Emperor Jain Wen has been usurped
throne by his uncle, Thu Di.
At last, he ran away to South East Asia
and no one know where he actually gone.
After hundred decades,
an accident happening in Pealing
Street has revealing a mystery ...
Hurry up!
Okay.
There are two more customers waiting.
Sure, no problem.
I'm coming!
Look at you. All sweaty.
Gray hair?
Never mind about it ...
Li Chun!
All right, I'm coming!
Eat your mi. Go ahead!
I'm coming!
Can't he come here to take it himself?
He's just across the
street. it's no big deal.
What would you like to eat?
Wow, I'm sure they could even hold
four pairs of chopsticks in between.
Can I take your order now?
Apart from yourself, do
you have anything delicious?
We only have Hokkien mi.
Hokkien mi?
Give us three plates.
Hey, you the cook, what is this?
It's a bug.
Listen! I found this in your mi.
Oh, really? Then the
bug must have done a lot
of good deeds until I
couldn't fry it to death.
Hey, how dare you get cocky with us!
I'm sorry. My husband
hasn't taken his medicine,
so he's talking nonsense.
I'll get you another plate.
Look at them. They're
not even from around here.
See? One is a shorty, one an
old fart, and one ugly as hell.
Don't even know where they come from.
Ask not where we're from and who we
are! The three knives are our trademark.
We are the Three Knives Gang!
We own Petaling Street!
So you're saying you're the
bosses of Petaling Street?
We're the biggest bosses
in Petaling Street!
Ah, congratulation! Let
us wish you great health!
Is it Chinese New Year already?
We could no longer do business
today. Let's pack up and leave!
Let's go!
Who's the biggest boss here?
VVho's in charge here?
He's the person in charge.
He's the biggest boss among us.
I'm nobody.
I go first.
Oh, so you like to play?
Come, let's have some fun too.
Du Yao!
Don't worry! Just relax! I'd be fine!
Wow, you two are incredible!
You took care of the Three
Knives Gang so easily.
I'm very impressed. Thank you so much!
Hey!
Protection fee?
But I already paid last week.
Protection fee is protection fee.
I'm asking for transportation fee.
Yes, I'm charging appearance
fee for showing up as well.
Also, they dance and do kungfu.
All these have to be learn,
and that take money too.
Oh, I almost forgot, I support my
parents, and that take money as well.
Here's our token of appreciation...
No! Don't give it to them!
Du Yao!
I'm your husband, and
I'm telling you that we're
not giving them a single
cent. Why should we?
Look. The businesses over that side
give him one dollar every month.
The businesses over this side
give him one dollar every month.
But our stall need to pay
each of them one dollar.
Do you think it's so easy
making money selling Hokkien mi?
The problem is, your stall is right
in the middle section of the street.
Yes!
Yes what? Our street is only this
small. Do you know there's only
one government in each country,
and one emperor for each government?
Moreover, it's useless paying you two.
You guys never show up
when we really need you.
I'm the best. Give it to me!
Look at you. You're fat
and slow in the head.
Nobody would even notice when you're dead!
That's true. You should lose some
weight. Not good for your image.
Du Yao!
Who would dare to hit me?
Him!
Of course it's me!
Don't push me too far!
He's going to punch you!
Then I'm going to kick him!
He's going to kick you!
Don't force me! I'd get serious!
Go ahead!
I'm waiting!
Fight!
Crush them!
How dare you laugh at me!
It's not me! it's not me!
It's not me! it's not me! it's not me!
Ouch, that hurts!
Are you all right?
I'm in pain!
Cut that out. You'll get hurt.
Okay.
Let's go home.
What the chicken... This is
my favorite moment every day!
Just like a fish in water, so relaxing...
Too bad the water smells terrible.
It's not as smelly as your feet.
I've put 108 kinds of herbs
inside. it's very nourishing!
Hey, be careful!
You think you're preparing bakuteh?
Great!
Then drink it like you'd drink bakuteh.
I don't want to! it's so smelly
yet I have to drink it every day.
It's almost as smelly
as my iron underpants!
I don't even know why I'm wearing this.
I don't see other people
wearing this, why should I?
I've told you. The tropical weather
is hot and there're bugs everywhere.
It not only prevents bug bites,
it's also good for ventilation.
The other men are stupid not to wear it.
But it's very troublesome!
Sometimes when I'm slow,
I even unload inside it.
It's your fault for coming home late!
Then why aren't you wearing one?
I'm wearing one!
Where is it?
Right here. You hear it?
I don't hear it.
It's right here.
My dear, actually we've been married
for two years and yet we've not done it.
How about... if we do it tonight?
No!
Why not?
Have you forgotten it again?
After checking your pulse,
my father said your kidneys
are of different sizes.
And the bigger kidney
is even smaller than what
people normally have.
If we do it, you'll die.
I don't want you to die.
If we do it, I die. If we
don't do it, I also die.
I rather die after we do it. Come on...
No.
Please?
No!
I don't want to!
When the Heavens assign great tasks to us,
it shall torment our
minds, and then our bodies...
makes us suffer in
hunger to make us weak...
If we give up now, how can
we face our forefathers?
Let's go!
You afraid?
Afraid? Of what?
Then why is it every time that
I ask you to go to the casino,
you're always reluctant?
Come on!
Hey, dear, since it's going to rain
and there aren't many customers,
why don't we close shop early and
you go home and take some rest?
Yes, after the rain, the
frogs would come out and sing.
We plan to go and catch them.
Come back before dinner.
Okay!
Let's go!
Froggie, froggie, here we come!
Big! Big! Big!
I told you we should buy small!
Jay Chow!
Yes? I want to borrow money.
VVho's your guarantor?
My buddy, Du Yao.
The big boss of the mi stall!
Oh, the one who cooks Hokkien mi?
Sure, problem! Take the money. Take it.
Not enough? Vhf ant more? No problem!
Still not enough? Take them all! The more
you borrow, the more you gamble. Take it!
When should I return it?
Don't worry, just take your time.
Relax! Just go gamble your heart out!
No more gambling! Let's go!
Wait! Look what we've got?
All right! I'll beat you this time!
Go! Go! Go!
What the chicken? Whatever
I gambled, I'd lose.
This Sure Win Casino
sure wins all our money.
Three cups of tea!
Don't be like that.
Let's come again tomorrow.
Tomorrow? I still don't
have money tomorrow!
Hey, you should know that you're a very
important person in Petaling Street.
Because of you, we could gamble all we
want and all they need is a signature.
This is what I would call a VIP treatment.
Am I so popular around here?
Of course! We've become VIPS because
of you. No, no, no. We've become VVIPS!
Wow, gold member cards?
But even with gold cards,
I still don't have money!
I'm only left with these. If
my wife doesn't have enough
money to buy groceries tomorrow,
I'll be dead. Here you go.
With the money, we now can have real fun!
The House of Kamasutra!
No! No! No! No!
Scared of your wife again?
You're afraid of her!
Says who? What's there to be afraid of?
If you're not, then let's go!
Revolution... Dr. Sun Yat Sen shall...
Who cares about revolution? Let's
visit the House of Kamasutra right away!
No! No!
Come on! Drag him along!
No! No!
Dear customers, what do you think?
What's that noise?
Nothing! Nothing!
So, how?
They're quite pretty, but I'm sure
there are prettier ones, right?
Okay!
What the world is that noise?
Just keep quiet!
Someone must be doing
renovation next door...
Now, dear bosses, what do
you think of them? Satisfied?
Better than the last ones, but I still
think you have better-looking girls.
Fine! Wait a moment!
The last two. There are no more.
Now you're talking.
Yong Kok, I love them. Very good!
Have fun! Go, go, go!
Your two friends have taken the last two.
There are no one left besides
me. So, what's on your mind?
Uh, actually there's nothing on my mind...
Nothing on your mind?
You must think I'm kind
of weird, don't you?
Sometimes I feel the same way.
Your friends are my regular customers,
and they're always happy with
my skill. Come, let's begin!
Wait, wait! Actually
I'm just looking around.
Just looking around?
Looking around? You think
it's free to look around?
I don't care! You must
accept my service today!
Hold your horses! You sound like a man!
So I'm a man because
I have a hoarse voice?
Don't tell me you're a woman?
So I'm a woman because
I have a hoarse voice?
Then what are you?
It's none of your business!
What the world are you?
Shemale! Shemale! Shemale!
Don't point your buttocks at others,
it's very rude. Where's Du Yao?
So tired! I'm so hungry that
I think I'm feeling sick.
Very smart huh?
Here you go. You know it's
bad for you to ask for bribery.
Okay, tell me. Where has Du Yao gone to?
He, Yong Kok and Rajoo went to
the casino, and lost all his money.
And then?
No idea! No idea!
Come.
Let go! You're being very naughty.
If you don't want to turn into a dish,
better you say it now.
Where else did Du Yao go?
All right. I'll prepare braised
parrot for the dinner tonight.
Please don't! He went to
the House of Kamasutra!
Kamasutra?
You went to the casino?
Yes...
And then the House of Kamasutra?
When you eat, you eat properly.
When you sleep, you sleep properly.
In the future if you want to have fun,
have dinner first at home and then go out.
Just don't stay out too late
or it'll be bad for your health.
You can't blame me.
We've been married for so long,
and yet we've never done it.
Until now I don't even know why. Why?
You should be angry today,and it's good to
be angry when you're supposed to be angry.
However, you must watch
out for your health.
Agitation will harm the liver.
Drink the carrot spareribs soup.
If we don't do it, the
neighbors would call me a virgin!
They will say Du Yao is a virgin! Du Yao...
Du Yao is a virgin!
The weather is hot. No wonder
you get agitated so easily.
Of course I got agitated! You're
so close with your cousin, Liu Kun,
that every neighbor says you're
having an affair with him.
Why you're so intimate
with him and not me? Why?
They could believe so,
but I don't expect you to.
I grew up with Liu Kun, and
he's just like my own brother.
You can't be jealous of this 7
My dear father, why had
you passed away so early?
Now I'm being bullied and
I've no one to talk to.
How come you never answer my questions?
Oh, it's time for you to go to the toilet.
Finish your dinner first, then the
toilet. After that, have an early sleep.
Oh, after you drink the soup,
you'll have a good sleep till
tomorrow morning. Your hair is messy.
Du Yao is a virgin!
Shhhh!
Hey, one more word from
you and I'll burn you alive!
Du Yao is a virgin! Du Yao is a virgin!
I dare you to say one more time!
Du Yao is a virgin! Du Yao is a virgin!
I'm warning you!
Du Yao is a virgin! Du Yao is a virgin!
Say one more time and I'll
turn you into a flaming bird!
Virgin!
I'm definitely going to burn you alive!
Old virgin! Old virgin!
Old virgin! Old virgin!
Pssssss ... Du Yao, wakey
wakey, time to pee... Psssssu..
What are you doing?
Jay Chow?
I'm here to collect my money.
Your money?
How could you be so forgetful?
Your buddy borrowed money from
me with you as his guarantor.
That useless Yong Kok!
But you've come so early. I have no money.
No money is fine. Am I
right? No money is very fine.
It's useless even if you use the knife.
I really have no money. Look at the room!
There's no money here!
Oh, I see...
Trouble! Big trouble!
Hey, that's my wife's pillow!
You can't take it! Hey!
The Heavens choose the
virtuous one as Emperor,
so that he could lead as
example to the whole world
By administering the country
with full attention and justice,
the dynasty shall be
prosperous forever and beyond!
This is the seal of Emperor
Jianwen of Ming Dynasty...
...a priceless emperor seal!
What are you talking about? What seal?
Emperor seal.
Emperor seal?
So if I have the seal, then I'm
an emperor, is it so? Is it so?
More or less, I guess.
This is marvelous! I've
struck it rich this time!
Let's go!
Hey, that belongs to my
wife. You can't take it!
Relax, I'm just keeping it on your behalf.
When you bring the money
tomorrow, I'll return it to you.
If you don't return my money,
then I'll be an emperor!
I've never expected a shorty like
me can also become an emperor.
Men! Let's return to the palace!
Hey, hey, you!
Dear, I've bought ondeh-ondeh...
What the chicken? What
are you doing in my room?
Where's my pillow?
Li Chun, forget about the old pillow.
I've bought a new one for you from
a designer's store. Look, YEEKIA!
Specially designed to support your neck
and spine, it's really comfortable and...
Let me ask you one more
time. Where's my pillow?
The casino boss has taken
it. But you can't blame me.
You've never told me
what's inside the pillow.
So the seal inside the pillow...
You never told me
there's a seal inside it.
Come on, it's just a
pillow. Don't be so angry...
Liu Kun!
Let's go!
Hey, Li Chun!
You! You're only back when the bad guys
are gone. You're worse than the dogs.
Watch out for burning candles...
Beware of thieves. .
Watch out for burning candles...
You guys go up. I'll follow them.
Where's the seal?
I'm done this time! All my money
has been robbed! I'm bankrupt!
Who did this?
I've no idea. They came wearing black
masks and went away wearing black masks.
What luck! I got robbed
just when my men go on leave.
Old Virgin
I'm warning you. Don't
take advantage of me,
or I'll scream! Still
not believing me? Aaaah!
Those who've stolen the emperor
seal aren't ordinary people.
If they truly know about the secret of the
seal, then Du Yao will be in grave danger.
I know what you're going to say.
But it's all Du Yao's fault
that the seal is stolen.
Again I know what you're about to say.
This won't happen if
Big Brother is around.
Ever since your elder brother has suffered
an injury during his kungfu learning,
he's nowhere to be found.
I know, I know...
So you're really here!
What the chicken? Don't you have your own
room? Why come to his? Go back with me!
No!
Go back!
No!
Go back!
No!
Go back!
No!
No? Then I go back myself.
Please. go back with me. I want
to pee, but I don't have the key!
Do you know what kind of trouble
you've caused? How old are you already?
Thirty years old, and you still haven't
done anything right in your life!
You know nothing and are scared of
everything. Are you a man or not?
You say I'm not a man right in front of
them? You think I wouldn't divorce you?
Divorce me if you like!
My wife says I'm not a man.
She's never utilized me.
How does she know I'm
not a man? Am I right?
Utilize you in what way?
It's none of your business! Don't drink
so much. You can't hold your liquor.
She also says that I've not done
a single right thing in my life.
Is that true?
You should stop drinking too.
There are many ways to be a real man.
It's not difficult to do the right thing.
Three of us could go to the
House of Kamasutra to be real men!
Kamasutra!
Where's your protection
fee for last month?
I've already paid your boss.
My boss?
Yes.
It's for my boss, what about me?
I've come here because I don't want to be
bullied by the Englishmen. And now this.
You're bullied by the foreigners.
We're by our very own people.
Bullied by our own people...
I want to be a real man!
I want to do the right
thing to prove to my wife
that she's wrong about me!
Let's fight the gangsters!
I want you two to call the neighbors
now for an emergency meeting!
Ever since Kapitan Yap Ah Loy had left us,
the people in Petaling Street have been
pushed around by the gangsters.Am I right?
Right!
The British Government does
nothing to help us, am I right?
Right!
Therefore, we can only rely
on ourselves for protection.
And for this, we must form a
Defend It Yourself (DIY) Gang.
As long as we DIY, we
could lead a peaceful life!
As long as we DIY, we
could have a happy family!
As long as we DIY, we
can beat the gangsters!
I've already thought it through.
One Petaling Street, One DIY
Gang! So, let's DIY together!
DIY!
DIY!
DIY!
DIY!
DIY!
How are we going to DIY?
Good question! We'll all learn kungfu!
Du Yao, I want to DIY with you!
Hold your horses!
Please DIY by yourself.
Three-in-One
Martial Arts School
This is the place.
It seems. . deserted.
Yeah, let's leave.
This is the legendary Iron Sand Palms!
Is he really so powerful?
You! Come here!
Just go!
Hit me here.
Hit him!
If you want to hit me, then aim properly.
I'm hitting your hand!
I'm hitting your neck!
I'm hitting your stomach!
I'm hitting between your legs!
If I've not shown mercy, you'd have
nothing left between your legs already.
Three of you. Attack me.
Don't move!
Hiya! You! Ha! You!
Feel like falling down?
Just place your hands on their
shoulders then you would be fine.
I'm hitting your chest!
I'm hitting your shoulder!
You two go over there!
This is what Three-in-One
Kungfu is all about.
Master!
To be the disciples of
Fok Yip Fei, firstly,
don't ask what. Secondly, don't ask why.
Thirdly, just do whatever I tell you.
Fourthly, for mutual understanding...
you guys have to pay your fees on time.
Sure, sure, sure!
Master Fok, I've been hitting
chestnuts the whole week. .
Master Fok, why I have to
give you a massage every day?
Look at the floor. I've mopped so
many times until its color has faded.
You'll strengthen your punches
by hitting the chestnuts.
Mopping the floor is good for your waist.
Massaging is a great way to learn the
location of our acupuncture points.
All these are the basic
training of Three-in-One Kungfu.
Then when can we learn the advanced stuff?
For ordinary people,
it'll take three years.
Three years?
But you guys are not ordinary people.
Ten years!
Ten years! Master Fok, ten
years is not good! In ten years,
my wife might even have married the
gangster's head and have babies with him.
Don't tell me you're fighting
the gangsters for a woman?
If you want to please
women, just buy them flowers!
There's no need to fight gangsters!
All right.
For you guys, I'm going
to make a sacrifice.
I, Fok Yip Fei, would be fighting
the gangsters on your behalf.
That's great, Master
Fok! What a great idea!
I charge 100 dollars. Non-negotiable.
So expensive?
Five-year installment
plan with zero interest.
Just think about the offer. No hurry.
There's no need to think. You're hired!
Master Fok, hurry up! We're late!
No hurry. I doubt these gangsters know
how to read time. Just let them wait !
Master Fok!
Captain, how do you do?
It's been a long time since we've met.
Good to see you.
I've something to show you.
Warrant!
Captain, I think there's
a misunderstanding. .
You two shrimps want to negotiate with us?
Our kungfu expert is on the way here!
We have a kungfu expert as our backup!
Kungfu expert? There's
only one left and that's me.
Hey, what about me?
Oh, there are only two kungfu
experts left. Me and him.
Look. He looks like me,
but he's actually not me.
Hmmm, you're right.
Then we can't be certain.
Oh, why don't we do this?
You stay with us for some days first,
and we'll make our decision
when we're more certain.
What?
Bring him along!
You can't do that! Captain, it's a
misunderstanding! Captain! Captain!
I've come here to meet you all on behalf
of the residents of Petaling Street.
We've already formed a
new gang called DIY Gang.
New gang? I think you
have gangrene in your head!
Do you guys have the
permit for secret societies?
What permit?
What the world is that?
Show him!
I didn't see what's on it.
If you could see what's on
it, then it'll be worthless.
Yeah!
Who gave them to you?
If you could see what's on
it, then it'll be worthless.
Made in London.
England!
Du Yao, no worries. Leave
it to me. You just stay here.
Yes!
I'm going to apply the permit now!
Well, I think it's rather late.
Why don't we just call it a
day so that everyone can go
home and get some beauty sleep?
Uh, it's better we continue tomorrow.
Wait! I'll have my beauty sleep, but
only after I beat the hell out of you!
I could simply ask my
man to do it. Finish him!
I'm hitting your hand! I'm hitting
your shoulder! I'm hitting your chest!
Wow, the training actually
worked! Hey you guys,
come fight me, but one at a time! Come on!
One at a time?
You want to fight till daybreak?
Everyone, charge!
Get him!
Hit his head!
Hit him hard!
Over there!
Time out!
Time out! What the chicken? How
could I be so exhausted already?
Beat him to death!
That woman is so pretty!
Miss, may I know your name?
Someone's behind me.
Vhf hat the chicken? How could
you try to beat a woman?
It's not me. it's him!
I didn't do it on
purpose. Please forgive me.
Listen. I don't want you guys to collect
protection fee in
Petaling Street ever again!
Yes, sir!
Go away!
Thank you!
Miss, does your chest still hurt?
It's not my chest that
hurts. it's my back.
Let's go and help Du Yao.
Go that way!
You're awake!
Your Majesty!
Come, let me help you.
Your Majesty, Xiaoju shouldn't have
startled you. It's entirely my fault!
Wait! Why do you keep
calling me Your Majesty?
Yeah, why do you keep calling him so?
What are you? Parrot?
One of my ancestors was a loyal cabinet
minister back in the Ming Dynasty.
When Emperor Jianwen was
overthrown by his uncle,
he went into exile and
could never be found.
Oh, that's bad.
My ancestor thus made a vow, wanting
his descendants to continue his
search for the bloodline of Emperor
Jianwen in order to protect them.
Two years ago, I came to Southeast
Asia to continue my search,
but I still couldn't find them.
Just as I was about to
give up, I saw this.
Look.
Northern Press: Seal of Emperor Jianwen
Resurfaced and Yet Robbed
Again in Petaling Street
it's you, Your Majesty. You're the
one whom I've been searching for.
Me? But this seal... it's actually...
Your Majesty, please let me stay by your
side. I'm willing to do anything for you.
Please get up! You're injured.
Actually... about you staying by my side...
Will you excuse us a minute?
Just let her stay! She
saved your life, remember?
Yes, she's so pretty. And she seems
to have gone cuckoo after the fight.
Who knows you two could get into
some real action later tonight?
Kamasutra!
You might even get quintuplets
with the right skill!
Enough! Go back to your rooms! Go, go, go!
Ouch!
What's the matter?
I think it's the wound.
Oh, let me get you some ointment.
Your Majesty!
Oh my, what are they
doing? Oh, no! Alert! Alert!
I'm hurt. Can you apply
the ointment for me?
Okay... oops!
Oh...
Ouch! It really hurts!
Then I'd be gentler.
Okay.
Go lower.
Lower? Uh, okay...
The stupid virgin is
definitely hooked! Stupid!
Even lower?
Lower.
Lower?
Okay...
Yoo-hoo, I'm still here!
What's that noise?
Your Majesty!
Now even his pants are
down! You two sex maniacs!
Why are you wearing these
disgusting underpants?
Uh, my wife made me wear this.
It's locked. How do you go to the toilet?
Oh, my wife unlocks it thrice a day.
It's very troublesome, just
like taking herbal medicine.
You Majesty. .
why don't you let me unlock it?
Then you don't have to
suffer from it any more.
Oh my goodness! My eyes! My eyes!
I can't stand it
any more! I can't stand it!
Your Majesty. .
Now you can do whatever you like.
My wife hasn't been back for two days.
I need to take a crap.
Shi Du Yao, I'm letting you off tonight,
but you could never escape from me.
Next time do a proper landing!
Mistress, we've got a situation at home!
There's a woman in the
room. She lied on the bed,
and Du Yao jumped in to join her,
and they started touching each other!
I don't even know if he's a virgin
now! So embarrassing! So embarrassing!
Who are you?
You belong to the same gang
that has stolen the seal?
I've no idea what you're talking about.
Then what have you
been searching just now?
Me? I've been looking for
underpants for His Majesty.
How could you make a grown-up
man wear such a thing?
Tsk tsk tsk... I really don't know
what kind of a wife you've been to him.
Yesterday when I helped him unlock it,
he has understood for the first
time the true meaning of manhood.
You bitch!
Uh, do you guys like some
breakfast? it's steaming hot now.
Shi Du Yao, did you... did you
lost your virginity to her?
So what?
How could you?
Why not? I've saved myself
for you for the past two
years but you didn't want
it. So I gave it to her!
You disgust me! I've
sacrificed so much for you.
My father even married me off to you.
New that you've lost your virginity,
how am I going to face my late father?
What has your marrying me
got to do with your father?
Oh, and the last time I checked,
you've no problem if I divorce you.
Your Majesty, my hand hurts!
Oh, you're hurt?
Poor thing.
Let her hand go!
Don't let go!
Let it go!
Don't!
She's come from nowhere.
How could you trust her?
What nowhere? She's here with
me. isn't that very clear now?
Shi Du Yao...
Your Majesty!
Huh?
It hurts!
Oh, let me help you
apply some ointment later.
Eat the breakfast first
while it's still hot.
Would you like some tea?
There goes all our effort.
If I've known it would happen,
I wouldn't have married him.
We've not... done it simply for his good.
At least he could protect
himself when I get old and weak.
Am I wrong for doing that? I
don't even know what to do now.
Dear cousin, I think Weisheng is
right. Why don't we just give up?
Why don't we leave everything behind us?
You tell me, am I right
or not? Right or not?
You should have talked more often, or
else everyone would think you're dumb.
There's nothing embarrassing
about having a short tongue.
Let me ask you this. Have you actually
fallen in love with Shi Du Yao?
Your Majesty!
Why are you so unhappy?
I'm not. Now that she's
gone, I couldn't be happier!
No? But it's written all over your
face. You clearly miss your wife.
No! I'm not!
Your Majesty, stop thinking about
her from now on, okay? Please?
Shi Du Yao!
Tonight everyone would throw a party to
celebrate your victory over the gangsters!
Yesterday you and Xiaoju beat
the hell out of the gangsters,
and everyone is so impressed!
So afterwards did you two...
Did you? Did you? Did you?
Hmm, what's this?
Oh, a saddle for the horse. Gee,
the horse must be real small.
Yucks, and it smells like durian!
Wow, I've been looking for this thing for
quite some time. Who brought it here? Who?
Don't mind about it. Let's go to the
party, and I'll cook you guys Hokkien mi.
Great! I'm hungry!
I'm starving! All right! Let's go!
I've rushed here after receiving
your letter from the pigeon.
I hope you won't let me down.
Sire, this is what I've
found in Shi Du Yao's house.
I'm sure you would be pleased to see this.
After years of searching in
Nanyang... finally I've found it!
Very soon I could return to the palace.
This so-called Shi Du Yao... who is he?
Sire, Shi Du Yao is a Hokkien mi hawker.
I suspect that he is a
descendant of Emperor Jianwen.
A Hokkien mi hawker?
Where is he now?
He should be having a celebration
party at the temple now.
You did well.
You've been our spy for so long,
and yet nobody has discovered
your identity. I'm very impressed.
Thank you, Sire, for your compliment. The
wind is usually mild in Southeast Asia,
and my hair seldom gets blown away.
Sire, the balls are so round and smooth,
and you could never stop
playing with them. I believe
...the two balls must
be very precious to you.
I hate people talking
about my precious balls!
Silence, please!
Everyone! Silence, please!
Let's welcome our hero
to give us his speech.
Dear neighbors, I would
like to thank you all.
Without your DIY effort, we would not
even have this wonderful dinner tonight.
Starting from now, we are
free of the gangsters' control,
and we now control our own destiny.
The good news is, the three of us shall
continue the DIY effort on your behalf
because we've already learnt kungfu!
Therefore, you guys have to pay us 5
dollar every month for our DIY service.
Huh?
Just kidding... just kidding...
Just pulling your legs...
just pulling your legs
You're really not leaving with us?
I'm not leaving. I enjoy my life here,
and all I want to do is to
develop my white coffee business.
Just do whatever you want to do.
When you're free, help
me to watch over Du Yao.
Don't worry. I'll watch over him.
Take care!
You too.
Take care!
Your Majesty, it's for you.
Oh, thank you.
Why are you looking so gloomy?
I'm just acting cool...
You look quite handsome
when acting cool...
I only act cool because
our neighbors love to see...
These people have unusual aura. Let's go!
They could be looking for Du Yao.
Then he must be in great danger-
Shhh...
Who among you is Shi Du Yao?
Eh, that's me. What can I do for you?
Hey, bro, are you here to celebrate
our victory over the gangsters?
You don't have to dress yourself up.
Look at us! We're all very casual here.
Does this thing belong to you?
Hey, it's my wife's! How come you have it?
Are you here to return it
to me? Give me, give me!
Where's the treasure map?
What map?
You're nuts! You think I would give
you a treasure map if I really have one?
If I have a treasure map, I won't
have to sell Hokkien mi, am I right?
Where's the treasure map?
Hoy, Mr. Weirdo, if you're here for the
celebration, I welcome you wholeheartedly.
But it seems that you're
looking for trouble, aren't you?
Huh! You've even brought along-
Who on earth hit me?
Why couldn't I see it?
You're done! Very done!
Now you're making me angry.
I'm nose-bleeding, and
it means you're dead!
Ask your friends behind
you to get you a coffin!
Dear neighbors, our party ends now.
For everyone's safety
and for my image as the hero
of Petaling Street, I,Shi Du Yao,...
...will try not to be so violent.
You all go back and rest early.
Go, go, go!
It's very painful! You could
be a bit gentler, you know?
Luckily I drove them away,
if not my hero image will be ruined!
If you have an issue,
we could always sit down
and talk nicely over buns
and soya drink, am I right?
Ouch!
Get him!
Oh, no!
Li Chun, how come you guys know kungfu?
Liu Kun, bring Du Yao
away! Weisheng, attack!
Hey, Li Chun!
What the chicken?
Glad to see our policemen
are always on standby.
There are many people fighting in
the temple and killing each other.
And there are even ninjas!
Almost scares me to death!
Come! Let's go and arrest them!
You see! I told you not
to offend the government.
Now they're here to arrest you!
What the chicken? I've not done
anything wrong, why arrest me?
If you want to arrest
someone, then arrest him!
We're not arresting you.
We're just protecting you from others.
We're not putting you under arrest.
We're putting you under our protection.
Don't worry. Your wife has been
held hostage by the Qing Government.
All they want is your map.
Relax! Your wife has been held hostage
by the henchmen of Qing Government.
All they want is your map!
Relax! Once you pass the map to me,
I will make sure your wife
will be rescued safely.
Hand over the map, and
we shall rescue your wife.
Once you two have come to a
decision, just let me know.
Enjoy your stay at the police station.
Once you've made up your mind,let us know.
Tata!
Cute!
Why does my wife know kungfu?
Why does Weisheng know kungfu?
And you must know kungfu
too! Tell me what you know!
Tell me! Tell me!
I'll kiss you if you don't tell me-
So be it! Your wife, Weisheng
and I have been secretly
protecting you to keep you alive.
Your seal cannot be stolen,
or else, you're no longer an emperor.
We're protecting you
to keep you alive. That's about it.
I know my tongue is short...
Actually you have my
sympathy. You talked so much,
and yet I couldn't understand
a single word you said.
Give me another chance!
Miss Kikuko!
Didn't I tell you guys not to
come if not for important matters?
Sorry, Miss Kikuko. Military
department is rushing us.
They want to know if you've
found the treasure map.
Ask them to be patient.
I've never failed before.
When I complete the mission,
Japan can conquer the
world with the treasure,
and we don't have to take orders
from the military department any more.
The future of Japan and the
Ninja Military Force is in your hand.
So I'm the descendant of
Emperor Jianwen. I'm an emperor!
No wonder Xiaoju keeps
calling me Your Majesty". .
Oh yeah, what about Xiaoju's background?
How should I know?
Then what is the treasure map all about?
All I know is, when Emperor
Jianwen came to Nanyang,
he brought with him a lot of treasures.
But nobody knows where
the treasures are now,
and even I don't know
where the treasure map is.
If you want to find the treasure,
you have to find the treasure map.
With the map, then you can find
the treasure. That's about it.
Don't blame your wife for making
you wear the iron underpants.
She only does it so that you could master
a kungfu called Skills of the Virgin.
Once you've mastered it, you
could then protect yourself.
It's better than relying on our protection
because we'll die any
moment, don't you agree?
So you have to work
hard to learn kungfu in
order to protect
yourself, don't you agree?
Tell me first if you agree
or not. Do you agree or not?
Yes, I agree.
Then has Li Chun ever loved me?
Don't ask me this type of
questions. Go ask her yourself.
Du Yao! Du Yao!
Hey, birdie, dear birdie...
Listen to me. Now you go to find
Rajoo and Yong Kok and tell them this...
Understand?
Understood!
Birdlish.
Be careful and fly high!
Police officer! Police officer!
Police officer, come quick!
Tell the Englishman that
I could give him the map,
but he must rescue my
wife. Tell him! Tell him!
What are you up to?
Up to no good.
The treasure is right beneath the tree.
It's here!
Aha, good! Well, what are
you waiting for? Dig it out!
Dig! Dig it out!
Yes, good. Dig deeper!
Dig deeper!
Ghost!
You two, stop! Chase them!
Zombie! Ghost! An Indian ghost!
He's Rajoo, and he's Yong Kok! We used
to disguise as ghosts to steal durians!
You're useless! You're so good
with kungfu, and yet afraid of ghosts!
My kungfu works on human beings, not
ghosts! They are totally different!
Stop!
Run! You two ghosts go and scare them!
Why? Why? Why did you
fools you let them escape?
We still can't find them until now.
How big is this bloody town?
Don't you realize how
important this is to me
-uh, to the queen, and country?
You bring shame to the
name of the Royal British
Colonial Voluntary
Constables of Petaling Street!
What should I do now?
Where on earth is the treasure map?
Hi, I saw your shop is still open,
and so I've come over to see if
you're still open for business.
No! No! Do you know what
time is it already? Go away!
Please forgive me. I'm
feeling very hungry,
and the shops around
here are already close. .
it's fine. Sorry to interrupt.
Hey!
Wait for a while.
If I don't cook today, probably I
wouldn't get another chance ever again.
Take a seat.
Okay.
Sorry for the trouble.
It's nothing. Just eat.
Hmm, it smells delicious!
Bumped into some trouble?
If you believe you can,
you'll succeed even in moving the
mountain or filling up the sea.
There's nothing you can't solve
if you put your mind to it.
What the chicken? it's
easier said than done!
What the chicken?
Their kungfu are all better than
mine, and nobody dare to help me.
And the thing that they want. .
I don't even know where it is.
How am I supposed to
rescue my wife with it?
That sissy English police officer
is even worse! For his own interest,
he cares nothing about
catching the real bad guys.
Instead he locked me up in the prison
in the name of protecting me.
It's not that I don't want to solve the
problem! I'm facing a dead end here!
True. Chinese immigrants
suffer from never-ending
hardship in order to
build their new homes,
and yet they are deemed as outsiders
and got pushed around by
the colonial government.
I can fully understand your pain.
But should we simply run away?
No, we shouldn't. We
should never run away.
When people threaten to destroy our homes,
ready to uproot us all together, we
have to move ahead no matter what.
Even if it's a dead end, a fatal end,
we still have to face it like a man.
Do not fear hardship or authority.
Remember, when the going gets
tough, the tough get going!
Your mi tastes very good.
Goodbye and hope we'll
meet again some other day.
Wait! You talk so deep.
What do you work as?
I used to be a doctor, and I
could be considered as one now.
A doctor with a different
mean to cure people, I guess.
He used to be a doctor,
and he is still a doctor?
Why doesn't he just tell me that he's
a doctor? His Mandarin truly sucks...
Hey, what's your name?
I'm Sun Yat Sen.
Sun What Sen? Oh...
No idea who he is.
You... you two are fine?
We're fine.
Come in! Come in!
The eunuchs have captured Li Chun...
Huh? That Englishman wants the map,
the eunuch wants the map,
but I don't even know where it is.
It's so frustrating!
Then do you remember if your Grandpa
had given you anything when you're young?
My Grandpa had given me my surname,
Shi, that's why I'm in deep trouble now.
Then do you remember if your Grandpa or
your Grandma had left anything to you?
Just this lousy shop! There's not
even a place to hide a treasure map.
All I have is a pile of chilies.
Oh, and the stove I
used to cook Hokkien mi.
Which of you could crack
the stove open? Go and do it!
Ouch! My head hurts suddenly...
I'm in pain, and I don't even know why...
Weisheng, you go!
Now I'm the emperor,
and this is an imperial order. Go!
Get out of my way!
What are you looking at? This is the
secret of my forefathers, not yours!
Stay there!
What's that?
I now know how to save my wife.
What are you doing?
Dear policemen, my master
would like to make a request.
Tomorrow afternoon my master will
exchange the treasure map for his wife.
Please be there to arrest the bad guys!
Sir, they will exchange the hostage
tomorrow with the treasure map.
They need our help to arrest the bad guy.
Ah, good, good! We must make
sure our best men are on the job!
Should we mobilize our men now?
No. No, no, no, no, no.
We let them kill each other first,
and then, we'll come in last.
Great idea!
Hey, what if the Englishman stands us up?
He wants the map, so he'll surely come.
Moreover, he likes you so much.
The eunuch is not just anybody.
If the Englishman fails to
show up, we're dead for sure.
No matter what, you guys have
to help me to rescue my wife,
or I'll make sure you
two suffer a worse fate.
Ooooh, how exciting! I've never
seen a kungfu fight before!
Why are you still here? Take Du Yao away!
Li Chun, leave the matter to me.
Enough! Where's the treasure map?
Don't you see I'm carrying the wok on
my back? The treasure map is carved on it.
It even has the name of my
forefather, Yunwen, on it.
This is the original one. There are
no pirated copies in Petaling Street!
That's great then.
Hand the map over.
Hand her over first.
No. First the wok, then her.
First her, then the wok!
Okay!
I give you the wok.
Why did you made the knot so tight?
Watch out for your heads!
Now you release my wife. When she's half
way here, then I give you half of the wok.
When she reaches our side,
then I throw you another half.
Still thinking?
All right, I'm going to chop the wok into
quarters, so we can deal by four stages.
Watch out for your heads!
All right!
Here she comes!
Release her!
We're winning!
Give me that!
Watch out for your heads!
My dear wife!
Hey, what the chicken!
There! Over there!
It's not here.
Now you see.
Where is it?
Right behind you.
You fool, the wok is gone.
I've swallowed it. Okay, time to run.
Stop staring at me. My name is Qiaozi.
My name is Liu Kun!
My name is Iron Eagle!
Your name. your name.
Your name... your name!
You're not an iron eagle!
You're just a fly !
My nickname is Iron Head!
Next time when you seduce someone's
husband, you better check who the wife is!
Ouch!
Meet your maker!
Du Yao! Are you all right?
You are...
Iron Head!
Liu Kun! Liu Kun!
Dear, you must be careful!
Do Yao!
As long as you're fine,
it's okay to bleed a little.
Ouch, it hurts!
No! I give you the wok!
Du Yao!
Du Yao! Du Yao!
Are you okay?
I know I've never done
anything right in my life...
except for.
marrying you.
What the chicken!
Du Yao!
Du Yao! Du Yao!
He's dead, and your mission has failed.
You must die!
I couldn't even protect the one I loved.
Death means nothing to me now.
Du Yao...
wait for me.
What the chicken! I feel great!
Hey, my dear! Did you truly
mean what you say just now?
A woman's words could
hardly be trusted. . However...
wow, it's real. When they are spoken with
tears, I know they come from the heart.
Du Yao!
You! I want to thank you for unclogging
two of my most important
acupuncture points.
But still, I need to
make sure your thing is-
Never mind, you don't even have it.
Anyway, I'll make sure you're done today!
Come do me then!
Ah!
You are...
Eldest Brother!
Although he has unclogged
his main acupuncture points,
without my supply of energy,
he is nothing more than a log!
Sis, I've nearly died trying
to master a powerful kungfu,
but luckily I came under the
tutelage of a highly skilled man and
continued my kungfu learning
reclusively on Mount Faber for 28 years.
I've not only mastered the supreme kungfu,
I've also turned from a handsome
hunk into a curvaceous lady.
Now, I'm going to impart
all my kungfu to Du Yao.
With my energy, Du Yao
could cause his enemies to
hallucinate about things that
nobody should be able to see!
Bloody hell!
Don't mention that woman's name.
If I didn't let her come out
first, would she be so famous today?
You're leaving?
I've donated all my energy to you.
Use it sparingly. Goodbye!
Curb your enthusiasm. Save the action...
for tonight.
Okay...
Let me deal with him first.
So handsome. .
But you still have to die!
The Fist of Spring Roll?
You can't be Ip-
Don't ask.
Then I'll beat you into a spring roll!
Wong Fei Hong?
Wrong!
VVong~Fei~Fong!
How do you feel?
Foshan Shadowless Kick!
Where's Wong Fei Fong?
You better stop.
I've beaten your face into a hamburger.
If we continue, your face
could turn into a roti planta.
Feel free to visit Petaling
Street in the future, but...
please don't buy any pirated products.
You may go now.
We still have another fellow to tackle.
Which fellow?
Your secret admirer from England.
Yucks!
How brilliant! You're brilliant!
I've never seen a kungfu fight
like that before! Simply marvelous!
But it's no match against
our guns of course!
Yes, sir!
Oh, you're being very punctual,
aren't you? Our fight is already over!
So, please, pass me the map.
Pass the map to us.
I said, hand over the map, please.
Hand over the map now!
We can't give him the map.
This is my final warning.
This is the final warning!
Men, take aim!
Give me the map!
Give me the map!
Du Yao, we can't give
it to the Englishman!
Dear, trust me.
Give me the other half.
Ha, finally! It's a pleasure
doing business with you.
Release those fools.
Men, at ease!
London Bridge is. .
...falling down, falling
down, falling down...
London Bridge is. .
...falling down, my fair lady...
Turn! Forward march!
Have a seat.
As your emperor, I'm
asking you all to be seated.
Sit down.
Actually I've no interest
in becoming an emperor.
All I want is my life
as a Hokkien mi hawker.
When my ancestor came south,
he just wanted to start over.
Therefore, I solemnly announce that...
I'm no longer an emperor,
starting from now.
You don't have to protect
me again. You are all free.
But what about the map?
I honestly don't know where it is.
I simply carved a fake map on a
wok just to trick the Englishman.
Oh, yeah, while trying to find the
treasure map, I found this letter.
My ancestors had long dug
out the treasures. In short...
my family had long gone bankrupt.
The treasure map is
only an excuse that your
ancestors used to trick
you guys to protect me.
So I'm nothing more than an
ordinary Hokkien mi hawker.
Li Chun, are you still
willing to be with me?
I'll be with you and have your children.
Together, we'll serve Hokkien
mi for many, many years to come.
Now I could finally develop my
white coffee business in peace...
You're really funny. I've told you,
who want to drink white
coffee in this hot weather?
I'm developing my white coffee
business. What has it got to do with you?
I've told you! If you're not
selling Iuo han kuo, then I would!
I'd sell it diagonally opposite their
Hokkien mi stall! In this hot weather,
people would line up to buy
from me. I'll make lots of money!
When I was young, I used to
love watching cartoons the most
And then I'd pretend I
know kungfu afterwards
Dreaming that I'd grow
up becoming a big hero
This is every boy's dream,
his way to feel inevitable
There're Spiderman,
Batman and Superman in the West
There're Bruce Lee, Yue Fei, Guan
Gong, and Monkey King in the East
Heroes only show up during chaotic times
He's either very powerful, lovelorn,
or having an unfinished business
Heroes are always different (also)
Heroes must know how to drink (also)
If we do it, you'll lose your
kungfu. Won't you regret it?
If I can't have a go at it for the sake
of kungfu, how could I call myself a man?
Du Yao is finally losing its
virginity! How embarrassing!
Carry on! Carry on!
Du Yao is finally a man now!