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Pleasure of Being Robbed, The (2008)
[Ambient city traffic sounds]
Becca! Edith! Amy! Stacy! Amanda! Janet! Julie! Dawn! Dawn! [Tires screeching] [Horns honking] - Hey. - Hey. How are you? I'm fine. It's nice to see you. I can't remember who you are. You don't recognize me. It's been such a long time, hasn't it? You look great. You too. Thank you so much. Thank you. How are you? I'm good. I've been really good. I've been really busy, all over the place and so on, but yeah, I'm good. It's just so nice to see you. You look great. Thanks. You too. Yeah, okay. I'm sorry to keep you. Are you in a rush? Yeah, I'm going for my lunch break. Yeah, okay. All right, take care now. Take care, bye. [Contemplative jazz piano music] Good morning, beautiful. Good morning, beautiful. Good morning, handsome. Good morning. Good morning, beautiful. Good morning, beautiful. Good morning, beautiful. Good morning, beautiful. Good morning, handsome. Good morning. Good morning, handsome. Good morning, beautiful. Good morning. Good morning, beautiful! - Hi, sweetie. - Hello. Oh, God. How are you, Astrid? I'm good. It's so good to see you. It's so good to see you. I'm so sorry I'm late. No, no, it's okay. I'm really, really sorry I'm late. I just got so distracted walking. No, it's fine. So what you reading? Oh, it's Grace Paley. She's great, and I'd love to tell you about her, but I'm really in a hurry, so maybe while we're walking. I got a whole chapter done while I was waiting for you. - I'm sorry. - No, it's cool. I got so distracted. How are you? - All right, how are you? - Good, good. You look younger and younger. There you go. I'm gonna just put this one right over here. Okay. Can I help you unload some things? - Yeah, sure. - Yeah? You know what? We're okay. Thank you very much though, okay? No? Okay, sorry. Thank you. This one is not very heavy but just keep it like this. Will you go watch her for a second, and I'm going to get it for her. - No problem, sir. - All right, thanks. Hey, Henry, did you see a bag that was over here? It was a little red and white bag that was her surprise. Did you see it? - No. - You didn't see it right here? I took the bags that you gave me. I took the rolley one. Go over there and see if it's over here. Watch her, okay? I'll get her. Let's see, Bea. Let's see if it's in the car. Come here. Dad, where's my surprise? How are you? I'm all right. You okay? - How are you doing? - I'm doing fine. What do you got in the bag? You've got so many things in the bag. I know. So many things. I just did a little bit of grocery shopping. How did you carry so... a big bag? Oh, not right now, Mike. I have so many things I've got to do. Mike, just in a little bit. I've got to put all these things away. A lot of things in the bag. I know. I have so many things. I have so many groceries. I have so much to do right now. Will you fix me a cup of coffee or something? Yeah, maybe a little bit later. So many things, Jesus Christ. I know. I know. And after a bit, I'll get you a cup of coffee. We'll sit and talk for a little while, okay? - I'm sorry, yeah. - All right. [Laughs] What's in here? Oh. Ay-ay-ay. Come back here. Come back here. Come here. You get back here. Come here. Come here, pooch. Come here. [Dog barking] Come here, pooch. Who's this dog? Who's in here? Oh, hi, you guys. Hi. I'm so sorry. I know what it's like to be in a tote bag with a wild dog. So what's your name, huh? Are you Smokey? Come on. On the bed. All right, who's next? You? What are you? Huh, Anthony? All right. There you go. Who else is there? Come on, little guys. Don't worry. Don't worry. I've got you. I've got you. Let me just make sure there's nobody else. [Kitten meows] You stay put, okay? Come on, you guys. Now you're here with me. Hey, come back here! Let's go to sleep. [Laughing] Thank you. [Laughing] How much for, like, a handful of them? It's per pound. What? It's per pound. Oh. Thank you. On the table. - On the table. - On the table. Come on, on the table. One-zero. We haven't started yet. This is warm-up. This is warm-up. You have two-minute warm up, haven't started yet. Take it easy. Well, let's start playing, come on. All right. Ball. Ball. Pick a hand. Um, that one. You can either choose to serve or give me the serve. You can have it. Here we go. Your serve. Jesus. Be careful! Listen, why are you even here? To play table tennis. Well, this is close, but not quite table tennis. Well, come on, let's just play. - Listen. - It's really fun, come on. But look, people here are spending time and energy playing in this tournament, and you're here doing this stuff. I know, but it's fun. Well, I think you're wasting your money and their time. Come on, just give me another try. All right. All right, my serve. Your serve. Hey, Wayne. What are you doing outside? Why aren't you playing? I lost in the advance to this big lefty looper. So I'm out. You lost? Yeah, it happens. [Laughs] Okay. So what are you gonna do? That's my tournament. I'm out of it. I'm gone. That's it. Hey, listen, don't laugh. I'm sorry. I've played in tournaments all over the county and clubs all over the world, and you are the worst player I've ever had the displeasure of having to play. Gee, Wayne. That's the truth. It's a tough game. Well, I'm sorry. I mean, I just wanted to have a little fun. Look. At least get a decent backhand. You've got this weird backhand hacker-wacker thing. It annoys people when it doesn't hit the table. Right now, you've got this kind of lifting, lobbing thing. What you have to do is withdraw your wrist into here. And when you hit backhand, you hit... [Laughs] Go away. Go away. [Voices overlapping] Everybody, may I have your attention please? Tonight, drinks for everybody are on me! Um, I'm sorry. I didn't know there were so many people in here. I'm sorry. Never mind. Good morning. Good morning. It's 7:30. Time for work. Time for work. Shit. I'm sorry. I thought it was my car. This is my car. Ciao, Elonora! Oh, Josh. - Oh! - Whoa! [Dull crash] I'm all right. Are you okay? I'm all right. Farewell. - Are you okay? - I'm all right. What are you doing? What are you... how are you? I'm okay, just biking, you know. That's nice. Breaking legs, getting hit by cars, you know, that type of stuff. Sorry. - It's a nice night. - Yeah. What are you doing? Well, I guess I'm just kind of trying to find the car that fits this key. What do you mean, find the car that fits this key? Is that... Is that a joke? Are you looking for your car? I guess I just kind of found this bag. Okay. And then inside the bag there was this set of keys, and I just want to see what car it turns on. All right, I'll help you do that. - Really? - Yeah, why not? What else do I have to do? It's all right. You weren't doing anything tonight? I'm just biking, you know, what are you... what do you know about what the car looks like? What do we know? Tell me. Fill me in. I'm totally out of the loop. Okay, I mean... I guess I sort of actually picked up this whole bag. Uh-huh. And inside there was just a bunch of stuff, and then there's also this camera. One of the pictures is a picture of a woman. She's standing next to a car. Okay. Does the car key have a name on it or a model or anything? Oh, God. I don't know. Yeah, it's a Volvo key. Oh, yeah. So we just have to look for a Volvo. Well, I've been trying all of the cars on this street. There's a Volvo right here. Give me the key. So yeah, this... this looks like a match. Well, it looks like a car, not a match, but... Yeah, but it's not gonna be the same car as in the picture. No, it's going to work. I just don't think that this is the one, Josh. You just have to let me just do this thing that generally is successful for me. This key is going to fit in this car, and it is going to work. It's going to open this car only because I'm saying that. It fits in. - It fits? - Yeah. Open up the door. It's not quite opening, though. Well, look, right across the street there's a car that looks exactly the same. It's just a different color. - Give me the keys. - No, this is gonna work. I guess it is the exact same car. This is the one. - I'm sure of it. - All right. Here, toss me the keys again. All right. Okay. You have black stuff all over your finger now. - I don't care. - All right. Well, it fits in the key... All right, does it turn? It fit in that one too. Did it turn? - It turned. - No way. Ha ha! Huh? You want to open the door for me? Oh. Thank you. You can't throw keys at a door. That's not how doors unlock. Okay. Well, I'll figure it out better next time. That's like getting to your front door and just throwing the keys at the door. Look at all this stuff in here. Check this out. Tide. This is the best. There's so much great stuff back here. Oh, fuck. Huh? I got Tide all over my jacket. Smells really nice, though. - Could be worse, right? - Yeah. Where are we going? What do you mean? I almost licked this off my hand. I did. My instinct was to lick... "Oh, something spilled on me. Lick it off your hand." I can't believe we actually did this. - I am so cool. - Here. Look at my Volvo. What am I supposed to do with those? - Turn the car on. - What do you mean? I don't know how to drive. Put your... come on. Turn the car on. Josh, I've never driven a car before. - Really? - Really. I'm not gonna drive this car. No way. How long... what were you planning on doing when you found the car? Just sit in it? I don't know. I just thought it would be fun to look around inside. It's really easy to drive; I'll teach you. That way when you think back on it ten years from now... ugh, this Tide is disgusting... you'll say, "I know how to drive. Josh taught me." [Engine turning] There you go. Turn the lights on. Oh, look, you got a ticket. I have a ticket already. Here, grab... unroll the window. All right, now stick your hand out and grab the ticket. I'm gonna put the windshield wipers on. No, you got to lean forward. My first ticket. Yeah. Shit. They make them so you can't do that because they know how angry people get when they get tickets. Whatever. All right, so I'll teach you how to drive. You really don't know how to drive? No, I have no idea. The car is on though, right? Yeah, so first turn on the lights. Let me adjust my mirror. - Sit back - Okay. - Right on me. - Perfect. So that way if you... That way if you don't... I'm your blind spot now. All right, so you want to turn the lights on first. All right, put your foot on the brake, 'cause that's the only way you can change gears. - I have it on it, yeah. - P is for park. R is for reverse. N is for neutral. D is for drive. L is for L. Okay, I got it. So there's two pedals, obviously. Yes. The right one is the gas. - The left one is the brake. - Mm-hmm. And you want to... [Engine revving] That's the gas. Yeah. And the brake doesn't make a sound, unless you're going really fast and need to come to a stop, and then it makes a terrible sound. Right. Oh, you've got to put your hands on the steering wheel. This kind of controls the car. All right, I'm going to put you in reverse. - Reverse? - Yeah. - Why? - Reverse. I don't know how to drive backwards. Well, that's what you do; you got to live it. Do I have to look behind? - I mean, most people do. - Can you just tell me? Okay, I'll just tell you. Go. Go. Okay, okay. Let's uh, not... not give it any gas. All right, slowly take your foot off the brake, and you'll start moving automatically. My foot is shaking like crazy. - Well, slowly release it off. - Okay. Okay, a little bit more. A little bit more. A little bit more. Am I doing all right? Yeah, you just got to keep going back. - I can see your ear. - We'll get there. We can get there. Wait, look at me when I'm doing this. Okay, go back. All right, we're gonna put you in drive. I want to get out of this spot right away. All right, you got to cut the wheel. Okay. Don't give it any gas. Don't give it any gas. Don't give it any gas. - Okay. - Okay. - Keep going. - Keep going. Now... Are we gonna hit that bike? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, go, give it a... let go. I mean, normally the driver holds on to the wheel. - You all right? - Yeah, I'm okay. Let's reset this mirror, so that it... Yeah, turn it more so that I can... I can't really do it for you though. Is that good? No. You want to go a little faster? Just 'cause there's a lot of cars behind us. [Horn honks] Okay. Shall I just let that car pass? All right, he passed, so you can go. That's all right. Well, we've missed the light now. It's all right. It's okay. That's okay, right? You're doing well, you're doing well. All right, you want to stop, though, for the red light. Okay. When you use the brake... You don't have to turn the car off when we come to a stop. I guess that cab passed me. Do you want to turn the car back on? - Sure. - Okay. - Clockwise? - Yes. - All right. - Wow. Okay, so we're surrounded by cabs. It's like a driver's worst nightmare. - I'm gonna turn right. - All right. - Right now? - You have to turn right. - Tell me when. - Now, with the light. Oh, shut up! We have a driver learning how to drive here. Okay, tell him to pass. Tell him to pass. Sorry. - You all right? - Yeah, I'm okay. You getting the hang of it? Yeah, I think so. All right. Now what? Um, I don't know. We can go right. - Yeah? - Yeah. This side, right? Yeah. Yes. Yes, right. What have you been up to? - You know. - I haven't seen you in a while. You haven't seen me in a while. Well, I don't know. I've just, um... [Truck horn blares] Fuck you! [Laughs] It's a little tour. Did you want some bread? Sure, I'll take bread. Where did this come from? l-I just... Well, I don't know, it's really good isn't it? It's from this bakery. I forgot what it's called. How are you feeling? I'm gonna turn the... - I feel really good. - You don't need these on. - I can't see. - Sorry. I just wanted to clean the windshield off. [Horn honks] - Shit! - Oh, God. Hey, do you want to drive me home? Drive me home. I haven't been driven home in so long. All right, let's drive you home. Let's drive you home. All right, so I'm going... I'll take you right to your door. You want to make a right up here. - A right? - Yeah. Over here? - Yeah, right up here. - Whoa. - All right, be careful. - Is that okay? Hey, we're gonna go this way. Can you tell them? All right, he's going that way. Is it all right now? - Yeah, make a right. - Okay. Not stop but you want to go... you want... wait. Is it two ways? Yes. Make a left. So yeah, we're just gonna keep going straight. - Keep going straight. - Yeah. - Straight. - Yeah. It says go... keep right. Yeah, you're gonna want to get on here. Okay. It's pretty up here. Yeah, it's really nice. I'm not so close to here though. So, straight? Yeah, go straight. You want to merge on to here. What is this? This is the West Side Highway. What? Yeah, it's the West Side Highway. Are you sure? Yeah, you just want to pick up some speed. - This way? - Yeah. Where do you live, Josh? I'm living in... I'm living in Boston now. You live in Boston? Yeah. Should I go a little faster? A little bit faster. Everyone's passing you. I think someone's giving you the brights. [Horn honking] What? What do you want? - Am I going too slow? - I think so. But whatever, don't worry about it. You're allowed to legally go this slow. Go back to Jersey, you fucking cunt! Fuck you, asshole! She's learning how to drive! Don't try to catch up to him. Don't worry about it. God damn it, do they usually do that? Assholes usually do that. I'm gonna catch up to him. Yeah, just hit him as hard as you can. It's easy, right? Yeah, it's easy. Why are there all these tractor-trailers around here? - Do I look weird at the wheel? - No. Why are those guys looking at me? I don't know. You're pretty? I'm gonna go to the bathroom, okay? All right. You want to buy The Net? Yeah, get it. Pay for it. Excuse me. How much is this race car jacket? Oh. [Retches] [Coughs] Hi. How you doin'? Fine. You don't want one of those guys. We all take those when we go out on our cigarette breaks so they're half empty. You want one from the back. Oh, okay. Thank you. How much is it? - $1.05 - $1.05? - Yep. - Okay. You take cards? - Yeah. - All right. Don't worry, it's stolen. All right. That place was amazing. Yeah, it was. Let's go, come on. What's that smell? What smell? It smells like cologne. I have no idea what you're talking about. It stinks. It kind of does smell. It might be... it might be someone from outside. I don't know. I hope it goes away soon. Maybe when we start driving. I smell it now; it's disgusting. It's gross, right? Yeah, it's disgusting. How am I doing? Look at you with the one arm. Pro. Do you know how, like, advanced of a move this is? I'm going the wrong way. [Contemplative jazz piano music] Thank you. Have a nice day. I'm just right up here in between these two cars. Okay. Just over here? Yeah, just try pulling... don't even try to parallel park; just pull right in. Okay. - That's fine. - Just like that? - Yeah, that's fine. - This is where you live? Yeah. Bye, Josh. You gonna go back to New York now? You gonna drive back? Yeah, I think so. Mm-hmm. By yourself? Mm-hmm. I think that was your telephone. - Okay, sorry. - It's okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa, too fast. - Okay. - All right. Is this how you normally get into your apartment? Only when I'm lucky enough. Sorry. Dirty dishes. What's that all about? I'm not really sure myself. It's clouds, I don't know. It's also a weird way for me not to have to make my bed ever. It's kind of like a lowering of some sorts. A torture chamber or something. Yeah, I'm not really sure. What's that? A drawing I found in the bottom of my car once. No idea who drew it. Could be a slew of many people. Whoa, hey, what are you doing? What are you doing? You're captured forever now. I have you forever. [Laughs] [Loud thud] Ow! You all right? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Your trap worked. Not really. Look, you're out. What am I gonna do now? This is pretty amazing, this photograph. I'm not up to that yet. [Fly buzzing] [Buzzing continues] Oh, I can't... I can't go to sleep with a fly in the room. I can't do it. They know that I hate them, so they, like, buzz in my ears. Hey, stop. Just flying around, going in, saying hello, going out. Yeah, I wake up every 1 5 minutes. It's terrible. It's just a fly. I can't do it. Do you want me to take care of it for you? I can do it too. Huh? You think you can get it? No, not at all. You can't catch a fly. I'll get it for you. I'd like to see you try to catch the fly. I'll get him. Now's your chance; he's sitting right on the wall. It's huge. Is that a horse fly? I don't know. It's huge, though. Whoa. [Laughing] What's so funny? I just can't believe you actually caught it. That was amazing. I got it. It's humungous. What was he doing? He was waiting for me to take him outside for a little walk. Where are you taking him? I'm just taking him outside. I'm gonna put him out the kitchen window. Go on. Go. How is he? I think he's okay. There's a spot. Oh, shit. You guys going out? Is that a spot? Shit. [Tea kettle whistling] [Melancholy trumpet music] Don't touch that. No, don't do that. Go get some sand. Why? Why? I want to do this. Because it would be better with sand; don't do that. - Why? - Just don't do it. Fine. Get the bucket and get some sand. I got the bucket of sand. Now what do you want me to do? Go up on the ladder. Okay. And then take it down on the slide. Put it down... no, no this ladder over here. Okay. Take it down the slide. Pour it down the slide. But that's dumb and weird. No, no, do it. It'll be cool. For our movie. That was... that was weird. I thought mine... Twist me. Twist me more. Must twist. Twist me more. More? More. More. Good. More, More. More. Good. More, more. More. Excuse me, miss? Excuse me, what are you doing? I'm looking through your bag. Excuse me. Excuse me, that's my purse. I'm just looking through it. That's my purse. Miss, this is my purse. - I'm just looking through it. - Help! This is my purse. Somebody help! She's trying to take my purse. Give me my purse! Give me my purse. I'm not doing anything. I'm just looking through it. I'm just looking through it. Let me have my things. Put your hands where I can see them. Whose purse is this? It's my purse. Get your hands out of there. I just want to look through it. I just want to look through it. Put your hands on the rail. Hands on the rail. What's your name, ma'am? Turn around. Don't move. Miranda, are you okay? Don't resist, don't resist. Give me your other hand. You're only making it harder. Don't resist. It hurts. You're being arrested. Let's check the bag. [Cell phone ringing] You think you could answer that for me? She's getting a cell call. Just answer it. Just ask who it is. - Hello? - Tell them I'll call them back. No, this is not Elaine. Listen, she's under arrest. Li... you don't give a shit? Listen, this is a police officer talking to you, all right? This is not a game. She's under arrest. You can talk to her later when she gets out. You want to leave a message, fine, other than that I can't help... This fuckin' prick just hung up on me, you believe this? Who the hell was that? [Indistinct radio chatter] Central, Somebody harassing animals at the zoo? We're going to the zoo? Hey, wait, where are you guys going? You're just gonna leave me here? We're going to the zoo. Why? You want to come? I've never been to the Central Park Zoo before. Oh, I suppose you want a hot dog too with mustard, sauerkraut. I've never been to the zoo before. Come on, we can't leave her here. All right, take her out. Come on. I've been to the Bronx Zoo. I've been to the Prospect Park Zoo. But I've never been to the Central Park Zoo before. What are you doing? She's our prisoner. It's okay. Come on, it's okay. Will you put your stick back in your pants? All right, hold on, hold on. Don't go nowhere. We got you. Okay. This'll be fun. So we're just gonna wait around here? Yeah. Do we have to? Can we go inside for a little bit? I don't think that's a great idea. Yeah, but, like, can we just go inside and just look around a little bit? We don't have to go near them. We can just look around the zoo for a little while. I can't. I can't do it. Please? Please. I don't think that's a good idea. Please. Ten minutes. Not a minute less. Okay. Ten minutes. Ten minutes, that's it. - Ten minutes. - Okay, okay. - Ten minutes. - Okay. [Voices overlapping] I like the way they shake their arms. They're all mellow. I want to see them, like, jumping out. [Laughs] Oh, my God. Turn around. [Kissing sound] Hey, son! You know, the funny part is... I knew this guy for years. What'd you do? I don't know. Me neither. Officer, what exactly are you charging me with? Petting... petting an animal at a zoo? Is that what you're gonna... is that what you're gonna charge me with? His number should be at the desk, and you call him directly, man. Hey. Hey, man, is there any way you can take the cuffs off me? 'Cause my mom lives here, and l... you know, I'll just tell her that I was, like, paying a parking ticket or something. Officer, can you take the cuffs off me? As soon as we get inside, my man. Can you do it now? You'll have to wait for the sergeant on that. Yo, where's your hat? Sorry. And don't forget the bag either. The sarge sees you without that hat, we'll never hear the end of it. Yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right. Now you got to go make a left. [Laid-back indie rock music] I know your days been long ? ? Your head's on fire ? ? Honey tell me all about it ? ? Keeping all those spiders quiet ? ? Pinching in the sides of your stomach ? ? She's the kind of girl that takes your lonely day ? ? and paints it black ? ? She's the kind of homesick wind ? ? that pulls the grin from a horse's mouth ? ? It's hard to love the son when he don't love you back ? ? He just stands there sweating and smiling ? ? Lady plant don't you look so sad ? ? Don't you look at him like that ? ? She's got a mom and dad in a Ziploc bag ? ? hanging on the wall ? ? Come on and take the long way home ? ? Take it anywhere at all ? ? Just take it out ? [Music stops] I would like to play a little tune I just composed not too long ago entitled Pannonica. It was named after this beautiful lady here. I think her father gave her that name after a butterfly that he tried to catch. I don't think he caught the butterfly. [Contemplative jazz piano music] |
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