1
(lNSTRUMENTS BElNG PlCKED UP)
(JERRY CHUCKLlNG SOFTLY)
JERRY: Are we on?
TECH 1: We're on.
JERRY: Where we at
with the levels?
TECH 2: Left. (BEEPS)
Right. (BEEPS)
JERRY: l'm getting a little
hum from the guitar amp.
TECH 1 : You like it with
that sort of gutbucket sound.
JERRY: I want to be
convertible on this.
l want to be able to switch it
back if it doesn't fit.
TECH 2: Check, check. Check.
JERRY: That's good.
TECH 2: Jerry,
we're ready now.
JERRY: Groovy, man. Let's go.
TECH 1 : Yeah, man.
(ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG)
Sleep all day
Out all night
l know where you're goin'
l don't think
that's actin' right
You don't think
it's showin'
SAM: So these are your P30 tires, huh?
BEN: That's right.
-How many?
-A hundred thousand.
A hundred thousand?
God, that's a mountain
of rubber, Ben.
Please don't tell me you're
offloading to a liquidator.
-We use Cemensky Brothers.
-Cemensky Brothers?
Look, l'm kind of
pressed for time.
-Can you get to the point?
-(LAUGHlNG)
What, for 10 cents
on the dollar?
Two percent
of your wholesale cost?
What happens when
they dump 100,000 P30s
to every discount chain that's
competing for your clients?
Okay. Ten minutes.
Bottom line it for me. What's your cut?
Well, l could pay you
100 cents on the dollar,
your full wholesale cost,
guarantee to
re-market overseas
so you don't undercut
domestic sales,
and for that, believe me,
it's a river of shit
you don't want to go swimming in,
we only pull 30%. commission.
What is it you do again?
You buy tires?
Among other things, yeah.
l work in corporate barter.
l'm a facilitator.
Thank you so much
for taking the time.
Sam Harper,
Allied Trade Consultants.
We buy and sell overstock.
lt's the barter system, Omar.
The original form of commerce.
Look, every company
has leftovers
after a sales cycle, right?
Last year's electronics,
ketchup bottles,
kitten calendars,
toys that didn't sell
at Christmas.
Anything with
an expiration date.
Questionable baby formula.
There's a market
for everything, Phil.
Weyerhaeuser Paper,
U.S. Steel,
Exxon Mobil, Fortune 500s.
We work for the biggest
in the world.
Do you have my card?
Because in this economy,
paper is paper,
but goods are good.
Unlike the dollar,
barter does not depreciate
one single percent.
lt's the new money.
l mean, that's how
you have to think of it.
You are getting in
on the ground floor of money!
(CHUCKLES)
All right.
WOMAN 1 :
Allied Trade Consultants?
WOMAN 2: Allied Trade
and Barter, please hold.
Allied Trade Consultants.
Please hold
while l transfer your call.
-MAN: Sammy!
-What's up, baby?
(WOMAN LAUGHS)
-WOMAN: Oh, he's leaving.
-Uh-huh. Okay.
(WHlSPERS)
l closed Lincoln Tire,
a million, two,
in product. Yes!
Yeah,
l'll make it right.
You should've seen me
in there, buddy. lt was a thing of beauty!
l fed him
your "new money" line.
lt was like feeding a baby
a pacifier.
Did you ship 100,000 cases
of tomato bisque to Ecuador?
Yeah. Yeah, National Soup had
overstock they had to dump.
And you shipped by train?
Of course l did.
lt was half as much as air freight.
Through Mexico.
1 15 degrees and you ship by train.
-What... What's the problem?
-The problem?
-(RlNGlNG)
-l'll tell you the problem.
Did you get Dolores
on the phone yet?
Yes. Here's the list.
She'll be very happy.
Thank you.
lt's all about Dolores.
l don't know
why you have to
l'm the best guy
you have on the floor. l'm a killer.
Am l saving you
too much money?
Yeah,
you're saving me money
by shipping boxes
of soup in an unrefrigerated train car.
-No, no, Jim, they were cans.
-No, they were boxes.
l know specifically
that they were boxes
because when
boxes get hot, they expand,
and when they expand
they explode,
and that train car
looked like a birthing suite at Bellevue.
(SlGHS) Shit!
-You know what you did?
-This isn't a big deal, Jim.
You violated nine provisions
of the Sanitary Food
Transportation Act.
l get it, Jim.
Will you listen to me for a second?
And as soon as the Federal
Trade Commission finds out
they're going to shove
a flashlight,
a Klieg light, in my anus!
They're gonna put a light.
Jesus Christ!
Wanna keep it down?
Yeah, they're gonna
shine it up there
because they want
to shut us down!
You know they want
to shut us down!
We barter.
We don't pay taxes!
l will go
down to National,
l'll talk to Phil Hymore,
the VP of Sales...
-He loves me. l'll have...
-l talked to Phil Hymore.
Phil Hymore's the one
who's threatening to call the FTC.
Phil Hymore's
not calling the FTC.
Yeah, he knows he has us
over a barrel.
(STAMMERlNG)
l'll throw him a deal
and corrugate it
for his next shipment.
He does not want corrugated.
Phil Hymore wants an addition.
-An addition?
-To his house.
He wants an addition
to his house.
He's got a new wife,
Dolores.
She doesn't like
the master suite.
Smells his ex in the walls or
something. Do l give a shit?
Are you telling me
you're bribing Phil Hymore
not to report us
to the FTC
by buying him
an addition to his house?
For the record,
l did not use that word, okay?
You're a genius! Genius!
You moved, what,
two million of Lincoln Tire?
Yeah.
What's that
in commission, about 80K?
Eighty-four.
Eighty-four thousand.
That should
just about cover it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
No, no, don't do that to me.
Jim, that's my year!
That's my nut, man!
Technically it's not yours, it's
mine. Read your contract.
Commissions are discretionary,
which means it's up to me.
Jim, l need this money.
l need this money.
You need? l need.
My two ex-wives need.
My son in rehab needs.
Which is why you need to
get everything on this list.
That's lumber, copper,
conduit, piping,
everything, all right?
Call your vendors.
You got three days. Cut a deal.
Let's see
a little ingenuity, okay?
Get me the shit on that list,
otherwise your ass is fired!
l'm not kidding!
Shit!
(CAR ALARMS WAlLlNG)
SAM: Hannah?
l got to bail
on Kim's dinner thing.
l need
a horse tranquilizer.
Why are you cooking?
You wouldn't
answer your phone.
What's... What's wrong?
Your mom's been
trying you all day.
Your dad died.
l'm so sorry.
What's for dinner?
Annie. Sam Harper,
Allied Trade. How are you?
l'm in a bind.
l'm leaving town for a couple days.
l was just hoping
you could help me out.
HANNAH: Get a pen.
l'm gonna give you a list of all the stuff...
Yeah...
No, l'm sure you are busy,
but l happen to be in the
market for a little lumber.
-Next in line, please?
-l know... l got to run.
What do you mean
there's a lumber shortage
-in the northeast?
-Sam... Okay?
lf you help me out
with this wood,
l will get
your truck fleet...
Sir, we need
your photo lD, please.
l'll call you
when l land. Bye.
-Sorry about that.
-WOMAN: That's okay.
-l just need your picture lD.
-Yeah, sure.
-What?
-(GROANS)
l left it on the table
while l was packing.
Sir, we can't let you board
the plane without lD.
lt is my father's funeral.
Tonight.
lt's a family emergency.
WOMAN:
lf you go over to TSA, they can help you.
SAM: l can't go to TSA...
HANNAH: Nope,
that gets in too late.
ls there anything
that gets into L.A. tonight?
Listen, l just
need you to be a person right now.
We are trying
to get to a funeral.
Yes. Uh-huh. Okay.
What about going through...
Come on. Let's go.
What time
does that get in?
Okay, let me just get
a pen out of the glove compartment.
There are still
seats available?
No, that's great.
And when does that leave?
l don't know
if we can make that,
but let me just
write that down.
Oh, my God!
Baby, look!
-Oh, my God!
-lt was on the floor.
Hang on. lt must have
fallen under the seat.
Yeah, it must have
fallen out of my...
We can go.
We can go right now.
No! She said that
was the last flight.
No, no, no.
l'm talking to her now.
She said there's a flight,
it goes through Denver.
We'll get there late.
lt'll be close,
but we'll get there.
What's...
Yeah, well, then,
let's do it.
-Great! Okay.
-Thank you.
l'll give you the number
right now. lt is 5184,
3801 , 2373...
(CAR ALARM BLARlNG lN LOT)
PlLOT: (ON PA)
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
l'd like to welcome everyone
on flight 86A to Los Angeles.
We are currently cruising at
an altitude of 33,000 feet
at an air speed of
about 400 miles an hour.
Weather looks good, and with
the tailwind on our side...
l'll be right back.
(PlLOT CONTlNUES lNDlSTlNCTLY)
(PEOPLE MUTTERlNG ANXlOUSLY)
Well, he's not here.
MlNlSTER: Friends,
thank you all for coming.
We all knew Jerry...
(lNDlSTlNCT CONVERSATlONS)
SAM: Hey, Mom.
SHElLA: Okay,
l'm going to take off.
-Love you, sweetie.
-Okay. Love you. Thanks.
-Hi, Sheila.
-SHElLA: Hello, Sam.
-You get my message?
-Oh, yeah, the airlines.
They wouldn't even let me
on the plane.
Yeah, just the way it is
these days.
SAM: Yeah.
Mom, this is, uh, Hannah.
l'm so sorry.
Now l have a face
to the voice.
Beautiful face.
How can l help?
What do you need me to do?
l could clean,
l could do anything.
-How long are you staying?
-We got to get back tomorrow.
Hannah's got
a law school interview.
Wow! Law school.
Your parents must be proud.
-Where do they live?
-Chicago.
-You get home to them much?
-Mom...
l'm gonna go unpack.
He would've liked her.
Mom, l...
(SlGHS)
The linens are in
the closet upstairs.
l'm glad you're home.
(TlCKlNG)
(JlNGLlNG)
(JlNGLlNG STOPS)
-What are you doing?
-lt fell.
"Hannah's got to get back
for an interview."
Really? lt's next week.
l know. l'm sorry.
l just didn't know what to say.
That's a first.
What is this,
his man cave?
SAM: More or less, l guess.
l don't think
l've been up here since l was like, eight.
Since you were eight?
He'd come in
and lock the door...
What do you mean,
"He locked the door"?
l am cold.
Are you cold?
No. Oh, my God,
is that Elvis Costello?
Uh, yeah, he gave him his
first pair of ugly glasses,
and, um, sort of
got Columbia to sign him.
He doesn't look like
how you described him.
l imagined this cold
Mr. Frost guy.
He's got kind of
a sweet face.
Yes, that's not
the guy l knew.
Come on.
lt's your dad!
You don't have one happy memory?
Yeah, one.
He used to take me
to this park on Sundays.
-That's nice.
-He never got out of the car.
He'd sit and watch me
so he could...
(SlGHS)
Listen to his demos.
But, hey, you know,
that's how he discovered Kajagoogoo,
so he did make
a major contribution
to the human race.
lKE: (ON MACHlNE)
Hi, Sam, it's lke Rafferty,
your father's attorney.
l'd like to talk to you
about your father's estate.
l could meet you for lunch.
And maybe we should
keep this between us for now, okay?
(ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG)
(CELL PHONE RlNGlNG)
Hey, lke, sorry l'm late.
Parking was a nightmare.
lt is, yeah.
-Been a long time, huh?
-lt has been a long time.
Wow, wow, wow.
l won't say you look
the same, you're taller,
but you do look
like your dad.
Yeah, look at you,
the Manhattans.
lKE: We used to have lunch
every Friday.
The four of us, right here.
-Same booth?
-Thirty-five years.
-Wow.
-l'm the last of the Mohicans.
(SAM CHUCKLES)
So...
(STAMMERlNG)
How about the will?
-The will is not complicated.
-Mmm-hmm.
Basically, the house and the furniture
go to your mom.
Mmm-hmm.
He left you his records.
Old vinyl. Pretty great stuff.
And the money?
And what about the money?
Well, you could probably
sell them for a lot.
l think he'd rather
that you listen to them
once in a while.
Get your groove back.
(CHUCKLES)
Get my groove back?
Because what happened
to my groove?
l knew l had it
here somewhere.
All right.
You're disappointed. l get it.
l am. l'm just
a little disappointed.
l'm a little disappointed.
You get it.
A week ago he asked me to
come see him at the house.
He gave me this.
lt's for you.
All l know is that
it's something
he said he was working on
for a long, long time.
He wanted you to have it.
His shaving kit.
Wow. That's great.
Did you open it?
No, l didn't open it.
Look, son.
l lent your father a suit
so that he could
marry your mother.
l never saw
that suit again.
And l got the bill
from the caterer.
That's the way it was
for 35 years.
l loved him anyway.
l hope you can, too.
-Thanks, Peggy.
-PEGGY: Thanks, doll.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, my...
DANNY: Yo, Josh, hold on.
SlMON: Yo, dude, shut up.
What is it?
Sodium from
the science lab.
This hits the pool,
it'll totally detonate.
-You mean it'll blow up?
-Yes. lt'll blow up.
-Bullshit.
-Dude, l'm telling you.
lt's a chemical. Watch.
-l told you noth...
-Whoa!
Oh, shit!
DANNY: Shit! We got to go! Go!
DEREK: Let's go, let's go!
(ALARM RlNGlNG)
DANNY: Oh, my God,
that was awesome!
l know your mother.
Really?
l'm sure you deal
with your share of working moms,
more than your share,
so l know you understand.
Vandalism, Miss Davis.
lt's Frankie. Please.
And l know, it's my fault.
You are right
to think that.
l work in a bar.
So, l'm sure that
there's something
we can work out here.
Josh is...
There's nothing you can say
that has any relevance
to Josh's expulsion.
(SCOFFS)
You're going to expel him.
What did you expect?
Your son blew up a pool.
l can't have him putting
other students in danger.
Frankly, l don't see
what more there is to talk about,
and l have another meeting,
if you don't mind.
There are some exit papers
l need you to sign.
Where did Josh
get the sodium?
Obviously
the science lab.
Oh, okay, so,
just so l don't misunderstand.
ls that the only
explosive material
you leave lying around
for students to play with?
Don't try
to shift the blame to his teachers.
Where did he learn
it would explode in water?
l don't care for your tone.
Your school's recklessness
nearly killed my son.
Good thing
he figured it out
before he lost an eye,
or a finger,
or a shitload of
Board of Ed. funding,
because some parent
might just be concerned enough to
go out and find a lawyer.
Like those tough
pro bono types
that hang out
in my bar at night
and stare at my, well...
l think you know
what l'm saying.
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
(FRANKlE YELLlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY)
FRANKlE: l have no idea
what you were thinking today.
Hey! Josh!
Are you even listening to me?
Joshua Alan Davis,
this is serious!
l mean, why couldn't you
shoplift or trespass?
Where you lose me
is explosives.
That's where l feel
like l'm not getting through to you.
Hey, are you
listening to me?
How am l going to
pay for that pool, huh?
JOSH: A lemonade stand?
FRANKlE: Oh, you think
you're the only one
who can act like
an 1 1-year-old?
l invented acting out
for attention.
And congratulations,
you got to go to see a shrink now.
She wants you to
fill out some workbook for your anger.
-No way, Carol!
-Yes way.
l'm not doing it, Carol.
Don't call me Carol!
My name is not Carol.
lt's Mom,
for once in your life.
No TV, no computer.
That's child abuse.
Yeah, well,
l can't wait for you
to tell your shrink about it!
(SlGHS)
(SlGHS) Come on, monkey.
We both know you're smart.
l know you're listening
in science class.
(PHONE RlNGlNG)
Hey, Jenny,
can l call you back, please?
lt's a really
bad time right...
(JENNY SPEAKlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY)
Whoa, whoa, wait.
No, what article?
(JENNY CONTlNUES lNDlSTlNCTLY)
(CHUCKLES)
No, l'm fine. l'm fine.
No, l'm...
Yeah. l'll go. l'm gonna go.
l'll go right now.
Thanks.
-Hey, Frankie. Sorry.
-Hey, Ted.
Do you have
yesterday's paper?
TED: Yeah.
Let me grab it. This is yesterday.
Wow. You really need
that horoscope, huh?
So, l was going to get
some dinner at some point.
l don't know if you
have plans tonight, or...
-Hello? Frankie?
-Do you mind if l keep this?
No, of course not.
Go ahead.
-Hey, are you all right?
-Can you watch Josh for me?
For, like, an hour?
lt's the last time, l promise.
-(STAMMERlNG)
-Absolutely.
l have this emergency
that l have to go, um...
TED: Of course. Yeah.
And, you know,
sorry about the dinner thing. lt was...
-Yeah. We're going to.
-Whenever.
FRANKlE: Thanks, Ted.
TED: Okay.
Come on,
come on, come on.
No, no, no, no!
Come on!
You had a yellow light,
for Christ's sake. Go!
Come on! Come on! Move!
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
MAN: Now it's
a different story.
l'm not saying that
every day is a cakewalk,
but it's working.
l mean,
this program, it works.
l'm a dumb,
antagonistic drunk
who fought this
from day one.
Surrender still sounds
like losing to me.
But l stuck around,
and l'm sober. Thanks.
CHAlRMAN: (CLEARS THROAT)
All right.
Before we take a break,
does anyone have a burning desire?
Yeah. Hi. Hi.
Frankie, alcoholic.
MEMBERS: Hi, Frankie.
Um... (SNlFFLES)
l wasn't planning
on coming today. This isn't my, um...
l'm supposed
to be at work. At the bar.
Uh... (CHUCKLES)
Temptation being
the mother of all tips.
Uh...
My son blew up a pool
at school today.
-With salt.
-(SCATTERED CHUCKLlNG)
And then l got a call
from my sponsor who...
That, uh...
"American record producer
Jerry Harper
"died in Los Angeles Tuesday
"after a long battle
with cancer.
"He was 63."
Cancer.
Shit.
"From the mid-'70s
to mid-'80s,
"Harper was known as
a pioneering producer
"and A & R man
"who never achieved the
fame or credit he deserved."
"He is survived
by his wife and son."
So...
lt's official.
l don't exist.
Whoo-hoo!
l'm beginning to think the
editors at the L.A. Times
are even bigger pricks
than my dad was.
l feel numb. Nothing.
So...
Why is it that l want
five dirty martinis
and a lot of other stuff?
Just to cover up the...
(SlGHS) Okay. Blah, blah.
So, that's...
That's all l got.
Thank you. Thanks for
all the other sharers.
Coffee and cigarettes
and onwards.
CHAlRMAN: Okay.
Who's next?
(PEOPLE CHATTlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY)
Hi.
You new?
Knew what?
N-E-W, newcomer
to the meeting?
To the meeting.
No, no, no, no. No. l, um...
l started in Tarzana,
and then Culver City,
and Studio City
was too sceney,
but l heard great things
about this one.
-l move around a lot to...
-Stay anonymous?
(CHUCKLES)
lt's just... lt's...
That's funny. Anonymous.
(CLEARS THROAT)
That was a really
crazy share.
Oh. Yeah.
Do you have
another cigarette by any chance?
l'm trying the gum to quit,
but it's killing me.
Probably.
Oh, no.
lt's your last one.
Oh, that's cool.
l like to pretend
l didn't smoke
the whole pack.
(CHUCKLES)
Thanks.
(GROANS)
Here. You know what?
lt's a little...
My hands are cold
or something.
Just a little...
l have lady hands.
l'm...
l'm Sam.
Oh! There goes anonymous.
Frankie. Uh, welcome, Sam,
if you decide to stay.
And you need
to learn to let go of your toiletries, man.
lt's the third step.
(WHlSPERlNG) Hey.
Where is she?
l'll assume that's an apology
and l didn't understand it.
ls she upstairs?
ls she asleep?
HANNAH: Yeah,
she's probably upstairs.
She's probably exhausted
after spending
the last eight hours
cleaning the house
with her son's girlfriend.
Where you been, Sam?
Did you have a nice day?
What is wrong with you?
(SlGHS)
What's going on?
Can l talk to you outside
for a second?
(TlNKLlNG)
-Where did you get that?
-My dad.
Hundred and fifty
thousand dollars.
(GASPS)
(SAM CHUCKLES)
That he left to a woman
whose kid is my...
(SlGHS)
ln theory,
the kid is my nephew.
l don't understand.
How could you have a nephew?
You don't have
any brothers or sisters.
(CHUCKLES) l do now!
(SAM SPEAKlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY)
At first l think
she's his mistress.
l mean, that makes complete
sense, knowing my father.
But then l look at her.
She has my father's eyes
and his nose, and she...
Sam.
How are you going
to tell your mom?
Surprise! You won
the golden ticket to the shit factory!
l mean,
you have to tell her.
l mean,
she has to know the truth
and she's gonna find out that
he left them this money.
Not if l don't
give it to them.
-No, you're not serious.
-Listen to me. l am very serious.
-lt's $150,000.
-l know.
That he left
in his shaving kit
for some alcoholic
love child. l mean...
-lt's for the kid.
-lt's for me! l'm his son!
l'm supposed to hand it over
with a smile on my face?
He waits
until he's dead
to tell me about
his secret family?
l can't tell her who l am.
There's no way
l'm telling her who l am.
l am buried, buried,
under a shit pile of debt, Hannah.
-What are you talking about?
-A shit pile of debt!
-We're in debt?
-No, no, we're not in debt.
There is no "we," Hannah.
There's no "we."
What do you mean
there's no "we"?
"l." l'm in debt.
l was gonna
get this commission
to help dig me out
but now Phil Hymore's new wife
needs an addition
to her deck...
When were you planning
on telling me
that there is no "we"?
ls there any part
of my life that is off-limits? Any?
Jesus!
(SlGHS)
l knew we shouldn't
have come out here.
Oh, my God.
The wallet.
What?
You hid the wallet
in the car
so you could avoid
coming out here.
(SCOFFS)
What?
That's complete bullshit.
Yeah, yeah, it is, Sam.
lt is complete bullshit!
Will you
listen to yourself? Please listen...
Why did you even
bring me through that
ridiculous charade
at the airport?
Come on, Han!
Why did you even
get on the plane?
Because you found us
another flight!
Who the hell are you, Sam?
(HORN HONKS)
Hannah, l understand
that you're angry.
l would like to talk
to you about this.
l'm so sorry, sir.
Thank you.
-Hannah, l need you.
-Why do you need me?
What, you need
someone else you can lie to?
You don't have
enough suckers in your life, Sam?
No.
-Goodbye.
-(SlGHS)
Hannah...
Just go.
(COUGHS)
(METAL MUSlC PLAYlNG)
ls Johnny there?
Johnny Dillon?
(JAZZ MUSlC PLAYlNG)
l'm looking for Natalia.
l'm Jerry Harper's son.
Jerry Harper.
Jesus Christ.
This is an odd question.
Do you have a daughter?
Frankie?
Hello?
(GROANS)
(JAZZ MUSlC CONTlNUES)
(SAM SlNGlNG)
(PLAYlNG GUlTAR)
Hey, you'd love this.
lt's for the young
working woman
struggling to maintain
a balance between her career
and her personal life.
At least
you think l'm young.
l can see the bags
under your eyes.
-You got to watch...
-Frances, Josh, l'm Amanda.
Hi! Uh, sorry we're late.
There was a ton
of traffic and stuff, so...
All right, little man,
we'll see you...
Why don't you
come in and join us?
Oh.
-All right.
-Sit wherever you like.
Hey, oh, ah, ah, ah.
Come on.
She said sit wherever
you want, so, uh...
FRANKlE: She doesn't mean
her desk. Get out.
You know, today,
let's sit wherever we want.
Oh, that's my...
This is for me. Okay.
So, Josh,
l want you to know that
whatever you're feeling
right now, it's all right.
You can say whatever's on your
mind or nothing at all.
She doesn't
want to be here.
Yeah, but we have
to be here, so...
-Well, for now, Frances...
-Oh, Frankie. Gosh.
(SCOFFS) Frances...
Please, call me Frankie.
Frankie. Okay.
Why don't you tell me
good things about Josh.
(STAMMERlNG)
ls this a trick question?
DR. AMANDA: There are
no trick questions.
Just whatever
comes to mind.
Yeah, no,
l have a great kid, l have a great kid.
So, obviously,
he's very smart.
And he's very funny.
And, you know,
he was great right from the get-go.
He was a great baby.
He slept through the night,
you know, right away.
He really never cried.
Why do you think
that was?
l'm sorry.
Why do l think what was?
Why he never cried.
-Why do you think that was?
-l don't know yet.
Okay, well,
my insurance covers four
50 minute sessions here
and then
it's out of pocket,
so l'd love it
if you could figure it out.
And l don't know
how this usually works,
but l was thinking
we could start by
asking Josh some questions.
Great.
So, Josh,
why don't you tell us
how you feel
about being here.
l feel better already.
(SAM GROANlNG)
Ah!
-Oh, so you're still here.
-What?
Hannah still asleep?
She left.
She had to leave.
Oh. l thought you guys
were going together.
Looks like l have
to see some clients while l'm in town.
What for?
Oh, you know...
Our company
just did a deal
to donate
a million soccer balls
made out of
disaster relief packaging
to kids in the Sudan,
so we do the logistics.
So l figured
l'd stay around for a couple days,
if that's cool with you.
Stay as long as you like.
No, Andy was supposed to call
you about this two days ago.
About the wood, Bill.
About the wood!
lf l don't get
this guy's wife enough wood
to build a deck
in eight hours,
he's gonna report me
to the FTC.
Here's my list.
She wants Mangaris wood, okay?
lt needs to be
diamond-finished Mangaris.
Also, the barbecue
needs to be a...
Needs to be
a 48-inch Viking,
high-end stainless steel
with an infrared burner.
What's up, guys?
(JOSH GROANS)
Bill, l'll call you back
in five minutes.
Did you tell anybody
we were at the pool with you?
No.
lf you say
anything about us,
we'll beat
the living shit out of you!
(BLUEGRASS MUSlC PLAYlNG)
(PEOPLE TALKlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY)
No.
You're not getting
10 feet out the door.
Look. Look!
You can't be stealing CDs.
Nobody even buys CDs anymore.
And it's a record store.
You can't shoplift
from a record store.
lt's like kicking
a dead man.
Do you work here?
(SCOFFS)
Probably only
a matter of time.
l'm Sam.
l sort of know your mom.
You're not going
to tell her, are you?
That your taste
in music blows? l don't know. Maybe.
Look, this right here,
this is what you're looking for.
Dude, if you try
and grab my balls...
Whoa, whoa. What the fuck?
Try and grab your balls?
lf you even try,
l will bite
your finger off. l swear to God.
l totally get it.
Here you go.
Go ahead.
How do you know her?
We, you know,
met in a meeting.
-What step are you on?
-Eight.
-Make your list yet?
-Huh?
-Of people you screwed over?
-Oh, yeah.
lt's a long list.
l'll be on eight for a while.
You know the steps?
Carol has them
on the fridge.
-Who's Carol?
-Frankie.
Why do you call her Carol?
Carol's our fat-ass
building manager.
Has a moustache,
smells like deep-fried farts.
Frankie doesn't see
the resemblance.
l have to remind her.
-How old are you?
-Eleven.
What do 1 1-year-olds
do nowadays?
-l blew up a pool.
-What?
Yeah, l threw in
a sodium rock and it blew up.
Part of it.
The deep end.
Carol was pissed.
Now l have to go
to kid therapy
and play with blocks
till l cry.
(CHUCKLES)
All right.
Here we go.
Listen up.
You're going to start
with Gang of Four, okay?
Then you'll move
to The Buzzcocks.
Then Joy Division.
Then The Clash.
Finish up with Television.
ln that order.
You going to remember
that order?
Maybe.
All right. Here you go.
Pay for them.
('70S FUNK PLAYlNG lN STORE)
Whoa! That's your car?
Sweet wheels, dude.
Give me a ride.
No, no.
Definitely not.
Come on, Music Man,
you're already super weird.
lt's not going to
get any weirder.
Look, can you just...
l got to go, man.
l got to go. l'm sorry.
Can you just...
Sorry.
All right!
Public transportation sucks ass!
(ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG)
Spanish songs
in Andalucia
The shooting sites
in the days of '39
Oh, please, leave
the vendetta open
-Your mom's not home?
-Work.
Huh.
Where?
That hotel downtown,
The Standard.
When, now?
Does she work nights?
She kind of works nights,
double shifts. Whatever.
She's not worried about you
being home by yourself?
Dude, l know how
to microwave pizza.
Plus, there's
Ted downstairs, Lucy next door.
Seventeen, Mexican.
Goes braless.
Owns a yoga DVD.
lt's win-win.
(CHUCKLES)
(ROCK MUSlC
CONTlNUES FROM CAR)
-Oh. Don't forget this.
-(MUSlC STOPS)
Your musical edification.
Gang of Four, The Buzzcocks,
Joy Division, The Clash,
finish up with Television.
But if you really
want to go number one with a bullet,
there's six things
you got to know.
Six things?
Maybe l'll tell you
one day.
Thanks for not
kidnapping me.
No sweat.
(CHUCKLES)
(LOUD TALKlNG)
(R&B MUSlC PLAYlNG)
They're attracted to me
They come around like honey
'Cause l'm fly like a bee
Man, l got 'em all buzzin'
Buzzin', buzzin', buzzin'
When l come around
Round, round
They go
When l come around
Round, round
They go
When l step in your town
Town, town
They go
Yeah, it's going down
(DANCE MUSlC PLAYlNG)
JlM: (ON MACHlNE)
You failed, asshole.
You had three days
and you couldn't get wood?
Hymore called the FTC,
and l got them in the office
questioning the ethics
of our business.
We don't have
ethics in our business. Where are you?
JANE: (ON MACHlNE)
Mr. Harper, this is Jane MacKenna
with the FTC Bureau
of Consumer Protection.
We've received a complaint
from the National Soup Company
about fraudulent
business practices
Please contact me
to assist you
in resolving this matter
at your earliest convenience.
Thank you.
(EXHALES)
Hi.
l'm your brother.
(COUNTRY MUSlC PLAYlNG)
Hey, um...
Oh.
-Frankie.
-Mr. Anonymous.
-You work here.
-Are you following me?
No, l had a had
a work thing in the lobby downstairs
at 8:00 p.m. Just ended.
l thought l'd come up
and check out the view
and the pool.
Uh-huh.
You know when
people are lying
they tend to
over-invent details.
(CHUCKLES) Uh...
-That was a joke.
-Caught again.
Which you took seriously,
because maybe you are lying.
(CHUCKLlNG)
Oh, no, no.
You shouldn't use maraschinos.
They're soaked in
artificial food dye.
Some people are allergic.
Most companies
switch to natural.
lt's my job.
Cherry activist?
No, l'm sort of
a facilitator.
You're a robot sent from
the future to kill me?
Uh, corporate barter.
You know, barter,
the original form of commerce.
"Hey, you're a goat shepherd.
Sweet, l'm a chicken farmer.
"l'll trade you
25 chickens for a goat."
-Goats, huh?
-(CHUCKLES)
ls your shift over?
Yeah... Um...
(CLEARS THROAT)
Can l get you something?
That they sell here?
No, no, no, no. Look...
l swear to you
on my life l'm not
and will never
hit on you, ever.
Wow, thank you.
l'm sure that was meant
to reassure me.
No, l'm just...
l'm sure you get hit on all the time.
l'm not one of those guys...
l'm in a relationship
right now, so...
Oh, that's so great for you.
What's his name?
(CHUCKLES)
Can l get a Coke?
Ah! That will be
25 chickens, please.
l'm all chickened out.
You can owe me.
(CHUCKLES)
FRANKlE: Management used
to let us wear sneakers,
till they decided that
that was not upscale skank enough.
(SlGHS)
-l'm sorry about your dad.
-Do you remember...
-What?
-No, you.
-No, go ahead.
-No, you were saying.
-l'm sorry you were...
-No, you.
All right, me. Um...
l was just going to ask
if you ever go
to the meeting on Colfax.
No, l just...
l came out from New York.
Because for some reason
you seem,
l don't know... Familiar.
l'm really sorry
about your dad.
That's nice of you to say,
but don't be sorry.
He was a dick.
Why a dick?
Well, he bailed
when l was little.
Pretty much qualifies him
for dick status.
How old were you?
Uh...
l don't know, eight.
So, he was in your life
eight years?
You know
what l love to do
at the end of my
really long shift?
Talk about my childhood.
l'm sorry. (STAMMERlNG)
l didn't mean to pry.
My dad died, too, recently,
and, you know,
he wasn't exactly
a gem of a human being, either, so...
l've been there.
-Sorry.
-No, no.
God, you have no reason
to apologize.
l'm the one peppering you
with questions.
l'm gonna go.
Yeah, l don't want
to keep you. l'm sorry.
-Uh... Weird running into you.
-Yes.
-Maybe l'll see you around.
-Sure.
Okay.
l do owe you
those 25 chickens, so...
FRANKlE: Yeah.
(CHUCKLES)
-FEMALE NARRATOR: Hi there.
-Hi.
Do you have a hard time
making friends
or connecting with people?
No.
Do you feel lonely sometimes?
-Hey, Lucy.
-Hey.
Like you don't know how to
talk to anyone around you,
maybe even the people
in your own family.
Does it make you feel
frustrated? Sad? Angry?
(SlGHS)
Are there days
when you just wish
you could be
somewhere else,
or even someone else?
You may think you're
the only person out there
who feels these things.
(GLASS BREAKS)
But it's part of being human.
So welcome to people.
We're about to learn some
simple relaxation tools
to calm those angry
and frustrated feelings.
Ready? First,
accept the way you feel.
Try making a fist
with each hand, and then let go.
Can you feel the difference?
Second, find
a soothing activity to distract yourself.
Maybe it's playing
with your favorite toy,
or riding a bike.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
-TED: Hey.
-Hey.
-(GRUNTS)
-(MOANlNG)
-Oh, shit!
-(BULB SHATTERlNG)
Don't be disappointed
if you don't feel better right away.
lt takes time
to find a perfect fit.
-You want to watch TV?
-You know, my kid's
going to be up soon, so...
Yeah. Okay.
Now, counting
down from five,
let the relaxation
spread like a wave
through your whole body.
Five, four, three,
two, one.
You found his meds.
l believe so.
(CHUCKLES)
(lNHALlNG SHARPLY)
Oh, God.
l shouldn't have done this.
This is the medicine
for the nausea from the chemo.
lt's like...
l don't know what. lt's like
drinking altar wine.
-(CHUCKLES)
-Oh, wow.
You smell like your father.
Patchouli.
Oh, God.
That used to turn me on.
Oh, Mom. l'm not that stoned.
l will never be that stoned.
How did you
end up with him, anyway?
What do you mean?
You know we met at The Faces concert.
No, no, no. l mean, you're
you, and he wasn't exactly
the quarterback
of the football team.
-He was handsome.
-Mom. He was a warlock.
(LAUGHlNG)
Don't laugh at me.
You have to understand
something, Sammy.
l was the hatcheck girl
at the Troubadour.
l was 1 7 years old,
and he was like...
The king of L.A.
He said l reminded him
of Joni Mitchell.
She's the reason
l moved here.
l heard her voice
on the radio,
and l said,
"Why can't that be me?"
l could sing.
Everybody said it.
So, l came here
and l met your dad
and then l met
Joni Mitchell.
Oh, man.
l met Linda Ronstadt
and Stevie Nicks.
(SlGHS)
And Lillian Cresbauer
from Nutley, New Jersey.
One night, we were
all sitting around joking and singing,
and Jerry pushed me
toward the piano
and said, "Get up there,
Lillian. They'll love you!"
Nobody had ears
like your dad. He knew.
He knew l was good.
For Nutley, New Jersey.
So, l sang.
After that l...
l never felt
like those people were my friends again.
Wow.
You never told me that.
Why would he do that?
l don't know.
He wasn't always
easy to understand.
You know your father.
What is not
to understand, Mom? He was a f...
He was a prick.
He humiliated you.
You want to know
what was humiliating?
l was the only one
at the funeral
sitting next to
an empty seat.
That was fun.
l didn't have to answer
any weird questions
about that one.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, there's the sarcasm.
l remember that.
Yeah, well,
what you probably don't remember
is me changing
the plastic bags in his abdomen
every two hours
so his shit wouldn't leak.
Wow, Mom.
That was like a double twist
on the high degree
of difficulty
on that insult dive.
He was in and out
of the hospital for a year.
You never even called him.
He didn't want
me around, Mom.
ls that what
you tell yourself?
And you let him
not want me around.
You came home
maybe four times in the last 13 years.
Usually to borrow money.
How is the T-shirt
business, anyway?
-Good night.
-That's right. Run away.
At least it's the one thing
you're consistent about.
You think you knew him?
You saw what
you wanted to see.
Can you really believe
l didn't know the man
l was married to?
JANE: (ON MACHlNE)
Jane MacKenna again
from the Federal Trade
Commission, Mr. Harper.
This is my second call.
lf you're not in our
Manhattan offices
by the end of the week
to assist our investigation,
we'll be forced
to issue you a subpoena.
AUTOMATED VOlCE:
End of new messages.
We could tell her
we've been waiting here for 20 minutes
and the button didn't work.
So sorry we're late.
The pickup line at school
was a total disaster.
-No, it wasn't.
-Kind of was.
Kind of wasn't.
Can l talk to you
alone for a second?
(SlGHS)
WOMAN 1 :
When l first got sober,
l heard everyone
tell all the old-timers...
WOMAN 2: l'm embarrassed,
l'm ashamed.
l've been sitting here
listening to everyone.
Frankly, l think
you're all quite mad.
MAN 1 : So, thank you all
for listening
and keep coming back.
-MAN 2: Good night, Frankie.
-Yeah, good night.
Oh, shit!
(CRUNCHlNG)
(SlGHS)
Pretty sure the purse was
designed to keep things
inside itself.
But l don't want to
mess up your process.
l know what you're thinking.
"You again." Again.
My last meeting.
l got to go back to New York.
Thought l'd say goodbye.
Cherry season
already, huh?
Yeah.
Something like that.
You know, it's...
Thank you.
(SlGHS)
Assuming you've had
better days, huh?
What gave it away?
Shit, right before this
l got fired by my kid's therapist.
ls it fired, do you think?
Or broken up with?
What happened?
l got caught in a lie.
l just...
l was late, and l lied
about it in front of my kid.
So...
Look, l know
we don't really know each other at all,
but you seem
like a really...
Like a really
great person.
(STAMMERlNG)
l'm not a professional
parent or whatever,
but l'm pretty sure
there's no such thing
as a textbook mom.
Your kid's really lucky
to have you.
Bye, Frankie.
Wait!
l mean...
You're leaving now?
l mean, before it was okay,
but now...
We should get a taco
or something.
Really?
-Or not. Never mind.
-Absolutely.
Absolutely never mind?
Absolutely tacos.
FRANKlE: l realized that
l feel sorry for my clothes
that l don't wear,
so l rearranged my closets
so the stuff from the back
got moved to the front
so it could have more face time.
(LAUGHS)
-l'm nuts.
-That's crazy.
ln high school
l was in a band called Technical Virgin.
(BOTH LAUGH)
ln high school
l was on a team
of technical virgins
called "cheerleaders."
-No!
-l got kicked off the team.
-Why?
-l wouldn't do lame cheers.
lt's not good to have
the pompon girl be like,
"This is bullshit!"
Can you show me
a lame cheer?
-l'm not doing any cheers.
-Come on.
l know one cheer.
lt's from a Faith No More song.
"Be aggressive.
Be-Be aggressive.
"B-E-A-G-G-R-E-S-S-l-V-E."
Anybody?
"Be aggressive.
Be-Be aggressive."
Let me just recap.
So, you're losing and l am winning.
No, l'm not. l'm very
competitive right now.
You were in a shitty band.
That's all you've brought
to this entire situation.
You better come up
with something good.
Wow.
l lied to avoid a funeral.
-l give that like a six.
-Six? Bullshit, six.
Good lord,
it's like watching the nature channel.
Don't watch me eat.
Every spring, the wild
Frankie migrates to the...
(BOTH LAUGHlNG)
All right.
l'm going to finish you.
l'm going to sweep the leg.
Here it comes. You ready?
Yeah. Please. l'm ready.
(SlGHS)
l was a bit of a nightmare
when l got pregnant
with my kid.
Mmm-hmm.
l would you know,
wake up, drink,
score, bump, get laid,
pass out, rinse, repeat.
No numbers.
No names. So...
l have no idea
who my kid's dad is.
And l still ended up
with my little munchkin
and he saved my life.
-Ta-da!
-l fold.
(MlMlCS DRUM ROLL)
You can't win this game
if you don't have kids.
Speaking of folding,
l have to go do laundry. l'm sorry.
l don't want to intrude on
your laundering space, but...
l would love
to not go to the laundromat by myself.
So, sure.
FRANKlE: You ate
a lot of nachos.
SAM: So what?
FRANKlE: Not.
SAM: Not an astronaut?
Why not?
FRANKlE: lt's not going
to be astronaut.
l don't know.
ln another life,
l could've been a landscape
architect or something.
Why not this life?
Why another life?
You need a degree
or something.
Why not do that now?
l barely made it through
school the first time.
Yeah, well, l shouldn't be
doling out career advice.
Trust me,
career advice from me is...
(CHUCKLES)
No. Be afraid.
Be very afraid.
Are you all right?
lt's my dad.
He used to bring a change
of clothes to our house
when he came to visit.
He always smelled
like patchouli,
and my mom hated it.
So it was my job to wash
and fold his laundry.
Anyway.
How did they meet?
Backstage at a
King Crimson concert.
My dad was a music
manager. A & R guy.
My mom was this
L.A. scenester.
A groupie, basically.
For a while, he'd come on
Sundays. We'd go to movies,
have a picnic.
He just had this light.
And when he would laugh,
it made me feel like
l was really funny.
But then he stopped coming.
No more light.
Did you ever
see him again?
l tried to see him.
When l was 15.
l actually bought a dress,
took the bus to his studio.
He kept me an hour
waiting in his office
and then we
finally got in his car...
Which one?
l mean, what kind?
He had a Country Squire.
That's an old station wagon.
And we went to this house
in Los Feliz. Some guitarist.
And l was standing
in the corner,
staring at my shoes
in my discount prom dress.
They were smoking
and drinking and...
l just kept telling myself,
"Do not give this man
your tears."
After a while
he drove me home, gave me a $50 bill,
and my last image of my dad
are taillights
while he drove away
to his other family.
And the crazy thing is,
you don't ask,
"What's wrong with him?"
No. You ask,
"What's wrong with me?"
There's nothing wrong
with you.
Mostly l'm just still pissed
he got me in a dress.
So, the...
The other family,
did he ever talk about them?
l didn't want to know.
l hated them.
They got him.
What about your mom?
My mom died
a couple years ago.
My sweet mom.
You know, she never said
a bad word about him.
Can l just say,
your life is ass.
(LAUGHlNG)
lt's really...
Don't laugh at me.
No, l'm not.
l'm not laughing at you.
l'm just thinking
how strong you are.
-l don't feel strong.
-You're incredibly strong.
So when is your flight?
Uh...
(STAMMERlNG) l got
a text earlier, actually,
and things are shifting
around at work, so...
Looks like l have to stay
in L.A. a little longer.
l know
it's about the nachos.
Nachos, please.
You stuffing your face
like a wildebeest in heat.
(UPBEAT FOLK MUSlC PLAYlNG)
Early one morning the sun was shining
l was laying in bed
Wondering if she'd changed at all
If her hair was still red
Her folks, they said our lives together
Sure was gonna be rough
They never did like
Mama's homemade dress
Papa's bankbook
wasn't big enough
And l was standing
on the side of the road
(SAM AND FRANKlE
CHATTlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY)
Heading out
for the East Coast
Lord knows l've paid
some dues getting through
Come on. Let's go.
Hustle, Carol.
Okay. (LAUGHS)
Hey, man. No.
Off, off, off.
Hey, look. Your backpack
that you left in the backseat?
lt's in the trunk.
That's where that was?
Also, the ride home
from the record store,
maybe not mention it, okay?
-Why?
-Hey, there.
(LAUGHS)
Nice car, huh, Josh?
Josh, Sam.
Howdy.
What's up?
All right, child. Hey, hey!
No, no, no! Oh... Okay...
We drove that car
as far as we could
Abandoned it out west
A little glamour face.
(LAUGHlNG)
l can't actually
shoot anything.
-Are you filming?
-FRANKlE: Yeah!
(ALL LAUGHlNG)
l heard her say
over my shoulder
"We'll meet again someday
on the avenue"
Whoo!
Tangled up in blue
(SAM LAUGHlNG)
SAM: This is incredible.
(GASPS) My gosh,
look at its little face.
lt's looking right at me.
(lN ENGLlSH ACCENT)
Please, sir, spare my life.
l don't deserve
to be eaten, mate.
What? Why is
the crab British?
(LAUGHlNG)
FRANKlE: You gotta
mallet that thing.
Because l'm a hater.
SAM: Let's hear
a little Keith Moon.
(DRUMMlNG RHYTHMlCALLY)
Whoo! Drum duet!
FRANKlE: Hit it!
BOTH: Oh!
SAM: Let me show you a trick.
Take the crab leg like such.
We go like that.
We take our handy red
crab claw.
There you go, buddy.
(FOLK MUSlC PLAYlNG)
-Yeah, l've seen better.
-Oh, yeah.
Yeah, God,
is this the best you got?
(FARTlNG)
-Ugh!
-Josh!
But it's real.
Thank you!
SAM: And l'm still crying.
(CELL PHONE RlNGlNG)
(SlGHS)
Hello?
SAM: Hey, it's me.
How are you?
You know. Amazing.
A woman keeps calling
and leaving messages.
l think she wants
to arrest you.
So, at least
l'm not the only one.
Why did you call?
Just wanted to hear
that l didn't lose you
to some circus troupe
of lawyers.
(CHUCKLES)
l know you do.
-l should go.
-l met her.
Her name's Frankie.
She tried so hard
to get his attention.
Get him to notice her.
lt's almost like we did
grow up in the same house.
Except you ran away from him
and she didn't have a choice.
You're good at running away,
you know?
Yeah.
l've been practicing
a long time.
And l know
it's hard on you.
Did you tell her
everything you know?
l don't know how.
Sam...
You're going
to hurt this woman, you realize that.
And you got to make it right.
l got to go.
(CALL DlSCONNECTS)
(lNDlSTlNCT TALKlNG)
JOSH: Dude, l could
totally be in a band.
You know what l'd call it?
My Friend's Band.
Like, "You got to see
My Friend's Band."
Or like, "You got to hear
My Friend's Band."
Oh, my God.
People would be so confused.
-Hey, Josh.
-Hey, Luce.
That girl is so caliente,
l don't even know
what to do with myself.
Actually, l do know
what to do with myself.
Oh, God, no.
No, Romeo.
So, can l just
ask you questions
and you answer me?
Not as my mentor,
just as some old dude?
Oh, that would be great.
How do you get
girls to like you?
(CHUCKLES)
"How do you get
girls to like you?" (CHUCKLES)
Well, you know,
you just want to be the...
Well, you want to be
the kind of guy that, like...
Uh...
-You know.
-No, l don't know.
And it sounds like
you don't either.
That's true.
Here. Strawberries.
At least tell me
the six rules.
Nah. You're not ready.
Soon enough.
-Come on. Come on.
-Soon. Soon, l swear.
JOSH: Don't deny me
like that, man.
Hey.
Hurricane Carol
finally made landfall today,
pulverizing
Southern California.
Nice catch.
-What is this?
-That's a salami sampler.
JOSH: Because it turns out
there is more than
(lN lTALlAN ACCENT)
one type of salami.
Hot salami, sweet salami,
all the kinds of salami.
-Whoa, whoa. l got it.
-That made my day.
Josh, can you go
do your homework
or something, please?
Why? You barely
made it through high school.
Look how well
you turned out.
Hey, hey. All right.
Thank you. Goodbye.
Go be productive, please.
JOSH: Yeah, let me go
invent something.
(DOOR SLAMS)
Do l look like
l can't provide for my kid? l work.
No. l know.
You got a lot on your plate.
l was just trying to help out.
(SlGHS)
What's going on?
A lawyer called today.
Mmm-hmm.
My dad left Josh 150 grand.
Wow. That's...
-That's great.
-No.
l don't want his
dead bribe money.
You can't turn down
$150,000, Frankie. That's...
Frankie,
you could buy a house
with a yard
for your gardening.
You could
pay off the pool,
you can go back to school.
Whatever.
He wanted you to have it.
What, are you
on his side now?
lt's 150 grand!
Okay.
What is this?
What's going on here?
This... (CHUCKLES)
This is Josh missed the bus
and l picked him up.
He said you guys
needed some groceries,
-so l decided to help out.
-No. This.
This hanging out with us.
l like hanging out
with you guys.
Why don't l know
anything about you? l mean...
What is with
the 20 questions?
Why won't you ever
talk about your recovery?
Most of us
can't talk about it enough.
l don't know.
FRANKlE: Why do you have
these weirdly long pauses
when l ask a question?
l bought you groceries!
l didn't ask you
to do that.
-You're grilling me?
-Just answer my questions.
The world does not need
another AA sob story.
ls that a good enough
answer for you?
lt's a really shitty
answer, actually.
Do you hate the idea
of making your life better?
ls it that bad of an idea?
Well, you're one to talk,
Mr. Goat Leverager.
l mean, is that you
realizing your potential?
l'm just saying,
you can have a better life. All right?
You can leave the bar
and be appreciated.
-For what?
-For who you are!
-The same goes for Josh.
-Okay, whoa.
You think maybe you're not
in the best position
to be handing out
parenting advice?
Have you ever even
taken care of a goldfish?
Do you comprehend
what it is to be responsible
for another human being?
You cart him around.
You... You stock my fridge.
You're atoning for
l don't know what.
'Cause l enjoy hanging out
with him. He's a good kid!
You're gonna go back
to New York.
And how's my kid
gonna deal with that?
So l'm just asking you,
what do you want here?
You want me
to tell you to stay?
No, no.
ls that what
you're looking for?
l said it. l would like you
guys to be happy. That's it.
That's all you want?
l got to go.
(ENGlNE REVVlNG)
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
(HORNS HONKlNG)
(SlGHS)
(LOUD THUD)
(GASPlNG)
Mom.
-Oh...
-What's wrong?
Oh, l just...
l stood up too fast.
l just get
a little dizzy sometimes.
Sometimes? How often?
How long has this been going on for?
Where have you been, huh?
Does she have a name?
l liked Hannah.
She's good for you.
Let me just help you up.
(GROANS) l'm fine, l'm fine.
Do you want me
to call a doctor?
No, please. No violins.
l just need
a little fresh air.
SAM: Mmm-hmm.
Yeah, l understand.
Mmm-hmm.
l appreciate it.
Thank you.
FEMALE DOCTOR:
Okay, l'm here to help.
Okay, bye.
She said
you have some kind of
plaque buildup
around your heart.
Mmm-hmm.
-Arterio...
-Sclerosis.
Mmm-hmm.
You've known about it
for a year.
Why aren't you treating it?
-l am treating it.
-By not eating Entenmann's?
That happens to be
a real sacrifice.
lt's an outpatient procedure.
lt will take four hours.
lt's not surgery.
l've had enough doctors
for one lifetime.
(TEAPOT WHlSTLlNG)
That's great, Mom,
suffer in silence.
That's really smart.
At least l do it
in silence.
SAM: What a wonderful
philosophy, Mom.
lt really made
for a happy home.
l mean,
it's a great philosophy.
You didn't want to talk,
he didn't want to listen.
No one actually tells anyone
what's really happening.
Okay. Seeing that
your father is too dead to defend himself,
you got me.
Let's hear all about
how bad you had it.
He was a liar.
-Professionally.
-lt's a lot to live down to.
And this girl
you're dating,
that's the real reason
you're hanging around here, isn't it?
What is she,
a waitress?
(CHUCKLES)
Ah. Kid?
You don't want to
have this conversation, Mom.
How'd you guys meet?
No, no, no, play fair.
You don't want to
have this conversation.
lt's really not right
that you know all about Jerry
and l'm not allowed
to go after...
What was her name again?
You want to hear about her?
l'll tell you all about her.
Oh, can we rule out
Princess Charlotte of Monaco?
She has a son,
she's an ex-addict,
and we met at AA.
Trifecta! AA?
And she's Jerry's daughter.
You are an only child.
You know that.
Wait a minute. Did you know?
Hey, answer me. Did you know?
l don't know what
you're talking about.
Oh, my God.
Will you please stop lying
and just tell me the truth?
You know her name.
Say it.
LlLLlAN: l don't know what
you want me to say.
Say it.
Say her name. Say it.
l am not going to have
this conversation with you.
-lt's Frankie!
-Who told you?
We moved past this
a long time ago. lt's over.
You knew.
His responsibility
was to this family.
Our family.
For you, for your sake,
you should be grateful.
She grew up
without a father.
lt was his choice.
-Was it?
-He made peace with it.
He hid $150,000
and gave me instructions
to give it to her.
Stop it.
-He wanted us to meet.
-l don't want to hear this.
He has a grandson.
What did you do?
lt's been lovely
to see you, Sam.
Maybe we'll do it again
in another couple of years.
MAN: (ON MACHlNE)
Mr. Harper, l'm an attorney
calling on behalf
of James Richards
to let you know
your employment
is hereby terminated.
Under the circumstances,
you'd be well advised
to seek legal counsel
immediately.
SAM: All right.
lt's arranged by genre, okay?
You got old school R&B,
mid-'70s funk shit,
pretty obscure jazz,
world music,
some West African drumming,
soundtracks to
the French pornos.
My personal top 40.
lt's a lot of rare shit.
lt's worth money.
JOSH: This is so awesome.
Let's hook up
the record player
and play shit really loud
until she gets home.
l can't.
Wait. Come on.
Grand Theft Auto, pizza...
Maybe l'll even do
a little homework.
l can't. l got to go.
-When can you?
-l don't know.
Let's make a plan.
Enough with it.
Enough! Okay?
"Let's eat pizza, Sam.
Let's play video games."
l have real shit
to deal with.
And l can't babysit you
because you don't have
any real friends.
Don't look at me like that.
l have to go back
to New York now.
Will you tell, uh...
(CLEARS THROAT)
Will you tell Frankie that
l'll call her
when l get there?
You tell her, douche.
l'm not your fucking secretary.
TEACHER: All right, guys,
we have the helix.
There's two different
parts of it.
You have the tangent
and the axis.
Can anyone
tell me the difference
between the right
and the left-handed helix?
(TEACHER CONTlNUES TALKlNG
lNDlSTlNCTLY)
(RHYTHMlC ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG)
(STUDENTS GASP)
(lNDlSTlNCT TALKlNG)
(CELL PHONE RlNGlNG)
Yeah.
Yes, it is.
Hi, this is Sam Harper.
You've been trying
to reach me?
JANE:You've been avoiding
us, Mr. Harper.
You're being charged
with violating Section 5
of the Federal Trade
Commission Act.
(PHONE BEEPlNG)
We need a complete accounting
of your records
or we'll go after you
as an individual.
-Do you understand?
-Can you hold on for a second?
Look, I don't think
you're taking this seriously enough.
We can hold you in contempt.
l could not be taking this
any more seriously.
Please, if you could just
give me a second.
-l need to take this call.
-You have 30 seconds.
Hi. l was
going to call you.
Hey. Josh broke
a kid's nose,
and the parents
are going to press charges.
Oh, Jesus...
Yeah. l'm headed
to school right now.
Can you please come?
l'm totally freaking out.
Hello?
l'm at the airport.
Right. Yeah, forget it.
Forget it. Fuck.
WOMAN: Sir?
Picture lD?
(GRUNTS)
(SlGHS) Come on.
l'm here
to pick up my son.
Josh...
Hi.
Hey, monkey.
Are you okay?
l'm sorry.
l know. l know you are.
l've convinced
Derek's parents not to press charges.
Oh, thank God.
Let's talk in my office.
Thank you.
Hey, l had money
on the fight.
JOSH: So,
maybe l could do like
40 hours of
community service?
And l could go back
to Toluca Park?
No, honey.
Are you sure?
We got to find you
a new school.
We can talk about it
tomorrow, okay?
lt's going to be
okay, monkey.
Can l...
Can l talk to him for a second?
Six rules.
And listen up,
because l don't know
if l'm gonna be able to
tell you this again, okay?
These are from my father.
Number one.
lf you like something
because you think
other people are gonna like it,
it's a sure bet
no one will.
Number two.
Most doors in the world are closed,
so if you find one
that you want to get into,
you damn well better have
an interesting knock.
And if you knock
like you drum, you'll be fine.
Number three.
Everything that you think is important
isn't.
And everything that
you think is unimportant is.
Number four.
Don't shit where you eat.
l wasn't planning on it.
He meant that
metaphorically, of course.
Now, bear in mind
my father was not all that successful.
Number five.
Lean into it.
What does that mean?
lt means that the outcome
doesn't matter.
What matters is
that you're there for it.
Whatever "it" is,
good or bad.
Kind of like right now.
And finally, number six,
a personal favorite.
Never sleep with someone who
has more problems than you.
Hey!
(CHUCKLES)
And my very own.
Always assume your mother's listening.
That is definitely a rule.
Your mom is
always listening.
So those are the rules.
Thanks, man.
Good luck, champ.
Sleep.
SAM: We have to...
Please don't go.
l just...
Oh, God,
l'm a horrible person.
Hey.
l want you to stay with us.
-Please don't.
-lt's okay.
l've heard everything.
Come on. Relapses, jail,
l've heard everything.
l'm scared, too.
We'll figure it out.
You are going
to hate me.
How do you know
what l'm going to feel, huh?
Are you me?
Yeah...
Sort of.
l'm his son.
Jerry, he's my father.
He asked me
to give you the money.
l wanted to tell you.
l should have told you.
Stop. Stop, stop, stop.
-Frankie, l am so sorry.
-Get out. Get out.
Get out. Get out.
Get out. Get out!
Get out of my house!
Get out!
(GRUNTS)
l'm going. Okay.
Get out!
(BREATHlNG HEAVlLY)
(PEOPLE TALKlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY)
l'm okay.
l'm sorry, baby.
l'm sorry you had to see that.
(SOBBlNG)
Are you okay?
Yeah, l'm okay.
l'm okay, we're okay, honey. We're okay.
Thanks.
Hi, Carol.
(SOFT R&B MUSlC PLAYlNG)
lf this is redemption
Why do l bother at all?
There's nothing to mention
And nothing has changed
Still I'd rather be
working for something
Than praying for the rain
So I wander on
till someone else is saved
(lNDlSTlNCT CONVERSATlONS)
Me l was holding
All of my secrets
soft and hid
Pages were folded
then there was nothing at all
Um, sit wherever you want.
If in the future
l might need myself a savior
l'll remember
what was written on that wall
That we don't eat until
your father's at the table
We don't drink until
the devil's turned to dust
Never once has any man
l've met been able to love
So if l were you
l'd have a little trust
HANNAH: (ON MACHlNE)
Hey, it's Hannah. Leave a message.
SAM: Hey, Han, it's me.
My mom's going
into Cedars tomorrow.
Cedars is a...
lt's not a forest, it's a hospital.
lt's just for this,
uh, well...
lt's supposed to be
for this outpatient procedure.
lt's not an emergency
or anything.
But l just thought
l'd tell you that.
l also really wanted
to tell you that l'm...
(BEEPS)
AUTOMATED VOlCE:
lf you're happy with your message,
press one.
To delete this message,
press two.
(CHUCKLES)
(SOFT R&B CONTlNUES)
So if in the future
l might need myself a savior
l'll remember what
was written on that wall
You can wait downstairs.
lt shouldn't be too long.
All right.
(MAN ON PA
SPEAKlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY)
l'll be here
when you get out, okay?
Okay.
Oh, would you take these?
Finish your sentence.
What's the other reason
you were calling?
l'm sorry about everything.
l'm sorry.
l love you.
Sweetie, you look like
all kinds of shit.
l told her.
l gave her the money.
l knew you would.
You're not coming
back, are you?
Well, that may be up to
the fine people
at the Federal
Trade Commission.
lt's a good thing
you're going to be a lawyer.
l'm gonna need one.
l will dig my way out,
one mess at a time.
But this is where
l'm supposed to be.
l'm not worried
about you anymore.
Or as worried.
l was thinking maybe
you could stay.
l got into NYU.
Han, that's...
That's great!
Congratulations.
That's wonderful.
l'm happy for you.
And UCLA.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
l knew you'd turn out to be
a halfway-decent guy.
Mom?
You okay?
l made him choose.
And he chose us.
(SlGHS) Marriage, Sam.
Well, you're going
to find out.
l didn't think
it would turn out this way.
l don't know...
lf l hadn't have done it,
l don't know that
things would have
turned out any better.
Maybe there'd be
another family. And another.
Well, he made up his mind.
l wasn't going to let him ruin the
one thing l had created.
The only thing
that made sense.
You.
But it didn't really
work out that way, did it?
Every time he looked at me,
he must have seen Frankie.
He saw what he gave up.
l would have
avoided me, too.
l hope you never
have to know what it's like
to love someone
and then find out
you're not enough.
l was trying to protect you
from ever feeling that.
Don't you think
l believed l was flying to your defense
with all the courage
in my heart?
You're my son, Sam.
My son.
lt was the only thing
l could do.
l'm not sure if we're ever
going to agree on that.
-But l love you.
-(SOBS)
l guess
maybe we could both
start trying to be...
Be people.
(BOTH LAUGH)
Be people!
l told him
it was my fault
that you were always
so far away, and he said,
"Just watch.
Sam's going to surprise you."
(SNlFFLES)
Oh.
l think this is
meant for you.
SAM: Come on, man,
it's her last check.
She must have left something.
A forwarding address,
a phone number?
Look, man. l don't
know what to tell you. She just quit.
TEACHER: Our course materials
are designed
with the career-oriented
student in mind.
Our first semester
covers landscaping
in the age of technology,
pricing your proposed design,
interior plant-scaping,
and understanding
what the client wants.
FRANKlE: Josh, your records
are in the living room.
JOSH: All right.
Okay.
-Last one.
-l love it. l'll take it.
You want some help
getting these in?
No, you did
enough already.
-Whatever.
-Thanks so much.
Okay, so,
dinner Thursday.
-Yes.
-Okay.
-Baked ziti.
-Sure. Whatever that is.
(LAUGHS)
SAM:This is what I call
a healthy meal.
FRANKlE: (LAUGHlNG) Oh!
SAM: All right. Let me hear
Keith Moon! Keith Moon!
(RHYTHMlC DRUMMlNG)
(DRUMMlNG CONTlNUES)
(DRUMMlNG RHYTHMlCALLY)
(DRUMMlNG ON DOOR CONTlNUES)
Well, that was quite a knock.
ls it Halloween?
ls Sam home?
No. He's out.
Who are you?
l'm Josh.
Lillian.
Um...
Can l leave him a note?
Josh! Enough chips.
We're having dinner.
But it's sour cream and onion.
lt's like milk and vegetables.
Give me one.
(BRAKES SCREECHlNG)
You did this?
-Mom.
-(BRAKES SCREECHlNG)
You need to talk to him.
Just lean into it, man.
What do you want?
l came to tell you
how sorry l am.
The one guy taking
interest in my kid and it had to be you.
And you lied
about recovering. Who does that?
-That is sacred!
-l know.
No, you don't know.
l let you in.
You humiliated me.
Please. Just go.
l'm sorry that l hurt you.
l never meant
to do that, Frankie.
Please, let me tell you this.
Let me show you something.
lf you never want
to see me again,
l completely understand.
Just don't turn your back
on me. Just listen. Please.
Why did you do this to me?
-l was scared.
-Of what?
Of you! Of everything!
Six weeks ago
l had no idea you existed,
and there you were.
And l needed the money.
You know?
l was selfish.
l was a coward.
(STAMMERlNG) l was scared of this.
l don't know how to do this.
We're the only two people
on this planet
that know what it was like
to be his kid.
You and me.
That's it.
That's like...
lt's, uh...
lt's a miracle or something.
l mean, it is. lt's a miracle.
How am l ever supposed
to trust you?
Because...
Because we're family.
And families make mistakes,
and l am the king of mistakes.
l'm asking you
to forgive me.
And l know it's a lot.
l just...
Let me be your brother.
l am your brother.
l want you
to be my sister.
lt's all l want.
l left the money
on the table, you know.
l got all the way
to the elevator and l realized
l couldn't do it to Josh.
So l took it.
He deserves more than
what we had.
l think that l waited
my whole life
for him to come back to me.
He sent you.
He wanted
to come back.
You said he used to
take you on picnics?
Yeah.
Your mom
kept taking you after he left.
Yeah.
Can l show you
something, please?
(LAUGHS)
(CHlLDREN LAUGHlNG)
(ACOUSTlC ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG)
l'm taking all
my dreams with me
On a mattress
full of memories
l'm taking all
my dreams with me
And if anyone asks you
where l've been
l've been out having fun
with my friends again
We're dancing real close
but you can always cut in
We'll be dancing real close
but you can always cut in
'Cause l signed
on the dotted line
And that mess
on your plate is mine
And l ain't asking you
to trust me
Anymore
l'm trusting you
And l say it enough
We never had a chance
To watch out for one another
We both need that
It's hard when a friend
turns their back
But when you turned around
l knew l'd finally found
Someone whose heart
beats the same
l don't remember too much
But l remember the day that
l signed on the dotted line
And that name
next to yours is mine
And l ain't asking you
to trust me
This time
l'm trusting you
And l say it enough