Benny: Hello?
Paul: Hi.
Gary gave me your number.
Thought you might be
the right guy to talk to.
I got the red vinyl
of "bird blows the blues."
You got "bird blows the blues"?
Paul: Yeah, Charlie Parker.
I know, Charlie Parker.
You got the red one?
Paul: Yep.
What kind of shape's it in?
Paul: It looks perfect to me.
No scratches.
But there's no...
There's no cover.
Yeah, it was made before
they started to make the covers.
Paul: I don't know anything
about records, but...
It's in the white record sleeve.
Okay.
I'm gonna want
to buy that from you.
Let me call you right back.
- $5.
- Hello?
- Hey, it's Benny.
That kid call you?
Yeah, he says he has
"bird blows the blues."
Gary: That's why
I had him call you.
Where do you know this guy from?
Gary: He comes in the shop
and he buys stuff.
He's a nice kid.
Benny: You think he's legit?
I only know him from here,
but yeah.
I mean, he wouldn't try
to pull a fast one?
I mean, it could be
a fake or something.
Gary: He's not that kind
of kid,
not from any of
my business with him.
So why don't you buy it off him?
My customers don't buy
that high-end stuff over here.
Um, he said he'd give me a slice
if I helped him find someone.
Okay, thanks, Gary.
I'll talk to you later.
I would highly appreciate it
if you would let me go back
to sleep for like,
- five minutes.
Is that possible right now?
By highly appreciate it,
I mean, like,
it'll make me really,
really happy.
Did you eat?
I'm having juice.
Juice isn't food.
Well, I'm not hungry.
"Russia's most recent move
intensifies the already
heated confrontation,
causing unpredictable gyrations
of the Moscow
stock exchange."
We can't keep skipping.
They called my mom.
Your mom's the most timid
little freak I've ever met.
What did she do, like
tell you not to do it again?
She told me she'd
take my phone away.
Yeah, for like ten minutes.
And she said that I was
disappointing her.
You could walk into a mall
and shoot like 100 people
and she'd never be
disappointed in you.
Come on, please?
Don't make that face.
You're trying
to make me feel guilty!
I'm hurting inside!
That's what you're seeing.
Ugh!
You know,
I've gained some weight
and I'm not saying I'm fat,
I'm just not like ultra-skinny.
You shouldn't be
ultra-skinny.
I'm not saying it's a bad thing
that I gained five pounds.
It sounds like that's exactly
- what you're saying.
- No, I'm stating a fact,
I have gained weight.
And you're terrified
of gaining weight.
No, I'm terrified of being fat.
If the scale said you've
gained five pounds, okay,
but I don't see
those extra five pounds
on your body.
New runner's here.
- Hi.
- Claire?
- Yeah. Hey.
- Phil. Hi.
- Nice to meet you.
- You, too.
- Come on back.
- Okay.
- Thanks for being on time.
- Yeah.
Today we're working on a story
that's either a suicide
or a murder.
Yeah.
A few days ago,
a man was found by his
wife in their bedroom.
He was shot in the head.
So we'll go down
to the apartment building,
maybe talk to some neighbors,
but our main goal...
Your main goal
is to talk to the wife.
Well, I... I didn't realize
that we were gonna be
jumping into something so big,
you know, right away.
It's big and it's not big,
depending on how you see it.
Terrible things happen
every day in this city.
After a while, you start
to see all of it
as a consistent, dependable,
and unavoidable pattern.
- Whoops!
I like to bang my head
a little in the morning
before coming into work.
Helps me get pumped for the day.
What kind of music do you like?
Claire: Um...
Leonard Cohen, Bob Dylan,
that kind of stuff.
So you probably
never listen to metal?
Claire: Um, no.
Yeah.
It's not for everybody.
I mean, you can put it on
if you want. You listen to it.
- Phil: I'll play a softer one.
- Okay.
Phil: This is actually my band.
We're called cock killer.
I play bass.
Morning, ray.
Hey, I got a big day going here.
I might be on a big score.
"Bird blows the blues,"
Charlie Parker,
a red vinyl. Real beauty.
Hey, I got a new shirt.
It's a nice shirt,
but I don't know
if it's my style.
What do you think?
- It looks good on you.
- Yeah, we'll see.
I didn't clean the fridge.
Benny: What?
Sorry,
I didn't clean the fridge.
Hey.
Listen.
I love you.
You're my good friend,
but you can't spend your
whole life on the couch.
You gotta promise me
you're gonna leave
the house today.
Even just a walk
around the block.
I can do that.
Good. Go take a shower,
take a walk.
We got fresh towels.
I washed the towels.
I said I could wash
my own towels.
I was washing the towels,
so I washed yours, too.
No problem.
Next time, you wash 'em.
Okay, thanks, Benny.
All right.
I'm gonna get us some coffees,
get us up on our feet.
Uh, two coffees.
Hey, what do you think
of this shirt I'm wearing here?
It's a good shirt.
Yeah, it's a good shirt.
I'd call it very fine.
But what matters is,
you know, how it fits me.
What it says about me.
Hey, Jo-Jo. What do you think
about the shirt on Ben?
It's a good shirt.
Benny: Obviously good shirt,
but am I supposed to be
wearing this shirt?
I think so.
Okay, that helps.
If you're telling
the truth, that helps.
You should wear that shirt.
It look good on you.
All the time.
That's all I hear, is just
daddy this and daddy that.
He's a wonderful person.
You know what?
He's an all-right person.
He's the us ambassador
to Vietnam.
So what?
He's my hero!
I know.
What have you done
with your life?
Uh, let's see, I won
a Guggenheim fellowship.
Woman: 10 years ago.
Retire next year.
Because here's
the part I don't get.
It's okay... it's okay
for the fans
to boo another club.
Morning, Jimmy.
I got a haircut.
Looks good.
There's a new lady
at the place I go to.
She's not a bad lookin' lady.
I thought you were interested
in the lady that owns
the shop, as I recall.
I was, but this new lady
puts a hand on your head
while she uses
the other hand to cut,
and her hand is soft and tender.
Plus, the other lady
never gave me
a green light to make a move.
This new one?
She likes to wink and flirt,
kind of like we're in
on a joke together.
I'm captivated by the strength
of our attraction.
It might go somewhere.
And she's obviously very
talented at cutting hair.
Phil: That guy is
your direct Nemesis.
He works for the post.
And those are the
detectives on the case.
You better hurry over there.
Okay.
Man: Hey, fellas,
what's going on?
- Man: Is she in there?
- Yeah. Can you just tell us
- come on, tell us.
- Any information.
Please, just uh, anything
- don't not tell us!
- That you can provide
- would be helpful to the...
- Come on, just
- a little something?
- Okay, anything, please.
- Something! Please?
- Can you please just...?
Bye.
Sorry, I wasn't fast enough.
Well, you tried.
So, let's say
this was a normal day.
You'd call me to tell me
which detectives you encountered
and I'd try
to get ahold of them.
I'd say 50% of this job
is plain luck,
and today is your lucky day.
I happen to have a working
relationship with these guys.
- Okay.
- This is Ronnie.
Ronnie, this is Phil
from New York news.
Hi, Phil from the New York news.
Did I just see you
hiding out in your car?
Yes, you did.
Ronnie: And is that
your new protg?
Yeah. So, where are
you guys headed?
Phil wants to know
where we're headed.
Darryl wants to know
why you wanna know.
Obviously because
we're reporting on the case.
Ronnie: Well, Darryl thinks...
And I'd have to agree
that it's because then,
you'd have the opportunity
to impress your protg
with your fabulous connections
to the New York City
law enforcement.
It could be that.
Ronnie: It's okay to admit it,
Phil.
If you're trying
to get laid here,
just admit it.
Yes, that's correct.
We're headed
to east Broadway and pike.
Thanks for calling.
Got the address
where they're headed.
Wow! You're really
good at this.
It's my job.
Melanie: We have
leftover noodles.
Wendy: I'm not hungry.
Melanie: We have beer.
Okay.
Scott.
Melanie:
He has a beautiful penis.
- Impossible.
- Melanie: Possible.
Very possible.
So possible, it's actually true.
The very basic look
and shape of the penis
dictates that they are
all, fundamentally,
every single one of them,
by nature, ugly.
Okay, I happen to like them,
and I happen to like
Scott's the best.
I mean, it's like
big and straight
- and soft and excited.
- Ew, no, you like it
because you like Scott,
but I don't care
if his penis looks like
a unicorn horn.
It's not a good-looking penis
because a good-looking
penis does not exist.
Vaginas are the ugly ones.
Wendy:
I agree that they're ugly,
but penises are uglier,
due to their inability
to be anything
other than ambitious.
Structurally, they're built
as weapons of penetration.
They're swords,
they're battering rams.
- Penis.
- God!
Now I'm gonna have...
I'm gonna have major
dick nightmares.
- Thanks a lot.
- All right, fine.
Is that better?
Is that vagina better?
- No.
- God, they had so much hair
in the '60s and '70s.
I mean...
God, look.
That is so much hair!
There's nothing wrong with that.
Melanie: No, definitely not.
I mean, it's like a lot of hair.
That's actual jungles
up in there.
- Look at that.
- Can we like stop talking
about dicks and Vaginas?
Yeah.
"Bird blows the blues."
Let me see what
kind of shape it's in.
Yeah, you're the only one
I'm calling.
If I say I won't sell it
to anybody else, Mickey...
Charlie Parker, of course.
I already told ya
I won't sell it to anybody else.
I'll pay you off.
All of it, I promise.
I got cash comin' for you today.
- Ray: Hello?
- Hey, ray.
- You off the couch yet?
- Yeah.
What are you doing?
Um...
Walking across the room.
Benny: Take a shower
and leave the house.
And don't forget
to clean the refrigerator.
Okay.
Okay. See you later.
- Woman: Hey.
- Hey, there.
Woman: Hi.
- Hey, I was thinking.
- Yo.
Let me take you out tonight.
I got money coming in.
- You available?
- Uh, yeah.
It's his dad's turn tonight.
I think I'm free.
All right,
we'll have some cheese.
- Mmm.
- Have some wine.
- Mmm.
- Some good food,
make a nice little spread.
Ooh. All right.
Make it real nice.
Okay. I'm all yours.
Oh, hey, this is Owen.
- Hi.
- This is Benny.
Hey.
Are you her boyfriend now?
I don't know, maybe.
Owen: Do you love her?
Benny: I can't tell you that.
You seem like the kind of kid
that would spread
that information.
I think she loves you.
Whoa.
Did she tell you that?
I mean, first, I wanted
to make it with somebody
who had been with Sinatra.
I mean, let's face it,
he's Sinatra.
And two, I wanted to see
if I was better, in bed.
So I ended up making it
with her for two weeks,
and after it was over, I said,
"well, you know, like,
how do I compare?"
She said
there was no-o-body
better than Sinatra.
That he would forever
be her greatest lover.
I got screwed up
over that for a year.
He was a powerful man.
He was a good singer.
Decent actor.
I wasn't so much
into his acting.
Man:
Baseball time from Fenway park
in Boston.
We're about to play
the Boston Red Sox
and, of course,
the Yankees send your way...
- Buster: Hey, Jimmy!
- Radio: Play-by-play.
Yours truly along for the ride.
Buster: Jimmy, who's this?
"Let's go to Vegas
and break the law."
I don't know.
"Get on my jet to Vegas."
Married Mia, divorced Mia.
She did
"Rosemary's baby."
Yeah!
Screw Polanski.
Who's the owner?
Detective Ritz.
This is detective Yates.
We're with the
New York police department.
We want to ask you
a few questions.
Uh, in private, if possible.
Hello.
Uh, I'm with the New York news.
I was wondering
if I could speak with you
for a minute.
So, the two detectives
that came in here,
I'm assuming they told you
about the case
that they're investigating.
Said it was a, um...
Suicide, possibly a murder.
- They didn't know.
- They didn't...?
That was it?
Then they left?
That's all I'm comfortable
telling you.
Why would they come in here?
I mean, seems random.
Listen, I'm not good
with confrontation, okay?
I'm not a big fan of people
getting mad at me.
In general.
One of my favorite
cock killer songs is
"statutory adulthood."
Ralphie, our lead singer,
my best friend, my cousin,
all in one wonderful package,
writes the lyrics.
They go...
- Do you mind?
- No, okay.
"Fear is the rape of the mind.
Life is an illusion of time.
They want you to suffocate,
to think being
a slave's your fate.
The chains are your chains.
They key is in your pocket.
The pain is your pain.
Use the key
to unlock it."
So, you have
to get tough, Claire.
There might not be
any valuable information
in that clock shop, per se,
but you have to find out
if there is.
Go back in and pretend
you've figured something out.
Like what?
Pick one, the husband
or the widow.
Say you know one of them
is a customer.
Obviously, it'll work out
better if you're right,
but go with your instinct.
My instinct is to quit this job,
run away, and go home.
Okay, ignore your instinct.
Okay.
Hello?
Ray, this is Lester.
You mess with my sister?
Uh, what do you mean?
Lester: Think I don't have
the Internet, ray?
You think Janet doesn't have it?
I... it's the Internet.
We have it.
I love your sister.
I'd never do anything
to hurt her.
Lester: Ray, you put naked
pictures of Janet
on the Internet.
Yeah, you hurt her.
You hurt her bad, and, now,
she can't leave the house
because she's so afraid.
Because of you, some very gross
and disturbing people
are looking at naked
pictures of my sister
- on the Internet.
- I was in a very bad
emotional place last week,
actin' like a crazy person.
I shouldn't have did that.
Lester: Well, you did.
How can we fix the problem?
First thing you do is let
me beat the shit out of you.
Okay.
Lester: Where are you?
Um, I'm at the library.
Bullshit.
What are you reading?
Ray: "Hunt for red October."
Bullshit.
Who wrote it?
Ray?
Must say there
on the front cover.
That's normally where
the name of the author is.
Sometimes in big letters.
This copy doesn't have a cover.
Lester: Okay.
First thing that needs to happen
is I'm gonna come to your place
and I'm gonna break your legs.
I deserve that.
But I'm at the library.
Lester: Go home.
I'll see you in an hour.
Come on, baby.
Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh! Yo!
You saw that.
- I was tying my shoe.
- It hit the rim
and then it hit the tree,
yo, and it went in!
Tying my shoe.
Wendy: I understand
the insatiable urge
to procreate
with your boyfriend.
If I had one, I'd hightail
it over there, too.
Yeah, but he thinks that you
hate him because,
when I go and hang out
with him, you won't come.
Because I don't like watching
other people make out
in front of me.
Big deal.
And also for the fact that
you just don't like him,
as a person.
I'm through
explaining my opinion
on the merits
of your relationship.
If the relationship
were as strong
and meaningful
as you insist it is
by continually bringing up
conversations such as this one,
I highly doubt you'd care,
one way or another,
what I think of him.
Okay, well, the problem
is, is that
you say that it's okay for me
to go and hang out with him,
when I know
it's gonna hurt your
feelings when I do.
If you felt comfortable
around him,
we would all hang out
and we would all be happy!
Except the one person who is
the person not making out,
watching the other
two people make out.
We won't make out.
That is a straight-faced lie
and scientifically,
physically, impossible.
Melanie: Okay, fine.
So maybe you don't
like him as a person,
but I wish you could like him,
if only for the fact that
he's important to me.
No, I detest people
who like other people
for reasons like that.
It's gross.
It causes stupid problems.
You detest everybody.
Not everybody.
Almost everybody.
I detest anybody
who's unintelligent
and ignorant of the
suffering of the world.
Scott cares a lot
about the world.
And therein lies your problem,
which is that, beneath
your paradoxical, dual desires
to both be alone
with him constantly
while also keeping
the friendships you had
before you met him
intact and unchanging,
there's like
this worry inside you
that he's not as perfect
as you think he is,
so, then, when someone,
or something, or me,
questions whether or not
he's right for you
or good enough for you,
you defend him and,
and give him these heroic
and exaggerated attributes
and paint a picture
that's not really him.
Look, I'm not saying Scott
doesn't care about the world,
but I... I am saying that
I've never seen Scott
think deeply about anything
other than video games
or your body.
I detest the way
you detest people.
I know, and I love you for that.
All right, I know
you don't want to talk to me,
but...
If you could just
tell me one thing,
anything.
No.
I was just outside talking
to my supervisor,
and one of the detectives
told him
that the wife of the deceased is
one of your customers.
She came in here
to get something fixed.
Well, that's all
that they told us.
But the thing is is that
we have a relationship,
and they have...
I mean, the other
detectives have,
you know, other relationships
with different papers.
And, eventually,
everyone finds out everything,
so, whatever you do
or don't tell me right now,
someone's gonna find out.
Job is about who finds it first.
So, just...
Just...
You just stopped
listening to me?
Oh, no. I'm just waiting
for you to leave.
Claire: Okay.
Radio: Ground ball down
the third baseline.
And it is an error
for the third baseman.
That's the second
Cleveland misplay.
Phil: So, the husband's
estimated time of death
is 8:00 pm.
Broken wristwatch
you saw on the desk
- reads 8:02.
- Right.
The watch looks like
it belongs to a male.
Maybe it's a coincidence
that the estimated time of death
nearly matches
the time on the watch,
but is the coincidence
significant enough for us
to at least pretend
like it's true
until we find out it's not,
IE, act as if the watch
belongs to the husband
until we find out otherwise?
I'm not sure.
I'm just talking it
through out loud.
Oh, I thought you were
asking for my opinion.
No, I mean, yeah...
I'm asking what you think
and I'm asking what I think
at the same time.
Okay.
Well, what about what you
were saying earlier
about taking risks
in your guesswork?
That's right.
Very good.
- Nice place.
- Want a doughnut?
Sure.
- Good doughnut.
- Perfect texture, I think.
Best doughnuts in the city.
Maybe even the whole world,
for all we know.
I can't say I've had better.
Paul: I'm a big fan of this rug.
Benny: It's a nice rug.
Sit down, take a load off.
Comfortable chair, right?
Yeah, you sink in.
You got good taste.
If I ask you a direct
question, will you...
Will you be honest with me?
What do you think of this
shirt I'm wearing here?
It's new and I don't
know if it's right on me.
I noticed it the moment
you came in.
- All right, be honest.
- I mean, I don't...
I don't know you, but your
personality seems pretty,
you know,
straightforward and modest.
This shirt says something else.
You know, I guess it's probably
a little more upscale than
what you'd like to project?
I think I'd say
it's a fancy shirt.
Paul: There's nothing wrong
with being fancy.
I wouldn't do it every day,
but, you know,
once a week's good.
Yeah, I'm warming
up to the idea.
I like your taste,
so what you say helps.
Okay, I'm gonna go get
the record, all right?
Yeah, I don't know
much about jazz.
You know, not sure
if my grandfather did,
given the condition
of the record.
It's possible he didn't
even know he owned it.
You know, I was just given some
of his things when he died.
You don't want to keep it?
Paul: You mean for
sentimental reasons?
No, I'm not like that.
That's not true.
I'm sorry. I lied.
I mean, I forgot.
He left me his collection
of baseball cards.
He loved baseball.
I do know that.
And I'm keeping those,
but not this.
Yeah. I'm keeping
the baseball cards.
- Hey, ray, what's up, man?
- How you doing, man?
- Can't talk right now.
- Where you going?
Eugene: Hello?
Eugene, it's ray.
Let me up.
I know you're
computer illiterate, ray.
Our whole relationship
depends on that fact.
You pay me $10 an hour,
I send out your rsums,
I update your profiles,
I buy whatever shit on whatever
weird websites you happen
to hear about.
But I explicitly told
you the consequences
when we were uploading
those photos
and I even had you
repeat it back to me,
"once the photos are uploaded,
what's done is done."
What's done is done, yeah.
So that means...
Which I explained to you
when we were
uploading the photos,
against my strongest protest
and against every warning
I could've possibly given you...
I paid you an extra 20 bucks!
Eugene: Yes, I know.
I admit that.
And I'm an idiot, too.
But, what's done is done.
Even if I delete the
photos from this site,
they still exist elsewhere,
either on a search
or from a user
who downloaded the photos
and uploaded them
somewhere else.
That's how the Internet works.
The photos are available
to any horny freak
who wants them.
I think I remember
you saying that before,
but my mind wasn't right.
You know I wasn't listening.
Okay, I deleted them from
the original site, okay?
That's all I'm askin'.
Maybe Lester will cool
down after that.
I hope so.
She's the love of my life.
I can't believe I put naked
pictures on the Internet
of the love of my life.
- Scott: We brought beer.
- Melanie: Thank you!
Scott: Hey, Wendy. What's up?
- Nothing.
- Scott: Cool.
Oh, have you, uh, met river?
They've met like
a million times.
For a perfect example,
at your birthday party.
Fine, sue me.
I just didn't
specifically recall
the two of them hanging out.
Oh, my god, are you
gonna drink all of that?
Ah! Yes, I am.
Wendy, do you want a beer?
Um, I was thinking of leaving.
No, you can't leave.
We need you.
Yeah, you can't leave.
We just arrived.
- We need you.
- Wendy: For what?
- To keep the, uh, fire?
- Fire?
To keep the spirit...
The spirit going.
I don't know,
I just chugged a whole beer.
Hey, come on. We're...
Having a little party.
Uh, there are only four of us.
Yeah, and if you leave,
there'll only be three.
This is starting
to sound suspiciously like
some kind of purposeful plan.
It's totally not.
Of course not.
No. Why would we
do that to you?
River: I didn't know
there was a plan.
I didn't even know
you guys were coming
'til you rang the buzzer,
because she knew that
I'd be gone in a minute
if I had that information
because I'm like
this big, antisocial
creature sometimes,
and today is one of those times.
But...
You must've known
that I was gonna be here.
- Yeah.
- And you must've known
that they would go
make out, eventually.
I mean, that's what they do.
I find it really hard
to believe there wasn't
some idea in your head
that we would be left alone.
River: I honestly didn't think
it through that far.
Anyway, what kind of plan
would it have been?
Aren't you a lesbian?
Wendy: Who said that?
I don't remember who.
I mean, Melanie thinks
I'm a lesbian.
She thinks that because
I've only ever been with girls.
Two girls.
She also thinks
I'm a virgin, which I'm not.
I've had sex,
with two girls.
But I don't think
I'm totally a lesbian.
I mean, I'm attracted
to boys, but...
I don't know what it's
like to be with one,
Watch Movies Online Free
so I don't know
if I'd actually enjoy it.
Um, being with a boy.
How long have you
lived in New York?
Three years.
Cool.
- Uh, you?
- Eight.
Where did you come from?
Seattle. Washington.
You?
Cincinnati.
Ohio.
There she is.
Claire: I'm nervous.
Phil:
"Fear is the rape of the mind."
Okay, thanks.
Uh, excuse me!
Mrs. Krimsky: Oh!
You dropped your grapefruit.
Thank you.
Mrs. Krimsky: No, you called out
before I dropped the grapefruit.
You said "excuse me!"
You said it loudly
and in my direction.
Because you
dropped a grapefruit.
No.
You called out, I turned around,
I dropped it, in that order.
Claire: No, I called out
because of the grapefruit.
Then why would I turn around?
Why would I call out?
I think my mind must be
playing tricks on me.
I apologize for insisting
that I was right.
Aggressively
insisting upon things
is an overall problem I have
in my general personality.
It didn't seem to me like you
were aggressively insisting.
Well, that's kind of you,
but I know how screwed up I am.
Judging myself harshly
and analyzing
my actions
are my other problems,
so I better shut up.
Though, I also have
trouble shutting up.
I'm not crying.
My eyes are always moist.
I'm too emotionally
detached from life to cry.
Bye.
Excuse me, I'm from the post.
Can I ask you a few questions?
Is it true you were at a movie
when your husband died?
And you left
the theater at 8:30?
Come on, you'll tell her,
but not me?
New York news!
She's from the New York news!
Him, too! He's from
the New York news!
It's unethical not to tell her.
No, I was gonna tell her
before I asked any questions.
Tell us about
your husband's watch!
You see that?
How she acted when you
said that about the watch?
Come on, tell me
about the watch!
So, it's obviously
the husband's watch.
Claire: Yeah.
Buster: Do you
comprehend the idea that you
could potentially be
part of solving a murder?
They said it could be a suicide.
Man 3: Sounds like they're
after the wife.
Exactly.
You said she came in
to get that watch fixed,
then two detectives and
a reporter came in afterwards.
They think she did it.
Maybe he was wearing it
when he was killed.
I didn't want to say it,
but I think
that's what we're
all thinkin', isn't it?
I'm not thinking anything.
He died on Sunday.
She came in on Tuesday
to get the watch fixed.
Now, why did she do that?
Why would somebody want
to fix a dead man's watch?
She might want him
to be wearing it
when he's buried.
Sure, could be.
Or... she didn't want anybody
to know what time it was
when she murdered him.
Jimmy: She didn't look
like a murderer to me.
She's a nice, decent woman.
- Benny: Hey, there he is.
- Hey, man.
Noah. What's up?
Noah:
I'm going to this guy's place.
- He has "bird blows the blues."
- Benny: Say that again.
Evidently,
he has "bird blows the blues."
This guy here, Paul?
Did you buy something from him?
"Bird blows the blues."
- Hi, I'm Noah.
- Yeah, of course.
Benny: Noah and I
ran into each other outside.
We know each other. We see
each other at record shops.
We both collect records.
But there's some confusion.
Benny said you sold "bird
blows the blues" to him.
- Yeah, I did.
- Then why am I here?
I know. I wasn't thinking.
Did you think
I wasn't gonna buy it?
Goddamn it!
Son of a bitch! Open up!
You see this? He's a thief.
- Let us in!
- What's going on?
You got a thief
in your building.
He shut the door on us
and won't let us in.
I got keys for that place,
but it's for emergencies.
If you call saving his door
an emergency, let's see it.
Hey, he doesn't even
live here, that guy.
- Say that again.
- He's been here
for about a week, subletting
from a young woman.
I think he went
out the back door.
I don't see him.
This guy's the biggest
liar I've ever met.
He told me how much
he liked this rug.
See that statue? This ballerina?
I knew there was something
wrong when I saw this.
This guy, he gave me a very good
doughnut so I'd like him.
He told me how much
he loved my shirt,
so I'd believe his lies.
- I hate this guy.
- Noah: Benny, look.
There's nine of them.
He must've printed them
and glued the labels on.
It's a good scam.
These nine, plus yours.
That's good money.
All right, let me call
my man Gary.
We'll figure this out.
We'll find him.
Hey, I know Gary.
He's the one
who put Paul in touch with me.
All right,
now I'm officially mad.
Hm.
Hey, uh, give me
a diamond delights, please.
Thank you.
Damn it.
- Oh.
- Hey, Mike.
- Hey, Lester.
- Aye, you know where ray is?
Ray? No, sorry.
Because an hour ago,
Mike and I noticed
that the pictures
of my sister Janet
were taken down from the site
where he uploaded them
last week.
Since we know
that you help ray out
with all his Internet stuff,
thought maybe you saw him today?
- Maybe you helped him out?
- No.
I haven't seen him.
Sorry.
Lester: So, it's cool
if we just came by your place,
make sure he's not there?
Yeah, but he's not up there,
though.
Lester:
I'd like to see for myself.
Look, if you resist,
I might want to come anyway,
but, if he's there and you're
willing to peacefully cooperate,
then I got
a bill with your name on it.
20 bucks.
- 20 bucks?
- Lester: 20 bucks.
Sorry about that, ray.
I had no choice, all right?
Hey.
Lester, Lester.
Thank you.
Hey. Give me five
diamond delights.
God, how long could they
possibly stay in there?
You could go knock
on the door and ask.
I'd be running the risk
of hearing something
I don't want to hear
moaning or groaning
or whatever it is they do.
River: I heard them at Scott's.
When they went into his bedroom.
Sounded like dying.
Sounded like the two of them
were slowly dying
of some terrible disease
and like gasping for air.
Wasn't what I would call
a fun time.
Gross!
How long were they
in there that time?
Oh, I got sick of it and left
before they came out.
But it was at least an hour.
You should go.
If you're dying to leave.
Well, my backpack
is in her bedroom.
River: You could get it from her
tomorrow.
- No, don't.
- What's wrong?
Um, seriously, nothing.
I'm fine.
- You look like...
- No, uh, it's nothing.
Oh, hey.
Uh, we thought
that you guys left.
No. Uh, yeah,
we're totally here.
Oh. Um...
Yeah, my mom is gonna
be here soon, so...
We were thinking
about going to the park.
Do you guys want
to go to the park?
Oh, my god, I need water.
Phil: Are you seriously
feeling sick?
Claire:
Yeah, I get these stomach aches.
Maybe you have ulcers. Maybe
you need to see a doctor.
Claire: If I'm being honest,
this job makes
me really anxious.
I feel like I should work
at a library.
I worked at a library last year
and I just felt like
this responsible,
organized, you know,
community-based woman
in touch with the
English language.
You're doing fine.
Look, the next step
is obviously to get
a photo of the watch.
That would be a home run
for the story.
I think we might have a shot
at the front page here.
Hey, right here. Listen to this.
That's me on bass.
Sing along.
Let all that shit out.
Claire: That was okay.
I feel a little bit dizzy,
actually.
Um, is the name of that song
"suck on greed"?
Phil: Yeah. Exactly right.
I'm trying hard not
to come over there, Gary,
and knock your teeth out.
Gary, I got steam
coming out of me.
- If you weren't 62...
- 61.
Over 60. I could be
crossin' a moral line
if I put my fist through
your over 60-year-old face.
I can't read your mind, Benny.
I see that you're mad,
but, uh, I don't know why.
Next thing you know,
people are pointing at me
in the street, sayin',
"there he is.
There's the guy
who punches men over 60."
I don't like that picture.
Just tell me,
what's wrong with you?
You send me and you send
Noah to this guy.
- You send the both of us?
- Gary: He called.
He asked who'd be
interested in the record.
I said you; I said Noah.
He's a thief, Gary.
He sold me a fake.
Gary: Why are you mad at me?
I don't know that kid.
I said he comes in here
a couple of times.
Beyond that, hey.
Benny: You're always dealing
with these bums,
hustlers, and thieves.
Listen, you call
that son of a bitch,
you get him on the phone,
you find out where he is.
If I knock his teeth out,
then I'm gonna let yours
stay in your head.
Do it, or I'm gonna blow a fuse.
Jeez. Okay, look,
it says "Paul."
Shit.
'Ey.
Strike you a deal.
Come over here nice and easy
and I'm only gonna
break one of your legs.
Keep runnin',
and I'm gonna break 'em both.
Where's the deal where you
don't break either of my legs?
Never heard of it.
I'll be back later
to break your face, Gary!
I didn't know he was there!
Hi, this is Mrs. Krimsky.
I brought my husband's
wristwatch in there
a few days ago.
Jimmy: Uh, yes, of course.
Well, a reporter showed up
at my apartment today,
asking about the watch.
Did she come to your shop?
Uh, yes. Um, she did.
Told her I didn't want
to talk to her.
Mrs. Krimsky: Then why did she
ask about the watch?
Did she see it?
I don't know. I was, um...
It was on my desk.
But I don't know how she
would know it was yours.
Did two detectives also come by?
Jimmy: Uh, yeah, they were here,
uh, just before her.
What did they say?
Jimmy:
They knew about the watch,
said they wanted
to take it with them.
And I told them
I wouldn't feel right
about them taking it.
Mrs. Krimsky:
Well, why did you say that?
Well, you're my customer.
I would feel wrong,
just handing it over to them.
Although they said they may
come back with a warrant,
in which case I would
have to give it to them.
Mrs. Krimsky: Did you fix it?
No, I was just starting
to look at it
when they came in.
They told me not to fix it.
Mrs. Krimsky: Did they say
not to give it to me
if I came by to get it?
Uh, no.
I don't understand how somebody
who loves my sister
can do something
so disrespectful
and full of hate.
You know why I did it?
She slept with Sebastian.
I found out she slept with him.
- I just flipped out.
- You weren't together
- at the time.
- Ray: We had a little fight.
She was mad, she was drunk,
and you guys weren't together.
I lie in bed every night,
unable to sleep,
having visions
of this creep touchin' her.
I just went crazy.
Lester: Now, think
about 1,000 of those creeps
getting their rocks off
to naked pictures of my sister.
Is that what you wanted?
She didn't do it
to try to hurt you, ray.
She did it because you weren't
fulfilling her sexual needs
and you were gettin' distant.
Ray: I was depressed.
I get very depressed.
I'm not tryin' to make excuses.
I just wasn't myself.
I lost control.
Okay.
Mike.
Get the camera.
You're a lucky guy, ray.
You know, she wanted me
to bring you to her place
so she can talk to you.
"Don't hurt him," she said.
Go to the couch.
It can't be me,
just naked, without the props?
Lester: No.
I think we need the props.
Mike: Mm-hmm.
Lester: Mike, turn
that light on. The lamp.
Lester: All right,
now give me a sexy look.
I don't know how.
Yo, put the lollipop back
in your mouth, ray.
Lester: Now give me
a sexy look.
Lester: I said
with the lollipop in your mouth.
Give me a sexy look.
Mike: Come on.
Lester: That's...
That's... that's good.
Mike: Yeah, bud.
Oh, yeah.
God, you were totally
making out with him
- when I walked into the room.
- It's not true.
Come on, I could practically
smell the sex juices in the air.
I think I'm gonna go home.
No, I'm not teasing you.
Come on.
It's just I'm really
into this idea,
'cause think about it.
If you end up with him,
we'd be best friends
dating best friends.
And like no pressure
or anything.
It's just... I'm really
into this like union.
I really approve.
Great, but I don't
need your approval.
Come on, don't get
all dark right now.
Fine! You guys didn't make out
and... the dream is dead!
Just don't leave!
When I get "all dark",
your phrase, not mine,
it's fairly unstoppable,
as I've told you before.
So I'd rather do it in private
and not embarrass myself,
or you,
in front of your friends.
Fine.
She's going home.
She gets all depressed
out of the blue,
for no apparent reason.
Very typical.
I think I'm gonna
go talk to her.
I totally caught them
making out in the living room.
Sweet.
Hey.
Earlier, um, I didn't mean to...
I wasn't gonna
like cry or anything.
Okay.
So, yeah,
I was just feeling weird.
I didn't understand it.
Sometimes it's like...
I feel too much,
or sometimes
I don't feel enough,
and then I worry
that I'm not feeling
everything I should be,
and then the worry
gets so big that,
suddenly,
I am feeling everything.
It sounds confusing.
Um... it's that I want
to make sure I'm like
doing justice to the moment
by feeling
what I should be feeling,
and I guess having
that part of you opened
can cause you
to be totally insane.
But believe
that I'm not rejecting you
when I say I'm feeling certain
that the last thing I need
right now is a boyfriend.
That's fine.
We can just be friends.
If you wanna be.
That doesn't offend you?
River: No.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Claire: Ahem.
So, I know about
the husband's watch.
Jimmy: I know you know.
The wife called me.
What did she say?
Said she wasn't happy to see you
and to know you know
about the watch.
Okay, what can I say
to you right now
to convince you
to just let me take
one photo of the watch?
I've already expressed to you
my feelings
about getting involved.
I wish you'd listen to me.
Hey.
Okay, I'm gonna go ahead
and hide right now.
- No, no.
- I'm sorry.
No, please.
I wish you wouldn't do that.
- No, I'm so... deeply sorry.
- Please, no, no, no. No. Ah...
Claire: I'm so sorry.
- Hi.
I'm Mrs. Krimsky.
Yes, of course. Um...
I have your husband's watch.
Oh, thank you
for keeping it here.
I know you didn't have time
to fix it,
but I'd like to pay you,
regardless.
Oh, no, no.
That is not necessary.
As you know by now,
my husband is dead, so...
This watch means a lot to me.
Jimmy: Oh.
She, um...
Came in just before you did.
She wanted
to take a picture of the watch.
I told her no.
No, it's true.
He refused to show me the watch,
and then you came in
and then I hid, and
he told me not to hide,
but I, um... I did.
Can I smash this clock?!
Do you mind if I throw this
on the ground?
Jimmy: I guess. Um...
If it makes you feel better.
I apologize for overreacting
and smashing a clock,
but it's only half an apology
because you deserve it.
I lost the only person
in this world
who I loved and loved me.
It is impossible to express
how much I am suffering.
Let's hit the road.
Radio: Boston Red Sox: 7 runs,
15 hits, 1 error.
11 men left on base.
- For the Yankees, 4 runs...
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
Ah, it hurts.
It's supposed to hurt.
Gimme me your wallet.
Tsk.
Here's my $200,
plus you got $150 here.
Don't take that.
Please, I need that.
That's what you get
for being a rat.
Hey, I've stolen things
in my life, too.
I've hustled.
But I've only hustled people
if somehow they deserved it.
Me? I've got music in my heart.
I've got love for it.
I seek it out, I find records,
I collect them,
I sell them to people
who have that same love inside.
It's a tender spot.
It's vulnerable.
It's a spot
that you think nobody's gonna
take advantage of you.
Then you go around
and you let that love
be known, you share it.
You share it with people
and you trust
that they won't violate you.
I didn't know
it was so important.
Benny: That's basic moral code.
It should be in the fibers
of your body.
You tell me the story
about your dead grandfather,
you feed me
a delicious doughnut,
you tell me you like my shirt.
You build a mean trap
so I'd fall into it
like a dummy.
My grandfather really died.
Yeah, that makes it even worse,
using him to make some money?
Like I said, you're a rat.
I hope something happens
to you to make you grow up.
I'm filled with such disgust.
I love you.
As a person, I love you,
but I hate you for killing
everything that we had.
You made it so that we can't
ever be together again.
Do you know that?
I wasn't sure.
Janet: You killed it.
Okay.
If you need tissue, there's
some on the table there.
It's okay to cry
in front of me, ray.
I am cryin'.
It doesn't look like it.
Looks like you're
holding back your emotions,
like you usually do.
Now get the hell out of here
before the woman shows up.
They're going to arrest her.
We were right,
the watch is important.
So, first of all, Darryl said
the husband's hand
and arm were injured
from falling after
the bullet to the head.
They assume
he was wearing the watch.
The widow claims
she was at a movie at 8:00,
the estimated time of death.
So, leaving the movie,
she turns on her phone
to find a text from her husband.
Evidently, it says,
"I love you. Sorry."
She calls the cops, rushes home,
finds him dead.
Can you figure it out?
Why is the text important?
- I don't know.
- The text was sent at 8:10.
His watch broke at 8:02.
So, if it broke when
he fell, when he died,
he couldn't have sent
a text at 8:10, obviously.
She sent the text
after she shot him.
That's the idea.
So she figures out the mistake,
takes off the watch,
takes it to get it fixed,
thinking, "problem solved."
Oh, there she is.
All right.
What do you want?
Ma'am, we know
you have the watch.
Mrs. Krimsky: Stop it!
Ma'am, we're gonna need to talk.
Really, I have nothing
to do with this.
- Claire: Ow!
- You bitch!
Claire: Ow! No, no, no!
No, no, no, no!
- Mrs. Krimsky: You bitch!
- Claire: Ow!
- Ow!
- Bitch!
- Let's go to the car.
- Okay, okay.
Phil: You okay?
Yeah, um, it just
stings a little bit.
Hello.
Benny: Hey, ray.
Where you at?
I'm in Janet's bathroom.
Why are you in Janet's bathroom?
Long story.
But we're talkin'.
Benny: How's it going?
She's mad, as she should be.
Hey, we're gonna have a nice
little party at home.
We'll have some good friends,
we'll have some drinks,
we'll dance.
Come on home.
We'll get you to feelin' better.
Yeah, maybe.
Janet said I could sleep
on the couch tonight,
if I want to.
Benny: You know what's right.
I love you, ray.
Love you, too.
Ray, I'm in here.
- These photos are hilarious.
Oh, my god, they're so gross.
This is a good
first punishment for you.
You deserve a thousand
more punishments like this.
I know.
Who were you talking to
on the phone?
Benny.
Oh, Benny.
I like Benny so much.
He's my best friend.
Sit down for a minute.
I said it was okay to cry
in front of me.
I know. It's hard.
You're my friend, too.
Sorry I ain't treat you
like a friend.
You just keep crying, ray.
Ray: Okay.
First, I take you out.
We go out to dinner,
have some fun.
Then, we head to my house,
have a little party,
get a little crazy.
Invite your girls.
Yeah?
What are you doing right now?
Benny: I'm buying a new shirt.
Don't blow all your
money in one night, man.
Benny: When you need
a new shirt,
you need a new shirt.
You remember that
shirt I was wearin'
when I stopped by this morning?
Woman: No.
Well, I've been struggling
with it all day.
Not sure if it was right
for me, but...
I'm looking at it now
and it... it looks good.
So maybe you don't need
to buy a new shirt.
Benny: Sometimes you just need
to have Patience,
- let it break in.
It's not a bad shirt.
I'm outta here.
Phil: You still here?
Yeah, I'm just finishing up.
I sent you the story.
It's almost done.
Front page?
No, some guy stabbed
somebody by central park.
We might get page three.
Okay. Oh, this is Claire.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Can I go home now?
I thought you'd want to see
how the story came out.
And then maybe we could
get a drink, you know?
Decompress.
Yeah, still got
that stomachache, so...
Well, we could
grab a bite to eat.
I think I need some alone time.
I mean, yeah, the stomach thing,
but also, just got scratched
in the face by
an accused murderer.
I just wanna sit in my bathtub
and take a serious look at
what I'm doing with my life.
Ha!
You're really nice.
You did a great job today.
Think that I'm going to quit.
Phil: You shouldn't do that.
Give it time.
Yeah, no. It's bad for me.
Think, in my heart of hearts,
I'm a...
I'm a quiet librarian.
Why am I so bad at this?
- At what?
- Getting people to like me.
Maybe this is the wrong,
you know, atmosphere
for that sort of thing.
Other people do it.
They know how.
Claire: I don't know, maybe you
should be more yourself.
You know,
not try so hard to impress.
I mean, don't you want someone
to like you
for who you really are?
Phil: God, you're
the perfect woman for me.
Phil, stop it!
Phil, stop!
Okay.
I'm gonna go.
Thank you, today.
Do you know who's coming
to the party tonight?
Yeah, everybody.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
All right.
I'll bet everybody's
gonna look real good.
Yeah.
Do you know what
you're gonna get?
I don't know.
Yeah, me neither. Uh...
Hey.
What's up?
I gotta say something.
- Okay.
- Yeah?
Go for it.
Yeah, I'm trying, you know?
No, I... I don't know. I...
Yeah. I got love for you.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. Big love.
A whole lotta love.
I got it for you, too.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Okay.
- That's good news.
- Yeah.