00:00:28,399 -- 00:00:34,202
# When l met you in the restaurant #
2
00:00:34,299 -- 00:00:40,261
# You could tell l
was no debutante #
3
00:00:40,366 -- 00:00:44,769
# You asked me what's
my pleasure #
4
00:00:44,866 -- 00:00:47,664
# A moyie or ft meftsure? #
5
00:00:47,766 -- 00:00:50,530
# l'll have a cup of tea #
6
00:00:50,633 -- 00:00:55,127
# And tell you of my dreaming #
7
00:00:55,233 -- 00:00:58,134
# Dreaming is free #
8
00:00:58,233 -- 00:01:01,202
# Dreaming #
9
00:01:01,299 -- 00:01:04,360
# Dreaming is free #
10
00:01:04,466 -- 00:01:10,234
# l don't want to live on charity #
11
00:01:10,333 -- 00:01:14,929
# Pleasure's real or is it fantasy? #
12
00:01:15,033 -- 00:01:17,126
Hey, check this out.
13
00:01:17,233 -- 00:01:20,396
Everywhere l go, people
totally lose it.
14
00:01:20,500 -- 00:01:22,866
l'm Victoria English...
15
00:01:22,966 -- 00:01:25,730
sorority princess of
South Beach University.
16
00:01:25,833 -- 00:01:29,234
And, oh, yeah, this year l've
gotta makeover a bunch...
17
00:01:29,333 -- 00:01:32,894
of clueless freshmen into
Gamma Gamma girls.
18
00:01:33,000 -- 00:01:35,230
Oh, look at this
Shakira wannabe.
19
00:01:35,333 -- 00:01:36,493
See what l mean?
20
00:01:36,599 -- 00:01:39,068
She's taking a freaking
cab instead of a limo.
21
00:01:39,166 -- 00:01:40,929
Not hot.
22
00:01:41,033 -- 00:01:43,627
See, Gamma Gamma
sorority is in a contest...
23
00:01:43,733 -- 00:01:48,670
to become FHM Magazine's
hottest sorority in the country.
24
00:01:48,766 -- 00:01:52,258
Everyone wants to go to
South Beach University.
25
00:01:52,366 -- 00:01:55,802
A couple of years ago, they
Iet unhot people in here...
26
00:01:55,900 -- 00:01:58,460
and things haven't been the same.
27
00:02:02,566 -- 00:02:05,467
l guess i'll just have to put
a blonde wig on this one.
28
00:02:15,099 -- 00:02:16,658
Daddy, stop the car here.
29
00:02:16,766 -- 00:02:19,166
- But there's a spot up front.
- Dad, this car is embarrassing.
30
00:02:19,266 -- 00:02:20,858
l don't want people to
think that l'm poor.
31
00:02:20,966 -- 00:02:23,434
Well, honey, you are poor.
32
00:02:23,533 -- 00:02:25,501
Look at this little minx.
33
00:02:25,599 -- 00:02:27,500
This is Kristen Ass.
34
00:02:27,599 -- 00:02:29,693
lf l'd have known she'd
come in that car,
35
00:02:29,800 -- 00:02:31,597
l would have never
Iet her pledge.
36
00:02:37,866 -- 00:02:38,594
Excuse me.
37
00:02:38,699 -- 00:02:39,689
So there you have it.
38
00:02:39,800 -- 00:02:42,928
A mission to turn the ''wannabes''
into the ''be wanteds.''
39
00:02:43,033 -- 00:02:44,261
Should be fun.
40
00:02:50,433 -- 00:02:52,196
Smell that?
41
00:02:52,300 -- 00:02:55,531
That, my friends, is the
smell of opportunity.
42
00:02:55,633 -- 00:02:59,763
Fresh, un-tapped poon tang.
43
00:02:59,866 -- 00:03:01,663
Did you just say poon tang?
44
00:03:01,766 -- 00:03:03,893
l mean, that's why they
call them freshmen!
45
00:03:04,000 -- 00:03:07,367
Because their coochies
are fresh for all us men.
46
00:03:07,466 -- 00:03:08,524
What's going on?
47
00:03:08,633 -- 00:03:09,725
- Hello, ladies.
- Hi.
48
00:03:09,833 -- 00:03:12,495
Welcome to South Beach.
49
00:03:12,599 -- 00:03:14,898
l love fresh coochy!
50
00:03:17,099 -- 00:03:21,298
Victoria will be here in 45
seconds, ladies, so smarten up.
51
00:03:22,800 -- 00:03:24,768
# Whoa, whoa, whoa #
52
00:03:24,866 -- 00:03:30,998
# Whoa, whoa, whoa #
53
00:03:31,099 -- 00:03:36,333
# Got somebody, she's a beauty #
54
00:03:36,433 -- 00:03:41,496
# Very special, really and truly #
55
00:03:41,599 -- 00:03:46,401
# Take good care of me,
like it's her duty #
56
00:03:46,500 -- 00:03:49,833
Every year, school starts
when l pop out of my limo
57
00:03:49,933 -- 00:03:51,924
and see my shadow.
58
00:03:52,033 -- 00:03:55,366
But l can't see my shadow
because l'm so thin.
59
00:03:55,466 -- 00:03:58,697
Gamma Gamma pledges
ready for inspection.
60
00:03:58,800 -- 00:04:02,065
People say l shouldn't
torture my pledges.
61
00:04:02,166 -- 00:04:05,932
But l say, who says
Iearning can't be fun?
62
00:04:06,033 -- 00:04:08,661
Sweetie, do you have
any idea who l am?
63
00:04:08,766 -- 00:04:10,131
You're Victoria English.
64
00:04:10,233 -- 00:04:12,098
And what do l do here?
65
00:04:12,199 -- 00:04:14,828
You're the president of the
Gamma Gamma house?
66
00:04:14,933 -- 00:04:17,060
And the ultimate role model
for every college girl
67
00:04:17,166 -- 00:04:18,793
on the face of the earth.
68
00:04:18,899 -- 00:04:20,527
Starting to like this one.
69
00:04:20,633 -- 00:04:23,534
Wait. Whose top is that?
70
00:04:23,633 -- 00:04:24,861
- Mine?
- No.
71
00:04:24,966 -- 00:04:26,695
Whose top is that,
gamma pledge?
72
00:04:26,800 -- 00:04:28,563
Dolce and Gabbana.
73
00:04:28,666 -- 00:04:31,464
Ma'am, my top is Dolce
and Gabbana, ma'am.
74
00:04:31,566 -- 00:04:34,057
- It's Dolce and Gabbana.
- Don't you forget it.
75
00:04:39,899 -- 00:04:41,959
What the hell kind of
nail color is that?
76
00:04:42,066 -- 00:04:46,093
- It's ''cherries in the snow. ''
- So last week.
77
00:04:46,199 -- 00:04:48,668
Suck it off, Gamma pledge.
78
00:04:48,766 -- 00:04:50,393
l will, ma'am.
79
00:04:54,300 -- 00:04:58,634
You. The shoes.
80
00:04:58,733 -- 00:05:00,701
l saw those on sale
Iast week, didn't i?
81
00:05:00,800 -- 00:05:03,234
No. My mom sent 'em to me.
82
00:05:03,333 -- 00:05:06,359
Those shoes are expired.
Totally unhot.
83
00:05:11,633 -- 00:05:13,965
Two out of three,
this is a disaster.
84
00:05:14,066 -- 00:05:16,261
- Morgan?
- Yes, Victoria? Ma'am.
85
00:05:16,366 -- 00:05:20,598
Please explain to these jackasses
what's at stake this year.
86
00:05:20,699 -- 00:05:22,224
Listen up, ladies.
87
00:05:22,333 -- 00:05:26,702
This year, FHM Magazine will be
selecting the hottest sorority
88
00:05:26,800 -- 00:05:29,428
in the nation to be
featured on their cover...
89
00:05:29,533 -- 00:05:33,025
and we are one of
five finalists.
90
00:05:33,133 -- 00:05:35,658
And l'm not gonna let a bunch
of clueless pledges stand...
91
00:05:35,766 -- 00:05:38,428
in between me and the number
one spot in the country.
92
00:05:38,533 -- 00:05:41,024
- Is that clear?
- Yes, ma'am!
93
00:05:41,133 -- 00:05:43,158
Victoria, we may have
a little problem here.
94
00:05:43,266 -- 00:05:44,494
What?
95
00:05:44,600 -- 00:05:49,799
''This year, the winning sorority
must embody diversification.''
96
00:05:49,899 -- 00:05:54,860
ln other words, geeks, nerds,
scientists--everybody.
97
00:05:58,199 -- 00:06:00,134
Problem solved.
98
00:06:00,233 -- 00:06:02,258
We'll just pledge some geeks.
99
00:06:02,366 -- 00:06:04,630
We will?
100
00:06:04,733 -- 00:06:09,898
And when we win the magazine
cover, let the fun begin.
101
00:06:10,000 -- 00:06:15,336
Gamma Gamma Girl group hug!
102
00:06:15,433 -- 00:06:16,923
All right, that's enough.
103
00:06:17,033 -- 00:06:18,227
l like the love...
104
00:06:18,333 -- 00:06:20,597
but let's not get all Ellen
DeGeneres about it, okay?
105
00:06:31,000 -- 00:06:32,900
lt's so good.
106
00:06:40,866 -- 00:06:43,096
- Kristen?
- Gloria.
107
00:06:43,199 -- 00:06:46,135
Hi. What are you doing here?
108
00:06:46,233 -- 00:06:47,825
Surprise!
109
00:06:47,933 -- 00:06:50,265
- Mr. Haas.
- Oh, hey, Gloria.
110
00:06:50,366 -- 00:06:52,334
- Hi.
- How are you? Nice to see you.
111
00:06:52,433 -- 00:06:53,457
Whoo!
112
00:06:53,566 -- 00:06:54,897
How are you doing?
113
00:06:55,000 -- 00:06:56,399
- l'm great.
- What is this?
114
00:06:56,500 -- 00:06:58,900
Well, l ran into Gloria's mom a
while back, and she mentioned...
115
00:06:59,000 -- 00:07:01,491
she was coming to South Beach,
so l made a few phone calls...
116
00:07:01,600 -- 00:07:04,296
and we arranged for
you two to live together.
117
00:07:04,399 -- 00:07:07,335
- Bingo!
- Wow, thanks, dad.
118
00:07:07,433 -- 00:07:10,027
- Yeah, unexpected.
- Full of surprises.
119
00:07:10,133 -- 00:07:12,192
Well, l know what good
friends you two are.
120
00:07:12,300 -- 00:07:14,700
- Were.
- Like, in the ninth grade.
121
00:07:14,800 -- 00:07:16,267
You two get reacquainted...
122
00:07:16,366 -- 00:07:18,357
l'll go get the rest
of the bags, okay?
123
00:07:18,466 -- 00:07:23,403
- Sure.
- l'll be right back.
124
00:07:23,500 -- 00:07:27,061
Are you sure this is
what you really want?
125
00:07:27,166 -- 00:07:29,634
l don't understand why you
have to live in the dorms...
126
00:07:29,733 -- 00:07:31,530
when we live in Coral Gables.
127
00:07:31,633 -- 00:07:33,624
Oh, you don't understand.
128
00:07:33,733 -- 00:07:36,600
'Cause l don't understand why
you had to park your car...
129
00:07:36,699 -- 00:07:38,759
in someone else's garage.
130
00:07:38,866 -- 00:07:40,834
And by car, l mean cock.
131
00:07:40,933 -- 00:07:43,128
- Mommy, what's a--
- It's a rooster, honey.
132
00:07:45,899 -- 00:07:47,390
Kathy, what do you
want me to say?
133
00:07:47,500 -- 00:07:48,899
l keep telling you l'm sorry.
134
00:07:49,000 -- 00:07:51,400
Yeah, you're sorry all right--
a sorry excuse for a husband.
135
00:07:51,500 -- 00:07:54,162
Kids, mommy's going
away to college.
136
00:07:54,266 -- 00:07:55,631
And you know why?
137
00:07:55,733 -- 00:07:58,793
Daddy decided to sleep with some
little tramp from his office!
138
00:07:58,899 -- 00:08:00,595
Well, see you Thanksgiving.
139
00:08:00,699 -- 00:08:03,100
- Bye, kids.
- Bye. Love you.
140
00:08:03,199 -- 00:08:08,035
Hey, football, huh?
Anybody up for a gangbang?
141
00:08:08,133 -- 00:08:09,930
Kathy, Jesus Christ!
142
00:08:13,533 -- 00:08:14,522
- Victoria.
143
00:08:14,633 -- 00:08:17,227
- Baby Dick, l missed
you so much.
144
00:08:17,333 -- 00:08:20,063
Not as much as l missed you,
my little English muffin.
145
00:08:26,800 -- 00:08:29,132
This is my new
boyfriend in training.
146
00:08:29,233 -- 00:08:30,996
He's already progressed
to week three.
147
00:08:31,100 -- 00:08:32,089
Wow.
148
00:08:32,199 -- 00:08:37,433
And, ladies, he's my property,
so hands and eyes off.
149
00:08:37,533 -- 00:08:40,263
Well, you can look.
150
00:08:40,366 -- 00:08:42,630
Now go and be a good boy,
and go get my luggage.
151
00:08:42,733 -- 00:08:44,564
lt's been on the sidewalk
for ten minutes.
152
00:08:44,666 -- 00:08:45,997
Right away, princess.
153
00:08:46,100 -- 00:08:51,561
Oh, and Baby D?
Gamsie needs to go potty.
154
00:08:51,666 -- 00:08:53,759
Okay.
155
00:08:56,766 -- 00:08:58,233
Thanks, bitch.
156
00:09:02,733 -- 00:09:05,327
Hi there! l'm Kathy!
157
00:09:05,433 -- 00:09:08,527
l'm your roommate!
158
00:09:08,633 -- 00:09:10,863
Well, come here, you!
159
00:09:10,966 -- 00:09:13,696
Oh, it is so good to meet you.
160
00:09:13,799 -- 00:09:18,203
We are gonna be
BFF, you and me.
161
00:09:18,299 -- 00:09:21,895
- Maxine. Nice to meet you.
- Ooh, who's the hottie?
162
00:09:22,000 -- 00:09:25,333
- That's my daddy.
- Dirty son of a bitch.
163
00:09:25,433 -- 00:09:28,630
Hey, roomie, do you know where
l could find some pot?
164
00:09:28,733 -- 00:09:30,394
- No.
- Ludes?
165
00:09:30,500 -- 00:09:33,025
- No.
- Meth? Lsd? Pcp? Crack rocks?
166
00:09:33,133 -- 00:09:34,259
No!
167
00:09:34,366 -- 00:09:36,493
Well, looks like l'm gonna
have to kick it old school.
168
00:09:39,200 -- 00:09:40,667
Ugh!
169
00:09:45,566 -- 00:09:49,195
- Here, let me help you unpack.
- No, not that bag!
170
00:09:49,299 -- 00:09:53,999
Hey, good idea. Sugar buzz!
171
00:09:59,866 -- 00:10:02,994
This fool's lucky he didn't
walk into Gamma.
172
00:10:03,100 -- 00:10:05,398
His pee-pee would've
Ieft on a stretcher.
173
00:10:05,500 -- 00:10:07,559
Don't forget to call every night.
174
00:10:07,666 -- 00:10:09,497
l promise, Mom. Goodbye.
175
00:10:11,966 -- 00:10:14,560
Keep an eye on that girl.
l think she might be disturbed.
176
00:10:14,666 -- 00:10:16,634
Mom!
177
00:10:16,733 -- 00:10:18,826
l'm so sorry about that.
178
00:10:18,933 -- 00:10:21,367
You know what moms are like.
179
00:10:21,466 -- 00:10:24,697
Yeah. Drunks with guns.
180
00:10:24,799 -- 00:10:28,702
- l'm Babs.
- Tonya.
181
00:10:30,933 -- 00:10:33,299
Open!
182
00:10:33,399 -- 00:10:36,494
Um, hi there. l think we
found your roommate.
183
00:10:36,600 -- 00:10:39,569
Yeah, we can't pronounce her
name. It sounds very exotic.
184
00:10:39,666 -- 00:10:44,660
- Uh, Senagarvar--
- Senagarvarapoopoo Ghandasini.
185
00:10:44,766 -- 00:10:47,234
Oh, PooPoo! That's cute.
186
00:10:47,333 -- 00:10:51,133
Very nice to make the
acquaintance to you.
187
00:10:51,233 -- 00:10:53,394
'Sup? Monique. l like your style.
188
00:10:53,500 -- 00:10:55,900
Hi, l'm Maxine.
'Sup, Maxine?
189
00:10:56,000 -- 00:10:58,434
l'm Kathy, and l like to party.
190
00:10:58,533 -- 00:11:01,331
Good to know.
l'm here studying music.
191
00:11:01,433 -- 00:11:02,798
Word, homey.
192
00:11:02,899 -- 00:11:04,527
l'm just here to get even
with my husband.
193
00:11:04,633 -- 00:11:07,466
l'm gonna nail as many
guys as possible.
194
00:11:07,566 -- 00:11:11,127
l'm just here for general
studies, for now.
195
00:11:11,233 -- 00:11:14,100
Hey, you girls wanna check
out my new boob job?
196
00:11:14,200 -- 00:11:17,135
Doctor says they should
realign themselves...
197
00:11:17,233 -- 00:11:19,394
and the scarring should go
down in a few months.
198
00:11:19,500 -- 00:11:23,527
l'm sure to land some man meat
with these milk bags, huh?
199
00:11:23,633 -- 00:11:28,195
When living together, blondes
and brunettes will always fight.
200
00:11:28,299 -- 00:11:32,999
You look a lot different than
the last time l saw you.
201
00:11:33,100 -- 00:11:35,193
My solution? Let the blonde win.
202
00:11:35,299 -- 00:11:36,961
No, l mean you look good.
203
00:11:37,066 -- 00:11:38,363
Yeah.
204
00:11:38,466 -- 00:11:41,958
Listen, let's just be clear.
205
00:11:42,066 -- 00:11:43,966
We're not in ninth grade
anymore, okay?
206
00:11:44,066 -- 00:11:46,227
We're different people now.
At least l am.
207
00:11:46,333 -- 00:11:49,359
So let's not pretend we're gonna
be college buddies, okay?
208
00:11:49,466 -- 00:11:51,229
Just because you got yourself
some new clothes,
209
00:11:51,333 -- 00:11:53,733
and bleached your teeth,
and fixed your nose.
210
00:11:53,833 -- 00:11:55,698
l didn't get my nose fixed!
211
00:11:58,066 -- 00:11:59,363
God!
212
00:12:05,966 -- 00:12:07,433
Level-one, level-two,
Ievel-three, level-four.
213
00:12:07,533 -- 00:12:09,967
One, two, three, four.
214
00:12:10,066 -- 00:12:12,330
How many Red Bulls
did she drink?
215
00:12:12,433 -- 00:12:14,424
About the same as
me--nine or ten.
216
00:12:14,533 -- 00:12:16,797
One, two, three, four.
217
00:12:16,899 -- 00:12:19,130
One, two, three, four.
218
00:12:19,233 -- 00:12:20,700
One--ooh!
219
00:12:25,799 -- 00:12:28,030
No-no-no-no-no-no! PooPoo.
220
00:12:28,133 -- 00:12:32,229
No, honey. That's a vibrator.
221
00:12:32,333 -- 00:12:34,028
Without my guidance...
222
00:12:34,133 -- 00:12:37,159
girls look for love in
all the wrong places.
223
00:12:37,266 -- 00:12:40,167
lt's called the Platapussy.
224
00:12:40,266 -- 00:12:42,666
What is a Platapussy, please?
225
00:12:42,766 -- 00:12:44,233
Well... No-no-no.
226
00:12:44,333 -- 00:12:47,962
lt's okay, it won't hurt you.
227
00:12:48,066 -- 00:12:49,966
Who thinks it's time for PooPoo
228
00:12:50,066 -- 00:12:52,159
to meet her special little friend?
229
00:12:52,266 -- 00:12:55,326
- Ooh, l do.
- Right here.
230
00:12:55,433 -- 00:12:59,267
Well, it is an important
American tradition.
231
00:12:59,366 -- 00:13:01,197
Come on, sweetie.
232
00:13:01,299 -- 00:13:02,995
- Bye!
- Bye!
233
00:13:03,100 -- 00:13:07,036
- Bye.
- Have a good time!
234
00:13:07,133 -- 00:13:10,796
No! No! No!
235
00:13:10,899 -- 00:13:13,528
Going at it like a little
hamster in there.
236
00:13:13,633 -- 00:13:19,162
- Yes! Yes! Oh! Oh!
- Poo! Poo! Poo! Poo! Poo!
237
00:13:19,266 -- 00:13:20,665
USA!
238
00:13:20,766 -- 00:13:22,495
Oh! l love this country.
239
00:13:22,600 -- 00:13:26,195
Oh! Ah, ah, ah!
240
00:13:26,299 -- 00:13:27,858
Go, America!
241
00:13:33,166 -- 00:13:36,101
l like this new
American Tradition.
242
00:13:48,433 -- 00:13:51,664
Let's check those
bad boys out.
243
00:13:51,766 -- 00:13:53,734
- Ready?
- Oh, yeah.
244
00:13:56,000 -- 00:13:57,797
Look over here.
245
00:14:12,000 -- 00:14:15,697
A time-honored college tradition
is ignoring the three-way...
246
00:14:15,799 -- 00:14:18,132
in the bathroom
stall behind you.
247
00:14:18,233 -- 00:14:21,828
How much does he wish these
lips were in that stall with him?
248
00:14:30,366 -- 00:14:33,335
What are you doing?
249
00:14:33,433 -- 00:14:36,834
My dog is such a perv.
l love it.
250
00:14:35,933 -- 00:14:37,662
Mmm. Now l'm craving sushi.
251
00:14:37,766 -- 00:14:39,290
Moshi Moshi.
252
00:14:49,799 -- 00:14:50,858
Paging Plumber Jones.
253
00:14:50,966 -- 00:14:52,365
Plumber Jones.
254
00:14:52,466 -- 00:14:55,902
What is the problem? Over.
255
00:14:56,000 -- 00:14:58,332
There's a pipe blockage
in the girl's bathroom.
256
00:14:58,433 -- 00:15:00,264
We need you to
go check it out.
257
00:15:00,366 -- 00:15:01,594
This problem is solved.
258
00:15:01,700 -- 00:15:03,634
Signing off.
259
00:15:03,733 -- 00:15:08,727
Son, l realize you always wanted
to be a plumber like your old man.
260
00:15:08,833 -- 00:15:14,294
As long as people remain full of
shit, we'll have job security.
261
00:15:14,399 -- 00:15:15,526
Stay here.
262
00:15:21,033 -- 00:15:22,261
l'm coming!
263
00:15:26,066 -- 00:15:27,727
lt's a lovely smile, isn't it?
264
00:15:27,833 -- 00:15:30,427
Now, cleanliness is
next to godliness.
265
00:15:30,533 -- 00:15:33,127
l have been supervisor of this
dorm for over 27 years...
266
00:15:33,233 -- 00:15:35,861
and l take personal pride in
maintaining a sanitary
267
00:15:35,966 -- 00:15:37,729
and a wholesome environment.
268
00:15:37,833 -- 00:15:40,324
The rules of the dormitory
are very simple.
269
00:15:40,433 -- 00:15:42,867
One: Although this is
a coed college...
270
00:15:42,966 -- 00:15:45,298
this is not a coed dormitory.
271
00:15:45,399 -- 00:15:47,800
Any sexual touching
is forbidden.
272
00:15:47,899 -- 00:15:51,165
Two: a good student
is a clean student...
273
00:15:51,266 -- 00:15:53,427
and that must be reflected
in their environment.
274
00:15:55,233 -- 00:15:56,860
What is wrong with you?
275
00:15:56,966 -- 00:15:59,958
l gotta pee so bad my
back teeth are floating.
276
00:16:00,066 -- 00:16:01,533
Lucky there's a
potty right here.
277
00:16:03,533 -- 00:16:05,296
Hurry. We don't
want any accidents.
278
00:16:05,400 -- 00:16:08,301
Sit on the paper if
you are going to sit.
279
00:16:24,333 -- 00:16:26,733
l think she needs
more toilet paper.
280
00:16:26,833 -- 00:16:27,765
Help!
281
00:16:27,866 -- 00:16:30,426
Go, go! Hurry!
282
00:16:30,533 -- 00:16:32,091
l'm going down the gurgler.
283
00:16:32,199 -- 00:16:34,100
Grab her legs.
284
00:16:34,199 -- 00:16:36,532
Just hold on.
285
00:16:36,633 -- 00:16:38,396
l don't want to die.
286
00:16:38,500 -- 00:16:41,697
Oh, sweet Jesus, do not
Iet me die in here.
287
00:16:45,799 -- 00:16:48,530
l'm stuck, and the
toilet's eating me.
288
00:16:50,833 -- 00:16:54,701
- Can you please hurry up?
- We're gonna get you outta there.
289
00:16:54,799 -- 00:16:56,028
You hang on.
290
00:17:02,266 -- 00:17:03,790
Oh, no!
291
00:17:03,900 -- 00:17:06,164
lt's a 10.2 on the shitter scale!
292
00:17:06,266 -- 00:17:07,858
lt's never gone this high before!
293
00:17:07,966 -- 00:17:10,196
l have no idea what that means.
294
00:17:11,999 -- 00:17:17,370
Everybody run!
295
00:17:17,466 -- 00:17:19,229
What the hell is wrong
with that man?
296
00:17:19,333 -- 00:17:21,858
Get down!
297
00:17:25,300 -- 00:17:26,562
Oh, shit!
298
00:17:30,066 -- 00:17:31,727
Oh, my god!
299
00:17:44,499 -- 00:17:47,901
l am closing down
this dormitory.
300
00:17:47,999 -- 00:17:51,060
All of you get out!
301
00:17:57,866 -- 00:18:02,200
lt's just like when l used to live
next to the methane plant.
302
00:18:02,300 -- 00:18:04,234
Please step back. We just had
a plumbing emergency....
303
00:18:04,333 -- 00:18:06,767
causing the fat girl
to go sky high.
304
00:18:06,866 -- 00:18:09,198
Strangely we found a
Dolce & Gabbana top...
305
00:18:09,300 -- 00:18:10,597
stuffed down the pipes.
306
00:18:10,699 -- 00:18:11,894
Holy shit.
307
00:18:11,999 -- 00:18:13,262
This stuff happens all the time.
308
00:18:13,366 -- 00:18:14,390
There's nothing to see here.
309
00:18:14,499 -- 00:18:16,434
School'll take care of
all your bathroom needs.
310
00:18:16,533 -- 00:18:18,524
Why does it smell
like hot ass?
311
00:18:18,633 -- 00:18:21,158
That would be the
gas escaping.
312
00:18:21,266 -- 00:18:23,234
So where are we gonna
stay 'til it gets fixed?
313
00:18:23,333 -- 00:18:25,460
School has arranged
for housing vouchers.
314
00:18:25,566 -- 00:18:28,626
l can't believe the school is
only giving us 200 a month.
315
00:18:28,733 -- 00:18:31,531
You can't even get a
cardboard box for that.
316
00:18:31,633 -- 00:18:33,601
What if we pool all our money?
317
00:18:33,699 -- 00:18:37,397
Don't look at me, guys. l'm still
saving up for ass implants.
318
00:18:37,499 -- 00:18:40,799
There's nothing affordable unless
you commute from the swamp.
319
00:18:40,900 -- 00:18:42,629
Hey, girls.
320
00:18:42,733 -- 00:18:44,564
What about a sorority?
321
00:18:44,666 -- 00:18:47,931
Hey, great idea. A sorority.
322
00:18:48,033 -- 00:18:49,967
That's like flypaper
for horny guys.
323
00:18:50,066 -- 00:18:51,363
Yeah.
324
00:18:51,466 -- 00:18:52,956
lf we all did it
together, it'd be fun.
325
00:18:53,066 -- 00:18:54,192
l don't know, Max.
326
00:18:54,300 -- 00:18:57,098
l don't think l'm really down
with the whole sorority thing.
327
00:18:57,199 -- 00:19:01,762
Aren't sororities supposed to be
about friendships and bonding?
328
00:19:01,866 -- 00:19:04,391
We could at least check it out.
329
00:19:04,499 -- 00:19:08,027
lt's either that or a commute
from the swamp.
330
00:19:08,133 -- 00:19:10,624
There are so many
temptations out there...
331
00:19:10,733 -- 00:19:13,497
like drugs, alcohol, and boys.
332
00:19:13,600 -- 00:19:16,467
l'd like to introduce you
to a different kind of boy.
333
00:19:16,566 -- 00:19:18,158
l think you're really
gonna like him.
334
00:19:18,266 -- 00:19:20,962
He's smart, he's funny,
and he's really cool.
335
00:19:21,066 -- 00:19:22,328
The coolest.
336
00:19:22,433 -- 00:19:25,334
His name is Jesus, and he just
wants to hang with you guys.
337
00:19:25,433 -- 00:19:27,765
Welcome to Kappa!
338
00:19:30,800 -- 00:19:33,826
Can l ask a question?
339
00:19:33,933 -- 00:19:35,628
Was he circumcised?
340
00:19:35,733 -- 00:19:37,894
l mean, he's a Jew,
but he's a Christian.
341
00:19:37,999 -- 00:19:39,524
What's the deal with that?
342
00:19:44,199 -- 00:19:46,293
No, l, uh...
343
00:19:49,133 -- 00:19:51,465
Very nice to meet you.
344
00:19:51,566 -- 00:19:52,999
They're dykes.
345
00:19:54,633 -- 00:19:56,999
l love curry fish.
346
00:19:57,100 -- 00:20:00,558
l think we've taken up enough
of these ladies' valuable time.
347
00:20:00,666 -- 00:20:04,329
Where you going?
We're gonna play spin the bottle!
348
00:20:04,433 -- 00:20:06,697
You guys can pledge if you want.
349
00:20:06,800 -- 00:20:08,461
We only have one rule.
350
00:20:08,566 -- 00:20:12,058
lf you're gonna kill yourselves,
make sure you tell us in advance.
351
00:20:12,166 -- 00:20:14,293
So we can plan the party.
352
00:20:14,400 -- 00:20:16,630
Yeah.
353
00:20:16,733 -- 00:20:19,566
Love what you've
done with the place.
354
00:20:19,666 -- 00:20:22,726
Very cozy.
355
00:20:22,833 -- 00:20:27,463
Once you cross the doors at Phi
Iota Gamma, you will never again
356
00:20:27,566 -- 00:20:30,797
have to worry about what to
wear in order to be accepted.
357
00:20:33,666 -- 00:20:35,258
Big hug!
358
00:20:35,366 -- 00:20:37,857
Oh, my god.
359
00:20:37,966 -- 00:20:39,627
We're so out of here.
360
00:20:39,733 -- 00:20:41,325
No, girls., come back.
361
00:20:41,433 -- 00:20:44,027
Please. The sisterhood needs you.
362
00:21:05,866 -- 00:21:08,027
# One, two, three four #
363
00:21:08,133 -- 00:21:11,625
# l did something last night
that you don't know #
364
00:21:11,733 -- 00:21:14,133
Hey, it's the madman.
365
00:21:14,233 -- 00:21:16,463
- Check it, dog.
- Yeah, what up?
366
00:21:16,566 -- 00:21:19,262
Listen. Huge party at
the Gamma's house.
367
00:21:19,366 -- 00:21:21,630
You're going.
Don't say nothing, all right?
368
00:21:21,733 -- 00:21:24,861
You know l'm gonna
sign that check, dog.
369
00:21:28,266 -- 00:21:30,325
Check you later, dude.
370
00:21:30,433 -- 00:21:33,732
# If only l could tell you
one, two, three, four #
371
00:21:33,833 -- 00:21:35,858
Oh, snap!
372
00:21:35,966 -- 00:21:37,490
Rappers!
373
00:21:37,600 -- 00:21:39,067
Chicks love rappers, right?
374
00:21:39,166 -- 00:21:41,259
Yeah, yeah. In those videos
they always got bitches.
375
00:21:41,366 -- 00:21:42,765
Bitches and hoes.
376
00:21:42,866 -- 00:21:43,798
Check this out.
377
00:21:43,900 -- 00:21:45,891
Yo, yo, you're cold.
You're old.
378
00:21:45,999 -- 00:21:49,595
Your mom's got mold. Her teeth
are gold, and brown and...
379
00:21:49,699 -- 00:21:52,396
That didn't rhyme.
l'm gonna check that out.
380
00:21:52,499 -- 00:21:54,161
l'm gonna fix that,
but it's gonna be good.
381
00:21:54,266 -- 00:21:54,994
Yeah.
382
00:21:56,533 -- 00:21:59,093
What's crackin' there, baby?
We're in South Beach...
383
00:21:59,199 -- 00:22:02,692
where it's so hot the girls
get undressed naturally.
384
00:22:11,133 -- 00:22:12,862
l was thinking about
taking a swim...
385
00:22:12,966 -- 00:22:15,901
but now i'll have to drain
and disinfect the pool.
386
00:22:19,633 -- 00:22:20,793
What?
387
00:22:20,900 -- 00:22:23,664
ls everyone from
MySpace in my pool?
388
00:22:23,766 -- 00:22:25,495
Oh, my God.
389
00:22:25,600 -- 00:22:29,536
l know for a fact that
girl has syphilis.
390
00:22:29,633 -- 00:22:31,794
She's so beautiful.
391
00:22:31,900 -- 00:22:34,391
l'm gonna pull a muscle if l
have to keep smiling like this.
392
00:22:34,499 -- 00:22:36,695
l heard her dad
is a billionaire.
393
00:22:36,800 -- 00:22:38,859
l heard her dad bought France.
394
00:22:38,966 -- 00:22:41,298
Have you seen her boyfriend?
He's hot.
395
00:22:44,533 -- 00:22:47,366
Clue, what's up?
Howsa howsa?
396
00:22:47,466 -- 00:22:49,263
Who let that loser in here?
397
00:22:49,366 -- 00:22:51,334
Big-ass titties for ya!
398
00:22:51,433 -- 00:22:52,764
That's hot.
399
00:22:52,866 -- 00:22:55,630
Aw, man.
400
00:22:55,733 -- 00:22:58,725
This is embarrassing.
401
00:22:58,833 -- 00:23:02,496
lf l was a real queen, l'd have
that dickless wonder beheaded.
402
00:23:02,600 -- 00:23:05,262
Speaking of dickless.
403
00:23:05,366 -- 00:23:07,197
Why do you have always
have to bring Dax here?
404
00:23:07,300 -- 00:23:08,597
Baby.
405
00:23:08,699 -- 00:23:10,634
Princess.
406
00:23:10,733 -- 00:23:12,530
Dax is my boy.
407
00:23:12,633 -- 00:23:17,195
We go way back, like... car seats.
408
00:23:17,300 -- 00:23:19,825
That is so corny.
409
00:23:19,933 -- 00:23:21,662
Where you going?
410
00:23:21,766 -- 00:23:23,825
Downstairs.
411
00:23:23,933 -- 00:23:25,867
l have people waiting for me.
412
00:23:25,966 -- 00:23:27,661
Come here for a sec, baby.
413
00:23:27,766 -- 00:23:29,563
l got something l
want to show you.
414
00:23:29,666 -- 00:23:34,228
And it rhymes with ''my renis.''
415
00:23:34,333 -- 00:23:36,665
And keep my public waiting?
416
00:23:36,766 -- 00:23:38,324
Unlikely, Derek.
417
00:23:38,433 -- 00:23:39,764
Come on, baby.
418
00:23:39,866 -- 00:23:41,766
We haven't hooked
up in like a week.
419
00:23:41,866 -- 00:23:44,562
My balls miss your chin.
420
00:23:53,199 -- 00:23:56,260
You know l can't
resist Little Derek.
421
00:23:56,366 -- 00:23:57,890
Little?
422
00:23:57,999 -- 00:24:00,332
Tiny. Like a baby's dick.
423
00:24:00,433 -- 00:24:02,594
Who's your baby dick?
424
00:24:02,699 -- 00:24:04,031
- You are.
- Yeah.
425
00:24:04,133 -- 00:24:06,499
- Tie me up, huh?
- Yeah.
426
00:24:06,600 -- 00:24:10,092
- Oh, yeah. Baby.
- Tie it up.
427
00:24:15,800 -- 00:24:17,495
Close your eyes.
428
00:24:17,600 -- 00:24:19,431
Okay.
429
00:24:19,533 -- 00:24:21,728
Oh, baby.
430
00:24:21,833 -- 00:24:24,301
- You like that?
- Yeah.
431
00:24:24,400 -- 00:24:27,335
Oh, baby, you're
driving me crazy.
432
00:24:33,800 -- 00:24:36,030
Oh, Hell no.
The whipped cream?
433
00:24:36,133 -- 00:24:41,366
Baby, you're bringing
out the freak in me.
434
00:24:41,466 -- 00:24:45,061
You be a good little boy
and keep your eyes closed.
435
00:24:45,166 -- 00:24:48,499
l'm gonna keep one eye open,
if you know what l'm sayin'.
436
00:24:48,600 -- 00:24:49,692
Huh?
437
00:24:49,800 -- 00:24:51,768
Just don't open
them or l'll stop.
438
00:24:51,866 -- 00:24:52,992
Okay.
439
00:24:55,366 -- 00:24:57,960
God, you're driving me crazy.
440
00:24:58,066 -- 00:24:59,158
Oh, yeah.
441
00:24:59,266 -- 00:25:01,598
Come over here and get
some of this baby dick.
442
00:25:01,699 -- 00:25:04,897
Close your eyes.
443
00:25:04,999 -- 00:25:07,628
Aw, l hate giving my dog
such a small bone.
444
00:25:07,733 -- 00:25:09,166
Baby.
445
00:25:09,266 -- 00:25:11,666
Oh, god! Feels so good.
446
00:25:13,566 -- 00:25:15,295
You're an animal.
447
00:25:15,400 -- 00:25:16,765
Whoo!
448
00:25:16,866 -- 00:25:18,026
Sandpaper time.
449
00:25:18,133 -- 00:25:19,361
l like that shit.
450
00:25:19,466 -- 00:25:21,195
Ow, that hurts! Do it again.
451
00:25:23,433 -- 00:25:24,957
Oh, my God.
452
00:25:25,066 -- 00:25:26,863
Did you hear his accent?
453
00:25:26,966 -- 00:25:29,958
l know. l love irish accents.
454
00:25:30,066 -- 00:25:33,297
l would totally let him
do me in the butt.
455
00:25:33,400 -- 00:25:35,368
Ew!
456
00:25:35,466 -- 00:25:37,229
Me, too.
457
00:25:37,333 -- 00:25:39,824
lrish accent.
458
00:25:39,933 -- 00:25:41,924
Butt sex.
459
00:25:42,033 -- 00:25:44,797
l need an Irish accent.
460
00:25:44,900 -- 00:25:47,494
World famous DJ Clue,
Desert Storm...
461
00:25:47,600 -- 00:25:49,124
Scott Danimal in the building.
462
00:25:49,233 -- 00:25:52,225
And Gamma Gammas, l would
like introduce your princess,
463
00:25:52,333 -- 00:25:54,733
the lovely Victoria English.
464
00:25:56,666 -- 00:25:58,293
Thank you.
465
00:25:58,400 -- 00:26:00,698
l have an announcement to make.
466
00:26:00,800 -- 00:26:02,529
Gamma Gamma was
selected as a finalist
467
00:26:02,633 -- 00:26:05,227
in FHM's hottest sorority contest.
468
00:26:10,400 -- 00:26:12,732
Everybody have a great
time at my party.
469
00:26:12,833 -- 00:26:15,267
Rock on to DJ Clue.
470
00:26:15,366 -- 00:26:19,894
Yeah, ya'll, let's get the party
started Desert Storm-style, baby!
471
00:26:19,999 -- 00:26:22,434
Someone's getting
their stick licked.
472
00:26:22,533 -- 00:26:24,398
Fuck, that hurt! Do that again.
473
00:26:24,499 -- 00:26:26,764
Oh, yeah.
474
00:26:26,866 -- 00:26:30,165
Don't fucking look at me like that.
475
00:26:30,266 -- 00:26:32,598
Sounds like my mom and dad.
476
00:26:32,699 -- 00:26:34,190
Oh, yeah.
477
00:26:34,300 -- 00:26:36,131
Go under the carriage, baby.
478
00:26:36,233 -- 00:26:40,067
God, baby, that feels
so fucking good.
479
00:26:40,166 -- 00:26:41,190
Oh, yeah.
480
00:26:41,300 -- 00:26:42,597
Oh, my God.
481
00:26:42,699 -- 00:26:44,691
Fuck, that hurt.
482
00:26:44,800 -- 00:26:45,926
Do that again.
483
00:26:46,033 -- 00:26:47,967
Oh, yeah.
484
00:26:48,066 -- 00:26:49,693
Damn.
485
00:26:49,800 -- 00:26:51,461
lt's a fucking dog, dude!
486
00:26:51,566 -- 00:26:52,590
Oh, baby.
487
00:26:52,699 -- 00:26:53,997
Oh, my god.
488
00:26:54,100 -- 00:26:55,795
- Fuck, that hurt!
- That's nasty.
489
00:26:55,900 -- 00:26:57,925
Put your pointer in my
purple starfish, baby.
490
00:26:58,033 -- 00:26:59,364
Oh, yeah, that's it.
491
00:26:59,466 -- 00:27:00,831
l think.
492
00:27:00,933 -- 00:27:02,332
Are you ready for the smoothie?
493
00:27:03,999 -- 00:27:05,433
Come here, gamsie.
494
00:27:05,533 -- 00:27:06,659
Come here.
495
00:27:18,733 -- 00:27:19,859
What's up, derek?
496
00:27:19,966 -- 00:27:21,866
How's your girl? l
mean, your bitch.
497
00:27:21,966 -- 00:27:24,833
l heard they've got a fine cocker
spaniel at the Kappa house.
498
00:27:24,933 -- 00:27:25,922
And you know what?
499
00:27:26,033 -- 00:27:29,992
She likes it ruff!
500
00:27:30,100 -- 00:27:33,297
Say, we're just doggin' with ya.
501
00:27:33,400 -- 00:27:35,595
Yeah, yuk it up all
you want, clowns.
502
00:27:35,699 -- 00:27:38,533
'Cause at the end of the
day, l still got Victoria,
503
00:27:38,633 -- 00:27:41,295
and you got fingered by
Father Mulrooney.
504
00:27:43,966 -- 00:27:45,593
Fuck you!
505
00:27:45,699 -- 00:27:47,691
Bro, you gotta leave
your past behind.
506
00:27:49,066 -- 00:27:50,727
That was interesting.
507
00:27:50,833 -- 00:27:53,267
Top o' the mornin' to ya!
508
00:27:53,366 -- 00:27:55,926
l'm an exchange student
from the Emerald Isle.
509
00:27:56,033 -- 00:27:57,295
You're from Ireland?
510
00:27:57,400 -- 00:27:59,425
Aye! That l am--from Ireland.
511
00:27:59,533 -- 00:28:01,296
That's such a coincidence.
She's from Ireland, too.
512
00:28:01,400 -- 00:28:04,130
That's right.
l'm from Galway.
513
00:28:04,233 -- 00:28:06,064
Where you hail from?
514
00:28:06,166 -- 00:28:11,900
Uh, l'm from, uh,
South... Middle Earth.
515
00:28:11,999 -- 00:28:13,865
Nice try, Frodo.
516
00:28:13,966 -- 00:28:15,160
Later.
517
00:28:15,266 -- 00:28:16,392
Wait!
518
00:28:16,499 -- 00:28:17,489
Don't leave yet.
519
00:28:17,600 -- 00:28:19,124
Don't you want to
taste my shillaley?
520
00:28:19,233 -- 00:28:20,564
You're disgustin'.
521
00:28:20,666 -- 00:28:24,158
When l look around this class of
talented students, what do l see?
522
00:28:24,266 -- 00:28:28,862
l see a future of Dolce's,
Gabbana's, Chloe's and Prada's.
523
00:28:28,966 -- 00:28:31,867
lf l wanted to get an
''A'' in fashion class,
524
00:28:31,966 -- 00:28:34,230
l would have walked in naked.
525
00:28:34,333 -- 00:28:41,102
This slow motion helps, so you
can get a good look, you pervs.
526
00:28:41,199 -- 00:28:44,067
So sorry l'm late, Lisa.
527
00:28:44,166 -- 00:28:46,999
The lady doing my
pedicure took forever.
528
00:28:47,100 -- 00:28:49,625
Hi, Victoria. We were just
discussing your work.
529
00:28:52,300 -- 00:28:55,463
- Nice job as always.
- Thank you.
530
00:28:55,566 -- 00:28:59,696
However, l was especially
impressed by the freshness
531
00:28:59,800 -- 00:29:02,030
of this designer's work.
532
00:29:07,266 -- 00:29:09,632
Are those clothes for Muppets?
533
00:29:09,733 -- 00:29:15,330
Now who may l say is
responsible for these?
534
00:29:15,433 -- 00:29:18,834
Gloria Torres.
535
00:29:22,433 -- 00:29:24,401
Great job, Gloria.
536
00:29:24,499 -- 00:29:26,297
Thanks.
537
00:29:26,400 -- 00:29:30,564
Note to self: fire design team.
538
00:29:30,666 -- 00:29:32,930
Check out these freshman.
They're so hot.
539
00:29:33,033 -- 00:29:34,762
Cut it out, man.
You're gonna get me in trouble.
540
00:29:34,866 -- 00:29:36,163
What happened to you, man?
541
00:29:36,266 -- 00:29:37,597
What ever happened to the guy
that fucked Denise Reynolds
542
00:29:37,699 -- 00:29:39,429
in front of her grandparents?
543
00:29:39,533 -- 00:29:41,091
l miss that guy.
544
00:29:41,199 -- 00:29:43,031
l'm still here.
545
00:29:43,133 -- 00:29:45,465
Ugh. Shoot.
546
00:29:45,566 -- 00:29:47,659
Damn.
547
00:29:47,766 -- 00:29:49,063
That's hot.
548
00:29:51,233 -- 00:29:52,962
Damn.
549
00:29:53,066 -- 00:29:54,727
- Think she's hot?
- Who?
550
00:29:54,833 -- 00:29:56,528
That Mexican broad
you were staring at.
551
00:29:56,633 -- 00:29:58,863
Actually, l think
she's Portuguese.
552
00:29:58,966 -- 00:30:00,934
Shut the fuck up, Dax!
553
00:30:01,033 -- 00:30:03,968
And you... you stay
away from that bitch.
554
00:30:09,100 -- 00:30:11,364
Bye.
555
00:30:11,466 -- 00:30:15,368
Daddy, darling, will you do Queen
Victoria the hugest favor?
556
00:30:15,466 -- 00:30:17,866
l need my fashion design
teacher killed.
557
00:30:17,966 -- 00:30:19,797
Oh, really?
558
00:30:19,900 -- 00:30:22,630
Well then l want that
fucking bitch fired.
559
00:30:22,733 -- 00:30:24,030
Thank you, Daddy.
560
00:30:24,133 -- 00:30:25,464
l love you.
561
00:30:25,566 -- 00:30:27,898
# Back home #
562
00:30:27,999 -- 00:30:29,729
# Back home #
563
00:30:29,833 -- 00:30:31,232
You know what, girls?
564
00:30:31,333 -- 00:30:33,767
There is one place that
we haven't tried yet.
565
00:30:39,499 -- 00:30:41,024
Wow.
566
00:30:44,699 -- 00:30:46,224
Gamma Gamma.
567
00:30:46,333 -- 00:30:49,598
Damn, It looks like
some MTV crib shit.
568
00:30:49,699 -- 00:30:51,327
My cooter's tingling.
569
00:30:51,433 -- 00:30:54,834
l think there might
be boys in there.
570
00:30:54,933 -- 00:30:56,798
We need to get a door guy.
571
00:30:56,900 -- 00:30:59,391
Better yet, a human bug zapper.
572
00:30:59,499 -- 00:31:02,526
Oh, my God, that dress is so hot.
573
00:31:02,633 -- 00:31:03,725
Thank you.
574
00:31:03,833 -- 00:31:05,960
That must have cost
hundreds of dollars.
575
00:31:06,066 -- 00:31:08,091
Try thousands of hundreds.
576
00:31:08,199 -- 00:31:11,294
So don't go looking for
it in any Sears catalog.
577
00:31:11,400 -- 00:31:13,630
That's what l meant.
578
00:31:13,733 -- 00:31:15,724
Thousands... hundreds.
579
00:31:17,499 -- 00:31:20,230
Oh, Morgan.
580
00:31:20,333 -- 00:31:23,769
We'd like to pledge
your sorority, please.
581
00:31:23,866 -- 00:31:27,131
lf it's not too much trouble,
l'd like a room with a bidet.
582
00:31:27,233 -- 00:31:30,862
Could you guys hold
on for a second?
583
00:31:30,966 -- 00:31:34,925
l think she likes us.
584
00:31:35,033 -- 00:31:41,233
Someone left a mess on our front
door, and it wants to pledge.
585
00:31:45,066 -- 00:31:48,092
Look at this place.
It's just heaven on earth.
586
00:31:48,199 -- 00:31:50,862
And it's so pink.
587
00:31:50,966 -- 00:31:54,424
We could have one hell
of an orgy in here, gals.
588
00:31:54,533 -- 00:31:56,626
What do you think, girls?
589
00:31:56,733 -- 00:31:59,998
Are they Gamma material?
590
00:32:00,100 -- 00:32:02,159
l think we should let them pledge.
591
00:32:02,266 -- 00:32:03,995
- And you are?
- Kristen.
592
00:32:04,100 -- 00:32:06,568
Kristen Haas.
593
00:32:06,666 -- 00:32:10,568
And why do you think we should
Iet them pledge, Kristen ss?
594
00:32:10,666 -- 00:32:17,128
Because, um... because they
could be our diversity.
595
00:32:17,233 -- 00:32:18,723
Hot.
596
00:32:18,833 -- 00:32:20,460
She's right.
597
00:32:20,566 -- 00:32:23,262
Gamma's about acceptance
and individuality.
598
00:32:23,366 -- 00:32:24,924
Who are we to discriminate?
599
00:32:25,033 -- 00:32:26,557
Bring them in.
600
00:32:26,666 -- 00:32:28,031
Good idea, Kristen Haas.
601
00:32:28,133 -- 00:32:30,124
Nice hair.
602
00:32:30,233 -- 00:32:32,360
Yeah, thanks. Shut the door.
603
00:32:32,466 -- 00:32:36,459
Morgan, can you get the girls
some champagne, please?
604
00:32:41,666 -- 00:32:43,861
l'd like to lick her all over.
605
00:32:43,966 -- 00:32:45,866
l heard about your
housing situation.
606
00:32:45,966 -- 00:32:48,366
lt's so unfortunate.
607
00:32:48,466 -- 00:32:54,029
And that's why we'd like
to offer you an early bid.
608
00:32:54,133 -- 00:32:57,261
Normally we don't let
pledges move right in...
609
00:32:57,366 -- 00:33:00,858
but in your case, l think we're
gonna make an exception.
610
00:33:00,966 -- 00:33:03,457
Why don't you girls go
check out the house.
611
00:33:03,566 -- 00:33:05,363
Let us know by the
end of the night.
612
00:33:14,900 -- 00:33:16,333
l don't know.
613
00:33:16,433 -- 00:33:18,833
You guys really think this
place is right for us?
614
00:33:18,933 -- 00:33:20,230
Are you kidding me?
615
00:33:20,333 -- 00:33:22,961
This is the most beautiful
place l ever seen.
616
00:33:23,066 -- 00:33:25,728
lts beauty puts the
Taj Mahal to shame.
617
00:33:25,833 -- 00:33:28,131
- All right?
- All right. Fuck it.
618
00:33:28,233 -- 00:33:30,030
l'm in.
619
00:33:30,133 -- 00:33:32,226
This place is insane!
620
00:33:37,900 -- 00:33:40,562
Have you ladies come
to a decision yet?
621
00:33:40,666 -- 00:33:42,031
l think we're in!
622
00:33:42,133 -- 00:33:43,760
Welcome to gamma.
623
00:33:43,866 -- 00:33:45,959
Why don't you guys get
changed for dinner?
624
00:33:46,066 -- 00:33:49,524
With their diversity, we
can win the FHM contest.
625
00:33:49,633 -- 00:33:51,863
But they'll never be
Gamma Gammas.
626
00:33:51,966 -- 00:33:54,764
That was a great idea, Kristen.
627
00:33:54,866 -- 00:33:57,027
And if the freak show
make it through hell week?
628
00:33:57,133 -- 00:33:58,964
You're in.
629
00:33:59,066 -- 00:34:00,658
Wait!
630
00:34:00,766 -- 00:34:02,256
l thought l already was in.
631
00:34:02,366 -- 00:34:03,492
Good luck.
632
00:34:03,600 -- 00:34:07,092
Wait. Wait. Wait.
633
00:34:07,199 -- 00:34:10,101
So you tried the rapper
thing, the jackass thing.
634
00:34:10,199 -- 00:34:11,690
- Nothing worked?
- Nothing.
635
00:34:11,800 -- 00:34:13,597
l really liked that Irish thing.
That was good.
636
00:34:13,700 -- 00:34:15,725
l liked it, too. l just don't get it.
637
00:34:15,833 -- 00:34:18,859
- Maybe l'm ugly.
- No.
638
00:34:18,966 -- 00:34:20,593
A little.
639
00:34:20,700 -- 00:34:22,463
l think she's the one.
640
00:34:22,566 -- 00:34:24,693
What? Who's the one?
641
00:34:24,800 -- 00:34:26,131
Victoria, dick.
642
00:34:26,233 -- 00:34:27,598
Victoria? No, man.
643
00:34:27,700 -- 00:34:29,998
- She's the hottest girl in school.
- She's the craziest girl in school.
644
00:34:30,099 -- 00:34:31,362
Yeah, crazy for me.
645
00:34:31,466 -- 00:34:33,661
Yeah, so crazy for you she
got her dog to blow you.
646
00:34:33,766 -- 00:34:34,755
She's sharing.
647
00:34:34,866 -- 00:34:36,424
So crazy for you that she
emptied your bank account...
648
00:34:36,533 -- 00:34:39,093
and bought a ticket for her
ex-boyfriend to visit her.
649
00:34:39,200 -- 00:34:41,100
They're friends.
l steal her panties.
650
00:34:41,200 -- 00:34:43,225
She puts pictures of
me on the internet.
651
00:34:43,333 -- 00:34:45,733
lt's a relationship.
It's a two way street, dick!
652
00:34:45,833 -- 00:34:47,095
l gotta go.
653
00:34:47,200 -- 00:34:49,065
Victoria's gonna let
me be on top this time.
654
00:34:57,800 -- 00:34:59,529
But there's only one bed.
655
00:34:59,633 -- 00:35:03,296
That's okay, because you ladies
will be sleeping in there.
656
00:35:05,599 -- 00:35:07,830
But don't worry, there's
plenty of room.
657
00:35:07,933 -- 00:35:09,560
Okay? l'll see you at dinner.
658
00:35:09,666 -- 00:35:11,031
- Bye.
- Bye.
659
00:35:18,099 -- 00:35:20,068
We are so flattered...
660
00:35:20,166 -- 00:35:21,997
that you all want to be
a part of Gamma Gamma.
661
00:35:22,099 -- 00:35:24,933
l think that Jackie Onassis
said it best when she said--
662
00:35:25,033 -- 00:35:26,295
Thanks, Morgan.
663
00:35:26,400 -- 00:35:28,300
l think we know what you mean.
664
00:35:28,400 -- 00:35:32,860
You pledges are our future,
and that's why it's important...
665
00:35:32,966 -- 00:35:35,196
you live up to the
highest of standards.
666
00:35:35,300 -- 00:35:40,237
Because we are the
hottest sorority eyer.
667
00:35:40,333 -- 00:35:43,734
So you're asking, if l keep
treating pledges like shit...
668
00:35:43,833 -- 00:35:45,460
won't they just leave?
669
00:35:45,566 -- 00:35:48,399
Will fat chicks ever stop
squeezing into low rise jeans?
670
00:35:48,499 -- 00:35:50,991
Will hairy chicks
ever stop waxing?
671
00:35:51,099 -- 00:35:52,965
No.
672
00:35:53,066 -- 00:35:56,433
The more l humiliate them, the
more they're gonna love me.
673
00:35:56,533 -- 00:35:58,091
Sick, huh?
674
00:36:02,066 -- 00:36:03,465
Gross.
675
00:36:03,566 -- 00:36:05,864
Be sure to lick your
bowls clean, girls.
676
00:36:05,966 -- 00:36:08,400
And don't use your hands.
677
00:36:08,499 -- 00:36:12,903
By the way, that's
not dog food.
678
00:36:12,999 -- 00:36:16,766
lt's yesterday's sushi.
679
00:36:16,866 -- 00:36:18,424
Eat up.
680
00:36:30,999 -- 00:36:33,662
Damn, Maxine, move over.
681
00:36:33,766 -- 00:36:35,165
l'm sorry.
682
00:36:35,266 -- 00:36:36,995
l'm just big boned is all.
683
00:36:37,099 -- 00:36:40,729
FYl, the ass is not a bone.
684
00:36:40,833 -- 00:36:44,132
Babs, would you please
stop rubbing my butt?
685
00:36:44,233 -- 00:36:46,326
l though that was my ass.
686
00:36:52,900 -- 00:36:54,834
Oh, yeah, baby.
687
00:36:54,933 -- 00:36:56,730
Oh, that's good.
688
00:36:56,833 -- 00:36:58,733
Suck on my titties.
689
00:37:01,166 -- 00:37:05,034
Someone seriously has to take
that thing away from her.
690
00:37:11,999 -- 00:37:15,800
Get up, get up,
get up, get up.
691
00:37:15,900 -- 00:37:18,869
Sleep is for gammas,
not pledges.
692
00:37:18,966 -- 00:37:23,369
Now, we have a little sexual
awareness exercise for you guys.
693
00:37:23,466 -- 00:37:25,866
Good morning.
694
00:37:25,966 -- 00:37:30,903
Gammas must learn all aspects of
condom use and proper disposal.
695
00:37:30,999 -- 00:37:32,399
How many of these
do we have to find?
696
00:37:32,499 -- 00:37:33,899
Just 50.
697
00:37:33,999 -- 00:37:36,093
And how many do we have?
698
00:37:36,200 -- 00:37:37,531
Three.
699
00:37:37,633 -- 00:37:39,123
Why don't we just buy
some condoms...
700
00:37:39,233 -- 00:37:41,861
and jerk off some
homeless guys?
701
00:37:41,966 -- 00:37:45,402
Like that didn't occur
to anyone else.
702
00:37:45,499 -- 00:37:47,092
l think l found one.
703
00:37:47,200 -- 00:37:48,326
Where?
704
00:37:48,433 -- 00:37:50,901
Ew. Get it off. Get it off!
705
00:37:50,999 -- 00:37:53,696
Wait! Poops don't lose that one!
706
00:37:53,800 -- 00:37:54,994
Wait! Stop!
707
00:37:55,099 -- 00:37:56,658
We need it! Get back!
708
00:38:10,166 -- 00:38:11,997
Excuse me. Uh, gays?
709
00:38:12,099 -- 00:38:14,534
You think we could
get your condom?
710
00:38:14,633 -- 00:38:18,069
You know, after?
711
00:38:18,166 -- 00:38:19,929
We'll bring you two, sweetie.
712
00:38:20,033 -- 00:38:21,933
Two!
713
00:38:22,033 -- 00:38:23,557
You got it.
714
00:38:43,200 -- 00:38:44,929
You almost gave
me a heart attack.
715
00:38:45,033 -- 00:38:47,058
Sorry.
716
00:38:47,166 -- 00:38:49,760
You're Derek, right?
Victoria's boyfriend.
717
00:38:49,866 -- 00:38:52,391
What the hell are you doing
here at 4:OO in the morning?
718
00:38:52,499 -- 00:38:54,365
We got in a fight.
She kicked me out.
719
00:38:54,466 -- 00:38:55,797
Well, that sucks.
720
00:38:55,900 -- 00:38:57,765
Happens all the time.
721
00:38:57,866 -- 00:38:59,458
She kicks me out, l come
Iay here for a while...
722
00:38:59,566 -- 00:39:01,193
and then l go to my room.
723
00:39:01,300 -- 00:39:02,790
Why do you take it?
724
00:39:02,900 -- 00:39:06,461
l guess l'm addicted and
Victoria's the drug.
725
00:39:06,566 -- 00:39:09,160
That is so refreshingly honest...
726
00:39:09,266 -- 00:39:11,894
and tear-jerkingly pathetic
at the same time.
727
00:39:11,999 -- 00:39:16,334
- Pathetic?
- At the same time.
728
00:39:16,433 -- 00:39:19,664
Not that l'm not enjoying
this conversation...
729
00:39:19,766 -- 00:39:21,063
with you or anything...
730
00:39:21,166 -- 00:39:23,157
but there's something about a
woman wearing rubber gloves...
731
00:39:23,266 -- 00:39:25,257
and carrying tongs at
four in the morning...
732
00:39:25,366 -- 00:39:27,800
that naturally scares
the shit out of a guy.
733
00:39:27,900 -- 00:39:31,028
Victoria has us pledges
collecting used condoms.
734
00:39:31,133 -- 00:39:32,464
Oh, right.
735
00:39:32,566 -- 00:39:34,500
That exercise she
likes to give.
736
00:39:34,599 -- 00:39:36,033
Any luck?
737
00:39:36,133 -- 00:39:37,896
No, not really.
738
00:39:37,999 -- 00:39:40,560
lt's not like l'm trying
all that hard, either.
739
00:39:40,666 -- 00:39:45,569
You know, l may be able to
help you out with this.
740
00:39:45,666 -- 00:39:49,158
- Excuse me?
- No, not like that.
741
00:39:49,266 -- 00:39:50,858
Just come with me.
742
00:39:50,966 -- 00:39:52,297
Wait a minute.
Where are you going?
743
00:39:52,400 -- 00:39:53,833
Just trust me. Come on.
744
00:39:53,933 -- 00:39:55,525
- l'm not gonna bite.
- All right.
745
00:40:46,599 -- 00:40:48,966
No, l want to be on
''The Real World''!
746
00:40:49,066 -- 00:40:52,365
You're all gonna be there.
747
00:40:52,466 -- 00:40:54,661
- Oh, shit! John!
- Derek.
748
00:40:54,766 -- 00:40:56,165
What the fuck are you
doing here, dude?
749
00:40:56,266 -- 00:40:57,358
Derek!
750
00:40:57,466 -- 00:40:58,660
Of course. l'm outta here.
751
00:40:58,766 -- 00:40:59,630
No, wait a second.
752
00:40:59,733 -- 00:41:01,064
John, get the hell out of here.
It's my night.
753
00:41:01,166 -- 00:41:03,100
Hey, l'm sorry.
l live here, too, man.
754
00:41:03,200 -- 00:41:04,633
Uh, my night.
755
00:41:04,733 -- 00:41:06,792
Girls, this is derek.
Introduce yourself.
756
00:41:06,900 -- 00:41:07,867
Hi.
757
00:41:07,966 -- 00:41:09,126
l'm Brenda.
758
00:41:09,233 -- 00:41:10,222
All of you, out!
759
00:41:10,333 -- 00:41:11,925
And he's not even
on ''The Real World.''
760
00:41:12,033 -- 00:41:14,501
What? You're an asshole!
761
00:41:14,599 -- 00:41:16,192
Ow!
762
00:41:16,300 -- 00:41:17,733
Wait. Wait.
763
00:41:17,833 -- 00:41:20,028
l had a callback. Wait, girls.
764
00:41:20,133 -- 00:41:21,327
l apologize.
765
00:41:21,433 -- 00:41:22,627
Okay, what am l doing here?
766
00:41:22,733 -- 00:41:23,825
Oh, right.
767
00:41:25,900 -- 00:41:27,333
Think fast.
768
00:41:27,433 -- 00:41:29,367
Yeah, my roommate John's
a bit of a weirdo.
769
00:41:29,466 -- 00:41:32,094
- He keeps them after he fucks.
- l get the picture.
770
00:41:32,200 -- 00:41:35,328
John, will you get
out of here, man?
771
00:41:35,433 -- 00:41:38,266
Come on. Open up, Baby Dick.
772
00:41:38,366 -- 00:41:41,267
One minute, Angel Tits!
773
00:41:41,366 -- 00:41:43,027
- Get under the bed.
- What!?
774
00:41:43,133 -- 00:41:44,623
Just trust me, okay?
775
00:41:44,733 -- 00:41:46,894
My old look was bad,
so the ka-ka came...
776
00:41:46,999 -- 00:41:50,128
but it's not raining
ka-ka anymore.
777
00:41:50,233 -- 00:41:51,723
- Okay, will you trust me?
- No.
778
00:41:51,833 -- 00:41:53,095
Just get under the bed.
779
00:41:56,666 -- 00:41:59,396
lt's raining... sperm.
780
00:41:59,499 -- 00:42:01,092
Why do l have to
get under the bed?
781
00:42:01,200 -- 00:42:03,100
l think it's raining sperm.
782
00:42:03,200 -- 00:42:05,896
Open the door immediately,
or i'll tell everyone.
783
00:42:07,300 -- 00:42:09,530
lt is raining sperm.
784
00:42:09,633 -- 00:42:13,626
Open the door.
Come on, Baby Dick.
785
00:42:13,733 -- 00:42:15,997
- Victoria.
- Hi, Baby Dick.
786
00:42:16,099 -- 00:42:17,590
l missed you.
787
00:42:20,366 -- 00:42:21,958
Put this on, now.
788
00:42:22,066 -- 00:42:23,397
Just this.
789
00:42:23,499 -- 00:42:26,094
No. l'm not gonna do it.
790
00:42:26,200 -- 00:42:28,964
l'm not gonna be your little
boy toy anymore, okay?
791
00:42:29,066 -- 00:42:31,091
l'm not gonna be your
little sex slave anymore.
792
00:42:31,200 -- 00:42:34,192
l'm sta... l'm standing up
for myself this time...
793
00:42:34,300 -- 00:42:35,733
and l'm not gonna do it.
794
00:42:35,833 -- 00:42:41,203
Oh, really? How about now?
795
00:42:41,300 -- 00:42:42,892
Never mind.
796
00:42:46,133 -- 00:42:48,363
l'm sportin' wood.
797
00:42:48,466 -- 00:42:50,696
Oh, my god! Blow my rooster!
798
00:42:50,800 -- 00:42:52,734
You're such a hot tool.
799
00:42:52,833 -- 00:42:55,199
Screw me, baby.
800
00:42:55,300 -- 00:42:57,495
Pull out your tape
MeftSU re n OW.
801
00:42:57,599 -- 00:42:58,999
Oh, yeah. Oh, my.
802
00:42:59,099 -- 00:43:00,965
Oh, yeah.
803
00:43:01,066 -- 00:43:03,500
Nail me.
804
00:43:03,599 -- 00:43:05,329
Oh, yeah. Oh, god.
805
00:43:05,433 -- 00:43:09,028
l'm gonna tile your house.
806
00:43:09,133 -- 00:43:10,532
Jackhammer.
807
00:43:10,633 -- 00:43:11,827
Rub it.
808
00:43:11,933 -- 00:43:13,264
Oh, my god.
809
00:43:13,366 -- 00:43:14,731
Feels so good.
810
00:43:14,833 -- 00:43:16,801
Take me to the
construction site!
811
00:43:24,499 -- 00:43:27,128
Nail me, baby. Nail me.
812
00:43:27,233 -- 00:43:28,928
Raise my roof, baby.
813
00:43:29,033 -- 00:43:30,057
Oh, yeah.
814
00:43:44,966 -- 00:43:49,630
Bad-ass sex every night, sweet
pledge torture every day.
815
00:43:49,733 -- 00:43:52,759
lt's so good to be me.
816
00:43:57,300 -- 00:44:01,600
Hello, Sister Victoria, Sister
Morgan, Sister Trista.
817
00:44:01,700 -- 00:44:04,464
How do the pledges greet
their Gamma sisters?
818
00:44:09,766 -- 00:44:12,599
Gamma girls are so sweet.
819
00:44:12,700 -- 00:44:15,635
May we please kiss your feet?
820
00:44:15,733 -- 00:44:17,098
Okay.
821
00:44:22,833 -- 00:44:24,767
- Ooh, l kinda like that.
- You may rise.
822
00:44:28,200 -- 00:44:30,794
So, how did your
first mission go?
823
00:44:33,966 -- 00:44:37,800
Trista, count them.
824
00:44:37,900 -- 00:44:41,028
l count six.
825
00:44:41,133 -- 00:44:43,499
Let's hope you do
better on the next one.
826
00:44:43,599 -- 00:44:45,329
We're rooting for you.
827
00:44:45,433 -- 00:44:47,367
You girls make me sick.
828
00:44:47,466 -- 00:44:49,559
Yeah, you're sick.
829
00:44:51,866 -- 00:44:53,424
Wait for me.
830
00:45:02,633 -- 00:45:04,567
Hey, boys, you
know you want it!
831
00:45:04,666 -- 00:45:06,725
l'm the horn of plenty!
832
00:45:10,833 -- 00:45:12,494
Nice legs!
833
00:45:12,599 -- 00:45:13,999
How'd you like me to
fill your diaper?
834
00:45:14,099 -- 00:45:15,362
Hey, boys.
835
00:45:15,466 -- 00:45:17,798
Mommy needs a diaper change.
836
00:45:22,833 -- 00:45:26,633
Part of becoming a gamma
is learning sophistication.
837
00:45:26,733 -- 00:45:28,564
Like mother here.
838
00:45:30,900 -- 00:45:34,427
And part of being
sophisticated is knowing...
839
00:45:34,533 -- 00:45:40,665
how to properly entertain
nice, young gentlemen.
840
00:45:40,766 -- 00:45:42,393
Oh, my God.
841
00:45:42,499 -- 00:45:43,762
Make with the rub-a-dub.
842
00:45:43,866 -- 00:45:46,232
We were promised a
sensual foot experience.
843
00:45:46,333 -- 00:45:48,597
l will burn in hell first.
844
00:45:48,700 -- 00:45:53,228
l really want to be nice, but the
smell is just... unbearable.
845
00:45:53,333 -- 00:45:55,324
You like that, baby?
846
00:45:55,433 -- 00:45:56,957
You like that?
847
00:45:57,066 -- 00:45:59,660
Mommy's gonna make you a man.
848
00:45:59,766 -- 00:46:01,563
Whoo!
849
00:46:01,666 -- 00:46:03,566
Okay.
850
00:46:03,666 -- 00:46:05,531
Who's next?
851
00:46:08,933 -- 00:46:12,369
Oh, yeah!
852
00:46:12,466 -- 00:46:16,300
lf you see, see, see, see seamen.
853
00:46:16,400 -- 00:46:18,163
Won't you free, free,
free, free them?
854
00:46:19,066 -- 00:46:21,660
l'm such a humanitarian...
855
00:46:21,766 -- 00:46:26,328
so l decided to mark her
friends up, Victoria-style.
856
00:46:26,433 -- 00:46:27,900
You don't have to do this, Max.
857
00:46:27,999 -- 00:46:29,627
l'm all right.
858
00:46:29,733 -- 00:46:32,133
Wow.
859
00:46:32,233 -- 00:46:34,133
What do we have here?
860
00:46:34,233 -- 00:46:35,359
Mother?
861
00:46:39,633 -- 00:46:42,602
These girls were
such a mess...
862
00:46:42,700 -- 00:46:45,863
it was easier to mark the
places that were okay.
863
00:46:45,966 -- 00:46:48,025
- No!
- You can do it.
864
00:46:48,133 -- 00:46:49,657
Give me that!
865
00:46:49,766 -- 00:46:51,427
Who the hell do
you think you are?
866
00:46:51,533 -- 00:46:53,933
Excuse me?
867
00:46:54,033 -- 00:46:56,627
You can't treat us like this.
868
00:46:56,733 -- 00:46:58,564
We're just trying to help you.
869
00:46:58,666 -- 00:47:00,361
lt's bullshit.
870
00:47:00,466 -- 00:47:02,696
You and your fembots just
want to make fun of us.
871
00:47:02,800 -- 00:47:04,893
Well, mission accomplished.
872
00:47:04,999 -- 00:47:06,399
You know what?
873
00:47:06,499 -- 00:47:08,434
l quit.
874
00:47:08,533 -- 00:47:14,165
Sayonara, puta.
875
00:47:14,266 -- 00:47:17,201
Three days before initiation,
and what does she do?
876
00:47:17,300 -- 00:47:19,791
Quits. Know why?
877
00:47:19,900 -- 00:47:22,300
Because she doesn't have the
dedication to be a Gamma.
878
00:47:22,400 -- 00:47:24,197
Anyone else want to drop out?
879
00:47:24,300 -- 00:47:26,530
Yes. If one goes, we all go.
880
00:47:26,633 -- 00:47:27,861
Yeah.
881
00:47:30,666 -- 00:47:32,531
They walked out on me.
882
00:47:32,633 -- 00:47:34,464
l'll get those bitches.
883
00:47:34,566 -- 00:47:36,625
Victoria... l'm still in, right?
884
00:47:36,733 -- 00:47:39,429
Kristen, you're my favorite,
and l love you, but she bailed.
885
00:47:39,533 -- 00:47:41,125
Sorry, maybe next year.
886
00:47:41,233 -- 00:47:43,531
What if l can get her back?
887
00:47:43,633 -- 00:47:46,602
lf you can get her back...
888
00:47:46,700 -- 00:47:49,498
then l'd say welcome back
to Gamma Gamma.
889
00:47:53,366 -- 00:47:55,561
Okay.
890
00:47:55,666 -- 00:47:57,827
Those nerds should have known
not to go to a real estate agent...
891
00:47:57,933 -- 00:47:59,594
that also sold churros.
892
00:47:59,700 -- 00:48:01,224
Allow me to introduce myself.
893
00:48:01,333 -- 00:48:02,493
My name is Buford Gomez.
894
00:48:02,599 -- 00:48:04,500
l'm a former border patrol agent.
895
00:48:04,599 -- 00:48:06,431
l used to put the
panic to Hispanic.
896
00:48:06,533 -- 00:48:08,262
l put the pepper spray to Jos.
897
00:48:08,366 -- 00:48:10,664
l put the baton to Juan.
That's all behind me.
898
00:48:10,766 -- 00:48:12,028
l'm helping people now.
899
00:48:12,133 -- 00:48:14,363
Look at you, look,
you soul sister.
900
00:48:14,466 -- 00:48:16,661
Them braids real? That's amazing.
901
00:48:16,766 -- 00:48:18,529
Okay, you must be
the Appalachian.
902
00:48:18,633 -- 00:48:22,660
Like a like a whack mohawk
thing going on there.
903
00:48:22,766 -- 00:48:25,564
You're like a little
redneck peacock.
904
00:48:25,666 -- 00:48:27,759
What the hell
happened there, girl?
905
00:48:27,866 -- 00:48:29,595
l don't know if
l'm comin' or goin'.
906
00:48:29,700 -- 00:48:31,361
How you doin'?
907
00:48:31,466 -- 00:48:32,694
You don't eat pork, do you?
908
00:48:32,800 -- 00:48:34,961
l'd like to pork you. Porky Pig.
909
00:48:35,066 -- 00:48:36,966
Whoa, a big girl!
910
00:48:37,066 -- 00:48:38,761
You done beat anorexia!
911
00:48:38,866 -- 00:48:41,767
l'm so glad you're a
strong, healthy girl.
912
00:48:41,866 -- 00:48:45,063
And look at... okay.
You ever been with a man?
913
00:48:45,166 -- 00:48:47,862
You ever been the man?
Never mind.
914
00:48:47,966 -- 00:48:51,493
Buford, can you show us
something we could live in?
915
00:48:51,599 -- 00:48:53,329
Okay, you need
a place to stay.
916
00:48:53,433 -- 00:48:57,460
Got it: Super Pollo Loco.
917
00:48:57,566 -- 00:49:00,160
ls it a boat? Is it a restaurant?
918
00:49:00,266 -- 00:49:01,563
Who cares!?
919
00:49:01,666 -- 00:49:06,729
lt's a hybrid with a history dating
back to pre-revolutionary Cuba.
920
00:49:06,833 -- 00:49:08,460
Smell the black
beans and rice.
921
00:49:08,566 -- 00:49:09,897
Taste the tostitos.
922
00:49:09,999 -- 00:49:11,228
Babalo, babalo, babalo.
923
00:49:11,333 -- 00:49:14,598
They don't make structures
like this anymore.
924
00:49:14,700 -- 00:49:16,861
l'm not sure they ever did.
925
00:49:16,966 -- 00:49:20,231
Two converted sleeping
bedrooms, a dining room...
926
00:49:20,333 -- 00:49:22,858
and a working deep fryer.
927
00:49:22,966 -- 00:49:24,160
Hey, great!
928
00:49:34,400 -- 00:49:36,595
l just wanted to
say that l'm sorry.
929
00:49:36,700 -- 00:49:38,190
l'm not in the mood, Kristen.
930
00:49:38,300 -- 00:49:40,564
Victoria feels really bad
about what happened.
931
00:49:40,666 -- 00:49:42,099
Please.
932
00:49:42,200 -- 00:49:44,430
She thinks you'd be a
really great Gamma.
933
00:49:44,533 -- 00:49:47,331
She told me that.
934
00:49:47,433 -- 00:49:49,560
You're the only reason...
935
00:49:49,666 -- 00:49:52,464
she let the other girls
pledge in the first place.
936
00:49:52,566 -- 00:49:54,193
lt's too late anyway.
937
00:49:57,900 -- 00:50:01,461
You could come back.
938
00:50:01,566 -- 00:50:03,659
Just think about it.
939
00:50:15,033 -- 00:50:16,466
l'm feeling this shit.
940
00:50:16,566 -- 00:50:18,625
l mean, metrosexuals
are where it's at.
941
00:50:18,733 -- 00:50:20,428
''Queer Eye'' is the shit.
942
00:50:20,533 -- 00:50:22,160
You got the queer
part down good.
943
00:50:22,266 -- 00:50:23,699
Big time.
944
00:50:26,066 -- 00:50:27,158
You know what?
945
00:50:27,266 -- 00:50:28,756
Screw you guys, okay?
946
00:50:28,866 -- 00:50:31,801
See who's laughing when l'm
getting laid in five minutes.
947
00:50:31,900 -- 00:50:33,561
By a dude.
948
00:50:33,666 -- 00:50:35,361
l think the shirt works.
949
00:50:35,466 -- 00:50:37,491
There's no way
it's gonna work.
950
00:50:37,599 -- 00:50:40,569
Excuse me, could l
get an apple martini?
951
00:50:40,666 -- 00:50:42,258
Thanks.
952
00:50:42,366 -- 00:50:44,197
l'm Jessica.
953
00:50:44,300 -- 00:50:45,392
Hey, Jessica.
954
00:50:45,499 -- 00:50:47,468
l'm Dax.
955
00:50:47,566 -- 00:50:50,228
Nice and fruity.
956
00:50:50,333 -- 00:50:52,858
So have you
got a boyfriend?
957
00:50:53,999 -- 00:50:56,127
- No! No!
- l'm sorry, l thought you--
958
00:50:56,233 -- 00:50:59,361
No, see, l'm not, um...
959
00:50:59,466 -- 00:51:06,895
Um, l mean, l'm not
speaking to him right now.
960
00:51:06,999 -- 00:51:09,764
l caught him with another guy.
961
00:51:10,666 -- 00:51:13,635
- Really?
- Yeah.
962
00:51:13,733 -- 00:51:16,361
Man, that sucks.
Guys can be such assholes.
963
00:51:16,466 -- 00:51:18,661
You're preaching
to the choir, sister.
964
00:51:18,766 -- 00:51:21,667
The gay man's choir,
which l'm a member of.
965
00:51:24,700 -- 00:51:27,191
Can l ask you a
personal question?
966
00:51:27,299 -- 00:51:30,736
Ten inches, and that's
after a cold shower.
967
00:51:30,833 -- 00:51:34,098
Have you ever been
with a woman?
968
00:51:34,200 -- 00:51:35,667
Oh, l...
969
00:51:49,233 -- 00:51:51,292
Have you ever kissed a girl?
970
00:51:51,399 -- 00:51:53,163
Here.
971
00:51:53,266 -- 00:51:55,393
l want you take this.
972
00:51:55,500 -- 00:51:58,230
lt enhances sexual experience.
973
00:51:58,333 -- 00:52:00,528
You take it orally.
974
00:52:00,633 -- 00:52:02,897
That's right. l do.
975
00:52:11,899 -- 00:52:14,300
How does that feel?
976
00:52:14,399 -- 00:52:17,961
lt's okay.
977
00:52:18,066 -- 00:52:20,933
lt doesn't feel wrong?
978
00:52:21,033 -- 00:52:25,470
Yeah, it does, but it's
the right kind of wrong.
979
00:52:33,700 -- 00:52:35,463
lt's okay.
980
00:52:43,033 -- 00:52:44,762
l'll show you what to do.
981
00:52:50,766 -- 00:52:52,199
Oh, wow.
982
00:52:52,299 -- 00:52:54,598
You're really hard.
983
00:52:54,700 -- 00:52:57,828
Oh, my God!
984
00:52:57,933 -- 00:53:01,334
l've been living a lie!
985
00:53:01,433 -- 00:53:07,429
l'm a straight man trapped in a
gay, homosexual's fabulous body!
986
00:53:07,533 -- 00:53:09,558
Set me free, child!
987
00:53:09,666 -- 00:53:11,224
Set me free!
988
00:53:11,333 -- 00:53:14,461
Hallelujah!
989
00:53:14,566 -- 00:53:16,363
Victoria's dog is missing!
990
00:53:16,466 -- 00:53:18,331
Victoria's dog is missing!
991
00:53:18,433 -- 00:53:19,957
Get the cock out of your mouth!
992
00:53:20,066 -- 00:53:21,328
Gamsie?
993
00:53:21,433 -- 00:53:22,593
Before it starts
running, right now!
994
00:53:22,700 -- 00:53:23,689
Wait a second.
995
00:53:23,799 -- 00:53:25,131
No, no. You can't go.
996
00:53:25,233 -- 00:53:26,791
You gotta help me
figure out who l am!
997
00:53:26,899 -- 00:53:28,162
l still don't know
if l'm gay or not.
998
00:53:28,266 -- 00:53:29,528
l'm sorry. Maybe another time.
999
00:53:29,633 -- 00:53:30,998
No, don't go.
1000
00:53:31,100 -- 00:53:32,431
Please, don't go!
1001
00:53:32,533 -- 00:53:34,524
Please, don't go!
1002
00:53:34,633 -- 00:53:36,692
Come back! ! !
1003
00:53:36,799 -- 00:53:39,268
l want you to take this.
1004
00:53:39,366 -- 00:53:43,632
lt enhances sexual experience.
1005
00:53:52,299 -- 00:53:54,291
Hi.
1006
00:53:54,399 -- 00:53:58,393
Your bodies are so beautiful.
1007
00:53:58,500 -- 00:54:03,665
Can l touch them?
1008
00:54:03,766 -- 00:54:08,533
Well, well, well.
1009
00:54:08,633 -- 00:54:15,402
lf it isn't Mr. Brad Pitt
ready to invade Troy.
1010
00:54:15,500 -- 00:54:19,334
And by ''Troy,''
l mean my vagina.
1011
00:54:24,266 -- 00:54:25,756
That's right, baby.
1012
00:54:25,866 -- 00:54:28,733
Mamma's got some
brand new bags.
1013
00:54:28,833 -- 00:54:31,666
Why don't you grab a handful?
1014
00:54:36,600 -- 00:54:39,501
What the fuck?
1015
00:54:39,600 -- 00:54:41,227
Morning, lover.
1016
00:54:43,766 -- 00:54:45,324
Hungry?
1017
00:54:45,433 -- 00:54:47,799
Do you want a muffin?
1018
00:54:47,899 -- 00:54:51,301
Do you want butter
or cream cheese?
1019
00:54:55,533 -- 00:54:58,058
Where are my clothes?
1020
00:55:01,733 -- 00:55:04,099
Where's my underwear?
1021
00:55:04,200 -- 00:55:06,464
l ate them.
1022
00:55:08,899 -- 00:55:11,528
No!!!
1023
00:55:13,466 -- 00:55:14,455
Call me.
1024
00:55:22,066 -- 00:55:24,000
- Hey, Gloria.
- Hey, baby.
1025
00:55:24,100 -- 00:55:25,533
Have you seen my mom?
1026
00:55:25,633 -- 00:55:28,864
l think she's back at
the chicken boat.
1027
00:55:28,966 -- 00:55:31,059
- Thanks, Gloria.
- It's all right.
1028
00:55:31,166 -- 00:55:32,656
- Hey, Gloria.
- Mm-hm?
1029
00:55:32,766 -- 00:55:34,097
What's a rim job?
1030
00:55:36,833 -- 00:55:41,896
Um, that's when you have your
tire changed in your car.
1031
00:55:42,000 -- 00:55:43,968
- Thanks, Gloria.
- It's all right.
1032
00:55:44,066 -- 00:55:46,364
- l got worried.
- Me, too.
1033
00:55:46,466 -- 00:55:49,230
- A boy in my class said it was a--
- Oh, never mind!
1034
00:55:49,333 -- 00:55:52,393
He's a bad boy,
and he's wrong.
1035
00:55:52,500 -- 00:55:55,560
Why don't you go
Iook for your mommy?
1036
00:55:55,666 -- 00:55:57,065
- Okay.
- Okay?
1037
00:55:57,166 -- 00:55:58,963
Bye.
1038
00:55:59,066 -- 00:56:00,727
Hey, there you are.
1039
00:56:00,833 -- 00:56:02,767
Been looking all over for you.
1040
00:56:02,866 -- 00:56:06,825
l'm sorry about the other night.
1041
00:56:06,933 -- 00:56:12,565
l do appreciate you
trying to help me out.
1042
00:56:12,666 -- 00:56:17,296
You have a huge
problem, derek.
1043
00:56:17,399 -- 00:56:20,267
You should seriously consider
seeing a shrink or something.
1044
00:56:20,366 -- 00:56:22,300
Do some serious couch time.
1045
00:56:22,399 -- 00:56:23,992
l did warn you.
1046
00:56:24,100 -- 00:56:26,500
True.
1047
00:56:26,600 -- 00:56:28,693
You know what?
1048
00:56:28,799 -- 00:56:30,165
lt doesn't even matter.
1049
00:56:30,266 -- 00:56:31,824
l don't care anymore.
1050
00:56:31,933 -- 00:56:34,265
Gamma Gamma can
kiss my butta butta.
1051
00:56:34,366 -- 00:56:35,993
No, no, no, no.
1052
00:56:36,100 -- 00:56:38,660
You can't quit, 'cause if you
Ieave now, then she wins.
1053
00:56:38,766 -- 00:56:40,927
Wait a minute.
1054
00:56:41,033 -- 00:56:45,197
Why are you taking our
side against her?
1055
00:56:45,299 -- 00:56:47,860
To hell with Victoria.
1056
00:56:47,966 -- 00:56:51,561
What about your addiction?
1057
00:56:51,666 -- 00:56:54,157
l'm cured.
1058
00:56:54,266 -- 00:56:59,294
l found somebody that l
care about so much more.
1059
00:57:03,066 -- 00:57:05,159
We're gonna kiss, aren't we?
1060
00:57:05,266 -- 00:57:07,029
God, l hope so.
1061
00:57:10,333 -- 00:57:13,234
- Oh, my little--
- Promise me something?
1062
00:57:13,333 -- 00:57:15,893
- Anything.
- No more pet names.
1063
00:57:16,000 -- 00:57:20,334
Think of it as step
one of your recovery.
1064
00:57:20,433 -- 00:57:24,631
# Because it's
gonna be beautiful #
1065
00:57:24,733 -- 00:57:26,997
The Kama Sutra was originally
written in Sanskrit...
1066
00:57:27,100 -- 00:57:29,625
by an indian man
called Vatsyayana...
1067
00:57:29,733 -- 00:57:33,134
whose name literally means
''split the bamboo.''
1068
00:57:33,233 -- 00:57:35,292
lmagine, if you will...
1069
00:57:35,399 -- 00:57:37,698
a young man and a young
woman like yourself...
1070
00:57:37,799 -- 00:57:44,205
in the full thrush of a passionate
intensely sexual embrace...
1071
00:57:44,299 -- 00:57:49,738
all being watched by Garuda,
the bird of Vishnu.
1072
00:57:49,833 -- 00:57:54,327
- As those juices...
- Hey, kristen.
1073
00:57:54,433 -- 00:57:56,560
Nice legs.
1074
00:57:59,866 -- 00:58:02,494
What time do they open?
1075
00:58:02,600 -- 00:58:04,363
Disgusting.
1076
00:58:04,466 -- 00:58:07,833
Dude! Great line!
1077
00:58:07,933 -- 00:58:11,562
Que pasa, mommy?
1078
00:58:11,666 -- 00:58:17,298
Trista, Morgan is a total freak.
1079
00:58:17,399 -- 00:58:19,561
She wants to remove her rib.
1080
00:58:19,666 -- 00:58:21,600
Ow, that must really hurt.
How do you know?
1081
00:58:21,700 -- 00:58:23,395
Because l'm IM'ing her right now.
1082
00:58:23,500 -- 00:58:24,797
Wow, that's so great.
1083
00:58:24,899 -- 00:58:25,832
How do you even know that?
1084
00:58:25,933 -- 00:58:28,493
Duh. NetZero, loser.
1085
00:58:28,600 -- 00:58:32,036
Miss English, l'm sorry,
are we bothering you?
1086
00:58:32,133 -- 00:58:33,930
Oh, not at all
Professor Milch'ik.
1087
00:58:34,033 -- 00:58:35,762
Just keep it soft and quiet.
1088
00:58:35,866 -- 00:58:37,026
Thanks.
1089
00:58:37,133 -- 00:58:38,259
Where was i?
1090
00:58:38,366 -- 00:58:39,458
Yes.
1091
00:58:39,566 -- 00:58:41,090
Fruition.
1092
00:58:41,200 -- 00:58:44,226
That woman is bringing that
man to fruition through a series
1093
00:58:44,333 -- 00:58:48,201
of very mysterious and intensely
complex moves called--
1094
00:58:48,299 -- 00:58:50,268
Mysterious? Complex?
1095
00:58:50,366 -- 00:58:51,993
Men are dogs.
1096
00:59:00,933 -- 00:59:02,662
Observe.
1097
00:59:02,766 -- 00:59:04,324
Lights, please.
1098
00:59:07,833 -- 00:59:10,063
Look who's teaching now.
1099
00:59:10,166 -- 00:59:13,329
You like that, don't you?
1100
00:59:13,433 -- 00:59:15,924
Bet you wish l was yours.
1101
00:59:16,033 -- 00:59:18,228
Hot, aren't i?
1102
00:59:21,733 -- 00:59:24,099
What do we have here?
1103
00:59:24,200 -- 00:59:26,794
A little bit of this.
1104
00:59:26,899 -- 00:59:28,561
Yeah.
1105
00:59:32,766 -- 00:59:35,291
And a little bit of that.
1106
00:59:36,099 -- 00:59:38,568
l'm making you
so hot right now.
1107
00:59:38,666 -- 00:59:39,860
Yeah.
1108
00:59:42,233 -- 00:59:45,100
l bet you really wish that
l was your girlfriend.
1109
00:59:46,700 -- 00:59:48,565
Too bad.
1110
01:00:20,966 -- 01:00:23,161
Mystery solved.
1111
01:00:23,266 -- 01:00:25,496
Now let's see what you
guys have learned.
1112
01:00:25,599 -- 01:00:27,431
You.
1113
01:00:27,533 -- 01:00:29,228
Me?
1114
01:00:29,333 -- 01:00:30,527
Come up here.
1115
01:00:34,833 -- 01:00:36,858
What do you want me to do?
1116
01:00:36,966 -- 01:00:38,900
Give it your best shot.
1117
01:00:51,066 -- 01:00:52,761
Okay, girls.
1118
01:00:52,866 -- 01:00:55,096
Here's to life on a
crappy-assed boat.
1119
01:01:01,800 -- 01:01:04,428
l think l'm having
the bed spins,
1120
01:01:04,533 -- 01:01:06,592
and not the good kind.
1121
01:01:06,700 -- 01:01:09,191
lt's the boat.
1122
01:01:09,300 -- 01:01:13,669
Our investment is being
tossed around like a mud hut...
1123
01:01:13,766 -- 01:01:17,429
i n m o n s o o n seas o n .
1124
01:01:17,533 -- 01:01:19,728
You'll get used to it.
1125
01:01:19,833 -- 01:01:23,769
l think l need to bow to
the porcelain goddess.
1126
01:01:23,866 -- 01:01:27,859
Sounds like she's
getting used to it.
1127
01:01:27,966 -- 01:01:31,060
She acts like she's never
been on a roller coaster...
1128
01:01:31,166 -- 01:01:33,066
with a bean burrito
in her belly.
1129
01:01:33,166 -- 01:01:34,258
Oh, crap.
1130
01:01:34,366 -- 01:01:35,856
l think l'm gonna
Iose my lunch.
1131
01:01:35,966 -- 01:01:37,627
Or taken a sip from
someone else's seven-up...
1132
01:01:37,733 -- 01:01:40,031
that they backwashed into.
1133
01:01:40,133 -- 01:01:41,691
Stop it, Gloria.
1134
01:01:41,800 -- 01:01:44,132
You're gonna make me hurl.
1135
01:01:44,233 -- 01:01:45,757
Ooh, you know what's
really gross?
1136
01:01:45,866 -- 01:01:47,390
When you take the
Iast sips of milk...
1137
01:01:47,499 -- 01:01:49,468
and then found out
there was chunks in it.
1138
01:02:04,333 -- 01:02:06,801
The FHM judges were
coming the next day...
1139
01:02:06,900 -- 01:02:08,390
and without those
geeky girls...
1140
01:02:08,499 -- 01:02:10,127
l wouldn't have my diversity.
1141
01:02:10,233 -- 01:02:11,723
l had to get them
back to Gamma.
1142
01:02:11,833 -- 01:02:13,528
So, of course, l
make Kristen do it.
1143
01:02:13,633 -- 01:02:14,691
You ready, Kristen?
1144
01:02:14,800 -- 01:02:17,064
l don't know, Victoria.
1145
01:02:17,166 -- 01:02:18,656
This is pretty fucked up.
1146
01:02:18,766 -- 01:02:21,132
l invite these girls
into my house...
1147
01:02:21,233 -- 01:02:23,997
and they have zero appreciation
for anything l've done.
1148
01:02:24,099 -- 01:02:28,298
And, Kristen,
need l remind you...
1149
01:02:28,400 -- 01:02:31,460
that this entire thing
was your idea?
1150
01:02:31,566 -- 01:02:35,525
You know, normally, l
would ask Morgan to come.
1151
01:02:35,633 -- 01:02:39,034
But there's something
special about you...
1152
01:02:39,133 -- 01:02:41,260
Kristen Haas.
1153
01:02:41,366 -- 01:02:47,100
Something special enough
to be Gamma president.
1154
01:02:47,200 -- 01:02:49,100
What?
1155
01:02:49,200 -- 01:02:51,498
l think you have
what it takes.
1156
01:02:51,599 -- 01:02:54,296
Or at least l
thought l did.
1157
01:02:54,400 -- 01:02:57,699
Now, l'm beginning to
second guess your loyalty.
1158
01:02:57,800 -- 01:02:58,789
No, no, no.
1159
01:02:58,900 -- 01:03:00,925
l'm-l'm loyal.
1160
01:03:01,033 -- 01:03:03,297
Then act like a
future Gamma pres...
1161
01:03:03,400 -- 01:03:06,096
and go and protect
your sisters.
1162
01:03:06,200 -- 01:03:07,462
Go!
1163
01:03:12,700 -- 01:03:14,463
Oh, Gamsie.
1164
01:03:14,566 -- 01:03:16,966
They'll do whatever
we tell them to.
1165
01:03:17,066 -- 01:03:19,762
Well, looks like chicken
boat's going for a swim.
1166
01:03:22,966 -- 01:03:23,864
Oh!
1167
01:03:23,966 -- 01:03:25,024
Oh, no!
1168
01:03:25,133 -- 01:03:27,601
Please don't send me
back to Gamma, Krishna.
1169
01:03:27,700 -- 01:03:29,133
Oh, no.
1170
01:03:29,233 -- 01:03:30,564
Welcome.
1171
01:03:30,666 -- 01:03:31,860
Those evil Gamma bitches
will eat me alive.
1172
01:03:31,966 -- 01:03:33,194
Oh, please no.
1173
01:03:33,300 -- 01:03:34,232
Oh!
1174
01:03:34,333 -- 01:03:35,891
lt's the evilest bitch
of all, Victoria!
1175
01:03:35,999 -- 01:03:37,729
Please, krishna, no!
1176
01:03:37,833 -- 01:03:39,061
No!
1177
01:03:48,099 -- 01:03:49,533
My physics test!
1178
01:03:49,633 -- 01:03:51,100
Motherfucker, shit!
1179
01:03:51,200 -- 01:03:52,792
Shit, motherfucker, shit!
1180
01:03:52,900 -- 01:03:53,764
Ow!
1181
01:03:53,866 -- 01:03:55,026
Fucking cock, man.
1182
01:03:58,800 -- 01:04:00,791
l lost my platapussy.
1183
01:04:04,266 -- 01:04:05,324
Somebody get me a chair.
1184
01:04:05,433 -- 01:04:06,627
l got a signal.
1185
01:04:06,733 -- 01:04:07,631
Fuck!
1186
01:04:07,733 -- 01:04:08,825
lt's gone.
1187
01:04:13,499 -- 01:04:17,231
What in god's
name is that?
1188
01:04:17,333 -- 01:04:19,893
Sure ain't no bird.
1189
01:04:24,499 -- 01:04:26,434
l think we're
being watched.
1190
01:04:26,533 -- 01:04:28,125
Who's watching?
1191
01:04:31,366 -- 01:04:32,526
Who-wee!
1192
01:04:32,633 -- 01:04:35,033
You ladies need
a tug, do ya?
1193
01:04:35,133 -- 01:04:37,294
We'll tug ya.
1194
01:04:37,400 -- 01:04:39,061
l'd love a tug.
1195
01:04:39,166 -- 01:04:40,394
Uh-huh.
1196
01:04:40,499 -- 01:04:41,467
lt's gonna cost
you though.
1197
01:04:41,566 -- 01:04:42,999
A little money up front.
1198
01:04:43,099 -- 01:04:45,568
Plus, Randy here gets to look
through all your clothes.
1199
01:04:45,666 -- 01:04:47,566
Dirty honky.
1200
01:04:47,666 -- 01:04:48,860
What did you say,
you little bitch?
1201
01:04:48,966 -- 01:04:50,695
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
1202
01:04:50,800 -- 01:04:53,769
You motherfucker!
1203
01:04:53,866 -- 01:04:55,857
Oh, my god.
1204
01:04:55,966 -- 01:04:57,092
l swear to god.
1205
01:04:57,200 -- 01:04:58,497
All right, let's get
this boat roped up.
1206
01:04:58,599 -- 01:04:59,328
Come on, ladies.
1207
01:04:59,433 -- 01:05:00,400
Give me some help!
1208
01:05:00,499 -- 01:05:01,831
Let's tow this
motherfucker out of here.
1209
01:05:05,566 -- 01:05:07,363
The boat is leaking.
1210
01:05:07,466 -- 01:05:08,956
We've got nowhere to stay.
1211
01:05:09,066 -- 01:05:10,533
lt looks like we may
have to ask Victoria...
1212
01:05:10,633 -- 01:05:11,827
to take us back.
1213
01:05:11,933 -- 01:05:13,560
Oh, and you can imagine
how excited l am...
1214
01:05:13,666 -- 01:05:15,930
to have that conversation.
1215
01:05:16,033 -- 01:05:18,194
What conversation
might that be, Bitch?
1216
01:05:18,300 -- 01:05:25,229
l, um, l just wanted to
know if l can have
1217
01:05:25,333 -- 01:05:27,267
another chance to come back.
1218
01:05:27,366 -- 01:05:29,425
You think you can just
waltz back in here?
1219
01:05:29,533 -- 01:05:30,431
Yeah.
1220
01:05:30,533 -- 01:05:31,659
Can you waltz?
1221
01:05:36,300 -- 01:05:38,632
So, what do you
think, Kristen?
1222
01:05:38,733 -- 01:05:40,564
Has she learned
her lesson?
1223
01:05:40,666 -- 01:05:42,759
l think so.
1224
01:05:42,866 -- 01:05:45,096
Welcome back to Gamma.
1225
01:05:45,200 -- 01:05:46,724
Yeah!
1226
01:05:46,833 -- 01:05:48,164
Are her nipples hard?
1227
01:05:48,266 -- 01:05:49,528
Wait those are mine.
1228
01:06:00,599 -- 01:06:02,761
Gamma Gamma was selected
as a finalist in FHM's...
1229
01:06:02,866 -- 01:06:06,165
hottest sorority contest.
1230
01:06:06,266 -- 01:06:08,427
Then, guess what?
1231
01:06:08,533 -- 01:06:09,761
We won.
1232
01:06:12,633 -- 01:06:13,861
Thank you, thank you.
1233
01:06:13,966 -- 01:06:14,796
Gamma!
1234
01:06:14,900 -- 01:06:15,628
Gamma!
1235
01:06:15,733 -- 01:06:16,461
Gamma!
1236
01:06:16,566 -- 01:06:17,260
Gamma!
1237
01:06:17,366 -- 01:06:18,060
Gamma!
1238
01:06:18,166 -- 01:06:18,825
Gamma!
1239
01:06:18,933 -- 01:06:19,627
Gamma!
1240
01:06:19,733 -- 01:06:20,392
Gamma!
1241
01:06:20,499 -- 01:06:21,159
Gamma!
1242
01:06:21,266 -- 01:06:21,960
Gamma!
1243
01:06:22,066 -- 01:06:22,828
Gamma!
1244
01:06:22,933 -- 01:06:24,924
Thank you, thank you.
1245
01:06:25,033 -- 01:06:26,625
Before l was
elected president,
1246
01:06:26,733 -- 01:06:29,201
Gamma Gamma threw
average parties...
1247
01:06:29,300 -- 01:06:31,495
and made below
average impressions.
1248
01:06:31,599 -- 01:06:33,329
Not hot.
1249
01:06:33,433 -- 01:06:35,833
But since the dawn of
what i'd like to call...
1250
01:06:35,933 -- 01:06:39,425
the Victorian era, we have
achieved total hotness.
1251
01:06:42,933 -- 01:06:47,393
And we're going to be
on the cover of FHM.
1252
01:06:47,499 -- 01:06:54,997
lt's important that future
Gammas are the most poised...
1253
01:06:55,099 -- 01:06:58,263
sophisticated, and
beautiful girls on campus...
1254
01:06:58,366 -- 01:06:59,958
ftS yOU Cftn See.
1255
01:07:00,066 -- 01:07:03,524
And these are the kind of
freaks that will never get in!
1256
01:07:03,633 -- 01:07:05,794
Yeah!
1257
01:07:05,900 -- 01:07:07,197
l can't believe they
actually thought...
1258
01:07:07,300 -- 01:07:11,430
they were going to get in.
1259
01:07:11,533 -- 01:07:15,367
Let's hear it for the
Gamma girls, guys.
1260
01:07:15,466 -- 01:07:18,629
How hot is this?
1261
01:07:23,133 -- 01:07:24,657
Girls, paint them up.
1262
01:07:31,833 -- 01:07:33,528
Why won't you run?
1263
01:07:40,133 -- 01:07:41,327
This ain't right.
1264
01:07:47,333 -- 01:07:48,630
Take this!
1265
01:08:07,966 -- 01:08:10,366
l can't believe l let
her play me like that.
1266
01:08:10,466 -- 01:08:12,195
Why don't we pick
up this stuff...
1267
01:08:12,300 -- 01:08:13,824
and set the dang
house on fire?
1268
01:08:13,933 -- 01:08:16,094
And after that, we'll set
the whole campus on fire!
1269
01:08:16,200 -- 01:08:17,667
At least we'll have
somewhere to stay.
1270
01:08:17,766 -- 01:08:20,894
l hear the beds are very
comfortable in jail.
1271
01:08:20,999 -- 01:08:23,298
And we get used
to the rough sex.
1272
01:08:23,400 -- 01:08:26,267
Babs, not now.
1273
01:08:26,366 -- 01:08:28,891
Our possessions have
been strewn in the dirt...
1274
01:08:29,000 -- 01:08:31,298
like our hopes
and our dreams!
1275
01:08:31,400 -- 01:08:33,561
Oh, Krishna.
1276
01:08:33,666 -- 01:08:35,759
Why have you deserted us?
1277
01:08:35,866 -- 01:08:37,800
Why?
1278
01:08:37,900 -- 01:08:40,198
Gloria, l am so sorry.
1279
01:08:40,299 -- 01:08:41,358
Forget it, Derek.
1280
01:08:41,466 -- 01:08:42,592
l don't even
wanna hear it.
1281
01:08:42,700 -- 01:08:43,462
Well, you don't actually
think l had something...
1282
01:08:43,566 -- 01:08:44,897
to do with that, do you?
1283
01:08:45,000 -- 01:08:46,058
lt was all a big ploy...
1284
01:08:46,166 -- 01:08:47,997
to make us look like fools
in front of everyone.
1285
01:08:48,099 -- 01:08:50,000
You disgust me.
1286
01:08:50,099 -- 01:08:52,660
l swear to you l had
nothing to do with that.
1287
01:08:52,766 -- 01:08:55,234
How do l make you
understand this?
1288
01:08:55,333 -- 01:08:57,597
l have no loyalty
to her anymore.
1289
01:08:57,700 -- 01:08:58,792
Okay.
1290
01:08:58,900 -- 01:09:00,663
Prove it.
1291
01:09:00,766 -- 01:09:03,633
What's the most
important thing to her...
1292
01:09:03,733 -- 01:09:04,961
in her shallow life?
1293
01:09:05,066 -- 01:09:06,693
Besides making us
Iook like fools?
1294
01:09:06,799 -- 01:09:07,732
l don't know.
1295
01:09:07,833 -- 01:09:09,027
l really don't know.
1296
01:09:09,133 -- 01:09:10,566
FHM magazine.
1297
01:09:10,666 -- 01:09:12,258
Getting on the cover has
been an obsession of hers...
1298
01:09:12,366 -- 01:09:13,594
since i've known her.
1299
01:09:13,700 -- 01:09:14,962
For the last three years
all she wants to do..
1300
01:09:15,066 -- 01:09:17,057
is win this stupid
contest, and l know how...
1301
01:09:17,166 -- 01:09:19,134
to make that dream
turn into a nightmare.
1302
01:09:19,233 -- 01:09:21,098
This party is gonna be the
biggest night of her life.
1303
01:09:21,200 -- 01:09:22,792
You wanna get back at her?
1304
01:09:22,900 -- 01:09:25,698
The keys to Gamma Gamma.
1305
01:09:25,799 -- 01:09:29,998
Let's do it, Gloria.
1306
01:09:30,099 -- 01:09:32,227
-Give me that.
-Yes!
1307
01:09:39,733 -- 01:09:42,566
Just like everyone,
Kristen let me down.
1308
01:09:42,666 -- 01:09:44,930
But if being mean to
people turned her off...
1309
01:09:45,033 -- 01:09:48,434
then why the hell did
she become a Gamma?
1310
01:09:48,533 -- 01:09:51,468
You are not welcome
here, stabber of backs.
1311
01:09:51,566 -- 01:09:53,158
l have a good mind to
put you over my knee...
1312
01:09:53,266 -- 01:09:55,496
and give you the spanking
of your life, young lady.
1313
01:09:55,599 -- 01:09:58,125
Oh, i've been bad, too.
1314
01:09:58,233 -- 01:10:01,066
l just wanted to
say that l'm sorry.
1315
01:10:01,166 -- 01:10:02,758
l don't know what
l was thinking...
1316
01:10:02,866 -- 01:10:04,834
and l don't blame
you for hating me...
1317
01:10:04,933 -- 01:10:06,696
but l know what
l did was wrong...
1318
01:10:06,799 -- 01:10:09,792
and l want to make
it up to you.
1319
01:10:09,900 -- 01:10:12,334
Pledging a sorority isn't
worth hurting other people...
1320
01:10:12,433 -- 01:10:17,063
especially people who
used to be your friends.
1321
01:10:17,166 -- 01:10:22,229
l forgive you, my child.
1322
01:10:22,333 -- 01:10:24,858
Excuse me.
1323
01:10:29,533 -- 01:10:31,694
l know, l wouldn't
trust me either.
1324
01:10:31,799 -- 01:10:34,860
But l've changed.
1325
01:10:34,966 -- 01:10:38,265
l want to help you guys
get back at the Gammas.
1326
01:10:38,366 -- 01:10:40,994
Let's get 'em.
1327
01:10:44,666 -- 01:10:47,726
Hello, my beautiful,
beautiful bitches.
1328
01:10:47,833 -- 01:10:50,802
Welcome to the
FHM beauty shoot...
1329
01:10:50,900 -- 01:10:52,959
because we're going to
make you on the cover...
1330
01:10:53,066 -- 01:10:55,398
of the world's best
men's magazine.
1331
01:10:55,500 -- 01:10:58,401
You are going to
absolutely look gorgeous.
1332
01:10:58,500 -- 01:10:59,398
Give me sex.
1333
01:10:59,500 -- 01:11:00,398
Give me love.
1334
01:11:00,500 -- 01:11:01,592
Give it to me.
1335
01:11:01,700 -- 01:11:03,133
This is what l want
you bitches to do.
1336
01:11:03,233 -- 01:11:05,599
Victoria, you stand
in the middle...
1337
01:11:05,700 -- 01:11:07,497
you lovely, lovely
goddess of light.
1338
01:11:07,599 -- 01:11:09,659
The rest of you bitches,
go around in a circle.
1339
01:11:09,766 -- 01:11:11,791
ln a circle!
1340
01:11:11,900 -- 01:11:12,889
Okay.
1341
01:11:13,000 -- 01:11:14,331
Yes.
1342
01:11:14,433 -- 01:11:16,025
Now, dance around
like a horse.
1343
01:11:16,133 -- 01:11:17,464
You want to be in
the picture show...
1344
01:11:17,566 -- 01:11:19,659
you have to do it like
you're on a horse.
1345
01:11:19,766 -- 01:11:22,564
All of you are creatures,
except for Victoria.
1346
01:11:22,666 -- 01:11:23,690
You stay in the middle.
1347
01:11:23,799 -- 01:11:24,858
All of you creatures.
1348
01:11:24,966 -- 01:11:27,025
Victoria, l
swear to Versace...
1349
01:11:27,133 -- 01:11:29,795
if you weren't here, l'd be
like a banana.. l'd do a split.
1350
01:11:29,900 -- 01:11:30,867
Get out of here.
1351
01:11:30,966 -- 01:11:31,898
Please, Just stay
in the middle.
1352
01:11:32,000 -- 01:11:33,160
l need to take some
pictures of you.
1353
01:11:33,266 -- 01:11:34,290
He loves me.
1354
01:11:34,400 -- 01:11:35,560
He loves me.
1355
01:11:35,666 -- 01:11:37,293
l'll make him give
me that cover.
1356
01:11:47,633 -- 01:11:50,329
Those bitches, they
snuck into Gamma
1357
01:11:50,433 -- 01:11:52,594
during our group
liposuction night.
1358
01:12:02,466 -- 01:12:05,492
These are the smallest
cameras known to man.
1359
01:12:05,599 -- 01:12:13,166
The lenses are the
size of a-of a-a pinhead.
1360
01:12:13,266 -- 01:12:16,997
Virtually undetectable.
1361
01:12:17,099 -- 01:12:22,367
You can hide these
bad boys anywhere.
1362
01:12:22,466 -- 01:12:26,402
Picture frames, sunglasses...
1363
01:12:29,833 -- 01:12:32,700
You can even hide
them in a pet's fur.
1364
01:12:46,333 -- 01:12:49,393
Hey, will you be able to
find anything on Victoria?
1365
01:12:52,433 -- 01:12:54,458
Yes.
1366
01:12:54,566 -- 01:12:57,194
You guys aren't gonna
believe what l just found.
1367
01:12:57,299 -- 01:12:59,029
We got something.
1368
01:12:59,133 -- 01:13:01,124
Look what l found...
1369
01:13:01,233 -- 01:13:07,604
bonner central.
1370
01:13:07,700 -- 01:13:10,100
We're coming to you live
from the world famous...
1371
01:13:10,200 -- 01:13:12,566
South Beach Miami, for
what promises to be...
1372
01:13:12,666 -- 01:13:15,362
the hottest party of the year,
the unveiling of the new...
1373
01:13:15,466 -- 01:13:18,299
FHM sorority of the
year magazine cover.
1374
01:13:18,400 -- 01:13:20,493
Gamma Gamma sorority
won the contest...
1375
01:13:20,599 -- 01:13:22,158
and we can't wait to see
what they're wearing...
1376
01:13:22,266 -- 01:13:23,665
or not wearing.
1377
01:13:23,766 -- 01:13:24,960
Tonight.
1378
01:13:32,866 -- 01:13:34,458
Come on in girls, these guys
are gonna help you on out.
1379
01:13:34,566 -- 01:13:36,056
They're my little
temp service here.
1380
01:13:36,166 -- 01:13:38,191
This is Jos, he
testified in trial...
1381
01:13:38,299 -- 01:13:40,530
for me with the border
patrol back in the day...
1382
01:13:40,633 -- 01:13:41,395
you know what l'm saying?
1383
01:13:41,500 -- 01:13:42,762
That guy with the
turban did it.
1384
01:13:42,866 -- 01:13:44,766
Now these guys wanna get
back at them Gamma bitches.
1385
01:13:44,866 -- 01:13:46,925
The Gammas turned
em on in to the INS...
1386
01:13:47,033 -- 01:13:50,002
so they wanna get
back at the girls too.
1387
01:13:50,099 -- 01:13:51,965
Thank you.
1388
01:13:52,066 -- 01:13:54,967
Anything you need
they're gonna help you.
1389
01:13:56,966 -- 01:13:58,365
l get hepatitis.
1390
01:14:02,599 -- 01:14:03,726
No Poops.
1391
01:14:09,533 -- 01:14:11,160
Damn!
1392
01:14:11,266 -- 01:14:13,131
l mean this is
like a buffet.
1393
01:14:13,233 -- 01:14:19,001
Oh my god, that's
Carmen Electra.
1394
01:14:19,099 -- 01:14:20,829
She's my fantasy
girlfriend.
1395
01:14:20,933 -- 01:14:22,662
She's coming here.
1396
01:14:30,733 -- 01:14:32,257
Hey.
1397
01:14:32,366 -- 01:14:37,668
Um...nice legs.
1398
01:14:37,766 -- 01:14:40,064
Thanks.
1399
01:14:40,166 -- 01:14:44,762
What time do they open?
1400
01:14:44,866 -- 01:14:48,131
l was thinking maybe we
could go somewhere...
1401
01:14:48,233 -- 01:14:54,069
and, uh...talk.
1402
01:14:54,166 -- 01:14:55,633
Oh, Dax!
1403
01:14:55,733 -- 01:14:57,098
Oh God.
1404
01:14:57,200 -- 01:14:58,462
Hey!
1405
01:14:58,566 -- 01:15:00,124
Step away from my man!
1406
01:15:00,233 -- 01:15:01,461
l don't know her.
1407
01:15:01,566 -- 01:15:04,592
Kids this is Dax,
he's your new daddy.
1408
01:15:04,700 -- 01:15:05,257
What?
1409
01:15:05,366 -- 01:15:06,162
No, l don't have kids!
1410
01:15:06,266 -- 01:15:06,960
Pony ride!
1411
01:15:07,066 -- 01:15:07,828
No-no, don't leave!
1412
01:15:07,933 -- 01:15:08,831
Wait, Carmen!
1413
01:15:13,066 -- 01:15:14,465
By any chance
are you jewish?
1414
01:15:14,566 -- 01:15:18,502
No, l'm methodist.
1415
01:15:18,599 -- 01:15:21,194
That'll do.
1416
01:15:31,766 -- 01:15:34,234
What's up, hottie?
1417
01:15:34,333 -- 01:15:37,325
Word.
1418
01:15:37,433 -- 01:15:40,129
You ever been in the
back of a pickup truck?
1419
01:15:40,233 -- 01:15:42,724
What's a pickup truck?
1420
01:15:42,833 -- 01:15:45,734
You're about to find out.
1421
01:15:50,933 -- 01:15:52,730
You're not gonna be
needing this shit.
1422
01:16:04,566 -- 01:16:05,533
Hi.
1423
01:16:05,633 -- 01:16:07,294
Hi.
1424
01:16:07,400 -- 01:16:09,300
Would you like a drink?
1425
01:16:09,400 -- 01:16:10,958
Su-sure.
1426
01:16:11,066 -- 01:16:14,661
Champagne's really good
for the complexion.
1427
01:16:14,766 -- 01:16:18,202
Just kiss her
allready you big puss!
1428
01:16:18,299 -- 01:16:20,325
Wooo!
1429
01:16:20,433 -- 01:16:23,869
Oh, God, somebody kill me!
1430
01:16:23,966 -- 01:16:27,265
l'm a pony!
1431
01:16:27,366 -- 01:16:30,563
l'm a pony!
1432
01:16:30,666 -- 01:16:35,126
And now the moment
you've been waiting for...
1433
01:16:35,233 -- 01:16:39,567
FHM presents the
girls of Gamma Gamma.
1434
01:17:06,066 -- 01:17:08,591
And now, here's your
host for the evening...
1435
01:17:08,700 -- 01:17:11,965
Sofia Vergara!
1436
01:17:12,066 -- 01:17:15,934
We have searched far and
wide to find a sorority...
1437
01:17:16,033 -- 01:17:17,830
that will represent
everything...
1438
01:17:17,933 -- 01:17:20,424
that you have come
to love about FHM...
1439
01:17:20,533 -- 01:17:25,129
sex apeal, power,
style and respect.
1440
01:17:25,233 -- 01:17:29,226
Let me present to you
FHM's hottest sorority...
1441
01:17:29,333 -- 01:17:31,062
Gamma Gamma!
1442
01:17:34,400 -- 01:17:35,890
Congratulations!
1443
01:17:38,633 -- 01:17:39,600
Thank you.
1444
01:17:39,700 -- 01:17:41,395
Thank you.
1445
01:17:41,500 -- 01:17:45,800
People told me, ''Victoria
no question about it...
1446
01:17:45,900 -- 01:17:47,629
''you're the hottest
sorority leader...
1447
01:17:47,733 -- 01:17:49,701
''at South Beach University.''
1448
01:17:49,799 -- 01:17:53,702
But the entire country, l
just knew l could do it.
1449
01:17:53,799 -- 01:18:00,933
And this is only the beginning
of Victoria English.
1450
01:18:01,033 -- 01:18:05,231
This is supposed to be
about Gamma, not just her.
1451
01:18:05,333 -- 01:18:07,460
Sofia, you are so hot.
1452
01:18:07,566 -- 01:18:09,898
We should totally like
do a show together.
1453
01:18:10,000 -- 01:18:11,991
Oh my god, thank
you, of course.
1454
01:18:12,099 -- 01:18:13,692
Wouldn't that
be so hot guys?
1455
01:18:13,799 -- 01:18:14,926
Do her!
1456
01:18:21,933 -- 01:18:27,872
Hi, l have a really
big favor to ask you...
1457
01:18:27,966 -- 01:18:31,959
l seem to have dropped my
earring backing over here.
1458
01:18:32,066 -- 01:18:35,558
l was wondering if you
could help me find it.
1459
01:18:35,666 -- 01:18:37,725
All right Gammas, do you
wanna see your cover?
1460
01:18:44,299 -- 01:18:46,268
We're not even on it.
1461
01:18:46,366 -- 01:18:49,164
Victoria looks
really beautiful.
1462
01:18:52,200 -- 01:18:55,397
God l look hot.
1463
01:18:55,500 -- 01:18:59,129
Backstabbing little bitch!
1464
01:18:59,233 -- 01:19:01,633
And now lets take a
Iook behind the scenes...
1465
01:19:01,733 -- 01:19:05,134
at the hottest
sorority in America.
1466
01:19:09,533 -- 01:19:11,694
Hey everybody, l'm
Victoria English...
1467
01:19:11,799 -- 01:19:14,860
president of Gamma Gamma and
l wanna show you around.
1468
01:19:14,966 -- 01:19:17,696
This is the
master bedroom.
1469
01:19:17,799 -- 01:19:20,030
And this is Gamsie, my dog.
1470
01:19:27,566 -- 01:19:29,431
# Twinkle-twinkle little... #
1471
01:19:37,733 -- 01:19:39,894
They showed me
on the potty.
1472
01:19:40,000 -- 01:19:42,764
What are you doing
you ugly ass?
1473
01:19:50,633 -- 01:19:54,160
You poor thing, there
you go you're better.
1474
01:19:54,266 -- 01:19:56,097
You are looking so thin.
1475
01:19:56,200 -- 01:19:57,224
Thank you.
1476
01:19:57,333 -- 01:19:58,732
Probably had
another abortion.
1477
01:20:03,333 -- 01:20:04,459
Uh-oh.
1478
01:20:14,633 -- 01:20:16,225
You fucking bitches.
1479
01:20:22,000 -- 01:20:22,864
Stop the video!
1480
01:20:22,966 -- 01:20:24,297
l did not approve of this!
1481
01:20:36,799 -- 01:20:37,767
Oh my God!
1482
01:20:37,866 -- 01:20:39,231
That's my school picture!
1483
01:20:39,333 -- 01:20:40,265
Oh, my God.
1484
01:20:40,366 -- 01:20:41,560
Where did you find that?
1485
01:20:44,500 -- 01:20:46,764
Stop the video, l did
not approve of this.
1486
01:20:49,966 -- 01:20:52,025
Very, very
interesting but...
1487
01:20:52,133 -- 01:20:54,658
This isn't the right tape.
1488
01:20:54,766 -- 01:20:57,564
l was obviously joking.
1489
01:20:57,666 -- 01:21:01,295
Everybody knows what a
great sense of humor l have.
1490
01:21:01,400 -- 01:21:03,129
You can't walk out on me!
1491
01:21:03,233 -- 01:21:05,292
Where are you all going?
1492
01:21:05,400 -- 01:21:06,697
None of this is true!
1493
01:21:06,799 -- 01:21:08,893
Don't you know who l am?
1494
01:21:09,000 -- 01:21:10,865
l'm Victoria English!
1495
01:21:10,966 -- 01:21:14,629
Those bitches just set this
up because their jealous!
1496
01:21:14,733 -- 01:21:16,530
Oh Shit.
1497
01:21:18,533 -- 01:21:20,558
Hey, any of you broads...
1498
01:21:20,666 -- 01:21:23,362
wanna eat sushi off
my naked body?
1499
01:21:23,466 -- 01:21:26,094
l am the one.
1500
01:21:26,200 -- 01:21:29,135
Oh, yes.
1501
01:21:29,233 -- 01:21:32,202
l am the one.
1502
01:21:36,299 -- 01:21:39,565
Aren't you one of those
Gamma Gamma girls?
1503
01:21:39,666 -- 01:21:42,760
Oh, darlin', l'm not just one
of the Gamma Gamma girls...
1504
01:21:42,866 -- 01:21:45,460
l'm victoria english.
1505
01:21:45,566 -- 01:21:48,296
Right, and l'm
Paris Hilton.
1506
01:21:54,900 -- 01:21:56,993
Where have you
been baby dick?
1507
01:21:57,099 -- 01:21:59,694
Victoria, it's all over.
1508
01:21:59,799 -- 01:22:01,734
l deserve better.
1509
01:22:01,833 -- 01:22:04,324
Better than me?
1510
01:22:04,433 -- 01:22:07,129
There's no one
better than me.
1511
01:22:07,233 -- 01:22:08,495
And there's no
way l'm gonna let...
1512
01:22:08,599 -- 01:22:10,227
some dumbass pledge
ruin my relationship...
1513
01:22:10,333 -- 01:22:12,198
with this worthless
piece of shit.
1514
01:22:12,299 -- 01:22:15,064
Victoria...
1515
01:22:15,166 -- 01:22:19,296
-Pledge this.
-Pledge this.
1516
01:22:19,400 -- 01:22:20,992
Derek disapointed me.
1517
01:22:21,099 -- 01:22:23,125
He was too clueless
to know what he had.
1518
01:22:23,233 -- 01:22:26,634
As far as l'm concerned, she
can have that tiny bastard.
1519
01:22:26,733 -- 01:22:28,724
That was great,
baby, fantastic.
1520
01:22:28,833 -- 01:22:31,563
Ari Belinsky producer
E channel Los Angeles.
1521
01:22:31,666 -- 01:22:35,124
So, where you really
an ugly kid, or what?
1522
01:22:35,233 -- 01:22:37,064
lt's all lies!
1523
01:22:37,166 -- 01:22:38,690
Oh, it's too bad.
1524
01:22:38,799 -- 01:22:40,461
l was hoping we could
do a reality show,
1525
01:22:40,566 -- 01:22:41,931
back to basic's
kind of thing...
1526
01:22:42,033 -- 01:22:44,695
but if it isn't true...
1527
01:22:44,799 -- 01:22:47,564
A show about me?
1528
01:22:47,666 -- 01:22:50,260
lt's all true!
1529
01:22:50,366 -- 01:22:52,095
lt's all true!
1530
01:22:52,200 -- 01:22:54,430
A true Gamma Gamma
never quits...
1531
01:22:54,533 -- 01:22:57,195
so l gave them the
ending they wanted.
1532
01:22:59,733 -- 01:23:04,136
Well, l guess now you
all know the real me.
1533
01:23:04,233 -- 01:23:05,928
Pretty huh?
1534
01:23:09,566 -- 01:23:12,091
Sometimes it's hard
for me to remember...
1535
01:23:12,200 -- 01:23:14,691
what it was like
all those years...
1536
01:23:14,799 -- 01:23:17,325
of being ridiculed
and laughed at.
1537
01:23:17,433 -- 01:23:19,663
l struggled to erase that
girl you saw up there...
1538
01:23:19,766 -- 01:23:23,429
and become the one that
you see down here.
1539
01:23:23,533 -- 01:23:28,869
Respected, admired, hot.
1540
01:23:28,966 -- 01:23:34,233
But l guess somewhere
along the way...
1541
01:23:34,333 -- 01:23:36,528
l became like one of those
people that caused me...
1542
01:23:36,633 -- 01:23:41,366
so much pain and that
is totally not hot.
1543
01:23:41,466 -- 01:23:44,697
lt's not about how you
Iook or building your body...
1544
01:23:44,799 -- 01:23:48,065
or straighting your nose
or getting bigger boobs.
1545
01:23:48,166 -- 01:23:52,466
lt's about your attitude
and that's what's hot...
1546
01:23:52,566 -- 01:23:55,296
and l should know
because l invented it.
1547
01:24:04,900 -- 01:24:06,731
Morgan?
1548
01:24:06,833 -- 01:24:08,892
You're a bitch!
1549
01:24:09,000 -- 01:24:13,164
You tell me now about this
hot attitude bullshit!
1550
01:24:13,266 -- 01:24:16,861
l spent my life savings
fixing my nose...
1551
01:24:16,966 -- 01:24:19,764
and my entire body
to look like you!
1552
01:24:19,866 -- 01:24:24,565
Now you tell me to
be me and not you.
1553
01:24:24,666 -- 01:24:26,293
You're a disgrace.
1554
01:24:26,400 -- 01:24:29,233
l hate you!
1555
01:24:29,333 -- 01:24:31,563
Hey, lady, get a life.
1556
01:24:36,833 -- 01:24:40,200
So, l made a nice speech
about having a good attitude...
1557
01:24:40,299 -- 01:24:42,131
and inner beauty.
1558
01:24:42,233 -- 01:24:43,825
But l can't figure out...
1559
01:24:43,933 -- 01:24:46,265
if l was mad at those girls
for showing me up...
1560
01:24:46,366 -- 01:24:48,197
or proud that they
actually managed...
1561
01:24:48,299 -- 01:24:50,632
to totally minipulate me.
1562
01:24:50,733 -- 01:24:52,758
What the heck?
1563
01:24:52,866 -- 01:24:57,303
The next year Gloria became the
president of Gamma Gamma.
1564
01:24:57,400 -- 01:25:02,269
And me, l loved
my cover so much...
1565
01:25:02,366 -- 01:25:04,800
l bought FHM magazine.