1
The bride is now cutting
herself a piece of cake.
Next year the groom will
cut himself a piece of neck.
Old Jay Hogarth is a good old soul.
Old Jay Hogarth is a good old soul.
Speech.
Speech.
Quiet please, quiet please.
Quiet, quiet, quiet.
Someone called for a speech.
What's that got to do with you?
I'm the best man.
The best-man always wins.
That's why I'm a bachelor.
Forgive them. They know
not what they're up against.
Now that this couple have entered into
a state of coma - I mean matrimony.
I would like to have them tell us
what they intend to do about it.
Well, not that it's anybody's business.
Especially the worst
best-man I ever saw.
But Laura and I are going to be
the most modern couple imaginable.
We intend to retain our
separate individualities.
That's a good trick
even if you don't do it.
And you?
We intend to take marriage
apart and see what makes it tick.
For the benefit of the less intelligent
among you .. I will translate.
Nevertheless, I will translate.
This is a marriage of advanced ideas.
A bigger and better matrimony.
There will be individual latchkeys,
toothbrushes and telephones.
But, there will be community gin.
Now that you have heard
both sides of this argument.
Your applause will determine the winner.
Now suppose you sit down and
give those brains of yours a rest.
The best man will give the
floor to a better best man.
Laura darling, hadn't
you better be on your way?
Yes, mother.
A good idea.
I allow my wife.
All liberties. But I do not
wish her to associate ..
With hoodlums, scoffers and whatnots.
Mister, whatnots to you!
Oh .. Mrs Hogarth.
Yes, mister Hogarth?
I'm afraid our wedding was
a big success. Yes.
It interested me more than any
wedding I've been to in ages.
Do you love me?
So much that I'm scared.
Happy?
Sort of floating .. delirious.
I'm so happy.
We'll have the longest
honeymoon in captivity.
Break.
Isn't it wonderful when two
great intellects like these unite?
Oh, go to ..
Naughty, naughty.
Come on, girls.
Say Jay, where is that little red book
of yours with all the telephone numbers?
Now you know I never had any ..
Don't give me that.
I'll be big-hearted. I'll let you
use it whenever you want to.
And what's more, I'll add
a few numbers myself.
Where is mother?
She didn't seem exactly pleased
with the way you were being razzed.
That kind of a spat wasn't a bit funny.
It seems to me the honors
went to you and Jay.
Perhaps I haven't done some solid
thinking on this marriage subject.
Do you mind if I give you
one little piece of advice?
Go ahead if you like.
Just one little crack?
Shoot.
Well then ..
Whether you believe it or not.
Pretend to yourself that
marriages are made in heaven.
Hang on to your husband.
Even when you think
you are a fool to do it.
Is that how you think a wife should be?
That's how I think love should be.
Oh for heaven's sake, Kate.
I'll shut up now.
Well, what's up?
I think she's been going batty lately.
Come on, get out.
Mary.
Jay.
Yes?
Can you come in.
Right away.
Well mother, you can relax.
I'm off your hands.
Well, I hope so.
Especially after all that twaddle
about the modern ideas of marriage.
People may sneer at
marriage and its restrictions.
But nobody yet has ever found
a satisfactory substitute for it.
You talk as if Jay and I aren't serious.
How long have we planned
our marriage, darling?
Why, ever since we were kids.
I want you two to get all the
happiness you can out of life.
And that's not easy.
With all these crazy ideas
about "separate individualities".
Mother .. your worries
are over right now.
Get ready. Here they come.
Goodbye, children.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do, Laura.
Better go to Reno for your
honeymoon. It saves a trip.
Good luck!
There they go, Kate.
Come here .. I've got a message for you.
Whisper away.
Did you get my message?
I got it.
What's funny?
Your face.
Granted. But it never moved
you to raucous laughter before.
Oh no?
Well, take a look.
So I've married an
old lip-rouge spreader.
Maybe I should have
worn a baseball mask.
You must have a skin
lip-rouge loves to touch.
Better tall all your
women to be careful.
There. All traces of the crime removed.
Beg pardon.
Huh?
You-all want your berth made up?
Huh?
Oh .. alright.
He said Yes.
Oh, it's been heavenly here with you.
I never want to leave.
Why talk about leaving?
Well, we have to soon.
I have a wife to support.
But it's been such a short time.
It's been a whole month.
So the door of paradise opens.
And off we go.
It's your Mama phoning
from long distance.
Hello, mother.
Hello.
How are you and Jay getting on?
You haven't written me lately.
We're fine.
But we both have little colds .. uhuh.
I will.
And mother. Guess what?
I'm cooking my last dinner.
Now what?
Oh don't be alarmed.
It's only that I've got a job.
I mean, a position.
Really. Jay got it for me.
I'm a reader in a swell,
elegant publishing house.
I start Monday. Isn't it great?
Well if you really crave my
opinion, I think it's ridiculous.
Your job is to run Jay's home.
And keep him purring with contentment.
You ought to know that,
even if he doesn't.
Now don't be such a wet blanket.
Where are my grandchildren coming from?
A desk?
But darling, you don't understand.
I understand perfectly.
That you need a job just about
as much as I need roller-skates.
Guess who's dining with us tonight?
Kate Steinhart.
Yes. She's taken an apartment
in New York for the winter.
I ran across her shopping today.
Mother. Married life is glorious.
Yes, I will.
I'll write soon.
Goodbye, mother.
Mother called up to see
how I liked housekeeping.
I told her I was going to work.
But you don't need a job.
It gets lonesome without
anything to do all day.
Come on, help me set the table.
Give me.
So you are resolved to have
two careers in the family, eh?
No slaves to marriage around here.
What did you marry for?
You would be surprised.
Love.
I would stay home and work at that.
It's risky leaving love at
home to take care of itself.
You think so?
Well, let me tell you something.
Ours is husky.
Even so.
Uhoh.
Love can always use nourishment.
There is plenty of that.
Is there?
You at your office .. Jay at his?
You come home and Jay is not here.
He comes home, you're not here.
What do you do when you're jealous?
We're not that primitive.
That means that ..
Jay may run around with other women?
And you with other men?
Well, why not?
We won't exactly lose control, you know.
It's a good trick, if you can do it.
Oh rats.
You think marriage was made
perfect in the dark ages.
Well, Jay and I don't. That's all.
You try to make yourselves believe that
you are a pair of young sophisticates.
Some day you might find out.
Alright.
Here comes the old man now.
Tell him.
I'm through.
Hello, sweet.
How are you, darling?
Who do you think is here?
Who? Look.
Why, Kate.
Hello, Jay.
Good to see you.
Good to see you.
Down for long?
Most of the winter.
That's great. We'll see a lot of you.
I hope so.
Hmm .. do I hear the tinkle of ice?
Cocktails will be ready
when you've been washed.
Come on.
I'll be right back, Kate.
That girl is a scream.
She always was.
She's judging about us now.
What do you think she's been saying?
Never mind.
Miss me today?
Hmm.
A little.
Only a little?
A whole lot then.
I wish we were dining alone tonight.
But Jay you see, I just had to ..
Hello.
Oh, wait a minute.
Don't tear it. Let me do it.
Maybe it is symbolic.
There. No damage done.
You could catch a lot
of fish with that hook.
Well, I'm good bait.
You're telling me?
I bit.
I think I'll slip one now. I need it.
Yes ma'am, I needs it myself
when I got the miseries.
[ Laughter ]
Well .. here is luck.
Come in.
Hello Laura. Could you just hold on.
Just a moment, please.
Now Mrs Hogarth, what have we?
I've found two stories that might do.
Great.
By the way.
Do you mind if I call you Laura?
"Mrs Hogarth" is such a
long name for the office.
I guess there is no objection.
Thanks.
And by the way, your work
has been very satisfactory.
I think you have a special
facility for finding good stories.
I'm so glad.
Now I have some news
for you not quite so pleasant.
Oh?
It is rather pleasant
news for me, however.
We are just entering our busy season.
That means that I must
come here and work nights.
I've picked you to help me.
Oh, I shan't mind a bit.
I love the work.
It will be rather late sometimes.
I hope your husband won't feel upset.
Oh my, no. You see, Jay is
busy at his office until midnight.
And ours .. is a modern marriage.
Oh.
He'll be glad to know
I've got something to do.
But tell him I'll see to
you getting home safely.
I am used to going about alone.
Well, we won't send you home hungry.
We'll have a little supper served
here. For a bite on the way home.
It will be rather fun, won't it.
I know it will for me.
Where do you lunch, by the way?
Oh usually down at the coffee shop.
I know a quiet place where we can
discuss business and not be disturbed.
Let's go there. By all means.
Fine.
There is one reader I didn't
think the boss could read.
Looks like he's going
in for night work again.
That owl gets his best work in at night.
Yes, I've heard of this Canfield woman.
Talks about children and home stuff.
Well, if you think an old
hen like that is good enough.
Sure. We've got to fill that hour.
Mrs Canfield is here.
She's here.
I'll have lunch with you in
about ten minutes. Goodbye.
Show the old girl in.
Mrs Canfield?
The old girl herself.
That transom.
Isn't exactly discreet.
Well, now that I've seen
you, Mrs Canfield.
Don't apologise.
Just close the transom.
Huh?
Oh yes.
Married?
Why, yes.
Then you should have
that transom nailed shut.
There are more ways than one
of holding the home together.
Mrs Canfield.
We'd like you to give a series of
broadcasts for one of our clients.
I see.
I haven't made up my
mind how much to ask.
Oh, I think we can come to terms.
I warn you, I'm a very
expensive old woman.
Mrs Canfield, be merciful.
You know, I missed my breakfast
and I'm in a bad humor.
If I had some lunch, I might
be more amenable to reason.
Well then, for heaven's sakes
let me take you to lunch.
Righto.
I know a quiet place where we can
discuss business without being ..
Disturbed.
So, let's go there. By all means.
Fine.
Why, it's nearly midnight.
We should get extra pay for this.
I've waded through six manuscripts.
Did you find anything?
Tripe.
But Loxford usually sends in good stuff.
Nah.
The boss liked his last story.
In this the heroine breaks her heart as
her husband plays golf with other women.
That's human.
Is she jealous?
It isn't being done any more.
No?
I always seem to be amusing you.
No. Not at all.
Van Dyke 2466.
I'll drop you home.
That will be splendid.
No Lord and master home yet.
Well, well.
Jay's company has made him responsible
for the success of its radio advertising.
So of course he has to be
at the station every night.
And I imagine I will have to feed you.
It's likely. I'm famished.
Throw in a dance?
I'm only dressed for a dump.
Make it a dump.
What station does your husband work for?
WXV?
Hmm. WXV.
[ Radio: ]
"She needs no introduction."
"Mrs Canfield is one of our
leading women novelists."
"Most of you in Radioland no doubt .."
"Have read some or all of her books."
"Mrs Canfield will address you
tonight on the ideals of home life."
"The ideal home,
friends of Radioland .."
"Is a subject dearest to my heart."
"I am speaking of the good
old-fashioned home."
"Not the apology for
that noble institution .."
"Into which it has degenerated today."
"But the kind of home that our
fathers and mothers knew."
"Its influence transcends all
others upon human welfare."
For while the home stands,
the country stands.
And when the home crumbles.
The very foundation of our
country becomes as quicksand.
Bee has made a lot of
money out of that stuff.
Know her?
Why, I guess everybody
knows Bee Canfield.
Oh.
What's her own home like?
Oh ashtrays .. tiger rugs.
If you like taking your shoes off and
walking through the rugs in bare feet.
Soothing?
I can't remember.
Is she good-looking?
She manages to be.
It must be why Jay thought
she was a great author.
Does he?
He always picks out the best.
Nobody home.
Come right in, Mrs Canfield.
You sure your wife won't ..
Oh, you must stay and meet Laura.
She won't be long.
The pleasure will be worth the risk.
There is no risk.
No?
No .. Laura is a good sport.
Perhaps then, I am fortunate.
How?
She allows you to have friends?
Why, of course.
Friends I mean, who ..
Perhaps hold no interest for her?
We agreed to all that
before we were married.
You were wise.
Do you think so?
You still have my cigarette.
My .. public utterances.
And my private conviction ..
Are very different.
Yes. I rather gathered
that tonight at supper.
That reminds me.
Shall we lift one?
I'm in your hands completely.
I shan't be a minute.
Oh, Jay.
Must I wait alone?
Why ..
Well, why I get a tray of ice.
You are much to interesting to
be spared. Shall I help you?
That's great.
Ooh .. what a dark kitchen.
Are you afraid of the dark?
No.
Perhaps I'd better switch on the light.
Well, here we are.
Jay is home.
Ah, we have a guest.
It's Mrs Canfield.
Really?
Oh, Jay.
Hello dear.
Hello, Jay.
Mrs Canfield is here.
That's fine.
I felt a new cold coming on .. so I ..
I thought a little nip might ..
Well, you now, we're cracking ice.
Keeping the home fires burning, eh?
Crack enough for four, will you.
You bet.
Hello Purcell.
How are you?
Laura, would you ..
Of course.
Mrs Canfield brought me home in her car.
Nice of her.
What's the matter?
Ice dust.
We stopped and had a little bite.
And a little dance.
You've been eating ice, too.
What do you mean?
Go in the bathroom
and look in the glass.
I'll introduce myself.
Come along, Horace.
Pardon.
How do you do, Mrs Canfield?
I am Mrs Hogarth.
Oh indeed?
Jay went to pay off the cab.
I've been looking
forward to our meeting.
Oh, what shall I do?
Indelible?
My own concoction. Try some?
What an adorable shade.
You're dispensing it?
Why, no. Not commercially.
Just to a few intimate friends.
It's downright wasteful, spreading
lip-rouge around like this for nothing.
What's that?
The red badge of innocence.
You men should always
wear one as a precaution.
Maybe.
Why Horace, you dear.
I've been pining to
talk to you for weeks.
Supposing you take Mrs Canfield
in the other room?
Oh, may he?
I'll make a try at the ice.
We've a thousand things to talk over.
Shouldn't I be helping you?
You will be.
What have you been up to?
She is such an inopportune creature.
Aren't most wives of your acquaintance?
I've been having better luck lately.
Congratulations.
She doesn't mean to let me be
comfortable here. Can't we run along?
We?
I have my car.
I have my car .. and my principles.
Don't be silly.
You can't afford to keep either.
Listen, Bee.
I'm not in love with you anymore.
That's an improvement.
It won't be so hard getting rid of you.
If we had realised the hour,
we wouldn't have let you do this.
Don't you think we all need one?
I do. I froze in that cab.
The proper thing would have been
to share my rack with you.
Why didn't we think of that?
I'm dropping Horace home
in my car. It's warmer.
Oh, isn't your husband having one?
Oh, he's big-hearted.
He's sending your cab away.
Good luck.
Try cold cream.
Why in the world does a woman of
that sort have to use indelible stuff?
Shush Laura. They'll hear you.
They've gone, dear.
What for?
She seemed rather anxious to
try Horace out in her new car.
She is ravenous.
A new cigarette case?
May I?
Oooh.
Oh they are Bee's. Mrs Canfield's.
She must have forgotten them.
It looks as though New York
is getting to you.
Now Laura, I hope you
didn't say anything to her.
Darling, I was charming to her.
I knew she was a big bug
on your radio program.
What else could you do but submit?
Now don't talk like that. It was ..
It was all a joke. It meant nothing.
You're placing the importance on it.
No I'm not. But we were here alone ..
I know.
Catching a new cold.
On such occasions, such
things have to happen.
I know that, too.
So you do.
We are both exposed to
the same things, aren't we.
Let's be generous Jay, huh?
Anybody else?
Another one?
No?
It's certainly done my
cold a lot of good.
If you don't ease up on that stuff you
will be back again on your cream toast.
Don't you believe it.
I've got a 1931 digestion.
Guaranteed to take a pound of bicarbonate
of soda a day without melting.
That was a great squash pie.
Where did you buy it?
It wasn't bought, Mr Hogarth.
Somebody made a pie like that?
Kate baked it at home
and brought it here.
I've read about women
like you in history.
That's all I can do.
Can you remember the gas bill?
Hmm. I'm even old-fashioned
enough for that.
Old-fashioned? Ha.
You're years ahead of us.
Oh, Horace.
Can you before home for seven
o'clock dinner before nine?
I'm a bachelor.
What's that, a different
kind of husband?
[ Doorbell ]
Excuse me.
Hello. This is Mrs Hogarth's
husband speaking.
Do you want to talk to
a guy named Renard?
Oh yes, indeed.
Don't tell her I'm here,
but make sure he comes.
Thanks.
Hello Mr Renard. I think
your article was splendid.
I sent it right up to the editor.
I'm sure he'll buy it.
I don't give a hoot
if he buys it or not.
If he'll just read it and
learn something about art.
He can stick it in the waste
basket with my compliments.
Listen.
I'm throwing a party.
And we are in dire need
of beautiful women.
I think you might do.
Oh, I don't know.
Who are there?
No-one you'd know.
Interesting people.
I'm sure of that. Just a moment please.
Henri Renard wants us to
go to a party at his studio.
Who is Renard?
I met him at the office.
He writes articles for
one of our magazines.
And besides that, he's
one of our greatest artists.
Well, if he doesn't use
turpentine in his Scotch, let's go.
But I worked every night
at the office this week.
Oh yes?
You should drop around and see us work.
Thank you. I have a perfect
little office of my own.
That is indispensable.
Shall we, or shall we
not go? I'd rather not.
If Jay wants celebrities for his
program, there will be plenty there.
You point them out to me.
Will you make your simple minds up?
Henri.
In about an hour.
Yes, there will be four of us.
Goodbye.
Ah .. cocktails.
Come again.
Here you are.
Thank you.
Now, you big bad man.
Tell me why you haven't called me up.
I've had a rotten cold.
A couple of rotten colds.
One right on top of the other.
When you didn't call up I
was sure your wife objected.
Oh .. of course not.
Not after discovering
that rouge on your lip?
Never said a word. Just ..
"Use cold-cream".
Just like that. Naturally.
How splendid.
Men like you are so rare.
You're a writer. You ought to know.
Oh, I do.
I like the way your head is
stuck on your shoulders.
Apropos of what?
Get up.
I am going to paint you.
Oh you are?
We'll start Wednesday.
Oh, no we'll not.
Why not?
I'll pay you what you would
make in the book trade.
You are only cluttering it up anyhow.
But .. when I put you on a canvas .. ah.
I will make the world think the
model was a real woman.
You'll ..?
I will put some soul
where the soap dust is.
And those lovely oyster eyes.
Oyster eyes?
With my brush, I will open them.
If you are through insulting me.
Where's, Jay?
What's happened?
That beast there.
Oh. Don't mind him, Laura.
Nobody takes Renard seriously.
A little nutty.
Did you get his cloak?
Well, I'm going home.
Have you seen Jay?
Why yes, he's in there.
Thanks.
He's with Canfield.
Oh.
I can't meet that creature.
Would you call him please?
Laura wants to go, Jay.
Oh, my cold.
Why?
You'd better talk to her.
I'll be right back, Mrs Canfield.
If not, why where shall we ..?
I'll be right back.
Fish not biting tonight?
She's furious, I suppose.
Not about you.
Why, what's the rush?
Renard was rude to me.
What did he say?
Laura doesn't know Renard.
He didn't mean anything.
Of course not.
I tell you I can't stay here.
Lets get our wraps.
I know what's the matter.
She's jealous because I was
talking to poor Mrs Canfield.
Oh, is that it?
Supposing I got fussy about
some of your friends?
Well, if poor Mrs Canfield needs you ..
Of course we'll wait.
Come, Horace. I think I'd
like some more punch.
Oh Laura, please.
Well .. here's to a big night.
Laura.
I want to talk to you.
Well?
Get Jay away from that woman.
I wouldn't think of it.
Don't you love him?
Under certain conditions.
Don't you want to keep Jay?
Oh, don't be dramatic.
Aren't you going to fight for him?
People don't do such things.
Alright then.
If you won't, I will.
Well?
Here is to .. us.
Take me out in the garden.
It's awfully hot in here.
Hello, you two.
Have you a cigarette, Jay?
I'm sorry Kate, but this is my last one.
Oh dear .. do I have to
send you hunting one?
Try mine.
Thank you.
You don't mind if I sit here
and smoke it, do you?
Make yourself at home.
Always the perfect host.
I've never seen one like this before.
I have them sent from Arabia.
Really?
I lived there, two years.
I suppose one does bring home some of
the oriental customs without thinking.
Some of the pleasanter ones.
I suppose even the poor old
whites' habits might change?
In a modified form.
Oh, you've travelled there?
I intend to.
Soon?
All depends.
How about a light, Jay?
Oh, excuse me.
Thanks. I think I'll be trotting along.
Oh ..
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Were you insulting her?
Polite insults are all the rage.
And she has brains.
Kate.
I didn't know you had it in you.
Sit down.
You've never made a
very deep study of me.
That's great. Old Kate.
Say .. you're an open book.
You've been reading
lighter stuff, haven't you.
My error.
Don't do that.
Why not?
You've been drinking too much.
You ought to have a drink.
You've had enough for both of us.
Too bad we aren't back at the
little old office working tonight.
All this wouldn't have happened.
If it's coming, it's coming.
It will clear up in the
morning. Worst luck.
I wonder.
I wish I could help you.
I'm afraid you can't.
I could if you'd let me.
How am I supposed to take that?
Take me instead.
I'll take you.
But not seriously.
Your husband doesn't seem to be
taking you very seriously tonight.
Tonight? Only tonight?
Let's change the subject.
But it isn't as if he gets ..
How about getting me some punch?
I'm thirsty.
I'm hungry.
Get yourself a sandwich with the punch.
What was that?
Mon dieu!
My priceless jewel.
Out!
Connait .. out.
All of you, get out!
Get out.
Get out.
Out!
Out .. out!
Looks like the party is over.
Get out! You too! Get out!
Go away!
Never come back.
Say, that's my hat!
It's mine.
My initials are here.
It's my hat!
Where is Laura?
They must have gone.
Didn't want to wait, huh.
Come on, Kate.
Ha!
Oh.
I take back what I said.
I am not going to paint you.
No?
No.
Where is Jay?
They must have gone.
Oh, Jay.
I wonder if he heard me.
Does it matter?
Not particularly.
Why not go to my apartment?
I have coffee.
Why not?
Oh no, no, Jay. Goodnight.
Keep the change.
Goodnight.
I've got to see you safely to your door.
No Jay, please.
I've got to telephone for another cab.
[ Telephone ]
Not yet.
The maid comes in in half an hour.
I'd better be getting off.
I hate to see you go back there.
I can't stay out all
day in these clothes.
You know what I mean. He's been rotten.
I've had a pretty narrow
escape from that myself.
But you've been terribly
sweet about it all.
Because I love you.
It's a pity I don't love you.
It might have simplified everything.
But I do like you immensely.
What's going to happen when you meet?
It may be a day or so before we do.
I'm going home to change and
then straight to the office.
Tonight I'm going to Albany
on the copyright case.
They are sending me, too.
I know it.
I'm going by boat.
I know that too.
I was going by train.
So as not to upset Jay.
Is that necessary now?
It wouldn't seem so.
Then what do you say?
Haven't I proved to you tonight ..
I'm not thinking of that.
But if I should go by
boat .. I shall tell Jay.
That suits me.
Now, if you give me
one last cup of coffee.
I'll go home.
Good morning.
Oh, good morning.
Ain't Mrs Hogarth with you?
She'll be here later.
We stopped with friends.
Will you have breakfast
or is you already ate?
Just orange juice.
Yes, sir.
I got some tomato juice if you
think that will make you feel better.
No thank you.
Suit yourself.
Where have you been?
You got here first. Suppose you start.
I was right here ..
Not much use for that, is there.
If it helps you to remember,
I saw you drive off with Kate.
Didn't you do something like that?
Yes.
So far, it's even.
Well .. what happened next?
Oh ..
What's the use of talking about it?
We're both in the same fix.
That's an admission, I suppose?
It was our agreement to tell the truth.
Thanks for sticking to it.
But don't blame Kate.
It was all my fault.
Let's leave Kate out of it.
I'll not leave Purcell out of it.
You've nothing against him.
No?
Do you think I'd be afraid
to tell you the truth?
Weren't you in Purcell's apartment?
Yes.
But there is nothing else to tell you.
We drank many cups
of coffee until morning.
I'm beginning to feel them a bit now.
Won't you be late for the office?
I'm just going.
I'm terribly sorry, Laura.
I took a few drinks for
my cold .. and got drunk.
That's three of four
colds you've had lately.
Well anyway, I had too much.
I didn't know what I was doing.
You drink much too much.
I know it.
It's just one of those things.
And it might have happened to anybody.
Well, I'm off the liquor.
So I won't make that break again.
That's all it amounts to, you think?
Well, we're not children, we know life.
It's an unfortunate occurrence, but ..
Well ..
I guess the best thing to do is
just laugh at it and forget it.
I see.
We're too sensible to let
it smash up our home.
So the best thing to do is ..
Laugh at it.
Well not exactly, but don't
let's make a tragedy of it.
No. We shouldn't do that.
We must have a scathing sense of humor.
Yeah, that's the stuff.
Aren't you going to work?
I'll say.
Listen, I have to step
on it. Goodbye, dear.
So long.
Lucky we're civilised.
Yes, isn't it.
Mary.
Yes, Mr Hogarth?
Where is my wife?
Why she went to Albany
on that business trip.
Oh, I'd forgotten.
What train?
Oh they took the boat.
They? Who?
Why, Mr Purcell. He called for her.
I see.
Dinner will be ready in a half an hour.
Sorry, I'm going out.
Oh.
The boat is stopping, isn't it?
Newburgh, I think.
I'm going to my room.
Losing your nerve?
Only on your account.
I've no excuse for squawking.
Whatever happens.
I'm only asking that
you remember that ..
I love you.
But doesn't this prove how I feel?
I'm only doing it to hurt Jay.
Because I love him.
Oh, it isn't fair to you.
I'll go.
No, no. Sit down.
An outside stateroom, please.
Yes, sir.
That will be a dollar nineteen, sir.
Name?
John Stevenson.
[ Door knocks ]
Open up. Open this door.
I don't think violence will do any good.
What have you to say for yourself?
At least I had the decency not
to break in on your adventure.
You didn't care enough.
I suppose you do?
You asked me to laugh, this morning.
It's not so easy to laugh.
Is it, Jay?
The lady isn't .. worth it.
I suppose that's the end.
Do you remember the
line in Wilde's poem?
"We always kill the thing we love."
Goodnight.
[ Doorbell ]
Hello, Jay.
Oh .. where did you come from?
You haven't called me or
anything, have you?
I've been terribly busy lately, Kate.
That's good.
Going to ask me in?
But of course.
Oh I've been doing without
a maid. Not in much.
Why, you've been here
night after night alone.
I've passed the house.
I didn't come in, because
you haven't called me up.
I would have been glad to see you.
This came this morning.
Stopping a women's hotel, huh?
Yes.
And she left the firm.
Purcell still there?
I don't know.
Seen Laura?
How could I?
I want you to get one thing
out of your head, Kate.
You're not responsible for our
breaking up and that's the truth.
It was ..
Well, something else.
We must never talk of it again.
Mind if I take off my hat?
May I offer you something?
No thanks.
But pitch in and clean this place up.
That isn't necessary.
No?
Any more use for these souvenirs?
Please Kate, don't bother.
Oh, no fuss at all.
Good morning.
When did you come?
About 15 minutes ago.
I'll give your door a
kick tomorrow morning.
So we'll time things better.
How did you get in?
I found a spare key last night.
Excuse me.
My dear girl.
Here is your orange juice.
But my dear.
Take it to the table and sit down.
But ..
Go on and sit down.
Go on.
But ..
Sit down.
Kate, I can't let you do this.
Why not?
Afraid of me?
I'm not after you.
Just fattening you up.
I've never tried fattening
anyone up before.
It's fun.
I can't repay you.
Take me to a nightclub once in a while.
You will find I'm poor company.
I don't doubt that.
Two lumps?
Thanks.
Like rare roast beef?
Not for breakfast.
For dinner I mean.
Say, now listen, you're not ..
Now you listen.
Don't think I'm going to pile out in
the morning to get your breakfast.
Then have you use hooch for dinner.
Six-thirty for you, young man.
And don't be late.
Hi. I hope you'll excuse me.
Hello Jay. Why, Kate ..?
Hello, Laura.
How do you do?
You'd better let me do it.
I hope I didn't tear it.
No harm done.
It's the first time, isn't it.
Fortunately.
Does it still hurt, Jay?
I wish you would forget it.
I'm sorry.
Will you ask for the check.
I'll go and get ready.
Will you talk to me.
Why of course. Sit down.
I know how you ..
I don't feel any resentment.
Why, how can you say that?
Because I know you are
less to blame than any of us.
I don't mean a thing to him.
I've been going to his house every day.
Fixing his meals.
I've been trying to ..
Straighten him out?
No, I ..
I've been trying to
make him care for me.
But it's no use.
I'm to blame.
So is Jay.
I know that now.
Why don't you try to
get together with him?
I'm not going to see him anymore.
Would it do any good?
He loves you.
He needs you terribly.
Why don't you go in my
place in the morning?
I won't tell him you're coming.
Ready, Laura?
All fixed.
Thanks.
So long, Kate.
I'll do that little thing
for you in the morning.
Goodbye.
Kate.
Laura.
Mother.
How are you, dear?
Where did you come from?
Didn't you expect me?
Why .. no.
Didn't you get my letter?
Why no.
It's probably in one of Jay's pockets.
Probably.
I wrote to you that I was
on my way to Florida.
And that I'd stop off and see you.
Oh, how stupid of Jay.
He might have forwarded it.
Been away?
Hmm.
Why, just to Atlantic City.
Oh.
It must have come then.
Hmm.
When did you decide to got to Florida?
Well, I'll tell you all
about that upstairs.
Yes. You must.
Are you going somewhere?
I think I am .. oh, just to the grocers.
I forgot to get the bacon
for Jay's breakfast.
There you are.
So busy at your office that your
poor husband hasn't any bacon.
You run along then, dear.
I'll go on up alone.
Oh, I'll go too.
But can't Jay let me in?
No, I think I'd better come.
But the man must have his bacon.
Oh, he'll get his bacon alright.
I'll send him for it.
Why ..?
There. You see? Going to
work without his breakfast.
How are you, Jay darling?
Me? Oh, I'm great.
What's that I smell?
Bacon.
Bacon?
Why Laura, you told me you
were going after bacon.
I've plenty of bacon.
Oh you've found it.
Found what?
The bacon.
What do you suppose I was after?
Oh, of course.
Well are you surprised to see me?
I'm delighted.
I suppose you've been carrying
mother's letter around in your pocket?
Oh, have I?
Yes, I suppose I have.
Oh well. No harm done.
How do you like our place, mother?
Why, it's lovely.
I'll take a look at the other rooms.
Of course.
Mother, you must see
our nice little bedroom.
My dear, I am famished.
Could I have a cup of tea?
Right away.
Thanks.
There is no tea.
Say, what's the idea?
I just happened to meet
mother out front.
She's on her way to Florida.
And you?
I came here to talk to you.
Yes?
I think we should settle this matter.
I'll let you take the steps.
Thanks.
But that's not what I want.
We have so much
worthwhile to take its place.
Why can't we both
forget what's happened?
And start all over.
I'm to forget that night I found you ..?
Well, if I can come here ..
It's charming.
If I ever come to New York to live
I'm going to have a place just like it.
Do you know I haven't been
in New York in so long.
That I think I'll stay
over for a day or two.
That is, if it won't put you out.
Oh no, not at all.
Why, Jay can sleep on the couch.
I don't believe in separation
young married people.
I sleep on the couch.
Oh, but mother.
Now, my dear.
Did you ever know me to change
my mind once I've made it up?
I sleep on the couch.
Now then, if you've got that tea ready.
There is no tea.
Chocolate, then.
There is no chocolate.
Any coffee?
Yeah.
Oh yes, we've got lots of coffee.
I'll get it ready in a few seconds.
I'll help.
Now what are we going to do?
Listen, Jay. Mother mustn't
know we've split up.
I'm not going to have her trip spoiled.
It's only for a day or so.
How are we going to work it?
She's got the couch.
I don't know but we've got to work it.
Look, you run out and
get some groceries.
Then go to my hotel and
pick up some of my clothes.
Before mother finds out the truth.
Right.
I guess I can make it.
What time does she get up?
About six.
That means I have to be in at 5:30.
Four hours sleep.
I'm terribly sorry.
It's alright.
Are you going out, Jay?
Just to the corner. I forgot
to mail an important letter.
You won't be long I hope?
I couldn't close my eyes
without a man in the house.
I'll be right back.
I'm sorry I woke you.
That's alright. I wasn't asleep.
Back again, Jay?
Yeah.
Oh Jay, now that I'm awake.
I want to talk to you and Laura.
Oh.
When you're in your pyjamas, call me.
Certainly.
Make it snappy.
Alright. I'll do that.
No. I'm alright.
Please, Jay.
You'll need this yourself.
No I won't, Jay.
Oh, this can't go on.
I'll tell you mother I'm called
away on business in the morning.
Laura, get back into bed.
Very well.
We just haven't made a go of things.
I wonder why we weren't up to it.
We wanted it so.
Oh, it's a pity.
I tried hard enough.
You don't believe me?
How can I?
Not even if I give you my word
I've done nothing wrong?
Is it that you just don't care?
Laura.
I don't want you to think
this doesn't hurt me.
I still love you in spite of everything
and I want to believe you.
But do you want to go
on knowing how I feel?
Jay, you make it so impossible.
With your suspicions, you just
don't want to believe the truth.
And it's no use trying to make you.
The evil interpretation you
placed in what you saw ..
Would stick in your mind forever.
I've humbled myself enough.
When you and you alone are to blame.
That Canfield woman, that Kate!
And I don't know how many others.
That's not fair.
I explained about Kate.
We agreed to forget it. You knew I was
drunk didn't know what I was doing.
That's a fine excuse.
Well, it's a better excuse than you got.
I got a bad cold and I took
a couple of drinks to cure it.
And I got drunk.
But you weren't drunk when
you worked nights with Purcell.
You weren't drunk on the boat with him.
You knew what you were doing.
Then, it would have been perfectly
alright it I'd been drinking?
[ Door knocks ]
Alright to come in?
Yeah.
Well children, you haven't fooled me.
What's the trouble?
Who's fault?
Well, we're both to blame, I guess.
Mostly mine.
Well, if things are that even,
you can forgive and forget.
We can't.
Oh, nonsense.
Laugh at it.
I don't feel in the mood.
Oh, don't you?
Now you just sit down here.
And let me tell you a few things.
Do you know what ails you two?
And your whole generation,
for that matter?
You are too confoundedly self-important.
Oh mother, talk can't help.
Why you're just a pair of
weak, silly little fools.
You think you're going somewhere
because you're going so fast.
You think your passions must be epic.
Because we you yield to them.
The lives you lead must be terrific.
Because they exhaust you so.
But let me tell you something.
It's just the other way around.
Why, you're not strong enough to be bad.
You children seem to
think that getting drunk ..
And raising Cane were invented by you.
But let me tell you we had
better devils twenty years ago.
You swallow a little watery gin.
You can't carry it as well as your
father carried a quart of strong rye.
He was a man.
I've seen him drink.
Yes. And your father too, Laura.
Those men could afford to drink.
Because they ate five
pounds of meat in a day.
I've seen your breakfasts.
Toast .. coffee .. orange juice.
And bacon.
How dare you try to be wicked ..
On a diet like that.
Do you know what you two need?
No. What?
A trip to Atlantic City.
There must be some reason
why men take their wives ..
And their stenographers there.
Well, what do you say?
Oh .. alright.
In the morning, go your
own separate ways.
I am turning out this light.
At least you two young idiots won't be
able to make ugly faces at each other.
Jay.
What?
You'll get chills sitting there.
No, I won't.
You certainly will.
And then you'll catch aother cold.
Don't worry about me. I'll be alright.
You know how susceptible you are.
Already this winter,
you've had four or five ..
Colds.
What makes you so stubborn?
Why don't you climb in here
where it's nice and wrm?
Achoo!
See? What did I tell you?
I'm not catching cold. I ..
Achoo!
Laura.
What?
You stubborn thing.
Achoo!
I think I am catching a cold.
I hope I don't catch your cold.
T-G