1
[windmill whirring]
[music playing]
[man moans]
[truck doors close]
[woman groans]
[sighs]
[whispers] You're so gentle.
Whatever works.
[footsteps]
[Ann] Jesus!
- [Carter groans]
- [Ann] No!
- [Carter groans]
- [Ann] No!
- Leave him alone!
- [grunts]
- [groans]
- [man] Get up!
[thud]
[groans]
[man] You're screwin' everybody,
aren't you?
- You son of a bitch!
- [Ann] No!
[squeaking]
[man] That should do it.
[Anne panting]
[Ann] Oh. Oh, my God.
[sobbing]
[gasping]
It's all right. It's all right.
The worst part's over now.
[Ann] Yeah.
We'll go away.
We'll visit my family.
You'd like my family.
[bell dings]
[woman] I just love this house.
It's such a classic Victorian.
It was built around 1886,
probably remodeled slightly
in the '40s.
I know what you're thinking.
Needs a lot of T.L.C.,
and it's a little pricier
than what we were talking
about originally.
But remember, you've got two rental
units downstairs
to help you cover the mortgage.
And I really think,
relatively speaking,
we can get this place for a song.
- Up here.
- [Drake] So, what do you think?
750 grand, huh?
That's not a song,
it's an opera.
Between my savings and Drake's,
we can cover the down payment.
And the Realtor said that we could get
one of those home-equity loans
for improvements.
You'll be totally tapped out.
[Patty] But we'll have rental units.
Well, what if you can't rent them?
Oh, come on. The...the vacancy rate
in this area is less than two percent.
Look, you want my advice
or my approval?
- Your advice.
- Your approval.
[scoffs] Pass.
It's too risky a call.
I mean, if someone misses
one month's rent,
you're gonna go down
like the Titanic.
I don't even...I don't even think you can
get approved for the loan
at your income level.
- We'll fudge the numbers a little.
- Yeah.
Everybody does it. It's expected.
[Drake] Legal description of building.
[Patty] It's a building.
[Drake] Um, well I don't think
that's what they mean.
- It's...it's like you know...
- [Patty] It...it's a...
It's a wooden building
with windows.
[scoffs] All right.
We'll come back to that one.
[Patty] Um, my previous employment.
Equestrienne.
- That's too pompous. Self-employed.
- [Drake] Okay.
Manner in which title will be held?
Like this.
Please, please!
Held with both hands
with a goofy expression.
I can't believe
we're actually gonna do this.
Marital status.
- Single.
- Single.
[people cheering]
- [man] Yeah, do it!
- [woman] Yeah!
Come on!
Come on!
Get it down, buddy! Come on!
- Come on! Knock it down!
- [people cheering]
[Drake] Mine! Now it's all mine!
[thud]
[drilling]
[Drake] If we rent the studio
for 1,000.
And the one-bedroom
for 1,200.
Thirteen hundred.
You should go up and down.
[Drake] All right, 1,300,
that leaves us, uh...
- Fourteen-hundred...
- [Drake] Fourteen hundred dollars
to cover the mortgage, which is
$300 a month less than we used
to be paying, for our two old apartments,
so we're actually
saving money.
Yeah, assuming we don't go broke
before we rent them.
Then you've got to replace
the plumbing and rewire the electric.
We have to remember
this is an investment, Patty.
We can't afford to do
everything at once.
It's not just an investment.
It's our home.
- [Drake] You want something to drink?
- [Patty] Sure.
[cat meows]
[Drake] Hey, there's a cat outside.
Hey, kitty, kitty, kitty.
[Patty] He'll be good luck.
- Aw, he could be hungry.
- Mm-hmm.
Thanks.
[Patty chuckles]
[Patty] Mmm. I'm pooped.
[clears throat]
[sighs]
[giggles]
Is that your "manly" walk?
It's the only walk I've got.
[giggling]
[Patty] You feel comfortable.
- [Drake] Yeah?
- [Patty] Mm-hmm.
[Drake] Like your old saddle?
[Patty] Better. I just wish
I had some spurs.
[Patty giggles]
[Drake] Taste like turpentine.
[both giggling]
[Drake] Oh, that's better.
- [man] Hi, there!
- Good afternoon!
Welcome to the neighborhood, huh?
[Drake] Well, thank you.
[man] I like your place.
[Drake] Hi.
Hi.
How you doing today?
Fine, thank you.
- How do you like the color?
- [man] Pretty good.
[Drake] Hi! Mr. And Mrs. Thayer!
Drake Goodman!
I'm sorry I'm late!
Ran into double overtime,
and I forgot about our appointment.
This is the apartment.
- [Mr. Thayer] Oh!
- [Drake] We're asking $1,300 a month
plus a $2,000 security deposit.
- [Mr. Thayer] Oh!
- [keys clinking]
You pay the gas and electric.
And we pay the water and garbage.
Here, take it.
[Drake] In the back here,
we have the kitchen.
- [woman] Oh, great!
- Brand-new gas stove,
disposable microwave, refrigerator...
[imitating race car]
Stop that!
[Patty] There's a full bath.
All the original tile's been redone.
It's the original bathtub.
We'd want to repaint.
Yeah. We'd pay for all the materials.
It's just so chalky now.
[Patty] What color did you have in mind?
- Black.
- Black.
[speaking Japanese]
[Patty] Here's the gas stove,
the dishwasher,
the microwave, the disposal.
I'm sure Drake showed you all this.
And your credit and references
all checked out.
[speaking Japanese]
Oh, we'll paint over that.
- Huh?
- No, we'll paint over it.
[speaking in Japanese]
- You don't have children, do you?
- No.
This is a very nice place.
- We just wanted to look at it again.
- I understand.
- To be sure.
- Yeah.
[microwave dings]
Just got separated from my wife.
I'm hell in the kitchen.
[Mr. Baker] I've been thinking
about taking a cooking class or something.
[knock on door]
Excuse me.
[speaking in Japanese]
We will take the apartment.
Oh, great! Okay.
[Mr. Watanabe] We would like to start
moving in by tomorrow.
Pardon me.
A thousand a month?
Yeah. Oh, and a $1,500
security deposit.
I can handle that.
[Patty] I'll have the key for you
in the morning, then.
- Thank you.
- Thank you, Mr. Watanabe.
- [Mrs. Watanabe] Arigatou.
- [Patty] Arigatou, Mrs. Watanabe.
Bye-bye.
[door shuts]
Uh, any chance
I can pay you half now,
half at the end of the month?
I'm in this 90-day Cd.
We'll have to check your credit.
No sweat. My credit's solid.
[scoffs]
Actually, I've been looking
to buy a place,
but I haven't found anything
I like for the price yet.
[Patty] Mm-hmm. Here you go.
I said my credit is solid.
Well, you still have to fill out
an application,
and Drake will wanna check it out.
Understand something.
I want this apartment.
My credit is good.
- I don't want to lose it because...
- Obviously,
you're at the top
of the list, Mr. Baker.
You're the first person
who's seen the place.
Yeah. [chuckles]
Okay. Thank you.
You're welcome.
- Uh, Ms. Palmer?
- Yes?
I'm sorry.
I just get the runaround
so much, you know?
That's okay. No sweat.
I'll get this back to you
as soon as I can.
[Patty] Okay.
[bell buzzing]
- Patty?
- [Patty] In here. I'm sick.
[buzzing continues]
What's the matter?
[Patty] I'll be all right.
Answer the door.
It might be Mr....what's his name?
For the key to downstairs.
[buzzing continues]
- [Drake] Morning.
- [man] Good morning
[indistinct chatter]
- [Drake] Morning.
- [man] Morning.
Mrs. Watanabe, these are the keys
to the back apartment.
- I'm so sorry so early.
- It's okay.
I'll just...I'll just go
get dressed.
All these people aren't moving
in with you, are they?
[laughs]
[speaking Japanese]
[continue speaking in Japanese]
[Carter] Mr. Palmer, right?
Goodman. Drake Goodman.
- [Carter] Sorry.
- [car door closes]
Very good.
- [Drake] Hi.
- Hi, I'm Carter Hayes.
I stopped by a couple of weeks ago
and spoke with your wife
about renting
the studio apartment.
My...my girlfriend.
Oh, you're girlfriend. Oh, sorry.
We don't want to rush anything, do we?
I assume it's still available?
Yes, it is. Um...
Is Patty here?
I don't wanna keep you, if you've got...
No, it's no problem. You know, I'm...
I'm taking care of the rentals,
did she show you the apartment?
No. No, I'd like to look at it,
if I might.
Oh, good.
Yeah, we can go this way.
[Carter] Listen, is it all right
if I leave my car here?
- Yeah.
- [Carter] Thanks.
[car alarm beeps]
[Carter] Boy, you've done
a beautiful job here.
[Drake] Thank you.
It's uh, it's taken just about
every cent we've got.
Yeah, I'll bet.
I love these old Victorians.
My grandmother, uh,
my father's mother, I guess it was
grew up in a mansion
in pacific heights.
Oh, yeah? Whereabouts?
Uh, Broadway and uh,
I don't know.
I don't know. They tore it down.
I'd never actually been there,
but I had seen the photographs, you know
and I'd heard all the stories.
Boy, can you imagine
what that piece of real estate
would be worth today, huh?
Well, you know we all got
to start somewhere.
[Carter] Yeah.
- Is this your first place?
- [Drake] Yes, it is.
You and your girlfriend
went in on it together?
[Drake] Yeah, you know partners.
[Carter] Yeah.
It's hard, isn't it?
Well, it's the first time
we've lived together.
It's...it's working though.
[scoffs] Not to mention
the rent we're saving.
[footsteps]
When can I move in, Drake?
Oh well, you know I'll just have to have
you just fill out an application...
You know, I'd like to...if you don't mind
pay you the first six months in advance.
Well, I still need you to get the...
I may even have it on me.
Uh, the reason for the six months
is I travel a lot on my business.
And I'm in and out of the country,
so I can't always guarantee
that I'll be here.
The first of the month.
Damn. I've only got about $2,900...
on me.
How about if I pay you
2,000 now,
and then, of course,
I could pay you the rest next week,
or I could wire you the entire amount,
which would be...
- seventy...
- Seventy-five hundred.
Seventy-five hundred
from my bank in San Antonio.
Um...you know, I'm sorry,
but I still have to get
this application filled out.
It's just a formality.
Yeah, it's a credit history,
that sort of thing.
Yeah.
Um, is there a problem?
Well, no. It's just that I work
for a private trust.
And the trust pays me
my expenses and my salary.
They pay my bank cards,
my room and board, et cetera.
So I don't really have
that traditional kind of credit.
- You understand?
- [Drake] Um,
could I verify the trust?
Well, see, I'm bound
by client confidentiality.
I mean, they're a prominent family
and they've got interests worldwide.
Boy, believe me, I would if I could.
Let me think.
I'm always running
into this problem, you know?
- Do you have a phone?
- Yeah, upstairs.
You know, better yet.
I'll tell you what.
Why don't I give you
some local personal references,
or call the trust private attorney,
Bennett Fidlow?
- [Drake] Yeah, okay. A previous landlord.
- [Carter] I got it.
Yeah, I hope you don't mind
calling out of town.
I don't think
you'll have a problem.
[Drake] No, no. Mr. Hayes listed
Mr. Fidlow as a personal reference
on a rental application.
[woman on the phone] I'm sorry,
what was that name again?
Carter Hayes.
- [woman] Hayes. Mr. Fidlow only handles...
- Ma'am, ma'am!
Yes, Mr. Hayes told me
that it was a private family trust.
This is just a personal reference.
[woman] Yes. Well, he'll have to give you
that information himself.
[Drake] I see. Well, when Mr. Fidlow
gets the time,
- could you please have him call me?
- [woman] I will. Goodbye.
[dial tone]
[Ann] No, no.
He was a model tenant.
Always paid his rent on time,
left the unit spotlessly clean.
In fact, I think I gave him
his whole security deposit back.
That was the first time
I've ever done that.
[Drake] So, you can definitely
recommend Mr. Hayes?
I can recommend him to you
with no hesitation at all.
[Drake] Thank you.
I'd like to thank you for your time.
Listen, um, just out of curiosity, uh,
where has Carter moved to,
Mr., uh, Mr....
- [Drake] Goodman.
- Mr. Goodman.
Just...just out of curiosity,
do you have that address?
[Patty] What about Mr. Baker?
- [Drake] What about him?
- He was here first.
No, where's his application?
Maybe he's one of those
minority scam artists.
What are you talking about?
No, they...they try to get you worried
about discrimination,
so you don't check their credit.
That's not what happened.
Some of these people
can be pretty shrewd, Patty.
How would you know?
It's not a racial thing.
It's just common sense.
Look, I...I spoke to the woman
at the bank
and she told me
that Carter Hayes' income
is over $200,000 a year.
I've checked him out.
Okay, fine.
Then let's rent to him
if you say he's okay.
He's a nice guy.
You met him.
- When?
- A couple weeks ago.
I said he came by and talked to you.
I don't think so.
He knew your name. Why would he say
he talked to you? If he hadn't.
I don't know.
Look, Patty, I'm just taking up
the slack here.
I mean, you're worried
about paint and the wallpaper.
Somebody's got to rent
these two apartments,
so we can make
next month's mortgage.
You're losing your sense of humor.
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.
You're becoming a crotchety,
old man with his building.
Next thing I know, you're gonna have hair
growing out of weird parts of your face.
You'll be wandering around
with a toilet plunger and
griping about property taxes
and people who take long showers.
- No, I won't.
- Yes, you will.
[chuckles]
- You don't think, I can handle this?
- Yes, I do.
[child shrieks]
[indistinct pounding]
Somebody in here?
[Carter] Oh, hi.
I thought you were
from the, uh, phone company.
[Patty] Who are you?
I'm your new tenant.
I'm Carter Hayes.
You must be Patty, right?
Yeah.
I think I spoke with you
a couple of weeks ago...
No, you didn't.
How did you get in here?
Well, the door was open a little
and I just opened it
and came on in.
I didn't want to ring the buzzer
and bother you so early, so I just...
let myself in. Hope that's okay.
Drake said, it would be all right
if I came by for the phone installation.
Oh.
Was that you hammering?
No.
You did a great job
restoring this place.
Thanks.
Did you pick those light fixtures out?
Yeah.
[Carter] You have nice taste.
Thanks.
Nice meeting you.
[door shuts]
I found a roofer. It's gonna cost us
75 bucks for an estimate.
It's a good thing
I rented that other apartment.
Mr. Hayes is downstairs.
What do you mean
he's downstairs?
In the apartment.
- Did you let him in?
- He was already in.
I told him he can't move in
till we get his money.
Well, I heard hammering,
and there he was.
What was he hammering?
He said he wasn't.
Mr. Hayes?
- It's Drake Goodman.
- [knocking]
Carter?
Is anybody in there?
[suspenseful music]
I'm sorry, but we have no record
of a wire transfer
to your account, Mr. Goodman...
My tenant assured me
the money would be wired today.
Bank of Texas, $7,500.
Maybe the bank lost the money
or it got credited to the wrong account.
[woman] It's doubtful, but I'd need
the transaction numbers
to tell you anything more.
It is possible he never wired
the money, Mr. Goodman,
for his own reasons.
Please, just check the account
one more time.
[woman clears throat]
[typing]
- [drill whirs]
- [knocking]
[whirring stops]
Who...who are you?
Who are you?
I'm the landlord.
Oh. Carter went to Seattle
on business.
He'll be back on Friday.
Carter was supposed
to wire me some money for his...
his rent and security deposit.
It never came...
Look, I don't know
anything about that.
You're gonna have to talk
to Carter, okay?
What's your name?
- Greg.
- Greg, listen.
If you speak to Carter
before Friday,
would you please tell him
that he's got this problem,
- with his rent and security deposit...
- Well, that sounds like your problem okay?
Ask him to call me
with the transaction numbers
or give them to you to give to me.
So we can straighten this out.
Yeah. I'll be sure
to give him the message.
[door slams, locks]
[speaking Japanese]
[crash]
[speaking Japanese]
[Patty] Oh, you just hit a wire.
It's okay.
- Oh.
- I'll go down and fix it.
Um, don't pull that nail
until I say it's okay.
All right.
[Mr. Watanabe] You require new wires.
This is a very dangerous situation.
[speaking Japanese]
[Patty] Okay!
[speaking Japanese]
I got it!
[Patty] Is it on?
[Drake] No!
How 'bout now?
[Drake] Not yet!
[Patty] Drake?
[Drake] No, Patty!
[flicking switches]
Did that do it?
[Drake] Not yet!
There you go!
[Patty] Okay!
Mr. Hayes?
Is that you?
Mr. Hayes?
[suspenseful music]
- [Patty] Drake?
- [Drake] Hey, you fixed it.
Hayes is down there.
Sitting in his car.
He was just watching me.
[car engine revs]
[Drake] Hayes?
Hey!
[tires screech]
[Drake] No, thank you.
I've left my number before
and Mr. Fidlow has never
returned my phone call.
- [woman] What was that name again?
- Carter Hayes.
H-a-y-e-s.
I've left you
all this information before.
[woman] Well, I'm sorry, sir.
We do not have a client by that name.
Well maybe, maybe you can explain to me,
how it is that Mr. Fidlow
doesn't know a Carter Hayes.
When Mr. Hayes,
who's locked himself
into my goddamn apartment.
And hasn't paid me any rent
keeps telling me to call
his goddamn attorney,
tenant Fidlow in San fucking
Antonio, Texas!
Hello?
[screams] Hello?
[slams telephone]
[Patty] Okay, what's the most important
thing I said to remember
when we're riding?
- [children] We're the boss.
- [Patty] That's right.
And why are we the boss?
- [children] 'Cause we're smarter.
- [Patty] Absolutely.
[giggles]
[horse neighs]
[Patty] Okay, that's enough for today.
Dismount.
- Can you take over, Donna?
- Okay.
- [Drake] Hi.
- [Patty] Hey.
[Donna] Okay, guys. You remember?
Put the reigns in your right hand...
You look so serious.
Rough day at work.
It's a kite-eat-kite world
out there, Patty.
You know, I was...I was thinking maybe
we could sneak out tonight.
I made a reservation down
at mama jam's.
[Patty] I don't know if I'm up to it.
[Drake] Ah, a bottle of wine,
a nice dinner.
It'll do us both good.
I went to the doctor today.
Why?
Well, I can't seem to shake
this flu that I've been fighting.
So I figured I'd just make
an appointment and go.
What did he say?
[scoffs] It's definitely not the flu.
[Drake] Well, that's good, then.
You know, maybe we'd both feel
better if we went out and had some fun.
Hayes' rent didn't come, did it?
No. Tomorrow, probably.
- Probably?
- Yeah, it's a bank mix-up.
Look, I'm on top of it,
don't worry about it...
- [Patty] Drake.
- Look,
I got us into this, Patty.
I'm gonna get us out of it.
End of discussion.
End of discussion?
[horse neighs]
The doctor says I'm pregnant.
Oh.
[sighs] Oh, wow.
Congratulations.
[Patty chuckles]
[indistinct pounding]
[banging and pounding]
[meows]
[telephone rings]
Hello.
- [Mr. Watanabe] Uh, Ms. Palmer?
- Who is this?
[drill whirs]
- [Drake] Yeah.
- I come here and knock.
Nobody answers.
Hammering stops.
I go back...
Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam!
[hammering]
I don't like this guy.
[drill whirs]
It's Drake Goodman, the landlord.
May I come in?
Look, I know you're in there.
I can hear you in there.
I've got a key,
so if you don't open the door,
I'm just gonna come in anyway.
He's changed the locks.
You changed the fucking locks!
All right. All right.
Good night!
[suspenseful music playing]
[Drake] I don't care if he comes through
with the money now or not.
I just want him out.
No harm, no foul.
He leaves right away,
he doesn't owe us anything.
Goodbye, good riddance.
- [doorbell buzzes]
- [Patty] Now what?
[Drake] Jeez.
[buzzing]
Yes, who is it?
[policeman] San Francisco,
police department.
They were doing construction
at two fucking 30 in the morning.
They won't answer the door!
I can't use my key to get in,
because they changed
all the fucking locks!
[policeman] I don't appreciate
foul language, sir.
Sir, may I say something?
My friend is a sculptor.
And he was working
a little late last night.
- I'm very sorry if it kept anyone up...
- Bullshit!
You back off!
Look, he hasn't even paid his rent!
Ask him!
Apparently, there has been a mix-up
in the wire transfer of my money
in San Francisco. I'm sorry.
They've moved in there,
they've changed all the locks.
So I can't see what he and his
- little buddy are destroying.
- I signed the lease.
[Drake] He hasn't paid the rent or even
a security fucking deposit!
- [Patty] Drake, take it easy.
- Look, I can handle this, Patty!
- Fine.
- [Carter] Listen, listen, listen!
I understand, why Mr. Goodman is upset.
His bank lost my money,
I was out of town.
The man's caught in the middle.
I don't even wanna file a complaint.
But I don't understand
why he wouldn't give me the opportunity
to straighten things out.
Unless he's found someone
he'd rather rent to...
This is such bullshit!
- Come on!
- Look, let's take a walk.
- Come on. Now!
- I just...
I just want the guy
to pay his rent!
[policeman] Come on. Cool it down.
[Drake] What? What?
[policeman] What you did
is against the law.
Listen, Patty,
I'm sorry it's come to this.
The bank assures me
that the money's been sent.
- I don't think Drake understands...
- I'd like you to not talk to me.
[policeman] Listen to me, listen.
[Drake] I just want the guy
the hell out of my house.
Well, then you better listen to me,
or he's gonna be so far up your butt,
you're gonna be picking him
out your nose.
Now, I want you to turn back on
all the heat and all the power
to this man's apartment.
You apologize, and you do not...
and I emphasize do not,
harass him again.
Then go out
and get yourself a lawyer.
Because according
to California civil code,
Mr. Hayes can sue you
for this stunt you just pulled.
And most likely he'll win.
He doesn't even have a right
to be in the apartment...
- Are you listening to me...
- He hasn't paid the rent...
Are you listening to me?
If he's in, he's got rights.
That's how it works.
And I'll tell you
something else, friend.
If he decides to fight
an eviction,
you're already knee-deep in shit.
Get a lawyer.
[Stephanie] He's taken possession,
so whether he signed a lease
or whether he paid you money or not,
he's legally your tenant now.
And he's protected by laws
that say you have to go to court
and prove that he deserves to be evicted.
However, the net effect of these laws,
is to protect any pointy-headed cretin,
who moves into your property.
And slowly drives you bankrupt
and insane.
- [Patty] So what do we do?
- I can take on the case.
[Patty] What are our chances
of winning?
No guarantees.
Uh, my base fee
for an uncontested case is $250.
We charge $90 an hour thereafter
and a minimum of $360
for any court appearances.
How long will it take?
Uncontested, six to eight weeks.
If he contests?
Six to eight months,
worst case.
And then, you have to go after him
in court again to collect.
Wouldn't it just be a lot easier
to throw him out?
Easy and wrong.
This is the process, folks.
There aren't any shortcuts.
I need a description of Hayes
for Mr. Revilla, my process server.
And I need the key to your front door.
- Is Carter Hayes in?
- No.
I have some important documents for him.
[door locks]
Okay. All right.
[car horn]
Get 'em shined, get 'em shined.
Shine 'em up.
Buddy, you need to get
in the bank and get a loan.
Look at them shoes.
All right. low-investment loans
for people with shoes like yours.
Come here.
Get that good shine right here.
I'll put a glow on that toe.
All right, who's next?
Ladies in skirts, half-price.
Come here, sunshine.
Get that half-price special
right here on Dr. Shoe love.
Get 'em shined.
Get 'em shined here.
Line 'em up.
Line 'em up.
[Dennis] All right, all right.
Let me just guess what they said.
As much as we'd like to help you,
we just can't afford
to string out the loan.
Wouldn't be fair to us,
and it wouldn't be fair to you,
- right?
- Right.
They tell you the bank
is pulling for you, that
no one wants to foreclose a loan?
They tell you that?
It's horse-pucky, banker speak.
So what...what do we do now, Reed?
I could loan you maybe a grand,
but that's not gonna help.
It's not gonna do it.
And there are alternative lenders,
you know,
high-interest houses
that specialize in burying you.
"Let a smile be your umbrella."
[Drake] Great.
- I could start riding again.
- Well, that's a good idea, Patty.
You're pregnant, with a blown knee.
You seriously think that you could
ride a horse in competition...
Wait a minute. Are you pregnant?
My knee is fine,
and I don't have to be pregnant...
Look, I'm not going to lose you,
I'm not going to lose our child,
- and I'm not going to lose our house.
- Drake.
Well, I guess
we can just stop worrying now.
Listen to this.
"Dear Drake and Patty, I'm so sorry
for the misunderstanding,
that has come between us.
Please accept this gift,
in my sincere hope
that we can work everything out,
Carter Hayes."
[meowing]
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
[meows]
[Mrs. Watanabe screams]
Mrs. Patty! Mrs. Patty!
Help! Mrs. Patty!
Kitchen! Kitchen! Kitchen!
[speaking Japanese]
Okay, okay.
- [speaking in Japanese]
- [Patty] In here?
- [Mrs. Watanabe] Coco...coco...
- [Patty] What?
[both scream]
Oh, shit!
Oh! Shit!
Oh! Oh!
[exterminator] The San Francisco roach,
generally German
or oriental in derivation.
With your krauts
edging out your rice grinders,
in the overall disgustingness factor.
But I think these were American.
How are we supposed
to pay for this?
- We're $1,100 short this month!
- Don't yell at me!
If we don't do it,
Macdonald says we lose the eviction.
We can't afford that, either.
Maybe we should borrow money for this.
- No, no! We're not gonna borrow money!
- This is stupid.
We should just let this building go!
[Drake] Okay, fine!
You do whatever you want!
I'm not letting this jerk
chase me out of my own property!
[exterminator] It's the promiscuity factor
that makes it hard to hammer down.
I'll be using your clog purifiers
and Pyrethrum,
and a high-pressure injection system.
I've also got the R.S.U.
- What's that?
- Roach sucking unit.
It's just a backup.
[whimpers]
Whoa!
They're coming in from next door!
Oh, shit!
Whoa, reinforcements!
[whimpers]
They probably camped out
in the other apartment.
If we go at it from over there,
we have a better chance
of containing them.
What if we can't?
Get a whole bunch
of little, tiny leashes
and pretend they're pets.
[Drake] I'm sorry.
You know...
our luck...
has got to change tomorrow.
Maybe.
[knock on door]
[doorbell buzzes]
- [door opens]
- [doorbell buzzes]
- [Patty] Yeah?
- Uh, Carter Hayes lives here, doesn't he?
[Patty clears throat] Yes.
Yeah well, do you know if he's in?
Because I've been ringing the buzzer
and there doesn't seem
to be any answer.
[Patty] I don't know.
- [Ann] Is Carter Hayes in there?
- Uh, no, he's not here.
Look, I'm Ann.
Did he tell you about me?
He must have told you about me.
Ann from the desert?
Look, I've been driving all night.
I don't have time for this shit.
Now, I know that he's in there.
I'm not leaving until I talk to him...
Why don't you just come in here, okay?
[Ann] Let go of me.
What are you doing?
- [Greg] Shut up!
- [Ann] Are you his partner?
- [Greg] Shut up!
- [Ann] Are you his partner...
[Greg] That's none of your business...
- [Ann] I need to talk to him.
- [Greg] About what?
[Ann] Come on, you're not that stupid.
Figure it out.
[woman] No, I'm sorry.
It was a gift.
[man] Was it 18-karat gold,
14-karat gold?
[woman] I...I have no knowledge
of jewelry. I...I just...I'm sorry.
I just need the money. Desperately.
[woman] Next!
The only way I can swing it
is if you deposit $5,800 with us.
If you do that,
I can give you $5,000.
[man] That's what we call a secured loan.
You could probably get the money
in a couple of days.
No qualifying.
If I had $5,800, I wouldn't need
to borrow anything.
[man] Right.
I guess we won't be doing
any business then.
Wait a minute.
Your ad in the yellow pages,
your ad said that you give
high-risk loans,
that you specialize in giving loans
to people who can't get a loan
anyplace else.
Lady, don't believe
everything you read, okay?
I've gone through the figures
three times. I cannot do it.
All I'm asking for is $5,000
to get us through the next few months.
You have a $750,000
piece of property here.
Sell your building
and keep the change.
Can't sell the building.
- [woman] Is she done yet?
- She's done.
[suspenseful music playing]
[distant banging and shuffling]
[Greg] Is there something
you wanna tell me, man?
[Carter] What do you mean?
[Greg] I think there's a lot of stuff
you're not telling me, Carter.
[Carter] I'm sure there are a lot
of things I'm not telling you.
[Greg] Your girlfriend came by
the other day.
[Carter] So?
[Greg] So, she told me the two of you
made 250 grand
on a real-estate deal like this,
and she didn't see any of it.
- [thud]
- [Carter] She's mistaken.
She's a useless bitch.
She was paid.
She didn't even have to do anything.
I had the whole thing bartered.
Listen to me.
Listen to me carefully, okay?
This is my business.
I'm very good at it, Greg.
- [Greg] Yeah?
- Yeah!
Then how come we're getting
evicted so soon?
You said, man, that wasn't gonna happen...
I told you from the fucking get-go,
there was gonna be certain risks involved
and you have to be flexible!
[Greg] Yeah, well,
don't bullshit me, Carter!
Look, I just want you to know
that I know, man,
if you try and cut me out, man...
- What, Greg?
- Just don't do it!
[thud]
[grunts]
[grunts]
[meows]
[tires squeal]
[door opens]
[Patty] Drake?
Drake!
- Drake?
- What?
Oh, God. I almost ran over
that guy from downstairs.
I thought maybe you'd gotten
in a fight with him.
[Drake] They've got our cat down there,
and they're breeding roaches.
Apparently, screwing people over
is just a job to them.
What are you talking about?
[Drake] Isn't that the best?
I mean,
our life is coming apart.
And this son of a bitch
just thinks it's business as usual.
[Patty] Oh, Drake.
- This is what he does for a living.
- You're drunk.
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.
- What?
- You'll like this too.
This was under the door
when I came in.
It's from the Watanabes.
[laughs]
Oh.
[Mr. Watanabe]
It's the noise and the bugs and...
and my wife. She can't sleep.
Me...I'm so sorry. It's no good.
You signed a lease for one year,
Mr. Watanabe.
[Mr. Watanabe] I will try to pay you back.
Moving expense,
new apartment expense,
lots of expense.
You can take me to court,
sue me, but...
[Mrs. Watanabe] So sorry.
I'm so sorry.
[sighs]
Well...[scoffs]
I guess there's nothing else to say.
Good fortune.
[Patty] Yeah.
[indistinct conversations]
[Judge] In answer to your suit
against him,
Mr. Hayes has submitted
to the court affidavits a and b.
Confirming plaintiff's attempted
unlawful eviction of a Mr. Hayes,
on the 15th of last May.
I turned his gas and electricity off.
There was a police...
Your...your honor, my client tonight...
[Judge] Ms. Macdonald, I assume
- you have received these documents...
- Yes.
I have just received them.
I think there's been a mix-up.
I think the law is quite clear
on this point, don't you?
Mr. Hayes is entitled to a reduction
of rent due to uninhabitability,
caused by Mr. Goodman's misguided attempt
to force him from the premises
by disconnecting his utilities.
Court rules for the defendant,
Carter Hayes.
Let the record show
that according to the lease,
Mr. Hayes' legal costs
will be paid by the plaintiff.
Your honor, I would like to ask
for a ten-minute postponement.
[Judge] Ms. Macdonald, I see where you
have other cases before this court today.
I hope you're better prepared
for them.
I assume you'll want to cooperate
with the bench now,
in keeping things moving?
- Yes, sir.
- [judge hits gavel]
That's it?
Why didn't you tell me
you tried to force him out?
- I didn't think it mattered.
- You set us back months.
He's lying!
This guy has been playing you
like a piano concerto.
Me? What about you?
I got a guy living in my building
hasn't paid me one cent!
Not only can't you get him out,
but now I owe him money?
Maybe you'd like to retain
another attorney.
Stephanie...
please don't quit.
Drake's been under a lot of pressure.
The bank is threatening
to foreclose on us.
This isn't a moral question,
Patricia.
Morally, you're right.
You win. Big deal.
This is a game,
and the object of the game
is to get Mr. Hayes out of your building
before he destroys your lives.
He knows you're gonna
get him out eventually.
He's just trying to stay there
as long as he can.
- Why?
- I don't know.
Because it's possible.
Because he's evil.
What difference does it make?
It's nothing personal.
God forbid
he ever makes it personal.
["Lethal tendencies"
by hallows eve plays]
Out of food, out of time
Those who live do not give
A taste of war, a taste of death
Death
[music stops]
Drake!
- Stop it!
- [metal objects clanking]
- [Patty] Damn it, damn it! Drake!
- What? What?
What is happening to you?
I want him out of here!
[sobbing]
[panting]
- [wood creaking]
- [booming]
[pounding]
[sawing]
[banging]
[meows]
[birds cawing]
[sensual music]
[thunder rumbling]
[water dripping]
[panting]
Patty?
[water running]
Patty?
[water running]
- [Patty crying]
- [Drake] Patty?
[sobbing]
- Patty.
- [Patty grunting]
[grunts]
[Doctor] Just a couple more
tests for you.
- [Drake] Hi.
- Hi.
How do you feel?
I feel like lady Macbeth.
There was so much blood.
Everything's gonna be all right.
You know the doctor says we can even
try again after a few months.
[crying]
[crying]
[rings]
[woman on the phone] 911 emergency.
Give me the police, please.
Something's gotta change, Drake.
You and me and this place,
it's just not working.
Drake?
What do you expect me
to say to that, Patty?
"Fine."? "Nice knowing you."?
- Jesus!
- That's not what I meant!
I don't know
what to expect anymore.
Maybe that's part of the problem.
I'm sorry I talked you
into buying this place.
You didn't talk me into anything.
Patty...
something was right about us before.
Whatever else that's got screwed up,
we have to remember that.
[knock on door]
Hi, I didn't want to...
intrude, but I heard
the ambulance last night,
and I called the hospital,
and they told me what happened.
God, nature can be so cruel
sometimes.
Anyway, Patty, I wanted
to offer my condolences,
and if there's anything
at all I can do to help..
[groans]
Drake!
[Patty] Drake!
Drake, stop! Stop it!
Drake, stop it!
You'll kill him! Stop it!
Drake, goddamn it!
[grunts]
Stop it!
[grunts]
Drake, are you all right?
Are you all right?
I'm sorry, Patty.
[Patty] It's okay.
[sirens wailing]
[Patty] No, no, no! No! No!
Officer!
Officer! Hey, hey! Don't hurt him!
What are you all looking
at me for?
[grunts]
[policeman] You have the right
to remain silent.
[Drake screams]
Anything you say can and will
be used against you...
Please don't hurt him!
...you have the right
to speak to an attorney...
You're arresting the wrong man!
Can I go with him?
- No.
- Please!
[policeman] Keep struggling and I'll break
your goddamn arm!
Watch your head!
You got the wrong fucking man!
You arrested the wrong man!
[Engine revs]
[sighs]
There's nothing you can do
until the arraignment tomorrow morning.
He needs a criminal law specialist,
Patricia.
I'm out of my depth here.
I can recommend somebody.
My guess is that Hayes doesn't care
about the criminal charges.
He's gonna go after Drake
with a civil suit.
This is what he wanted.
Game's over. Drake loses.
Can I give you a ride home?
[clears throat]
[Patty] What does this do
to the eviction?
[Stephanie] Ironically, nothing.
We'll get him out.
Of course, Hayes might get the building
before he's through,
because of the civil suit.
It's lucky you're not married,
otherwise Drake would pull you
down with him.
I had a miscarriage last night.
I know.
I need to know
where Drake will be staying.
He'll be at home with me.
Patty, Hayes is asking
for a temporary restraining order,
because of the assault.
Drake can't come within
500 feet of the building
as long as Hayes is there.
This is our home.
- This is all happening to us in our home.
- I know.
- Do you want a hand?
- No, no, I got it.
Ooh, I'm gonna get
some clean sheets.
These look pretty rude.
[door unlocking]
[telephone rings]
Hello?
Hello?
[Carter] Patty...
you know...
I think that under different
circumstances...
you and I could have gotten
to be good friends.
[dial tone]
[operator] The time allotted
for you to dial has been exceeded.
Please hang up and dial again.
The time allotted for you
to dial has been exceeded...
[classical music plays loudly]
[disconnected call tone]
[Dennia] Get it started,
now watch this. Voil!
[telephone rings]
[Drake] I'll get that. Hang on, man,
don't burn the house down.
- Hello?
- Hi, it's me, um...
[Drake] Is everything all right?
I just wanted to see
how you were doing.
[Drake] Fine.
It only hurts when I blink.
[chuckling]
- [Patty] Um...
- Is something wrong?
No, I...I just...I miss you.
[Drake] Why don't you come over here?
Yeah, I mean look this is ridiculous.
Why don't you come over here
and spend the night?
No, it's okay.
Um, somebody's gotta be here.
[Drake] Nobody has to be there.
- Tell me what's wrong.
- Everything's fine.
- [Drake] No, Patty...
- I'd better...
- I'd better go. Don't worry.
- [Drake] Patty...
- Bye.
- [Drake] Patty, Patty? You know...
[sighs]
[door unlocks]
[step creaks]
[Carter] You're a very brave
and stupid man.
What are you doing, Drake?
You can't come in here.
Listen, Carter.
It's no big deal.
I just want to go upstairs
and see Patty, okay?
But you're breaking the law,
Drake.
W...wait a minute.
- [gunshot]
- [grunts]
[grunting]
[heart monitor beeping]
Hi.
I really screwed things up.
I don't know
what I've been trying to prove.
Shh! Don't talk.
What was I trying to prove?
You don't have to prove anything.
Go to sleep.
- [Drake] I love you.
- I love you, too.
[Henry] We have no case
because Hayes
was technically within his right
to protect himself.
I mean, Goodman threatens Hayes,
who fearing for his life,
justifiably, based upon
the previous assault complaint
defends himself.
You're the D.A.
Henry, make a case!
There's a history
of mutual animosity here.
There's a history
of Goodman assaulting Hayes.
I can make a case, but I can't win it.
What's the point?
They're a nice couple.
Right.
Well, at least the default
judgment came through today.
We're evicting
the son of a bitch tomorrow.
[man] I'll need you to sign right here.
[knock on door]
Mr. Carter Hayes?
It's the sheriff's department, Mr. Hayes.
We've come to see you out.
The appointed locksmith,
Manford beagle,
will facilitate entry at this point.
[drill whirs]
[man] Ohh!
[flies buzzing]
Oh, my God.
[sighs]
[coughs]
- [Patty groans]
- [Sheriff] Damn.
God, this is bad.
[man] How much can he make
off of this crap?
[Sheriff] Who knows?
[sobbing] Ohh!
[Patty sobbing] God!
[breathing heavily]
[police officer] Look, I don't have
his name yet.
He's still probably
at the station...
Gas stove, microwave,
disposal, dishwasher,
two sinks, one toilet?
Um, about how many electrical
fixtures would you guess?
I don't know.
Okay, well it's not important,
but you know,
we will need it for your insurance.
We're gonna need a complete list.
Our insurance was cancelled.
[telephone rings]
- Yeah?
- [man] Is Patricia Palmer still with you?
Yeah, she's right here.
- [man] I'd like to speak with her.
- Yeah, sure. Come on in.
That's my boss.
I recognized the name
on the report.
You two know each other?
Bobby, why don't you take these upstairs,
see if we can get a running start
on where this cretin
might fence the appliances?
- Sure thing, Lieutenant.
- Thank you.
I guess you're wishing now
you'd rented to the black man.
You never brought back
your application.
I brought it back.
I never got it.
Uh-huh.
The Porsche in your garage
was leased.
Hayes made one payment,
put stolen plates on it.
They've been looking for him
ever since.
I sent a tow to haul away
what's left of it.
He shot my boyfriend.
I know. You're lucky
he didn't kill him.
This is a sick individual, Ms. Palmer.
Be grateful he's out of your life.
Right now, you don't mean
a thing to him. Leave it that way.
If he's gonna get caught,
we'll catch him.
He shot my boyfriend.
My boyfriend is in the hospital.
He destroyed our property.
There are lawsuits,
there's the foreclosure.
I had a miscarriage.
And you're telling me
to forget about him?
Next time, maybe he ain't so lucky.
Next time, maybe he runs into the man,
who blows his brains out.
Next time?
[Mr. Baker] Let him go, Ms. Palmer.
[sighs]
[Patty] Hi. Mr. Fidlow, please?
[woman on the phone]
May I ask what it's concerning?
[Patty] It's regarding James Danforth.
[intercom beeps]
Yes, ma'am?
[woman on the phone]
It's a Patricia Palmer on line one,
- regarding James Danforth.
- All right. Put her through.
How can I help you?
[Patty] Um, yeah, you represent
Charles and James Danforth?
I'm executor of the family trust.
A special Conservatorship
Benefitting James Danforth.
But this should not be confused
with being his attorney,
- whatever he's told you.
- [Patty] Mr. Fidlow, are you aware...
And furthermore,
whatever James has done...
the trust cannot be touched,
and neither I nor his brother
can or will
be held accountable for his activities.
You mean his family pays him
to stay away?
[Mr. Fidlow chuckles]
I'm afraid I can't comment on that.
Where is he now?
[Mr. Fidlow] Look, you just best let this
- sleeping dog lie.
- Where...
[Mr. Fidlow] Lady, he's been out
of control for a long time.
Well, maybe I should just go
to his brother directly.
You can't touch it,
Ms. Palmer.
James has no assets,
the trust cannot be attached,
and he is legally severed
from his family.
[Patty] I don't want money, Mr. Fidlow.
I just want to know where he is.
He doesn't tell me where he is, ever.
[Patty] Well, then tell me
where he's been.
[Ann] He's far and away the most
intelligent man I've ever met.
He's not your type.
Oh, it's okay to want him.
It's a free country.
I could tell, you know,
when I saw you up in Frisco,
I could tell
you had a thing for him.
[Patty] Are you his type?
What do you think?
I think you're sitting here
waiting for him,
and meanwhile, he's blowing you off.
And it's pretty pathetic.
You don't even know him.
You don't even know
his real name.
It isn't Hayes, you know.
It isn't Carter Hayes.
Carter Hayes is the stupid
old man who owned this condo.
He tried to throw us out,
he sent his tough guys
after us to rough us up.
But now look who's here
and look who's not.
You're the pathetic one,
and he didn't blow me off.
He sent me a postcard
just yesterday.
Read it.
He's not like anyone else.
He does whatever he wants.
We understand each other.
That's what we have.
You?
You're just chasing a shadow.
[Victor] Yes, Andr.
I need it delivered
immediately to room 1515.
[Patty] Excuse me.
[Victor] Yes. Thank you.
Do you have someone named
carter Hayes staying here?
Hayes? I'll check.
[typing]
No, I'm sorry. We don't.
How about Goodman...
Drake Goodman?
Goodman?
I'll check.
[computer beeps]
We do, but I see that he's out.
Oh.
Well, um, he left this
in the store where I work.
- Do you think you could give it to him?
- Certainly.
Would you care to leave
your name or number...
No, thank you.
[telephone rings]
Front desk, Victor.
Hello?
[man in middle eastern accent]
Special delivery, room 81?
[Victor] Special delivery
has not yet arrived.
[man] Yes, special delivery.
Room 81?
[Victor] special delivery
has not yet arrived.
It's not here.
- Special delivery is not here...
- [man] It must be here.
Not arrived? Are you sure?
Bye. Bye-bye.
Thank you. Yes.
- [Carter] Ten thirty-one.
- [Victor] Ten thirty-one.
- [Victor] Mr. Goodman?
- [Carter] That's right.
- [Victor] No messages.
- [Carter] All right.
[Victor] Oh, a young woman
returned your wallet, sir.
- [Carter] Pardon me?
- [Victor] She said she found it
in the store where she works.
[Carter] Oh, yeah.
Great, thanks.
[suspenseful music plays]
[doorbell chimes]
[woman] Mr. Goodman, how are you?
- How are you?
- Come on in.
[laughter in distance]
[car door opens]
[horn blares]
Excuse me.
I'm sorry to bother you.
I was just wondering if you
could let me into my room.
My dumb husband
has locked me out.
Which room?
Ten thirty-one, Goodman.
Well...
okay.
Thank you so much.
I didn't know what I was gonna do.
Thanks a lot.
- Okay.
- [door shuts]
[sighs]
[Patty whispering] Oh, God!
Oh!
[gasps]
Goddamn son of a bitch!
Ohh!
Ohh! Ohh!
Goddamn motherfucker!
[knock on door]
Is everything okay?
[Patty] Yes.
[telephone rings]
Hello?
[Patty] Oh, good.
I am so glad you're home.
You're not.
Where are you?
- You went after him, didn't you?
- [Patty] Absolutely!
Look, I don't have much time.
And I need you to help me, okay?
Call and cancel
all your credit cards.
Hayes is using duplicates
- with your name on them.
- [Drake sighs] Great!
Then, call the bank and put a hold
on our checking account.
- [Drake] Why?
- There's a 24-hour hot line.
I think the number's on top of...
[Drake] On top of the last bank statement,
I know...what are you doing?
Something that's gonna make us
feel really good.
- [Drake] Well, be careful.
- I'll be back tonight, bye.
[room service]
Hello! Room service.
- Hi, this is Mrs. Goodman in room 1031.
- [room service] Yes?
Yeah, my husband and I
would like to have a small
dinner party up here tonight
and charge it to the room.
[room service] Of course.
What would you like?
Um, let's see.
I'd like to have vichyssoise...
- [room service] The vichyssoise.
- ...and Caesar salad...
- [room service] The caesar salad.
- ...and filet mignon.
Oh, and what do you have
for dessert? Do you have...
- Do you have Crme Brle?
- [room service] Of course, we do!
- Yes, with raspberry sauce.
- Oh, that sounds really good.
[room service] Yes, very good.
What beverage would you like?
[Patty] We'll need a full bar
and um, coffee with the dessert.
[room service] Of course,
and how many people is this for?
[Patty] Eighteen.
- [room service] Eighteen? Very good.
- [Patty] M-hmm.
- [Patty] And how long will that be?
- [room service] At least two hours.
[Patty] Two hours?
Can you put a rush on it?
- [room service] Oh, we try, we try, yes.
- [Patty] Great!
By the way,
it's our anniversary today
and my husband would
like to send a bottle of champagne
to everybody staying
on the tenth floor.
[room service]
Everyone on the tenth floor?
- Hmm.
- [room service] That's very generous.
Well, that's the kind of man
that he is.
Thank you.
- Good evening, Victor.
- [Victor] Good evening, Mr. Goodman.
- Any messages?
- Ten thirty-one
No messages.
Mr. Goodman.
May I please
have a word with you?
I'm sorry to trouble you, sir,
But we seem to be having a problem
with your credit card.
Really?
What kind of a problem?
This is lieutenant Palmer
from the San Francisco
police department.
- [man] Yes ma'm, can I help you?
- Mm-hmm.
I was wondering if you leased
a black Cadillac coupe De ville
with the license plate number
2PET764.
- [man] 2PET764.
- [Patty] to a man named Drake Goodman.
[man] Let me check.
Yes, we did.
- [Patty] You did?
- [man] Why?
[Patty] Well, there are some things
that I think,
you might be interested in knowing.
Well listen, why don't I write you a check
to take care of things
until we get this straightened out?
I don't...uh, that wouldn't
be acceptable. I'm sorry.
We called your bank
as a backup, you know.
- Yeah.
- They said your account has been frozen.
[Patty] Yes, I'd like to report
some stolen traveler's checks
- [woman] Lost or stolen?
- No, no, my husband
- is certain that they've been stolen.
- [woman] Stolen?
Mm-hmm, all 30 of them.
Well, I assume you got the necessary
approval when I checked in!
Well, yes, but when a customer charges
over $100 to their room,
we generally run a card again
for approval
and that's when
we discovered the problem.
Right, except I didn't charge
anything to my room.
It's probably a clerical error
on their part.
But we have to look out
for ourselves.
- You understand?
- I didn't charge anything to my room!
Well, maybe it was your wife.
My what?
[telephone rings]
[suspenseful music plays]
[manager] Mr. Goodman?
Excuse me...
- Mr. Goodman?
- Not now!
Taxi!
- [man] Good evening, ma'am.
- [indistinct chatter]
[manager] Mr. Goodman!
The hotel has very strict policy
in this matter!
We will...I assure you.
We will take steps immediately!
Mr. Goodman,
we will call the police!
[cars honking]
- [man] Get off the street!
- [car honks]
[tires screech]
They're lying.
These people
are completely pathological.
They took a half a year's rent from me
and they said I never paid them.
They evicted me,
they slandered me,
they totally destroyed my credit.
They physically assaulted me.
They threatened my life.
And now this.
These people are parasites.
Florence. [sighs]
I am so sorry...
that you were even touched
by any of this.
Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed.
When I first met you,
I was enchanted and I...
I was dazzled.
I'm sorry.
No, It's not like
I can't prove they're lying.
I gotta prove, they're lying.
It's gonna take a little time.
[sighs]
I'll have to take them
to court, I guess,
but for right now it's my word
against theirs, isn't it?
[Carter] I don't know
what these people want.
You know that if they
hadn't tied up my trust,
I would never ask you
for anything.
But if the bail isn't paid,
I can't get out of here,
and I cannot prove to you, Sir.
What I hope Florence
already knows in her heart.
At least I would hope that you know.
Look...
I'm just asking you to do...
whatever it is your heart
tells you to do.
[door shuts]
[nail gun sputters]
Oh, not again.
[grunts]
TV 20
[David] And now one of the most unusual
buys you will ever see.
A 6-piece, faux pony fur desk set.
And we have a caller right now.
Hi, who am I speaking to?
[Mary] Dav...hi, this is Mary.
[David] Oh, hi, Mary.
Where are you calling from?
- [Mary] I'm calling from Santa Fe.
- [David] Santa Fe.
Oh, this desk set is perfect
for you, isn't it?
[Mary] David, I just love this,
so I got three.
- [David] You got three?
- [Mary] I got three...
- Oh, you got a great buy on these.
- [Mary] I know.
[David] And, you know, they're only
$54 right now.
[Mary] I know. [chuckles]
- Isn't this unbelievable?
- [Mary] Yeah.
And I have varicose veins
and I hate to shop at malls.
- I really, I mean this is perfect.
- Oh, yeah.
I just...I can pull out my visa,
dial the phone.
It's great, David.
[David] Well, Mary you just prop up
your feet and relax
and enjoy yourself
and keep on shopping.
[channel changes]
[man] Okay, you guys,
stay here and keep me covered.
[guns cock]
[shouting]
["Hands all over" by Soundgarden plays]
Hands all over
The eastern border
You know what?
I think we're falling
From composure...
[cat meows in distance]
Kitty?
[meows]
[meows]
Kitty?
Kitty?
[rustling]
[Patty] Kitty?
- [object falling]
- [gasps]
Kitty?
[screams]
[meows]
Put your hands away
Yeah, put your hands away...
- [Patty] Kitty.
- [meows]
[groans]
Kitty, you bad cat!
Where have you been?
Oh, you scared me to death
down there.
Kitty, kitty!
Kitty.
Kitty?
[meows]
[screams]
You crossed the line.
You were in my room.
You were in my private things.
- [grunting]
- [groans]
You and your boyfriend...
[scoffs]
you insulted my intelligence.
You got into my area.
What are you doing?
[grunting]
[Patty screaming] No!
[grunts]
How am I gonna make
a living now?
What am I gonna tell
my family, huh?
[gunshot]
Did you know that
half of all homicide victims
are killed with their own handguns?
- Did you know that?
- [gun cocks]
No, don't!
- [Patty] No!
- [sobbing]
No!
[grunts]
[Carter] What am I gonna do
with you, Patty?
Huh?
What are you
making me do here?
Don't you know
I have responsibilities, huh?
I've got people. I've got my brother.
I mean, I've got a lot
of people who depend on me.
Then you come along.
I mean,
what was the point?
- [thud]
- [screaming]
[growls]
[Carter] How did it feel, huh Patty?
- Did it feel good?
- No!
[Carter] Is that it? When you were
in my private things,
- spying on me. It felt good, didn't it?
- No!
- Yes, it did.
- [Patty] No.
You crossed the line
and it felt good.
No!
[sobbing] no!
- You're lying!
- [nail gun clicks]
- [screams]
- [thud]
[Patty screaming] Help me!
Help me!
- [screams]
- [grunts]
[Patty grunts] No!
No!
[both grunting]
[groans]
[gasps]
No!
[grunts]
[sobbing]
[grunting]
Oh! Oh! Oh!
[grunts]
Oh! Oh!
[Patty] Oh!
[gasps]
[Patty] It's a Victorian.
It was built in 1883.
Somebody remodeled it
in the '40s,
but we tried to restore it
back to its original state
the best that we could.
- Oh, you did all the work yourself?
- Yeah, most of it.
Do you know how hard it is
to find packing boxes?
- Hi.
- [woman] Hi.
I actually had to buy these.
[Patty] Honey. This is Drake.
This is Bill and Amy.
- Nice to meet you, Bill.
- Hi, Amy, nice to meet you.
We were just telling Patty
how impressed we are
- with all the work you've done.
- Yeah.
Thank you.
So, do you wanna buy the place?
[Bill laughs] No!
It's a little more money
than we thought of originally,
- but it's great.
- [Patty] Well, you know,
you've got the rental units
to help make the mortgage.
[Bill] Yeah, we'd sure need it.
Oh honey, look at these floors,
they're gorgeous!
- Hmm.
- [Patty] Yeah.
We, uh, just had them refinished.
- Refinished them.
- [scoffs]
- Oh!
- Beautiful.
- Yeah.
- [Drake] Well, thank you.
Why don't we leave you alone
to talk and...
we'll be right upstairs
if you need us, packing. Okay?
- It was nice meeting you.
- [Bill] Yeah.
- [Amy] Patty?
- Yeah?
Do you mind if I ask you
why you're selling?
I mean, you've done so much
to this place.
You obviously
put your heart in it.
No, not really.
It...it was just an investment.
[Bill] I know you love it,
But we're talking about $900,000.
[Amy] I bet we can offer them
850 or 825.
[Bill sarcastically]
Oh, oh, that's all. Okay.
- Umm.
- [both scoff]
What if we don't qualify
for a bank loan?
We will!
The first thing I'm gonna do
is take these curtains off these windows.
Can we talk about
the purchase price
before you redesign
the entire place?
[Amy] Oh, I just have so many ideas.
[Bill clears throat]
[Amy] It'll be okay.
[Bill] It'll be okay, huh?
[chuckling] Well, as long as you say so.
[Amy] I know so.