Henry Meyerwitz
had never wanted any children.
But when he had his first,
he remembered an old proverb:
"Commit a sin twice,
and it Will not seem a crime."
So he had more.
And once a year, his sins,
all grown up,
gathered to celebrate
his birthday.
He didn't want to be there.
They didn't want to be there.
This year, however,
a book came out
that made it even Worse.
And I want to make a toast
to my fabulous son Nate
and the great success
he's having with his book,
Peep World.
Thanks, Dad.
Oh, pardon me If I don't toast
a man who's ruined my life.
And I don't know how
any of you could.
I ruined your life?
And what did I do?
Did I make you more unemployed,
more dysfunctional?
You stabbed us all
in the back, you motherfucker!
You're a fucking bitch.
Okay?
You honestly have wasted
your entire life
being an asshole.
Look at yourself in the mirror.
You're a fraud.
- You're the fucked-up version
of Amy Winehouse..
There were
four Meyerwitz children.
Jack was the responsible son.
Like the main character
in Peep World,
he was a struggling architect
Whose father made him
feel inadequate.
Bastard.
There were
other things in his life
that made him
fee! inadequate foo.
Piece of shit.
Liar.
Pervert.
The first time
Jack heard Laura
curse in her sleep, he assumed
she was having a nightmare.
Fucker.
Fuck you.
By the second night,
he knew the nightmare was him.
Cheri Meyerwitz
was a would-be artist,
poet, actress, dancer,
and singer-songwriter.
But the only thing
that had brought her
any measure of recognition
was the Way her brother Nathan
had portrayed her
in his book, Peep World..
AH right, folks,
here we go.
This is Peep World..
Scene 24, take four.
To make matters Worse,
they just happened to be
shooting the movie version
right in front
of her apartment.
We gotta go.
We gotta get a shot off.
31 apple, take one.
Action.
How do I look?
You look good.
Good? Just good?
I can't go to my audition now.
My confidence is shot.
God damn it,
what the fuck was that?
Cut!
Are you fucking kidding me?
Come on, feel the noise
Every family
has a black sheep,
a colossal underachiever,
a recovering addict,
a fuck-up.
In the Meyerwitz family,
that role fell to Joel..
Oh, God. Shit.
What was that?
Oh, man.
And I don't know Why
I don't know why
It makes me money
And I don't know Why
Oh, come on.
God!
That's just great.
Oh, no!
JOh, nor
That is so not cool, man.
Girls, rock your boys
Aah!
Fudge!
Back in two minutes.
Back on the air
in two minutes.
Nathan,
the youngest Meyerwitz,
had relished every moment
of his book tour
except for today.
That's because
he was facing his family
for the first time
since Peep World came out.
They'll be ready for you
in a minute.
I told them not to mention
your sister's lawsuit.
Good. Thank you.
Thank you very much.
You have a little something.
Do you want me to get you
another green tea?
No, I'm fine.
You can do whatever you do.
Okay.
Nathan's favorite
part of his book tour
was getting to work
with attractive assistants.
He treated them
condescendingly...
Uh.
Because he read
Norman Mailer did that.
I'm sure you get this
all the time.
Do you have any
sort of advice at all
fora young struggling writer?
I mean, I love doing PR work
and everything,
but in my heart,
I'm a writer.
Of course you are.
So, like, any sort
of experience at all
that you could
kind of pass...
Listen. Listen.
There's nothing that
I can tell you
that's gonna
magically make you a writer.
You either have talent,
or you do not.
Writing is something
that you were born with.
It's not something
that you can just pick up.
Okay?
It is not like Spanish.
Okay.
Okay, do you understand?
I'm gonna go see
if they're ready for you.
Well, you know what?
Can you wait one second?
Can you wait one second
actually?
I need your opinion
on something very important.
Really?
Yeah.
This is huge.
- Okay.
- Okay?
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay, gather yourself.
Which one do you prefer?
Really look at them, right?
They're works of art.
Uh, they're both good.
Everybody knows
they're both good.
Everybody can look at them
and say they're both good,
but I need you to pick one.
Okay, well that one makes you
look a little more literary.
Yeah, because
of the turtleneck?
Yeah, and it's... the tilt.
Yeah, a crafty head tilt.
It's a veteran move, right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
And by the way, I know I looked
just okay in Peep World.
It's fine.
It was a bit of a clich.
A clich, right, this?
I know.
I told them that.
I didn't want to do that.
Okay, and for my next novel,
the photo is going to match
the power of the writing.
You take Philip Roth on the
back of Portnoy's Complaint...
Did you read it?
Yes.
- Do you want to know why?
- Great book.
It's a... it's a good book.
It's a good book.
No, you read it because he looks
unbelievable on that back cover,
like a Jewish Casanova, right?
Like he could pick up a shofar
and make it sound
like a jazz saxophone.
That photo had
a hypnotic effect on women.
So that's why men write,
to get women?
That's why men do everything.
They're ready for you,
Mr. Meyerwitz.
Please, you can just
call me Nathan, right?
She can just call me Nathan.
Where you from?
Cuba.
Oh, get out of here.
I love Cuba.
Honey! Wake up!
Oh, my god.
Ah, don't do that!
How can you read this
before you go to bed?
No wonder you have
trouble sleeping.
There you go.
Thank you.
Your brother's on TV again.
How does he look?
Smug
Our next guest
is causing quite a stir
with his first novel,
Peep World,
the number one
best-selling novel.
Welcome, Nathan Meyerwitz.
It's a pleasure to be here.
That is one disturbing novel.
And that family... Whoo.
So will he be gracing us
with his presence tonight?
Yeah.
I wonder if it's too late
to sit him at another table.
My own life experience.
So I'm taking a mirror,
and I'm putting it up
to all families, and I'm saying,
"Take a look at yourself.
Take a good, hard look."
Ooh, he kicked.
So it's safe to say
that Peep World is at least...
somewhat autobiographical?
- Yes.
- Oh, yes, of course.
What time is it?
I've got an appointment.
I better get in the shower.
Save some hot water for me.
Okay.
Dysfunctional family.
And your own family?
How do they feel about
the incredible
attention that
Peep World is getting?
They love it.
They're excited.
- No.
- Yeah.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
Your brother's supposed
to protect you.
Your brother isn't supposed
to betray you.
Christ was betrayed too.
Yeah, that's true.
Cheri sought solace
in her friend Ephraim,
who would patiently listen
to her in hopes that one day,
Cheri would sleep with him.
They've been seeing each other
for eight years.
You know it is
a sad commentary
on our society indeed
that we allow someone
to use a trusting relationship
for their own material gain.
And he made a fortune
on that book.
And that's before the movie.
And now I walk
out of my apartment,
and I step straight
into Peep World.
It's like rape.
It feels like rape.
Yeah, and by your own brother.
Oh, I went to an audition
the other day.
All the director
could talk about
was Peep World and Peep World
and can I introduce him
to Nathan,
like he's a goddamn deity
or something, no offense.
None taken.
He's had it in for me ever
since he was born,
literally since he was born.
I used to be the favorite.
I was the youngest.
Now Nathan's the youngest.
He was a mistake.
You know he was
a mistake baby?
- No, no, I didn't know that.
- I didn't tell you that?
- Is this clean?
- Yeah, all washed.
It was Jack, uh, Joel, me,
all two years apart,
and then seven years later,
Nathan.
Nobody wanted him.
I should have done
everybody a favor
and put a plastic bag
in his crib.
No, no. That's one
of the seven dead lies
I will be civil tonight
at Daddy's birthday.
I will be civil,
but he better watch himself,
because I have fucking had it.
Cheri, I will be standing
right by your side,
and if you decide
to go all the way with this,
go to trial,
I will be there for you too.
Do you think I'm a monster?
No, no.
Of course not.
You don't think
I'm a monster?
Not at all.
Can you get my spot?
Yeah.
That's it.
I hate to break it
to you Effie,
but that is not a Jewish man
I'm looking at.
To his children,
Henry Meyerwitz
was more of a face
on a billboard than a father.
He was like the Marlboro man,
but shorter and Jewish.
Jack.
Good morning.
Morning.
I'm sorry I kept you waiting.
That's okay.
That's when your Dad and I Won
the tournament at Riviera.
Do you remember that?
- Not really.
- The man is an animal.
He's an absolute killer
at the net.
I don't doubt that.
So I see you've been looking
at the plans.
Yeah.
Looked them over
pretty carefully,
and, um, they're good.
But I... I kept hoping
that they would be, um...
Better?
No. No, not better.
Just...
different.
Maybe, um, next time?
Un, now many times are you
going to remodel the den?
Say hi to your Dad for me.
Will do.
Your card is no good, man.
It's been rejected.
No good?
That's impossible.
It's my brother's..
I'll take care of this.
When Joel was seven,
he asked his father
to give him a dollar
to buy some candy.
His father turned him down.
So he asked his brother Jack.
He's been borrowing money
from him ever since.
Hello?
Jack, hey, it's Joel.
How you...
Jack? Jack?
Dropped call or...
What?
Hey, Jack. Hey.
How are you?
Lost you back there, bro.
You didn't lose me.
I hung up.
This is serious.
There's something wrong
with your credit card.
There's nothing wrong
with the card.
I trusted you.
Look at the thanks I get.
What are you talking about?
The monthly statement.
You think I don't read it?
$800 dollars
at the Pump Station.
What is that,
another strip club?
No, it's not a strip club.
It's a personal training center.
I'm kickboxing now.
- You're boxing?
- It's not just boxing.
Muay Thai.
You know, it's...
if you want to get
in the best shape of your life,
then trust me on this one.
You should try it.
Kickboxing is the way to go.
Are you there? Jack?
Are you listening?
This is important.
Look, Joel.
I'm having a rough morning,
all right?
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
Is there anything I can do?
Yeah, of course there's
something you can do.
Stop asking me for money.
Stop creating crises.
You know what,
I believe
that people can change,
and I'm gonna
turn things around,
and you're gonna see that.
I am gonna turn this around.
I'm gonna take care of my debt.
I'm gonna get
my practice going again.
I'm gonna get married,
and I am gonna have a good life.
Well, I really hope so, Joel.
Yeah.
And I'm gonna retire at 40.
You're 38, Joel.
You're broke.
Well, that's...
see, that's negative.
How do you expect me
to be positive
with all the negativity
raining down on me all the time?
And I'm gonna tell you
something else.
I have a new girlfriend,
and she is wonderful.
She believes in me,
and she's trying to make me
a better man.
And she's not some whore either.
Well, that sounds good...
Joel.
Yeah. It is great.
It is great.
So what I'm gonna do is,
I'm gonna just put you
on the phone, um,
With, uh, What's your name?
Maduk..
Ma... Maduk?
Maduk?
Maduk..
Uh, where are you from?
Sudan.
Sudan? Ooh.
Sexy. Grr..
Uh, Maduk from Sudan
and, uh,
all you have to do is give him
your credit card number.
Thank you so much, brother.
Thank you.
Hello?
What's this gonna cost me?
$483.
Hey, Jack.
Your father called.
He said he wanted to know
about Thomkins
We really needed that one.
I know.
I'll be in my office.
- And don't forget,
Laura's stopping by at 1:00.
He's a good guy,
my brother, right?
My brother would have told me
to go fuck myself.
Families. Right?
Okay.
Wait, do I ride with you?
I ride with you.
Maduk..
Come in.
Sorry, Jack, but, uh,
we have to go over this.
We can pay the rent,
the electricity,
and the phone bill.
But that's it.
There's at least $17,000
in other bills.
Jack.
Your brother's on the phone.
I need to take this
in private.
What do you need now, Joel?
No, no, no.
It's not Joel.
It's Nathan,
your successful brother.
Oh. Hey.
Jesus.
Every developer in this city
is going out of business,
but leave it to Dad
to make money.
Yeah.
That's what he's good at.
Hey, so how's Laura
holding up?
She's, uh...
she's great.
Despite
being betrayed
by Nathan
in his book Peep World,
Jack had
an almost masochistic desire
to open up
to his youngest brother.
I'm not sure, but she's been
talking in her sleep.
Should hear her.
"You fucker."
"Fuck you."
"Liar."
How long has this
been going on for?
Uh, that's enough.
I can't believe
I told you that much.
Come on.
You can trust me.
Look, I'm through being fodder
for your imagination.
Please, okay.
We have...
Jack, I gotta take this, okay?
I'll talk to you tonight
at Dad's party.
All right.
Hello?
Yeah, this is he.
Fantastic. Cancellation.
At what time?
I will be there.
I am on my way right now.
I will be there.
Uh, where?
Hey, drop me off
at Mariposa and Sixth.
You have a 1:30 book reading.
If I'm late, I'm late.
That's rude.
Well, the world
isn't always polite.
Or didn't they teach you
that over at UCLA?
I must have missed that class.
You obviously didn't miss
the one on condescension
I actually majored in it.
That's fine.
- Nathan.
- What?
Nathan.
What?
If you're not there,
my boss will kill me.
I will be there.
I promise.
Please.
Stop it.
I will be there.
Hemingway
found his courage
by running with the buffs.
Nathan found his by visiting
a highly recommended doctor
on craigslist.
And you are?
Jack. Jack Meyerwitz.
I'm an architect.
Nathan knew it was
Wrong to use Jack's name.
But in his mind,
he couldn't risk
his secret getting out.
Premature ejaculation
is a common problem.
Now, there's no reason
to be embarrassed about this.
It's a simple mechanical problem
that we can now fix.
Let me ask you.
Are you able
to achieve penetration
before ejaculation?
Some of the time.
Good.
That's good.
In those instances,
how long before you orgasm?
One minute?
Two?
Okay.
How would you like
to last an hour?
What about two or three?
Five minutes
would be unbelievable.
We've developed
a patented compound
that takes effect
almost immediately.
Jeez.
It opens up the veins...
Naah..
In the sponge tissue
of the penis,
the capora cavernosax
Keeps them open
and maintains an erection
for at least an hour,
allowing you to perform
without the fear
of ejaculation.
Now just... just think
of the hours of pleasure
you'll be able to give,
and receive, as a result.
For the first time,
you'll be able
to be with a woman
and feel fully confident
of your abilities.
That would be amazing.
Okay, I need you to stand up.
Salvador,
come in here please.
Who is Salvador?
Oh, he's my nurse.
You're gonna love him.
Full-dosage cartridge.
Very good.
- Is it a pill?
- No.
Now, I don't want you
to be worried.
Holy shit.
- It Won't hurt at all.
- Nope. Nah.
No, we don't have to.
Normal, very normal.
No.
Jesus Christ.
Okay.
Now...
You said something about being
an architect, huh?
What kind of architecture
do you do, Jack?
I do... Aah!
No.
I told you it Wouldn't hurt.
Oh, it kills.
That kills.
See how easy that was?
Oh. Ah.
Now, your erection
will come on rapidly
once the medication
takes effect.
It should subside
in about 15 minutes.
15 minutes...
are... are you sure?
Maybe 20, more or less.
You might feel some discomfort,
but that's a normal part
of the diagnostic.
Don't worry.
Very normal.
If had taken Joef
eight times
to pass the California bar.
So most people
wouldn't trust him
to handle their divorce...
Hey.
Except for Mary...
Joel Meyerwitz.
His girlfriend.
I've been waiting
for you all morning.
I'm sorry.
You promised me you would
help me with my divorce.
I don't want to be married
to that man forever.
- I know, I know.
- I want to be with you.
- Oh.
- Okay?
Mmm.
Mmm.
You smell nice.
Thank you.
The judge is pissed.
Oh, God.
My car broke down again.
You have no business
driving a car like that,
and you know it.
Who do you think
you are anyway,
Johnnie Cochran?
Baby, what is it?
- Hmm?
- What's wrong with you?
Why you look sick?
No, I'm... I'm fine.
You need to take care
of yourself.
I know, with your help.
- Okay.
- Okay?
- What would you do without me?
- What would I do?
Come on, let's reschedule
this hearing.
Yes, officer.
Hey, you know what,
I just need to finish up
one piece of business,
and, uh, I'll be
right in with you.
One minute.
Okay.
You look cute today.
Oh.
Hurry up.
Joel Meyerwitz.
Mr. Meyerwitz, We represent
the Honduran Credit Association.
Let's go for a walk.
Okay, is this really
necessary, guys?
If We were gonna Whack you,
We Wouldn't do it here.
Okay, wait.
See, now the fact that you're
even mentioning whacking...
Your loan with the HCA is
substantially in the arrears.
Okay, okay.
Well, hold on a second.
Hold on.
We can work this out.
All right there's... there's
some kind of misunderstanding,
and I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do.
I'm just gonna call Felix and...
Felix is the one
that sent us.
We need to collect $12,000.
Are you serious?
I don't carry that kind of cash
around with me.
- You got a car?
- Yeah.
Give us the keys.
What? Are you crazy?
My car's Worth, like, 50 grand.
Keys, Mr. Meyerwitz.
Okay.
You know what,
I have a solution to this.
I know how to take care
of this situation.
Okay, guys?
We are simply going to talk
to my father.
Yeah, We're having dinner
tonight downtown at the Madison.
Come on by,
and he will write you a check.
- No checks.
- No, no, no.
You don't understand.
My father is Henry Meyerwitz.
Real estate guy.
Why don't you fix me
and Wizdom up
with a bottle of champagne too?
Yes.
Champagne. Surf and turf.
Anything you want.
He'll have an open tab,
so just go crazy.
All right, guys.
Hey, is that, uh...
Wizdom is your real name?
It's Wizdom with a Z.
With a Z?
Is that on
your birth certificate?
Because you can get that
legally changed.
I could take care of that,
change it to an S.
Are you playing with me?
I... I would never play
with you, Wizdom..
And Z is...
it's perfectly fine.
Okay.
All right, we'll see you
tonight, guys.
Ma, it's me.
Always a pain
in the ass,
Cheri's mother dreamed
of the day
her daughter
would finally run away.
Ma!
But she never did.
Mom!
In the back.
Right.
Your son is a dead man.
I swear to God,
the next time I see Nathan,
I'm gonna kill him.
Hi, Cheri.
Hello, princess.
You look beautiful.
Hi, Ted.
Why are you making him
do that?
He's practically blind.
Is that supposed to be that?
Wow.
All right.
Come. Help your mother.
Let's go.
Great.
Ugh.
Peep World
is everywhere I look.
They're shooting
right outside my apartment.
Did you know that?
You don't think Nate did that
on purpose?
I doubt it.
Hey, you want to help me
with the socks?
No, I don't want
to help you with the socks.
I didn't come here
to fucking fold laundry, Mom!
I haven't been able
to eat anything
since this book came out.
Well, it doesn't show.
Oh, thank you so much.
You know I'm going through
a really painful time,
and you're acting like
you don't give a shit.
It's just a book.
And a movie.
Still, it doesn't matter.
It does matter.
I need you to sign this.
No.
I am not gonna help you
sue your brother.
For the sake of the family,
would you just give up
your lawsuit?
I will not.
It's gonna be okay.
I disagree.
Half the stuff in that book
Nate made up.
This is a work of fiction.
I have lost friends
over this book, mother.
People look at me now,
and they just...
they think I'm a bitch.
Oh, you agree.
I'm outta here.
Ooh. Wow.
Somebody's excited
for Daddy's dinner tonight
He's bringing
his new girlfriend.
Did he tell you?
No.
I bet she's really young
and pretty.
Ah.
Aah.
Salvador.
Ah.
Salvador.
Normal.
Very normal.
But, uh, it's really aching.
It's really throbbing.
Whoa? What is whoa?
What does whoa mean?
Uh, could you please
lift your gown for me?
Come on.
Please.
Salvador, come take
a look at this.
No. Don't...
See?
The level of tumescence
is off the charts.
Look. See the expressiveness
in the veins?
Prominence of the head?
What level dosage
did you give me?
- You said full.
- I did?
Yes, you did.
Well, in rare cases,
the erection will not dissipate.
If your penis stays erect
for more than eight hours...
Eight hours?
Are you kidding?
Your penis will need to be
drained before gangrene sets in.
Gangrene?
Perfect.
Fantastic.
Jack, Relax.
Calm down, okay?
Relax?
You know what?
Let me drain your penis
and see how calm you'd be.
Listen.
You're going to be fine.
Just call your girlfriend,
explain what happened here,
go home, and get busy.
And don't stop.
Don't wait for an orgasm.
Just keep going until
your erection subsides
I don't have a girlfriend.
I am so sorry.
I'm sure he'll be here
any minute.
He doesn't show up
in five minutes,
I'll have to cancel.
Writers.
Tell me about it.
Hey.
Nathan, you're late.
What's wrong?
You sick?
Nathan talk to me.
What's wrong?
Oh, my God.
What is it?
- It's an erection.
- What?
I need to be drained.
I'll explain later.
You're gonna be all right?
Let's just get this
over with, okay?
- You walking okay?
- Yeah, it hurts.
A book came out last year,
a brutally honest portrayal
of a dysfunctional family
on the brink of implosion.
Ladies and gentlemen,
it is a great honor
to present to you the new voice
of a generation,
Nathan Meyerwitz.
Nathan.
Thank you.
"The far side of 30
and his desire
"had transformed
from a wondrous torrent
into something
curdled and r"...
Shit.
Shit.
Mother...
Oh.
"Inside a porno booth.
"A California
state-licensed architect
rooted out from the bowels
of Pee"...
There it is!
Okay. I'm fine.
No.
No, I'm not fine.
Oh.
God damn.
Um...
We're leaving.
Sorry, Jack.
We have bills to pay.
Wow.
I appreciate that you hung in
there as long as you did.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you
for all your hard work.
I'll pay you what I owe you.
I promise.
Take care of yourself, Jack.
Hello?
Mister Meyerwitz?
I'm calling to confirm
your reservation
at the Madison tonight.
12 people at 8:00.
Yep. We'll be there.
I think your father will be
very happy with
your menu choices,
uh, Dom Prignon,
Chateau Lafite,
Beluga caviar.
I would be remiss, however,
if I did not inform you
that the market price
of the stone crab legs
have gone up to $60 a pound.
Do you still want them?
Your father does love them.
Oh, yes.
Wonderful.
We will see you tonight.
Good-bye.
Do you think he'll like it?
Of course he will.
All dads like
what their sons get them.
You don't know my father.
Mm. When are you gonna wash
this truck?
It's dirty.
Oh.
Thank you.
You know what I love about you?
My oar?
Ha! Besides that.
You are so sweet
and so thoughtful.
My husband never opened
the door for me.
He never listened to me.
Sorry, what were you saying?
Get in the car.
Almost here.
I know.
I can't believe I'm finally
gonna see your apartment.
Okay.
Here we go.
Yay.
Ooh, God.
You live here?
Well, it's just temporary,
till I, uh, move.
Yeah.
Okay.
You Wouldn't make it one day
in the army.
How about some wine?
Sure.
Okay.
Okay, baby,
this place is nasty.
It's... ew.
No, no. No, no.
Don't do that.
That's...
No, it's pine.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Lilac Valley.
Uh, yeah.
Um...
You could use order
in your life.
You need some...
discipline.
Yes, I know.
You're right.
You're absolutely right.
To order and discipline
in my life.
Better yet,
to a workin progress.
Work in progress.
Cheers.
EW.
Hey, Mary, could I talk to you
about something?
Yeah, sure.
Oh, baby, what is it?
What's bothering you?
Just tell me.
I just-
I need to ask you.
Am I anything like Jason
from the book?
No.
You know, all needy
and everything?
No. No, way.
Do you think
that I'm a loser?
No.
Why would you think that?
Who thinks that of you, Joel?
Who said that?
My father.
My Whole family.
Pretty much everyone I know.
Let me tell you something.
I don't hang out
with losers, okay?
And you know what,
fuck them.
You don't even have to go
to that dinner tonight
if you don't want to.
Yeah, I do.
I actually really do.
Uh, Kimmy?
Kimmy out.
She leave early today,
go to daughter's recital.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no.
No worry.
No worry.
Lily take care of you.
She good too. Lily.
Oh, um, sit down.
Sit down.
This is mine.
I just usually have Kimmy.
Yeah, she's very good, so...
Oh. Well, Kimmy good.
Lily better.
Here.
You have a...
I need a very good pedicure.
I am wearing
open-toed shoes tonight,
and I need to be
the prettiest girl in the room.
So...
Aw, you go out
with your husband?
No.
With your fianc?
- No my...
- The boyfriend?
No. Uh, my father.
Oh, you daddy's girl?
- Uh-huh.
Oh, that's so nice.
I don't remember my father.
He died.
My father and I are,
uh, very close.
We, um...
We're very close.
We're, uh...
basically best friends.
Like BFS.
Thank you for calling JMA.
Our office is currently closed.
Agh..
May I help you?
No, thank you.
Jack?
Spread your legs.
Jack?
Jack?
What are you doing?
My husbands in here.
Madam, this is a place
of business.
These gentlemen have a right
to their privacy.
Jack, I know you're in there.
I saw you Walk in the building.
Get the fuck out of here,
you crazy bitch!
Jack?
You're going to have a brawl,
please take it outside.
Jack! Jack!
Gentlemen, we're having
an emergency.
The shop is closed.
Jack!
- I'm sorry, sir.
- Jack!
- Sorry, sir.
Leave. Good-bye, sir.
Jack?
Please come back again, sir.
Sir, I'm very sorry.
Madam!
- Jack!
- Madam, one second please!
Madam, please.
Sir.
The shop is closed.
I ask you to leave
your booth now.
I will count to three.
One, two...
Ugh.
Laura!
Laura, wait!
Where are you going?
We have to talk about this!
Hello?
Jack, it's Cheri.
And I need you to tell Nathan
that he cannot...
Shut up!
Laura!
Let me in.
This is ridiculous.
Let me in.
We have to talk.
I can't believe I found you
at that disgusting place,
inside one of those booths,
masturbating.
I don't jerk off in there.
I mean, that is worse
than cheating on me!
At least that's normal
if not typical.
But this...
This is... this is just...
This is ridiculous.
Honey, let me in.
I can't talk to you like this.
You said that Nate
made it all up!
How are you?
Are you gonna
tell me the truth?
Yes.
I'm waiting.
Everything in Peep World...
it's all true, all of it.
I needed to talk to somebody.
I confided in Nathan.
I didn't know he was gonna
put it in his book.
I didn't even know
what he was writing about.
When it came out, I was...
I was embarrassed.
It was humiliating.
I lied.
Laura.
What do you watch in there?
The usual.
What is that?
It's just the usual.
Laura, what's the point
of that?
How often?
Now and then.
How often?
- Now and then?
- What? Once a Week?
Twice a day?
What?
Stop it, will you?
You don't...
You just... you don't know
what it's like, Laura.
No, I don't..
I'm fucking tired.
Okay?
Of what?
Of always having to be
the good one.
The good son.
The good brother.
I'm sick of all
the fucking responsibility.
I hate it.
Well, um, that's
kind of too bad, Jack,
because you're gonna have
a lot more responsibility
in seven weeks.
I know.
That's what I'm afraid of.
What if I do to our son
what my father did to me?
Then he'll hate you,
and every year, he'll hate
having to throw you
a birthday party.
I'm not going tonight.
Laura.
I'm sorry.
I lied to you.
I'm an idiot.
I'm sorry.
Please.
Fine.
I'll be there with you tonight,
but I won't be there for you.
Ah, ah.
Ah.
I can't do this.
Okay, it says here if
Pseudoephedrine doesn't work,
intense, sustained
physical activity
is the best way
of dealing with this.
You think it's working?
Not yet.
Great.
This is it.
This is it.
God is punishing me
for what I did to my family.
I can't go to my dad's party
like this.
I am fucked.
Yeah. You are.
You know, a little sympathy
would be nice.
Well, the world
isn't always polite.
Or didn't they teach you that
at Berkeley?
Fine. Fine.
I... I deserve that, okay?
And I'm sorry the way I yelled
at you in the limo.
Okay?
Thank you.
Ah, ah.
Oh, my God,
my dick hurts.
Why would you do something
so drastic?
Because for once, I wanted
to know what it's like
to be with a woman and not have
to apologize afterwards.
Well, plenty of guys have
premature ejaculation problems.
When they're 14.
I'm 29, relatively well-known.
It is embarrassing.
Okay, well speaking
as a woman,
there's a lot more to a guy
than his sexual performance.
Okay?
There's his heart,
his kindness,
his sensitivity.
Ah, I'm screwed there too,
so...
You're really not
such a bad guy.
I mean you're really full
of yourself, but...
I mean, you're
an incredible writer.
Thank you, Meg.
With a dysfunctional penis.
Ugh.
Ugh.
All right,
we tried the hot bath.
It did not work.
We tried running in place.
Stupid.
I looked like an idiot.
There is...
one more thing...
that we haven't
quite tried yet.
You and l... could...
Okay, this is way,
way beyond the call of duty.
I know.
Just relax.
We have two hours
before your dad's dinner.
It's gonna be okay.
It's gonna be okay.
Okay, there he is.
Hey, Jack.
All right.
Good to see you,
sweetheart.
You too, Mom.
Hey, how late do you think
that Dad's gonna arrive?
The over under's 8:48.
Uh, we'll see.
Guess who else
is fashionably late,
our brother Nathan.
Fucking asshole.
Everything okay with you two?
Jack, what did you do?
Nothing.
I'm gonna get a drink.
Why are you
always blaming him?
Because he does things, Mommy.
Like what?
Exactly.
Not tonight.
Not tonight, Cheri.
Could I get
a double scotch, neat?
Why don't you make it
a club soda?
If I can't drink through this,
neither can you.
So how many more weeks
of freedom you guys have?
Uh... seven..
Mazel tov..
Do you need
receiving blankets?
I saw these really fun,
Austrian, really?
Austria's actually
really famous
for their children's clothes.
- Huh.
- And Hitler.
He was German.
Austrian.
Are you serious?
He's German.
He was born
in Austria, Cheri.
Look it up.
Well, they're famous
for children's clothes as well.
Beef skewer?
I can't eat that;
I'm a vegetarian.
You know,
Hitler was a vegetarian.
Jack, if I have to hear
one more thing about Hitler,
I am gonna lose it.
It's gone.
It's gone.
It's gone.
Did you hear me?
That's... that's good.
Calm down.
That was amazing.
Did you feel something?
'Cause I totally felt something.
It was just sex, Nathan.
It's not the end of the world.
Yeah, but it was great sex.
It was fine.
You did very well.
You were great too.
Can I ask you another favor?
Don't ever tell anyone
about this?
Besides that.
I have to see
my family tonight.
It would be a lot easier
if I had someone in my corner.
Well, why do you need someone
in your corner?
Because everything I wrote
in Peep World is true.
Oh, Nathan.
Even the part about your sister
sleeping with the entire cast
of Tony N' Tina's Wedding?
She really loved that show.
Well, hey, at least your dad
comes off looking okay.
Yeah, that's the only thing
I lied about.
People are always telling me
how great of a man he was.
Thought maybe if I wrote him
that way,
I could finally see it.
What time is it?
I don't know.
- Holy shit.
- What?
- It's 8:15.
- Okay.
- Okay, the party started
at 8:00.
Are you gonna come?
Yeah, just don't tell anyone
I'm your girlfriend.
Yeah.
Yeah, we'll ease into it.
No, no. Don't tell anyone
I'm your girlfriend.
Right, right.
We'll talk about it in the car.
So have you decided
on a name yet?
Um, not yet.
Abraham's a good name.
Abraham
is a strong Jewish name.
I have a Sudanese friend,
and his brother
is named Abraham.
And he lost him.
He got out in the desert
and eaten by... shot.
Excuse me a second.
Right here, guys.
They're with me.
What's up man?
You have our money?
Yeah, my dad's not here yet,
but just come with me.
Have a seat at the bar, okay?
I'll set you up.
Hey anything they want,
on our tab, all right?
Just make yourselves
comfortable.
Let me get a shot of tequila.
Champagne.
Okay.
Good? You're good?
I was brought up a Jew
in a Jewish home
with very strict
Jewish traditional...
Jesus fucking Christ.
I can't believe he had the nerve
to show his face here.
Unbelievable.
Cheri, be nice.
Jack, talk to her.
What am I gonna say?
Hello, Nathan.
Hey, how is everybody?
Dad's not here yet?
No.
Hi, I'm Meg.
You look beautiful.
- Ted.
- Hi.
Cheri.
Who are you?
Uh, Meg.
I'm doing, um,
PR for his book.
So what did we interrupt?
Ephraim was just explaining
the whole
Jews for Jesus thing.
I was on a wrong path.
Very scary.
You know what,
don't say anything else, honey.
You might end up as a character
in Nathan's next book.
Hey, Jack.
Do me a favor?
Want to remind Cheri that
We're not permitted to speak
during the discovery phase
of the lawsuit.
Come on, everybody,
just relax.
We're supposed to have
a good time.
This is supposed to be
a happy occasion.
I'd have a good time
if Nathan wasn't here.
Cheri, do you want me
to leave?
- Yep.
- Fine, I'm gone.
- Okay.
- Take care.
Bye.
Nobody wants you
to leave Nathan.
No, no, no. I do.
I want him to leave.
And I can't believe
you're defending him.
Let me tell you something, Jack.
You don't come off so great
in the book either.
No wonder Laura is miserable.
Go fuck yourself, Cheri.
Go fuck yourself.
That's original.
You're original.
Wow.
All this over a book?
I got cousins that shot
each other that got over it.
I am starving.
If he doesn't get here
in the next five minutes,
I'm gonna eat Ted.
Ah.
Henry Meyerwitz
Walked into every building
like he owned it.
Let them know who you are,
so you can put them
in their place.
He did that in business.
He's here.
He did that with family.
Daddy!
Daddy!
Happy birthday.
- Uh-huh.
How are you, sweetie?
Hey, Dad.
We're right up here.
Up there, huh?
It's too close
to the bathroom, Jack.
Dad, We're not moving.
Hey, how is everybody?
Hi.
Hey, Dad.
Nice to meet you.
Look at that tummy.
Whoa.
Glad to see you.
Yeah.
Nice.
Is this your girlfriend?
Look at...
Yeah, yeah it is.
No, my name's Meg.
Hi.
Hi, nice to meet you.
I'm Henry.
Nice to meet you.
Oh, Marilyn.
Aren't you gorgeous?
Hey, Ted.
Hey, Joel.
Hi.
Hi. Good.
How are you?
This is Mary.
Hi, how are you?
She's...my girlfriend.
So...hi.
This is Amy!
Everybody.
Amy... Amy Harrison?
Yes.
Amy Harrison?
Guys, she is in the movie.
She plays Teri in the movie.
Oh, Teri.
Oh, she's my sister.
Yeah, she plays your sister.
You must be Nathan.
My dad is fucking the actress
that plays his daughter?
That's what it looks like.
So I'm actually something
of a Writer myself.
I would really love
to pick your brain
about the process.
It would be my pleasure.
That's the best thing
about writing.
It's something you can
develop overtime,
and with the right mentor...
Excuse me, mentor.
Would you pass the bread,
please?
That was sick.
Oh, wow.
You're Teri Markowitz.
Uh, yeah.
Oh.
Teri's based on me.
Hmm.
Of course
a very distorted version
that says a lot more about
the author and his problems
than it does about me,
but it's still my life,
thus the lawsuit.
So...
Oh, oh.
Did daddy tell you
I'm an actress?
Ha.
Oh, no.
I'm studying with Anton.
- Anton.
- Pitzelhoffen
Pitzelhoffen
- Do you know Anton?
- No.
No one knows who Anton is.
I have to say, I just...
I didn't imagine imagine you for
this part.
Like, I just...
Oh yeah?
That's not what
I pictured at all.
It's weird.
Did you imagine...
Nobody specific.
I just, um...
I guess..
someone famous.
- Nice, nice.
- Cheri.
More known.
I wanted you
to have this, so...
happy birthday.
What is that?
Thank you, Joel.
And I was hoping...
a little bit later,
I needed to speak
to you about something.
Hey, we said no presents.
There are not supposed
to be gifts.
The whole deal is,
you come to the dinner
and there are no presents...
Jack, right?
I paid for the party.
Oh, "I'm paying
for the party."
Good point.
I'm sorry not all of us
can be rich architects.
- Look at that face.
- It's just a picture.
Absolutely unbelievable.
All the potential you had
back then, Joel.
It was amazing.
- Mr. Meyerwitz.
- Yeah?
Some people are
just late bloomers.
And so?
What is that supposed to mean?
Don't be so hard on him.
I don't understand
what you're talking about.
Dad, I really need to speak
to you about this.
Okay, Joel.
If it's that important.
Thank you.
Aw, we said no presents.
Hey.
Okay.
Well, Dad,
you see, there's this, um...
I'm waiting, Joel.
Joel, spit it out.
Do you have something
to say to me or not?
I want to go back to the table.
Where can I buy shoes
like that?
You've got to be kidding me.
That's what you... that's what
you dragged me here for?
Yeah.
They're too expensive
for you, kiddo..
That's what I thought.
Oh, boy.
Oh, I am going to miss
that car.
Okay.
So how is everybody?
This is a great dinner.
Look, I know that this
is a celebration for me...
I love you.
For my 70th birthday,
and I really appreciate it,
but at this point, I just want
to make a toast.
To my fabulous son Nate,
And the great success
he's having
with his book, Peep World.
Congratulations, Nate.
You did it, kid.
Thanks, Dad.
Oh, pardon me if I don't toast
to a man who's ruined my life.
And I don't know how
any of you...
I ruined your life?
And what did I do?
Did I make you more unemployed?
More dysfunctional?
More fucked up?
You stabbed us all
in the back, you motherfucker.
You're a fucking bitch, okay?
You honestly have wasted
your entire life
being an asshole.
Look at yourself
in the mirror.
You look like a fucked-up
version of Amy Winehouse..
Nate!
Cheri!
Just save your drama
for the stage,
where you don't get paid.
And you stop laughing.
It's not funny.
I want to tell you
something, Nate.
I want you to be proud
of yourself.
When you're successful,
there are always people
who will tear you down.
That's what they do.
It's something
that your brothers
and your sister
Wouldn't understand.
Thanks, Dad.
Everybody at the firm tells me
it's a hell of a book.
What did you think?
I haven't read it.
You haven't read it yet?
Well, come on, what do I have
to read it for?
I lived it.
You didn't read
your own son's novel?
I haven't read
my own son's novel.
But you know, obviously,
I'll get around to it.
What? What is it that you
don't understand, Nate?
You. Okay?
I don't understand you.
Can somebody please tell me
what the hell
he's talking about.
Don't worry, Nathan.
Dad's proud of you...
as long as people at the firm
are patting him on the back.
I would be just as proud
of you, Jack,
if you ever built
something substantial,
if you built a building
and I walked down the street
and I could point to it and say,
"Look at that building.
That's my kid.
My kid built that building."
Once again,
it comes back to you.
What are you saying?
You're saying I only think
about myself?
I see.
Well, then, let me
ask you something.
Who the fuck paid
for your architectural school?
Huh?
And what about your nose job,
princess?
How many nose jobs
did you have?
One, and then one
for maintenance.
Rehab. How many times?
Three.
Three times.
That's ridiculous.
I didn't near any complaints
when the cash machine was open.
Speaking of which,
Jack, how's business?
I had a nice chat today
with Brad Thomkins
Told me that your drawings
Weren't up to par.
But that's fine, not to worry.
As a favor to me, he said
he'd give you another shot.
I don't want
another shot, Dad.
My business is over.
I don't want to be
an architect anymore.
Look, Son.
Nothing is over.
Business is cyclical.
It goes in stages.
You had a few bad months.
That's okay.
You just...
you gotta stick to it.
Why?
Because it's yours.
But I don't want it, Dad.
My heart is not in it.
I don't think it ever was.
Okay, fine.
Fine.
Let's eat.
Come on.
No problem.
I just want to know one thing.
What are you gonna do
about money?
I don't know.
You don't know.
That's great.
I have news for you.
Being a father is expensive.
No kidding.
I'm surprised
you're even having a kid,
because as far back
as I can recall,
you never had any balls at all.
Ooh.
Henry, that's enough!
Mom.
Mom, it's okay.
I'm okay.
I didn't raise my kids
to be quitters
You didn't raise us
at all, Dad.
God.
I may never make as much money
as you, Dad,
but I know one thing.
I'll be a better father
than you ever were.
Give me a break.
That's right;
walk away.
That's right, Jackie boy.
Leave. Walk away.
Come on, Laura.
Don't worry
about the business.
Deep down, he's just like me.
No, Henry.
He's nothing like you.
Another petit Syrah?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Wrong time.
Can I get a shot of something?
Anything.
You okay?
He'll get over it.
I don't care.
For the first time in my life,
I honestly don't give a shit
what my family thinks about me.
How's that feel?
Fucking fantastic.
All I care about is us.
And the baby.
Laura, I'm sorry.
For everything.
I don't know how,
but I promise you
I'll make it work.
We'll make it work.
Ugh.
Mm.
Do we have to go back
in there?
Yeah, I'm hungry.
Ephraim, I'm bored.
What the hell are you doing?
Put it away.
Hey, slow down.
You're gonna make yourself sick.
Okay.
In the spirit of goodwill,
I just want
to ask you something.
What do you want from me?
What do you want?
You want me to tell you
what a bastard I've been?
Why I didn't go
to your stupid hockey games?
Or why I didn't come
to your dance recitals?
Okay.
I'll say it.
I'm sorry.
There. I said it.
All right?
Do you feel better?
I think we should go.
Let's go.
You hear that?
You see the way
she takes care of me.
Come here, sweetheart.
Ugh.
We're gonna have a baby.
Are you kidding me?
Wait.. What?
Amy's pregnant.
- L'Chaim..
- What?
How far along are you?
You're having a baby?
Again?
You're, like, 100 years old.
You're gonna have a kid?
No. Hey!
I have something
to say to you guys.
You should be happy
for yourfather..
You know what,
you all talk about him like
he's some sort of a monster.
I mean did he...
did he hit you?
Did he molest you or something?
No, he didn't..
The only thing ne's guilty of
is being successful.
Your father is
the most generous,
kind, thoughtful,
sincere man I have ever met
in my entire life.
And I'm just really sorry
you all can't see him like that.
Amen.
And that is why I love her.
I'm gonna be sick.
- Stop kissing her.
- I'm gonna be sick.
And as far as you people
are concerned,
I want to tell you something.
You want to know who to blame
for your shitty lives?
Blame yourselves,
because I am sick and tired
of your Whining
and your complaining.
Your lives would have been
miraculous
if I hadn't been your father.
Well, bullshit.
You don't like being part
of my family,
go find your own family.
Okay?
Goddamned spoiled brat kids.
I know. I know.
You're just jealous
of my Will.
Daddy, nobody's interested
in your will..
We want you to live
a long, happy life.
Not that will.
What is wrong with you?
How old are you?
Not my... that will.
My will to live,
my life,
any damn way I please.
Are you ever gonna grow up?
Shut up.
Shut up!
All my life, I've been listening
to your fighting
You hate her.
She hates you.
You all hate your father.
Not once did any of you have
the common courtesy
to ask me how I felt,
the pain that I
was going through.
Well, now you're all gonna
hear about it.
Honey? He's choking!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
He's choking!
Daddy!
Jack!
Henry!
Make him stop the choking!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Henry.
Call an ambulance.
Help!
- Oh, my God.
- Dad?
Daddy?
- Dad.
- Dad.
Henry, Henry?
Henry, can you hear me?
I don't know.
- Please.
- Call 911.
Does he have a pulse?
Dad, can you hear me?
Henry.
Dad.
I got the big boy rims
On the big boy Whip
I got the big boy rims
On the big boy Whip
I got them big boy rims
On the big boy Whip
I got the big boy rims
On the big boy Whip
I got them big boys rim
On the big boy Whip
Doctor Calder, please,
for emergency.
Nathan,
why don't you sit down?
I can't..
There are consequences.
You know,
there's a price to pay.
What did you say?
I'm saying it's karma, Nate.
You... you caused a lot of pain,
and you caused
a lot of suffering,
and now there's a price.
So my book brought this on?
Is that what you're saying?
Know what,
fuck you, Cheri.
Hey, guys.
This is not the time.
Nathan, you're not responsible
for what happened to dad.
Cheri, come on.
That was pretty hurtful
what you did, Nathan.
I tried reading Peep World,
and I had to put it down.
It was like looking at...
a bad photograph of yourself
or hearing your voice
on a tape recorder
for the very first time.
Pshh, only worse.
I did finish it eventually,
but it hurt.
And it still hurts.
And you want to know
the worst thing?
You're my brother,
and you see me as a joke,
a fat one, a fool.
I expected more from you, Nate.
I'm not angry.
I'm telling you.
It hurt.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm still gonna sue.
Dr. Reidl, please call 600.
Dr. Reidl, cab' 600.
Not now.
Well, now would be
a good time.
I know.
But it's just so jangly.
It's too much.
Okay, okay.
What are we gonna do
if he dies?
We'll live.
Are you the Meyerwitz family?
Yes.
Even though
it was never his intention,
Henry Meyerwitz
had finally brought
his family together.
It nearly killed him.