Make a fool of me will you.
It was an accident.
I never wanted to be an altar boy.
Well Damien
now you have made sure
you never will be!
Now
three months
no playing football!
No watching football!
No listening to football!
But Liverpool is
in the European Cup Final!
No
foot-ball!
Making a clear forward here
for Liverpool
offside
Terry McDermott...
makes the goal!
Yes.
I'm told
Joseph O'Brien is unavailable
for altar boy selection
for the Archbishops
mass on Sunday
mister Quinn.
[Father Quinn:]
yes Father
we lost him
on a technicality.
Not baptized.
Senseless.
Who is his replacement?
Damien Lynch.
What!
He is the only
trained instant boy I have.
Mister Quinn may I remind you
that the Archbishop
hasn't said mass
in his hometown
since his ordination.
Damien's father
really threw the book at the lad
after what he did.
I feel he has learned his lesson.
I nearly dislocated
my hip mister Quinn!
Shut up Father Hanley.
You better be right Quinn.
It will not be a day
for playing
liturgy roulette.
In the name of the Father and
the Son of the Holy spirit. Amen.
Bless our Lord Thy gifts
which are Thy bounty
we are about to receive
through Christ our Lord. Amen.
In the name of the Father
the Son the Holy Spirit. Amen.
The lord is seen fit to give you
a second chance on Sunday boy.
And if you take it
you will have
redeemed yourself
and you will be allowed to
watch your precious Liverpool
in the European Cup Final
on Wednesday night.
If you don't...
you go
straight back to jail.
Indefinitely.
Yes father.
Case and Keegan in the box
Kennedy, Smith and
Joey going down the outside
oh yes
most exciting scorer
in coming sense.
Yeah.
Come on.
Hurry up son.
Turn back.
Shine that other shoe again.
Right...
you don't need me to tell you
what this means to the parish...
to Father O'Toole,
to Father Hanley,
to your parents,
to your school,
to just about everyone
you have ever met in your life.
But I want you
to forget about all that
and I want you
to ask yourself
this one question:
what does it mean to you?
You
sitting there.
What
does it mean
to you?
And
for twenty years
I was blown in the face telling
by the Sanctus bell is an instrument.
Not a bloody panic alarm!
you can't just pick it up
and jingle-jangle
like a flipping fire engine
howling through a town.
It is all one movement.
Lift and ring.
Lift
and ring. The first bell should
peal at the end of the upswing.
You
are an natural son.
I have seen parishioners
shiver
with the clarity of your ring.
Show them.
Make them feel it.
Finbar,
pound for pound
you are the best communion
man in Liston right now.
Maybe Ireland.
You have 'the' perfect tool
to the communion pattern
an inch and a half
under the chin every time.
The only thing
I will say to you boy
is don't get
too build up.
I have it seen to happen
to lads in big masses before.
Wandering around on the altar like
cattle hipped up at angel dust.
Cool it!
Now...
you and Simon are my other
three tabernacle squad today
now lads, as I have said
time and time again
the tabernacle
that is our goal mould.
It is our six yard box, you have got
to keep your composer around it.
Don't let me see that mouth
hanging open again Simon.
It is the flesh and blood of
our savoury is taken out there.
Not a hock of ham.
Now
we all know
you are in here
on a wildcard son.
now you said what happened
two weeks ago was an accident.
The jury is still out on that one.
But I
the parish
really needs you
to come in for us today.
And if you keep
a clean sheet
you will earn
yourself
guaranteed first team selection
for no mass on Sundays.
And if you don't come in...
well then
you are pretty much
finished in this town.
Are you with me boy?
Yes mister Quinn
I'm with you.
That's the lad.
I like that.
On your feet.
Let see some grace,
some vision
anticipate.
Keep a yard
on the pace
of the service.
Remember, if the
Archbishop is thinking it:
We are already doing it!
Go out there
and have the mass
of your lives.
The Lord be with you.
And with your spirit.
May our
mighty God bless you,
the Father, the Son
and the Holy Spirit.
The mass is ended
go in peace,
to love and serve the Lord.
Thanks be to God.
Textbook!
First class O'Toole.
An outstanding
squad of altar boys.
Thank you
my Excellency.
It's not over yet.
So
Damien Lynch scored 10 times
to be the
squad team leader
and the chance
to make a draw for
the European Cup comes
to Liverpool for the first time.
And with such simplicity the
European Cup surely is won.