Most little girls
dream of a huge, lavish wedding.
The perfect groom: a movie star.
Or a prince at least.
Every eye on you.
The perfect dress.
The perfect flowers.
The perfect day.
You may now kiss.
And the moment you say your vows,
which transforms you from lovers
to husband and wife.
It has to be perfect.
Ola, what are you doing?!
We're making a baby!
I guess every little girl
wants different things.
PLANET SINGLE 3
WILK IN LOVE? FRIENDS CONFIRM!
A&T'S CHRISTMAS SHOW
WITH RECORD VIEWERS
TERROR IN THE SKIES!
WILK ACQUITTED!
I DID IT FOR LOVE
WHEN WILL HE PROPOSE?
A NEW CHAPTER?
A WEDDING PERCHANCE?
THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED!
Mom, I'm nervous.
I really am.
What do I do? Help!
Calm down. The wedding will be beautiful,
Marcel will see to that.
And Tomek's family will surely love you.
But we're already an hour late!
You always told me it's better to be
an hour early than one minute late!
Tomek hasn't been home
since the pope was Polish.
They'll be happy
if you show up this decade.
How's our little buttercup?
Everything will be perfect. You'll see.
Everything will be perfect...
for just 49.99.
You can trust Wilk!
Cut!
That's a wrap!
Great as always.
Brando's got nothing on you.
Patti, let's go!
- This is for you. Congratulations!
- What's this?
A little something
from me and the crew. Mostly me.
So you won't forget us
when you're neck deep in wedded bliss.
Look up, will you?
I didn't receive an invitation.
Any chance I could get a plus one?
We want to keep it private.
Just close friends and family.
Of course. Thanks again.
I was just kidding!
We like joking around, you know.
- Congratulations!
- Thank you.
Tomek's here, I've gotta run.
See you in Klomino!
How are you? Excited?
- Terrified.
- Well?
- Shall we go get hitched?
- I'm driving.
Here we go.
Marcel, come on.
It's just a suit!
What's up?
Maybe it was a bad idea
asking Marcel to plan the wedding.
- He's been so stressed out!
- Please.
He's been dreaming of
this day his entire life!
Trust me, he's got
everything under control.
This is a nightmare.
A complete disaster. This is...
the wrong color!
What I ordered was Orinoco,
a sophisticated shade of blue!
Marcello, dear!
Arturo...
You look fabulous.
Thanks. Tiberius finally
made me lay down my flat iron.
What's the problem?
Is this Tomek's suit?
Beautiful, isn't it?
A work of art!
Straight from Japan.
Did you touch the lining?
Marvelous. But the color is wrong.
Impossible! I picked it myself.
But... yellow?
Yellow?
This is Dijon Mustard.
That's what's in vogue this season.
And in short supply!
Milan tailors are falling
over themselves to get it.
To get mustard?
You're kidding, right?
You can't possibly have Tomek
get married in last-year color.
Dish towel, stat!
Why feed him if he obviously hates it?
Quiet!
- Hello, Marcel.
- Ola, honey!
Remember our old-school
jeweler closes at 3:00 pm.
Did you pick up the rings?
I'm looking at them right now,
they're gorgeous. Gotta go!
Bogdan!
How many toys does he need?
As a baby, all I had to play with
was a dustpan and a rusty nail!
And look how you turned out!
It's a country wedding,
not Milan Fashion Week!
Leave me be. It's my first chance
to dress up since I got pregnant!
You guys forget something?
The baby!
You know... it's not too late.
To forget it all and elope to Bermuda.
It's basically the same.
Private, rural, we could even
find a couple goats to be our witnesses.
You're not hiding
your family from me any longer.
I can't wait to meet them!
Well, that makes one of us.
If it makes you happier,
I have a surprise for you.
Really?
Is it a blowjob?
No.
Can I trade it in for a blowjob?
I'm serious!
So am I.
You'll love it.
I'd really love a blowjob.
GOATSTOWN CELEBRATING 450 YEARS
We're here.
It's beautiful!
- Picture-perfect!
- Home, sweet home.
And the bags?
Later.
- Hello, Mom.
- Tomek!
So good to have you back home!
Let me look at you.
Good afternoon.
I'm so glad to finally meet you!
Ania?
Get over here!
Look at you, so skinny!
Don't you feed her?
Beats me how she does it.
She eats like a bear before winter.
A little something
from our home to yours.
Charlie! Come to daddy!
Charlie died long ago.
This is Ceasar.
Interesting gift!
What's it for?
Uh, it's a dog toy. Ceasar!
Fetch!
See? A dog toy.
City dogs go crazy about it.
They love it.
Yes, I can see he likes it.
Ah, your gift! I'll be right back.
Tomek!
Ania, meet my youngest brother.
- Hello!
- Hello!
- You're even prettier in person.
- That's sweet!
Here's my other brother.
- Look, Ma!
- Hi, Leszek.
Old man Majewski just let this
Ursus go for 1500 zloty!
He even threw in a crate of booze. Idiot!
Don't say that.
Well, well.
The prodigal son returns.
Designer clothes!
I took you for some real estate
city slickers come to buy our land.
And you must be Ania?
Pleasure to meet you.
- Hello.
- I wish I could say...
I've heard all about you,
but I haven't spoken to this asshole,
for what, four years now?
- That's enough. Look...
- I'm going in to wash up.
Welcome home, I guess.
Don't mind him.
He's very happy to see you.
Yeah, he looks it.
The honeymoon suite!
Isn't it great?
And where is MIKOLAJ going to sleep?
Who knows where these pillows were?
In the other room with Zoska.
There's no wi-fi, and
I have to share with Hell Baby?!
Come on, it's not all bad.
There's lots of fun things here.
- Have a look.
- At what?
Woods. Fresh country air. Nature.
You can walk around. Pick flowers.
Jesus. Mom!
I wanna go home!
City folk.
How lucky for Tomek to have
grown up on such a nice farm!
Well, he never was much for farm work.
More of a wanderer, like his father.
Tomek talks little about him.
They've had their
differences over the years.
But what family doesn't?
And this one here is Diana. Our princess!
So picky for grass or clover...
And this is Mr. Fluffy.
Oh my!
Say hello!
Hello!
Oh God, he's so soft!
Yeah, he just loves attention.
So cute!
Say goodbye, sweetie.
- Bye!
- Bye!
...and the whole damn village
must have been there.
They're just crushing us.
But at the last minute,
guess who picks up the ball
and lands a perfect hit
above the Mazowianka goalie?
Tomek.
Schlomek!
Tomek never scored in his life.
As useless as tits on a boar!
So you were better
at sports. But just a bit.
I was better at everything.
I could have gone to Warsaw, too.
Told jokes for a living.
Any idiot can tell jokes.
But can you change a carburetor?
Leszek!
- Not this again!
- Mom, come on.
I'm just saying!
So, how's that guitar doing?
Was that the kind you wanted?
It's great.
Thanks.
Perfect timing.
Coming!
As for me, I just love your show.
Really! I'm a huge fan.
Yes! And Pavel is a huge fan, too.
- Aren't you?
- Yup.
The guests.
Mom!
Hi, honey!
- Hi.
- Hello!
Hello, sorry we're late.
We had to make some stops along the way.
Welcome to our home!
I'm Jadwiga, Tomek's mother.
And you must be Ania's brother?
Actually, I'm Krystyna's lov...
- I mean, her boyfr...
- We're together.
So she's married to her own son?
Well, I guess they do things
differently in the city.
Come in, please.
So he's asleep, and all it took
was 150 nursery rhymes.
Honey, you've been so wound up lately.
I think you should just...
relax a little bit. Put your feet up.
Champagne?
Here you are.
Away from all the stress of city life...
by a delightfully roaring fireplace...
Where's Zoska?
Outside, catching fireflies.
Like when she was little.
Trying to catch something, yes.
Her cell phone service.
Don't worry about her.
We're alone.
The baby's asleep.
Maybe the fire isn't the only thing
we could kindle tonight?
I've got an awful headache.
You've had it for two months!
MIKOLAJ isn't the only man
with needs in this house!
Oh my!
What a time capsule.
I keep telling Mom to turn it into a gym.
Your mom is awful sweet.
Do you mean sweet or awful?
Didn't you say
you only liked Iron Maiden?
You mean this isn't Iron Maiden?
What a rip-off!
My dear son,
I hope you received
the good luck charm I sent you.
I've been teaching the Glingurt tribe
to only drink fresh water.
I should be home this summer,
in plenty of time for your birthday.
Love and hugs, Dad.
The Gilingut tribe.
He didn't make it back in time.
For your birthday?
Or Christmas, or the rest of the 1980s.
At least he was helping people.
Too bad it wasn't his own family.
I'm sure he didn't mean to disappoint you.
I remember Leszek waking me up one night.
He said, I think Dad's dead.
We need to take care of Mom.
I was so scared!
Of Dad never coming back...
and then, of having to stay here forever.
But he did come back.
Yes, a few months later, all happy.
With stories of all the amazing things
he'd done in a country I'd never heard of.
It drove me nuts.
Six months later he was gone again.
And that's just how it went.
Did you ever tell him
how you felt about it?
He doesn't give a shit.
Heavenly Bodies?
It's not mine!
- Right.
- Must be Wiesiek's.
Poor desperate kid.
I'll talk to him tomorrow.
July 1992?
He must be a collector.
Got it on eBay perhaps?
I don't know!
Ooh boy.
This does take me back...
Come here.
The catering's this Saturday!
I don't give a damn...
Sorry.
...about your mother's choir recital!
I have to piss.
Couldn't you go before we left?
I didn't have to go then!
Just hold it.
There must be a toilet inside.
Isn't it sacrilegious to piss
in the house of the Lord?
Just hold it!
Here they are.
Finally.
- Hello!
- God bless.
- Father Krzysiek.
- Hello.
Sorry we're late.
The Lord has infinite patience,
Father Domanski does not. Follow me.
There's one confessional inside
and another one by the vestry.
Is there a third one?
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
Bless you, my child.
It has been one month
since my last confession.
Bless you, Father.
God bless you, my son.
Since my last confession it has been...
two...
no, three...
decades exactly.
And what sins would you like to confess?
How long have I got?
I was rude to a clerk at the store.
And I had impure thoughts...
about buying a pair of expensive shoes!
I was going to ask you:
does it count if it's in the other...
uh, in the butt?
I drove over the speed limit...
but only ten miles over.
Is that a sin?
So then Jacek storms in,
his dick in his hand
and a firecracker in his ass.
I start laughing so hard
I drop the cocaine all over the floor.
And Jacek turns to me and says,
Tomek, I think the dog is dead.
Well, I guess you had to be there.
Where were we?
In the year 2007.
Right.
So after that things started to get crazy.
Do you mind?
- Shall I take your picture?
- I'm taking selfies.
You're taking... selfies?
Like, pictures of myself.
It's what people do... in the city.
I know.
It's not the North Pole.
Could have fooled me.
Here for the wedding?
Bridesmaid's daughter.
Then we're practically family.
- I'm Wiesiek.
- Could this wi-fi be any slower?
It's like using a dial-up modem!
Does it always take this long?
It depends.
But, generally, no.
Never.
I'm trying to hide the rash as
I hold her by the hair and continue fu...
I mean, having intercourse,
when the door flies open,
and guess who's standing there?
Her mother!
She looks at me, at her daughter,
at me again, and says,
Now it's my turn.
I couldn't believe it!
Of course, I felt terrible about it.
But the second time
I was way more relaxed.
Bangkok gets bad press, but aside from the
Adam's apple, there isn't much difference.
Ever been there, Father?
Lucky for us, there was enough
space in the trunk to fit the body.
How could I know I'd break
all his teeth? Or that he was a priest!
No light in here?
Shit!
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
One moment.
Is everything okay?
Yes, my child. Go on, please.
Since my last confession it's been...
some time.
And...
- I've been...
- Unfaithful to your husband?
I've been dead tired.
I'm all fed up, I have no time to sleep.
And my husband is clueless.
I can't remember the last time
I had ten minutes of quiet for myself.
But have you ever been unfaithful?
I'm just a terrible mother.
My son cries when he's with me.
But if his dad as much as
looks at him, he stops crying.
He sounds like an excellent father.
He says that...
parenting books are for idiots.
Well, they are.
Excuse me?
I'm sorry.
My child, I mean to say...
the Bible is the only book you need.
Father...
the truth is...
I miss my old life something fierce.
Sometimes I just want to
get in my car and drive forever.
I so wanted to be a mother!
But no matter what I try to do,
it's never good enough now.
I couldn't even breastfeed.
And it's supposed to come so naturally!
I'm so sorry.
What's my penance?
Right.
Ten Hail Marys...
and read, with some
consideration, Psalm number...
I will. Thank you.
One more thing.
My child...
I recommend more intimacy
with your husband.
God bless.
Leszek has offered to
take the boys down to the pub
so us hens can spend some time together.
Really?
Sure.
Any reason to hang out
with my long-lost brother!
Well, go on.
No, I'll take the baby
and head back. You stay and have fun.
You're serious?
Absolutely.
Maybe I should stay.
Go on, have fun.
Come. Let the ladies play.
- Are you sure?
- They don't need a chaperone.
It's on me! Let's go.
Marcel!
Let's party!
Angela! Let's get it ready.
The moonshine.
What?
Want your toy?
Wanna go out to a pub?
Yeah?
Wanna go out, have some fun?
Yes!
That's my boy!
Shouldn't you be off
partying with the guys?
Shouldn't you be off
finding a cell phone signal?
I was.
What's that?
A guitar.
No, that thing.
Try yourself.
Is this lemon?
Quince.
We grow it here.
Not bad.
So do you, like, have a girlfriend?
No.
Why?
Just wondering
what you do around here besides
tractor jobs or drinking quince liqueur.
You have a beautiful family.
Thank you.
And Tomek's really one of a kind.
He must have been a handful as a kid.
He'd always cook something up,
knew how to make me laugh.
He was a free spirit like his father.
But not a troublemaker.
Is his father coming for the wedding?
His father may have no idea.
He's at the ends of the earth.
There's no way to reach him.
Nowadays?
In the age of the internet?
We're old fashioned folk.
It must have been hard.
Raising three lads...
all by yourself.
Ania was almost grown-up
when I lost my husband.
Mine isn't lost.
I know he'll come back.
When my husband died...
I held on to his memory for a long time.
I thought I was proving my love to him.
It was only recently that
I broke free from that thinking.
I realized I had been...
hiding from the world.
I don't need to break free.
I see you don't understand.
This is his home.
Well, yes.
I'm sorry, I just thought...
we've had a similar experience.
I think not.
So keep your pity.
What are you two doing in here?
Chores can wait!
Come on, let's go!
Where's the party at?!
What's this, gentlemen?
Tomek's last days of freedom and you look
like you just shagged your mothers!
Cheers, Radek!
We should be laughing!
Drinking! Celebrating!
Bartender! Next round on me!
Just what we need.
Come on, Tomek.
Show us what you've got!
Leave me be!
Go on!
I'll show you.
This is how you do it.
Mom...
I'm so proud of you.
You've really opened your eyes to life.
More than just your eyes,
with a stud like Radek!
Can you teach us any new tricks?
Stop it, you're talking to my mom!
I'm really happy.
I know I was terrible.
But now that I see how happy you are...
Maybe you could do
with some of that eye-opening.
This was unexpected.
No city product can match it.
For once I have to agree.
Maybe it's not so bad out here.
It's beautiful.
But don't you feel, like,
disconnected from everything?
From what?
From the world. From what's online.
Like videos of cats?
Maybe you're the one disconnected?
What do you know? You're just a kid.
I'm seventeen.
You?
Nineteen.
So, in country years,
it's like thirty.
So, do you have a boyfriend?
- Back home?
- Look!
A shooting star.
Make a wish.
I wish...
I could get internet here.
Big dreams, huh?
Said a guy from Klomino.
I've got dreams, too.
I'm gonna be a rock star.
When the morning
Lights are dawning...
You're sure it's this way?
Of course I'm sure.
It's Majewski's field.
We used to go cow tipping out here.
What's cow tipping?
- You don't know?
- Bullshit.
No bullshit. True story.
You run up to a sleeping cow...
and bang! There's one over there.
What? Too chickenshit?
Quit being a jerk.
You're the only jerk here.
What's your problem?
- Guys.
- My problem?
You've been treating me like shit.
What did I ever do to you?
You left!
You were supposed to be
the man of the house.
Instead you up and vanished
like a fart in the wind!
You weren't the only one with dreams!
- I could have been Lewandowski!
- You could have left, too!
I'd never do that to Mom,
after you abandoned us.
I did what I could. I sent money!
Which is more than Dad ever did!
- Leave him out of it.
- Oh, sure.
Crucify me but put him on a pedestal.
It really works!
Did you see that?
No, wait, it's...
Jesus. Radek!
Oh God.
Call 911.
Is he breathing?
He needs mouth-to-mouth.
Why me?
You do it!
City folk! Don't know a horse from a cow!
Come on, get up.
Take it easy. Just breathe.
It'll be okay.
Nothing will be okay.
A bruised rib. You'll be fine.
Krystyna's dying!
Come on, she's not that old.
She's sick.
What are you talking about?
Does Ania know?
She mustn't know.
KRYSTYNA would kill me.
Ania needs to know...
She will, in due time.
After the wedding.
I don't know what I'd do without her.
Ursus C-330!
It's the king of tractors. A legend!
Don't tell anyone it was Majewski's.
Good morning.
Did you have fun last night?
Yes, it was great. You?
Death by moonshine.
And how are you?
Me?
Fine!
Here he is.
Our flying weight champ.
You should eat something.
- I'll make a plate.
- No, I can do it.
He's here!
Hi, Dad!
Little Wiesiek! You've grown!
- Max!
- My dear!
I missed you so much!
It's good to be home.
Leszek!
- Dad!
- Indeed!
That's what I call
the real man of the house!
See?
Who's that?
My father.
No, the other one.
Everyone, this is my Sherpa.
We met a year ago
in the mountains of Nepal.
His name is Nowang
Gamba Dawang Pasa Nama.
But I just call him Jan.
Ania? Am I right?
Max, I'm happy to
finally meet you in person!
How beautiful you are! Congratulations.
It's high time someone made
an honest man of my son!
Hello, son!
He's obviously overcome with emotion.
I'll be right back.
Well?
Let the festivities begin!
Call the neighbors!
This was your surprise?
How did you find him?
He found me.
He sent me a message on Planet Single.
He's got an account?
What was I to do? He's your father!
He hasn't been a father to me
since I was nine years old!
- He wanted to make up for lost time.
- You don't know him like I do.
But I'd like to know him!
I'd give anything to have
one more day with my dad.
I thought you'd be happy.
Look, I don't...
Please, just give him a chance.
Do it for yourself.
The means of communication
for many of these tribes...
is dance.
One Sun Dance, in particular,
consists of three routines
which make energy
emanate through fingertips.
Like this.
It tickles!
Jadwiga...
Mr. Majewski!
Do I get the flower?
Go to your mommy.
I've got some pickled meat.
For us?
It's so generous of you!
Where would you like it?
Please take it inside.
I'll prep the roast.
Oh, no! Allow me.
Who's that guy?
Our neighbor, Majewski.
An odd one.
He keeps giving us crazy deals.
Bringing us food.
What?
Leszek says he's a little slow.
But I don't know.
I think he's just lonely.
What is this?
Pierogi...
and pickled cucumber.
Enjoy!
Thanks.
So, listen...
I was thinking that,
since you don't have a boyfriend...
and I don't have a girlfriend...
maybe we could go to the wedding...
together?
For a moment there
I thought you were serious.
- I was.
- Oh yeah?
But we're from two different worlds!
What do you mean?
You live on a farm and repair tractors.
You don't even have Instagram followers.
Let's just be friends.
Why are you so mad at me?
You lied! You said you'd take him
to the hotel, not the pub.
Okay. Give him here.
Don't cry.
Come to Daddy.
Oh yeah.
Now run along, play with your friends.
He stopped crying.
So what? We were to raise him as partners.
Which means being responsible
and keeping your promises.
Is that too much to ask?
A good man.
Doesn't speak a word of Polish.
I saved his life a few years ago in Nepal.
He's been by my side ever since.
I guess he feels he owes me a debt.
You came all the way just for the wedding?
I must prepare you
for your new life. Witness the...
Please, Dad. Hold the bullshit.
You haven't changed one bit.
Me?
Go on. Get it off your chest.
Very well.
You've never spent ten minutes
of quality time with me.
And now you turn up
acting like father of the year.
Other dads took their kids
fishing or camping. You?
Went off to Madagascar. For six years!
My son,
life is about choosing
what really matters.
I've spent 30 years helping kids
much less fortunate than you.
And look at us now.
We both bring happiness to people.
We both bring light.
Tomorrow's your wedding day.
Let's enjoy the time
that we have together.
What are you two talking about?
We're just making up
for lost time. Right, son?
Yeah, right.
Everyone!
I'd like to make a toast.
There is an old Nepalese proverb,
When children find true love,
their parents find true joy.
You've made me proud.
Cheers!
Cheers!
Thank you.
For what?
For trying to make it work with Max.
Surprisingly...
it went better than I thought.
Is that...?
Jadwiga?
- That is Jadwiga!
- Please.
That's your mother!
That is your mother!
Are you sure you're related?
What's up?
You wanted quality time?
Come on.
Remember when you were eleven?
That trout nearly took your arm off?
You left when I was nine.
Oh, I guess that wasn't you.
Let's not squabble over numbers.
Fatherhood is not about the details.
It's about the big picture.
It's the same thing with marriage.
Dad, please.
What do you know about marriage?
It's one of the best things in life.
Every wedding I've had...
I've enjoyed immensely.
Every wedding?
The festive mood...
the camaraderie, the new beginning...
How many weddings have you had?
Who would count?
Around four.
Maybe five... No, wait. Six.
- Including Ghana.
- Six weddings?
But I was totally drunk at the time
and ended up marrying
the poor girl's grandmother.
How hungry she was for love!
Ninety years old,
blind as a bat,
but the sex was incredible!
The locals called her Pennak Ular.
The snake charmer.
Did Mom send her blessings?
Your mother is a wise woman.
She understands the true heart of a man.
That's why I come back to her, to you.
Jan, I've got one! Quick, help!
The landing net!
Tomek, what are you doing?
The car is back that way!
They're beautiful, Mom.
Thank you.
My little girl...
Your father and I imagined
this day countless times...
The day of your wedding.
I promised him he'd be here.
Mom...
Thank you.
It's so cool!
I'm sorry, the ceremony is only
for close friends and family.
But we were invited here by Max!
Only the printed invitations are valid.
Please step aside and wait.
Is everything okay?
- No. The band's AWOL.
- They're not returning my calls.
- Why is everyone here?
- Tomek's dad invited them all.
Hey, Marcella! Remember me?
Rafal! Long time no see!
Marek, remember the fun we had with him?
Ah, the good times.
No hard feelings, eh?
Water under the bridge.
That's my little Marcelina,
always such a good sport!
Are you just letting them in?
Hold it right there!
The ceremony is only
for close friends and family.
- Not now, Zoska.
- What?
She means church is boring.
You'll go straight to the reception.
Be the first guests there.
With first choice of everything.
Now we're talking.
Shouldn't we wait with you?
Go, the carriage will be here soon enough.
I'm sure Tomek'll come, too.
You sure he didn't seem odd or nervous?
- Everything will be fine.
- Yeah?
Tomek?
- What happened?
- We'd better get a head start.
Be right back.
How do you like it?
Where's the carriage?
Majewski's horse broke its leg,
had to be shot.
- What?!
- But this is even better!
Your village had one horse?!
- I thought you had more!
- We did.
Hundreds of them.
Before the sickness came.
What are you wearing?
Isn't it another surprise of yours?
Turning me into a banana?
What's this?
It's a classic!
Super.
Step into my carriage.
Look, I realize now I should have
asked you before inviting your father.
But how was I to know?
Maybe if you'd been
more open with me about...
So it's my fault!
I didn't say it was your fault.
Tomek, why aren't you more open?
Tell me about your feelings!
I'm sorry I grew up in a family
where we communicate.
And don't keep feelings a secret.
That's a good one! No secrets!
What do you mean?
Nothing. Forget it.
No, you said it.
- Say what you mean.
- My tongue slipped.
- Are we there yet?
- Almost.
He knows this route well.
I drive the hearse.
The hearse!
If you know something I don't,
you'd better tell me.
Right now!
Ania, wait.
Honey!
I was gonna tell you at the right time.
Like when? Our honeymoon?
It's my mother's life!
How could you not tell me?!
- Radek begged me not to!
- Radek's an idiot!
What did he do?!
You came all the way from... Lublin?
This is your cousin from Texas!
Good morning!
All the best wishes!
- Thank you.
- Congratulations!
Take it easy. Just breathe.
Blink this right back!
The mascara's waterproof,
but the rest isn't.
Listen. Look at me.
I was a nervous wreck
on my wedding day.
Remember? And look how happy I am now!
You and Tomek will be so happy together!
You'll start a family.
True love lasts forever!
You'll have the perfect little baby
who makes you feel...
This is all one big lie.
Got it? Family, marriage, kids, all of it!
But it's not too late to turn back!
Let's both run away!
They're all waiting.
Wait.
I can't.
I'm sorry.
This isn't a good moment.
- I didn't mean to...
- What have you done?
Hold on.
- Be strong now, my son.
- Leave me alone, damn it!
It's my fault.
Get some fresh air. Excuse me.
Everyone, we will continue
after a short break. So...
Don't worry!
Everything will be fine.
Just a second!
I'm sorry to say
we've had a few delays here.
However, I'm pleased to announce that
there's plenty of food and drink
waiting for us at the reception pavilion.
I suggest we all head over there
and begin this grand celebration!
You're all welcome!
I'm your own daughter!
Why am I the last to know?
I didn't want you to be upset!
This was supposed to be your perfect day!
Well, it isn't!
Because you kept this secret from me!
Am I supposed to have fun
and celebrate while you're...
Happy.
I am happy.
For you.
Oh, look out! Your dress...
Mom!
I could have helped you.
- You still can. There's still time.
- Is there?
How much do you have, Mom?
I told you, they're still running tests.
I want to go to these tests with you!
To be with you!
How could you not tell me?
This is exactly why!
See the state you're in, my child?
God, what will I do without you, Mom?
What do you mean, without me?
I'm still here, aren't I?
The guests must be wondering
where the bride went. Let's go.
How can you even think about the wedding?
Darling...
This is exactly what matters.
I don't know how much time I've got.
No one does.
But I do know I want to
live it the best way I can.
And see my daughter marry
somebody she loves.
- No, Mom...
- Listen to me, honey.
I've lived a... wonderful life.
I was loved by a great man.
I've seen my daughter grow up
to be a beautiful, smart woman
who finds a love of her life on her own.
These are the things I want to
think about, not some illness.
I love you so much!
Hello, Max!
Is this a wedding or a wake?
Where's the music?
I don't think it's appropriate.
Maybe we should wait
until Tomek and Ania...
- Marcin...
- Marcel.
Which one of us is the groom's father?
Well... you are.
Excuse me.
Wiesiek!
Don't you have a band?
- I do.
- See this stage?
Hi.
We are The Young Wolves.
Love
is an easy word to say
Love
it's such a short wo...
It's E major!
But love
is anything but easy
Every day in love
Feels like no other
Suddenly
The whole world fits in your eyes
I don't know
If I know... you
Where do the gifts go?
Our moments
Turn into colorful...
That's a gift for the bride and groom!
Calm down, Marcelina.
There's plenty to go around.
Of course, the Tuareg tribe
has many words for beauty...
- but the one I loved most...
- Grandpa Max!
- was Ti-i-husay.
- Ti-i-husay.
See? Like a Tuareg chief.
Excuse me.
What's up, boy?
I looked it up online.
There is no Stanislaus
Kostka school in Nepal.
Is that so?
Tell me something, Patrick...
Pavel.
Whatever. Pavel.
Have you ever stood
atop a Caribbean volcano
and heard Santana play
Black Magic Woman?
No.
Ever watched the sunrise over Hong Kong
with two naked Japanese women?
No.
Ever been to Olsztyn?
No.
Then fuck off back to school, will you?
Now, where were we?
Ti-husay.
Ti-i-husay.
Hey, Wilk!
Have a shot with me.
I'm not married yet!
What, you're too posh to drink with me?
Marcel!
Couldn't you, I don't know,
multiply the portions?
But 100 more? Do I look like Jesus to you?
Marcel! Where have you been?!
Mushroom-picking, why?
It's a complete disaster!
Ania'll freak out when she sees this!
What was I to do?
It's your father's guests!
Who's running this show, you or him?
You're just like him. Typical!
You've no idea
how much I've put into this.
Our whole life I've been
fixing things for you,
but any setback, I'm the one to blame!
I'm not the reason
she ran out of the church!
You know what?
That's real low.
Bravo, Marcel.
Now this is a wedding!
You came back!
As I knew you would.
I'm sorry about what happened at church.
- I didn't mean to...
- Love is all about...
forgiveness.
I guess.
It's a beautiful thing, isn't it?
Right.
Excuse me.
Gotta go find Tomek.
Go!
Absinth-flavored vodka!
Two more cases coming.
- You're far too kind, really!
- It's fine.
- How will we ever repay you?
- Nonsense, it's no big deal.
It's nice being useful.
Smells good.
Amazing how many folks turned up.
I've gotta keep up with them.
Pardon me for saying so, but...
I've always admired the way
you persevere in difficult times.
I'm sorry...
I need to get rosemary.
Of course.
Sure thing.
I planned everything myself.
I handpicked all the roses.
Had to change the color
at a moment's notice.
And all I asked in return
was a tiny bit of respect.
Is that too much to ask of a friend?
No idea. All my friends are dead.
Marcel!
Gotcha!
Ania, dear.
I'm sorry, things got out of hand.
- Not your fault.
- It is too!
I wanted an unforgettable wedding
for you both, and here it is.
This isn't what matters. Really.
I have to find Tomek.
He went off.
Looking for you.
Any idea where he can be?
Try the river bend.
That's where bodies wash up.
Right...
Party!
There's a rule.
Never drink and dial.
- Who are you calling?
- Our nanny.
Oh, please!
Be happy the kid's not around.
I worry about him nonstop.
I had that, too.
I couldn't sleep when he cried.
I couldn't sleep when he slept.
I kept checking if he'd start crying.
And then I imagined the worst things
that can happen to him.
Everything.
- In gory detail.
- Really?
I thought it was just me!
No, really. Everything!
I imagined all his limbs torn off.
Tiny hands, tiny legs...
Blood everywhere! And mucus.
Excuse me!
That's okay.
Has anyone seen the groom?
He's all yellow!
Like a banana!
Rock harder!
Harder?
We're gonna do a classic.
Let's go!
You're so beautiful.
So beautiful.
In our village...
you'd be loved... by everyone.
Really?
Guys must be propositioning you
all the time, right?
Don't you feel tempted?
I have a kid and a husband!
Whom I love.
Besides, what can I say.
You know how women are.
My point exactly!
Bogdan!
I know you need help.
To understand a woman's fiery heart...
you must listen with your heart.
Here's a hint.
It's the groom!
I'm looking for Ania. Anyone seen her?
Which one?
- The one in the wedding dress!
- How was I supposed to know?
Hi.
Look.
At my wedding?!
Max!
You think you can just come here
whenever to produce new sons?
Father? You just hit Father?!
Kids!
Sorry, Dad.
Bogdan?
Have you seen Tomek?
No. Have you seen Ola?
No.
Is anything wrong?
No, why?
Well, you're not...
wearing any pants.
Ah, that...
Pants are just a construct.
Okay. So if you see Tomek...
Why do the Fates scorn happiness?
Why don't they throw it in our eyes?
Guys, stop this!
- I could have been a football star!
- Oh yeah? Please!
Whatever you scored
in that finale was a fluke!
- It was no fluke!
- What's going on?
- Stay out of it, Ma!
- Stay out of it, Ma!
That's enough!
- Not by the ear!
- Not by the ear, Mom!
Go back to the party.
Sit your ass down!
I'm sick and tired of all your fighting!
- He started it!
- He started it!
Let them be, baby. Boys will be boys.
I'll get to you in a moment.
Leszek!
Stop blaming Tomek for your own life.
You could have left, like him.
But you were too afraid.
No shame in that.
You are needed here, son.
Tomek...
I love you.
But seeing how you've been
ashamed of us makes me weep.
We aren't all that jazz
that city folks are,
but we're the ones
who pray for your success.
And we watch every episode of your show.
Really?
You too?
Yeah. It's pretty good.
And we'll still be here for you.
Long after the spotlight fades.
Right.
And you make me sick.
I saw you with her.
With whom?
My love, what do you mean?
Do you take me for a moron?
At your own son's wedding, too!
You keep saying love is a flower.
Ours has turned into a weed.
And, like a fool,
I've been watering it for...
for forty years.
But no more.
It's time I yanked it out by the root.
Collect your bags.
And go back to wherever
the hell you came from.
Let's go find Ania.
Boys...
we need to stick together.
You heard what Mom said.
Rock on!
I want to tell you...
Marcelina!
- Marcelina!
- My name is Marcel!
Marcelina!
Marian, we're leaving!
Tell me your wishes, o mighty maple tree!
I'm an oak!
O mighty oak tree.
Do not speak to me with your voice.
Speak to me with your heart.
How can I serve you,
Spirit of the Forest?
As creating the world
exhausted Mother Gaia,
so has birthing your tiny human seed pod
created a schism in your flesh mate.
Seed pod that's good!
I love my flesh mate so much.
Then show her!
I tried, but she always has a headache!
Try something else:
empty the dishwasher.
Ask her how she's feeling
and then actually listen to her!
I will, Your Leafy Highness!
There is one more thing...
Anything you want!
Throw the rings into the lake.
What rings?
Look in your pocket.
Oh, yeah.
But wait...
I can't throw these into the lake,
o Guardian of Eternity.
Enough with the titles!
My name is Michal.
My son
is a little shitty snot!
You can't speak of children this way!
Out loud.
Everyone knows it anyway!
He's just a spoiled little asshole!
I've done everything for him.
Played with all his favorite toys.
Read all the colorful baby books.
I breastfed him
until he was five years old, see?
And still he grew up to be an asshole!
It's not your fault...
No.
It's not your fault at all!
Radek?
We need to talk.
Look, I know I screwed up, but...
We need to end this.
What?
Why?
Because I don't love you.
You don't mean that.
Yes, I do. It was a mistake
bringing you out here.
I had fun playing with you,
- but I've had enough.
- Quit this bullshit!
Stop pushing me away.
You want us to break up?
Fine.
Just give me the real reason!
- Why?
- Because...
Because?
Well?
Because, like I said,
Just say it!
I don't want you to go
through the same pain I did!
Wasting the best years of your life...
watching someone you love die!
KRYSTYNA...
Leave me alone!
It was the years before I met you...
those were the ones I wasted.
- Please stop.
- I didn't know I could be so happy!
But now I do.
So there's no way I'm giving up on it!
You always say that time is precious.
Prove it now.
Marry me.
Let's go through this together.
In sickness and health.
What do you say?
Okay.
Yes?
Yes.
- Yes.
- Yes!
Yes!
Guys, here is the so-called torque strut.
Once adjusted, the engine
should be running like a Swiss...
I've wanted to do that for a long time.
Here goes another one.
Bogdan!
Where are your pants?
Are you high?
Love of my life!
You are the most
amazing woman I've ever met.
It's me who hasn't been good enough.
I thought I was a good father, but...
I never saw I'd been
a terrible husband. I see it now.
So clearly!
I will help you.
And that's why I had to
throw the rings into the lake.
What?!
- Ania!
- Tomek!
- I'm sorry!
- I'm sorry!
I'm sorry.
I should have told you
the moment I found out.
No, it's my fault.
I'm the one who's sorry.
You tried to do the right thing.
You're fantastic!
Thanks!
And your band's smoke machine is cool!
A what now?
The smoke machine!
- Fire!
- Come!
Get the fuck out! Fire!
Everyone get out!
It's all right, everybody got out!
Has anyone seen Father?!
You saved my life!
At long fucking last!
I've had it with you,
you insufferable prick!
I'm going home!
I'm sorry about how it went, you know.
Don't be sorry.
Was it your first time?
That's good.
You'll always remember me.
Can I send you an email?
No.
You'll have to come visit me.
Hey, Marcel.
You okay?
Someone brought plastic flowers.
And the wrong color to boot.
I'm sorry about what I said.
You were right.
I wanted everything perfect
and it couldn't have gone any worse.
Don't be silly.
At least it was unforgettable.
Look, if it hadn't been for you...
Ania and I wouldn't have met.
I wouldn't be where I am.
Hell, I wouldn't have
passed the fourth grade.
So, you know, I'll let this one slide.
You are the man of my life.
You always will be.
I've got an idea.
Tomek...
do you take Ania to be your wife?
Do you promise
to love and honor her,
in sickness and health,
until death do you part?
I do.
Ania...
do you take Tomek to be your husband?
Do you promise
to love and honor him,
in sickness and health,
until death do you part?
I do.
As a sign of your matrimony,
exchange the wedding rings.
Uh, sure.
Marcel!
Bogdan!
The rings?
They were lost in the fire.
I won't be needing mine anymore.
Here's the other one!
Lord, bless these rings...
which we bless in your name.
- Amen.
- Amen.
Ania...
receive this ring
as a sign of my love
and fidelity.
Tomek...
receive this ring
as a sign of my love and fidelity.
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
You may now kiss.
So I didn't have the perfect wedding
that every little girl dreams of.
But life that happens
is different from our dreams.
So is love.
Everybody says they need love,
but love is a different thing
at different stages of your life.
And maybe it's good that
little fires break out sometimes.
For once the decorations,
the flowers and all else burn away,
you're left with
the one thing that truly matters:
the two of you... together.
ALL ANIMALS ENJOYED THEMSELVES
IN THE MAKING OF THIS FILM.
AT OUR EXPENSE.