(Gospel music playing)
Woman: Yes, sir!
(Choir whooping)
Say it now!
Wade:
I'm gonna teach this.
Woman: All right, now. Teach
it and preach it, brother!
Wade:
There comes a time...
Woman: Mmm-hmm. Amen.
Wade:
... In everyone's life
when you have to
express yourself.
Woman: Mmm-hmm.
Holding feelings inside
makes us do strange things.
Can I get a witness?
Now, Jimmy over there
has shared with the group.
And that's good.
Nothing to be ashamed of here.
Woman: Yes, sir.
That's right.
It can happen to anybody.
No judgment over here.
(Children giggling)
Have I peed on myself before?
Hell, yeah, children!
(Children giggling)
Was it an accident? Yes.
Okay, sometimes I
did it on purpose,
but that's what
we're getting to.
We're learning
you don't have to
pee on something.
You can use your words.
Your words have power.
More power than your pee.
You've got to speak it,
don't leak it.
That's what this
song is telling you.
Speak it, don't leak it.
# Get up and dance!
You totally can
# speak it, don't leak it
# don't keep
your feelings secret
# say it, don't spray it
# that's how
the big kids play it
# don't you repress it now
# express yourself
# so if you're
thinking about that number of
# there ain't no
curin' in that urine
# speak it, don't leak it
(vocalizing)
(Children cheering)
Ha ha!
Hey!
Grace peeples.
How are you?
Baby, I'm good.
Did you try leak it?
Yeah.
And?
They loved it.
Agh! Honey, you're like
the kid whisperer. Right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Their little
hands were clapping. Mmm.
You're amazing.
Thank you.
They're so lucky to have you.
Mmm.
Do you want a snack?
You're the best, babe.
No. I...
(Groans)
What?
Babe. I had plans
for us this weekend.
I bought a new suit. I was gonna
give you some ebony elegance.
No. We have been through this.
This is a non-negotiable with daddy.
It's Moby dick day.
I have to go.
Okay, you know
how crazy that sounds, right?
Yes. But it's the whole town.
We all get together.
We recite from the novel. We bless
the fishermen. It's a whole thing.
So if it's big dick day, why aren't
I going? Shouldn't I be there?
I didn't say it was big.
So it's little dick day. You're going
all the way out there for little...
Okay. You have to stop.
I'm telling you,
you would not like it.
It's boring,
it's cold, it's...
Grace! It's been a year.
It's time I met your folks.
You get that
little eyebrow thing
when you're mad at me.
It's very cute.
No. No. Stop.
And it makes you
very much delicious.
No. I'm not making sweet
precious love to you
until you share
the chocolate Kennedys.
We are not
the chocolate Kennedys.
I don't like it when
you say that, wade!
This is about your dad.
What about him?
You empower him.
No, I confer.
I confer with him.
He's a federal judge.
(Scoffs) You're a lawyer
with the united nations.
But you need a permission slip
signed by daddy so I can be your man.
(Chuckling) Oh!
Peanuts! Ah!
What?
Peanuts!
No, no, no.
How are you gonna
use the safe word?
I can't come
against the safe word.
You agreed to the safe word.
"Peanuts" means end of discussion. Yes?
But we talked...
De-ba-ta.
Hmph. Fine. Go on. Be with your
peeples. I got peoples, too.
Wade?
What?
I will be back
before you know it.
Mmm-hmm.
And do you know why?
Because I love you.
Wanna take me to the jitney?
Sure.
Doctor, how is Amanda?
Unfortunately, Amanda
suffered quite a lot of damage.
I'm gonna need to keep her
for about a week.
Agh!
I hate this part of my job.
Here's my card.
Call me if you need
anything.
(Sighs)
That's so generous of you.
I know.
Hello. Let's prep
Amanda for surgery. Nurse.
Don't take my baby!
Agh! Son of a...
Fix her!
(Grunts angrily)
Good thing you're
in the hospital.
What are you doing here?
Ah. Just came, you know, hang out,
see what you want to do this weekend.
Hang out? What about grace? Thought
Saturday was the big proposal day.
(Groans) She's away at
sag harbor with her family.
Without you?
Yeah. You know,
no big deal. Whatever.
So what are you supposed
to do this weekend,
just sit there looking stupid with
grandma's ring sitting in your pocket?
How did you know
it was in my pocket?
Because it's been there
for the last three months.
Look, I love grace.
You know I love grace.
But this is some
highly suspect shit!
Why is everything
about betrayal with you?
You know what?
You never got over
seeing mom in bed
with Mr. Andy.
Don't talk about Mr. Andy.
Okay? I had to watch my troop
leader doing very unspeakable acts
while wearing my merit
sash. That's not right.
Look, answer me this.
What are you supposed to do?
I don't know, man.
All right.
You're gonna postpone your
wedding proposal yet again,
all for the sake
of big dog daddy.
I mean, the power
distribution is way off.
It's like she can't make a
move without daddy, you know?
She puts him on
some kind of pedestal.
On a freaking
pedestal, man.
Look, you are just
as good as him.
Mmm-hmm.
I mean,
maybe not as good,
because he's a federal judge, and
you sing songs about urine to minors,
but people love you.
People do love me.
You're right.
Maybe I should
just go out there.
Go!
Meet the family.
Yeah.
They love me.
I love them.
Black love.
I pick the perfect time to propose
in front of
daddy and everybody.
That's what's up.
Okay? That sets the tone.
Handle your business,
big bro.
That's exactly
what I'm gonna do.
Bro, but wait, man.
Can we talk, man?
You can't just
bring up Mr. Andy
and then walk away.
That's just...
There is no merit badge
for what they were doing.
Driver: Watch your step, sir.
Here you go.
Hey, man! Taxi!
I'm trying to get to judge
peeples' house. Can you take me?
That's a private road. The closest
you're gonna get is on that.
Oh, God.
Oh, God. Oh, God. (Groans)
Oh...
(Belches)
(Dog barks)
Hello?
(World music playing)
(Yelling)
What in God's name...
Don't run or present your
hindquarters to the dog.
You're gonna set off
his instinct to mate.
(Yelps)
Well, now you're
having puppies.
Wade: Get this dog!
Aaah!
Please, somebody, help me!
Help me!
Just relax!
He's getting to know you.
Wade: This dog
is doing it to me!
Banneker, off!
I told you not to run.
Wade: Man!
I was just trying to live.
We usually have him leashed
when we're expecting visitors.
Are you okay?
Well, this isn't exactly
how I planned to meet you two,
but I'm wade.
(Chuckles)
Hey.
Virgil peeples.
Daphne peeples.
Can we help you?
I'm wade.
Wade Walker.
I was hoping to
surprise grace.
You know our Gracie?
Yeah.
(Chuckling) Grace and I have
been... Grace: (Yelling) Peanuts!
Peanuts! Peanuts! Peanuts!
Peanuts! Peanuts!
Hi.
Hey.
Hey.
(Chuckles)
This gentleman just washed
ashore, and he says he knows you.
Yes.
This is wade Walker,
everybody.
Guilty.
Yeah, and he's my friend.
Daphne: Oh, how
wonderful. (Chuckles) Yeah.
And also,
he and I,
we see each other.
And we are...
We are in a relationship.
(Chuckling)
(All chuckling)
Awkward.
Virgil: Excuse me.
A relationship?
Grace: Yeah.
Dad, I'm sure I mentioned
I was seeing a wade.
No. No, I don't remember that.
Yeah.
Virgil: I don't recall a relationship
or a wade. I'd recall that.
Well, that's wonderful, and he's
here now, and that's all that matters.
That is correct.
(Chuckles)
What a surprise. Right?
I'm Gloria, grace's sister.
Of course! I watch... We
watch you all the time on CNN.
Cool. This is my friend, Meg.
She's the reason you can watch me.
Hey, I'm
the camerawoman.
(Chuckles) Wow. Grace has told
me so much about all of you.
Where's Simon?
Simon!
Grace...
Additional trials
on the cybotic helmet prove
that instrument can
isolate thought commands,
such as left,
right, stop, go...
Grace: Simon!
...but can also pick up on emotional
states, such as anger and anxiety.
Grace: Simon!
Will any of this
help me to get laid? No.
Just a minute!
What?
This is my
little brother, Simon.
I'm 16.
What's up, si?
Simon: Yeah.
Yeah. Okay. Si. All right.
Yeah!
So, I guess we
should get you settled.
He's staying?
Last jitney's gone, dad. Be nice.
Well, there's
several other options.
There's a bed and breakfast
a couple of towns over.
Yeah, I could just get
a hotel. It's no problem.
No, no, no.
That's ridiculous.
Uh-oh.
(Imitates whipping)
(Chuckles)
Simon will come
down to get your bags
to take you over
to the guesthouse.
Because that's
where you're staying.
Grace knows good and well
she didn't tell me about this.
Daphne: Honey,
she can hear you.
Okay, let's see
how you like it, hmm?
Okay, very good.
Good. Yup.
(Clears throat)
(Whispering) Come on!
Wow!
Yeah.
That was interesting.
What?
They have no idea who I am. Who?
Grace!
Your mama, your daddy,
your sister, your dog.
(Shushing)
Hey!
What's up?
Hey, si.
It's a pleasure, man.
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah, I'll get this for you.
Wade: Oh, that's a grown
sexy watch right there.
Nice.
You know.
(Chuckles)
Thank you, Simon.
Yeah, whatever. It's "si. "
It's pretty obvious to me your
father does not want me here,
which messes up
my whole plan.
What plan?
What?
Never mind. Come here.
No, baby, look...
Maybe I should just go.
No, no. You can't go. If you go,
you'll forever be wade the quitter.
It's fine. We can do this. We're a team.
(Sighs)
(Whispering)
Whoa.
Why are you
acting like we're on
some commando
mission or something?
This is just me
meeting your family.
I know. Look, I'm sorry. I
just want you to be comfortable.
Comfortable? You said this
was a weekend beach house.
It is.
Listen to me, okay? These are
some tips for dealing with daddy.
Number one.
Don't assume every question is
hostile. Although most probably are.
Number two. If he touches on a
subject that is uncomfortable,
don't look away.
Stay engaged.
Look him dead in his eye. Just tell
him exactly what he wants to hear.
Are you serious right now?
Yes.
Okay, you know
I believe in honesty.
I do, too.
Honey, all I'm saying is,
think about
maybe what he might
want you to say,
and then say that.
(Chuckles)
You're gonna be great.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Oh, let me get that
for you, Mr. peeples.
Judge.
You have a beautiful home.
Thank you.
So, you live
in the city, wade?
Yes.
Near Gracie's
new place?
Uh-huh. Yeah.
Very close. Very close.
Daphne: Oh, excellent.
You know,
we were just there...
When was it, Virgil?
Last month?
Really?
Yeah. Yeah. I think you
were in class or...
Oh, good for you. You know, I say
never ever stop learning. (Chuckles)
My dream is to earn a
doctorate in child psychology.
So you have
a master's degree?
No, no.
I play music at kids' parties, and I
kind of fell into giving them advice.
Wade uses music to help
kids express themselves.
He helps them solve emotional
problems. It's really amazing work.
So you're not even licensed?
(Chuckles) No. That's why I
call it "kounseling" with a "k. "
Because the "k"
looks different.
That's wonderful! Oh, wade, I'd
love to hear one of your songs.
Ah, no.
Mom, no, he just got here.
So don't...
I'm sure he can handle it.
And I say "kan" with a "k. "
(All laugh)
Good one,
Mr. peeples.
Judge.
Come on, wade.
Impress us.
(Chuckling)
All right. Okay.
This is a little something.
It's not my best,
but it's a song about teaching
kids to express themselves
rather than urinate on stuff.
Sounds timeless.
(Wade clears throat)
# Speak it, don't leak it
# don't keep
your feelings secret
# say it, don't spray it
you get it? Because you say
it instead of spraying it.
You talk
instead of urinating.
# That's how
the big kids play it
# don't repress it, express it
# it ain't no
crime to confess it
you're a judge.
You know it ain't no crime.
# And if you're
thinking of that number one
# there ain't no
curin' in that urine
# speak it, don't leak it
and that's it,
just a little of that.
(Applauding)
It's really catchy.
Yo, yo, yo. You want to
pop this bottle of bub?
That is not "bub," and what
are you doing with that?
It's wade's.
You went through
his stuff?
Chill, Godzilla.
The bag was open.
It's quite all right.
It's actually...
If I may.
I brought this for Daphne.
It's a thank you
for welcoming me
into your home.
Oh, wade,
you shouldn't have.
Oh, my God. It's a '96
chateau d'yquem. (Chuckles)
That was a good year.
That was a very good year.
Wade: I'm so glad you like it.
I'm sorry, mom.
He doesn't know.
Doesn't know what?
She's in aa.
Why didn't you tell me?
Uh, I'll take that, honey.
I got it.
I got it. I got it.
Right. (Laughs)
Okay.
The kids can have it with
dinner. It will be divine.
Speaking of dinner,
it's time to pick
up the lobsters.
Grace: Yes. Okay.
I've got the bikes all ready.
Unfortunately, wade,
we do not have a spare,
so you can stay here
and clean my dinghy.
No, no.
Honey, take my trike.
I'm gonna do
a little gardening.
Gracie, help your
father at the market.
Of course.
Virgil: Bringing alcohol
up in my house.
Simon: He doesn't
know us like that.
(Whispering) You hid my stuff?
No.
When they came, you hid it?
No!
I was wondering, because I got
there, and nothing was in its place.
I was just organizing it.
You organized it
right out of sight.
Let's go
to the market.
Let's go.
Let's go to the market.
Let's go, peeples!
Think they got
fresh lobsters in today.
Ah, I hope so.
Wade: You know, I noticed it
looked like rain on my way in here.
What?
Grace: Uh, we don't say that.
It's sort of
a family jinx thing.
We never say it's
going to "you know,"
because then it
definitely will.
Sorry. It doesn't look
like rain. I take it back.
You can't take it back, wade,
because it's already out there.
Raincoats, everyone.
No, no, no.
I take it back.
I stand by my
reverse of the curse.
All right?
It's not gonna rain.
Rain-jinxed the whole weekend.
These are beautiful.
Put them on ice for me.
You getting some
dessert for us?
Gloria: Why not?
Meg: Mmm-hmm.
Grace peeples!
(Chuckles) In the house!
Skip.
Hi.
How are you?
I'm fantastic.
Wow.
Oh, this is my boyfriend,
wade Walker.
Skip Snyder.
Nice to meet you.
Virgil: Uh, grace?
Yeah. Will I see
you at Moby dick day?
Wouldn't miss it.
Okay. Good.
I'll be right back, wade.
You a friend of
Virgil peeples?
No. We dated.
You dated
Virgil peeples?
No, of course not.
I was like, "I didn't know
you got down like that. "
I dated grace.
She was incredible.
So passionate.
Really hurt so good!
(Chuckles)
Virgil peeples'
daughter grace?
Yeah. Little chocolate drop
right over there. Mmm mmm mmm!
Hey! Martin!
Hello.
Chump.
I took grace from him, and
he's still sour-graping.
(Chuckling)
You're a lucky man.
Lord have mercy!
I used to... mmm mmm!
You're blessed.
Bananas?
Is it ripe enough for you?
Okay.
Woman: Will I see you tonight?
I'll be there.
And you're sure
Daphne doesn't know?
Doesn't have a clue.
Could be fun
to include her.
You're kidding, right?
You have to ease
her into it, Virgil.
Let's just keep this
between me and you.
Don't be such a tight-ass.
I'll see you tonight.
(Register beeping)
Cashier: $206.19.
Oh, shit.
I don't have any money.
What's the holdup?
He doesn't have any money,
Mrs. Davis.
Huh?
He doesn't have
any money!
Oh, how sad. The colored
boy doesn't have any money.
I know where's the beef didn't
just call me "a colored boy. "
That's a lot of
walk-around money.
You've probably
got Oprah dollars.
Keep the change, wade.
It's not that
I don't have money.
It's misplaced right now. I
don't know what happened to it.
It's probably on the... I could
have left my wallet on the jitney.
Damn.
Well, they won't
help themselves.
Hey, babe.
Hey.
So, skip was interesting.
Yeah.
He's great, isn't he?
So great.
He said the craziest
thing, though. What's that?
He said that y'all
two used to date.
Yeah. That's right.
For real?
Yeah.
Don't you think you should
have said something to me?
What... do I know about every
single woman that you've dated?
No, you don't.
Okay.
But if I had
dated Harriet Tubman,
I probably would
have said something.
If I was texting
madam c. J. Walker.
Wade...
Or Shirley Chisholm.
So this is about age?
Yeah.
He is a brilliant doctor.
I'm sure he is.
He probably gave
Adam and Eve
their first physicals.
Wow! An ageist. I thought you
were more mature than that.
I should be more mature?
Yeah.
Like Martin?
Who told you about Martin?
Oh, I met Uncle Ben and Bojangles
up in there... Oh. (Chuckles) Wow.
...at the national black
history month caucus.
It was all up in there.
All your little grandpa exes
came dancing up out of the crypt.
Grace: Enough.
Like thriller.
(Vocalizing)
Got me on this damn bike
like I'm three years old.
Who else you go
out with, grace?
Benjamin Banneker?
W.E.B. Du bois?
Grace: Okay, wade.
Wade: George Washington carver?
You and booker t. Was a thing?
# "Let my people go"
grace: Okay.
Run, chickens, run!
Hey, what does that mean?
It's a thing that we've done
since we were kids.
Dad says,
"run, chickens, run,"
and the first one
to get home wins.
Wins what?
Just wins, babe.
That's the point with dad.
You should try to win.
Daddy likes a winner?
Go! Go!
Do it!
I'm gone!
Get him, babe!
Watch out.
See y'all!
Trying to impress Virgil.
Aren't we all?
(Honking horn)
Go, go, go, babe!
I'll get you now,
Mr. peeples!
(Growls)
(Panting)
Hey, hey, yeah.
(Groans)
(Thunder rumbling)
Do you have a mop?
Here's your tea.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Did I really
cause the rain?
Don't worry about it.
It's clearing up.
Mmm.
Oh, wow.
That's quite a headpiece.
Let me ask you,
did you get that directly
from outer space
or was there a middle man?
A Martian broker?
(Chuckles)
Come on, now. It was the '70s.
Bowie was to blame for those outfits.
Ah, bowie, okay.
Oh.
Are you lady divine?
You heard of me?
As young as you are?
Heard of you? So gone sucka
was my mama's break-up anthem.
Every time I heard that, I knew
somebody was getting the ax.
Stop. I love that.
(Both chuckle)
Oh. And y'all...
You ladies were...
What?
Y'all were kind of nasty.
No.
That song turn you on, shoot.
# Ooh ahh
I'm gonna give you some!
# Ooh ahh
I'm loving your vibe! #
you know the words?
Yes, yes. Oh, wow.
Hah, do you miss it?
I don't know. It was
a million years ago.
But it's such a big
part of who you are.
Yeah.
Well, I guess you're right.
You know,
I never would have guessed
that my first
album was my last,
because singing
was everything to me.
But with the kids
and Virgil's career,
it just became too much
to balance, you know?
But that's cool.
That's life.
Oh, my God.
Is this Virgil?
Daphne: With his fine self.
(Chuckles)
He put himself through
law school playing clubs.
No, like Ashford & Simpson?
Look here.
Look at my little Gracie.
She looks different.
Yeah. That was before
she got the boobies.
She what?
You know.
You didn't know?
Oh, baby, now I don't mean
to get up in your business,
but how did you not know?
I mean, you don't...
She doesn't...
Yes, yes,
I just... I don't...
I don't know
how I missed that.
Yeah. I don't either.
You know, all the women in
my family are quite buxom.
And Gloria over there, she got
the family heirlooms, so to speak,
and all the male attention
when they were growing up.
Poor grace. Her being so
competitive, she couldn't accept it.
So a couple of
summers ago...
Okay, you two. Dinner's ready.
What?
Nothing.
Mom, you look
great in that blouse.
Thanks, honey. (Chuckles)
Grace: From where?
I'm sorry, wade. I forgot
to set a place for you.
Wade: Thank you.
Gloria: Everything
seems so pretty.
Enjoying the spread
set before you, wade?
Wade, you are in for a treat.
Virgil has made his lobster Risotto.
Grace: Love
daddy's lobster Risotto.
Gloria: Daddy's best dish.
You're a chef, huh?
It looks incredible.
Thank you.
I took up cooking and a couple of
other hobbies to blow off steam.
Yeah, we had a real scare
with Virgil last spring.
What happened?
Heart attack.
No.
The only thing I thought about
on that table was my family.
And when I opened my eyes,
there she was, my little angel.
I love you, grace.
I love you, dad.
Sorry I was
embedded in Iraq last year.
I suppose the world could
have waited for those reports.
I love all my children.
Daddy has no favorites.
(Sighs)
You know,
in my family at dinnertime,
we like to go around the room
and say something we love
about each person.
Wade, that's a beautiful idea.
I'll start.
With Simon.
My sweet little Simon.
You know what I love? The way
you always look out for others.
Whenever someone has lost their
purse or their credit card,
you always seem to
be the one to find it.
(Chuckles)
I love you.
I love you, too.
That was wonderful, Daphne.
Thank you.
Your turn, si.
Well, I guess wade.
I appreciate how
you sensed my swag.
When you came in,
you called me "si. "
Thanks, man.
Yeah.
It's interesting,
because Virgil knew
I was gonna grow up
to be a black man.
The odds were
pretty strong at birth.
But somehow he managed
to name me Simon.
Simon Latimer peeples.
Lewis Latimer was
a black man who helped
Thomas Edison
invent the lightbulb.
That's true. But you can't use
that up in the club, you know.
(Chuckling)
Yes!
What club?
You know, dance club.
No, I don't know.
Okay, well, the point is
you can just call me si now.
Okay? Si. Everybody get that?
All right.
They got it, buddy. Si.
I'd like to do Gloria.
(Coughs)
Wade, I'm glad you asked this. I
actually have something prepared.
# Gloria!
(Dog howling)
Marvelous voice, Meg.
Thank you, judge.
Gloria, Gloria, Gloria.
Gloria, I love it when we've
had a long day on location,
and we decide to have
a nice dinner situation,
and before I see you,
(sniffing deeply)
I smell that perfume.
The one from Morocco.
Thank you. That's enough.
Back to you, dad.
Shh, not done, not done.
And then you walk across the hotel
lobby wearing that burgundy dress,
the one with the back out.
Blow that back out!
Back out.
And I can just barely see
where the curve of your form...
Dad's Risotto is getting cold.
We should probably just dig in...
No, no. Continue, Meg.
Dad?
I'm sorry. Let's eat.
If I may?
I just want to say
how thankful I am
to be here with you right now
at this time in my life,
with grace.
You raised a remarkable woman, and
I learn from her every single day.
One of the things
I learned is that
no matter what, the universe
provides all you need.
I think this is
the perfect time.
Wade, you certainly are a man who
believes in the universe providing.
Like today in the market.
Say what?
What happened at the market?
Virgil: Well,
wade didn't have any money.
But he had the faith to stand in
line with only lint in his pockets.
Then I came along, and I paid.
So I guess that makes me
the universe. Right, wade?
Honorable peeples...
Judge.
What had happened was, see, I was
there, and I didn't have my wallet.
Matter of fact, if you
came two seconds earlier,
you'd see me, I'm like,
"where did my wallet go?"
I don't know what happened to
it, but I was looking for it.
I don't know. (Chuckling)
Maybe si can help me find it.
What? Why are you
flipping on me?
I thought we were cool.
I'm not flipping on you.
You trying to say
I stole your wallet?
No, no, no.
Daphne said that...
No, bro, you don't know
me like that, all right?
You can get that
"clack clack" all day.
It's "click clack. "
Simon.
It's si!
You know,
I got a perfect score
on my math sat!
It was perfect.
Perfect? I got like a 250.
He's pretty smart.
But the essay... ahhh.
Oh, who do I have to be now?
Lewis Latimer and Langston Hughes?
I got cred in the streets of
sag harbor, dad! Don't test me!
Am I asking for too much?
I had to be
Thurgood Marshall
and John Coltrane.
And I'm about to be
Muhammad Ali up in here!
Simon: I break stuff,
I go so hard.
Dad, mom, it's out of control.
Well, honey, what can I say?
He's my change of life baby.
I'm so exhausted.
Well, your little exercise really
brought the family together.
Thank you, wade.
Grace: All right.
(Speaking Spanish)
As pleasant as this has all
been, I really should get going.
No!
Daddy picked his
saxophone back up.
He's playing at
the lusty sea hag.
Well, we should all go.
No, no, no.
A peeples never shows
his hand to family
until it's perfect.
You don't have to be
perfect for family.
Yes, you do.
Yes, you do.
All right, good night.
Good night, daddy.
Good night, grace.
Good night, Mr. peeples.
Good night, wade.
You know,
I think I'm gonna turn in.
Me, too. If I can.
Oh, mom, wade has insomnia.
I know just the thing.
Daughter.
Told you. Mom's into
alternative medicine.
Now, you are gonna love this.
And I think I'm
gonna join you.
Here you go.
You be a lifesaver.
Cheers.
It's all natural.
Everything I need is out
in that garden out there.
This will take the edge off.
You know what?
It smells like it's...
No, no, I put together a
very, very herbaceous mix.
Sleep tight.
(Giggles)
Got it, little girl?
Yup.
Good night, baby.
Good night.
Grace's dad is a little hard to
connect with, but we'll figure it out.
I'm just trying to find
the right time to propose.
Well, you know, just relax.
Wade: I'm relaxed.
Grace's mom gave me something.
Smells like weed.
Really?
Good stuff?
Rich people stuff?
Wade: Ma Dukes was on
the soul train.
Look, just talk
to dad one-on-one.
He went to this
club to play music.
Oh, that's perfect.
Just go over there, listen to some
music, have a couple of drinks, talk.
Like, you know, just two guys.
Wade: You're right. We've got
common ground. We both love grace.
I could show him the ring.
There you go.
He'll see how serious I am.
Perfect!
Chris: Also find out how
the other women look there.
Rich and fine like grace,
or rich and husky,
like they sit on pillows
eating Turkey legs all day.
Hello?
(Jazz music playing)
Bartender:
Here you go, Smokey.
Hey, when does
Virgil peeples go on?
Judge peeples?
Yeah.
He's a judge, so why
would he be playing here?
I just thought...
(Singing loudly)
Excuse me.
Oh, God.
What are you doing here?
Nothing.
Woman:
This is a private beach.
My fault. Okay.
Hmm.
You'd be a damn
good humpback.
I could use a partner like you
in the three-legged race.
Is that why they
call this sag harbor?
Virgil: Here comes the judge!
Party time!
Ahh!
Court is in session!
(Laughing)
And I'm free! Yes.
I'm coming!
(Whoops)
All right!
The gavel's coming down!
Wade: Oh, oh.
God dang!
Why I gotta see his balls?
Get that out of your head! Get the
man's balls out of your head, wade!
Gloria: Pay up.
(Laughing)
Did you see that shot?
Thank you very much.
Hey, wade.
Hey.
You want next? I've already
taken all Meg's money.
Come on in, wade.
It's your break.
You know,
I think I'm just gonna go
to the guesthouse
and get some sleep.
Where you coming from?
Getting some air.
You saw us at
the market today, didn't you?
Can we ever really trust what
I see? I mean, really? No.
So, Gloria is supposed to come
out to her family this weekend,
but she's scared of Virgil.
So you seeing us is a problem.
I'm not scared, okay?
I'm waiting
for the right time.
There is a difference.
Please, Gloria. What's the big
deal? Everybody's gay. Ellen's gay.
Ellen has an entire network
of people who love her.
The Virgil peeples
network is a lot different.
Virgil might be more
open-minded than you think.
Well, once I'm sure
that this isn't some phase,
that I'm actually gay, then
I'll come out. Not before.
Okay. You know what? You're a
therapist, wade. Talk to her.
I just... I'm not
technically a therapist.
I teach children about not
peeing on their parents'...
Wade, talk to her.
When you are having
sex with someone,
is that person
of the same sex?
Yes.
Ding.
When was the last time you met
a person of the opposite sex
and wanted to have
sex with that person?
Let me think.
Maybe their cologne
or whatever turns you on.
Their nice
manly chest muscles.
Penis.
Never. Get to the part where
you tell her she's gay, wade.
Sexuality can be
very ambiguous.
Many times,
no one category can...
Dude, just tell her.
You're gay.
Ding.
Oh! Thank God. I was worried.
Oh.
What are you wearing?
My Lincoln prep uniform.
Like it?
I found it in the attic.
It's cute.
(Chuckles)
You could pretend
to be more excited.
(Sighs)
I'm sorry, baby.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Just went for a walk.
I saw some things.
Then I was over at the house
talking to Meg and Gloria
about their "situation. "
What situation?
You know.
You never thought
they were...
Hmm hmm hmm.
Oh, no, no.
(Chuckles) No.
Honey, they've been besties
since rugby at Smith.
Rugby?
Yeah.
Uh...
Honey, hey.
Whoa. Okay. Honey, listen.
I know that we kind of got started
in a rough way today, right?
Mmm-hmm.
But I want to make an effort
to not go to bed angry
because you said that we're
never allowed to go to bed angry.
I'm not angry.
No, but maybe you should be
because I've been a really bad girl.
(Giggles)
Grace.
What? No.
What is it?
Don't I always tell
you how sexy you are?
All the time.
So why didn't you
tell me about those?
About my breasts?
What about them?
I know about them. I know
there was some work done.
You just mentioned nothing all
them nights I was... (Sputtering)
Honey, you thought
that these were...
That is incredible.
I've got to tell skip.
Why you gotta bring
grandpa into this?
That was how I met him,
because he was my surgeon.
Oh...
Okay.
You know what,
it's been a long day.
We're lying to your family
about living together.
We're not lying. Exactly.
We are. And you know what?
They're lying to each other.
What are you
talking about?
I'm saying I'm
the man in your life.
All right,
we shouldn't have to lie
to your family
about living together.
I ain't afraid
of judge peeples.
You are right.
And that is why I wanted
to get dressed up for you.
And I want to say that
I'm really glad you came.
And it's really perfect
having you here with my family.
Really?
Yeah.
I was wrong.
That means I've
been a bad girl.
That you should punish me,
principal Walker.
Mmm-hmm.
(Growls)
Yeah. I have been
a bad girl. Yeah.
You have been a real bad girl.
You earned yourself a big,
fat
d!
(Squeals)
(Giggling)
Who's your daddy, girl?
Who's your daddy?
Who's your daddy?
You are!
Who's your daddy?
You are!
Wade!
You're crazy!
Bad girl!
Not my baby, grace.
Gracie, Gracie, Gracie...
Mmm.
Have a good night?
Good. Yeah, it was good. You?
Mine was great.
I played at the lusty sea hag,
as I usually do, for 45 minutes,
then I came right home,
and I was out like a light.
Hmm.
Help yourself
to breakfast.
Simon: Drawers on the floor, take one.
(Rock music playing)
# I know, you know
oh girl, I know you wanna #
exciting news! The Montauk
Indians are gonna use my sage,
which is quite legendary,
for the sweat
lodge ceremony tonight.
That's great news!
The sweat lodge?
It's a ceremony
the Montauks offer
every year to
contribute to Moby dick day.
A time for men to test their
manhood. A battle of the wills.
Daphne: Virgil
goes every year.
Can't nobody sweat
longer than my Virgil.
You're my champion.
I do always win.
(Chuckles)
Manhood rites of
passage are important.
Especially in
the post-industrial age
when power
dynamics can be confusing.
That's just a little something
I picked up in sociology class.
Very true, babe.
All right, now.
Right. Like
sometimes it's hard to tell
who's the teacher
and who's the student.
Right,
grace Lorraine peeples?
Do you know of somewhere
I could check my e-mail?
Yeah, Simon's room, first
door on the right upstairs.
Got to check my e-mail.
Yeah, sure.
Tell him we leave
for Nana's in 10.
Okay.
You want me to
smell your mushroom?
Mmm-hmm.
Your mushroom smells good!
Good!
(Hip hop music playing)
# Girl, you're all talk
ever since we've been datin'
# wastin' my time,
doin' nothin' but waitin'
# you better check the real
talk when we're conversatin'
# and read my lips,
no more anticipatin'
# yeah,
what's a brother gotta do?
# Yeah,
what's a brother gotta do?
# What's a brother gotta
what's a brother gotta do?
# I know, you know
girl, I know you wanna
# got it goin' on from
your bottom to your top
# and when I get with it
i don't wanna talk shop
# so make it real clear
let me fly it non-stop
# I like the way you jiggle
in your tight tank top
# yeah,
what's a brother gotta do?
# Girl,
what's a brother gotta do?
# What's a brother gotta
what's a brother gotta do?
# I know, you know
girl, I know you wanna... #
(sighs)
Huh.
Wow.
Hey, Gracie.
(Imitating Virgil) Guilty!
Daphne:
# come on
(funky music playing)
# Hey,
baby, wanna jump in my game?
# Odds are you'll
never be the same
# when I lay down
what you been missin'
# no man livin' got
a hope of resistin'
# don't need your soul
don't want your mind
# just make me feel it
when you bump and grind
# come on, come on, come on
# I know you're ready for some
# oh, yeah, baby
# I'm talkin' 'bout ooh ahh
# I'm gonna give you some
ooh ahh
# all over your body
tonight's the night
(music stops)
Wade: # you're gonna feel my heat, boy
# I got the moves to knock
you off your feet, boy #
enjoying yourself?
(Screams)
Oh, my God! You scared me.
I couldn't resist.
You like wearing
women's clothes?
No, no, no. I...
Mr. peeples...
Judge.
Judge peeples.
I'm sorry. I feel like we've
gotten off on the wrong foot here.
No offense, all right.
Didn't mean to offend anything
coming to your home.
I just...
The real reason I came here...
(Techno ringtone playing)
Excuse me.
Hello?
What?
Mmm-mmm. No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
Hey, hey, hey!
Bro! What's up?
Bro, good to see you. Excuse
me! This is a round trip!
Stop, hey, hey, no.
You've gotta go.
Look,
last time I talked to you,
you were all
stressed out, okay.
I came here to make sure everything
got done. Did you propose?
Not yet.
But you need to leave.
What is wrong with you? Thank
God I'm here to help you.
When have you
ever helped me?
Third grade. You wanted to
make out with Monique Johnson.
I kissed you to share my
technique. That's love.
All right. You need to
leave. Okay? If you could...
Hold on, hold on.
Damn! Look at that.
Oh, shit! It is on!
These scrubs are like catnip.
She's waving at me, idiot.
That's grace's sister.
Are you serious?
Yes.
Daddy better get ready
for a double wedding.
Chris? What...
My goodness! What are
you doing here? (Chuckles)
He was just leaving.
Call me when you get to the
city, little bro. No, no!
Grace: Did you forget something? Frat!
Frat? Okay.
Ahh!
Ahh!
(Laughing)
This is my brother, Chris.
Welcome.
Thank you. That was quite a
welcome. But if you'll excuse me,
I just spent the last 26 hours in
the ER, hopped on the first jitney.
I'm gonna have to
get some rest at an inn, so...
Second generation gamma!
I'm not gonna let my frat
brother stay in an inn.
You are staying with us!
(Chuckles)
Ahh!
(Both) Ahh! Ahh!
Fly away.
Come home with us.
Okay.
Come on, grace.
Okay. Welcome.
All right.
See you there.
Grace: Okay.
Virgil: Nice surprise.
Gamma doctor in the house.
Where did you
get the sweater?
From my roommate.
Okay, you need to tell him
you are not in his frat.
Oh, hell, no. That would
make me look crazy.
Ahoy! Don't want
to be late for Nana's.
Ahoy!
(Sighs)
This is gonna be so much fun.
A woman that can handle her own
speedboat. That is a new one for me.
Gloria: I'm a control freak.
Well, like I always say, any
kind of freak is a good one.
(Both laugh)
Very nice.
Yeah.
(Chuckles) Yeah.
Mmm mmm mmm.
(Growls)
(Yelps)
Just joking, man.
Welcome. All right.
All right.
Doctor, huh?
Grace: Okay, here's the thing about
my granddad. You're gonna love him,
but he's always pressuring me
about marriage.
So just avoid that discussion.
Avoid.
Mmm-hmm.
Hello?
Hi! Granddad, this is my wade.
Wade, granddad.
It's a pleasure
to meet you, sir.
You, too, sir.
This house is
absolutely incredible.
Thank you. I nailed every
board, laid every brick.
You built this by hand?
In life, build everything by
hand and heart. Remember that!
That's my dad's motto.
(Grunts)
When will you ever learn?
You've got to stay ready.
I'm surprised
you even remembered my motto.
Course I do.
Virgil could have been
the first black president,
but he didn't ever
listen growing up.
Virgil: I think
I did all right.
Of course, of course. Judge
is just the same as president.
Well, minus the honor,
the white house and the power.
I see you, you know. I see you
checking out my granddaughter.
Well, no disrespect,
Nana, but she is fine.
Nana: I just wouldn't want
you to be disappointed.
Come on, Nana. Don't
you think I'm handsome?
Oh, I think you're charming.
But Gloria is...
Uh, she's...
She's that way.
What way?
The gay way.
No!
Yes.
Nana.
Yes, yes. You can see
that they're in love.
Plus, lesbians are
all over my husband's family.
Always have been. Mmm-hmm.
Chris: You'll have to
excuse my language, Nana,
but I don't give a damn
if a little girl-on-girl
action does run
in your family.
I've got to try.
She looks too good.
Checkmate.
What?
Nana: Listen,
I must be honest with you.
I just do not
understand this whole thing.
What whole thing?
This two-women thing. What kind
of pleasure is there in that?
Well, pour me a drink, I'll
tell you how it all goes down.
What?
Gonna need a couple
pairs of scissors.
A couple...
Yeah. And a wet sponge.
So what are your plans?
Uh, um, just...
It's my first time here.
So I'm gonna enjoy sag harbor,
check out Moby dick day...
No, I was talking about your
plans with my granddaughter.
Oh.
I love her
very much, sir.
Any marriage plans?
We... well, no.
Mmm-mmm.
Not right now.
We just...
I love her. She's...
We're happy just kicking it.
What's that,
"kickin' it"?
Oh, it's just an
expression. You know, like...
Not really
kicking anything.
It's just hanging out.
Chilling.
Mmm-hmm.
Well,
I suppose a man has to decide
when he wants to
stand up and be a man.
I'm...
I want... I want to.
You are a man. Yeah.
I'm a man.
Virgil: I want my daughters to know
what it's like to be with a person
who has the conviction
to plan a future
and not somebody
who just wants to "kick it. "
Actually,
I think this is
the perfect time
to talk about
plans for the future.
Gloria: Lunch is on, peeples!
Oh! Hey!
Let's get it while it's hot!
(Chuckles)
I say when the wind blows
and the trees bend,
I put my boots on,
and I walk like this.
Virgil: Yeah, my man!
Right here, daddy! (Laughing)
How does that man
keep finding that cape?
I've hidden it from him
1,000 times. (Chuckles)
I find my brother!
Virgil: Whoo!
Looks like a ghetto Hogwarts.
Both: I said we walk like this. I said
we walk like this. I call my brother...
Woo hoo!
And we walk like this!
When the lightning strikes...
Meg: Go, grandpa!
...and the thunder roars,
I find my brother.
(Whooping)
Whose brother are they gonna
find and walk like that?
I say we walk like this!
I find my brother, woo-hoo,
and we walk like this.
Both: Oh, shit.
Tough night. Look, you've
got to tell him the truth.
I'm not telling.
And we are...
Tell him. Would you
tell him? Tell him!
Why did you smack the shrimp
out of my mouth?
Tell him. Tell him.
Meg: Yeah!
Grandpa: Five. Down. Up.
Hah hah!
Step, young man! Step!
Grandpa: Come on. Let's see
what you've got, young blood.
Don't. All right?
Just don't, please?
Ahh!
(Gloria laughing)
(Grunting rhythmically)
Okay. Here we go.
What?
(Grunting)
Gloria: Let's go, Chris! Go!
Maybe you should get with
Chris. See if you're straight.
That's a great idea.
He does a mean robot.
Get with Chris. Sprint!
Okay. Well,
I could get on that. I could.
That's that new school.
Eat some shrimp or something.
Something's
wrong with that boy.
Hey, ladies and gentlemen,
we've got a diva in the house.
Miss lady divine peeples, would
you please step to the stage?
What's up?
(Playing guitar)
Wade: Everybody say "Daphne. "
Go ahead.
All: Daphne, Daphne, Daphne.
Daughters: Mom, mom, mom, mom!
It's been too long.
Yes, it has been
way too long.
Well, I hope
I remember the words.
Wade: Come on.
Okay.
(Singing off-key) # hey,
baby (All exclaim in surprise)
Wade: That's all right,
that's all right.
Nana: Try again.
Now, come on.
I'm coming back around for you.
I'm coming back around for you.
# Hey, baby,
wanna jump in my game?
# Odds are you'll
never be the same
# when I lay down
what you been missin'
# no man livin' got
a hope of resistin'
don't like him.
# Don't need your soul
don't want your mind
# just make me feel it
when you bump and grind
you know, I forgot Daphne
could move like that.
# Let me take you
where you never been ooh!
# Don't need your mind
don't want your soul
# just say you feel it
when I rock and roll
all: Ah! Ah! Whoo!
It seems it just
takes the right man
to pull it out of you.
You know?
Mom!
Well...
# All over your body
# tonight's the night
you're gonna feel my heat, by
# I got the moves to
knock you off your feet
# I'm gonna make
your heart skip that beat
# when I turn you on, oh
# any other lovers
know they can't compete
# when I turn you on
(all cheering)
Gloria: Oh, my God! You
should not have seen that!
(Daphne screams)
We have been robbed!
What?
You know those vintage diamond
earrings you bought for me
after you did that thing
I asked you not to do,
and we said we
wouldn't talk about it?
Calm down.
I went to put the rest of my
jewelry away, and they weren't there.
Okay, mother,
maybe you misplaced them.
You know how you misplace
things. Yeah, Mrs. peeples.
Oh, no, no, no!
I haven't worn them in months.
They have been in
the very same place.
Of course.
Well, what's different?
Nothing's different.
Well, I look around, and the only
thing different I see is wade.
Dad.
Wade is what is different.
Oh, Virgil,
that is so not cool.
Well, I did see him
in your closet this morning.
What were you doing
in mom's closet?
That I can explain.
Virgil, I did not
take Daphne's earrings.
Of course not, honey.
Nobody's saying that.
I think Virgil is.
And I think he's overlooking
another potential suspect.
Like who?
I don't know.
Maybe somebody without a job
who's sporting
a $16,000 watch around here.
We wear Timex.
We are Timex people!
(Watches ticking)
Why are you looking at
me like that? Like what?
Like that!
I think we should
just all turn in
(tearfully) And get a fresh
start in the morning.
Mom.
(Sobs)
Grace: Mom?
(Wails)
Grace: Mom?
Honey, we'll figure this out.
(Grunts)
Mom?
He's tripping.
Virgil's no angel.
I could tell you some things.
Like what? Freaky stuff?
Freaky rich people stuff?
For a minute, I swear, it
seemed like grace believed Virgil
when he said I
took her mom's things.
Shhh.
You know,
Nana told me about Gloria.
Told you what?
Her and Meg are together.
Like, doing it.
She told you?
You knew?
What's going on?
Si in the house.
What's up? What's up?
What is that
little scrub doing?
Wade: Simon sticky-fingers.
Oh!
He stole his momma's earring.
That's cold.
Wade: Thinks he's got to be
a thug to get respect.
See that? That's rich
people problems right there.
I should stay out of it.
You should. You should stay
out of it. But you won't.
Simon: Huh?
(In a rough voice)
What's up, fool?
Keep your head forward!
(In a deep voice) Yeah.
My father is...
Wade: I don't give a damn
who your father is!
We're your father now.
Oh, shit. Wade: You know
what I do give a damn about?
These rocks in your ear.
Oh!
Wade: Yeah.
I like these rocks.
Oh, God.
You don't need God now. You're
gonna be on your knees soon enough.
Don't take them.
Heh. They're my mom's.
You stole earrings
from your momma?
I didn't steal them.
You think stealing is a joke? No.
You'll end up in lock-up. Lock-up is hell!
(Whispering) Hell.
I know because
my sister told me.
Which sister?
My sister grace.
She was in jail
for like, three days.
And then my
father got her out.
Wade: What did this grace do?
Listen, man,
snitches get ditches. Okay?
I thought
snitches get stitches.
Nah, snitches get
ditches, because you die...
Both of you, listen!
All right?
This is what you're gonna do.
You gonna take
your little momma's
earrings back to
her jewelry box.
Okay.
Because we're watching you. Watching.
That was
always my plan.
Wade?
And Chris.
Wade: Si,
what's wrong with you?
Why are you stealing
your momma's earrings?
Man, I took them to
impress this girl,
but she isn't
looking at me no way.
Si, you're a genius.
You're smart.
You build robots
and stuff, man.
Talk about what you know.
Girls love smart guys.
That's why I'm a doctor.
Wade: Shut up.
That's not gonna work.
Explain how
I got your sister.
(Imitates explosion)
I wasn't scared, though.
I wasn't scared.
(Stammering) I just... I negotiate.
I just make sure I stay living.
I hate to say this about my
girl's dad, but he's an asshole.
Yeah!
Just a straight-up asshole.
And I haven't even mentioned
anything I've seen around here.
Not even to grace. You know? Out
of respect for his asshole ass.
Not even after he
accused me of stealing.
Not even after
I saw his balls!
I know.
Wait, you saw his balls?
Every time I close my eyes.
Look, bro, you got to
get on point, man.
You can't waste time just
deflecting man-balls, dude.
You need to go to
the house tonight
and say, "look,
I'm marrying your daughter
"with or without your
approval. " You're right.
I know I'm right.
Damn right, I'm right.
He's at the sweat lodge.
What? The sweat what?
I know exactly what I'm gonna
do. You just saved my life.
Well, I am a doctor.
A doctor.
# Ladies love the kid
what are you doing here?
I'll tell you what
I'm doing here...
Your offering, brother?
It's no free ride, wade.
You can't take a seat unless you
make an offering to the spirit gods,
which watch over
and guard this sacred teepee.
I ain't trying to
do nothing free.
Your offering will be purified
and returned to you blessed.
You do still have my change
from the supermarket, don't you?
You know what I've got?
This is what I've got.
I came here to
propose to grace.
With that chip?
My grandfather saved for
months to get this ring,
and he was
married for 62 years.
All I see is a man who can't
afford to buy his own ring.
That's not true!
You're coming in
here acting all humble,
but I see what
you really want.
You want to be
king in my castle.
I don't play chess, so I
don't get your little analogy.
Get this. This ain't
checkers, southside Willie.
Who?
As the heat rises,
we must focus our energy.
You know, you're not
the first one, wade.
Grace has brought home dozens
of men, all seeking my approval.
Mmph. The erudite lawyer,
the nerdy scientist,
skip, Martin, the twins.
The twins?
But I see them for what
they really are, phases.
You, for example,
are her loser phase.
You don't define me, Virgil.
Well, that's more like it.
Now the lion is in the forest.
What?
Man 1: Time to...
Man 2: Time out.
You getting hot?
Shh. Walk through
the flame into your manhood.
We can settle this
right now if you want.
What do you want to do, huh,
judge? What would settle this?
Well, you heard the chief. Walk
through the flame into manhood.
What? Is that supposed to
scare me? Think this is hot?
This ain't nothing but July
in my bedroom growing up.
Rama putu riki.
More coals.
A lot more!
Kumu pa tiki.
Whoa. Hey.
Hi.
I'm sorry. Am I lost?
Have sex with me.
Virgil: I am an iceberg,
crisp, frigid, frozen in
a Mountain of glassy ice.
I am a frog, swimming
in a cool, cool pond.
I am a Fluffy white snowflake
riding the icy north winds,
floating gently to the ground.
(Wade panting)
Uh...
Yeah? You like that?
Yes. Very much. Perhaps
the ear, if you could try.
I'm a 44-ounce big
gulp grape slurpee.
# Wade in the water
I'm an ice cream truck filled
with delicious, cool treats.
# Wade in the water,
children
on a hot summer day.
# Wade in the water
damn!
# Wade can't make
it without water #
I'm a cold pitcher of grape
Kool-Aid with a smiley face on it.
You know,
just a thought.
What if I were
to invite Meg in?
You know,
just to get me going.
Would that be okay?
All three of us?
It's a stupid idea. I'm
so sorry. The neck again.
No, no, no, no. You know what? (Sighs)
Go ahead, bring Meg in.
Are you sure?
Yeah, you know.
And it wouldn't be
a tremendous bother?
No, that's for you.
That's for you.
I appreciate you, Chris.
I've got you.
Okay. I'll be right back.
Okay.
(Door opens and closes)
(Squeals with excitement)
Stay cool.
# The itsy bitsy spider
went up the water spout #
(reciting Buddhist chant)
(Sobbing)
Virgil: I'm cool.
Cooler than Miles
Davis in a snowstorm.
I'm cool.
Man: Wade.
Wade, is that you, buddy?
I'm coming for you, buddy.
I'm going to win
because I'm better than you.
Our father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Virgil: Southside Willie.
(Yelling) Freedom!
Virgil: What the hell? This triangle
here done burned down the lodge!
Chief: Protect
our sacred teepee!
Virgil: Fuck the teepee,
chief! Save your ass!
Virgil: (Screams) Help me!
I'm ready.
I could just jump in.
I got my rhythm now, and I
can come in with both... Shhh.
Chris: So it can be like a team
thing, like a black three's company.
(Groans)
Hodge:
Citizens of sag harbor,
I think captain Ahab would have
more than one leg to stand on
if he were here today.
What a turnout.
This is gonna be
the best Moby dick day ever!
Back by popular demand,
I will be conducting
my live scurvy demonstration.
Photographer: Come on! You there! Come
have your photo taken! Only a dollar.
Nut vendor:
Get your salty warm nuts.
Pickle vendor:
Pickles! Nice pickles!
Grace: Hey, you made it.
Why didn't you
wake me up?
I tried to.
And Chris said he tried, too.
What's going on? Is that
soot? Where have you been?
Baby, we need to talk.
Yeah, okay, but not
until after the ceremony.
You don't look so good. Do
you want some food or a drink?
We always bring
lots of stuff.
I'm thirsty.
Virgil: Daphne,
can you get my peg-leg, baby?
All right, you sit here.
You're gonna be fine.
Huh.
Chief Oneka is
usually very fond of us.
Do you see him
glaring over here?
No.
Okay. I'll see you in a bit.
Grapes, anybody?
Hey. Remember me?
Yeah.
You don't know me.
From the beach.
You don't know me.
You don't know
them, either.
Okay.
I'm mayor Hodge.
It's nice to meet you.
For the very first time.
So,
big dick day
for Virgil, huh?
You ought to know.
What's that supposed to mean? I... shhh.
(Fanfare playing)
(Crowd applauding)
"Towards thee I roll,
"thou all-destroying
but unconquering whale.
"Speak not to me.
"I'd strike the sun
if it insulted me.
(Whimpering)
"Look ye, Starbuck.
"All visible objects
are but as pasteboard masks.
(Goats bleating) "Some
inscrutable yet yearning things
"put forth the molding
of their features. "
What's wrong with you?
Them goats.
Goats?
- You don't see them goats everywhere?
- No.
"Yet he is but a mask.
"'Tis the thing
behind the mask. "
Does the sky
look lower to you?
The sky? The sky is
where it always is.
This is the good part.
Look, look.
"Let me then be towed to
pieces while still chasing... "
Jive-ass urine singer!
What?
Virgil: Pigheaded triangle bus-head
commie-ass, ring-bringin'...
You ain't never
marrying grace! Not ever!
You talking to me?
Shhh! Sorry.
"To the last,
I grapple with thee... "
Wade...
Is he talking to me?
Is he saying, "wade"?
I'm looking at the man.
He's saying "wade. "
Grace: Shh.
He did not say "wade. "
"From hell's
heart I stab at thee. "
Let's take it outside!
We outside! What's up?
Grace: Hey, calm down!
Come on then!
Shh!
What are you doing?
Wish you would.
Stop it.
I'm right here.
Stop it, wade!
Bring it. Stabbing me?
What's
the matter with...
Please calm down, wade!
"For hate's sake, I spit
my last breath at thee... "
Wade!
Spit at me? Did he say spit...
No.
Spit at me?
Um...
I spit on you!
Grace: Stop it!
Dad, I'm so...
(Spits) Grace: Stop
it. What are you doing?
Whoa!
Daphne: Calm down, baby.
Grace: What is wrong
with you? Sorry, kids.
Maybe we should go home.
You're supposed to die now.
What?
Wade: You're supposed to die.
He's getting there.
I know the book.
You're supposed to die.
Captain Ahab!
Moby dick kills you!
Grace: Wow. Okay. Stop it!
Die! Die! Die!
Stop it!
That's a threat!
That's a threat!
I will kill you myself!
(All exclaiming in surprise)
Simon: Black man on the run!
Grace. Grace?
Mommy?
(Gasps)
Grace!
Daphne: Virgil!
Get him!
Simon: Do it! Do it for me!
(All scream)
Virgil!
No. No.
Daphne: Virgil.
Don't you dare!
Die!
(Screaming)
Tuck 'n roll, daddy!
(Both yelling)
Daphne: Virgil!
My God! Go, go, go!
Wade! Wade!
Man 1: Get him up, boys!
Daphne: Oh, my goodness.
Woman: He's not getting up.
Man 2: A heck of a stunt.
Grace: Wade? Wade!
Wade?
(Camera clicks)
Stop that.
Wade!
Man 2: Is he dead?
Dr. Chris,
is he gonna be okay?
We're gonna need 10 cc's of...
Is that blood?
Um... call a doctor.
Grace: Doctor! Doctor!
I thought he was a doctor.
Mmm.
Mmm.
What happened?
Um...
Well, we're not
exactly sure,
but the doctor
said that you had
something called
psilocybin in your system.
Philahcybin?
It basically means
you were tripping on 'shrooms.
Honey, I hate
to say this, truly,
but the writing
is on the wall.
He is on drugs.
He ruined my
beloved Moby dick day.
Your mother's
property is missing.
Not to mention
the small fact that
he burnt down chief
Oneka's sweat lodge.
No.
Yes, it's gone.
Did you?
I should go.
Yes, you should. And take
your brother with you.
What did I do?
What kind of doctor passes out
at the first sight of blood?
I'm not sure.
And I think you may have
disrespected our Meg here.
I see the looks she gives you.
(Grunts softly)
Grace, I'll explain everything
when we get back to the city.
Are you coming?
You don't fit in around here.
The peeples don't lie.
We don't steal.
We tell the truth, the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth.
You tell your family
the whole naked truth?
What?
You just let it all hang out
there for everybody to see, huh?
He's lost his mind.
I was at
the private beach, Virgil.
I know all about
you and mayor Hodge,
and getting freaky with all your
sagging nut buddies watching.
Grace: Whoa, wade!
Like I said, he is
out of his mind, grace.
And what about playing at the lusty
sea hag, huh? How's that going?
Using that excuse
about how the family
can't hear you play
until it's perfect.
Well, go on, play something.
You must be pretty good
after all those late nights.
Maybe you should,
Virgil.
I'm not gonna
play for this junkie!
Get out!
Gladly.
Grace.
Are you coming?
All right.
Come on, Chris.
If anything changes, I...
Chris.
Okay.
Good. Now that that's over, things
can finally get back to normal.
Dad?
Yes, sweetie.
You didn't
answer the question.
What question?
You always taught
me to look every
examiner in the eye
and answer directly,
but you didn't answer wade,
and in fact, you looked away.
I don't recall.
What beach was
he talking about?
Yeah, whose sagging nuts
was he talking about?
How am I supposed to know what
is in his hallucinogenic mind?
It's the drugs talking.
You're looking away again!
Are you seeing
Johnnie Hodge?
And now you, Daphne?
You've been coming home late,
Virgil, smelling like seawater.
What's going on?
I swim with the humpbacks.
The nudist hippies?
Oh, snap!
They're not hippies.
It's naturalism.
It's something I do to help me
relieve stress since the heart attack.
It has nothing to do with sex.
It doesn't?
No, baby. You are
the only woman for me.
Wade was telling the truth!
You still don't
get it, sweetie.
So what that he
saw me at the beach?
That still doesn't explain
the money scams at the market,
Meg and Gloria's odd behavior since
he arrived, your mother's earrings,
and the fact that that
dope fiend tried to kill me.
I put the 'shrooms
in that drink.
I stole mom's earrings.
Meg and I are a couple.
A couple of what?
A couple of dykes.
I knew it!
We're in love, dad.
You are my family. I love you.
But you act as if I am some
pompous ass that nobody can talk to.
And what is this
about 'shrooms?
No more gardening.
You're going back to rehab.
Okay.
(Dog whining)
What is that?
Oh, the poor guy.
He did lose his wallet.
He gave me advice on how to
get a girl, and it worked.
When?
When he locked me in the
bathroom at the lusty sea hag.
What are you talking about?
I think the dude was
just trying to propose.
What is this?
"Grace, my love,
my truth. Wade. "
I got that one
from Virgil's pants.
What was this
doing in your pants?
Simon, why are you always
in somebody's stuff?
Did you know that he
was gonna propose to me?
You are grounded!
Dad!
He came to the sweat lodge and
asked for your hand in marriage,
then he burned it down.
(Tearfully) Oh, my God!
Gracie.
Oh, sweetie.
(Sobs)
Grace: Hey.
Chris, please call me back.
I know that he's with you.
I just... I can't...
I just can't reach him. Okay?
Wade?
Where you want this?
Right here.
Fine.
What are you doing here?
Well, I came to propose.
I want you to put this on my
finger and please come home.
No. I'm sorry.
The answer is no.
I'm not cut out to be a
peeples. I can't have secrets.
I can't hide my quirks
or weaknesses, all right?
From anybody.
Least of all, you.
You're right. I'm sorry.
I did not introduce you to my
father because I was worried that
he would pick you apart and tell
me that you weren't good enough.
I was scared that
he wouldn't see what I see,
which is that
you're incredible.
I love you, wade.
And I think that
you are crazy enough
to love me for
who I actually am.
So, wade Walker,
will you marry me?
I don't know. It depends.
Do you promise to trust me?
To be honest
and work through any problems? Yes.
No more "peanuts. "
No more "peanuts. "
No more safe word.
We talk it out.
Okay.
You're gonna
tell me about jail.
Well, in that case,
grace peeples...
(Giggles)
...will you marry me?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
(Laughing) Yes.
- You know what this means?
- What?
- No more putting daddy on a pedestal.
- Nope.
- I'm your man now. You understand?
- Yes.
He does not make
the decisions in our life.
What father?
Never heard of him.
That point needs
to be negotiated.
Dad, how did you
know where we were?
I'm brilliant, grace.
Well, that's true.
Virgil: And Chris told me.
He scares me.
Virgil, you expect me
to be the man you are today.
That takes time.
And quite frankly, I don't even
know if I wanna be that crazy.
Well, I suppose
I deserve that.
That's why I
brought some peeples,
who not unlike myself,
left you out there to dry.
Now, a peeples never shows his
hand to family until it is perfect.
But if you allow me,
I would like
to attempt
something for you now.
So you're saying
we're family?
I'm family?
Yes, we're family.
(Chuckles)
There comes a time
in everyone's life
when you have to
express yourself.
Holding things in
makes us do strange things.
Deny your true love.
Drink trippy smoothies.
Steal jewelry
from your own momma.
My eyes still burn from the sagging
horrors I've witnessed at the beach.
(Kids cheering)
# Now, I don't
have to tell you
# what everybody knows
# daddy's number one
till his little girl grows
# time comes when
you've got to let go
# but any man
with a ring in his hand
# had better come qualified
# even homicide is justified
# I'm the judge
and the jury of my tribe
# and yes, I confess,
i was giving you stress
# when I could have
used the words to say
# it makes less mess
to simply express
# yeah, I got a better way
# speak it, don't leak it
# what? Hey!
# Don't keep
your feelings secret
# speak it, don't leak it
# that's how
the big kids play it
# big kids play
# you better come on now
here we are
# speak, leak
# speak, leak
# speak, leak
# speak, leak
both: # speak it, leak
it speak it, leak it
# speak it, leak it
speak it, leak it
(both vocalizing)
# Everybody
# hoo!
# Big kids play
# oh, tell somebody
# speak it, don't leak it
# don't keep
your feelings secret
# say it, don't spray it
# that's how
the big kids play it
# speak it, don't leak it
# don't keep
your feelings secret
# say it, don't spray it
# speak it, don't leak it!
(Vocalizing)