazy.
Oh, I'm crazy?
You're the one who's spying
on me in the frickin' shower.
You're right.
I'm sorry about that.
You know what, girl to girl,
you're gettin' a little hippy.
You might wanna cut back
on the pasta.
All right, what do you want?
I'm serious. Why are you here?
Look, we got off
on the wrong foot...
and that's partly my fault...
with the threats
from beyond and all.
- Yeah.
- But here's the thing.
I was sent back to earth
to protect Henry.
Really? How do you know that?
Because when you die,
you go to this white room...
and there's a woman who may
or may not be an angel...
and she says that, you know,
just, you know...
stuff, and I just know.
So, like, I have to like
stay away from Henry now?
Oh, that would be so great.
Thank you.
Wait a second.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
But you're dead.
I still don't want you
to see him.
Yeah, I know,
but for argument's sake...
I mean,
if I wanted to see him...
there's not a whole hell
of a lot you could do about it.
Really?
Then why have you been hiding
in your bedroom for a week?
Well, I'm done hiding.
Let's not let this get ugly.
I think it already has.
You have no idea.
Ashley?
Hi, Henry.
Oh, sorry.
"Dr. Mills."
Oh, hey, you're alive.
Yeah, thanks to you.
You're a real lifesaver.
Know... You know,
the food that you left me...
was the only thing
that kept me going.
Oh, you got that. Good.
I left a couple
of messages, but...
I know. I'm so sorry.
I, um...
I just... I felt so ill
that I couldn't talk to anyone.
But the minute I felt better...
I wanted to come down here
and thank you in person.
I hope you're not mad at me.
No, not at all. I...
I'm sorry that I called
and bothered you.
I mean, you said that you'd call
when you felt better...
and here you are.
Do you wanna go out tonight?
Yeah. All right. I'd love to.
Okay, great.
Oh, great. Oh, great.
I'll let you get back
to saving animals' lives...
and everything.
Okay.
And what seems to be
the trouble with Margaret?
Itchy ass.
Excellent.
Oh!
Oh, God!
Ashley, hello.
What was that crash?
I heard a crash.
- Ashley, hello.
- Shit.
What is going on?
Is there someone there?
Is someone at your place?
- Hello.
- You know what...
- Hello!
- I'm callin' the police.
I'm giving you ten seconds
to pick up.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one.
Dan. Sorry.
The phone scared me,
so I killed it.
What's going on?
Where have you been?
- Why haven't you talked to me?
- It's a long story.
I've got time.
I... I can't talk right now.
Why don't you
come over tomorrow...
we'll work on the Spencer party.
I got to go.
Where are you off to?
The gym. Okay?
I got to go. Bye.
- Oh, wait, Dan!
- Yeah?
Would you say I'm hippy?
# Goddess on the mountain top #
# Burning like a silver flame #
# The summit
of beauty and love #
# And Venus was her name #
# Whoa #
There's a gas leak
in the building.
Everyone get out now.
This is an emergency.
It'll be fine
if we just don't freak out!
It's all right! It's okay!
We'll be right
if we just stay cool!
Just stay cool, guys!
Just don't light a match!
What... Everyone out!
Oh, no.
- Miss?
- The...
It was just the P.A.
Was there an announcement
on the P. A?
What P. A?
Stairmaster's open,
you know, for your... Mm-hmm.
Miss.
Yeah. I was just...
Well, look at me, hmm?
Naked in there, okay.
Just kidding.
Sorry about that, you guys.
I'm crazy.
So, do you have any idea
where you wanna eat?
Um, no.
I mean, if you have a place...
some place in mind or...
No, it's your treat,
so, you know...
I'm gonna let you choose.
Oh, well, in that case, I just...
I know just the place, actually.
No, I was... I was kidding.
Do you wanna get some seafood?
Oh, no, no, big talker...
you're now gonna eat
a hot dog out of a cart.
- Hey.
- Sor... Oh, sorry.
Uh, one Italian sausage.
- Thank you.
- No, make it two.
If you're sure you wouldn't
rather have seafood.
No, we're...
No, we're fine with the two.
Two Italian sausage.
Thank you.
Are you going to treat me
to a funnel cake, too?
Only if you're a good boy.
Watch out for that.
Stop it, please.
It's really not funny.
No, you're right.
That's horrible.
Stop, 'cause if you wanna play,
I'll play that game.
You wanna play that game?
Oh, my God! Oh!
Ohh!
Oh.
Let me just...
You got a little somethin', uh...
I can't believe
you're not embarrassed...
to be seen with me right now.
Oh, God, no, no, I totally am.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
If I run into anybody
that I know...
I'm gonna pretend
you're a German tourist.
I don't wanna be associated
with you.
Do you know any German?
Uh... Ich machen dachen
zeit yachen...
tick wagen
fahr Fig Newton...
in BMW en zag.
It's kinda like
a Swedish German.
- Yeah.
- Nice.
- It's not. Yeah.
- It's good.
Yes, no, I think the bathrooms
are over there...
German lady,
who's from also Sweden...
that I don't even know.
Hey, I feel kind of weird
bringing this up...
but have you thought
about Kate lately?
Um, yeah, not really.
I mean, you know
how I feel about all that...
but you said
some pretty amazing things.
Can I ask you a question?
Sure.
Um, there's no right
or wrong answer to this...
so you can just be honest,
but, um, are we...
Are we out to talk about Kate...
or-or are we,
you know, just out?
Because, either way
is totally fine with me.
I just... If it's both...
then it probably gets, like,
a little complicated for me.
Yeah, I was kind of wondering
the same thing, actually.
I mean, are we out
because I'm your client...
or are we out?
Oh, great, I'm your client.
That sucks.
I had a good time.
Me, too.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Okay, you don't have to.
No, I want to.
Okay. Okay, me, too.
Okay.
Bye.
Forgetting something?
Was I somehow unclear
about what I wanted you to do?
Oh, were you expecting Henry?
I was hoping.
He's quite a kisser.
You're really gonna
throw that in my face?
Isn't that tactic
a little beneath you?
You're one to talk!
I had to show a room
full of guys my naked breasts...
because of you!
That's a nice gesture,
but unnecessary, dear.
Oh, I was... Um...
Good night.
Bingo, come on.
That dog just sniffed you.
God, I think
the animals can see you.
That is so cool.
That's great.
Wonder how I can use that
against you?
Hey, I showed it to you.
Yeah, that was dumb.
I don't understand.
If you weren't sick,
then what was the problem?
I can't get into it...
because you're
gonna think I'm crazy.
No, no, no. I'll hide it.
I promise, I'll look at you
really sincerely and say...
"I understand."
- Okay. Fine.
- Good.
You remember Henry, right?
Yeah, yeah.
The guy with the wife...
that was the crushed
by the angel.
Right. I saw her.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Uh, now,
when you say, uh, you saw her...
you mean you saw...
- Her ghost, yes.
- Mm.
Yeah, she's been hassling me.
I understand.
No, Dan, this is not a joke.
Look, I've heard voices
before and stuff like that...
but I've actually seen her.
Do you see her right now?
No, I only see her
when she wants me to see her...
I think. I don't know.
You know what?
Never mind. I'm kidding.
I seriously was kidding.
I totally made that up.
Let's cook. I bought salmon.
You... You really believe this,
don't you?
It's really happening.
And it's only you.
No one else can see or hear her?
Yeah. I don't know why I'm
the only one who can see her.
Maybe because I'm after the guy
she was supposed to marry.
Maybe that's sufficient
motivation for her...
to come back from the dead.
I don't know.
I note that
during your little rant...
defending your sanity,
you admit you're after him.
Well, yeah, I mean,
we're like...
We're like... We're
sort of dating or whatever.
Ashley.
No, I don't want
a reality check.
This is what happens
when you lie...
about talking
to a man's dead fiance.
I've seen it a thousand times.
No, because I'm not lying, okay?
I can actually talk to her.
That's different.
Okay, I was lying before...
because I actually
couldn't talk to her.
And also, admittedly...
I lied to you
about being interested in him.
So I am sorry about that.
Yeah, listen,
while you work that out...
maybe this can bubble
into your subconscious.
Run away!
I mean, you have dated guys
with every problem there is...
but this one, apparently,
has a ghost?
Yeah, but it's not his fault
his fiance's haunting me.
Mm.
Look, it's impossible
to find a great guy...
and I'm not gonna
let a little thing...
like a ghost stop me, okay?
I'm not gonna let her win.
You mean her ghost?
- Right.
- I understand.
I'm going to the market.
Bone the fish.
Are you all right?
Why are you screaming?
No, I wasn't.
I was... I was singing.
Thanks.
Father Marks?
Ashley.
That's me.
I haven't seen you in,
what's it been, ten years?
I've been
to a few Christmas services.
Well, next Christmas, why don't
you come up and say hello?
Absolutely.
I will put that in my calendar.
December the 25th.
Got it.
Well, you didn't come here...
so I could make you squirm
about your attendance.
Now that you mention it.
Um... Father, um, I've... I've...
I've had an encounter...
encounters with a ghost.
Well, you musn't be
completely surprised...
that this is happening to you.
I mean, if you dabble
with the occult...
you're bound to get
these kind of incidents.
- I know.
- Well, all right.
You're not here
to get a lecture from me.
So why did you come here?
I want you to get rid of her.
Do you see the ghost now?
No.
And this room is where
you've seen her the most?
Definitely.
This is definitely the room...
where I see her most.
So, uh, is there a script
for this sort of thing?
For exorcism? Oh sure, sure.
No, when you're
casting out spirits...
the Church doesn't really
like us to wing it.
Right. Of course.
- Shall we?
- Yes.
Yes.
"I address thee, spirit,
in the name of the Father...
"and of the Son
and of the Holy Spirit.
"Come out
and leave this servant of God."
You don't really believe
this is gonna work.
I see her. She's right there.
"It is time
for your soul to pass on.
"Hear the command
of God himself...
"who did
walk upon the sea...
"and extend his right hand
to Peter."
You really don't believe
in all this hocus-pocus, do you?
"In the name of God, the
Almighty Father...
- "that thou depart..."
- Oh, that's not good.
It's working. It's working.
Uh, okay, Ashley, listen.
I've been reconsidering,
and I think we can come...
- to some sort of understanding.
- "Let the Holy Spirit...
"dwell therein."
Okay, uh, s-s-some of the...
some of the things I did,
a little out of hand...
and I'd like to take
this opportunity to apologize.
You know, the whole naked
in the gym thing, not cool.
I get it now.
- What's happening?
- "Therefore, restless spirit...
Oh, make it stop!
"acknowledge
that your time has ended."
Please, I don't wanna go.
I don't wanna go!
She's gone.
Yeah.
You did it.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
I'm... I'm... I'm sure.
She was right there...
and then she vanished.
Well, bugger me.
Good.
- Good.
- Very good.
So, you're, uh, finished
with your psychic work?
Oh, yeah. I mean, it's over.
And we'll see you in church
on a regular basis?
We didn't agree to that
before we started.
Oh, I'll bring her back.
It's a deal. It's a deal.
I promise.
Okay. No more of these games.
- I know. I'm sorry.
- Take care of yourself...
- Ashley Clark.
- Bye-bye.
He sounded so serious.
No! No!
Did you like
that disappearing thing?
I just made that up.
I didn't even know
I could do that before now.
Okay, time to get to work.
Tonight, instead of sleeping,
I thought I'd tell you...
all the stories
of all the pets I've ever owned.
- Oh, people love pet stories.
- Just... Just...
So, I'm gonna start
with the first pet I ever had.
It was a turtle named Ernie,
and I must've been eight.
She actually had kittens.
She had baby kittens,
and then we named them all.
And we used to call him Boots,
because he was all white...
and he had these little black...
- Boots?
- Exactly.
At least that's what we called
him until "he" had kittens.
Then we named him Mrs. Piggy.
And there were six kittens.
What were their names?
Was that you?
The doorbell?
Yeah, that was me.
Don't answer that.
I remember the kittens' names!
It was Willy, Betty, Whiskers...
Fang, Teddy, and Nugget!
And then there was Buffy,
who was my last dog.
But after he died, that was it.
God, I think that's all my pets.
You should get some sleep.
Mmm... thank you.
Good morning.
- The time is 7 A.M.
- You have a busy day in front of you...
- Good morning, everyone.
- so I thought you might like to hear...
all my favorite colors
and numbers.
- Blue, seven, seventeen...
- Good morning, everyone! Well...
Lime green, forest green,
yellow, one, blue.
Oh, crap,
did I already say blue?
You know what?
I'm gonna start over.
- Blue.
- Ow!
Oh, God!
Gettin' tired? Unable to
function?
I'm fine.
You know,
you really should think...
about what you're
getting into here.
I don't need sleep.
I can hound you
every second of every day.
You're never gonna know...
if something you hear
is real or not.
I can keep you
from sleeping and eating...
- and drinking...
- Enough!
Enough, okay?
Congratulations, you win.
I love spending time with Henry,
but it's not worth it.
Good.
Then my work here is done.
But if you ever try
to see him again...
- You'll be back.
- You can count on it.
Go.
Hey, wait, Kate.
Look, is there, um...
Is there anything
you wanna tell him?
What do you mean?
Well, Henry came to me...
because he wanted
to talk to you...
and I definitely think
I can deliver on that.
So is there anything
you wanna say to him?
Kate contacted me from beyond...
not like before, but clearer.
Clearer than anything
that I have ever experienced.
What did she say?
Hi, Henry.
She says, "Hi, Henry."
I know. Um, you know what?
Ask me questions.
Just, uh, ask me as
many questions as you'd like...
and just keep asking me
until you're convinced.
What was her favorite food?
The three berry cake
at Sweet Lady Jane's.
She says ask a tough one.
Um, what was
her first pet's name?
Ernie the turtle.
She told me that earlier today.
Her favorite Hawaiian island?
She's only been to Maui, and
she got stung by a jellyfish.
You really, uh...
What else?
She always hated this chair.
Her second toes are slightly
longer than her first.
She always meant
to take guitar lessons.
Well, I...
Why did she come here?
I mean, what does
she wanna tell me?
She says that she can tell
that you're torn...
between being faithful
to her memory...
and the feelings
that you have for me.
The hell I did!
Ow! Oh! Ah!
- What happened?
- Seed in the eye! It's okay!
Tell him the truth!
She says she just wants you
to be happy, Henry...
and she can tell
that you're happier with me.
You are screwing
with the wrong woman.
That's it. I mean,
she wants you to move on.
Oh, she's gone.
No, I'm not!
I'm right here!
I'm right here!
I'm gonna be with you
every second of every day...
for the rest of your life!
Tell her thank you.
Thank you, Kate,
wherever you are.
Are you okay?
You look at it, Doctor.
Oh!
It really hurts.
Good. I hope it blinds you.
What would I do without you?
You are so dead.
I, Andy Chris, take you,
Natalia Yeroshik...
as my best friend for life.
I pledge to honor, encourage...
- and support you...
- Oh, you know the Lerner party?
You're gonna have
to do that alone.
Where, uh...
Where are you gonna be?
Uh, I gotta... I gotta...
I gotta go away. I'm...
Some... I've got a thing.
With... With who?
Shh.
With Henry? With Henry.
This is my solemn vow.
From this moment,
I, Natalia Yeroshik...
take you, Andy Chris...
- What, Dan?
- Nothing. Nothing.
This is my solemn vow.
By the power vested in me...
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
Congratulations.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Three...
four...
five...
- six.
- Ashley.
Shh!
Okay, where was I? I was on...
- Three.
- Thank you.
For what?
Three, four, five...
six, seven, eight.
I have to say something.
Now, you know I never get
involved in your love life.
- Bullshit.
- Fine.
As someone who's always involved
in your love life...
I think you should listen to me.
You're making a huge mistake.
No, I'm not.
Help me with the cart.
Okay, it's... It's not because
his fiance's ghost...
is trying to drive you away,
and-and it's not because...
he's a client who you lie to...
but you talk about picking guys
with problems?
He just got out
of a relationship...
where his bride was killed
on their wedding day...
and you'll be the first girl
he dates.
That's a pretty serious rebound.
You really think
this is gonna end up well, huh?
Nice try. You're still handling
the Lerner party alone.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Cherries Jubilee.
Excuse me for a second.
I could feel the heat
all the way back here.
- Are you okay?
- You know, if I were dead...
I wouldn't be following around
one person, okay?
I'd be finding out
the meaning of life.
I would be talking to wise,
notable dead people.
Oh, like who?
Um, like Eleanor Roosevelt.
What would you ask her?
Like, all kinds of things.
Like what?
Um...
All right,
forget Eleanor Roosevelt.
You're the only dead person
I wanna talk to right now.
Oh, I think you burned off
a little bit of your eyebrow.
What? Where?
Right... Right there.
It's not gonna be even.
You know what? I don't care.
And you know what else?
I'm going away with Henry
this weekend...
whether you like it or not,
and I don't care what you do.
I don't care if you set me
on fire or yell and scream...
and talk about your dog
or watch me while I piss!
I don't care! So if you're
trying to make me look insane...
it's not working!
So...
who's ready for cake?
Oy.
# I'll stop the world
and melt with you #
# You've seen the difference #
# And it's getting better
all the time #
# There's nothing you and I #
- Ha! No!
- Yeah.
- # Won't do #
- Oh, my God.
- Pretty smooth.
- It is beautiful.
It's so weird
how much this place...
reminds me of my own apartment.
You know what we should do?
I saw some people
riding one of those...
like, two-person bikes.
We should totally rent
one of those.
Yeah, absolutely.
Okay, cool.
Now?
Yeah, why not?
We just got here.
Don't you want to unpack,
check out the room?
Oh, my God.
Did you think
that you could just bring me...
up here and never leave
the room?
Just put a "do not disturb" sign
on the door...
and lock ourselves
in for the weekend?
Um... yes?
Awesome.
I'll go freshen up.
Henry?
Yes?
You know I'm still
in the room, right?
Yeah.
- Okay.
- Okay.
That was gross.
Are you all right?
I'm fine!
Okay.
I should've known it was you.
You know, I never thought
farts were funny...
when I was alive,
but the look on your face.
You get out of here.
You're not having sex
with my husband.
He is not your husband.
And even if you did make it
down that aisle...
there's still that
"till death do us part" clause.
You're a ghost!
Did you say something?
Yeah. The...
There's potpourri!
Don't do it!
Oh, I'm doin' it.
Oh, my God.
It looks even better
on the floor.
Best day ever.
Wow, this is gonna be awkward.
Oh, my God!
- You okay?
- Yeah, yeah.
I just, you know,
it's just, "Oh, my God."
I'm surprised he didn't spring
for the suite.
- Hey!
- Are you sure you're okay?
- How's it going down there?
- Why? Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yoo-hoo!
It's just you're closing
your eyes very energetically.
I think you're freakin' him out.
Oh, you like to kiss with
your eyes open? That's cool.
I mean, that's kind of kinky,
but all right, all right.
- I'm cool with that.
- Being on the bottom...
not your most flattering angle.
I was talking to another ghost
the other day...
and you'll never guess
who it was.
Remember that guy you
used to date in high school...
who got killed
in a motorcycle accident?
Ted?
- What?
- What?
You said Ted.
No, I didn't.
I just... I, um...
'cause I bumped my arm.
I'm okay now.
Anyway, this is
a little embarrassing...
but he said
you were a bad kisser.
Actually, he said you were
the worst kisser ever.
"Painful and overly wet,"
was his exact quote.
He made a noise like this.
- Talk dirty to me.
- What?
Talk dirty to me.
I love it. It turns me on.
Henry doesn't like that.
Do it loud.
Um... Oh, you're a dirty girl,
aren't you?
She's a dirty little liar
is what she is.
Louder.
You're a dirty little thing.
You're a dirty girl...
- # I believe the children #
- aren't you?
- # Are our future #
- You're a dirty girl.
- Good, good. Louder though, louder.
- # Teach them well #
Like... Like you're trying to
drown out some annoying noise
# And let them lead the way #
- # Show them all #
- Like this?!
- # The beauty #
- Yeah!
- # They possess inside #
- You're a dirty little girl, aren't you?
- Louder, please!
- Aren't you a dirty little thing?!
You like the dirty stuff!
Aren't you a dirty...
That's just stupid.
I'm just yelling at you.
- Music!
- Is that annoying?
It's a little loud.
What?!
The music.
You like it this loud?
Oh, yeah, I love it.
Love this. Salsa.
Salsa makes me horny!
No, no, no, no!
Come on, just anything.
I like your hair!
Oh, God, I love it!
- It's looks really good!
- Louder!
Really?!
Sorry, sorry.
- Oh, hey.
- Hi.
- How you doin'?
- I'm good.
So, what's up?
You know that woman
you sent me to...
the, uh, psychic?
Believe me, you don't have
to whisper that...
in this neighborhood.
I mean, it's not like
I sent you to a...
Republican.
Well, She's, um... She's great.
I mean, really, I feel
a thousand times better.
Did she get a message from Kate?
Yeah, and I think that Kate
really wants me to move on.
In fact, I'm dating her.
Who?
Ashley.
Wait, so she told you
that Kate said...
that she wants you
to start dating again...
and then she went out with you?
Well, it didn't happen
exactly like that, but...
Oh, yeah,
I guess that is...
how it happened exactly, but...
Well, you got to stop.
Why?
She's a psychic.
Since when do you have
a problem with psychics?
I... You do.
You do. You hate them.
Look, Henry,
I think it's great...
that you're dating again,
but, I mean, you can't date her.
God, I thought
you'd be happy about this.
I guess, I-I should be.
I'm just... You're right.
I'm just surprised, I mean...
But I'm... I'm...
I'm coming around now.
I mean, look how happy I am now.
Chloe.
I've been meaning
to call you, actually.
What's been stopping you, huh?
Pretending to talk
to my brother's dead fiance...
so you could date him?
Come on in.
No, I'm okay.
I just...
I want Kate's diary back.
Okay. Um... yeah.
I'm not gonna tell him
that I gave this to you...
because, somehow,
he does seem better.
I know it looks bad.
How could you do this?
I mean, uh, "I can't fake it.
I'm not some scam artist."
I mean, you totally
took advantage of him.
You asked me to do this.
Use fake psychic vision
to date him?
Let me think.
No, I'd remember that.
Chloe, I really, really care
about him.
Worst part is that I did this.
I mean, I gave this to you.
I handed you everything
that you needed.
You gave what to her?
No, what...
It's okay. Don't...
What's this?
This is Kate's diary.
Yeah.
Why would you give this to her?
How'd you even get it?
The story about the pancreas
is in here...
- Um...
- and how we met.
Henry. Henry!
Henry!
You were right.
It all fell apart, you know,
'cause I'm a horrible person.
No, no, you're not
a horrible person.
Yes, I am. I am.
I'm a liar,
and I'm a horrible person.
And you know what?
I never even deserved him.
- Okay, you... You kn...
- I didn't!
No, you know what?
He's an idiot to let you go.
- No!
- All right? No.
No matter what you did,
he's an idiot to let you go...
okay?
Anyone would be lucky
to have you.
You're just saying that.
Anyone.
What the hell was that?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
You're my friend.
You're gay.
You're my gay friend.
Ah, screw it.
I'm not gay.
What?
I'm not gay!
I've never been gay.
I don't have sex with men,
and they don't have sex with me.
Wow.
So when you just kissed me
just then, you were like...
I'm in love with you.
What?!
I've been in love with you
since I met you.
Every time you turn your back
to me, I sniff your hair.
I went into business with you,
so I could be near you.
I hate cooking!
I wanna throw up
every time I cut a fish.
God, you have got to be
the worst psychic...
in the history of time.
How could you not know
any of this?
Why didn't you just,
like, tell me?
Okay, remember when we met,
and-and-and
we started, you know...
going out to lunch and dinner...
and talking on the phone
all day and all night.
I thought we were dating.
And... And then...
And then, after a week,
we went to a movie.
I was just about to kiss you,
and you turned to me...
and you said, "I love having
a gay friend to talk to.
"I could never be
this comfortable...
"with a straight man."
What was...
What was I supposed to do?
You waited a week
to make your move!
Of course,
I thought you were gay.
I was taking it slow.
Five years, one kiss?
That's not slow.
That's family.
I'm sorry.
I missed my window.
I was... I was waiting for it
to come back around again.
God, Dan, you've, like...
betrayed me.
- Betrayed you?
- Yeah.
Ashley, I love you.
You think it was easy for me
listening to you...
talk about other guys, huh?
Watching mind-numbingly
boring romantic movies...
and pretending to cry?
Going shopping with you and
giving you advice on clothes?
Do you know how much
of the last five years...
I have spent
learning about clothes?
This shirt cost me $175,
and I hate it!
I hate it!
I love that shirt.
You know, before
this whole stupid thing...
I probably spent
$100 a year on clothes.
Now? Now, I spend that much
every three weeks...
on this haircut,
which I also hate!
God.
We took bubble baths together.
Yeah.
Now can you see
how hard it was for me?
I just wanted to cry
on my gay friend.
Yup.
I'll let myself out.
Okay.
All right, I'm ready.
You don't have a cat.
I rescued a stray,
so you'd talk to me.
Come in.
So, have you thought
about a name for him yet?
No. After we're done here...
I'm taking him
back to the pound.
I'm kidding.
It's a joke,
so you start laughing now...
breaks the tension,
and then we start talking again.
Pet's a big responsibility.
Did you ever think
about maybe just running...
into me on the street?
Listen, I didn't know
that Ashley was gonna use...
the information I gave her
to start dating you.
I mean, I really thought
that she was just...
gonna tell you that Kate
wanted you to move on.
We... Do you
really have to do that?
Yeah, he needs his shots.
Yeah.
I think he's already had them.
He's my neighbor's cat.
Your neighbor let you borrow
her cat to bring to the vet?
You stole a cat?
I'm gonna bring him back.
He was on a fire escape.
It's like a walk.
Would you quit doin'
stupid stuff...
because you think you know
you're right?
Whoa. You should hear yourself.
You sound like Mom and Dad.
And your friends
and your bosses...
and your teachers and strangers
that you meet on the street.
They all tell you this
because it's true.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
See if you can get the cat home
without killing it.
I think I can handle it.
He's fine.
Hi.
I read this.
Henry, I really wanna talk
to you about all this.
- It's just...
- How did you know...
about the cake
or Hawaii or the chair?
None of that's in here...
and no one else
knows about that.
All right, um,
your sister gave me the diary...
and she asked me to pretend...
that Kate had talked to me,
which is not her fault...
because I shouldn't have done it
in the first place, okay?
But I did, because
I thought, I don't know...
I thought maybe you needed it,
you know, to help you move on.
But I must have crossed
over some sort of line...
or something, because
then, suddenly, she appeared.
- Kate.
- Yeah.
And sh... And she tried
to scare me away from you.
But I just... I really
wanted to be with you...
so I didn't let it stop me.
You pretended that
she wanted us to be together...
because you thought that
that would make me...
fall in love with you.
Yeah, I guess I did.
I, um...
I hoped that you would love me
for other reasons, too.
- Is she here now?
- No, I haven't...
I haven't actually seen her,
um, since you broke up with me.
Guess it was her job
to get rid of me...
and, well, she did that.
So, she just sort of disappears?
I don't know.
Thank you.
"There's a soul
and seal on thine arm.
- "For love is strong as death;
- # Go ahead as you waste #
- "Jealousy as cruel as the grave."
- # Your days with thinkin' #
- # When you fall, everyone stands #
- Come on, Beatrice.
# Another day, and you've
had your fill of sinkin' #
# With the life held
in your... #
# When all you gotta keep
is strong #
# Move along, move along #
# Like I know you do #
# When everything is wrong #
- # We move along #
- Come on.
- Okay. Good night, Bill.
- # When all you gotta keep #
- Oh, you're a vet.
- # Is strong #
# Move along, move along #
You know, I've always
wondered which is smarter...
- cats or dogs.
- # Like I know you do #
Come in for some coffee?
# When all you gotta #
- # Keep is strong #
- Why... I really have to get up early...
- # Move along, move along #
- but if you insist...
- # Like I know you do #
- maybe just one cup.
Cats are really good
with tools...
- # When all you gotta keep is strong #
- but dogs are better spellers.
- # Move along, move along #
- That's a... a joke.
- # Like I know you do #
- Dogs, actually.
- That's a funny trick.
- # When all you gotta keep #
- Is there something wrong with cats?
- # Is strong #
- No, cats are great.
- # Move along, move along #
- Their owners are nuts.
- # Like I know you do #
- # When all you gotta keep #
- How many cats do you have?
- # Is strong #
- Four.
- I'll call you, okay?
- # Move along, move along #
- Peace.
- # Like I know you do #
Do you wanna go
to the restaurant?
- I mean, I can take you back now.
- # And even when your hope #
# Is gone,
move along, move along #
- # Just to make it through #
- Okay.
# When all you gotta keep
is strong #
# Move along, move along #
# Like I know you do #
# Go on, go on, go on, go on #
# Right back what is wrong #
# We move along #
# Go on, go on, go on, go on #
# Right back what is wrong #
- Ashley.
- # We move along #
- # Go on, go on, go on, go on #
- Hi.
- Okay, Hi. Hello.
- Hello.
- Long time.
- Yeah, could've gone longer.
Yeah, listen, I've...
I've been thinking
about what I did, and...
Can we stop walking?
I'm trying to...
trying to be sincere...
and the panting
is really killing my delivery.
Sorry.
- I screwed up.
- Yeah, you did.
Yeah, I did.
Definitely screwed up.
But look at it this way.
I pretended I was gay
for five years.
Has any other man ever done
anything like that for you, huh?
I mean,
I could see a guy pretending...
for two, three...
- three, three years tops...
- Okay.
- but five, come on, that's...
- Okay.
All right, listen, Ashley,
you know me.
You know me better
than anyone else does.
And I know you.
Even though
I did a stupid, stupid...
Really stupid.
Beyond crazy, stupid thing
by lying to you...
we have been best friends
for five years.
Yes, that is true.
Look, I don't...
I don't know
any more fancy way to say this.
I'm a good guy. I love you.
And I... I just...
I just really wish
you'd give me a chance, so...
Do I attract
screwed-up guys, or what?
Hiya.
- You.
- Yeah.
Well, he doesn't look so good,
does he?
No, he doesn't.
Finish your mission?
Yeah. You?
No, or I wouldn't still be here.
- Really?
- Mm.
So you do move on
once you finish...
- what you're supposed to do?
- Oh, shoot.
Did you listen
to anything she said?
- No.
- So I guess you're not done yet.
Guess not.
Look, what do you think
you're supposed to do?
I don't know.
Well, what do you want more
than anything else right now?
For Henry to be happy.
Okay.
What do you think
would make Henry happy?
I don't know.
Think you do.
Damn it! Anything but that.
Wait, where are you going?
I'm done.
So your job was to...
Get you to do
the right thing, yeah.
Well, why didn't you just
tell me that in the first place?
Would you have believed me? Mmm.
See ya, up there.
Yeah? Well, if I see you,
I know I'm not in heaven.
That's the spirit.
The yellow dress?
Are you planning on wearing
that, or taking it to Goodwill?
I haven't talked to him
in months.
Wow. No, "Hello, Kate.
"How's the afterlife
treatin' you?"
You know, I think I lost weight.
I never looked this good
when I was alive.
What do you want, Kate?
Um... all right,
this isn't easy for me, so...
You at a loss for words?
That's a first.
Have you talked to Henry,
you know, since...
Since you broke us up?
No, I haven't.
As a matter of fact,
I'm, uh, dating someone else.
No, you're not. You can't be.
Yes, I can,
and we're goin' to Vegas.
Well, stop! What about Henry?
What about him? You know what?
I am not interested
in whatever sick game...
you're playing, Kate.
No, listen to me.
I'm being very serious.
I want you two together.
No sale.
I can't believe I'm begging you
to date my husband.
Okay, don't you still love him?
Even if you weren't
screwing with me right now...
which it's
so clear that you are...
the answer would be no.
I moved on.
I mean, it killed me to do it,
but I did it.
So just, um...
Can you leave me alone now?
Please?
Get up!
Get up!
Henry!
Why can't you hear me?
Get up!
Everything okay over there?
Who cares about the bird?
Call Ashley!
Ashley. Call Ashley.
Ashley.
Did you just say...
- Ashley.
- Who taught you that?
Call Ashley. Call Ashley.
You want me to call Ashley?
What do you...
I'm talking to my bird.
Get up. Get up.
Kate?
Is that you?
Are you talking to me
through my bird?
Yes.
Why do you want me to...
Call Ashley.
I got a machine.
- Airport.
- What?
Airport.
Take the bird.
Oh, yeah.
# Think of all the luck
you got #
- Taxi! Taxi!
- # You know that it's not for naught #
Oh, hey, nice. Thanks.
Welcome.
- # It's not like that anymore #
- Where to?
Airport. Airport.
What? You heard the bird.
The airport.
Why are we going to the airport?
Where is she goin'?
Las Vegas.
And you want me to stop her?
I thought you hated her.
What gave you that idea?
How do you even...
How do you know this?
What a day, right?
Got your bird with you, huh?
It's actually my, uh, fiance.
- # What is this downside #
- Ah.
- I think.
- # That you speak of? #
# What is this feeling #
# You're so #
# Sure of? #
# What is this downside #
Ashley!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Back of the line, sir.
I just need to talk
to that woman for a second.
The only way you get
through here is with a ticket.
Could you maybe get her then?
It's an emergency.
Oh, it's an emergency?
Well, by all means,
come on in, man.
You know,
people who have emergencies...
don't even have to go
through the metal detectors.
All right, there's
really no need for sarcasm.
Back of the line.
Hi. I need the cheapest
ticket you have.
Where do you wanna go, sir?
It doesn't matter.
Well, that's not
at all suspicious.
Hurry up, lard ass.
Excuse me?
Uh... no, that's, uh...
That's... That's my bird.
He says that to everybody.
Move those fat fingers, Helen.
All right, you know what?
That's enough.
Sorry.
One ticket to Miami, $1,350.
- That's the cheapest ticket...
- Don't be cheap. Buy it!
All right, you know,
that's fine. That's fine.
Buy it!
You know, I never really
thought about it...
but, uh, a psychic in Vegas?
We could really clean up,
you know?
Yeah.
Too bad I don't do that anymore.
All right.
Over there.
What?
What's the matter?
You don't wanna know.
Ashley.
What are you doing here?
I don't know.
The bird told me to come here.
Did you do this?
Who are you talking to?
Oh, let me...
Let me guess, uh, the ghost?
Why are you here?
Why is your arm around her?
You're gay.
No, I'm not...
I'm not gay. No, no.
No, I've never been gay.
Methinks
he doth protest too much.
Do you really want this?
Henry does.
Where is she?
She's right next to you.
You want Ashley and me
to be together?
I do.
I'm sorry I put you
through all of this.
She says she does,
and she's sorry...
for being such a royal bitch.
I mean, I'm... I'm paraphrasing.
Thank you, Kate.
You're welcome, Henry.
When we get to heaven,
all bets are off.
She says you're welcome.
So, Kate
wants us to be together.
I want us to be together.
What do you want?
Well, I wouldn't
wanna piss her off again.
# And love #
# Such a silly game
we play #
# Oh, like a summer's day
in May #
# What is love? What is love? #
- Hello?
- # I just want you to be loved #
# Oh-oh-oh #
You know what? That probably
wasn't gonna work out anyway.
- I'm Bill, by the...
- I'm not gay!
- Okay.
- Okay.
- All right.
- Very good.
Me, neither. Not gay at all.
Um, maybe, though,
when we get to Vegas...
we can grab some dinner...
and talk about how,
you know, not gay we are.
# Ah, ah, ah #
# Love #
# Who could tell me
I am wrong? #
# I just think
that I am strong #
# What is love? What is love? #
# I just want you to be loved #
# Oh-oh oh-oh #
# Oh-oh #
I am so glad I met you.
You're hilarious.
I was just going
for ironically amusing.
Are you sure you haven't
been drinking already?
Oh, wait
till after the ceremony.
If you like me now...
you are gonna love me
when I'm drunk.
Wow. That was, um...
- really quick.
- Well, I'm not gay.
I'm not gay.
I just need...
I just wanna get that...
out there right now, so there's
no misunderstanding later.
I'm not...
So that's why we, uh... Okay.
There she is.
Oh, God, hold on, Dad.
One second. One second.
Hi.
Look, I know
this was supposed to be you...
so thank you.
Just make him happy, okay?
Or else, you know.
Wait, can you come back
and haunt me for that, or...
I... I don't know.
I kind of missed
the orientation speech.
Don't worry.
Kate, I will make him happy.
I love Gardenias.
Sorry.
We are gathered here
in the presence of God...
to witness the exchanging
of vows that will bind...
- # I can see clearly now #
- this couple together...
# The rain is gone #
in the covenant and
relationship of marriage.
When the ceremony has ended,
they will leave this place...
- # I can see all obstacles #
- as husband and wife...
- # In my way #
- for the very first time.
# Gone are the dark clouds
that had me blind #
# It's gonna be a bright #
# Bright, sunshiny day #
# Yeah #
# Look all around #
# There's nothin'
but blue skies #
# Look straight ahead #
# There's nothin'
but blue skies #
# I can see clearly now #
# The rain is gone #
# I can see all obstacles
in my way #
# Gone are the dark clouds
that had me blind #
- # It's gonna be a bright #
- Hello, Kate.
- # Bright #
- # Bright #
Not you again! Come on!
Relax! I'm just here
to congratulate you.
Really?
I did the right thing?
You certainly did.
Now just give me back
the orb of true light...
that you collected
from your loved ones...
and you can move on.
I'm sorry,
the orb of which what?
Oh, dear.
Are you screwing with me?
Are you allowed
to screw with me?
Hey, hey, no!
You are not disappearing
on another conversation!
You better hope I don't end up
in this room again!
I'm gonna kick your ass!
Get back here!
# Hey now now #
# They'll find you
when you're sleepin', now now #
# They'll reach in and grab
what you're dreamin', now now #
# Cut it up
and slip it back in #
# And I know, and I know,
and I know it #
# Hey now now #
# The smallest things
are crushin' me now #
# The crush, crush, crush
is so comforting now #
# Did the Earth just slam
in the sun? #
# And I know, and I know,
and I know it #
# Won't undo my past by walkin'
and talkin' backwards #
# Hey now now,
we're goin' down down #
# And we ride the bus there #
# Pay the bus fare #
# Or we find a new reason #
# A new way of livin' #
# And we shout it out #
# And try to dream again #
# Hey now now,
we're goin' down down #
# And we ride the bus there #
# Pay the bus fare #
# Or we find a new reason #
# A new way of livin' #
# And we shout it out #
# And we try to dream again #
# Down, down, down #
# Hey now now #
# We're goin' down down #
# And we ride the bus there #
# Pay the bus fare #
# Or we find a new reason #
# A new way of livin' #
# And we breathe it in #
# And try to dream again #
# Hey now now,
we're goin' down down #
# And we ride the bus there #
# Pay the bus fare #
# Or we find a new reason #
# A new way of livin' #
# And we shout it out #
# And try to dream again #
# Hey now now,
we're goin' down down #
# And we ride the bus there #
# Pay the bus fare #
# Or we find a new reason #
# A new way of livin' #
# And we shout it out #
# And try to dream again #
# He said, "I'll protect you #
# "like you are
the crown jewels," yet #
# Said he's feelin'
sorrier for me #
# The more I behave badly,
I can bet #
# Hey, Lloyd,
I'm ready to be heartbroken #
# 'Cause I can't see further #
# Than my own nose
at this moment #
# Jealousy is more than a word #
# Now I understand #
# You can't stand a girl #
# While holdin' a boy's hand #
# Hey, Lloyd,
I'm ready to be heartbroken #
# 'Cause I can't see further #
# Than my own nose
at this moment #
# Hey, Lloyd,
I'm ready to be heartbroken #
# 'Cause I can't see further #
# Than my own nose
at this moment #
# At this moment #
# I got my life,
a compilation here to sort out #
# Take myself
to an East Coast city #
# And walk about #
# Hey, Lloyd,
I'm ready to be heartbroken #
# 'Cause I can't see further #
# Than my own nose
at this moment #
# Hey, Lloyd,
I'm ready to be heartbroken #
# 'Cause I can't see further #
# Than my own nose
at this moment #
# At this moment #